[Celeste]

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<marquee>Crystal Visions - Rock Goddess Crystalline North</marquee>


The scene opens up inside of the green room of a studio.  The cameras and lighting are in full view as Crystalline North sits in a comfortable leather chair with a glass of water in her hand.  She is wearing a black shawl over a long black dress, with her blonde hair feathered slightly, just as she had done in the olden days.  She takes a sip from her water as she prepares to speak once more.

Crystalline:  People keep asking me about my daughter.  This is a true change from what I’m used to, I’m afraid.  I’m guessing that she caused some waves over in the Sin City Wrestling organization, because everyone is calling her these awful names.  I gotta admit that the names have crossed my mind a time or two, but I’m not really sure what caused all of this.  I don’t approve of violence, unless it is a last resort.

Off-screen Interviewer:  I might be able to shed a bit of light on the subject matter.  Celeste has recently joined up with the most hated faction in wrestling history, The Mean Girls.

Crystalline:  Ohhhh!  Her two new beautiful friends?  And the other one, Angelica?  Mercedes is such a beauty, and every time she talks, I feel like I’m about to order margaritas from Tortilla Republic Weho… And Veronica Taylor, the gorgeous supermodel who danced in one of my many platinum selling single’s music video.  I just don’t understand why people hate them so much.  They are true American treasures.  Even Angelica, who just kinda sits there.  I mean, I don’t have one mean thing to say about the Mean Girls except I wish they wore more black.

Crystalline smiles as she takes another sip of her water before sitting the glass back down on the nearby end table.

Interviewer:  How about the rumor of one Daxton Oliver Beckett taking root in your home?

Crystalline:  Why, there were many a night where I had to sleep on someone’s couch.  Granted, I didn’t sleep in their daughter’s bed, keeping mama awake with loud sex noises at all hours of the night, but I understand the gypsy lifestyle.  I almost once wrote a song about it, until a certain “Prima-Belladonna” beat me to the punch.  I can admire and respect a man who has seen just as much of the world as I have.  Plus, can you imagine if I did disapprove of the boy?  Celeste would only jump further into his arms.  Much like I did with her daddy.  It wasn’t until my parents finally accepted the fact that I was in love with a tattooed pig-man that I started to realize that the constant odor surrounding him was, in fact, not the dog…  My point is that she could do a lot worse.  At least this one seems driven to make something of himself, unlike the last one.  Goddess only knows that I couldn’t take on another grandchild when I don’t even look old enough to be a mom…

Crystalline chuckles as she places her hand to her chest much like a true southern belle.  She blushes slightly at her own flattery as she removes a strand of hair from her face.  After taking up her glass of water for one more sip, she allows it to rest ornamentally in her hand as she addresses the camera once more.

Crystalline:  All I can say is that, I’m not so innocent myself.  I’ve had some wild times.  I’ve been a real bitch in my day.  As surprising as it might be to hear, I used to be a real mean girl, so I’m not too surprised that Peaches has taken up with these treats.  I mean, Mercedes Vargas is possibly the sweetest person ever.  A little known fact, back in the mid-nineties, she attended one of my concerts in Argentina, and I picked her to come on stage to sing “Successions of Ideas, Images, Emotions, and Senses”, and she passed out on stage.  Poor things… Anyway, my point is that I don’t see these ladies as bad people.  I see them as driven women in a society that screams for gender equality, yet cries out against truly equal treatment.  Mama Crystalline approves of the Mean Girls, and not just because my daughter is a member, but because these girls are as rock star to wrestling as I am to being a rock star.  As they say these days, all the *air quotes* thirsty haters, can *air quotes* suck it... Mean Girls ain’t going nowhere, pumpkin…  No time soon.

Crystalline smirks and lets the audience know that she knows the plight of the Mean Girl, and she supports them to the end, which is going to be a long, long way away……….



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The Arrival
#NP "MANiCURE” by Lady Gaga
Mean Girls Clubhouse; Beverly Hills, California


Well that was fun.  The whole making people think that I was actually going to get my ass kicked by the Mean Girls, AGAIN, when actually I talked the Mean Girls into turning on Delia FUCKING Darling, taking her place on SCW’s throne of Queen Bitch, thing… I mean, to be honest, I wasn’t sure if they were going to play me, but what was the worst that they could have done?  Knocked me out again?  Yawn!  Boring!  The trick was to let them get bored with me, and then refuse to let them leave me alone, which left them only one choice… to hear me out.  They had to eventually see that Delia was only riding on their meager successes, and then yelling at them for not pulling their own weight.  She was a hypocrite, which is no surprise to the rest of the world, because duh, we already fucking knew that.  But they were so blinded by what she’s done in 2015, and not what she’s doing, or not doing, in 2017.  So, I helped them along a bit, and still wasn’t sure they were biting.  But, people don’t give these ladies credit.  They aren’t nearly as stupid as people try to make them out to be.

