[Steve Ramone]

 In what has become a running gag at this point the SCW Roulette Championship changed hands once again two weeks ago at Blaze of Glory VI where Steve was the one who emerged victorious from the Inferno Elimination Match finally eliminating Ryan Keys to take back the title and join fellow GWA alumni Goth as the only three time Roulette Champions in the company’s history, it didn’t take long for challengers to start lining up either as both James Tuscini and Xander Bishop tried to stake a claim to a title shot via Twitter but Mark Ward had other ideas.

This week SCW was emanating from Chicago for the first time and in the main event Steve would defend his title for the first time but not against Tuscini or Xander, rather he would defend the title against the very man he beat to win the title for the first time and the man who took the title from him in the first place just before the New Year, that’s right, Ryan Keys was set to be Steve’s first challenger, both men had a lot of history with each other but Steve was on a roll at the moment and was determined to not have another title reign end prematurely but can Steve end the trend of the Roulette Title being a hot potato?

Lincoln Park Zoo, Chicago, Illinois
Friday the 31st of March 2017, 11:00am

How did I get talked into this?

No, I’m not talking about my third Roulette Title Reign, let’s face it, my second one should’ve been a lot longer, I’m talking about this trip to the zoo! Kaylee’s still off filming her porno and won’t be back in the US until after this week’s Climax Control so it hasn’t left me with a lot of options for me to pass the time between now and the first Climax Control since Blaze of Glory VI and since I’m in an unfamiliar city Cyrus and Andreas took it upon themselves to do a Google Search for things to do in Chicago.

Literally, that was the exact wording of the Google Search!

After arguing for a bit, we agreed to go to the zoo, why? I don’t know, maybe it’s an early April Fools prank and you know, it’s funny that April Fool’s Day next year will fall on what will hopefully be a Climax Control date because you just know that the antics on that day will be hilarious.

Speaking of April Fools, how many of you were hoping that it was an early prank when they heard that I won the Roulette Title again? Come on, be honest, but no, unfortunately for you I am the Roulette Champion again joining fellow GWA alumni Goth as the only three-time Roulette Champions in the company’s history and no, I’m not going to stop bragging about it even if Ryan Keys steals the title from me again!

Oh yeah, there’s that too.

You know what should’ve been an early April Fool’s Day prank? Ryan Keys getting yet another underserved shot against me! What’s that? He came this close to beating me at Blaze of Glory in, appropriately enough, an Inferno Elimination Match but how does that old saying go? “Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades”! Any of the other competitor in the match would’ve been a better challenger for my belt, hell Travis was the champion going into the match so how does Ryan get a shot over him?

Oh right, because he’s Christian’s new boy-toy.

I’ll go into more detail about this when I start my trash talk but like I said earlier, me, Cyrus and Andreas are at a local zoo just chilling out and being bored out of my mind.

“I told you we should’ve stayed at the hotel room.” I commented as I sat down on the bench, we were near the Gorilla Enclosure after we just walked past the lion enclosure and since there isn’t a gorilla called Harambe in the closure I doubt they’ll be any dead gorillas today. “But no, you had to drag me out to the zoo!”

“It was your idea to come out here in the first place.” Cyrus responded as he folded his arms and Andreas continued to watch the lions. “Not your fault that the one we could only agree on was the zoo.”

“Cyrus, if I wanted to watch bored animals I’d look them up on YouTube, at least then I wouldn’t have to go anywhere.” I responded and Cyrus shook his head in response before Andreas walked over. “Where haven’t we been anyway?”

“We’ve been to the reptile enclosure, we just past the lion enclosure and the gorilla enclosure is just over there.” Andreas responded as he consulted a nearby map. “After the lion enclosure we’ve got the crocodile enclosure and the elephant enclosure.”

“I wonder if we’ll see Belinda Warrick in the Elephant Enclosure.” I joked and they gave me a dirty look. “Oh, come on! It’s funny!”

“No, no it’s not.” Cyrus responded bluntly before sighing. “I guess our next stop is the gorilla enclosure, after that it’s a toss-up between the crocodile and elephant enclosures as to where we’ll go next, what do you guys think?”

“I think that coming out here was a waste of time.” I muttered under my breath and they ignored me.

“I’ve always liked elephants so I guess we’ll go there.” Andreas responded before they turned to me. “So, do you want to do your promo now and let the cameraman enjoy some time at the zoo?”

