April 4, 2022Losing the Bombshells Internet Championship, and my famed winning streak at that, to the woman that I lost it to was sobering reality. Even with that winning streak, I was telling myself that I wasn’t happy in Sin City Wrestling and that I was out the door at some point. That loss wasn’t the reason why I left. But what it was, was the last straw for me.
I went back to Sedona. I sat on my brother’s couch in horrible shape. The alcohol that I had just had wasn’t numbing me enough to want to forget about the whole event the night before. My brother Eddie came by and sat on the couch with me and he was gravely concerned when he saw that my eyes were bloodshot.
“What are you even still doing there?” he asked me. “You’ve been nothing but miserable there for the last two years.”
I just blinked and didn’t even react.
“I need you to leave before the wife and girls come back…”
“...you’re ditching me too?” I asked my brother, still feeling numb as hell.
“I can’t have my daughters seeing you in this shape. I know you understand. But, my house isn’t the only thing that you need to leave. I just see the shape that you’re in and how far you’ve spiraled because of the time that you’ve spent in Sin City Wrestling and you have to get out.”
“...and let them win?” I asked, completely in denial at what my brother was requesting of me. I picked up a beer bottle that I hadn’t opened yet but he snatched it away from me.
“You’ve had more than enough, Andrea. What you need to do is get the hell out of there and get some help. Being there has progressively destroyed you. Before you were there, you were this bright spirited sweetheart who would never hurt a fly. But ever since that whole Evie thing… ever since Dad died… you’ve turned into someone that I don’t even recognize. I want my baby sister back… I NEED my baby sister back. I know she’s still hiding underneath all of that alcohol… that pain… that darkness that being there has injected into your heart.”
“...they’ll rejoice… they’ll make up all these lies about me and why I left… they’ll say that I left because I lost to someone so worthless… they’ll say all these awful things and I don’t want…”
“LET THEM, Andrea!” Eddie insisted. “For fuck’s sake, Masque what’s her face isn’t worth all this. The basic shit she said about you isn’t true… unless you want it to be. You and I both know she’s nothing special and that in the end, she’s going to wind up being completely forgettable. You and I both know that she’s not the reason. This has been brewing for a long time. You have to get out of there. You can’t honestly tell me that you enjoy what that company has become…”
I shook my head.
“The Bombshells division has become everything I hate… when you see who that division revolves around… when you have that horrible piece of garbage as a world champion…”
“You used to idolize her…” Eddie reminds me, regarding Roxi Johnson.
“The world title revolves around like three women…”
“You can inject yourself into that and change that…”
“Why? Tell me why that’s worth chasing? When I was world champion, I was exposed as a flash in the pan. I was exposed as someone who shouldn’t have even been there. I highly doubt that I will ever be a world champion in my career again. What’s the point? So that I can face Roxi and feed her horrible, lying narrative about who she pretends to be? So I can be ‘just another Amber Ryan statistic’? Fuck that.”
“Maybe you can get Myra to help you an…”
“FUCK HER!” I shouted.
“Andrea, if you hate the world title picture so much, do something about it… otherwise, just get the fuck out of there because the fact that you’re letting them destroy you like this means that THEY are winning! Pull yourself together and do something. I can’t have you self-destructing any longer. You don’t deserve to put yourself through all of this pain over a bunch of catty bitches that say high school grade level mean things to you that you and I both know aren’t even true.”
Eddie gets interrupted by the sight of his wife and daughters beginning to pull up in the driveway.
“It hurts me to say what I am about to say, but this is for your own good: either get the hell out of that company or get the hell out of my life. What means more to you, Andrea? Proving people wrong that will never respect you or family?”
Finally, I had woken up to the truth. I couldn’t help but cry at this point knowing that for as much as I wanted to silence all the haters and critics in SCW, even though some of the hate I brought on myself admittedly, I didn’t want to lose my brother.
“Give me until their next Supercard and I’ll put my notice in… just get me out the door before your girls see me like this….”
“Fine…” my brother said as he got me out the door, though not before he made me pick up the empty beer bottles. He got me out through the back and I was fortunate enough to have been led out just in time. Still, when I got to my car a little later, I was shedding tears. I knew at that moment that for my own sake and to save my own mental health, I had to get the hell out of there.
I didn’t care what Masque, Crystal, Amber, Krystal, or any other petty bitch had to say after the fact.
