ooc i'm having some issues going on and i jus tfelt to put it down ina rp and putting my issues in a third person thing. thanks
Inner thoughts: “Oh once again I’ve made the storylines, entering a match first and making people left and right my personal bitch. Once again I lived the tales of a long last memory and for what? To make the world gawk in awe? Or to have the world remember that when I want to, that I can make the world stand still and realize that they were wrong… it’s up to you to make up your decision… for crying out loud”
“I made her smile….. she was so young… so innocent. I remember her in her hospital bed, just a few more days left in her life and alls he wanted was to meet me. Why? I wonder… why would someone so vulnerable want to meet the man that loves to enjoy setting someone on fire. And yet, her eyes lit up when she saw me. Entering her life, even if it was for merely a visit on visiting hours. She had cancer, she was dying. What would I do? Tell her no? To send her to the other world not whole? Not granting her a final wish… people often tell me that I’m a heartless man, I play one to the fullest of my extinct. But to these moments where it would come down to show humanity, I excel.. just like I excel in that ring, I have at moments like these only eyes for that one thing in life.”
“This time it wasn’t a four corner squared circle, this time there were not three ropes surrounding every corner. This time there wasn’t a combatant that I could beat, because let’s face it. I can beat everyone that I choose to beat, but this time I stood there… I stood there without a chance, without a hope of doing anything to take her with me as her saviour. And yet, she was grateful. And for what? That I held her hand? That I listened to her soft voice? To her whispers of that I could just tell her my darkest secrets? That what would make me who I am? I am just amazed over her power, her power to forget the fact that she was dying. The fact that she had me locked in a Anaconda vice. And all I could do is just succumb to her might.”
“She asked me what drives me, ME?? I always know that answer, I can out talk every wrestler with lies and make them look like the reality that it is. But with her? I just don’t know… I was numb… how can I tell her that my career is based on getting under someone’s skin and abuse them mentally. How can I tell this angel that I like to make people worship the ground I walk on… and when I told her that I just want to be the best… she told me that I was lying… she truly knew me”
“My eyes close, I look back to that moment that I was just being a human once again. I told her that I was a man that bases his belief on the fact that I just don’t want to be insecure anymore. That I’m a man that has been haunted for all my life by fears. That I don’t want to show those fears out to the world and that I can make people belief that I am indestructible… then she smiled… I guess she realised that at that moment she was not the patient anymore.. I was… How ironic some moments can be right???”
The scene opens up in a room, it is secluded. It has a clock ticking against the wall. A table with a burning cigar on top of an ashtray. There is wine cabinet against another wall with lots of bottles inside of it. A figure sits in a corner, an open shirt and his hair is a complete mess. His eyes are staring into the open void of the room, not even noticing the camera as it zooms in on him.
“Goth”
A voice is talking to him, a woman’s voice as he is not responding to it. His eyes are dry, he looks like he hasn’t slept in a long time.
“Dear??”
Goth looks at her for a few moments before he opens up his mouth.
Goth: “She was just fifteen dear, fifteen. How could life be so destructive and unfair?”
He drops his eyes back to the spot that he was staring to a while ago.
“I know dear, but you have been sitting there for days, you need to get up and move dear”
Goth: “One day not moving won’t kill me, she could not even move anymore”
Silence falls over them, he runs his hands through his hair as he drops his head to his chest. He stares down to the ground as he sighs.
Goth: “Moments like these makes me wish I could just do something to get this anger out of my system. The anger that I am helpless to do something, a man that has gained so much money and helpless to someone that is dying. Me, the man that enjoys the suffering in the eyes of my opponents is now helpless and angered.”
“It’s what makes life so difficult my dear”
Goth:”Life? Is it truly life that makes things so hard on us? Or is it what takes it away from us? Is it perhaps the fact that people are so full of looking at themselves, making themselves happy and forgetting the fact that there is more in life than themselves? I’m often being called a selfish son of a bitch, but have I ever been so selfish to wish someone’s life to end like that?”
Silence comes over them as Goth hits a sensitive spot.
