[Christian Underwood]

Post all roleplays for this match here.
Limits: 1 roleplay per week, per character, 10,000 limit.

Good luck!

[Andrew]

THE DIFFERENCE IS. . .

Narrator:  I had a briefing from Bill Barnhart so he could inform me what he is going to talk about for his match against Lincoln Daniels so I can give the lead-in for his comments on his match with Lincoln Daniels. In this edition of Bill’s comments he will be discussing the differences between himself and Lincoln Daniels. With that said I turn you over to Bill Barnhart.

The scene changes to that of a gym. We don’t recognize the surroundings so we are not sure where this is located. As the camera pans around we notice a wrestling ring is in place. As the camera continues to pan around it comes to rest of Bill and Bea Barnhart. Bill is in his wrestling attire so we make the assumption he is probably doing sparring at this gym. Bea is casually dressed in faded blue jeans and a pink pull-over shirt.

FROM LUXURY TO TRASH

Bill:  Welcome to my presentation to talk about my upcoming match against Lincoln Daniels at Blaze of Glory IX. Straight up I’m here to tell everyone, especially you Lincoln, why I’m superior to you in every way possible. For instance I’m entering this match coming off a win while you’re entering this match coming off a loss. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m sure you’ll be running your mouth claiming I distracted him during your match with Austin James Mercer and that caused you to lose to Mercer. Nice try but that shit don’t work here! A blind man was able to see, and a deaf man was able to hear, that all I did was join Jason Adams and Belinda Simone to do some commentary on the match. It was you, Lincoln, who stopped your match to look at us at the announcers table to complain to me about how much you were sucking in your match and you tried to blame your sucky wrestling on me being at the announcing table. Why the hell did you feel the need to talk to me? I didn’t ask you to talk to me so you were just trying to be a jerk and you even failed at that. You made the decision to distract yourself in your match and it cost you the win. As I said during your match wrestlers like myself and Austin James Mercer are ALPHA wrestlers and you’re so far in the back of the pack you can’t see us leaders of the pack even if you were to use the Hubble Space Telescope. That’s the difference between me and you.

Bea:  Zania if you try anything during the match, such as getting involved in the math, arranging interference, or trying to slip something illegal to Lincoln for him to use on Bill, your future will be in my hands. Any attempt to interfere in the match, or distract the Referee, will result in me bitch slapping your face so hard your makeup will fly off and into the fans in the stands! Hope that’s clear enough for you to understand. Thanks for giving me that moment Bill.

Bill:  Any time you want to jump in a make a comment feel free to do so. We’re a team. .  .THE team. . .and the sooner everyone in Sin City Wrestling understands that the better off everyone will be.

Bill and Bea break from their comments for a water break.

Bill:  Lincoln you probably think you’re coming into our match at Blaze of Glory IX as the luxury car the Lincoln Continental. You’re entitled to imagine and believe what you think you are. Even if cow shit were to believe it was Caviar it would never change the fact that the cow shit is cow shit is cow shit. What it thinks it is doesn’t change what is truly is. I’m here to tell you that in your mind you honestly believe you’ll step into the ring against me as your self-professed Lincoln Continental and defeat me. I’ll bring sanity into your insane mind by destroying you so much that when you leave the ring I’ll have transformed you into a Yugo GV. Have fun with that image Lincoln! To clarify things further in the real world there’s a difference between a Robert and a Bob. There’s a difference between an Alexander and an Alex. There’s a difference between a Charles and a Chuck. There’s a difference between a Josephine and a Josie. There’s a difference between an Elizabeth and a Betty. There’s a difference between a Katherine and a Kathy. There’s a difference between a Sophia and a Sophie. Just because you call yourself a Lincoln doesn’t mean you’re a high class piece of machinery. Remember that I’ll crush you down and toss you to the curb looking like a worthless piece of machinery called a Yugo. I say what I mean and mean what I say!

MORE DIFFERENCES

Bill:  Lincoln I want to tell you about a neighbor we have on our street in Lawrenceville. This information will show how there are more differences between me and you. What we have is noisy neighbors who, several times per week, hang out in their backyard and blast music to the point where the inside of my house is noisy with their music and my walls and windows are vibrating. When you take into consideration that our house is three houses down from this noisy house you can figure out the music was abusively loud. These inconsiderate jerks don’t seem to give a damn that they often stay up to after Midnight being noisy and disturbing dozens of us who live near them. The problem I have with neighbors like this is that they get upset when the other neighbors call the police on them to report a noise complaint. Their problem is they don’t seem to understand that their neighbors complain because they have to get to sleep so they can get up and go to work early in the morning. When our neighbors complain then the residents of this noisy house whine and cry and complain that is isn’t fair to them. Well is it fair to the rest of us, some who have to leave for work at 6 a.m. in the morning, to lose hours of sleep due to their abusive behavior and loud blasting music? These whining fools complain that the neighbors who complain about their blasting music, that often goes late into the evening, are mean and abusive to them. We all tell them we are just reacting to their abusive stupid behavior but try to make others believe they are the innocent ones and the other neighbors are the problem causers.

