You never know just what you’ve got. Until it’s slipping through your fingers
You never know just what you’ve got. Until it’s gone with the wind
And you never miss your shadow. Until there’s no one left beside you
You never miss your shadow until you’re alone. Alone in the dark
Scene One-A lifetime of mistakes
Off Camera
New York, New York
6 months ago
“Mr Mercer?” Austin stayed staring ahead, his mind wandering off into a deep thought. His hands were clasped together under his chin as the dry, cold, sterile air of the hospital seemed to make his skin itch. Everything seemed to be a blur, the moving nurses and doctors, the patients shuffled from room to room. Austin's eyes focused as he turned his head and finally answered the doctor to his left. “Oh, yes?” He seemed to snap out of it and push up fast to his feet towering over the doctor who stuttered for a moment not really prepared for the size of Austin.
“How is she?” Austin raised an eyebrow as the doctor seemed to stop and think for a moment forgetting what he was about to say before flipping through his clipboard. He sighs and shakes his head slowly. “I’m sorry but, your mother has advanced liver disease…” He seemed to trail off as Austin looked over at the room his mother waited in, he stepped towards it and reached out placing his hand on the wall. His breath staggered as he closed his eyes.
“How bad is it?”
There was silence, the doctor breathed deep and tried to find the right words before swallowing hard. “We can look for a donor but, I need to be honest.” Austin swallowed and shook his head, he could feel it coming. “Due to your mothers past alcohol abuse the board may not vote on her eligibility. She’s high risk and organs aren’t an infinite resource.” He swallowed hard as the pit of his stomach twisted and turned, he felt like he’d been hit hard and fast. The rub had been pulled out from under him.
The thoughts rushed through his mind, what if he’d reached out sooner?. What if he had done it when he was a teenager?. What if he’d been there for her?. Would she have stopped drinking?. Would the damage have been lessened?. Even ended before it began?. “There is hope, you can fight. But I’m just being realistic.” He slowly nodded and put his forehead against the wall. He let out a growl and stood up pounding his fist against the white plasterboard leaving a large crack as nurses and patients stopped and startled staring at him.
“I’m sorry….” He breathed hard and looked over at the doctor with a slow nod holding out his hand. The doctor took it feeling the power in Austin’s grip, their eyes met and Austin pulled him close. “Thank you for your honesty. I will do what I need to for my mother….I’m not losing another one…” The doctor swallowed and sighed “I heard about your father, my condolences, I’ll do what I can”. As he walked away Austin muttered under his breath.
“I wasn’t talking about him….”
You never know just what will break you . Until you’re picking up the pieces
Never know just what will break you . Until your world, it falls apart
Never know how small your voice is. Until you’re screaming at the silence
Never know how small your voice is. Until you’re arguing. Arguing with god
Scene Two-The Passing
Off Camera
New York New York
6 months ago
It was silent in the room. No one seemed to be around. Nurses and Doctors were busy with other patients. Their footsteps muffled as he stared ahead. His long hair flowing down his face and back, shielding his face as his eyes trailed from the fresh white linen to the wall and up to the clock. It slowly ticked over to 2pm. The beeping from the machines seemed to fade in from the silence making it all the more real and current. Each blink seemed to take forever, each time he had to let the darkness pass over his eyes he felt himself die a little inside and panic. What if he missed it? What if these fleeting final moments passed as his eyes shut?
He sat alone because he felt like he had to. He wanted to shield those he loved from the pain. The sadness. The stress. Especially now. Austin knew what he was doing, how much it hurt and the darkness he was facing alone. But he would take it upon himself. Bare it down upon his own shoulders and carry it without being a burden to those who he still had. His heart sank, he knew what he had was worth fighting for. But his mind flashed through all he lost. The woman with pink hair that he thought he loved, his wonderful wife Lisa who saved his heart from falling and breaking to pieces. His father, a man who he had hated, a man who he didn’t know.
But now he sat here, on the verge of tears. His heart filled with loss from his father. His mother, a baby sister he loved as blood. And now this woman. Frail in her movements. A woman he had forgiven for bringing him into this world and treating him like a criminal. The mother he never knew, her fading skin and the colour in her eyes stabbed in in the stomach as he stared up to her. But this didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would. There was a disconnect and a loss he felt more deeply. A loss that was partially his fault. And it made him feel one thing above all.
