What an exciting few weeks it has been since Bobbie has been back in Sin City Wrestling! She wasted little time in returning to her fun and carefree ways, introducing the fans and everyone backstage to her new weekly segment “Bobbie’s Boo of The Week.” Unfortunately for her, it also brought out her first real enemy in Sierra Williams, as she chose Sierra’s fiancee, the hunky Lachlan Kane, as her first Boo and then chose Sierra, herself, as the second!
“Oh hell! Here we go again with that annoying chick yammering away in my head.”
Seriously, Bobbie? I told you to pretend I’m not here and to just let me tell your story! I’m having fun for Christ’s sake!
“Having fun and making me look like a fool! But fiiiiine! Just pipe down, would ya!”
You make yourself look like a fool. But everyone still loves you. Anyway. Back to what I was saying. Ah, yes. Bobbie has quickly made herself the enemy in Sierra Williams, landing herself a match against the brash and outspoken future Mrs. Kane at Into The Void 8. Lucky for her, that match is a few weeks away, but this Sunday, on Father’s Day, she finds herself in a match against the seasoned veteran Jessie Salco!
Nothing seems to bring the big girl down. People can try. They can sling insult after insult at her, but does she care? Nope! She doesn’t even respond! She’s happy with who she is, and she loves what she does!
Now...if you mess with her bestie, Artie, that’s a whole different ball game!
“Artie! It’s about damn time! This bitch in my head was driving me bonkers!”
Artie raises an eyebrow as he walks out of the medical locker room following Climax Control 239 where be was superkicked by an angry Sierra Williams. The kick was meant for Bobbie, but Artie had shockingly protected her.
“I think you’ve taken one too many hits to the head, Bobbie. Hearing voices isn’t a good thing.”
“I’m not hearing voiceS, Artie! Just one! And it’s no biggie. I’m not crazy!”
That’s what you think, Bobbie. Artie shakes his head, slowly, still a bit shaken from the superkick. Bobbie looks him overly, still smiling.
“How was the conversation with your secret boy toy? He gonna play hot male nurse and take good care of you?”
Artie lets out a sigh and leans against the wall, folding his arms.
“I don’t have a secret...boy toy. You’re welcome for taking the brunt of Sierra’s anger, by the way.”
“I don’t know why ya did that, Artie! I was just fine, and you know I can handle my own. Especially against guys like that!”
Artie lets out a frustrated sigh, for the first time. Bobbie seems surprised, as she should be! Artie is never like this, and he seems to be...off.
“Do you want Sierra to kill you, Bobbie? Why do you keep egging her on like that? I know you know she’s not a man.”
Ooh you go Artie. I like this side of you! Bobbie, on the other hand, is left almost speechless. Almost, because nothing ever leaves her speechless.
“Boy, that new boy toy of yours is doing something I’ve never been able to do! Pound some bravery into ya! And of course I know she’s not a man, Artie! But I can’t help but have a little fun once in a while. Besides, I want Sierra to be pissed off. When I beat her, it’ll be that much sweeter!”
“I give up.”
Artie throws his hands in the air and starts walking away. As he does, with Bobbie following behind, they are each handed a sheet of paper containing the scheduled matches for Father’s Day.
“Jessie Salco. The scary heavy metal chick?”
Bobbie bursts out laughing.
“Scary? SCARY?! Artie, that chick is far from scary. Hell, I didn’t even know she still wrestled here! This is gonna be fun!”
“She is scary. All metal chicks are scary. That...music...is scary.”
“Well don’t worry, Artie. I’ll protect you from her supposed scariness. It can’t be that hard. She hasn’t done much in the how many years she’s been wrestling?!”
“Oh, yeah. Like you protected me from getting superkicked by Sierra. That’s...great.”
Bobbie’s jaw drops open and she frowns at Artie. Don’t say it, Bobbie!
“That new man of yours isn’t doing his job very well! All that sexual tension is just oozing out of you something fierce! Gimme your phone! I need to call him!”
And she said it. Well, said it better than I thought she would. She tries reaching into Artie’s pocket(for his phone ya pervs!) and he jumps to the side, trying to avoid her.
“There is no one to call, Bobbie! G-g-get away!”
Before Bobbie knows it, Artie goes running down the hall in an effort to keep his phone away from her. She gives chase to him, as everyone stops and stares.
