EVERYONE SCREWS THINGS UP AND I AM HERE TO SET THEM STRAIGHT
Narrator: I had a long talk with Bill Barnhart before will go live to present his comments for his upcoming match at Climax Control 415. He didn’t give me specifics on what he is going to discuss but he assured me that it would be informative, amusing, and to-the-point. With that comment I turn you over to Bill Barnhart.
The camera view switches from the Narrator to a shot of Bill Barnhart and Bea Barnhart and it appears they are in the Hotel room they have rented for Climax Control. Bill will be facing off against Connor Murphy and Bea will be in Bill’s corner as his Manager. The assigned camera person lets Bill and Bea know they are going to live broadcasting in three…two…one…and we are live broadcasting.
Bill: I have to make the assumption that Connor Murphy will be watching my comments for our upcoming match. That way he cannot use the excuse that he didn’t know what he was getting himself into when he signed the contract to wrestle me. To start out my comments I want everyone to know that I have pounds of weight over Connor and I am also 3 inches taller than him. We had one match, which was a Triple Threat, and somehow Connor was able to take advantage of the awkward and clumsy The Troll for the win. Please take note that I was not pinned in that match so technically I didn’t directly lose the match. It was The Troll who f’d things up.
Bea: Nice opening comments Bill. Unlike most wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling who lie and try to deceive people with their comments you always tell the truth.
Bill: Bea I did not inform you what the contents and comments my promo for this match will contain as I wanted you to get the same effect as those currently watching.
Bea: This will be very interesting.
Bill: The first item I would like to bring up are stupid things that those who create cartoons do that irritate me because they are not factually correct. I will start with examples from Spongebob Squarepants then I will offer more examples from another cartoon named Phineas and Ferb. So, Connor, you are probably asking yourself why I am bringing up examples of stupid stuff from programs on television? It is very simple because I can use their stupidity in these cartoons to explain to everyone why are are stupid and you screw things up.
Bea: Which are you going to use as your first example?
Bill: I will use Spongebob Squarepants as their errors are so blatantly obvious you cannot ignore them. To start off everyone in Bikini Bottom where Spongebob and the other characters live is under the water. Deep under the water? So let me ask you something. Why do the residents of Bikini Bottom go to the beach and there is water lapping up on the sand? If they are underwater then there would not be any waves or water lapping up on the sand. Then you see people at Bikini Botto putting wood in a pile and having a campfire? Huh? They are under the water so how are they building fires? Then you have Mister Krabs who is, of course, a Crab, but his daughter named Pearl is a Whale. What in the hell is going on with the relationships Mr. Krabs had with a Whale that created his daughter Pearl?
Bea: I’ve watched the Spongebob Squarepants show with you but those concepts, or errors if you want to call them that, never came to my mind.
Bill: Now I will move on to the cartoon show named Phineas and Ferb. These two young boys create numerous scientific projects and amaze everyone while their sister, Candace, rung to their mother screaming that Phineas and Ferb created something but I never fails that as soon as their mother shows up the item Phineas and Ferb were working on has already disappeared.
Bea: Candace is surely out of her mind.
Bill: The other crazy thing is that their family has a pet Platypus named Perry. He is their pet he is also serves as a Spy in a Top Secret Spy Agency. In one episode the leader of the spy agency told his assistant that they are going to fly Perry the Platypus back to his home country so he will not get lonely. Here’s the crazy item in this episode of Phineas and Ferb. As they are flying the plane the Assistant to the Spy Agency Chief Officer asked the leader of the spy agency why they landed in Africa. The leader of the Spy Agency stated they are required to return Petty the Platypus back to his home country. The assistant to the leader of the Spy Agency comments that the only place in the world you find the Platypus is in Australia so the spy agency made a huge mistake. Unfortunately Disney never correct that glaring error from their writing staff and Perry never got returned to Australia. However Petty did get returned to Phineas and Ferb so all turned out nicely.
Bea: Are you ready to talk directly to Connor Murphy now?
Bill: Yep! Let me get a drink out of the refrigerator in the kitchen and then we can discuss the upcoming match.
Bill stands up and walks into the kitchen and he returns with two cans of Classic Coke. Bill returns to the chair he was sitting in earlier.
Bill: Well, Connor, we meet again. Before I go into comments about our match on Sunday I need to let the viewers know what is going on. The only match that both of us were involved in was the match on December 15, 2024, at Climax Control 412. It was a Triple Threat Roulette Wheel match where I faced off against Connor Murphy and The Troll. Due to the fact that Connor won the match by pinning the Troll tells everyone the truth of what happened in that match. Connor did not pin me nor did he make me submit in the match for the win. Hmmm…So if you hear Connor Murphy bragging how he defeated me in that match, instead of telling you the truth that he only pinned The Troll for the win, then he is guilty of making a huge mistake.
Bea: In the Philippines where I grew up parents and extended family got in your face to let you know that you have no right to brag about something that you were not involved in. Well that carries over, for me anyway, to here in the United States, where someone like you, Connor, brag about defeating me at Climax Control 412 when did not defeat me by pinfall, submission, or knockout, as you only won the match due to pinning The Troll.
Bill: So, Connor, you can talk all the crap you want but you have not yet defeated me in a wrestling match. Defeating The Troll in a Triple Threat match doesn’t mean you pinned me and it doesn’t mean you caused me to tap out. The interpretation of that is that you screwed things up by making a false claim. Now I am coming into our upcoming match to right the wrong you did by making that false claim. Have fun leading up to our match because once the bell rings and our match is officially underway you will lose to me.
Bill informs the camera person he is finished with his comments and the camera person cuts their camera feed and our screen goes dark.