Guilt.
Guilt about how long it took him to understand his father. Guilt about how things ended with his stepmother and friend. Guilt about not being there for her. And guilt that watching the woman who gave birth to him fade away didn’t hurt him more. The beeping started to phase out again leading into a silence. “Austin?” Her voice cut through it like a knife as all his senses seemed to snap back into place. His eyes focused on her hand taking it in his, she squeezed it hard as he looked up into her eyes. An oxygen tube leading from her nose around to the bottle. She gave him a slow but warm smile. He head tilting to the side. “Will you miss me?”
His teeth seemed to grind together to stop the tears. He swallowed and cleared his throat with a small nod. [/color=yellow]“Of course”[/color] She shook her head and the smile faded as her eyes closed. Her lips twisted and came together as she struggled to breathe. “You shouldn’t” It was a whisper, forced and harsh but still loud enough for Austin to hear. He leaned in confused as her hand seemed to weaken in his. “I was never a mother to you. Not even now. I would have passed and you’d have never have known.” She shook her head as Austin tried to keep it all in, his heart staying in the pit of his stomach as his chest raised and fell fast. So many things tore through his mind. Words of anger, hatred, love and comfort. But nothing passed his lips. Nothing found her ears.
Her eyes opened back up as she looked at him, her hand moving from his to his cheek, her thumb rubbing the one tear that seemed to betray the strength he tried to show. That one stupid tear that got through the defenses. “I love you my boy…”
Her hand fell, her voice quaked and the last spark of color left her eyes and face. Austin sat there for a few moments as the beeps had turned to a screeching He didn’t notice the nurses walk in, the doctor flood to the other side. He stepped back in silence and watched as they tried in vain to bring her back. To give her a few more short moments. But in Austins heart he knew she was gone. Her soul had left this earth and she had passed with the regret of never being what Austin had deserved to have. A mother, a family, someone who understood. He closed his eyes and shook his head breathing deep over and over, his huge frame leaning back against the wall as the medical professionals said what he had already known and felt. She was gone. He turned and left the room stopping in the doorway looking over his shoulder one last time at her now cold colorless eyes.
“I love you too….”
Scene Three-Taking back what’s mine
On Camera
New York, New York
Present Day
“I still have yet to be pinned or submitted….”
Austin scoffs and looks up through the veil of long brown hair over his face.
“Not in Honor, not in SCW. In fact if I can make it till April 7th it will be a whole year of not tapping out or having my shoulders pinned to the mat. This mat not mean alot to people, vecause I have still “lost”, but what it does do is prove that in one on one matches I am a goddamn beast. But, we’ll get to that in a moment. I need to ask a question I know I won’t get a straight answer to because, well, I’m alone here except for this production crew, and their opinion doesn’t matter.”
“Did we all warn you that this was going to happen?”
“Was it fair?”
“Wolfslair appeared, Alex told you what we were going to do. No one lstened. We were booked in a match against Gamer INC, we tod them what would happen. They didn’t just ignore everything we said, they tried to make us, our accomplishments, our pasts, into jokes. They tried to make the company we came from into a joke and now, now I see the truth. Look at Inception. Look at that show. Not one Honor champion walked out with a championship. And Gamer INC tried to make it seem like Alex and I were nothing. But, maybe I’m being too harsh...maybe all these are just coincedences….”
Austin pauses for a moment and shakes his head with a chuckle under his breath. His deep booming voice sounding a few octaves lower.
”Maybe, we aren’t as good as SCW right?. That’s the story they’re going with. Fenris, a guy who is loved and known in SCW and who MMA fans worship thinks he’s a giant star, yet when Alex and he got into it what happened?. Fenris pulled out the “who are you?” card. On a guy who trained me, who is a former Honor champion, a former WWH champion. A guy who has been around the world and more people know about. In three words Fenris showed his ignorance and his arrogance. And this is a man who represents your whole company. And that is the attitude you all have. Fenris is not better than Alex, Dani Weston, is not better then Alicia Lukas and Jake Raab. Is not better than me….”
