(The scene inside the condo of “Wrestling’s Bad Boy” Matt Barnes. As we open up in the living room area there doesn’t appear to be anyone around. So the camera scopes over the nice pad filled with many expensive objects. After panning the area few moments longer there is still no sign of life, which is until we hear…the amazing voice of Matt Barnes himself. It appears to be coming from down the hall, but still little too far away to make out what he is saying. So the camera walks down the hall in the direction of that magnificent voice. We finally spot a room where it’s coming from, but can’t see in as the door is partially shut. However we can hear a shower get turned off. Alerting us to the fact that we are gazing on the door of Mr. Barnes’ bathroom. We wait a few minutes until we hear.)
“Would you look at that…No seriously would you take a good look at that…Seriously would you just look at it?”
(Red flags immediately go up when hearing this dialog inside the bathroom. Who is Matt talking to? Is he talking to anyone? Does he have a lady friend in there with him? What is he so fascinated by? What does he really want us to look at? Do we want to look? Is it appropriate? Well with curiosity getting the best of us, the door is pushed open by the camera and there we see what “Wrestling’s Bad Boy” wanted us to look it…HIMSELF…There he is, wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist, staring at himself in the still steamed up window…He stands there flexing into the mirror, as he basically does an entire profile from each side of his body. He acknowledges the camera with a little wink, but quickly brings his attention back to himself. He addresses the situation.)
“Seriously just fucking look at that…How can I not get pumped every time I look in the mirror and see this great physique staring back at me? It takes some damn hard work to maintain, but god damn the results are worth it. (more flexing. Slight pause) Wait don’t do that. Come on now!”
(Matt gets irritated when the mirror begins fogging up more on him. The bathroom is very steamy as Matt enjoys his showers very hot. To make sure he gets rid of all that stank and germs he gets from dealing with the rest of the trash he interacts with. He quickly grabs a towel on the by the sink and rubs hard on the mirror. Eliminating the fog to show Matt in all his glory again.)
“Whew…that’s better. Now you know for past few days after last Climax Control, I have been beating myself up over the fact I can’t get off this losing streak. And I mean come on…Losing to that Sean Paul looking bastard is really a knock on the ego. That fucking loser, Blaque Hart Evans, is…well he’s a fucking loser…Sorry I know you look to me for magical references to belittle people. But sometimes the basics are all that needs to be said. I mean Evans is truly just a loser. He has wrestlers for many years and he still is battling newcomers like myself. You see I have a reason for still being on the bottom of the card. I am new to this business. What’s your reasoning Evans?...Oh let me answer that for you. Because you’re a fucking loser and you suck! Sorry to be so blunt, but it’s the truth. You’re not as good as you think. Period. End of Story!”
(Matt stops from the posing and flexing for a moment. He takes out a shaving kit from the drawer until the sink and gets out some shaving cream. He applies some to the needed areas of his face. As he begins shaving…he continues.)
“Now yes I know that I lost Evans…I’m not senile…I know exactly what went down. He beat me fair and square…Actually I shouldn’t say that…Because it wasn’t exactly fair…You see I was having a serious medical condition that day, and I really shouldn’t have been in that ring to begin with. You see I suffer from migraines from time to time. The doctors say it’s normal for successful business men , like myself, because of all the stress we have to deal with when we work with incompetent retards….And unfortunately last Sunday I suffered from a severe migraine…Most likely cause by the fact that I knew I had to work with a loser in Evans. Now I don’t know if you people know about migraines. But they suck. It’s the worst pain you can think of. And any kind of activity or light makes it unbearable….So let’s see, no light and no contact. Wrestling ring is probably not the best atmosphere…Oh yeah noise kind of sucks too, but I’m sure you get that.”
(Matt stops as he finishes up his shaving. He notices spot around side burns that he missed. He puts shaving cream on that spot and continues.)
“But despite that setback…I still thought I had a chance to win. I still thought me at 10% of my normal self was better than Evans. But even I was over my head. Instead of calling off the match and rescheduling…I decided to put my health on the line to put a show on for all of you…And unfortunately I failed…Now I’m not looking for pity…Shit I’m Matt fucking Barnes…Nobody should pitty me…Truth is I just wanted to clarify what the problem was that night.”
(Matt clears the remaining cream from his face with a towel. He looks at himself and smiles. He snaps a little air gun into the mirror.)
“In fact, I’m already past that match. Yeah I might have let it bother me for a few days, but then that quickly faded…And why did it fade? Well come on…When I look in the mirror and see my reflection it just reminds me of how great I am. I mean…seriously…would you just take a look at me”
(Matt reaches back in his kit and pulls out a electric razor to touch up his awesome goatee and side burns. He talks over the sound as he turns the razor on.)
“Now quickly moving on this coming week I have to face the jackass Jamie Staggs…Oh boy…Lucky me!...I get to wrestle a grown ass man who likes to pretend he’s a teenager. With his goofy ass antics and his below average IQ…I mean seriously is that dude for real? Is he serious with that act? Or is it just a ploy? Maybe he thinks women are attracted to that kind of charm? I mean seriously what is it? Why would someone voluntarily act like a retard for on TV? Or is that it? Is he legally retarded?”
(Matt finishes up with his trim. He turns and looks straight into the camera.)
“IN fact…I’m convinced every damn wrestler on the roster has a retarded side…And actually I shouldn’t stop there…I think the staff of SCW is missing a few brain cells as well…They don’t know how to run a successful company…IF they were smart they would come beg to me to help set them up with a business plan and model they can follow…But they haven’t…Instead they let these half-ass talented wrestlers running around like it’s a damn asylum. I’m starting to wonder what the hell I am doing here. Maybe it’s time I reflect my real purpose of why I joined the wrestling world.”
(Matt looks back in the mirror and stares at himself for a few more minutes….Literally minutes….He won’t stop taking his eyes of himself. He clearly forgot he was still cutting a promo..Because of course his attention span only begins and ends with himself…It’s like he is playing a staring contest game with himself. Finally someone must have somehow lost. As he takes his eyes off the mirror and picks up a watch and puts it on. He then takes a look at the time and quickly realizes he must be late. He turns to camera.)
“Wow…it’s 6:30 already…I was supposed to meet this smoking hot blonde, with big ass tits at 5:00, at the restaurant for dinner. Damn…”
(He pauses for a minute than just shrugs his shoulders.)
“Oh well it took longer for me to get ready than I thought. I figured 3 hours was enough….I guess not…After all perfection goes by it’s own time…That bitch better still be there waiting for me though…”
(Matt throws some deodorant under his arms.)
“So it’s time you guys get the fuck out of my place. It probably wouldn’t be a gentlemen thing to do and make her wait any longer….I know Jamie Staggs probably wanted more air time from “Wrestling’s Bad Boy.” You probably are mad I’m cutting down on your ten seconds of fame from me addressing you…But obviously I have better things to do, and I’m out of time…So just so you don’t feel completely unwanted…I’ll just finish this with….I’m going to kick you ass….yada yada yada…you’re a jackass….After I win I want a title shot…Now get lost!”
(The camera turns and starts leaving the room, but right as it’s about to exit Matt calls back.)
“Hold up…Just one last time just look at it…Seriously would you just look at it.”
(We turn to see Matt in full flex mode..Check out the picture below and enjoy ladies.)
