[The Troll]

Under the Bridge
Wisdom of the Troll

The camera opens up immediately on an oversized Santa hat with the Grinch stitched onto it. But then the hat pulls back and the face of the Troll is revealed and he has a smug expression on his kisser as he leans back on his worn out office chair, patched up with black tape. The surrounding area of his 'man cave' and desk setup has been 'prettied up' to look a bit more festive for the holiday season with Christmas lights adorning his chair and garland wrapped around every imaginable surface. He kicks back and clasps the fingers of both hands together and he shakes his head.

The Troll: Well, well, well! What have we here? The SCW Brass (once again) coming to your boy....

He RVDs his thumbs toward his shoulders before resuming his more 'serious' stance.

The Troll: ... 'The Troll' to save both its ass as well as its sagging ratings. You heard me. It's been how long? Since September? Before Mark Ward and Christian Underwood decided to realize just how important I am to not only the oocker room morale, but the ratings overall. And all I can do is thank god they didn't put me up against some loser rookies like this Logan Hunter or LJ Kasey. No, they have me up against two washed up old has-beens like....

**THUD!** **THUD!** **THUD!**

Before the Troll could continue, he was interrupted by the all too familiar banging on his ceiling, which of course was the floor to the upstairs of his shared home with his mom.

Mom: GABRIEL!!!

He sighs and closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

The Troll: Just once......

He pulls the headphones from his ear...

The Troll: Yeah, Ma?

Mom: ARE YOU READY TO TAKE ME TO THE MALL!? I WANNA GET TO THE HICKORY FARMS STORE BEFORE THEY SELL OUT OF THE SPICY BEEF PLATTERS!

The Troll: In a minute, Ma! I'm talking to my peeps!

Mom: ALRIGHT, SWEETY! TELL YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS I SAID HELLO!

The Troll: I will, Ma!

He sighs and shakes his head before continuing.

The Troll: Anyway, as I was sayi-

Mom: THEN MAYBE WE CAN EAT AT THE FOOD COURT SO I DON'T HAVE TO COOK SUPPER TONIGHT!

The Troll: Sounds good to me, Ma!

Back to the camera.

The Troll: As I was saying, they got me against two, washed up old men in "Bulldog" Bill Barnhart and Connor "Why did they resign this guy" Murphy in what they're calling a Triple Crown match. I mean, seriously! Why did they resign this Connor Murphy!? How many times have they given this loser a chance at the brass ring only for him to turn around and screw up every chance they gave him? Newsflash! Connor is a has-been that never was! The guy had to go and get a face lift to look young again -- and it worked! Looks like an entirely new man! Well let's just hope this 'new man' knows how to step through the ropes without making himself look like a complete fool. And don't even get me started on the so-called Bulldog! The guy with such an ageism complex that he's still trying to convince the world he's in his thirties!

The Troll makes a face of disbelief and shakes his head.

The Troll: These are the three old men I have to face for some new version of a Triple Threat Championship? I swear, sometimes I think whoever books this stuff is stoned out of his mind....

**THUD!** **THUD!** **THUD!**

Mom: GABRIEL!!! ARE YOU TELLING YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS ABOUT YOUR MATCH THIS WEEKEND!?!?

The Troll: Oh come on... Yeah, Ma! I'm telling them all about my new championship match!!!

Mom: CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH!? SWEETY, TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT THAT CONTRACT! YOU'RE NOT WRESTLING FOR SOME NEW CHAMPIONSHIP! YOUR COMPETING TO SEE WHO MOVES ON TO WRESTLE NEXT YEAR FOR THAT FUNNY ROULETTE TITLE WITH ALL THE RULE CHANGES!

The Troll scoffs. His mother clearly doesn't understand the way he does. But, he humors her and reaches over and picks up the manilla folder he keeps his wrestling contracts in and opens it up. He scans the top contract which is for this weekend, using his fat finger to go over the lines until he gets to where he needs to be and... The Troll pulls his head back and looks off-camera.

The Troll: Well if that isn't a giant kick right to the-

**cut feed**