“What is the big deal, Artie?! LET ME HELP YOU GET LAID! HASHTAG GET ARTIE LAID!”
Oh great, another hashtag. Bobbie continues chasing after Artie as the scene fades.
It’s now a few days post Climax Control 239 and we find ourselves just inside a hotel near the Bee Hodzil Fight Scouts Events Center in Fort Defiance, Arizona. It seems like a bit of a reality show, doesn’t it? The cameras following the Superstars and Bombshells of SCW wherever they go. Well, some. Not all!
Bobbie Dahl isn’t shy, though! She lets them follow her whenever they want! At least this week she is allowing it. Because she is attempting to be more like her opponent, Jessie Salco! And we all are quite familiar with how Jessie Salco works.
Poor Artie isn’t too thrilled about the whole idea, though. But he’s going along with it because he’s Bobbie’s best friend, and he sort of has no choice. He’s currently in his hotel room, directly next to Bobbie’s, trying to get a quick cat nap in. Just as he’s about to fall asleep, loud obnoxious music starts blaring next door and the walls start shaking! Artie jumps up and falls right out of the bed, and the music is so loud you don’t hear the THUD he makes when his ass hits the floor. He growls, jumps up and rushes towards the door, with the camera following behind him.
He uses the spare key to Bobbie’s room to make his entrance, because obviously she wouldn’t have heard him knocking or pounding on the door. Artie puts his hands over his ears as he walks into the room where we find Bobbie headbanging and thrashing about on the bed as she listens to that God awful loud music.
“Bobbie!”
He shouts as loud as he can, but it doesn’t make a difference as Bobbie keeps up her antics.
“BOBBIE!”
Again nothing. Artie has to resort to drastic measures as he walks over to the bluetooth speakers plugged into Bobbie’s phone and shuts them off!
“BOBBIE!!!
Bobbie nearly falls, but she manages to plop down on the bed with a thud, and looks up at Artie. She goes to speak, but is hit with a sudden round of dizziness as the room spins. She holds her head and tries to gather herself.
“Hot damn. The room is spinning, Artie! And I’m not even drunk!”
“What...are you doing?”
“What did it look like?! I’m trying to research my opponent! Trying to get an idea of who she is! I’m trying….not to be sick.”
Bobbie holds her mouth, fighting back the urge to be sick. Artie shakes his head.
“What were you listening to? And how is that going to help you against Jessie?”
“Five Finger Discount! Or..the Screaming Zombies! Or...something like that! Hell, I don’t know what it was. That shit never makes any sense! And it’ll help me against Jessie because she’s the Heavy Metal Barbie!”
“That...doesn’t sound right.”
Bobbie waves it off and slowly stands up from the bed. She’s still a little dizzy and nearly falls back down, but she manages to stay upright.
“And why do you have to have these cameras following us around? It’s really creepy. I don’t want someone watching me sleep!”
“What are you so afraid of? Having a wet dream for everyone to see?! Or waking up with a bit of a morning woody woodpecker?!”
Artie slaps his forehead and refuses to answer. He lets out a sigh and Bobbie approaches him.
“Relax, Artie! It’s what Jessie does, so I gotta do the same thing this week! I gotta be one hundred fifty percent prepared so I’m doing what she does! Including listening to that shit her kind calls music!”
“I...think you’re going about this...the wrong way. But at least we agree on the..music part. How are your ears not bleeding?”
As if concerned they might be, Bobbie frantically pulls at her ears, checking for blood. She lets out a sigh of relief when all is good and then shrugs.
“Your guess is as good as mine, A-man! But I do have a banging headache now. Haha! Get it! Banging! Headache! HEADBANG!”
Bobbie cracks herself up and Artie tries his best to find the same humor in her attempt at a joke.
“Oh..haha...hahaha...That’s so...funny. Yeah…”
“I tell ya, Artie, I crack myself up sometimes! I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, aside from that new boyfriend of yours...Oh wait. Unless you’re the alpha! IS THAT IT?! ARE YOU SHOWING THE ALPHA I ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD IN YA?!”
Bobbie jumps up and down gleefully. Luckily she’s wearing a good bra this time, having learned her lesson from knocking herself out a few times doing that!
“Bobbie...please stop.”
“Stop what?! I’m just excited for ya! My little Artie is finally growing up! I really do need to meet this man of yours. Give him my Bobbie stamp of approval. Sooo...go call the lucky man! Invite him to Climax Control this weekend! That’ll give me time to get my promo done!”