Goth: “I knew that you wouldn’t dare to answer that one, daring to state something else as you know that I’m right. No, life itself is beautiful, it’s the outside world that makes it so damn fucking hard to live in. Oh no, just as long as you are healthy, then at least the world is a better place. Everyone can die for all you care, but as long you can make it through the day and watch the sun come up once more in the morning. It’s quite selfish for people to take things naturally. It’s quite normal for people to think that what some of you will get in their lifetime, won’t happen to them. But these thoughts are the selfish nature of life that we live in these days”
Goth: “So I looked in her eyes and saw innocence and it made me want to reach out and open up for her. I told her things that I wouldn’t share with a camera like this idiot right here.”
Suddenly Goth looks up to the camera and has a cold and distain look in his eyes. As if he is soulless, emotionless
Goth: “And now I have to move back to the daily routine of doing promo’s, preparing for matches. Having to get down into the chore of the superstar that I have to face. To rekindle the moments where I made people talk about me as I dismantled half a team. Where I was the odd one out there and made the rest odd compared to me. Yes, I have a match this week, yes I have an opponent that I have to confront. Yes, I have to convince the world but most of all my opponent that I’m better than him. It’s all routine that I can do with an automatic pilot on. That is on a normal daily routine… but now??”
His hand runs across his chin, he feels the beginning of his beard as his hand continues the movement. Clearly lost in thoughts as he stares into the camera.
Goth: ”Why do I have to consider you a daily part of my life? You are just doing your job I know, but come on now. You feel like you are enjoying your life or something? Feeling so powerful to reach out and see me in my most vulnerable state? Something what I normally wouldn’t allow? But at moments like these I can’t control? For moments like these, I will simply allow you to show me to the world like vulnerable. While I know inside that ring, I will once again be like I’ve always been. Destructive, devoted to maim. Hell, perhaps I have changed into a better person, but still with that thirst of destruction upon my mind”.
Goth: “And then there’s Ace Baldwin”
“Seriously???”
Goth ignores the remark made by his woman, his eyes are slowly closing. A few nights of not sleeping has that effect on people. But he opens them up again, we can see his eyes focused on the camera without staring too deep into it.
Goth: “Alec Baldwin’s unwanted step child I presume, hell I could go into the stupid and silly remarks until I run out of failure movie titles. But then again, it would be as useless as Sylvester Stallone doing a remake of the Godfather trilogy. It’s about the man behind the name isn’t it? The man that has made remarks about me, about my name. It’s as pointless as the fact what I think about his name.”
He slaps his face a few times, trying to maintain a status of being awake as his eyes slowly closed once again.
Goth: “The only time I ever heard the name Ace that made sense to me was Ace Frehley. A guitar god in his days, a man that I’ve seen play live with Kiss many years ago in their comeback tour. A man that has been living his dream as a superstar rockstar to the fullest, sex, drugs and rock & roll… a man that loved to drink, to abuse substances and many other things. Does that make me feel like he is something special? Just because he is still alive? Oh well, whatever”
Clearly not impressed by the comments that was made by his opponent this coming week, he grabs a glass that is next to him and sips from the final drops of alcohol that was left in it.
Goth: “ Clearly a thirst driven wrestling newbie, yup a kid that has the ability to impress the corwd. Outwrestle many names that will take him lightly. A man that knows his place inside the ring and has got the attitude to anger the crowd, too bad that I’m just sitting here and the only thing that I can remember where those eyes of that little girl. Ever had that Ace? Ever had that moment that nothing could take away from your focus that I’m having? Man, you could drop an atom bomb next to me and I would not even flinch. Those words, those eyes staring into my soul made me realize that there’s so much more than stupid nonsense words that comes out of your mouth. Bat biting? Blood drinking? I’m surprised you haven’t… oh wait, you probably have…”
Goth shrugs his shoulders as he stopped mid sentence and turned into a different direction.
Goth: “There was a time that I remember a man, a man that was named Jaymz. You should perhaps have heard from him, but probably never took notice of it all because you are so damn good. A man that had it all, size, ability. The drive to make you lose your appetite to even enter the ring. But unlike you, he did not have to say things like don’t even bother showing up. Because he made you feel like an unwanted child. Ever experienced that before Ace? Being unwanted? He made you feel like you did not belong, he made you feel that you have died and gone to scrap waste of shit. Driven your face into the ring post before you even set foot inside the ring.”