Bea:  It sucks when you wear earplugs to try to block out the noise but their blasting music is so loud it comes through even though you have earplugs in.

Bill:  So, Daniels, have you figured out how this represents a difference we have with each other? I’m the logical, sensible, law-abiding neighbor, and you’re the non-logical, non-sensible, law-breaking one in the neighborhood. What is the neighborhood I’m talking about? The neighborhood called Sin City Wrestling.

FINDING BLESSINGS WHEN YOU ARE NOT LOOKING FOR THEM

Bill:  There’s a word in the English language and that word is SERENDIPITY. Now, Lincoln, since your brain’s capacity to understand things is defective, I’ll make this one easy for you. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines Serendipity as finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for. That’s pretty simple right? Easy for you to understand right? I just had two incidents of serendipity recently. The first is when my original opponent for Climax Control 294 wasn’t able to be present for our match they replaced him with Jack’d The Ripper. I easily defeated Jack’d, which wasn’t a surprise, but it was serendipity since it was an easy win handed to me and I found a valuable thing I didn’t seek for. Well here we are again, coming up in Blaze of Glory IX, and serendipity raises their beautiful head again and blesses me with another win by my being assigned to wrestle you. What’s that you ask? Why am I counting my win over you already when the match has not yet taken place? Because I’m that damn sure I’ll defeat you so that I walk away with my second win in a row while you walk away with your second loss in row.

Bill and Bea stand in front of the wrestling ring and we believe they are going to make closing comments for this presentation.

Bill:  Oh, Lincoln, I’m so glad I’m not you in this match. This may be the quickest loss you’ve taken since you started in the sport of wrestling. This may be the quickest win I’ve achieved since I started in the sport of wrestling.

Bea:  I remind you, Zania, that if you try any cheating or distractions, or try to get someone to interfere in the match, the two of you may have your careers in wrestling ended.

Bill:  For sure you don’t want to piss off an already irritated Filipina! Har har har! Well, Lincoln, you don’t have to wait that much longer to get your ass kicked by me! Enjoy the time you have where you are still in one piece, still free of scratches, cuts, and bruises, as all that good health will be beaten out of you by me at Blaze of Glory IX!

Bea gives the signal to the cameraman that their presentation is over and he cuts his camera feed and the screen goes dark.

[Lincoln Daniels]

Georgia Wrestling Classic
Valdosta, Georgia
Five years ago
Off Camera

It’s a very hot summer day as Lincoln Daniels is sitting in his dressing room while waiting for his upcoming match against Josh Boulder. Lincoln had been waiting so long for this match after it was announced a few weeks ago. The dressing room was nearly empty as Lincoln remained seated on a hardwood bench.

“This is it,” he says to himself while trying to psych himself up for this match. The match itself wasn’t about a championship. It was just a battle between two men who had a lot to prove. “There is no backing down now,” he continues to say while standing up to his feet. Lincoln had been sitting for at least an hour when his wife Zania walked into the dressing room. “Are you ready babe?” she asks him while picking up his ring jacket. She helps slide it onto his shoulders as he slowly rubs her hands across them. She can tell that he was beginning to get tense.

“Why are you stressing over this match?” she asks him straight up. Lincoln shrugs his shoulder while continuing to run her hands over his muscular shoulders. Lincoln closes his eyes as he feels the softness of her hands against his skin. He quietly groans as a slight smile appears on her face. “Does that feel good?” she asks him. He doesn’t answer right away as his thoughts return to the match coming up. Zania knew her husband’s undefeated streak was on the line in this match but he didn’t want to jinx himself.

Lincoln takes another deep breath while looking at himself in the mirror. “That’s a handsome man right there,” Zania says while kissing her husband on his cheek. Lincoln smiles while turning towards the door. “It’s time to do incredible things,” Lincoln says while stepping out of the dressing room and heads toward the ring.

Let’s tame a dog
Present Day
On Camera

The Gold Casino is the background for Blaze of Glory as Lincoln is sitting in the audience area. His feet are propped up onto some of the empty chairs as he looks up at the poster.

”Look at that handsome man on that poster, who knew I would make just a big splash in the short amount of time. I did obviously. I don’t know who is previewing these matches but they need to do some more research. One thing's for certain, I am not some damn rookie who just wandered into this company. You see, Mark Ward had heard of me from someone and sent me an email with a contract.