So anyway, We had this whole idea to do a huge in ring promo about why I turned my back on people, or how it was actually the fact that everyone had turned their back on me, but due to extenuating circumstances, we weren’t all able to be in Chicago… boring, yawn… So after Climax Control, we made our way back to Beverly Hills, where Veronica Taylor, Mercedes Vargas, and Angelica… whatever her last name is… blindfolded me and took me to an undisclosed location.  My guard was up and on full blast the entire time, because there was a good chance I was going to get beat down, but I took a chance and went for the ride.  My fears are put to ease when I hear the sound of a doorman, followed by the ding of an elevator.  Apparently wherever we were going required two different elevators, but we went with it, and soon after, we walk down a long hallway.  This place is super undisclosed, and super private.  Yeah, I’m getting beat down for real.  So we get to the door, and they unlock it, leading me inside, and I smell glue and Juniper Breeze, but unfortunately more of the first than the latter.

Me:  Are we sniffing glue?  I gotta tell you ladies, I definitely had the wrong impression of you.

Angelica:  Like, shut up already.  You’re ruining the surprise.

Me:  The last time I heard that, I wound up at the police station a few hours later, filing an assault report against my old dealer and his cousin…

Veronica:  Ughhhhuhhhh…

A few steps into the building, and I feel them grab onto my arms.  I grit my teeth and then I let out a very loud, and weird sounding “Ki-AW!” sound as I cross chop Angie right in the face.  I rip the mask off as she holds onto her jaw, whimpering slightly.  I look around as Mercedes and Veronica just blink wildly.  There are two men standing on a ladder, holding onto a piece of paper, but their eyes are trained on me.

Me:  There will be no party tonight, fellas!  But these girls are about to get their asses kicked right here in… the Mean Girls Clubhouse?  Wait, that’s a real thing?

Veronica:  Um, yeah, and you’re welcome…

Mercedes:  We come here when we need to unwind a little.  It’s nice and relaxing.  And if you go through that door there, we have an actual telethon broadcasting on meangirlsbutnotthegirlongirlpornsitemeangirls.net.  Also a real thing.

Angelica:  And through that other door, there is a makeup artist standing by in case someone accidentally gets punched, or chopped, in the face.  So, I’m definitely going there now…

I nod my head, acting like such a thing is actually normal, even though I’m pretty sure they know it’s not, and they know that I know it’s not.  Instead, I turn my head to look at the “art wall” which literally has a sign above it that labels it as such.  There are pictures of Mercedes, Angelica, Veronica, and Holly Wood, looking pretty and popular, with Mad Maxxine in tow.  Don’t feel bad for not remembering the latter, because most people don’t.  I just might have to change that.  Then, we have my picture, which almost actually offends me, because it says “Homeschooled Jungle Freak” crossed out with vigorous strokes of a sharpie.  Then, there are defiled pictures of Tessa Flannigan, and Liz Smalls, but Delia’s picture sits at the end… un-defiled.  I scoff until Mercedes hands me a sharpie.

Me:  Awww… you guys are so sweet.

Mercedes:  Let it out, honey.  Put it in the book… or the wall, as the case may be.

Me:  Gretchen… Hang on, does that make you Karen, Veronica?

Veronica:  Who is Karen?  That name is so basic.

Me:  Yeah…. I think…

However, I tuck the marker into my purse, because now just isn’t the time.  Just like the rest of the wrestling world, I’m ready to push Delia Darling out of my mind.  Oh, that’s a good one.  I should say that out loud so they chuckle.

Me:  Now just isn’t the time… Just like the rest of the wrestling world, I’m ready to push Delia Darling out of my mind.

And they chuckle.  Mercedes even gives me a high five.  Her and Veronica carry me over toward another room which is apparently labeled “Ready Room”, and they drag me through the door.  I cry out at them.

Me:  What am I getting ready for?  The two painters?

I ask with such urgency.  However, they laugh because they think it’s a joke, but I’m legit scared for a minute.  They shove me into a chair and put on the radio to play “MANiCURE” by Lady Gaga.  In fact, we go into a montage as they smear lipstick on my lips in tune with the music,  then they spray perfume on my neck.  Then they slip my Louboutin heels on my feet and lean me back in the chair and rinse my hair, before curling it.  They lift me up with curlers in my hair as we dance along to the music as we pick out a new dress to wear while effectively loosening my hips.  As they peel the current rags from me, they then slip the slinky dress on and throw on a set of pearls, and earrings that fit the look.  Then they walk me to the door once again, clicking the stereo off as I look at them strangely.

Me:  What the actual fuck was that?

Veronica:  That was a standard getting ready for a promo montage video.  Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it eventually.

Me:  God, I hope not.

