What better place than Santa Rosa, California for the opening of A&E's new reality show called *Mental Moments*. The show, featuring Sin City's very own Sean Jackson, is set at the location of the Redwood Empire Ice Arena, on August 3rd of 2014.
As the scene kicks off with "In The Air Tonight" by Phil Collins, thousands of people are shown filing in. But as the screen splits, Sean Jackson is seen walking through a wooded area, a look of total concentration on his face. As the camera pans back, his own voice over breaks the silence.
v/o: "I'm not here to make friends, I'm not even here to entertain the fans. I'm here because Mark Ward can make me a very wealthy man, and wealth, is the only thing that matters."
Being from Texas, Sean is wearing cowboy boots, blue jeans, and his logo Hot Stuff international tee shirt. Sure he enjoyed his moment as ACW world heavyweight champion, sure he enjoyed the moment of injuring Drake Green. But one thing he completely understood....
Mark Ward had big plans for him. Big plans indeed.
v/o: "But if I get the opportunity to beat a few people up in the process, then so be it."
The scene quickly shifts to a montage of video clips involving Sean Jackson in SCW. As that montage slows to a halt, there is one final voice over.
v/o: "That's why I'm Sean Jackson, and you aren't."
August 3, 2014
Santa Rosa, California
Redwood Empire Ice Arena
Words just couldn't do it justice. As the thousands of SCW fans made their way inside, the electricity was utterly remarkable. It had a slight pay per view feel to it, but that was because so much was still at stake, even after Into The Void 3 was in the books. But as always, it's that fleeting moment with Justin Decent, standing there in the middle of the ring, bringing the microphone to his mouth, that REALLY sends the rabid fans into a frenzy....
As he does, the screen splits again and there is Sean Jackson, putting his own spin to the equation.
Jackson: "Yep, there's nothing like it. You're standing there, in the back, and you know they're about to go nuts. You know that they're going to erupt into a rage that everyone else will feed off of. That professional stars like me THRIVE on."
Justin: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Santa Rosa, California, and welcome to Climax Control."
Of course, the crowd cheers. It's a cheap pop, but a pop none the less. As Sean enters the arena, he can't help but feel the chill bumps on his arms. Even though he's a veteran of the ring wars, he still gets them, every wrestler gets them.
As Amanda Hugginkiss is introduced, Sean turns away, not wanting to pay any attention to her at all. It's nothing personal, it's just that he hates everyone not in HSI.
Again, the screen splits and Sean Jackson is pictured.
Jackson: "At least it wasn't Showtime. I can handle the obnoxious crap from a woman who thinks she can sing, as opposed to an obnoxious piece of crap who thinks that he can wrestle...."
There is that moment of awkward silence. Well, at least until Sean puts together his own response.
Jackson: "Yes, I was referring to Drake Green."
Another awkward silence is broken by a shrug and....
Jackson: "What?"
More silence...
Jackson: "What?"
The A&E camera switches from the split screen and concentrates fully on the backstage area. As Belinda Simone and Jason Adams begin to run down the card, their voices begin to trail off as the shot focuses strictly on the Mental Rapist. As a professional wrestler, there is nothing more important than readiness, than to seize the moment. For this episode of Climax Control, there wouldn't be multiple Sean Jackson segments, segments where the A&E Network could cherry pick what it wanted, discarding the rest. No, tonight's Climax Control would have one segment of Sean Jackson. So it had to be nailed, and nailed just right.
Well that was the plan anyway. But it didn't have to be that way. There were plenty of opportunities for Sean Jackson to be shown. Hell, how about the first segment?
Once again, Sean Jackson becomes the focal point. Why not? this IS his reality show, is it not? but then again, it's obvious that others outside of Mark Ward have other plans.
Jackson: "Now then, let me see if I'm to get this straight. A card carrying member of Hot Stuff International was at the ready, fully prepared to take the show straight to the top...
The look of shock and confusion floods over Sean's face.
Jackson: "And Sin City Wrestling opens with Simon Jones?"
Yep, it's going to be one of those nights.
Jackson: "Are you kidding me?"
Awkward pause.
Jackson: "But not only did Sin City open up with that has been, but they included the family pet as well."
There is a voice that comes from off screen. It is unintelligible, but Sean picks up on it right away.
Jackson: "That wasn't the family pet? it was his kid?"
Sean shudders.
Jackson: "You're kidding, right?"
Another awkward silence. For those in A&E who aren't familiar with Sean Jackson's work....
Welcome.
Simon Jones goes on about how he wasn't in Santa Rosa, that he was at home in the United Kingdom. He continues by stating that he hasn't officially retired and that at some point, he will come back to the six sided ring. As he's talking, the screen once again splits to where Sean Jackson is drinking some water. He then openly mocks Simon by acting like he's speaking AS Simon Jones....