It was time for me to go… as much as I hated to admit…
So for the last two years?
I’d been touring and traveling the road and seeing many different promotions. I realized a year or so after I left that there was something missing and replacing SCW turned out to be a much harder proposition than I thought.
But six months ago, after working so hard to overcome my personal demons, some of which were caused by my time in SCW, others which were bred otherwise…
I finally slayed those demons for good…
New Year’s Eve 2023“I’m so fucking happy for you…”
My best friend Chelsea LeClair said those words to me when we were at a New Year’s party she was hosting with her husband and her husband’s extended family. I had brought the Festivus World Championship that I had earned days before (and which I still hold to this day) with me and Chelsea was beaming with pride.
“You overcame a hell of a lot to be a world champion again. I know that this is the second world title that you’ve won ever since you left SCW and all of that, but this one feels like it’s THE world title for you…”
I smiled. Unlike the day I decided that I was going to leave SCW when I was intoxicated, numb and hating everything going on with my life, the bright, bubbly sweetheart had made a comeback. I had repaired old friendships and familial relationships that were on the edge of destruction during my time in SCW. Life was finally good again and this world championship that I had absolutely punctuated that.
“I feel like I had an exorcism the other night, Chels…” I admitted to her. “I know that when I went on camera and said what I felt… you know… about Evie and everything… and I just poured out EVERYTHING… I was backstage after the fact and I felt amazing. I knew right then and there that I was going to win that title and yeah, I guess I’m going to have a gig in 5BW for a while with this title.”
“Let’s drink to that…” Chelsea said with a jocular laugh.
“OH GOD NO! I’m never drinking again!”
“That makes two of us…” Chelsea admitted as she gave me a quick hug.
“I’m so glad that you truly found yourself again because for so long I missed you… the REAL you! You’re doing amazing things with the Festivus World Championship and with being in Thunder Pro and doing your thing there. You know, I hope things stick this time. You’ve been well traveled since SCW and all…”
“Yeah…” I sighed. “Nothing has really felt right and Thunder Pro isn’t exactly a place I have a real feel for yet.”
I paused when I happened to see a YouTube clip show called “Most Shocking Things In Wrestling 2023”. I didn’t think too much of it when I noticed that there was an SCW clip playing. Chelsea looked over and what we ended up seeing was Julianna DiMaria defeating Courtney Pierce at High Stakes two months prior. I could hear Chelsea squeal with happiness at this…
“I still love that moment, Andrea…” she told me, as I glanced at my world title and back at the screen. The happiness in me was starting to fade a bit.
“I’m not sure how you and Julianna are friends, Chels…”
“If you really get to know her, you’ll realize she’s nowhere near the bitch she is on screen. But still… I can’t help but be happy for her. She was going through a very rough patch in her career and she told me about how her father abused her emotionally and how she was a wreck earlier in her career and for her to come out of NOWHERE and be a world champion in SCW in just SIX MATCHES says EVERYTHING about how fucking strong that woman is. Both you and her have overcome a hell of a lot to get to where she is today.”
I narrowed my eyes a bit when I saw Julianna celebrating with the world title that she had just won before the clip show cut to something else. Chelsea was talking about Julianna and I with her favorable comparisons and such, but I was tuned out.
“She did what she did in six matches…” I thought to myself while Chelsea was talking to me. “How is that possible? She had a worse upbringing than I did. She sure as hell had a far worse relationship with her father than I ever could with mine. I’ve been reviving my career while prior to SCW, hers was in a slump. She’s been through worse than me and has already achieved greater success in SCW than I ever did…”
This was the moment where it truly hit me and everything was beginning to make sense:
The void in my heart since I left the company, even though I was a world champion now…
The companies I’d wrestled for in between never feeling like a real fit…
The guilt that was growing in me every time SCW had came up lately….
This was when I realized for the first time that I was really missing the place…
“Andrea are you okay?” Chelsea asked with concern when she eventually realized I wasn’t all there.
“I blew it Chelsea…”
“What do you mean? You’re a world champion again…”
“I blew it… in SCW. If someone like Julianna, who went through worse hell than I did, can pull off what she did, then why did it take me almost two years and leaving SCW to finally put the Evie Jordan nonsense to bed?”
“Andrea, don’t be so hard on yourself. If you feel like you blew it, surely you can go back right?”
