3-30-2025
It was a week after the chamber and as I sat on a bench swing in my backyard, I wasn’t over it. I was still rather heartbroken by the outcome of it. I wasn’t the SCW Bombshells World Champion anymore and just like the first reign, I couldn’t even make it past one supercard with it. That really sucked worst of all and I was just at a loss being alone with my thoughts.
“What the hell could I have done better?” I asked myself in my mind. “I can’t help but feeling that this is completely unfair. I win the championship again after all these years and then I get thrown into a situation like that? Why does this keep happening to me? Why is every chapter of my second run playing out exactly like my first? That’s the worst part of all of it and I can’t seem to shake it. I’m tired of it and I just want things to be different for a change….”
I paused my thoughts and there was no question in my mind that my frustration and sullenness was completely overwhelming me. I wasn’t thinking straight. I was sifting through the chamber trying to figure out something. I was trying to find any part of that match, any piece of the puzzle, something that I missed, something that I did wrong. However, my frustration was growing when I realized that I couldn’t figure out anything.
“Are you doing any better?” I heard Roddy ask me as he came outside to sit next to me. I couldn’t even look at him considering how disappointed and heartbroken I still was and the moment he looked into my eyes, he realized that I was still in a bad way.
“What could I have done different, Roddy?” I asked him, drawing a sign from my oldest brother.
“Andrea, sometimes, you come across a situation where you do everything right, prepare for everything right, have the right mindset and all of that and it still doesn’t go your way.”
“Don’t tell me…”
“You were in a shitty situation with the chamber and the odds that you had to overcome. Considering that situation, the truth that sucks is that you did everything you could possibly do and there was nothing different, nothing better, that you could’ve done.”
My eyes widened a bit being presented with this harsh reality.
“...it just wasn’t meant to be…”
That was my cue for the tears to start falling, but in the midst of all of that sadness, an anger was filling me and that became the dominant emotion of my own mind.
“It’s not fair…” I uttered, catching him off guard. “...it’s not FUCKING fair. Why did there even HAVE to be a chamber at all? Why did it have to be ME in that situation?”
“Look, I’m sorry that you had the worst possible timing and luck with all of that but you need to do what you have to do to get back on your feet, shake it off, go for it again and then you’ll win it back and have another chance to have that satisfying world title reign in SCW that you’ve always wanted. You’re at the peak of your powers right now and only getting better and this isn’t the time to fall apart and lose sight of that. You’re still in that title picture. I understand you hate how hard it can be and everything, but it can only get better…”
“How many times can I hear that and other words of encouragement and stick to that mantra until things actually DO get better? I’m TIRED of all this, Roddy…”
Roddy is confused with where Andrea is coming from.
“What do you mean? What are you tired of?”
“Why is my second run going EXACTLY like my first run? I’m so GOD DAMN SICK OF IT”
“Don’t yell, Andrea.”
“Well maybe I need to this one time because it’s literally all the FUCKING SAME: I start off with an undefeated streak, I face the world champion in Tucson… LOSE that match and LOSE my first shot at a world title, I beat Crystal Hilton, I get another shot, I WIN the championship this time, and in the first supercard defense, I lose it! IT’S ALL THE SAME! Every chapter! Every bit of it! ALL! THE! SAME! WHY does it have to be exactly the same? My entire story in Sin City Wrestling might as well be titled Groundhog’s Day! It’s so frustrating, it’s so annoying! Is having that fulfilling reign and having the story be DIFFERENT too much to ask for? FUCK, Roddy, what do I have to do?”
Roddy sensed that I was losing my cool so he gently places his hands on my shoulders.
“Hey, let’s start off by calming down for a second, alright?”
A few tears of frustration were really falling down my face at this point. It all felt like the same again.
“What’s next? You suddenly die just like Dad did?”
“Okay, that’s a little too dramatic, Andrea. Come on.”
“I finally got his acceptance and then he got his heart attack and I haven’t had your acceptance for very long, so I don’t fucking know!”