As we walk out to the living area, I’m surprised to see Mz. Holly Wood seated with a cameraman ready to record.  I smirk, because this is the part that I have been sincerely looking forward to since I found out who I was facing this week.  She motions for me to take the fuzzy pink seat adjacent to her.  While I normally like to defy any and everybody, any chance I get, I give in and take my seat.  Holly adjusts her LaFawnduh chestnut brown wig and her gold and black dress.

Me:  What are you wearing?  Is this 2003 Throwback Thursday?  No, sweetie.  This is 2017!

Holly:  Excuse the hell outta me, gorrrrrlllll, but Detroit theme only leaves a Queen with the choice of LaFawnduh, Gene Simmons, and a gunshot crack whore victim.  Cut me some slack.  But I like the attitude.  She gonna do just fine, y’all…

Holly nods her head and then turns to the camera.

Holly:  Hey SCW Universe, it’s ya girl Holly, Mz. Wood if you nasty.  I’m joined here with the latest addition to my old alma mater, Mean Girls, Celeste North.

Me:  South if you nasty, am I right?!

Holly:  Errrrkayrmmmm?  So the SCW Universe wanna know… Why you done that?

Me:  Can I just shit talk Crystal already?  I mean, I got so much to say, and I gotta admit, I’m about to explohhhh-Crystal looks like she’s always smelling rotten cheese!  Like, what the fuck is up with that?!

Holly again nods her head, but this time, much slower like she’s not sure what’s happening.  I cover my mouth like it was an accident, but it definitely was not an accident.  She does look like someone farted right in her face, though…

Holly:  Well, usually, the former Queen B of the Mean Girls liked to let her thoughts be known on everybody.  Like, a quick rundown of some of the top names of the Bombshell Division.  Like, for instance, what about the Bombshell Roulette Champion?

Me:  Jessie… what is there to say about her.  She’s like an annoying gnat that, no matter how hard you try to swat her away, she just sticks around.  I mean, she’s not a threat.  She’s not a great talent, but I give her an A for effort, because no matter how badly she fucking sucks, she just doesn’t throw in the towel.  It’s admirable in a way.

Holly:  What about Mikah?  Pretty impressive win at Blaze of Glory, right?

I shrug my shoulders.  I’m already bored of talking about the other ladies, but I figure I’ll go ahead and keep up the game, all while waiting to drop the bombshell, as if I were a child anxiously awaiting Santa Claus on December 24th.

Me:  I mean, outside of the ladies in this room right now?  Mikah could actually be the greatest threat.  And by greatest threat, I mean because she’s the bland version of a certain former leader.  Her performance was decent, but by SCW standards, it seemed amazing.  I gotta tell you though, I would have been impressed if Polly wasn’t such a pushover.

Holly:  Arrogance sure ain’t lost on this one, hun-tee!  Moving up the line.  How about Melo…

I put my hand in her face and shake my head.  There is a little bit of a fire in my eyes, but not in the way one might think.  I continue to shake my head slowly as Veronica and Mercedes look at me curiously.

Me:  I’m going to say this one time, and one time only.  The fact that I’m saying it is a gift, because it is something that is so obvious that it really doesn’t need to be said.  Our Bombshell Champion, is not even on my radar.  She’s not on anybodies radar, because she’s going to be, quite frankly, an even more boring version of Mikah, that no one is going to care about or even attempt to target.  Considering Mikah is just a bland version of Delia Darling, it’s like watering down a watered down version of something that already existed.  She’s boring and she’s trifled.  There are only two people who don’t realize that, and it’s her husband, and her.  Nobody gives an actual fuck about “She-who-shall-not-be-named”.  She’ll keep that belt for a very long time, but it will be meaningless, because the longer she holds it, the more trifled that belt becomes.  No one will want to try against someone who says one thing, does another, and then says something else entirely.  Call it a mind game, but I call it total confusion on her part, and that translates to a poor business move on SCW’s part.  But hey… she earned it, right?  By tricking our then-World Heavyweight Champion into marrying her?  Right.  I, much like most of the Bombshell Roster, do not have our sights set on her.  It might sound cruel, but it’s a cold, hard, plastic fact.

Holly:  But, what about the fact that she…

Me:  No comment…

Holly sucks her teeth, making a loud popping noise that echoes throughout the entire living room area.  She bobs her head in surprise as she raises an eyebrow at me.  Not because of my disrespect to her, but because of my outright disrespect to our… heh… “champion”...

Holly:  Okay, so how about Mrs. Millar?  Y’all used to be friends, right?

