(Alex Rush and Despayre were used with permission from their handlers)
Blaze of Glory has come and gone and despite his confidence going into the match, Caleb would ultimately lose the opening Triple Threat Match when Stephan Callaway was pinned by Kedron Williams but Caleb had a chance to bounce back this week on Climax Control where he was taking on O’Malley in singles competition, O’Malley had earned some infamy as the one and only person to ever get intentionally disqualified from a Blast from a Past Tournament Match by low blowing a male opponent, can Caleb win?
On the hotel grounds, Las Vegas, Nevada
Friday the 24th of April 2020, 11:00am
Just because we are under lockdown does not mean we’re not going to exercise our puppy!
Look, the treadmill could only keep Lemmy occupied for so long and we decided that it was time to take him out on walks, and by walks I mean quick, five minute walks around the edge of the hotel whilst wearing facemasks and playing quick games of fetch every once in a while.
Call us paranoid but after Jessie, Jake and Shane got the Corona Virus mere weeks before Blaze of Glory we are not taking any chances!
But enough about that because this Sunday is all about bouncing back from a win that was stolen from me! Yeah, I am talking about the Triple Threat Match, what else would I be talking about? But that’s in the past because this Sunday I’m taking on O’Malley in singles competition, encase you’ve forgotten he’s the edgelord that got himself disqualified from this year’s Blast from the Past Tournament by low blowing Austin James Mercer! The only way he could be dumber is if Austin was defending the Internet Championship in that match!
And if he tries that against me in this match? Well, Katie won’t be very happy.
“What’s up with Lemmy?” Katie wondered breaking my concentration, as I walked him yesterday it was now Katie’s turn to walk Lemmy and he was acting odd, even for a Labrador puppy. “He keeps stopping to sniff the air, maybe he’s trying to sniff the corona virus.”
“Katie, I know dog noses are really sensitive and all but come on.” I responded with a slight laugh as Lemmy’s tail started to wag, we couldn’t see it but being a Labrador tail, we could definitely feel it behind us. “I don’t think they are good enough to smell disease in the air.”
“Maybe but wouldn’t it be cool if the puppy we adopted from the shelter just happened to be the one who could detect diseases like that.” Katie responded as Lemmy started to move on his own. “We could probably take him on America’s Got……….” Katie never finished her sentence (nor did I get a chance to point out how limited a talent that would be) before Lemmy unexpectedly bounded, fortunately we had learned from all the times Lemmy had gotten lose from us at Climax Control and we kept a tight grip as Lemmy pulled us along before stopping in front of a hippo.
Wait, what?!
“Peter, there you are!” The voice of Despayre rang out from behind the hippo and we watched, knowing how dangerous hippos could be, n silent horror as Lemmy jumped around the much larger animal, thankfully the hippo seemed to be rather chilled out, probably a side effect of hanging out with Despayre as the retired wrestler came from behind the hippo. “We’re trying to teach you how to pay fetch!”
“I have so many questions.” Katie whispered to me as Despy spotted us. “Like, what exactly are they playing fetch with? And who’s “we”?”
“Oh, Alex Rush and his rhino are with us down there.” Despy said as he motioned behind him before Lemmy walked up to him for a sniff, we weren’t sure how Despy was going to react at first until he got a big goofy grin on his face. “And you brought your dog as well! We can have a animal kingdom playdate!”
Wait, what was that about a rhino?
Despy led us towards where he and the hippo came from and whilst being extremely careful (I don’t care how chilled that hippo is, he’s still a hippo and male hippos weigh around 1500 kgs, I don’t want that thing and in the current pandemic the last thing I need is a new foot) to not walk alongside it we followed Despy and the hippo. “Despy! There you are!” Alex Rush greeted him and sure enough the other half of the SCU Tag Champs, a motherfucking rhino, was with him.
Am I having a weird dream right now? Am I about to wake up at any second?
“Yes, and I brought friends to play with Edwin Robert!” Despayre exclaimed with glee as we could only watch in disbelief. “Don’t worry, we’ll make sure Lemmy won’t get trampled.”
“Caleb, take Lemmy’s lead.” Katie instructed me and I took it from her. “Despy, Alex, you think you can get the rhino and the hippo to pose for a picture with our dog?” Katie asked before pausing. “Did I seriously just ask that question?”
“Yes, you did, and we’d be glad too.” Despayre exclaimed and before long I found myself in between two massive animals with me and Lemmy, now I’m not exactly a small guy and Lemmy is getting up there in size but next to Edwin and Peter? I may as well be a small child and Lemmy a newborn puppy! And why did Katie ask for us to pose like this.
“Good, the Lab Owners Facebook group will never believe me if I don’t take pictures of this!” Katie exclaimed and if I were an anume character, I’d face fault right now, but I remained standing as Katie took several pictures. “Just want to clear these with you guys before I post them to Facebook.” Katie added before she walked up to us, Despy instantly approved of the photos and when she showed them to Alex, he too approved.
“Those are some great pictures Katie!” Alex complemented her as I kept Lemmy on a short leash, for his protection of course. “You’ll tag us in the post, right?”
“Off course I………” We were cut off by what had to be loudest thump I had ever heard in my entire life before we spun around and saw Peter on his back wiggling around like a cat as Despy gave it belly rubs, you know what? I think it’s time I did my promo, nothing else will top that imagery! So I handed Katie back the lead and got the camera out as I got ready to do my promo.
“Blaze of Glory didn’t go as planned as Kedron is now set to face Jack Ruscow, who I’m pretty sure is the youngest Roulette Champion ever now that I think about it, at the next PPV but a lot can happen between then and now, just look at what’s happening behind me!” I said before pointing my camera to Alex and Katie playing fetch with Lemmy whilst Peter just chilled out and Despy continued to give his hippo belly rubs. “But in all seriousness, this Sunday I’m all set to bounce back from my loss with my match against O’Malley!”
This should be good.
“You know, I didn’t think I’d ever need to bring a cup to a wrestling match but after O’Malley intentionally got himself disqualified from the Blast from the Past Tournament with a low blow I might just need to do that on Sunday night! And before anyone says that he might learn from his mistakes, well no one learned from their mistakes when it came to Bernie Sanders, did they?! And I’m sure Edgelord O’Malley will be no different!”
It’s that simple!
“I don’t know what the rest of the Supercard period has in store for me but starting it off with a win will be ideal! And if O’Malley was dumb enough to disqualify himself from the Blast from the Past Tournament then beating him shouldn’t be a problem for me especially after my loss at Blaze of Glory because bouncing back from that loss is my main propriety in this match! Whatever happens after that match I will just take as it goes, especially after meeting a rhino and a hippo!”
So many questions………
“To summarize, not only will I be taking extra precautions against being low bowed in this match, but I will win this match and start the next month or so on the right course! O’Malley can try his dirty tricks as much as he wants because I will be ready for them unless he brings a gun to the ring but hopefully it will not come to that! And I probably just gave him that idea! Crap! Well, hopefully security will top him from doing so!”
And with that I decided to wrap things up.
“At this rate I’m expecting Despy to ride into Climax Control on a elephant but until then I have a match against O’Malley to win and whilst going below the belt may have worked against Austin James Mercer in the Blast from the Past Tournament, it won’t work against me because I am wise to your tactics so you had better brace yourself because there’s a storm brewing, otherwise you’ll be blown away by “The Metal Storm” Caleb Storms!”
I turned around to watch the animals as the scene fades.