“Andrea, you need to listen to me. Calm the fuck down. Don’t blow this up bigger than it actually is. I understand that you want the story to change and that you want it to be different. I get you’re frustrated with everything playing out exactly the same as five years ago. But you can get that title back. You can beat Kayla one on one a second time. You’ve already done it, sis. Just challenge her to a rematch and settle this thing one on one because if you take the chamber, which WASN’T a one on one match, it’s literally one to one. Challenge her and win it back and the cycle is broken.”
“I’m not stupid, Roddy. Challenge her again and LOSE?”
“Why would you lose?” Roddy said, his frustration increasing.
“I lost when I got my rematch five years ago and if everything HAS to play out…”
“ANDREA! STOP!” he yelled.
“No! YOU stop! I’m fucking cursed to relive the same fucking heartbreak and frustration from 2020 all over again.”
“NO YOU’RE NOT! FUCK! You need to get over the stupid ‘groundhog’s day” shit! What the fuck is that going to do for you? You want me to be honest with you? I don’t give a fuck about what happened five years ago! That’s ancient history! You’re stuck in this time warp and letting that get to your head when you KNOW better and when you’ve PROVEN that you’re better than all of that! I am seeing the Andrea that turned her back on the fans and everything Dad stood for all over again! You’re not going to relapse back to that. It’s all just a COINCIDENCE Andrea… a very… weird… fucked up COINCIDENCE! There’s no curse! You want things to be different? Then ACT fucking different! THINK fucking different! I know Evie Jordan put you through a LOT of horrible shit, but Jesus fucking Christ!”
I was starting to slightly hyperventilate, but not to the point where I couldn’t function.
“Let me ask you an honest question. Why do you do this to yourself? You never fully buy into how special you are. Why? Don’t be acting like such a fucking child, Andrea.”
“Oh I’m a child now?” I said, without thinking straight.
“I never said that…”
“Get the fuck out of my house right now.” I snapped.
“Andrea…”
“Get the FUCK OUT, Roddy! I don’t need you to bully me again!”
“I’m not…” Roddy stops himself and throws up his hands in frustration. “Fine. Call me when you want to snap out of this. You’re having a moment and sometimes, a slip and a fall when your mind is going a hundred miles an hour will happen. That’s what’s going on, so I’ll give you your space. But do yourself a favor and please, for once, realize how special you truly are.”
I didn’t say a word through my own tears before Roddy left my backyard and subsequently my house. I sat alone for another or or so lamenting that things felt like they were all the same and that suddenly, it was a doom and gloom all over again.
Obviously, in the weeks since, I’ve come to regret how I acted in this private moment.
5-9-2025
I’ve since come out of my moment and my slip and found myself at another blast from the past, this time regarding the GCW Hall of Fame. The ceremony for myself and the “Utopia” faction that I was a part of with Myra and Chelsea at the start of my mainstream career 9 years ago is tomorrow, but for the time being, Myra took Chelsea and I to the Biltmore Hotel in Phoenix where we first met and formed the faction to begin with. I was feeling very awkward considering that the last time the Hall of Fame subject was brought up between us, I was acting irrational and lashing out plenty. As the three of us talked in the suite Myra brought us to, that guilt was really swallowing me whole.
“I’m sorry…:” I meekly said to both of them, catching them by surprise.
“Pardon?” Chelsea asked.
“For how I acted during the lunch that we did a while ago…” I said with a sigh. Myra was very understanding.
“GCW wasn’t a good time for you, Andrea…” Myra reminds me.
“You really shouldn’t sweat that…” Chelsea added. “...like Myra said, you struggled plenty in GCW and you suddenly had to leave the moment you FINALLY started finding your feet. I don’t blame you for not being enthusiastic about Utopia, a faction you have negative connotations about in your mind, being what you’re going into our first Hall of Fame for. You haven’t had a thing to do with GCW since we left.”
“Touche…:” I conceded. “So many painful memories and Utopia was never a good time for me. It was my foot in the door for wrestling in front of a worldwide audience and evolving into the wrestler that I’ve become ever since, but I associate it with pain, with abuse, with Myra’s ex treating me like trash and telling me that I’m the 4th banana many different ways, with you getting all the attention and adulation…”
“I hate to bring up the fact that… um…” Chelsea pauses and awkwardly looks at Myra. “...only I was meant to be part of that faction originally…”
My anger just spiked a bit.
