If I wanted to be prepared for Anthrax, I had to prepare for the experience. This dude had a reputation a mile wide, built on mind games. So one night, me and my brother went to a haunted house attraction one night. We were prepared to face this fear head on...well, I was anyway
Charles Hawkins: I can't believe you dragged me all the way to this place..it gives me the creeps!Griffin Hawkins: Dude you're my big bro..you're supposed to be the braver of the two.Charles Hawkins: That doesn't shake my fear of clowns.Griffin Hawkins: Dude come on...clowns are funny!Charles Hawkins: Not to me they are..nothing worse than a couple of goofs dressed in makeup blowing balloons..how is this gonna help you prepare for that Insane Clown Posse reject on Sunday?Griffin Hawkins: I'm up against Anthrax..one of the sickest individuals in SCW today, if I wanna beat him, I gotta be ready mentally.Charles Hawkins: So why am I here?Griffin Hawkins: Moral support bro...we gotta stick together!Charles Hawkins: The things I do for you....Griffin Hawkins: Come on man..let's go!We opened the doors and walked in...prepared to come face to face with our worst fear.
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This was not something I was looking forward to...but it had to be done. We walked through the halls of this twisted house of horrors with flashlights in our hands.
Griffin Hawkins: Man...this is creepy as hell. It's like Count Dracula's Alma Matter. Kinda makes you wish you got out more often huh?Charles Hawkins: I'd rather be on vacation in Hawaii than this place...Griffin Hawkins: Come on man, a few throw pillows and a TV and this place will look like home!Charles Hawkins: You are so not funny..The sound of tapping is heard which causes us both to jump.
Griffin Hawkins: Holy crap that was insane!Charles Hawkins: It was just tapping....and you expect to beat this Anthrax guy?We then hear the sounds of high pitched laughter.
Griffin Hawkins: And what do you call that? Just the wind?Charles Hawkins: It could be automated...at least I hope it's automated...As we head down the halls we see doors shaking, almost opening. Not wanting to stick around to see what's behind them, we run past them. We then see what looks to be a Clown standing still.
Griffin Hawkins: It's probably just a statue...I inch my way closer...and suddenly it waves at me.
Griffin Hawkins: Jesus Christ!It then motions for us to go further down the corridor.
Charles Hawkins: See, this is why you're unprepared for Anthrax. You just jump the minute a clown shows his face. You can't let your fears get the best of you..or else he's gonna beat you in that ring.Griffin Hawkins: I'm trying hard..but this place is scary!Charles Hawkins: So is being in the ring...we have nothing to fear but fear itself.Griffin Hawkins: Whoever said that never been in here.The clown continues to follow us, as if he's making sure we go the right way. I look back to him.
Griffin Hawkins: Do you happen to know The Metal Maniacs?...He says nothing as he leads us forward. We then go to a large room where there are two more clowns..one tall, one big. They startle us as they point to the far end of the hallway. It looked to be the exit. As we went to the back exit, we found ourselves outside the haunted house.
Charles Hawkins: So..how was that?Griffin Hawkins: Kinda scary...but actually fun.Charles Hawkins: Does it give you any piece of mind about facing Anthrax?Griffin Hawkins: Actually...yeah. On the outside he is scary..but inside he's as human as you and me. If he can bleed...he can be beaten.Charles Hawkins: So we can go home now?...Griffin Hawkins: Honestly...all this stuff about clowns has got me in the mood to see more. We're going to the Circus!Charles Hawkins: You've got to be kidding me...Griffin Hawkins: Hey, this time it'll be for fun!We get in the car and drive away. I think I finally was in the right place mentally to face Anthrax...for I had a hard battle ahead of me.
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Cameras open to what's left of the circus. I'm sitting in the stands, dressed in blue ripped jeans and a Metallica "Damage Inc" T-Shirt. I eat what's left of my Popcorn and throw the bag away.
"When I was a kid...I used to love the Circus. My Mom would take me there every time they came to town. I'd sit in this seat and eat some Cotton Candy while there would be acrobats, Lion tamers, and of course....clowns that would entertain me. But as I grew older...I started to realize the sad truth about the Circus. And the truth is that once you get past the novelty of the clowns and the bearded lady...it gets old REALLY quick. Well, the freak show known as The Metal Manaics are no different. They are still here..buzzing around SCW, thinking they can instill fear into those who fear them. This week...I take on everyone's favorite clown..Anthrax. A man who is known for playing mind games....even though a lot of times they don't work..."I can't help but laugh...who did this guy think he was dealing with?
