The events of a few weeks ago are still fresh in my mind, still have me feeling like less than a person. Is this what all superheroes go through? I know the life I lead and have led is no bed of roses, never thought it would be. But this is...this is different. Outside the ring things have just unraveled. I can never seem to make both my personal and professional life's happiness last long. I lose the title, gain a boyfriend, I get on roll to get my title back, boyfriend ends up being a killer. I figure all it will take now is for me to get turned into a vampire and my misery will be complete.
Sadly, I may end up getting my wish if I'm not careful.
This week, it's Vixen and my good friend Misty. Misty made several valid points earlier, and I can't help but agree with them, and it seems we have a lot more in common that I thought. Mainly, letting go of the past. The past comes back to haunt us more often than not, but I don't think that I'm exactly haunting Misty after I beat her, but, whatever motivates her, is fine with me. If my victory over her drives her to be better, than that's a good thing I guess. Maybe I motivated her to be a better person.
That's probably just wishful thinking though. Not that she would admit out loud anyway.
But at the same time, It is best competition around right now facing both her and Vixen. I would be extremely excited about this, I would be looking at this as the best thing for me this week after all that's happened. Misty and Vixen are two top quality wrestlers, not just women, but wrestlers in SCW. This should be the most exciting and motivational weeks in my SCW career. But, you know, it's just not. Since I have a vampire monster on my team, this week just drains the life out of me.
Pun intended.
I'm sorry about that, This just isn't the week for jokes I guess. Trying to put on a happy face after you do something you will regret for the rest of your life isn't exactly easy.
Teaming with Gothika, knowing she beat me for the bombshells title, and she are her crazy team are going to be hovering around like vultures isn't the most enticing thing in the world, and stepping in against the tag team champions is just icing on the crap cake.
I've teamed with Vixen in the past, so I know she's a great tag partner, and in certain cases, a valuable partner. Misty's accomplishments speak for themselves and here I am, going against them with a vampire who wants my blood. This makes me question What exactly did I do to deserve this?
But I suppose that this is just another test. Another hurdle I must jump over. It's not going to be easy carrying the undead with you, but I guess if anybody's got what it takes to do it, it's me. I mean, usually, I re-kill the undead and enjoy it plenty, but that's just going to have to wait until December when I gain my belt back.
For Sunday though, I'm going to be in your corner Gothika. I'm going to stand beside you, and fight alongside you, but make no mistake, I will have my eye on you the entire time. Any cheap shots, any shananigans, and this will be the shortest tag match in history. I'm not in any mood to be toyed with this week. It's bad enough that I'm facing two of the most accomplished bombshell's in SCW history, but teaming with you makes it that much more difficult. Part of me wants to make this work, but the more common sense side of me says "screw this".
We have an important match Gothika, one I do not intend to lose. You can be with me this week, or against me this week, partner for a week, an enemy for life.
Your choice.
Misty, Vixen, I know you girls are the tag champions for a reason, I know that both of you are two of the top women of all time in SCW, I just want you to know that I don't hate or even dislike either one of you. Yes Misty, I actually like you. But, I like everybody, even the girl who sank her teeth into my neck, but she's really pushing the limits. This match is another example of how great the bombshell's are, and I know we will tear the house down out there.
I just need to win.
<HR>
[ Roxi sits in what looks like a doctor's office. She lays back on the couch, seemingly deep in though. ]
Roxi - And that's...really all I remember.
Therapist - You know, from what your telling me, you didn't really do anything wrong.
Roxi - Yes, I did.
Therapist - No, you defended yourself. If what you say is true, you were fighting for your life.
Roxi - I should have been able to end it without killing him.
Therapist - That's hypothetical. You did what you had to do that the time. It's a natural reaction.
Roxi - I took a life.
Therapist - Not purposefully. You defended yourself.
Roxi - I did something that I shouldn't have done. Heroes don't kill.
Therapist - No, they don't, but you were in a different situation. Anyone can tell you that what you did was right.
Roxi - No. What I did makes me a monster.
Therapist - Roxi, we're not going to get anywhere if you can't let this go. You have saved countless lives. You are a great inspiration to so many people. You ARE a hero. That night, was something that could not be avoided.
Roxi - I killed him, Doc. I killed him.
Therapist - But you didn't want to kill him, did you?
Roxi - Of course not!
Therapist - And you acted exactly the way anyone would have. You had no control over this situation.
Roxi - I could have -
Therapist - But you didn't. And you, acted on instinct.
[ The therapist checks his watch. ]
Therapist - We're almost out of time, I think you need to just come to terms with what happened. It wasn't your fault. There was a struggle, and if you hadn't done that, maybe you wouldn't be here today.
Roxi - I...I guess.
Therapist - See? I think your making progress. But more importantly, I think we might be able to get to the root of all this, with more sessions.