“But you know I always had your back and always did in that situation and I was never going to be part of it without you.”
“It didn’t stop Myra from…” I was the one awkwardly pausing and looking at her now. “...I’m not finishing that thought.
Myra suddenly hung her head in guilt.
“It’s okay. Let it all out. Say what you want. I’m not that cruel, ruthless person I was back then and as I was to you.”
“It didn’t stop you from treating me like a redheaded stepchild, Myra…”
Chelsea was biting her lower lip with nervousness.
“When I think of GCW and when I think of Utopia, all I think about is how you were a FUCKING HORRIBLE MENTOR TO ME…”
Myra winces with shame for a split second as I continued my rant.
“...it wasn’t just favoring Chelsea over me. It was you and your ex constantly bullying me backstage, on social media and even in front of the cameras. You constantly ABUSED ME! You ripped off my shirt and whipped me with a belt on live TV in front of everyone! You told me I was never going to amount to anything in this business, Myra! You said I never deserved to amount to anything. And you know what… now that I REALLY think about it… all of the struggles I’ve ever had with Sin City Wrestling, finding myself there, my confidence, how I constantly worry, have a mental breakdown even now, as I did a week after losing the title for the second time, the dark path I was on five years ago for the rest of my first run…”
Tears formed in my eyes as I stared a hole through Myra’s heart.
“It was all because of YOU! Had you NEVER abused me the way you did, I would’ve developed a much better confidence in myself far earlier than I actually did! I would’ve beaten Alicia in Tucson. I would’ve beaten Evie! I would’ve told Crystal Hilton to fuck off the moment I met that garbage bitch! I would’ve never had mental health issues that forced me to leave and even NOW, I still struggle! I feel so STUPID for forgiving you and even allowing you to be a part of my life at ALL!”
“Fucking hell Andrea…” Chelsea says with a shocked gasp while I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.
“So why the FUCK would I want to be part of a ceremony commemorating something that traumatized me for years and has had a profound affect on my career, even now?”
I wasn’t surprised to see Myra hang her head with tears of her own.
“Andrea, the words ‘I’m sorry’ aren’t enough for a situation like this. If you really don’t want me to be part of your life anymore, I don’t blame you. I should’ve nurtured you so much better and all these years I wish I did, but all I did back in that time was set you up for failure for the future… especially and including SCW. You are right in everything you just said and to see you still struggle from time to time psychologically, to hear about that argument you had with Roddy and how you were in a pit doubting yourself after you lost that title again, it breaks my god damn heart knowing that I took a soul like you, so innocent, and fucking ruined her… I ruined you Andrea… and I don’t think I ever deserved your forgiveness. The fact that you even forgave me at all shows you that you’re a bigger, better person than I am.”
I sighed with relief and I could already sense that I was starting to heal a bit.
“I am very sorry that my actions toward you had that profound effect on your career. You’d probably be in SCW’s Hall of Fame, which I understand would be far more satisfying for you, if it wasn’t for me.”
“I’m not cutting you out of my life… come here…”
Myra and I tearfully hugged it out, resolving any remaining bitter feelings between us from years ago.
“...you’ve more than redeemed yourself to me for all of your help and for being a much better mentor in recent years.”
“I’m glad you’re finding peace Andrea…” Chelsea said. “But maybe it’s not such a good idea for you to go to the ceremony considering what Utopia and GCW represents for you.”
“Chelsea…” I began as Myra and I broke our embrace. “I’m going. I have to. It’s the only way I can ever face the beginning chapters of my career and finally heal the root of the problem of why I don’t see how special I am…”
“Andrea, I’m here for you and I always will be…” Myra added. She and Chelsea left me alone to my thoughts, and the deep internal healing that just started in me…
Perfect timing…
That’s when my camera crew just happened to walk in. I was asked if I was ready to speak my mind regarding my match on Sunday and I assured them that I was. While I was healing from a piece of my past, I was also bringing up some of the same anger and frustration from the chamber match and the ‘cruel coincidence’ as Roddy put it of both my runs playing out exactly the same. Before long, the fact that I even had to THINK about Crystal Hilton again was pissing me off.