Austin turns his nose up and scoffs.
”A few weeks ago, I was put in a match for my Honor title. When this company merged with Honor I was still owed a title shot and I got it against Mickey Carroll. I beat Mickey and took the Honor title and wanted to either defend it and keep it’s lineage alive against everyone, or face SCW’s top champion. And when SCW announced that champion vs champion matches were to take place I was excited. I was excited because Fenris and I would be able to clash and I knew I could face him one on one and have a great chance at winning. But then, one of those “coincidences” happened.”
“I was put in a match where I had a disadvantage. A match where I could lose the title without being pinned and in that match that is exactly what happened. Now, losing is a part of this business and I have no problems losing against someone who is a better wrestler who has earned the right to face me but Jake Raab and Casey Williams had not earned anything. Caleb Storms could have been in that match, Caleb Storms could of and should of had a title shot because he didn’t ghet pinned by me in a different triple threat. But that would mean there was some logic or reason behind the decisions SCW officials make..which...I highly fucking doubt…”
“But wait, this according to Jake Raab is “whining” lets just ignore the fact the only reason, this stupid MMA wannabe bitch boy had a shot at me to begin with is because he cried like a child the weeks before. Lets just ignore the fact that even Ty West and Fenris thought it was bullshit. They came to me and Ty talked me out of the anger I was in. He told me that sometimes these things just happen. But I am not going to sit back and let injustice stand. If I get beaten fairly, one on one, I don’t care, I’ll congratulate the man to do it, shake his hand and look him square in the eye. But Jake Raab...you’re not that man…”
“In your heart of hearts Jake can you look in the mirror and say you were the better man?. That your actions have in any way made you a better man than myself or Fenris?. Or can you be a real man and admit SCW made the wrong decision and we were all robbed of a real main event between two pure athletes that only come around once or twice in a generation?.”
Austin shrugs his shoulders and moves his arms away from his chest showing a wolfslair t-shirt.
”But no, you won a match where you pinned a guy who shouldn’t have been in the match then went about telling the world how you were going to beat Fenris and how all I did was bitch and be bit6ter. Hell before that you even brought up WWH and Noah Hanson, an exit of which had NOTHING to do with what happened in the ring. So you can take your stypid little opinions about my tenure in that trashbag dumpster fire of a company and stick them right up your ass Jake.”
“And how did your match go?”
“How was your title reign?.”
“Are you now the unified champion?. Sure, you gave Fenris an impressive beating but in the end he stood tall. He held the titles high and he was the one who got to make history. And see, Fenris said from day fucking one he wanted me, he wanted Austin James Mercer vs Kristjan Baltasarsson. And since he is the champion and has some sway around here, all I would have had to say Jake...is yes…”
“Then that would have been that.”
“Austin vs Fenris and little Jake Raab gets NOTHING…”
He yells the final word and it echoes through the large warehouse gym.
”You do not pass go, you do not collect 200 dollars, you don’t get handed a rematch when you didn’t deserve shit to begin with. But, I said no. I said no because I wanted to get my hands on you and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that without a big bald loser to pin you can’t do a damn thing against me. And, it also gives you a chance to actually EARN something and shows that I want to earn it. Cause I didn’t want to just get handed a title shot on a silver platter because I was pissed off at Christian, Mark and Brooke. No, I wanted to have that match, I wanted to have that chance to destroy you. And I have it. And now here I am qaiting for you to watch my promo and point out every single little thing and counterpoint all of it...since that’s what you do….”
“So, Climax Control 226, live, in front of the world Jake Raab gets a chance to redeem his pitiful performance and prove his Honor title win wasn’t just a coincidental fluke set up by SCW to fuck me over.”
“Now back to reality…”
“This is my chance to beat you, prove my point, prove my worth and earn a shot at Fenris to finally get the match he and I deserve and that the fans deserve. Cause they also lost out because of you, Casey and SCW. But I won’t go quietly into the night, I wont stop fighting injustice and unfair actions...Jake Raab...you’re fucked…”