“They don’t want me back, Chelsea…” I said as I looked at my title again. “Come on, let’s get something to eat.”
As much as I wanted to ignore the situation, I couldn’t. As time grew, so did that pull that was planted that night for me to make things right and take care of that unfinished business.
Obviously, I came around to that…
But not everyone was on board…
June 26, 2024“I understand Andrea… but I still don’t get it…”
Myra Rivers, who at one point was in SCW herself and left around the same time I did in fact (for different reasons) was confused when we were at a New York Cafe recently and we finally got around to talking about the subject.
“After everything you went through mentally while you were there, I am shocked that you would ever go back to SCW. You were in so much pain when you were there. You turned into a complete monster of a person. The criticism you dealt with… the way you were treated while you were world champion… the fact that you had people like Evie and Kate rooting against you that summer… being written off as a flash in the pan as soon as you lost the title… Masque… the way you and Christian butted heads… but you’re going back…”
Myra had a bewildered expression on her face.
“You even left after your brother threatened to cut you off if you stayed. How the hell does he feel about this? Have you even talked to him about it?”
“Myra, I am two years older, two years smarter and two years stronger. I handled things poorly last time around simply because I didn’t know how to cope with losing a world title and dealing with all the bullying and criticism that I was dealing with. People there were hating on me BEFORE I even turned on Crystal. I wasn’t ready for the spotlight back then, I’ll be the first to admit that.”
“Yes, you are partly to blame for that. But you know that environment. Some of the faces may have changed, but you know that the moment you slip up… or the moment you say something stupid… someone’s going to go for the throat and talk shit about you. What’s so different now? How can I be sure that you wouldn’t suffer the same result.”
I rolled my eyes with annoyance at this point.
“Myra, I get that all the shit that happened to you in SCW at the end got to you and everything and you had to leave for your reasons too. But honestly? Not going back and not knowing what I am fully capable of over there bothers me more than a bunch of petty bitches in the back talking shit about me. People are going to talk. I can’t control that. I can only control how I react to it. YOU taught me that years ago, remember?”
Myra nods.
“You’re more at peace with things as far as SCW goes because since SCW, you’ve done some amazing things and you accomplished history that can never be taken away from you Miss Four Belt Holder…”
“You’re right about that. Listen to me Andrea…”
Myra places a hand on my shoulder.
“I don’t like that you’re going back there. I don’t agree with this at all. But if you feel like this is the best thing for you, then by all means I support you. I don’t like what being there did to you last time and I fear that if things go wrong for you again you’ll relapse… in more ways then one…”
“Yeah, I understand. You’re looking out for me. You’re the big sister I never had as much as it begrudges me to admit.”
“I will ALWAYS look out for you, you know that. Which is why I want you to promise me that the moment you even feel TEMPTED to relapse back to what you were the first time around… FUCKING CALL ME. Promise me that, Andrea. Give me that much.”
“You have my promise that you’ll be the first person I talk to should things even faintly feel like they’re falling apart again.”
“Good…”
We exchange a strong, though brief, embrace.
“Because seeing what you turned into the first time around hurt my soul like hell and I never want to go through that again…”
We parted ways after this and while I knew Myra was never going to be fully on board with my return (though perhaps her own experiences are jading her perspective), I was happy that she was still going to be there nonetheless.
