Something you're missing made you who you were
'Cause I've kept my distance, it just made it worse
But I've learned to live with the way that it hurts
Chapter 71: Specter
This isn’t the first time I’ve been engaged.
I know, shocking right? But it’s true. This is, however, the first time that I was proud to tell my mother what was going on. Last time I was getting engaged to someone who had no idea what it meant to be in a relationship and a partnership. I was engaged to a man who believed that he owned me. The engagement ring that he gave me was more like a collar that he had put around my neck. Like you would to a pet. A deed of ownership.
That seems to be a running theme.
The second time I got engaged, I didn’t even get to answer the question. This time I travelled to tell my mother exactly what had happened, last time it was announced in front of her. She had no idea, she wasn’t given any warning. And strangely enough, neither was I. But this time was different. This time I was making the trip out to see her and tell her exactly what had happened. And while I knew that she would be happy for me, I was also terrified. I couldn’t help myself. I didn’t know how she was going to react.
In the grand scheme of things, I suppose it didn’t really matter. No matter what my mother said or did, it was not going to change the fact that I was now engaged to Finn Whelan. I’m going to marry this man and nothing that my mother could say or do was going to stop that. I knew that deep down. But it was still nice that I got to tell her. Instead of what happened when Matt Shields decided to just tell everyone that he had decided to take me as his wife.
That day was one of the most embarrassing and infuriating in my entire life.
My mother looked at me, she had this facial expression that I had seen before. It wasn’t a facial expression that was full of anger or embarrassment. No, this facial expression was one of disappointment. She was disappointed in me and disappointed in the situation. She knew damn well that my relationship with Matt was not going to last and I had gotten myself into a hole that I could have gotten out of easily. In fact, I could’ve done it at that moment when Matt announced that we were engaged. I could have and should have slapped him in the face and told him to get the fuck out of my mother’s house.
But I didn’t, and now all I can think of is the stark difference in reactions.
”Kay! This is a surprise. What are you doing here?”
”Lovely welcome, mother” I rolled my eyes and smiled before stepping into her little three-bedroom house. Her long black hair was tied back in a high ponytail, but she was dressed very similar to me. While I wore black jeans and converse with a black halter top, she wore the same style top but with blue jeans. She looked like a slightly older version of myself and my older sister Amber. The three of us all having long black hair, green eyes, and tattoos. The odd one out was, of course, my baby sister Tasmin with her long blonde hair and blue eyes.
My mother shook her head as she stared at me. I know she didn’t mean to sound how she sounded, but I was still going to give her shit. ”I’m just surprised, that’s all. You normally call before you come around. Turning up unannounced is more your older sister’s thing.”
I chuckled again and moved into the kitchen. I picked up her electric jug, pulling the top off and filling it with water before placing it back down and flicking on the switch. Grabbing two cups, I put a teabag in each and some sweeteners before turning around and leaning against the kitchen bench. ”I’m not allowed to drop in and see my mother? Besides, I wanted to surprise you. And flying all the way back to New York is not really my idea of a good time, so feel grateful.” I raised my eyebrows and stared across the kitchen at her.
She rolled her eyes and shook her head before sitting down at her little kitchen table and looking up at me. ”Right, calm down, you little dramatic bitch.” I couldn’t help but laugh at that one. She smiled warmly, I know she was happy to see me. Over the last few years I had gotten a lot closer to my mother. Not that I ever had a problem with her, but there was a time when our relationship was strained. But not anymore.
The electric kettle finished boiling. I turned and made our cups of tea before setting one down in front of my mother and the other in front of myself as I sat down. ”Speaking of flying back to New York, how are you coping with me not being around? Does Amber come and see you and actually spend time with you?”
”She does. But I spend a lot of time with your nieces. Nova and Luna remind me so much of you and Amber when you were little girls. You two weren’t twins but you might as well have been.” I took a sip of my tea and smiled. She was right. There were three years between myself and Amber, but looking at us you’d think we were twins. ”You didn’t just come here to see me and check that your sister was popping around. Cut the shit and tell me what’s going on.”
She knew I was there for a reason. My mother isn’t stupid. She knew damn well that I wouldn’t be dropping around just to say hello. If I was visiting her out of the blue, then it was for a reason. I cleared my throat and smiled before moving my hand, which I had strategically kept hidden from her, onto the table. Her eyes trailed down to my hand, they lit up, and she smiled. ”Finn asked me to marry him. And I said yes.”
There was a lump in my throat. Even though, as I said, I knew it was my decision and there was nothing that my mother could say to stop that, there was always going to be the small voice in my head that needed her approval. This anxiety-driven movement inside myself that wanted to please her and have her blessing. ”That’s amazing… I’m so happy for you! Congratulations.” I let out a deep breath, all of the weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and as my mother smiled and stood up to walk around and give me a hug, I felt like I could breathe again.