Roxi - You really think so?
Therapist - Yes. From where I'm sitting, the problem comes from something other than Ted. His death makes you feel guilty, but something makes you feel even more guilty...
[Later, Roxi is sitting in her apartment, on her bed, staring out the window. ]
Andrea - Hey.
Roxi - Hey.
Andrea - So, how was the shrink?
Roxi - He doesn't understand.
Andrea - What doesn't he understand.
Roxi - I violated the hero code. I'm not supposed to take lives.
Andrea - We've been over this. His death was an accident. A freak thing.
Roxi - He said the same thing.
Andrea - Because it's the truth. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. There's a lot of crime out there, and bigger threats than Ted ever was. The Guild needs all the able bodies it can get, and you are sitting her like a bump on a log, feeling guilty about something you had no control over.
Roxi - I...He..he said that too.
Andrea - Rox, you need to come out with me, and get your groove back. Be my Stella.
[ Roxi cracks a half smile. ]
Andrea - See, you know you want to.
Roxi - No. I'm too dangerous. I might kill again.
Andrea - Stop it.
Roxi - No... The therapist says that I feel guilty about Ted's death, but other things too. I think, on that point, he might actually be right.
Andrea - What do you mean?
Roxi - I killed Ted, and whether or not it was my fault, I...I think that deep down, I...I enjoyed it.
Andrea - What are you talking about?
Roxi - I saw him...laying at that awkward angle, and I knew he was dead. I knew I had killed him, and...I think I felt better knowing that I did.
Andrea - Okay, you are starting to scare me, next time you talk with that Therapist, be sure and tell him that, and not your roommate please. I do enjoy sleeping, you know.
Roxi - I'm sorry. But maybe he's right, maybe my guilt isn't really about him anymore... Look, I... need time...before I go back out there with you. I know your trying to help, and I appreciate it. But for now, The city is in your hands...
Why is is that they don't get? What I did, I can never erase. What I went through, can't be washed away or talked out of my system. It's my cross the bare. We all have one, I guess this is mine. I was hoping that I'd get that instant satisfaction, but in the back of my mind, I knew full well that this is what was going to happen. I don't know, I guess I need something. I need something to snap me out of this funk I feel like I'm in.
At least this wrestling covention in town may be able to take my mind off of this for at least a few hours.
[ Roxi and Sydney sit at a booth, labeled for Roxi. A wrestling fan festival event, and Roxi has a little bit of a line as she signs autographs, takes pictures, and just being all around friendly. Andrea just stands against the wall looking bored. ]
Roxi - Hey. You doing okay?
Andrea - Oh, just peachy.
Roxi - You didn't have to come.
Andrea - You said you needed me.
Roxi - I do.
Andrea - To do what, just stand here as no one asks for my autograph?
Roxi - To provide support.
Andrea - You're getting all the support you need. Look at all these people.
Roxi - Yeah, but, I still feel like I'm letting them down.
Andrea - You're here aren't you?
Roxi - That's not the point. I feel like I'm just...playing a character.
Andrea - And it's a character people like. You have your own booth. You've been proposed too like six times today.
Roxi - Yes, apparently, I'm marrying six guys.
Andrea - I think that's illegal.
Roxi - They don't mean it.
Andrea - Tell that to that guy over there.
[ Andrea points to a larger fan who is still staring at Roxi with a huge smile on his face. ]
Roxi - That's a little creepy.
Andrea - No, it's a lot creepy.
Roxi - Some fans are just...overzealous. But still, I feel like I haven't really done much to warrant this.
Andrea - People look up to you.
Roxi - If they knew....
Andrea - Stop it.
Roxi - I can't shake it, A. You know that. It's starting to effect me in more ways. I mean, It's a nice line and everything, and most fans are respectful.
Andrea - So no one has copped a feel.
Roxi - Four. But I let it slide.
Andrea - You're too nice.
Roxi - I don't need a lawsuit to go with everything else.
Andrea - What everything else? You have no problems.
Roxi - I have a lot of them.
Andrea - You said it. Not me.
Roxi - Shut up.
[ Roxi stands up from her booth as the line guy in line gets his autograph and picutre. ]
Andrea - Is that it?
Roxi - I think we should go.
Andrea - What? You've only been here for an hour.
Roxi - I know. It's just, these people like me because of my looks. You know how many times I was told I'm hot today?
Andrea - 64.
Roxi - ...
Andrea - I counted.
Roxi - Wow, really?
Andrea - Yeap.
Roxi - Well, my line has died down, so...I'm going to take a break.
Andrea - So...what do I do?
Roxi - I don't know...mingle?
Andrea - Mingle?
Roxi - Yeah.
Andrea - At a wrestling convention?
Roxi - Judgemental much?