“W-w-what? N-n-no..And your promo? Here? Now? This isn’t how you do things!”
Bobbie practically shoves him out the door.
“No, but it’s how Jessie does things! I’ve always wanted to try a hotel room promo! Now, go! Call lover boy! And I fully expect to hear moaning in a little while, too! Have a little phone fun! Haha!”
Before Artie has a chance to argue, Bobbie slams the door in his face and heads back over to the bed. The camera focuses on her and she smiles widely and waves.
“Hey heyyyyy everybody! It’s me! It’s me! It’s the one and only Bobbie Dahl, ready to get down to business and address my opponent this week! Boy this feels strange doing it this way, but ohhhh well! I know Jessie will be watching sooo..here goes!”
She jumps further onto the bed, making herself comfortable all while looking directly into the camera. She waves again as she grabs a pillow and hugs it.
“Ain’t that right, Jessie dear?! I know you’re watching this! I know you’re paying close attention, or should be. If you’re taking me seriously anyway, because I just knowwwww how much you’re wanting to prove yourself again here in SCW now that you’re little title ban has been lifted! Damn girl, you musta been pretty desperate if they had to ban you from going after any titles for as long as they did!”
Bobbie laughs and slaps her knee, but only for a moment. She quickly calms herself and gets back to addressing Jessie.
“I saw your little tweet the other day, Jessie and I gotta say, you make me laugh! That little attempt at an insult was soooo weak, honey! Weight Watchers? I watch my weight just fine! People are so obsessed with losing weight, but I hate losing things! I make sure to keep it with me nice and safe! Besides, my weight is my biggest asset!!”
She pulls the pillow away from her stomach and slaps it(her stomach, not the pillow), and the sound almost echoes through the room.
“You’ll find that out on Sunday, Jessie! You’ll find it out just like Tickle Tits, Amanda Whoretez found out last week! People are quick to think that fat girls have the disadvantage, but have YOU ever tried to stop a boulder coming straight at you?!”
She smiles and thinks for a moment then punches the pillow sending it flying across the room!
“It goes a little something like that! God DAMN, how do you do promos like this, Jessie?! This is just so...so...BORING! It makes me want to sleep! The cameraman is even nodding off! Wake up, Eddie!”
Indeed the cameraman was nodding off and as Bobbie yells at him and snaps her fingers, the camera lifts back up and focuses on her.
“The most exciting person can do a promo in their hotel room, or wherever the hell they are, but can’t make that shit exciting! I could show ya a thing or two about having some REAL fun, Jessie. And it doesn’t involve listening to that horse droppings you call music, either! Blah!”
Bobbie pretends like she is going to shove her finger down her throat, making her sick, and she sits up in the bed.
“I know you want to beat me, Jessie. I know ya want to earn yourself another shot at a title..any title...but honey, that just ain’t gonna happen! Because Bobbie Dahl is one obstacle standing in your way, and I’m not about to get back on the losing train myself!”
She signals to the cameraman and the camera zooms in closer to her.
“I know what it’s like to feel like a joke, Jessie! Hell two years ago, I only won one match out of the four I had in the short amount of time I was here! Just ONE! I didn’t really remember that until the SCW stats historian made the update! Thanks for that, by the way!”
She waves into the camera again and winks.
“Hell, I don’t even give a rat’s ass if I win or lose! I just have fun in the process! Do I want to lose? No! But am I gonna sulk off and throw a hissy fit like some people do? Again NO! I enjoy throwing my weight around and pounding a few bitches! I also like using twiggy little babies like you to send messages to bullies like Sierra Williams! I’m a run away freight train, Jessie! And you can’t stop me!”
Bobbie gets up from the bed and walks over to her bluetooth speakers again. She hits a few buttons, finding the right song.
“Until Sunday, Jessie! I’M HEAVY METAL BOBBIE!!! Yeahhhhhh!!!!”
She hits play and the heavy metal music starts again. She begins thrashing about and jumps on the bed, starting her routine of headbanging once again. Unbeknownst to her, Artie is outside her door, pounding away because she had secretly stolen her spare key! She enjoys herself as she gets into “Jessie Mode” and prepares for her upcoming back against the Heavy Metal Queen. And the scene fades to black!