”Thank you… it was most definitely a shock. I wasn’t expecting him to ask me to marry him, let alone on a cruise ship, which was also a wrestling show. It’s probably the most ‘us’ thing that would ever happen, to be honest with you.”
My mother sat back down and just laughed. She shook her head and took a sip of her tea. ”You didn’t expect it? You two are perfect for one another. And I’m glad that he’s decided to ask you to marry him. You two really are the perfect couple.”
The rest of the visit went perfectly fine. She and I talked and laughed, made plans for her to come out to Colorado. But I had to say my goodbyes and come back home. And as the Uber stopped out the front of my home, I had a warm and fuzzy feeling of relief wash over me. This was my home, and now it was also where I was going to spend the rest of my life with the man that I love. I walked inside, going around the corner and stopping as I found a package leaning against the door.
I picked it up and went inside. Finn was not home, no one was home. I looked down and read the card. Not helping myself, I read it aloud. ”Congratulations…” I know the word gets around, but we had barely told anyone. I shrugged and opened the package, my heart stopping. My hand trembled as I reached in and I pulled out a small thin black rope. It was small enough that it could be tied around a wrist. I knew exactly what it was. And I knew exactly who it had come from and the message it was sending.
”Jace…”
A bridesmaid
The sun was shining, it was a gorgeous day with not a cloud in the sky. It was a bright blue day with the sun beating down. And sitting underneath a large umbrella was Kayla Richards, the current SCW World Bombshell Champion.
”Before I talk about what I did to that idiot Diamond Caldwell last week, or before I go into my upcoming championship defence and what it could mean for this company, I feel like I need to get a few things off my chest. So if you would allow me a little bit of time to get on my soapbox for a moment, I need you all to listen to me.”
Kayla folded her arms over her chest, sitting back on the deck chair that she was currently relaxing on. She was in a black and red bikini with her hair flowing down her body, enjoying her time in the sun before Climax Control.
”I understand that listening and understanding are two completely different things, and I also understand that some of you won’t listen to anyone except for yourselves and the sound of your own voices. But I am on the verge of something unprecedented. You look back at how little time I have spent in this company without a championship around my waist or over my shoulder, and you’ll see that I am leading this company into a more profitable period. A period where women are the ones who are going to lead us into the future of professional wrestling."
“And I am the face of this company and the face of the Bombshells Division. And I will drag each and every one of you, kicking and screaming, to the top if I have to. But this company needs better challenges for me. The ageing stars of yesterday and the arrogant bitches who don’t want to come back to this company are a major problem. As happy as I am that certain veterans have decided not to come back here, I can’t argue that their star power is needed."
“But I am the champion and you will all respect me. Respect me and give me the common courtesy of your best whenever you step in the ring with me.”
Her teeth ground together as she looked around and reached over, grabbing her drink. She took a sip before putting it back down, the alcohol calming her a little bit.
”This is something that Diamond Caldwell didn’t do. She didn’t say anything before our match, she didn’t do anything before our match, and when it was time for us to get into the ring and go at it, she put up a performance most people would call pathetic. And against me that isn’t really a big deal, because I make all of you bitches look pathetic on a daily basis. But this was different. I’m used to facing some of you and knowing that you know you’ve been beaten before you step in the ring, but she had the look of a woman who had been defeated when she put pen to paper and signed her contract in this company."
“I deserve a better class of challenger. I deserve women who are going to get into the ring with me and do everything they can to beat me. And that’s what I want. You think I want easy matches? You think I want to face women like Bea Barnhart? Or Song? Or Diamond Caldwell? Or either of her wives?"
“No…"
“I want challenges. I want women in this company that will get into that ring with me and give me a run for my money and perhaps even beat me. How am I supposed to get even better than I am now without facing someone who can beat me? I’ve said it time and time again: every single woman who has beaten me, I’ve come back better than I was before, and I have ended up climbing the ladder and becoming one of the most dominant champions this company has ever seen. But without others to push me, I am in danger of becoming stagnant.”
She paused for a moment, taking another sip of her drink and running her hands through her hair.
”And that is where both of the women who have chances at the Bombshells Championship come in. You see, to keep me occupied, I now have not one but two number-one contenders. I have Andrea Hernandez, one of the very few women on this planet who can say they have a victory against me. She was supposed to be the next one to get a shot, but this company decided that before I get in the ring with her, I need to defend my championship. Apparently, others can get away with only doing it at Supercards, but I need to do it before then."
