Author Topic: Stoned and Toasty  (Read 2036 times)

Offline "Stoner" Scott Oliver

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Stoned and Toasty
« on: November 18, 2011, 07:58:34 PM »
 The scene opens in a dimly lit bedroom. It appears as if the room is only lit by a lava lamp sitting on a bedside table. The green balls of “lava” float around in the illuminated liquid. A light fog layers the room. An open pizza box is lying across the bed with two slices of cheese pizza still inhabiting it. “Another Brick in the Wall” by Pink Floyd can be heard playing softly until it is overpowered by a loud bubbling sound followed by some coughing. The camera turns to see former GXW superstar “Stoner” Scott Oliver putting something on the floor.

Stoner: That’s some good sh*t.

Another bubbling sound followed by coughing is heard as Stoner’s cell phone lights up. He picks up the phone and looks at it. He flips it open and puts it to his ear.

Stoner: Sup, T-Dawg?

T-Dawg: Sup, Dude? You holding?

Stoner picks up a sandwich bag and eyes the contents. He shakes his head.

Stoner: Nope. I’m getting more Saturday though.

T-Dawg: Sh*t! Alright. I’ll just hit up Jay.

Stoner: Okay. Hit me up later.

T-Dawg: Okay. Later.

Stoner starts pulling the phone away from his ear.

T-Dawg: Oh! Dude!

Stoner puts the phone back to his ear.

Stoner: Sup?

T-Dawg: You know how you used to wrestle with “Hot Stuff” Mark Ward and Christian Underwood back in GXW?

Stoner: Uh… yeah.

T-Dawg: You hear they’re opening their own wrestling company in Las Vegas?

Stoner: You’re kidding! Vegas?

T-Dawg: Yup. I hear that they’ve been bringing in a lot of old GXW guys too. Might be a chance to get some steady work.

Stoner: Not a bad idea. Might have to get my ass down to Vegas after I’m done with my stash.

T-Dawg: Wait, I thought you said you weren’t holding.

Stoner: Uhh…

Stoner starts making really bad static sounds.

Stoner: I think… *Static* break…*Static*

Stoner flips his phone closed and laughs a typical stoner laugh. (You know the one I’m talking about)

Stoner: That was close.

Stoner picks up the device he put on the floor as the scene fades.



*** SEVERAL DAYS LATER***


There is a knock on the door to the office of Christian Underwood. Christian looks up from the papers that he’s going over.

Christian: Come in.

The door opens and a disheveled “Stoner” Scott Oliver walks in. His hair is all over the place, his sweatshirt only has one arm through it, and he’s missing a shoe. Christian gives him a once over.

Christian: What the hell happened to you?

Stoner: Don’t ask. You don’t wanna know the things I had to go through to get here from Jersey. Let’s just say that I have seen some sh*t.

Christian: That’s good to know. Now, who are you and what are you doing in my office?

Stoner: Dude! You don’t remember me? We used to wrestle together back in GXW.

Christian: WE wrestled together? I doubt that.

Stoner: Well, not together so much, but you wrestled and I… well… I mostly watched from backstage.

Christian: Let me guess. You want to be part of SCW?

Stoner: Chya! I totally wanna get back in the ring. Think you can hook me up?

Christian leans back in his chair.

Christian: Well, I can’t just give you a roster spot without seeing what you can do. Normally, I’d say that you can try out for a spot in private but I have a feeling that it’d be much more entertaining to put you in an actual match. So on the next show, I’ll put you in a match against Nick Jones.

Stoner: Nick Jones? That dude’s good!

Christian (sarcastically): Chya!

Stoner: Chya!

Christian: If you can beat Nick Jones, I’ll give you a full-time contract.

Stoner: What if I don’t win?

Christian: If you don’t win, then you’ll probably go back to smoking your…

BONG!!!

Christian: That was my Chinese gong wall clock.

The camera shifts to a wall clock with a gong hanging from the bottom.

Christian: And look at the time! I’ll see you next weekend for your match. I recommend you don’t show up smelling like that.

Stoner: Smelling like what?

Christian just smiles at him.

Christian: Bye.

Stoner: Oh. Okay. Bye.

Stoner walks out of the office and closes the door behind him. Christian pulls out a bottle of air freshener. He sprays it across the room and takes a deep breath.

Christian: That’s better. That kid needs to stay off the…

BONG!!!

Christian: I need a different clock.

The scene fades.