Me:  Some might have seen it that way.  As a matter of fact, I was one of the people who did, up until I outlived my usefulness.  See, I’m a woman of action.  I do things, instead of suggesting things.  I see them through instead of bitching until things magically go away.  I nearly got Mikah to get fired until she got her drinking problem under control.  Crystal just sees opportunities to snake her way around.  She slithered up mine and Natalie’s backs as she worked her way up to being a champion, and then she dropped us both like a bad habit.  I didn’t see or hear from her for the months that I was gone from the company, assisting another former friend through some hard times.  Then, I come back, and I win a title, and then suddenly I’m good enough to talk to again, because I’m starting to become a “Somebody”.  I bought it for a minute.  I did.  But, that was until I needed a friend, and everyone that I turned to, turned me down.  My supposed friends, who I would have killed for, didn’t have time to help me.  Three people struck me down, and Crystal was one of them.

I snap my fingers, because I’m getting pissed off, and I need something to drink, because this is going to be a neverending bitch fest, I can already tell.

Me:  Crystal told me, if I ever needed anything, she would help me.  I’m a proud woman.  I don’t want, nor do I need help, like ever.  Well, when Delia turned on me, I needed someone.  I tried to reach out to her, but all I got was radio silence.  I wasn’t important enough.  I truly thought that I was a “Nobody” all over again, except this time, I was a Nobody by myself.  And Crystal made me feel that way.  But, since she’s on one of her bi-polar kicks right now, where she’s kissing the asses of the fans, we’re all going to choose to ignore it.  But, whatever.  It’s no skin off my back.  I’m used to watching the blind lead the blind, and laughing my ass off as they all walk off a cliff to their impending doom.  Alexis and Tim Staggs have already seen the demise of their careers.  Crystal will get hers eventually.  But, I want to savor it.  I want to see her go through all of the pain of being alone, reaching out for anyone who will listen, only to never find it.  I want her to see how it feels, and then I want her to feel it even more.  I want her to see what I went through, and why I chose the path that I chose, to end up where I’m at, so that she can see how she practically shoved me right into the Queen B throne in this swank Mean Girls Clubhouse.  I’m ruling an empire, now, all while she’s chasing the supposed dream.

Holly goes to speak, but I shake my head, letting her know that I’m nowhere near finished.  I take a sip of the mineral water placed before me, before putting the cap back on and setting it at my side.  I clasp my hands in front of me as I look straight into the camera.

Me:  Crystal… you and I were friends, inside and out of this company.  I know things about you that you wouldn’t dare me to speak out loud.  I also know what kind of a person you are.  You crave validation from others.  You rely on them to tell you that you’re as good as you think you are.  The sad part is that you are good.  But, you’re a waste.  Instead of fighting for the fans, you should be fighting for yourself.  You had the hearts of the fans, and then you said “Fuck you” to them all.  Then, you recanted, and said it was all a mistake.  You are making me dizzy, and I’m not the only one.  While you make up your mind on where you stand, just know… you don’t have to fight for their adoration.  We all know that you don’t actually want it.  You just feel like you have to have it, because that’s what determines your worth.  The sooner you forget that, the sooner you might be able to sit at the big girl’s table, where the party really is.  I mean, as much as I hate to admit it… you were kind of always meant to be a Mean Girl.

Holly:  Whoa, wait… are you inviting Crystal into the Mean Girls?  After you just trashed her so heavily?

I smirk and nod my head, letting Holly know that she’s on the right track here.

Holly:  So, are you saying that you don’t want to fight Crystal?

Me:  Oh, Goddess, no… I want to obliterate her ass inside of that ring.  I want to take out every moment of torment that she put me through.  I want to put her in her place, and make her realize that, while she’s got the potential to actually be great, even in the new rising of the Mean Girls 2017, she’s got to respect me… us.  I might take it easy on Crystal if she bows down to me and pledges herself to Mean Girls.  And, by take it easy, I mean I might call off my girls at ringside when they come to swarm her for all of the nasty things she’s said and done to them.  I’m not going to take it easy on Crystal on Sunday, but her answer to my call will determine a lot when it comes to her future in SCW.  As a matter of fact, any and all Bombshells should heed my warning.  Stay on our good side, because unlike the former “leader” of Mean Girls… I’m relentless, and I don’t give a flying fuck about manners and etiquette.  I’m a thirsty bitch, and I’ll fuck anybody up who gets in our way.  Crystal will just be an example of that, come Sunday.

Holly:  Now them’s fightin’ words right there, Celeste.  You and Crystal get to open up the show as this long-awaited rivalry comes to a head.  Tune in on Sunday, April 9th, 2017, to see the action live from Detroit!

Me:  Thank you…

I unfold my hands as I stand up from my chair.  I look over to Mercedes, Veronica, and Angelica, as they all stare intensely at me.  I slowly shrug my shoulders as I stare at them, waiting for some kind of a negative response.  However, they clap and squeal in approval as they welcome me inf or a hug.  Holly even joins in as they tell me how great I was.  It’s all good, because just as it will be in the ring on Sunday, I know how great I am.  All I have to do is prove it...