"What a girl wants, what a girl needs..."
An ironic song to be playing across the store's sound system, given the nature of this promo and the one who it is for. The patrons of an older generation gaze up from their perusing with a look of annoyance at the song and the artist, while the younger move in rhythm and one small tot practically dances to the music, her heart all a flutter in knowing that, much like the song, one day too her prince would come.
Wait a minute. This is a wrestling promo, right? I mean, that's why we're here?
And ... where exactly is here? Where does one go when in search of answers to the heart's desire?
The door to the Barnes & Noble booksellers franchise store swung open with a hard flourish and in raced a cackling tandem of Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister! The troublesome twosome skidded to a halt, hanging onto one another as their wide eyes searched inside eagerly, paying little to no attention to the wary eyes of both patron and employee alike who watched them with unbridled curiosity; a given considering their leather clad and chained attire, wild hair and even wilder makeup!
An older man, bearing the tag of "Manager" on his pin, and either bravely or foolishly approached the two women and cleared his throat to get their attention. And perhaps much to his discomfort, their heads turned in unison to stare hard at him.
Manager: "Can I help .. you two --erm, ladies?"
Twisted Sister and Iron Maiden stared harder at him, as if waiting for the pun. Twisted Sister leaned over her chum and tag partner, resting her chin on Iron Maiden's shoulder.
Twisted Sister: "Who's he talking to? What ladies?"
To which Iron Maiden whispered back, never once taking her eyes off of the manager who, by now, was starting to shuffle from foot to foot, ready to make a sprint to safety and alert security were it necessary.
Iron Maiden: "I think he means us."
Twisted Sister: "Us? Ladies?"
They again look at the manager and shriek in hysterical laughter and delight before their eyes roamed further inside and they pointed ahead as one.
Together: "TOYS!!!"
Toys? In a book store? Such was the fun dynamic of the Barnes & Noble franchise and the poor sod of a manager was practically shoved into a towering display of New Releases as Twisted Sister and Iron Maiden made a mad dash to the toys and games section! The manager then stood upright and straightened his tie, breathing a sigh of relief -- when the door swung open again, clocking him full on and knocking him into another display!
The books and calendars went flying as Anthrax stood in the door frame, arms held open wide and a smile on his face.
Anthrax: "We're heeeeere!"
And he waltzed right in, calm as a daisy, with the good doctor, Doctor Kraven Moorehead, bringing up the rear. There was certainly no way that he would leave his three patients, er, clients, on their own to wreak havoc and mischief, even if it were in such a relatively innocent setting as a book store.
Anthrax's eyes passed right over the manager who was struggling to get back to his feet with the aid of one of his employees, and Doctor Kraven Moorehead paused just long enough to reassure the employees...
Doctor Kraven Moorehead: "It's quite alright. They don't get out of the hospital much."
Which wasn't entirely true, mind you. It just served as a convenient excuse should the thought of mall security pass through their minds. The funny thing that would be noticed by the average viewer -- especially the random SCW Universe fan? While Iron Maiden and Twisted Sister wore the same wild and colorful makeup and hair colorings that they always did inside of the ring, Anthrax passed relatively normal; save for his studded red and black leather trench coat that extended to his ankles. And unlike his time in the spotlight while inside of the ring or on "company time," he also was without the garish clown makeup that tended to send chills down the spine of many a fan, both young and old.
Truth be told, he was actually considered quite handsome, were it not for the light of madness in his chestnut brown eyes.
Doctor Kraven Moorehead: "Alright my boy, I am certain that we'll find all the answers you need just as soon as we locate the proper section."
An able bodied employee slowly approached, having seen so far what has happened whenever one of these strange 'guests' were approached.
Employee: "Was there ... can I help you find anything?"
Anthrax immediately turned on the bashful act, clasping his hands together in front of his waist and avoiding eye contact with the young woman, while Doctor Kraven Moorehead took control of the situation.
Doctor Kraven Moorehead: "Yes my dear, would you be so kind as to direct us to the relationship advice section?"
Well that was certainly the last place she expected these nut jobs to ask to be escorted to. Her words failed her at first, and after blinking back her startlement, she shook her head and cleared the cobwebs.
Employee: "O-of course sir -- sirs. Right this way."
And she proceeded to personally escort them across the store and through the rows of books perched atop of tables and displays and the many, many book shelves. While they passed through, they heard the telltale call of...
Iron Maiden: "Marco!"
Twisted Sister: "POLO!!!"
Followed by the cackling laughter and something falling over with a crash. Doctor Kraven Moorehead winced, hoping it was not something he would have to pay for the repairs of, when they arrived at their intended destination.
Employee: "Here we are sir, sirs. Any particular subject?"
Doctor Kraven Moorehead: "Well to be honest..."
Anthrax: "What do women want in a man?"
The employee froze again, blinking when Anthrax looked at her shrewdly and pointed an extended finger in her direction.
Anthrax: "You're a woman!"
He quickly turned to confer with Doctor Kraven Moorehead.
Anthrax: "She is, isn't she?"
Doctor Kraven Moorehead: "Indeed she is my boy."
