[ Fade into a dark and dank place. The constant dripping of water running off the slime coated walls, the faint green glow of said slime, and the pure sliminess of this place seem important to mention.
Yet here, somewhere underground, Roxi is in the middle of a hunt. What is she hunting? Well, a small figure rushes by, about the size of a little person. He's obscured from view, but it seems...he is hunting her. ]
Sometimes, evil lurks in the worst places.
[ Roxi walks around this nasty looking place, globs of slime on her costume. She pauses as another droplet his her shoulder, she looks down and the splash-back gets on her mask. ]
Roxi - Oh, GROSS! Getitoffmegetitoffme!
[ She's splashing around in the dark muck, making quite a bit of noise, her element of surprise or steal is completely ruined. After a moment, she stops, balls up her fists and takes a step to continue walking, but then stops, looking around as if she has the heebie jeebies.. ]
Roxi - Man, I got the heebie-jeebies.
[ Called it. ]
Shut up.
[ Anyway, she trudges on, continuing to hunt. ]
Stupid Guild. This is ridiculous.
[ Faced with two tunnels to go down, she takes the one on the left, the less slimy one. ]
You don't see Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones crawling around in this muck do you? You don't see Mr. Amazing down here. Nope. But noooo, I've got to do all the dirty work. I mean, I win my first two matches in SCW, I save the city once again and bam, I get sent out here. And they now I have a match coming up. I'll never get rid of this smell in time!
[ She keeps walking, but starts to perk up. ]
But, It's what I do. Being a superhero isn't about the glory. It's about saving people and helping those who can't help themselves. People like Jessie and Angel needed my help to win recognition in MPW. I also suspect Mark Ward may be under the influence of those rare and juicy brain slugs from Saturn, like Chekov in that Star Trek movie. But, no one ever believes me, nope, nobody. Well, they won't be laughing when I save SCW from certain disaster.
[ She smiles under her mask, she's happy. ]
But a hero's work is never done. Now, where is that little guy?
[ As if on cue, she hears it. The dreaded cackle of her opponent. She freezes in place. The tiny shadow at the end of the tunnel turns to face her, holding some kind of futuristic rifle of doom! ]
Roxi - Oh crap.
[ The tiny man comes closer, and into the light.]
Roxi - Well, well well, Crazy Wolf...
Roxi - That gun won't save you, you're coming with me.
[ Crazy Wolf cackles like a lunatic.]
Roxi - Yep. Crazy alright.
Crazy Wolf - You shouldn't have come here. But, I am happy. Now, this little toy right here will get you out of my hair forever.
Roxi - Listen, little man, I know those rifles, it doesn't scare me.
Crazy Wolf - You know, you're right. Maybe one won't. But how about 15?
Roxi - Pfft. You're bluffing, you're stumpy arms can't hold 14 more of those!
[ Yeah, she may be a little slow on the uptake on that one…
Much to her dismay, Wolf isn't alone, in more ways than one. He makes a howl and 14 more tiny guys pop out holding similar rifles.]
Crazy Wolf - Meet my better....fourteenths.
A multi-form....clever girl.
Roxi - Uh...
[She waits for the perfect moment....]
Roxi - Um...
Wait for it....]
Roxi - Ah...
[ Now.]
Roxi - AGHHHHHH!
[ With speed rivaled by the world's greatest athletes, She turns and runs away. Green beams of energy shoot past her as she flees - er, makes a strategic retreat.
She dives out of a pipe, and rolls. She looks left, and looks right, which way to go?
75% of all people faced with this choice, choose right.
She, of course, hurries off to the left, which isn't the same way she came. She keeps running. ]
Okay, calm down. You're a superhero for crying out loud. A few death rays can't possibly hurt you.
[ She pauses to catch a breather, only to have another death ray beam whiz by her head.
But they can possibly KILL YOU! Run away!
[ She pours it on, creating a huge amount of distance. It's the nice thing about not being three feet tall: you're not neck deep in goop and can actually move. She slows up after a while to catch her breath.]
Where did Wolf get 15 death rays? This is a bit much. If I live through this, I may need to invest in some kind of body armor. protect myself. And I swear if any of this crap is in my hair, I am going to murder someone. At this point, I'd rather be tangling with Sgt. Hate again, or Haven, or anybody who didn't have brain scrambling rifles! Still, could be worse, like that time I have to stop that 60' snake. That, was the worst!
[ Another death ray shot cuts through the slime and misses her by a mile. She runs anyway though. It's almost cartoonish the way she pumps her arms and legs.]
Or maybe I'll get to fight Enigma again. I still owe him one. Big goof thinks that because he got me once that's invincible? I'll show him. I'll rip him limb from limp. I'll murderlize that bum! I'll tie him in so many knots it'll take the boy scouts to get him out! I'll -
[ Another death ray shot comes zinging by her. This one's closer, which causes her to shriek]
I've got to get the heck outta here.
