[Alice Knight]

 4:00am
It opens on a shot of Alice Knight sitting on an old abandon Australian wharf. She looks depressed. It might be because she lost her debut match in SCW to Cadence Carter. Losing to a dumpster match and losing a number one contender shot at the Bombshell Roulette Championship. Also she could be depressed because it's still a couple of hours until the nearest diner opens up. Who knows.

Alice- Ugh... a dumpster match? I lost a dumpster match? I mean I've woken up in dumpsters most of my life. How could I blow it? Cadence, yes, she is good. But I bet you every dime I have in the world, all seven of them, that she couldn't survive a night in a ol' dumpster. I mean could Cadence steal a crap load of pancakes with a tennis racket from an apartment window and run and hide into a dumpster... or fight off a raccoon over a bunch of pancakes inside a dumpster and win, or or or would she even have the patience to strain those same pancakes through the wires of the tennis racket to see if there were diamonds in them?? I bet she hasn't or couldn't do any of those things. But yes... she was quite impressive in the match though. She knows her way around a dumpster that's for sure. Damn it!! IT! MAKES! ME! SO! MAD!!! ARGH! And what now? Suicide? Or face Trinity Jones? Next week?  Admittedly i'm not the greatest 'wrestler' in the world... i'm more of a like, say, um, a 'fighter' and if I can't win a frigging dumpster match... my own territory like match, how am I going to beat Trinity next week in Sydney? In just a one on one wrestling match. I got to get out of here and stop thinking so much. Focus on my match this week.... Yeah... and get something to eat...

Alice stands up and accidently drops some of the contents of her gym bag on to the wharf. She scatters on her knees to pick them up. She grabs her miniature ant farm, a couple bootleg Scritti Politti CDs, seven dimes, her ring gear, her hygiene products in a zip lock bag, make up kit, an empty jar of mustard and her bus ticket to Sydney. She kisses her ant farm before tucking it into the bag. She feels around her pants.

Alice- Christian Underwood's credie-card!?!?! Oh crap... oh crap... where did it go? Oh no... I hope it's not laying in that pile of dog doo terds.

Alice sees a pile of dog crap nearby. Alice slowly crawls over to the dog poop and closes her eyes as she is about to dig through it when she hears a little 'meow' noise. Alice turns around to see a orange tabby kitten stroll over to her. With a credit card stuck to its back by gum. Alice starts to quietly crawl to the kitten. When she gets close to it, Alice grabs the kitten by the back of the neck and holds it up high. She takes off the credit card and puts it in her pocket.

Alice- Now... what to do with you... I mean do I want to throw you into the water, maybe step on you, cook you up in paprika... nah... you're too small. Plus after losing last night. I don't feel like a laugh. You shall live, kitty. You shall live. Now if I need to go somewhere to eat. All this cat talk is making me super hungry.



Alice gently hugs the kitten and pets it. As someone approaches her from behind.

Stranger- Hey! You gonna eat that, cat?

Alice(startled)- Whaa!?! You scared me mister. I thought you were a hatchet swinging bloody murderer...

The stranger comes into the light revealing he his holding an ax and full of blood over his raggedy clothes. Also dragging a garbage bag behind him.

Alice- See if you were some crazy machete murderer I would run in fear or fight you to the death. But clearly you're a friendly lumberjack who spilled ketchup all over himself while pulling around a bag of dead squirrels...

Stranger- Wow, how did you know that? These squirrels are mine by the way...

Alice- It's fine. I don't want your squirrels, stranger. But to answer your original question... no... no you cannot have this cat. This cat shall live... I'm Alice by the way. Alice Knight. But i'm kind of in a bummed mood.. Cruddy if you will. When this kitten grows up to be a smelly dirty pissing disgusting tom cat... then you can feast on him.

Stranger- I respect a lady with values. You wanna bang behind that dumpster?

Alice- Um. No! Gross... And please don't mention dumpsters. I'm kind of a wrestler, and by kind of i mean i show up at arenas and lose matches. And last night I lost the dumpster match. You only get one chance to make a first impression. And I lost... I'm a total loser.