The water runs out of his mouth and down his chin.
Jackson: "Jesus, just retire already. Nobody cares to hear from you OR to see you. Especially as long as you have that parasitic leech sitting next to you."
Can't you just see the boycott list adding up?
Again, a voice comes from off camera. But this time every word comes in crystal clear.
male's voice: "You don't like Simon Jones, do you?"
Sean acts legitimately surprised by the question. In fact, he looks as if he's been offended.
Jackson: "Are you kidding? I love Simon Jones. Matter of fact, I love him so much that I've named my bowel movements after him. He's brown, he stinks like sh(beep)......"
beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep....
It gets to the point where the words *technical difficulty* fills the screen. Not only can you not hear his words, but you can't read his lips either. The *technical difficulty* words now begin to shift sizes and twirling around. After a few *moments*, the words technical difficulty disappears....
Jackson: "Have I made myself clear?"
No response.
Jackson: "Good."
Sean walks away from the camera and the shift to Climax Control is once again executed. The shot is now of Sean Jackson, surrounded by the A&E cameras, watching the segment of Natalie in the NXT locker room. All he can do is shake his head, still in disbelief as vomiting noises can be heard. As Natalie walks into the shot on the monitor, Sean turns away, his face turning a beet red.
Jackson: "Really? a broad named Natalie McKinley is more important than me? the Mental Rapist, Sean Jackson? really?"
You can barely hear the exchange between Natalie and Spike Staggs on the monitor. But that is due to the rant from Sean, which is still going on.
Jackson: "I have the cameras here in Santa Rosa, and the production truck is more interested in the projectile vomiting of a woman named Natalie McKinley? you've got to be kidding me?"
Sean throws his hands up in obvious disgust.
Jackson: "I mean, can this crap get any worse?"
Don't you know, you NEVER, EVAR ask that question. His face turns green *pardon the pun* as "Burning Down the House" begins to play, which completely drowns out anything and everything else. The fans give out the pop so far of the night because, like Sean Jackson, they know what's coming up next.
Jackson: "You've...."
Justin: Please welcome to the ring....
Jackson: "Got...."
Justin: he is the NEEEEEEEEEEEEW Sin City Wrestling Heavyweight Champion....
Jackson: "To be....."
Justin: he is The Man of the People....
Jackson: "Kidding me."
Justin: Mr. Showtime Drake Green.
As Drake comes out, Sean turns from the monitor and stares down the camera man.
Jackson: "I think it's time for a commercial."
male's voice: "No, not...."
Sean immediately flies towards the camera, his arm crashing down on it, forcing everything to go blank for a quick second. The darkness is soon replaced with a series of regional commercials, that take an extraordinary amount of time. It starts with a commercial of Copperwear, then of Rosetta Stone, followed with several smaller commercials. It's almost as if the network is using filler commercials for some reason.
Or maybe it's because the segment with Drake Green was extended because of Rage. Now, I know what you're going to say. Hey, it's television, a couple of commercials would have been sufficient. Why overkill?
Maybe this will help.
During the commercial *extended* break, the Mental Moment producer was in damage control mode. A camera was damaged, and the camera man slightly scared out of his wits. For a moment, it seemed that everything would come to an end before it could even get started.
Producer: "Damn it Sean, that's a $50,000 camera. You need to get a grip."
Jackson: "Hey, who in the hell do you think you're talking to? You represent the A&E Network, a network that needs someone like me. I'm not a dumb hick duck hunter. I'm not a tub of lard woman, with an equally retarded tub of lard brat. I'm not someone from that fake ass Storage War show, that's about as real as those frauds Drake Green and Simon Jones."
Inhale.exhale
Jackson: "While Drake Green was on the shelf, I was here taking care of business. While Simon Jones sits there at home in the UK, I'm here taking care of business, and I'm not even scheduled to wrestle. So if I feel like venting against a couple of thieves, then I will."
Producer: "Thieves?"
Jackson: "Are you deaf AND stupid? yes, thieves. I'm the man who is leading the charge for Sin City Wrestling, not those fakes Simon Jones and Drake Green. As a card carrying member of Hot Stuff international, WE dictate what goes on here, not them."
As the exchange continues, it appears that the remainder of the show is in complete jeapordy. But then something catches Sean's attention, it's almost as if the wrestling gods were with him. He looks at the monitor just in time to see Rage hitting the Death Drop on Mr. Showtime.
A smile forms on Sean's face as Drake Green is limp, right there in the middle of the six sided ring. Something that doesn't go un-noticed by those within the A&E Network. Especially the Producer.
Producer: "You liked that Sean?"
The smile gets larger.
Jackson: "I'll have to remember to send Rage a gift."