Andrea - That's not funny.
Roxi - I'm being serious.
Andrea - Sometimes, I hate you. No, I got dressed up this morning, I came with you down to this convention, I watched as 200 plus people lined up to see you. I'm not going to "mingle" this these people.
Roxi - Then we should go.
Andrea - Oh, do not guilt trip me right now.
Roxi - It's not a guilt trip on you. I let these guys down. I'm a superhero, I don't kill people.
[ Sydney shushes Roxi ]
Andrea - Keep your voice down. Look, you need to get over this. Right now. These people came here to see a person they look up to.
Roxi - It's not me.
Andrea - Stop. You need to start thinking clearly.
Roxi - No, for the first time in a long time I am thinking clearly. I've been thinking a lot lately.
Andrea - What are you getting at?
[ Roxi gets closer to Sydney, so only the two of them can hear ]
Roxi - Andrea, Maybe it's time I stopped.
Andrea - ...Excuse me?
Roxi - I mean it.
Andrea - This isn't funny.
Roxi - It's not supposed to be. I mean, how long before someone else I care about gets hurt because of my actions? All of this, everything we've done, everything just continues. It never ends.
Andrea - We've saved this place hundreds of times.
Roxi - And yet, how much good have we done? Put out a few fires, won some battles, but...It's a drop in the bucket.
Andrea - You did what anyone else would have done. You need to just...take some more time off. Then, you'll come back, and be better.
Roxi - No. I don't think so. Maybe it's time. Time to stop playing games, for Lady Bedlam to just...stop, walk away. Before someone else gets hurt..
Andrea - You can't quit.
Roxi - Why?....why not?
Andrea - Because these people need you.
Roxi - The Guild will do fine without me. They did before I got there, they will when I'm gone. I'm simply a cog in the machine.
Andrea - You cannot just give up because of one bad night.
Roxi - Watch -
Andrea - Huh?
[ Just then, a small little boy with tears in his eyes, runs up and latches himself to Roxi's leg. ]
Small Child - Roxi! Roxi!
[ Confused, Roxi kneels down embraced the kid. ]
Roxi - Hey there Kiddo. What's the problem?
Small Child - I need help!
Roxi - Okay, calm down, what's your name?
Small Child - Bobby.
Roxi - Okay Bobby, everything's going to be okay, what's wrong?
Bobby - I lost my daddy.
Roxi - Uh-oh. Well, I'm sure he's around here somewhere. Let's take you to the security office and they can help you find him, okay?
Bobby - No, no! I need YOU to help find him.
Roxi - Whoa, whoa. Okay.
Bobby - I'm scared. I don't know all these people. I know you.
Roxi - You do?
Bobby -Uh-huh. You help everybody.
[ Roxi picks up Bobby and holds him close. She looks back at Andrea, who is smiling. ]
Roxi - Okay Kiddo, let's go find your daddy.
Bobby - Okay!
[ With that, Roxi walks with Bobby, holding him in her arms as she makes her way to the security office, at least to make it known that Bobby's looking for his dad. And as luck would have it, Roxi walks up right as Bobby right as his dad is registering him as lost. ]
Roxi - Hey, look at that, we found him.
Bobby - Yah! Daddy!
Bobby's dad - Oh! Bobby! There you are. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
Roxi - He's okay.
Bobby - I was with Roxi. She helped me. She's a hero!
Bobby's dad - Thank you so much for finding him.
Roxi - Oh, don't thank me. Actually, Little Bobby found me.
Bobby's dad - Really?
Roxi - Yeah. I just brought him to you.
Bobby's dad - Well, you're a hero to me too.
Roxi - It's nothing, Bobby's a smart little boy.
Bobby - I knew you'd help me.
Roxi - Of course. It's my job. High five little guy!
Bobby - *giggle*
[ Roxi high fives the kid ]
Bobby's dad - Again, I can't thank you enough.
Roxi - It's not a problem.
Bobby's dad - Uh, just one thing...why did he run to you?
Roxi - He said he knew me, and knew I would help.
Bobby's dad - I guess he picked the right hero.
Roxi - Well, it is easy when your as handsome as he is. Bye-bye little Bobby.
Bobby - Bye Roxi!
[ Roxi goes back to her booth and sits down. She can't help but smile. ]
Andrea - And you want to give all that up.
Roxi - ...I...I can't explain that.
Andrea - Face it, that is who you are.
Roxi - No...it's...
Andrea - To that guy, and more importantly, to that little boy, you are a hero.
Roxi - ...
Andrea - They are going to remember you forever.
Roxi - Maybe.
Andrea - Maybe? How about absolutely?
Roxi - *sigh* Okay, I'll let you have that one.
Andrea - So no more talk about giving this up?
Roxi - For now.
I really hate it when she's right sometimes.