"Anthrax...so we meet at last. Unfortunately for me you're nowhere associated with the actual band Anthrax, but from what I have seen...you are pretty scary. Somewhere in that twisted little mind..you're actually a decent wrestler. But as I have also seen, your win loss record is...not so good. In fact you haven't really won any matches and neither have your comrades as of late. So now...we go up against one another. Finally you crawled out from whatever rock you've been hiding under and decide to show yourself and FINALLY get a victory..."I shake my head in disappointment, seen it all from guys like this before.
"You have such a reputation of being crazy...being not all there. And you've done a lot to make people afraid of you. You and those girls you hang with make a dangerous trio. So why am I not afraid of your wrath? Because I know your type enough to know that all this is a smoke screen. You obviously aren't smart like Kedron Williams. Oh yeah..I called him smart because he thought he could intimidate me with all those threats about slaughtering me and I made him tap out..and he's stayed away from me since, knowing I'm smart to his games. So for that, he has brains. You on the other hand Anthrax, you're as dumb as a stump and twice as ugly. You make the same mistake every time cutting all these spooky promos..thinking it'll intimidate your opponent. Look at the people you've been in the ring with..Calvin Harris...Ben Jordan...and many others. You tried to play the sick games you and your crew like to play..but they eventually saw through it and they beat you...just like I will."I slowly rise up, stepping off the benches.
"Hell, many are calling me crazy for accepting this match. A lot have been telling me...dude are you crazy? This guy is a fucking nutjob! Why did I accept?...because I don't fear you. I don't care how many asylums you've been locked in...how many people you've scared out of this company...I'm looking to prove that I am the rightful contender for the Roulette Title. I'll walk through hellfire barefoot if I have to...I'll go through you if I have to. Many are saying that I should've chosen a different opponent this week after Josha Acquin couldn't make it...but when they told me I'd be facing you, I got excited. Because I wanna see if you deserve to have such a bitchin' name. I wanna see if you deserve the right to wear such scary looking makeup and run around like it's Halloween already. More importantly, I want to see if you live up to your reputation in that very ring."I put my hands in my pockets, walking along as the camera man follows me.
"The one thing you seem to thrive off Anthrax...it's fear. But if you look at me, you'll see that I have no fear for a man like you. There are only two things I fear in this world...Nuclear War, and the Taxman. You're nowhere near as scary as them. I'm not afraid of some grown man running around dressing up like a hobo, wearing more makeup than all the Bombshells combined. Why don't I fear you? Because I've been through it all, I've been fighting on the streets since I was a kid, sleeping in dumpsters, spending winter in the cold, losing the only family I ever known. I've been all over the world wrestling and I've been in the ring with them all. I've been busted open, tossed off cages, thrown through tables...I've been through things that would make you cry like a little girl. What more can you do to me that hasn't been done already Anthrax? If you think for one minute that I'm gonna just quake in my boots at the sight of you, then you my friend are one bearded lady short of a freak show."I then look at my watch.
"The time is nearly here Anthrax...you and me one on one in that ring. The time is now..for you to be afraid of what I could do to you. Oh yes..I got a big surprise coming for you clown boy. It's time for you to make a career decision...you either curl up into a ball, and high tail it back to whatever sick decrepit place that you call home, or you face the music..live with the humiliation that the so called most feared man in SCW today, is nothing but a fraud. Because once that bell rings, all the parlor tricks...all the dr.seuss nursery rhymes that you like to pop off at the mouth about week after week...won't save your painted ass."Cracking my neck a little, I look towards the exit of the tent.
"See Anthrax...the jokes are over..no more fun and games. You and me one on one. Remember Pennywise right?...how big and scary he was? He stuck fear in all of the heroes of the story. But everyone knows what happened at the end. They faced their fear...and beat him not once...but twice. Now me...I don't have a slingshot...but all I need are these two fists, and they will proceed to make you even uglier than you are now. Every show has to come to an end. Mine is just getting started...and yours is about to have the curtain dropped on it. Be ready for the Jukebox Hero....be ready to fall. It's time for this Freakshow...to get rocked."I go towards the exit and walk out as the camera crew pack up everything.