Stranger- I lose things all the time. My hair, my teeth, lots of dry skin and my hearing. Losing my hearing was disappointing at first. I mean once the ear wax doesn't taste delicious you know you are going deaf. But hey, I didn't sit around and whine like some girl named Alice.  I.E. You! Nope. This stranger just put on a hat, put on a smile, scratch my skin off and eat my ear goop one finger at a time.

Alice- You're making me sick. But you do make an interesting point. I can't just sit here and mope. I'm not a loser... I mean i've been through hell and back... and back and hell. Whatever that means. So what if I've gone from a former world champion in another company to a horrible losing streak... I can't show my weakness to Trinity Jones. I can't let Cadence get the last laugh because she's better at dumpsters than I am... you must be wise beyond your years good sir. Hell, let me buy you breakfast, Stranger... what... are you doing?

The stranger is now digging in the pile of dog poop. Alice looks on with disgust.

Alice- Did you lose your bosses credit card too?

Stranger- Nope...

Alice- Then why are you ... ?

A smiling Stranger at this point begins smelling his fingers covered with dog crap in pure delight.
Alice breaking the fourth wall by looking into the camera. But to the Strangers point of view she is just looking at nothing but a bunch of stacked logs.

Alice- Well gang, looks like it's going to be a CRAZY night! Haha

Alice laughs and winks at the logs, clearly high on something as the Stranger looks at her as if she was insane, meanwhile he is smelling the dog shit off his fingers.

- - - -

SCENE 2 - B&E-4-B&E (Breaking and Entering for Bacon and Eggs)

We see Alice and the Stranger creeping around a Brisbane ol' style looking diner. They rush to the back entrance.

Alice- You sure we should be doing this... I mean I can't have SCW bailing me out of jail my second week in the company. That usually happens months later...

Stranger- No worries, Alice. See... it's easy to get in.

Alice- Is there like a hidden key to let us in? Or a magic word? Open Sesame Seed Bun! Or something along those lines? That be so COOL!

Stranger- NOPE!!!

He uses an old big rock shattering the door window. He then unlocks the door by reaching inside.

Stranger- OPEN HAMBURGER BUN!!

The toothless Stranger laughs as Alice rolls her eyes but as he turns around she chuckles to her self.
They walk inside the door restaurant. Stranger starts flipping out pounding the freezer door.

Stranger- Damn it... fuck sakes... they locked it!!

Alice- Please don't use the lords name in vain...

Stranger- Huh? Sakes?

Alice- Sacks?

Stranger- Who?

Alice- Huh?

An awkward few seconds takes place as they stare at each other with confused looks.

Alice- ... okay! We can just cook up and eat those squirrels...

Stranger- You can COOK the squirrel meat?

Alice- YES! I CAN! You will wash your hands before you do anything...

Stranger- Miss proper...

Alice- Guy, you were playing in dog shit not more than 20 minutes ago... wash your hands.

Stranger- Fine. Fine.

Alice sighs as she digs through his garbage bag while the Stranger washes his hands.

Stranger - What's wrong Alice, my dear?

Alice- It's just this match I have coming up. I kind of need a big win. But going up against Trinity Jones won't be easy. The only luck I may have is the fact that she hasn't been in the ring in a little bit. So if she's ring rusty then that should benefit myself. I mean it's so hard to come down off such a high. In the last wrestling organization I participated in. I was like the queen bee. Only more cute... and less frightening... the only thing I actually have in common with the bees are the stripes?

Stranger- Some call me the human skunk because I spread my stink around and get hit by cars a lot...

Alice- We... were talking about me... about MY match with Trinity Jones? Remember? I mean in the last place I worked everyone loved me, besides the other wrestlers of course, but the fans. Oh the fans. Such sweet kids and adults. They loved me, they really did love me. I got to sign autographs and make money, visit them at hospitals and make money. Hell, I saw some kid take one of those seizer fits infront of me. Puking up foam or whatever. And I didn't even laugh... much. I had an apartment before the hurricane Irma Elba destroyed everything. Thankfully I got signed with SCW. But, it's like, starting over you know? Trinity is also looking for that big return win. It's so frustrating.

Stranger- Just relax, girl. Focus on the meat...

Alice- Where did you get these squirrels? Are these road kill squirrels or dumpster found squirrels?