“Yeah sure, I’ll do my promo in front of the gorilla enclosure.” I responded with a shrug and besides, I already had a good idea for some trash talk whilst I was there, after a few minutes we stood up and walked over to the gorilla enclosure where I leaned on the railing and folded my arms. “I wonder if the ghost of Harambe is down there?”

“That joke only works if we’re at Cincinnati Zoo.” Cyrus pointed out and I shook my head in response though I couldn’t help but chuckle when I saw that one of the gorillas had taken an interest in me. “I wonder if the zoo keepers have been showing them clips of your matches.”

“Depending on who you ask that could be considered animal cruelty.” Andreas chimed in and I rolled my eyes in response.

“Laugh it up guys, we all know that I’m the best wrestler on the SCW roster anyway.” I responded before turning to them. “Anyway, you guys go on ahead, I’ll meet you at the crocodile enclosure.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Cyrus nodded in response before he and Andreas walked off, I retrieved my Roulette Title from my backpack and slung it over my shoulder so that I could get ready for my promo.

“Blaze of Glory VI has come and gone for those who missed it……” I trailed off as I dusted off the Roulette Championship. “The Roulette Championship is back where it belongs, over my shoulder, around my waist, wherever I decide to wear it, it’s mine and quite fittingly I beat the man who took the title from me in the first place to win it back, that’s right, I’m talking to you Ryan Keys!”

I said before frowning.

“And any sane wrestling promoter would’ve put me up against fresh competition for my first defense but I think his failed attempt at splitting up the Metal and Punk Connection proves that Christian Underwood is not a sane man! So instead Ryan gets another underserved shot against me for the Roulette Title and you know, I’d almost ask just what Ryan did to earn a title but then I remembered that he’s Christian’s new boy-toy!”

It’d be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic.

“And so here I am, in the main event of the first ever Climax Control to emanate from the city of Chicago as I defend the Roulette Title against an underserving Ryan Keys, what’s that? He almost had me beat at Blaze of Glory? News flash genius, “almost” only counts in horseshoes and hand-grenades and I don’t think Ryan has any horseshoes handy! What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, how I’m going to kick Ryan’s ass to the back of the line where he belongs!”

Seriously, where’s my fresh competition?

“Rather than describe how I’m going to kick your ass Ryan I’m going to use my environment to describe it.” I said before motioning with my head to the gorilla enclosure sign that was right next to me. “Now a couple of years ago, a gorilla was shot and the internet lost its shit, “dicks out for Harambe” they’d cry, it’s just a fucking gorilla, said anyone with any common sense in response to that nonsense! What I’m getting at is that Ryan stands just as much a chance of beating me again as Harambe has of coming back!”

Just as soon as I finished saying that one of the gorillas in the closure threw it’s poop hitting me square in the back off the head, I wasn’t happy.

“I’m going to have to shower for hours just to get this shit out of my hair.” I muttered under my breath before glancing back at the enclosure, I couldn’t see the offending gorilla but if it was the gorilla that spotted me I’d laugh. “Anyway, back on topic and, I can’t believe I’m saying this, it’s good that that gorilla threw shit at my head because that demonstrates just how bad Ryan is at wrestling, sure he can do the flippy shit but actually wrestling? I don’t think so!”

Yes, I realize that one of my finishers is the flippiest of shit.

“Long story short, history won’t repeat itself and I’m walking out of Chicago having won my first defense, something that none of the previous three champions can claim! Ryan, you may want to win back the title from me and go into your second reign in your career and as Roulette Champion but as far as I’m concerned that’s not happening, the only thing that’ll happen at the end of Climax Control on Sunday is that I am going to retain the title!”

And with that I decided to wrap things up.

“Dicks out for Harambe! Err, no, how about “tits out for your new Roulette Champion!” Ryan, this past Supercard Cycle might have seen more Roulette Title Changes than most but this Supercard Cycle is going to be different because I have one goal in mind! In May this year’s Into The Void is emanating from my home city of New York City and I have one goal in mind for that event, I’m walking into this year’s Into the Void as Roulette Champion and Christian’s boy-toy won’t stop me! This message has been paid for and delivered by “The Fearless Champion” Steve Ramone, the Roulette Champion the fans deserve!”

I walked off as the scene fades.