[ She runs again, out of frame, followed by the tiny multiples of Crazy Wolf.]
[ Fade into Roxi's apartment, later that night. She stumbles in, obviously exhausted. She slowly makes her way around before plopping herself down in her chair, facing the computer.]
Vision - Long night?
Roxi - You could say that.
Vision - How did it go?
Roxi - Well, I smell like a sewer, I got chased by 15 little people with death rays, and I think I broke a nail.
Vision - So...good then?
Roxi - Well, I'm still alive. But I got ambushed like an amateur.
Vision - It happens, I guess.
[ She stares at him.
Roxi - You look like you have something on your mind.
Vision - Well, I got good news and I got bad news.
Roxi - If I haven't won the lottery, it's all bad news.
Vision - Which do you want first?
Roxi - Vision, I don't have time for games.
Vision - Okay, bad news first, There's new baddies in town.
Roxi - Great.
Vision - Apparently, the newest guy is planning a big time heist tomorrow.
Roxi - Good. He'll let me get some sleep.
Vision - You look like you need some.
Roxi - I know. What's the good news?
Vision - The good news is SCW has put you in a Mixed Tag Team tournament.
Roxi - ....
Vision - You get to team with Gabriel and face Casper Grey and Becky Jones.
Roxi - That sounds like an orgy.
Vision - ....Can you PLEASE stop thinking dirty for one day?
Roxi - Sorry. I'm tired. Why is it I can't get a one on one match?
Vision - Well, if you win you move on, maybe win the whole thing.
Roxi - ....Okay. Sounds good.
Vision - Well, I'll let you get some sleep.
Roxi - Thanks, Vision...
Vision - Good ...
[ He cuts himself off after he sees her head droop to the side. ]
Vision - Night.
[ Roxi stands on a rooftop, overlooking a bank. ]
Roxi - Well? Isn't this the place?
Vision - Yup.
Roxi - So...where's the crime?
[ And, as if on cue, the banks alarm goes off. ]
Roxi - I had to ask.
[ She fires a grappling hook and swings around, closer to the ground, finally meeting an average looking guy, standing and barking out order to masked henchmen. He turns to look at her. She sees a large flaming skull on his chest. ]
Roxi - Wait, wait, let me guess, Flameskull? No no, Skullflame, right?
[ He stares at her. ]
Roxi - Don't tell me, I didn't want to know anyway.
Man - I...am Fury.
[ She wiggles her fingers in a "I'm so scared" motion. ]
Roxi - Fury? Did you think of that yourself?
Fury - It is a name I have chosen, out of many.
Roxi - Oh? Where the others too hard to spell?
Fury - Funny. Just like Hate said.
Roxi - Hate? As in Sgt. Hate?
Fury - The very same. My brother.
Roxi - Hate and Fury? Well, he got the cool name.
Fury - I will enjoy finishing what he started.
Roxi - Whoops, excuse me one second.
[ Fury's henchmen have begun to drive off in a van, but Roxi expertly tosses four sharp spikes that hit both sets of back tires. In an instantly, the van is out of commision. ]
Roxi - Now...what were you saying?
Fury - You will pay for that.
Roxi - Put it on my tab.
Fury - YOU....YOU...SHUT UP! I WILL KILL YOU!
Roxi - I think he said that too.
Fury - KILL HER!
Roxi - Keep trying!
[ The henchmen from the van slowly surround her.
Roxi - Really? ten of you can't beat one little girl? I'm warning you now, this is only going to lead to humiliation for all of you. The good news is, There won't be any teasing about being beaten by a girl. Because you all will!
Fury - Kill her...slowly.
Roxi - Aww, you're leaving? At least Hate had the BALLS to fight me.
Fury - GHAAAAAAAAA!
[ Without warning, Fury pulls out his pistol and begins firing with rage in his eyes. Roxi dodges the bullets. ]
Fury - Stay Still!
Roxi - Uh...no.
Fury - Why won't you die?
[ Within a few seconds, the magazine is empty. ]
Roxi - You do realize my name is Lady Bedlam, not Lady stand-still-and-get-shot, right?
Fury - ....
[ Fury looks around, he has shot all of his henchmen. ]
Roxi - Ouch. So many nameless henchmen deaths. That has to suck.
Fury - They're lives mean nothing to me. Much like yours.
Roxi - Ouch. Cut me deep Fury. Here I thought we were going to have a great relationship.
Fury - Just shut up!
Roxi - Does the truth hurt, Fury? Does it make you angry? Well, forget that part, I'm sure spilled salt makes you angry. But still.
