Twisted Sister: "Here, birdy! Birdy! Birdy!"
It's been quite awhile since the manaical grappler known as Twisted Sister has had the opportunity to step inside of the ring on her own, and do damage to another SCW Bombshell in singles competition. Until recently, the vast majority of her matches since her return has been under the domain of the tag team division with the Iron Maiden in her corner, and win or lose, both women would run brutal devestation in their wake. But now the scene was shifting, as were the circumstances, because a new Bombshell had recemtly arrived in Sin City Wrestling, and "Hot Stuff" Mark Ward decided to test her mettle and see what she was made of. The best way to accomplish that?
Put Kira Phoenix against his favorite attack animal, that's how!
But even those who were say, mentally unbalanced (IE: crazy as a looney tune!) knew enough that they could not go into the wrestlign ring blindly without even the remotest amount of preparation, so what was a violent lunatic to do? Where would she go to scout her opposition and prepare for giving her newcomer opponent a proper welcome?
Kroger Grocery, of course!
Um, yes. You heard that correctly. Twisted Sister was currently browsing the meat department of the city's local Kroger grocery, staring intently at the random offerings of turkeys and chickens. Her gray eyes were wide and wild, searching for the biggest bird, because big meant tough, and the tougher the preparation, the better prepared she would be!
Butcher: "Can I help you ma'am?"
Twisted Sister: "Yeah! You got any Phoenix? All I see here are chickens and turkeys and .. whatever the hell this is!"
She snarls as she picks a frozen goose up by the end and drops it back into the bunker where the remainder laid, waiting to be bought up for the holiday dinners in the coming weeks. The butcher looked at her like she was nuts (DUH!), but decided it best to be cordial as he was a professional and she was his customer.
Butcher: "Phoenix ... I'm afraid not ma'am."
Twisted Sister turns and stares hard at his and he quickly corrects himself with an explanation so he might avoid an uncpmfortable situation.
Butcher: "They're not in season."
She frowned, not understanding.
Butcher: "Phoenixes are fire birds, so they're season is summer. It's closer to winter so its chickens and turkeys and geese."
She nodded.
Twisted Sister: "That makes sense!"
Butcher: "May I ask what you need a-a Phoenix for?"
Twisted Sister: "I'm glad you asked!"
Twisted Sister wraps an arm around the burly man's ahoulder and drew him in close, then pointed straight ahead at -- nothign at all.
Twisted Sister: "You see that hidden camera?"
Butcher: "Er, no?"
Twisted Sister: Of course you don't!!! Because it's HIDDEN!!! If it was out in the open then the novelty would be ruined for this promo and it would be like those crazies who have to label part of their promos as being on-camera and being off-camera! NOW do you get it!?!?"
Better safe than sorry, the butcher nodded.
Butcher: "Absolutely!"
Twisted Sister: "Good, then explain it to me! No, wait. Don't. These crazy people are always following me with hidden cameras to record my fun times, but this time I want to be serious! I'm in a fight this weekend against a Phoenix, and I need to be ready!"
The poor butcher looks nothing if not totally and completely confused.
Butcher: "O-kay? And you thought if you bought a -- Phoenix, it would help you prepare for...?"
Twisted Sister: "Kira Phoenix! And yes!"
Butcher: "Brilliant!"
Twisted Sister: "I know!"
But the poor butcher just looked like he wanted to get back behind the butcher counter and as far away from this woman as possible! Luckily she released her grip from around his shoulders and her eyes went back down to the poultry.
Twisted Sister: "No Phoenix though, hm!?"
Butcher: "I'm afraid not. But the geese are on sale?"
Twisted Sister: "SOLD!"
Wait, sold? To prepare for a battle against the Bombshell division's newest signee, Twisted Sister purchased a raw goose? How exactly is that meant to help?
Twisted Sister: "Because...!"
In an all new setting, standing in front of a barbeque grill, and clad in a "Bless This Mess" apron and chef hat, Twisted Sister held up the raw goose, aith a picture of Kira Phoenix pinned to it's neck, with one hand...
Twisted Sister: "All a Phoenix is, is another bird! And this birdy..."
And in the other hand, she brought up her propane torch and set the goose on fire!
Twisted Sister: "...is going to BURN!"
She screeched wildly and laughed as the goose went up in flames, as did the photo of Kira Phoenix.
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