“I’ve been dealing with much frustration lately and I am not going to sugar coat that. I’m still angry about the Chamber, the entire situation I found myself in, the fact that I didn’t do what I wanted to do and that was to get past one supercard cycle with the title to finally put the first reign to rest, among other things. That’s why a few weeks ago, I was on Climax Control saying that it wasn’t going to end like that and there had to be a one on one tiebreaker and in a few weeks, that’s exactly what is going to happen. But, before I get there, I have to deal with Crystal Hilton. AGAIN! GOD, I am so fucking SICK of that woman. Granted, I’m not about to piledrive her through a television like I did that one time even if so many of the Internet wrestling fans are memeing that moment and saying ‘Andrea did nothing wrong’, but STILL! Crystal, I’m not holding back here. You’re a fucking tick on my ass, a piece of dog shit that gets stuck to the bottom of my hundred dollar Jimmy Choos, an acid reflux that can never pass soon enough and all the other metaphors you can think of. I can’t stand you, never could, never will and facing you again when I’m frustrated as all hell with so much anger over the last six weeks or so boiling is probably NOT the best thing for my blood pressure right now, but FUCK IT! The last time we faced off, the rivalry between us died. I guess this Sunday, I’ve got to put the damn coffin in the crypt, huh?”
I rolled my eyes, showing my frustration that I even had to deal with that woman again.
“Let’s talk about the last time, you know… when I beat you. I declared the rivalry over and that I was moving on with my life because I REFUSE to have YOUR NAME be a part of MY story any longer and the first thing you said on social media is how it wasn’t over and how you were going to end it on your terms. Fucking stalker obsession, much, bitch? Here’s the deal, the only person that you are obsessed with more than me is yourself. Isn’t that right, “best Latina in the business”.... Oh my GOD, you actually had the NERVE to say that. Crystal, let me ask you a very serious question. Bitch, how fucking bad is your CTE? Best Latine in the business? Bitch, you’re not even the fourth best Latina in Sin City Wrestling and hell, you’re not even the best Latina in ANY of the companies you wrestle for. Hell, even Bobbie Dahl is a better Latina than you and she’s not even Latina! Are you that fucking atttention starved, Crystal? Have you really fucking lost it? Oh you bet your ass you’ve lost it and not just in the ring. Mentally, you’ve fucking lost it and you’re just fucking embarrassing yourself now. Oh right, you want to pick social media fights acting like you matter and you’re even saying that you deserve all the attention and all this other shit to anyone that is willing to engage with your nonsense. You deserve all the attention for what? When was your last world championship in Sin City Wrestling, Crystal? Hell, when was the last time you even did a damn thing in this company? The Roulette title that was like 2 years ago? Sure, you beat Cassie Wolfe the same night I started my second title reign, but in that elimination chamber match, it was CASSIE that was in it, not you.
Where were you, Crystal? I didn’t see you there. Oh right, Mercedes Vargas… ANOTHER LATINA by the way… beat you to qualify for the match…
But you want to call yourself the best Latina in the business.
Child, PLEASE!
You’re ranting up a storm talking about how bullshit it is for you to face the Barnharts but maybe if you put JUST a little more effort into your fucking craft instead of being a fuckign attention whore on social media picking fights with everyone and talking shit just to talk shit, then MAYBE you wouldn’t be facing the Barnharts and MAYBE you’d actually still have a shred of dignity left but NO, stuck in the same egomaniacal cycle over and over again. How much longer until you decide to be apologetic and talk about being on your 8 millionth redemption run and how you’re going to prove yourself again and how things are going to be better and different only for things to devolve back to the same? I guess if I had to say one good thing about you is that for ONCE you’re showing who you really are and yeah girl, you are toxic as fuck and that’s why I never wanted anything to do with you and that’s why I never wanted to be your friend, never will be your friend and the only reason why I even allowed you into my life at ALL was because I didn’t have the confidence in myself that I do now to just straight up tell you to your face to FUCK OFF!