Goth: “I once made the mistake of talking crap like a mindless idiot. Something you should write down in your memoires after your tenth match son. I made the mistake to go into the too obvious situation of mindless trash talking. Going into it unprepared. Assuming the same mistakes that everyone else before me made. Are you that damn good to be a mindless idiot and still come out on top? I hope so, because at this moment life has no meaning to me. Only to survive the passage of time my friend. The only moment I care about is staring into your eyes and see your true desires… the desires of that what makes you so good, or the desires of that what I just wish to take away from you”.
Goth’s hands fall from his face as he lets his arms fall down while resting his elbows on his knees.
Goth: “Does it make sense Ace? It probably won’t even reach your listening ears. The ears that only listens to your mindless yapping of greatness. Of how you should be victorious before even getting in the ring with me. The problem of you my friend is that, unlike Jaymz. You don’t know shit. He was an authority figure, a giant of a man. But unlike relying solely on his size, he knew that he was better before even getting in the ring with someone else”
“Isn’t Ace claiming the same thing as well dear??”
Goth: “Claims are just the words of trying to convince yourself to that what you are saying. Jaymz knew that he was better, the problem of it all was that I had to convince him otherwise… You see Ace, these moments were epic. To have two men know that they were the better of the two. Not giving one inch, not giving in to the moments when you knew that you were cornered. No, you see Ace… these were the moments that I had to open up my eyes and focus on one thing… beating Jaymz…”
“You don’t have that with this guy??”
Goth’s eyes slowly drop again, we can see him relax for a few moments before opening his eyes again.
Goth: “Unlike you Ace, unlike you… I don’t give shit about what you believe… I’m not dropping myself to amusing anecdotes to make you sound like Albert Einstein. Playing a role of child psychiatrist, please my friend. I just watched someone’s final moments as a living person. Living out it’s final wish to see me and you talk about the fact that you will wipe away blood? Seriously, if I could earn a dollar every time someone mentioned something like that. Then I would have been able to buy this planet and send everyone flying to the moon that doesn’t get me. But that’s it isn’t it Ace? Not getting the fact that your life is just like that of Jaymz.. in the long run it’s over. Nobody will continue remembering the effort that you put through your words. Because it’s just words, you don’t have any backbone that would put any sense in your words. Nothing makes sense, you are just another delusional man that thinks that he can put his words into action. You can outwork marks that just enter the ring to make you look good son. But you have to forget about the bats and focus on the fact that I will just crush you.”
Goth: “Oh father in the heavens, when will the moment come that mindless idiots will cease to amaze me???”
A chuckle escapes his lips, for the first time we can see some emotion on the man that has been emotionless so far.
Goth: ”I know that sarcasm sometimes can take you somewhere, it gives you the sense that you can step away from the moment of being too serious. I feel you are just oozing sarcasm Ace, to the point that you are going to believe every word you are saying. Making stupid remarks and belief that nobody can stop you from doing so. What makes it so funny is the thing that remarks will only make your position in this match weaker and weaker. Why would I bother not showing up Ace? The only answer that I can give you is the simplest of them all, you are expecting nobody to show up so that you can ace your way to another victory. I would rather die first than before walking off and give you the chance to shine once more. I know that rich kids like to take the easy road, but in life my friend. There is nothing that could take things easily away from me…”
Goth: “I watched death in her eyes and she was smiling, she was calm and she knew that until the moment would come that she could overcome everything. I’m just like that Ace, until the moment has come that it’s my time, I overcome everything that gets in my way. Convince me that you are the one that will stop me and I will crush your attempts to smile. Try to convince me that you are my death, then I will choke the life out of you. Why Ace? Because I can, because I know I’m beyond childish lectures and futile attempts to make me angry… but most of all Ace, I can because I’m the very best that this world has ever seen…. Good night while dreaming of my blood washed away Ace… good night….”