Stranger- Does it matter...?

Alice(turning to him with a firm gesture)- Look. If it's road kill meat wither it be skunk, raccoon, dog or yes squirrels... it has a chance that the meat is rotten from laying there weeks on end. Unless you hit the animal with your own car then we can confirm it's freshness... dumpster animals are easier to feed of off. Because dumpsters get cleaned up. Use your brain, Stranger... by the way what's your name? I feel so rude... I didn't ask yet...

Stranger- Oh... it's Stray Ger. And thanks for asking.

Alice(confused)- Oooo-kay then. So... dumpster squirrels?

Stray Ger- Yes...

Alice- Good... bah... (Alice throws down the dead squirrel torso on the counter.) Freaking dumpsters. I still can't believe I lost a damn dumpster match. Cadence... Cadence Carter is probably gloating right now drinking Champaign, eating real breakfast like eggs and moose bacon. Probably inside a gold covered dumpster too. Her and me? Me and her? Her and I? We're not through yet. Even if i have lose again to meet her again, we will. Anyway... she's the past. Trinity is the future. And so is defuring these little dead creatures. Don't worry, the best way to cook and de-fur the rodent is to do it angry and upset. Skinning the animal is great too because the fur and especially the tail can make a great pelt... socks, hats, underwear. It's great. Looks great too. And plus they are sweat absorbent. You should save the furs, Stray. Next you field dress the little squirrel. Here, you can do this part. Because you're already full of... ketchup, right?

Alice looks at Stray suspiciously after handing the furless squirrel to him.

Stray- Of course... ketchup... (under his breath)... human ketchup...

Alice- Okay... now just dig out the things digestive system with that spoon over there. Yep. Get the stomach, the intestines and of course the crapper all have to come out. You don't want to be eating any of that. My friend Ferguson apparently makes a hell of a soup with those 'extras' but it's not for me.

Stray Ger- You should make a meal for this Cadence girl. Or heck, even your opponent this week... her name is... errrr?

Alice- Trinit-

Stray Ger(cutting her off)- TRINITY! Got there at the same time, maybe even first ...

Alice- Right. It's no a bad idea Stray. But i don't think any of these girls want to be my friend. I mean, yes i do disgusting things. But i take care of myself. I clean up pretty damn good. I mean when i do get money its usually for REAL food and REAL clothing items. Like squirrel skin undies may be comfortable but i'm more of a satin or lace or hell even ol' cotton kind of girl. Anything but squirrel under wear is what I'm trying to say. But Cadence and most likely Trinity look at me like i'm a worthless piece of dung. But i'm more than dung, Stray... i'm a human being. A person. Just as normal kind of woman as they we can be ... not turn on the burner, Stray. Let's roast up these dead squirrels.  Let them burn. Crispier the better.

Stray turns on the oven burner and throws a couple of squirrels on it. As Alice moves to a table in the dark empty diner.



Stray Ger- Cool... smells good... Alice. Can't wait to eat it. Now if we only had cheese to go with it... I love my cheese.

Alice- One day, Stray. I will teach you my own cheese recipe. One day. But I need to eat these squirrels, catch my bus, throw up all the meat on the bus and when in Sydney... train my ass off for my match with Trinity. Squirrel meat vomiting is good for you by the way. The meat gives you energy and nutrition and the puking helps stop creating a tape worm inside you and likely dying of food poisoning. Plus it keeps you thin. Bonus!! But yeah. Hopefully Sydney has a wicked gym. Because if I am going to make a statement in Sin City Wrestling. If I am going to make some kind of noticeable impact, here in SCW. It needs to be at Climax Control 194 against Miss Trinity Jones. I have to win it. This is my moment. Scratch off my first debut from last week. This is my second debut. This debut matters the most.

Stray Ger(mouth full of squirrel)- TRINITY IS GOING DOWN!!!!

Alice(laughing)- Well I hope so anyway... hey save some for me...

Alice runs behind the counter where Stray is eating. And the two munch down on dead COOKED squirrel meat. The scene fades.


No Animals Were Harmed During this Sin City Wrestling Production.

Other than the garbage bag of dead squirrels, of course. Duh.

The end?