But you sure as hell won’t do that because from day one, you’ve been so fucking obsessed with me to the point where there are fan theories out there that feel like you want to marry me as a second wife… third wife… I don’t fucking know. Don’t think I haven’t heard the hypocrisy in your words when you were going into your match against Cassie Wolfe. Don’t think that I don’t know about how you were talking that bullshit about how our last match “isn’t the last time she’ll hear from me”. It’s sickening and disgusting, this obsession you have over me and it needs to fucking stop. Seriously. It could get to a point where you suddenly pull a gun on me when your CTE kicks in and you threaten to kill me because I don’t want to be your friend and I am NOT even JOKING about that. I should seriously consider a restraining order on you at this point. Let me quote you on some of the things you said about Cassie Wolfe when you faced her…
Something along the lines of how she dropped the ball and how you don’t see a future in her. HUH… well, who would know more about dropping the ball than the bitch that has dropped the ball pretty much more times than anyone in the history of the Bombshells division, right? And as for her future? Well, the jury is still out on that one. She was in the chamber after all, you know, the same chamber you missed out on by losing to fucking Mercedes Vargas? So, while the jury is still out on her future, I can say with full fledged confidence that at this very moment, in Sin City Wrestling, she definitely has a brighter and better future than you do, Crystal. Also great job on cheapening your own victory considering that you beat someone that in your words, dropped the ball and has no future. So really Crystal, when you consider that and when you consider your abject failure to even build off that win at all, what did that win actually mean in the long run for your career here?
Absolutely nothing!
You’re over there whining and bitching about how people don’t take you seriously anymore and how people think that you can’t hack it anymore yet as usual, you do absolutely nothing to change that perception. Nothing! That’s the Crystal Hilton special 1.0, by the way…. Whining and crying and complaining that people don’t respect her and that people don’t see her the way she wants to be seen yet does nothing to help herself or make her situation better. NOTHING! The last time I wrestled her, I went in there figuring that I was the ONE opponent that she was actually going to step in the ring with and get fired up about considering her never ending five year long obsession with me and what the fuck did I get in the ring that night? Someone that was nowhere close to a rival anymore. Period. That’s why I declared the rivalry dead and that’s why I moved on because I know that clinging on to any sort of rivalry with you wasn’t worth a damn thing anymore. I moved on, Crystal, because the truth of the matter is, I never wanted you involved in my career in the first place. I knew from the start that if I was ever friends with you, then I would turn out to be just like you and that my image and reputation was going to go down the fucking tubes just by being associated with you at all. I’m GLAD, Crystal, that I made that choice because I would’ve never found a way out of my hole. I would’ve never overcome my own demons. I would’ve never been mature enough to accept responsibility for my own actions and to change… and I mean REALLY change and do everything that I needed to do to grow as a person and be so much better than I was before.
You talked about redemption and practiced it for 2 months, went back to the same old shit, then rinse, cycle, repeat, for years and through it all, you ended up staying the same ass shit that you were five years ago… hell before we ever met at all. I only needed ONE redemption moment to get back on my feet, find myself as a person, come back to this company better than I was before and GAIN that respect that you WISH you could have and that at this point in your career considering your career has jumped at least five sharks by now, you will NEVER have and that’s not just THIS company. Hell, the fact that yesterday, you spent so much time screaming and shouting on social media to anyone that would listen in another company that you wrestle in trying to be the big dog in the yard that you’ll never be again talking about ‘best Latina in the business’ instead of actually TRYING to get up for this match that we have on Sunday yet again proves that you have no priorities, you have no passion for this, you’ll never get out of your own way, and the only ring you belong in is GROUP THERAPY working out your undiagnosed narcissistic personality disorder that you CLEARLY have with a group of people just as delusional as you are. You’re out there trying to act like J-Lo when you’re not even at Becky G’s level anymore! So come Sunday?
I’ll beat you.
AGAIN!
And maybe after tomorrow, I REALLY should get that restraining order.
How much longer are you going to embarrass your daddy? Seriously?
I rolled my eyes and signaled for the camera to cut at that point.