Anthrax: "Ah! I'm having relationship troubles."
Employee: "What's the trouble?"
Anthrax: "She doesn't know she's in one with me yet."
Employee: "I ... see...."
Which was a generous overstatement, because she truthfully did not. At any time the good doctor could have stepped in, but his professional curiosity saw to it that he simply stepped back and allowed the scenario to play out. Anthrax looked from left to right, then leaned in and asked...
Anthrax: "So ... any advice?"
The employee looked to Doctor Kraven Moorehead, but saw no help coming from that direction. This was certainly beyond her rate of pay as well as her expertise. This guy was just plain WEIRD, (of she had no idea!) but she did want to give him customer service above and beyond the ordinary, and who knew? Maybe this would lead her to retaining her seasonal job to full-time.
Employee: "Well...."
And before she even got in a word, Anthrax whipped out a pencil and notepad from SOMEWHERE in his coat. He flipped open the pad and licked the tip of the pencil and looked at her expectantly. The employee fidgeted and cleared her throat, but by now saw she had been backed into a corner so... fuck it. Why not?
Employee: "Well, paying attention to her is always a good start. Maybe surprise her with a gift? Flowers and candy? Women want to feel special, and feel like you're paying attention to them. Talk to her. Ask her how her day went. Maybe find out if she has any hopes and dreams, then ask about those and encourage her to fulfill them. Oh! And always show support! If she complains about her day or how unfair life is, don't question her. Just nod and encourage her and tell her how wonderful she is. And compliment her. That's always important. ladies want to know they're beautiful for their man and for themselves. Tell her that she's pretty, or the clothes she's wearing is. Compliment her hair or makeup...."
The employee leans in to coyly add...
Employee: "Maybe even add a little spice and tell her you weren't aware she is even wearing makeup. It makes her feel even more lovely, even if she tells you that you're full of it. Just don't overdo it and keep on with the compliments until it's just you hearing yourself talking. And as far as looks go, she also wants the man in her life to take care of himself. She wants a man who accomplishes his own hopes and dreams, and looks after himself physically."
She shook her head.
Employee: "Romance isn't an easy thing. It never is so that's why you have to experiment for yourself to find out what works for you and that special lady. Just so long as you listen and pay attention to her, you'll do fine."
The employee smiled, waiting. Anthrax then blinked and shook his head.
Anthrax: "Huh?"
Doctor Kraven Moorehead's Expert Diagnosis: "Ah, young love. It is a marvelous and heart warming thing to behold. Watching as two young lovers destined to spend the remainder of their years together, start their journey from the very beginning to its inevitable climax. And this? This is that very beginning. And we have Cyn Marlowe and Monte Christopher to give our thanks. For you see, if it wasn't for the devious nature of the stunt Cyn and Monte started, in a vain attempt to wreck Samantha Marlowe's wrestling career, then Mister Christopher never would have gotten physical with Samantha, and our dashing hero Anthrax would not have come to her rescue and given the lout such a sound thrashing. Ah, but they did, and he did, did he not?"
"And now, the true journey in togetherness begins. It was endearing at first when my dear boy Anthrax first made his intentions to Samantha clear, but now she stands by her side, showing his full support. As a man should, but that is not something Monte Christopher would know, now is it? And to begin that journey against Cyn and Monte, we have to begin somewhere. And that is what brings us to this little encounter with a familiar face from Ms. Marlowe's past, a Miss Cadence Carter, and a man known aptly as Caleb Storms."
"Now Cadence is familiar to Samantha for a reason, as she is the lady who dethroned our Ms. Marlowe for the Bombshell Roulette Championship. And several times since, Miss Carter has uttered an unkind thing or two in Samantha's direction. Tsk tsk, a tasteless act from one such popular young woman to another. But that is for Samantha to deal with in due course. Our project in the meantime, is against Caleb Storms, a man who has fast proven himself inside of the ring. He, much like Anthrax himself, has had his good times as well as bad when competing. Victories have followed him, and a time or two he has indeed fallen to defeat. But now? Now Caleb finds himself in unfamiliar territory with an unfamiliar tag team partner. Whereas Anthrax is at the side of the woman who holds his heart in the palms of her hands. Quite the advantage, I would say."
"Now while Cadence's championship is not on the line in this unique encounter, a travesty I would have hoped would be corrected but I digress! That leaves Caleb to ,make the attempt to do his part and succeed against Anthrax. It is a daunting task, and one Caleb perhaps feels he is up for, but sadly he is doomed to failure. While the young man who looks to have had a hard life, as he looks at least twice his given age, while he thinks he can support his partner, Anthrax KNOWS he can. Anthrax fights fir the one thing that leads man to fight above all else and fight to win; love."
"And when a man fights for love, all bets are indeed off. All rules are thrown out the window, and Caleb Storms's safety and well being are not guaranteed. Perhaps it would be best were Cadence to find herself a more suitable partner before this Sunday in Reno. After all, he has nothing to offer Ms. Carter, while Anthrax offers Samantha Marlowe the world!"
"A world bathed in the blood of those that would see her harmed."
</color></size>