Fury - I HATE YOU!
Roxi - Does somebody need a hug? I mean, you shot all your henchmen, now you have nobody to boss around.
Fury - I AM THE BOSS!
Roxi - That's not what Hate tell me.
[ Without warning, he chucks a knife at her, she dodges it, but leaves herself open to get kicked in the chest. It sends her flying into a wall.
Ouch. Must have been something I said. He's not as strong as Hate, but it's close. Gotta end this now.
[ She stands, defiantly with hands on hips, classic superhero stance. ]
Roxi - Alright pal, it's been fun, but just like your brother, I'm gonna have to take you down.
Fury - Come, if you dare!
Roxi - Oh, I dare.
[ She rushes and vaults with her staff, high into the air. She drops a flash grenade from her belt, and it blinds Fury as it goes off. She lands, as Fury is rubbing his eyes, holding his face from the flashbang. Using her staff, she trips Fury, mounts him and starts raining down punches. Fury angrily bucks like a bull, throwing Roxi off. He scrambles to get up but she again vaults and kicks him in the chest. The impact sends him flying into the disabled van. ]
Roxi - Had enough?
[ He stands slowly, now recovered from the flash. He stares at her with anger in his eyes. ]
Fury - I'M GONNA KILL YOU!
Roxi - I'll take that, as a "No".
[ He begins to charge, but cop sirens stop him in his tracks, several swat members pour out of vans, all with guns drawn. Fury, with no other choice, gives up. ]
Fury - This...this isn't over.
Roxi - And you'll have plenty of time to plot your revenge. Don't worry, I'll be here when you get out.
[ Police arrest Fury, and drag him away in cuffs. ]
Roxi - Another villain beaten, one more, for the good guys.
Vision - Rox?
Roxi - What's up?
Vision - I think you need to see this.
Roxi - What?
Vision - You've got 3 supervillains headed your way.
Roxi - Great.
Vision - I thought you'd say that.
Roxi - Where to?
Vision - The Park.
Roxi - On the way.
[ Using her grappling gun, she swings off. ]
That's the thing with Villainy, totally not considerate of other people's schedules. I've still got to see what Bliss, and the others have said already. Then I gotta talk to Herman, it's been so long since I talked to him. I'll bet he's aching to hear all my stories.
But, that's gotta wait, because Evil never sleeps. You know, they could just postpone this little attack until tomorrow. That's would be great. But Nnnoooo, I have to fight crime.
And my suit still smells!
Ugh. Stick a fork in me, I'm done.
<HR>
Well SCW, I'm here once again, after defeating Jessie Salco, and I find that I am thrust into this Mixed Tag Tournament match with Gabriel. Who I know happens to be with Odette Ryder. And that's just fine and dandy. I'm not interested in Gabe, and I'm sure he's not interested in me with Odette around.
But obviously, that does not mean we cannot function as a team, which we will have to do, in order to win this tournament. I may not know much about him, but I don't need to, all I needed to know, was answered a little earlier when he spoke. Now my questions have all been answered. I had to know he would hold up his end. Now I know he will.
Now, I have to hold up my end.
So let me do that now. Our opponents are Casper Grey and Becky Jones. Sounds like fun, but really, Casper's not really my problem, so I'll just have he looks like the standard arrogant prick who really thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread? How close am I? What do I win? Is it a pony?
The point is, you've seen one, you've seen 'em all. It seems to be all the rage to be the biggest a-hole you can be in wrestling. I get it, come out, smirk at the people, tell them you're the best in the world, or the universe, or whatever. You're better than everyone, yada yada yada....been there, done that, next.
Now Becky Jones is an interesting character. I can get behind a bounty hunter. Especially if she works with Dog. But I think she's a solo act, so that loses points right there. And she'll obviously lose points if if her hair is not completely silly looking all the time. Dog's entire family has mullets. Ice Cube had awful cornrows in All About the Benjamins. I think it's some kind of thing where the hair just has to be awful. For Bounty Hunters.
None the less, Becky is a former Roulette champion, so I'm not going to take her lightly. But she looks like Amy Marshall, I think they're twins, hopefully Becky is as talented. I've had two matches, and they've not really been up to my standards, but winning is winning, and I'd like to continue that on Sunday and I'd like to win this tournament.
Becky, I don't hate you, I respect what you do outside the ring and all that, but in the ring there haven't been many to best me and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you aren't the first. I have big aspirations here and winning this tournament is one of them. So, I think I can at least say if won't be your fault when Gabriel and I win, you can blame Casper Grey.
Good luck Becky, with him as a partner, you're going to need it. Gabriel, I look forward to winning this tournament with you as a partner. I'll do what I can to hold up my end of the bargin.
Consider this, the first step.