June 28, 2024
For the first time in more than two years, I had an SCW camera in front of me and I wasn’t feeling nervous for a bit. It felt natural for me and in fact, it felt like this was what I was meant to do. I didn’t think TOO hard about Krystal Wolfe…
Not with all the history there…
“There was a point where I thought I’d never wrestle in SCW again. And hey, this seems to be the summer of returns, right? So why can’t I come back too? I’m going to start off with an apology. I know that I was hated last time I was here. I did and said so many dumb, horrible, stupid things that turned everyone off. I even won “Most Hated” one year. Nobody wanted to be my friend except Crystal Hilton for some reason. I earned the horrible reputation I had and from the bottom of my heart, I want to say I am sorry that SCW didn’t get the best of me and for most of you Bombshells associated with this company, it’s a clean slate. Though, there’s one no longer around as much that permaburned her bridge with me with the outright lies she said about me when she tried to lie and bash me without name dropping me thinking I wasn’t going to know about it…
She knows who she is…
She’s ancient history so fuck her…
Moving on to my opponent…
OOPS…
Sorry Krystal, I WASN’T talking about you there. You know, while I was gone you talked a whole lot of shit about me. You wouldn’t allow me to stop living rent free in your head even though I was long gone. You even mocked my mental health while calling me a “washed up former Bombshell” and said I used mental health as a created excuse because I lost to Masque. Hell, Blaze of Glory wasn’t that long ago and I remember you STILL mentioning me and Chelsea and how you won against her…
…though you didn’t mention that time she had a rematch against you outside of this company and she submitted your ass… but whatever…
AND you were one of the first to react to my return acting as if Satan incarnate himself was back. I get it, Krystal. I’m your personal Satan. I’m your scapegoat for your failures, am I right? For how you’ve dragged my name through the mud for so fucking long, I really have every reason to hate your guts Krystal. I have every fucking reason to hold ANY ounce of hatred in my heart…
But I don’t hate you…
For starters, you’re a blip on the radar for me that isn’t even worth hating. I wish I could take back some of the things I said about you back in the day because I do admit that to some degree, I am responsible for how far you’ve fallen. The last time we went one on one while you were Roulette Champion and I was Internet Champion was the real beginning of the downfall you’ve had since you lost the Roulette title. But how much longer is “Blame Andrea” going to work for you, Krystal?
I guess it’s my fault that you tapped out to Sam Marlowe three Blast From The Pasts ago?
Is it my fault that you lost the Roulette Championship? Or that you’ve accomplished nothing since then? Or that you were supposedly ‘infected by a demon’... or SIN… or whatever last year? Or that ever since you supposedly got ‘saved’ last High Stakes that you fucked up your supposed redemption by being a sore loser after Bella Madison beat your ass last holiday season then fucking up the opportunities you’ve had such as the Golden Briefcase to Georgie Robinson of all fucking people?
Krystal… now… as back then… logic wasn’t necessarily your forte and that was always true BEFORE we ever had the history that we’ve had. From the bottom of my heart, Krystal… I am deeply sorry for how I’ve hurt you with my words and actions toward you… but what I am NOT sorry for is the consequences of those actions because at the end of the day, YOU control that… you ALWAYS controlled that. I was an adversarial bump in the road for you, I fully cop to that. But it’s NOT my fucking fault that ever since we crossed paths, you have never gained a CLUE as to how to overcome not just the adversity that I put you through. NEVER! I don’t control whether or not you find success in SCW after your Roulette Championship reign or whether or not you take advantage of the opportunities that fall on your lap… you know… the ones you’ve constantly choked away…
Krystal, let me tell it to you straight… and whether I was that bitch that I was, or the recovered person that I am now, I’ve ALWAYS told it straight… aside from the whole “SIN debacle” from last year, you’re little more than a “diet”, “lite” version of the person that I used to be in my first run here. You’re a fucking carbon copy of the very BITCH that you hated and blamed for your problems for two fucking years. I want you to think about what I just said and look in the mirror and tell me that it’s not true. Look within yourself and tell me that I’m lying. I’m not saying this to hurt your feelings and if this DOES piss you off, that’s not my problem. I GET why you think the way that you do. I UNDERSTAND why you have this defeatist mindset and this need to be the attention whore that you are. Hell, you even diet copied my “President of the Internet” shtick with…
…whatever the fuck this “influencer” thing is supposed to be…
How are you influencing the division? By constantly fucking up your reputation beyond repair outside of the ring with the way you react to your losses and thinking that you’re better than you really are? By acting like you’re entitled to beat certain bombshells in the division? By thinking you’re entitled to acting like you’re a main event star when you’ve never been and… sorry NOT sorry when I say this… never WILL BE?
Well, at least not the way you’ve been acting for more than a year anyway…
You’re going to hear this and think I’m bullying you and being mean to you all over again because you can’t see past your hatred of me. You haven’t seen past it in more than two years so why the fuck would you see it any different now? I KNOW the way you think and act because I’ve BEEN in your shoes. You’re someone who can’t even look at herself in the mirror because when she does, she sees someone that is one of the most catastrophic failures in the Bombshells Division over the last two years… a woman that had so much potential but because of her insecurities, she fucking threw it all away because the little girl didn’t know how to fucking grow up and move on…
BEEN THERE…
Hell, I even had my own personal bully the way you did with me.
Evie Jordan ring a bell?