The Producer can do nothing more than shake his head. He can't believe how cruel and inhuman this Sean Jackson character really is. The first match hasn't even occurred yet, and already Sean has destroyed a camera, insulted just about everyone, and took great pleasure in Drake Green possibly being injured.
Even with the match taking place between Natalie McKinley and La Paloma, Sean would continue talking about Drake possibly being hurt. What would have been a great segment involving the two female wrestlers, ended up going on the floor as a cut because of language that wouldn't even be suitable for cable television.
The Mean Girls opening segment would have been nice as well, but it too, couldn't be used. Sean used that entire segment to imagine the still unconscious Drake to be dressed in everything that the Mean Girls were dressed in. He imagined Drake wearing fifteen bracelets on each arm, his hair with hot pink and sky blue highlights, and just about every brand of open toe heels that could fit his feet.
Yep, the thought of Drake Green as a Mean Girl brings out a chuckle. From SCW champion to powder puff. Yep, that's the ticket.
But there was something that did make the cut, that being the segment involving Master Lily. The Producer of Mental Moments would have loved to skip this segment as well, but was over ruled by the A&E Board of Directors. It at first was on it's way to the cutting room floor, but when word got out that Sean Jackson's next match would be against The Ninja, the decision was made to edit as much as possible, but to save as much of the material that they could.
It was decided that the next episode of Mental Moments would be a gold mine. A gold mine due to the tie in between The Ninja and Jon Dough. Now why would that be a gold mine? Just pay attention and you'll answer your own question.
As the segment with Master Lily continues, Sean listens intently, hanging on her every word. The reason he hangs on her words is simple, he is scheduled to face Ninja next week. Here is what the production crew of A&E could salvage.
Jackson: "Now let me see if I've got this straight. Jon Dough got hit by a car, and in doing so, sprained his wrist. Of course, this doesn't affect me at all. Matter of fact, it shouldn't affect anyone. Who should care about a man too stupid to get out of the way of a moving vehicle?"
And this is the edited portion. Do the math.
Jackson: "But apparantly, it affects this individual known as Ninja. Well Ninja, let me explain the obvious to you and please, please understand that I'll try to use small words and I'll speak slowly enough, so that even YOU can understand."
The camera pans in tight.
Jackson: "This isn't China, and I don't believe in honoring my opponents. I've never wrestled over there, and even if I did, I wouldn't hesitate to drill my knee into your skull. Matter of fact Ninja, this is what I think about...."
Sean stops, he completely stops. He cups his hand to his ear and listens intently. It is so convincing that even the Producer can be heard asking the question....
Producer: "What is it Sean?"
Jackson: "Did you hear that?"
Producer: "No"
Jackson: "It sounded like a vehicle skidding into something. It sounded...."
Sean points towards the back parking lot area.
Jackson: "It sounded like it happened out there."
Sean takes off running, even though no one else heard it, the Producer as well as the A&E camera crew take off running behind him, trying to keep up.
Producer: "Sean!!!"
Jackson: "Over here, it happened over here. Right outside this door."
With the Producer and camera crew trying to catch up, Sean swings the door open and screams...
Jackson: "OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!! CALL 911, CALL 911!!!!
As he disappears thru the door, and Producer and camera crew catch up just in time to see Sean kneeling over a cardboard cutout of Jon Dough.
Remember now, this is the part that DID survive the cut. Can you imagine how bad it COULD HAVE BEEN?
Sean is doing fake chest compressions while looking at the Producer.
Jackson: "Don't just stand there, CALL 911!!!! He's obviously been hit by...."
Producer: "Dude, you should be ashamed of yourself. You scared the crap out of us."
Okay, he should be ashamed, but the smile on his face tells the whole story. Not only is Sean not ashamed, he's enjoyed the practical joke and the fact he used the cardboard cutout as an added bonus. Yes, he should be ashamed. But....
Jackson: (standing up) "Bitch please, this is nothing. So I used a fake prop to get a rise out of you guys, get over it. I'll do worse than that next week in Los Angelas."
Producer: "Jesus Sean, what's the matter with you? Why do you always have to....
Jackson: "Have to what? be myself? Don't you dare think that you can judge me, nobody here can judge me. You people are the ones who created this, who created the way that I am. Sure, when I put Drake Green on the shelf a few months ago, these frauds wanted to snub their noses at me like I had done something wrong. But where were these frauds back in 2010 when a piece of crap named Jason Jousma put me out for over two years?"
There's no immediate response.
Jackson: "Yeah, just as I thought. Nothing. Well, just as long as there's nothing next week when I shelve another one from munchkin land."
Yes, and this was the part that actually made the cut.
The question now remains. Will Mental Moments survive to see a second episode?
Fade.