“As Finn would say, I have to fulfil my ‘contractual obligations’… and in doing so, this company put three women in the ring and told them whoever wins gets a shot against me and this championship a week later."
“And I have to be completely honest, Bella Madison winning that match was not on my bingo card. Alexandra Calaway and Victoria Lyons I thought had better shots at winning and coming after me. And I don’t want that to come off as a slight against Bella, because I like Bella. But Victoria had just come off this huge run as the Roulette Champion, as well as being a former Queen for a Day and also having a win over me in a mixed tag match… and Alexandra?"
“Well, I don’t think she’s a better professional wrestler than Bella, but she is sneaky. She’s the type of woman who will smile and be sweet to your face, and the second you turn around she’ll be looking for a soft spot to stick the knife and twist it. And normally I admire that in an opponent. So that’s why I believed Bella was the least likely to win that match and have a shot at me. But now we have a ‘what if’ scenario happening?”
Kayla finished her alcoholic beverage and stood up, stepping out from under the large umbrella, letting her body get hit with the sunlight and the heat. She took a deep breath and looked at the beautiful blue ocean in front of her.
”What if Bella is able to beat me? What if she shocks the world? Can you imagine? Part of me kind of hopes that happens, because I know Andrea Hernandez would have an absolute brain aneurysm if Bella was able to beat me and was the one going into the Supercard with the championship to face Andrea. She would lose her shit. And there is a small part of me that would love to see it happen. But unfortunately, I can’t let that happen. And as I mentioned before, Bella, I like you. I do. You remind me a lot of my younger sister—the way you try and see the positives in everything, but you still have just enough of that bitch factor in you that no one really wants to cross you."
“You are always the bridesmaid and never the bride. Always taking two steps forward but three steps back. You won that triple threat and earned yourself a match against me, but do you really believe anyone thinks that you’re going to be able to beat me? All the promotional material is already done for the match against myself and Andrea for this championship. Think of those poor people who work tireless hours in the truck doing graphics for this company. Do you really want them to have to redo all the graphics just because you got a fluke? Do you think that’s fair to them, Bella? I don’t. Even though all of our graphics lately have started looking a hell of a lot better."
“The old ones looked like they were done by a 5-year-old with Down syndrome who just discovered what MS Paint is."
“But you still earned yourself a shot, and you should be proud of that. But here’s the thing. You are now getting into the ring with the biggest, baddest bitch in the yard. See, I’m the one who walks around here holding the gold that everyone wants. This is the championship that everyone dreams about. But not everyone gets to be champion. Not everyone gets to say that they’re the best. And you are, unfortunately, one of those people. And I’ll tell you why. It has nothing to do with how good you are or how good you aren’t.”
Kayla walked along the beach, dipping her toes into the sand and then into the water. She took a deep breath.
”You are definitely good enough to be the Bombshells Champion. You have all the skills, you have the pedigree. You were born into this business, and you have done so much work on yourself and in getting better time and time again. But the reason why you will never touch this championship as long as I’m champion is because you are too sentimental. You have too much heart. But not heart in the way that drives you to keep going when you take a beating."
“I’ll give you an example. When the Blast from the Past happened and your mother decided to step foot in an SCW ring, you did not immediately tell her to stop, turn around, and fuck off. You didn’t tell her that it was a bad idea. And I don’t mean a bad idea for her, because your mother showed that she can still go and she’s still one of the best professional wrestlers on this planet, and truth be told, I’m going to wish it was her who was standing across the ring from me on Climax Control and not you."
“But… that’s just it, kid. That right there is the problem."
“You have been in this company carving a path out for yourself. A niche for yourself. Going your own way and doing your own thing to the point where people were no longer looking at you and seeing your mother. They were looking at you and seeing Bella Madison. They weren’t seeing your father and they weren’t seeing your mother. They were seeing you. And all of that got wiped away when your mother decided to come to this company. And instead of going to her and telling her not to do it, you stepped back and smiled. Just like your mother will be smiling when she sees her baby girl go against me for the World Championship, and she will be doing everything in her power to make you believe that you can beat me."
“At the end of the day, your mother’s love is a beautiful thing, Bella. But that is why you and people like you and your mother are different from me. Everyone talks about how I’m not a good person or I’m a bitch or I’m arrogant. But what I really am is honest. Your mother’s not going to be honest with you. She’s not going to tell you you don’t have a chance against me. Just like you didn’t tell her that you didn’t want her in the Blast from the Past. You both lie to each other—blatantly. The people like me tell the truth. The truth isn’t convenient, the truth is rarely something that people want to hear. But the truth is all I have ever told. And the truth is, Bella…"
“I’m going to end you on Climax Control and send you back to the Internet Division where you belong.”