Because the way I used to treat you is not even all that different from the way she used to treat me and I let that worthless bitch have power over me for a LONG time and I allowed her to fuck me up and anchor my SCW career after that horrible summer I had dealing with her stupid ass four years ago. I had to leave because I had to detox from all of that. I didn’t move on from that pain that I went through dealing with her until well after I left SCW. I gave her that kind of power for that long…
Sound familiar?
Because you’ve done nothing but give me that kind of power for two years… power that I didn’t even ask for and I sure as hell don’t even want.
I refused to grow up and move on and it sunk me in the end.
The fact that I even strung together a 3 match winning streak at any point, let alone 18 after that Evie Jordan shit is a MIRACLE…
Even though I suffered and weighed myself down psychologically the way you have ever since you lost the Roulette Championship… I STILL went 2021 undefeated… I STILL won the Bombshells Internet Championship… I STILL won 18 matches in a row!
HOW, Krystal?
HOW the FUCK was I able to do that in that same psychological trap you’ve been in for a long time while YOU, in the same situation, have done nothing but faded from relevancy and completely collapsed?
Bombshells like Victoria Lyons and Julianna DiMaria make a massive impact in SCW FAR quicker in three to six matches than you ever have in your entire career. It’s funny yet sad that you’ve become just like the Mercedeses and the Marlowes… you know, the same women you’ve bashed before for hanging on for too long for touting glory they had many years ago…
Yeah, that’s what you’ve become.
You’re still hanging your hat on a Roulette Championship reign that happened four years ago. Sure, it might have been the longest in history but again… FOUR… YEARS AGO….
And I’m NOT doing that Twitch stream fluffy bunny promo again where I broke down why that whole run was a fluke before said run even ended.
Really, I don’t need to do that again, do I?”I paused and I sighed, not with anger… but with more sympathy than anything. I took a deep breath when I thought about how much Krystal Wolfe has really fallen down the ladder and the actions I witnessed from afar in the two years that I’ve been gone from Sin City Wrestling.
“You had all the potential in the world Krystal and you fucked it all up. I didn’t do that. You did. You never did what was necessary to take the next step because you’ve always been entitled and self-serving. The difference between then and now is that during your Roulette Championship reign, your massive, self-serving ego was much easier to hide. Funny how when things haven’t gone your way, the true colors have come out, right?
Name ONE thing you’ve accomplished while I was gone… one HUGE win that really set the bar, or set a foundation for you to move up the ladder.
Beating Crystal at Into the Void?
Yeah, you basically nuked any value that win would’ve had by whining about how Christian booked that match for shits and giggles and calling her a ‘useless ass’. So, basically at Into the Void, you beat someone useless… so that means your win over her is useless. Hey, YOU said it, not me.
Then on top of that, you call people that dare to call you out on your shit “idiots” that you’ll SOMEHOW be more memorable than in the long run.
Actually, you may be right about that one…
Because a comedy punchline IS fucking memorable and that’s what you’ve allowed yourself to become since I’ve been gone… which as far as this match is concerned is a fucking shame because take away all the old words I used to say about you way back when, and you’re actually more than talented enough as a wrestler and if the circumstances were any different, you would’ve been more than an exciting opponent as my first match back. You’re a FITTING opponent for my first match back… only someone like Seleana, Jessie, Samantha, Keira or Crystal would’ve been a more fitting first match back than you which is saying something…
Because I DO have unfinished business to take care of.
My last run here will NOT be my defining run.
I’ll bust my ass and do what I have to do and beat who I’ll have to beat, but I WILL have that SCW Bombshells World Championship in my grasp again and THEN my career in this company will truly feel complete.
You’re the first stop in that unfinished business run, Krystal… like it or not.
I’ve changed very much since I was here last time around… but on Sunday? One thing about me that I will reveal HASN’T changed at all over the last two years is ME having YOUR number in the ring when it counts.
Like a Phoenix, the “prodigal daughter”... for lack of a better phrase… returns HOME to Sin City Wrestling…
And when I beat you as I’ve beaten you many times before Krystal…
Come Sunday? I’ll give you a fresh reason to hate me!”I’m basically mocking Krystal a bit by blowing a kiss to the camera and giving a wink in its direction before I make my way to the camera in front of me and shut it off.
Afterward?
That old fire in me… the one that pushed me to be a world champion in SCW in the first place… became ignited in my heart…
And it sure felt that fucking good to feel it again…
