[Andrew]

HITAMASHII IS GOING DOWN HARD

Narrator:  Well…well…well…we have a very interesting situation in a match coming up for the Climax Control on Sunday, April 27, 2025. The match is a BLAST FROM THE PAST match pitting Hitamashii against Bill Barnhart with the winner advancing in the BLAST FROM THE PAST Tournament. I will leave my opening comments at what I just stated and I will now turn you over to Bill Barnhart for his comments on his match.

The scene shifts and we get a shot of Bill and Bea Barnhart at their hotel room in Stockholm, Sweden. Their hotel is not far from the Avicii Arena and the two have settled in and Bill is ready for his Blast From The Past Tournament match against Hitamashii. Bill and Bea are both sitting on the couch and there is a coffee table in front of the couch. We notice that on the coffee table are two large cups of coffee. Both take a sip of their coffee then Bill informs the camera person that he and Bea are ready to present comments for his upcoming match against Hitamashii.

Bill:  I wish to thank those viewers who tuned in today so hear my comments on my upcoming BLAST FROM THE PAST TOURNAMENT match where I am facing Hitamashii. We are not strangers to each other as both of us spent time in wrestling federations on several occasions. Although I am still active in the sport of Wrestling it appears that Hitamashii wasn’t able to deal with the requirements of being an active wrestler so I guess he went into retirement. After I defeat him in our upcoming match I assure you Hitamashii will return to retirement while I move up in the BLAST FROM THE PAST TOURNAMENT.

Bea:  As Bill’s Manager I will be at ringside to ensure nothing suspicious or illegal happens in this match as Bill deserves a fair and legal match as he often gets attacked during his matches.

Bill and Bea pause their comments to drink more of their coffee before continuing with their comments.

Bill:  Although I have a history in the wrestling ring against Hitamashii when it comes to this upcoming BLAST FROM THE PAST TOURNAMENT match I have an overwhelming advantage over Hitamashii.

Bea:  Bill does not have a tiny advantage over Hitamashii. Bill does not have a small advantage over Hitamashii. Bill does not have a large advantage over Hitamashii. To put it straight up to you Bill has a huge, immense, and overwhelming advantage over Hitamashii.

Bill:  Thank you Bea. I am entering my BLAST FROM THE PAST TOURNAMENT match at 6 feet 4 inches in height and 240 pounds of weight. Hitamashii enters our match at 5 feet 8 inches and 192 pounds. That gives me 8 inches of height advantage over Hitamashii and 48 pounds of weight advantage over him. With that much of an advantage in height and weight Hitamashii is way out of his comfort zone.

Bea:  So, Hitamashii, can you say “I AM AT A MAJOR DISADVANTAGE AGAINST BILL BARNHART IN THIS UPCOMING MATCH” I knew you could.

Bill and Bea burst out in loud laughter at the major disadvantage Hitamashii has in facing Bill in this match. The two then finish drinking their coffee and when they are done Bill and Bea excuse themselves to go into the other room and brew two new cups of coffee. When the two get their coffee they return to the Couch, then they enjoy drinking their coffee, then they put their coffee cups down and continue with comments for Bill’s match against Hitamashii.

Bill:  I previously mentioned the advantage I have against Hitamashii in our match when it comes to Height and Weight with me having the overwhelming advantage over him. Now I would like to make a comment on how we have fared against each other over our wrestling careers. Of course Hitamashii’s wrestling career has been over for a long time while I am still fully active in the sport of wrestling. I do not have the overall win-loss record between myself and Hitamashii on file since that was a very long time ago. I figured after I beat him down, left him twisted and bruised, and he left the sport of wrestling probably because he couldn’t handle it any longer, there is no need for me to try to look up the entire win-loss record between us. Since Hitamashii came back in wrestling action just to give a shot at the BLAST FROM THE PAST TOURNAMENT doesn’t mean that after being retired for at least a decade Hitamashii now feels he is ready to take me on in a BLAST FROM THE PAST TOURNAMENT MATCH? That decision should go into the Guinness Book Of Records as the dumbest decision ever made.

Bea:  Does the Guinness Book Of Records have a category of DUMBEST DECISIONS EVER MADE?

Bill:  I have not personally seen that category as a world record but I would say Hitamashii should hold the top position in the DUMBEST DECISIONS EVER MADE category.

Bill and Bea bust out laughing again and it takes some time before both of them can stop laughing.

Bea:  We sure are having fun with the comments you are making for your match against Hitamashii.

Bill:  Hitamashii compared to me you are a tiny little bug. You are giving up 8 inches in height and 48 pounds of weight to me. Beating you down and defeating you will be as easy as squashing a bug. Hmmm. . .that just brought something to my mind. I will have the broadcast studio put the graphic up on the screen for you to watch.

CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO WATCH THE VIDEO

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/rGe8RKJn_NY

When the video ends both Bill and Bea are laughing loudly again.

Bill:  I showed you that video of Plankton, a character from the Spongebob Squarepants show, getting stepped on and squashed, because he is like you in that he is a tiny little pathetic bug and he is always at the disadvantage. But I am not done with just with that video.

Bea:  You have another video for Hitamashii? I thought you only had one video.

Bill:  The saying goes DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE AND DOUBLE YOUR FUN so I figured double the fun is the way to go. Now, Plankton. . .oops!. . .I mean Hitamashii. . .your attempts to out-talk and out-wrestle me is a joke. Talk about some pathetic stuff coming from a pathetic wrestler. Well, Hitamashii, I have another video for you to watch then I will probably leave you alone and stop teasing and demeaning you until our match on April 27th. So look into your television and take a look at this video.

CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO WATCH THE VIDEO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUVQz6_-vxc

This video ends and Bill and Bea are laughing loudly again.

Bill:  Hitamashii I never get tired of watching this Parrot screech out WHAT THE F*CK! as it shows that even a Parrot can see how useless you are as a wrestler since you have been retired from wrestling for a long time. I guess not every wrestler can be as awesome as I am.

Bea:  And SEXY Bill! You are one Sexy husband!

Bill and Bea pause their comments to high-five each other then Bill informs the camera person that he will give his closing comments for today.

Bill:  Here is the bottom line Hitamashii. I am taller than you, I am heavier than you. I am a better wrestler than you were back then and an even a better wrestler than you are today. You signed up for the 2025 Blast From The Past Tournament with the intent to accomplish something but the only thing you are going to accomplish is taking a brutal loss to me. I guess I should be thanking you for signing up as you being assigned as my opponent in my first match in the 2025 Blast From The Past Tournament means an easy win for me. I will be looking forward to seeing you inside the wrestling ring at the Avicii Arena in Stockholm, Sweden!

Bill and Bea inform the camera person that Bill is done with his comments on his match so the camera person calls into the Network to let them know and the Network cuts the camera feed and our screen goes dark.