So I looked it over with my lawyer and my wife and decided to sign my name on the dotted line. Other than that, there is no similarity between me and this fat bastard I am facing in two weeks. Bill Barnhart sure loves to run his mouth but he doesn’t seem to say anything that makes any sense. First off, how can this guy be an alpha male wrestler when he loses more than he wins. I swear, you have the worst record in this company and yet you continue to act like this big time wrestler.

Are you really that upset that I beat you? I can tell you love to distort facts to make yourself better but yet you do it anyway. What do I mean? The fact that I put both you and Romano through the same table. Romano may have hit the ground first but you couldn’t reverse me no matter how hard you try.

Lincoln continues to stare at the poster as his wife joins him.

”I am looking forward to this match Bill. Do you want to know why? Because I am going to embarrass the hell out of you. How? Well by being the better athlete than you. It’s clear that I am faster and stronger. The fact that my abilities make me better in every way. Your main move is a sleeper hold. That’s the only move you know. Every other move you try to use is sloppy as hell.

Yet, you are the alpha wrestler. You are more like the Beta wrestler. You are not good. You are barely mediocre. I look forward to showing just how good I can be in that ring. How? By being Mr. Incredible. That’s not just a moniker. It’s who I am and come Blaze of Glory. I’m going to hit hard and then I am going home. If your wife plans on getting involved then my wife will enjoy tossing her ass all over the ringside area.

Lincoln smirks as he and Zania stands up and leaves the area.

[Andrew]

THE SAME IS. . .

Narrator:  As I mentioned last week I had a conversation with Bill Barnhart so he could inform me what he is going to talk about for his match against Lincoln Daniels so I can give proper lead-in comments for his comments on the match. In this second of Bill Barnhart’s comments he will be discussing the similar items between himself and Lincoln Daniels. With that said I turn you over to Bill Barnhart.

The scene changes and it takes us to where Bill and Bea are currently located. This is odd. It isn’t the gym where Bill presented his first comments for his match with Lincoln Daniels. It also doesn’t look like a hotel room so obviously they are not broadcasting from there. When the camera pans around we see that Bill and Bea are in a broadcast studio. We have no clue where this might be so we hope Bill and Bea will tell us where they are broadcasting from.

Bill:  I decided to present my comments today from the broadcast studio set up in the Golden Ring Casino. Thanks to the crew for allowing us to use their facilities. To open my comments I would like to present to the viewers the similar things between myself and Lincoln Daniels. We are nearly the same height and weight. Daniels is a Power, High Flying, and Brawler, and I’m a Technical expert and a Brawler. But even though we are close in size and type of wrestling we specialize in I’m the one with the advantage in this match. My wife, Bea, is also my Manager and will be in my corner as she usually is. Lincoln’s wife, Zania, is his Manager and she will be in his corner. Comparing these two women without a doubt I have the better wife and Manager. Advantage = ME! So other than those few items where we are close there’s nothing the same between the two of us.

DEFINING BILL BARNHART

Bea:  There are some words that adequately describe Bill.

Bea pulls out a sheet of paper and she starts reading from the list.

Bea:  Here are the words that adequately describe Bill. . .Amazing. . .Astonishing. . .Awe-Inspiring. . .Awesome. . .Breathtaking. . .Brilliant. . .Challenging. . .Energetic. . .Fabulous. . .Fantastic. . .Fearless. . .Formidable. . .Grand. . .Great. . .Imposing. . .Impressive. . .Intimidating. . .Magnificent. . .Mind-Blowing. . .Overwhelming. . .Powerful. . .Shocking. . .Stunning. There ya go! Great definitions of Bill Barnhart. Now let me take a look at the sheet of descriptive words that describe Lincoln Daniels.

Bea puts down the list of words describing Bill and she picks up a list of words describing Lincoln Daniels. She looks over the paper, both front and back, and up and down, then she looks into the camera.

Bea: Well Damn! The sheet that describes Lincoln Daniels is totally blank. Nothing on the paper at all. Guess that means there are no words adequate to describe a wrestler as lame as he is.

FOUR-WORD PHRASES

Bill:  Lincoln there are many things I’m great at in addition to wrestling. One of those items is my use of four-word phrases to make my point. I’d like to present some of them today since they work well against opponents as worthless as you are. ALL BARK NO BITE describing that you can talk smack but can’t back it up. BITCH, DON’T EVEN TRY to let you know if you try to do me in you’ll be the one done in. COME AND GET IT to challenge you to bring on the fight. No matter what you bring to the fight you’ll lose this match to me. I TOLD YOU SO which I’ll scream in your face when you are lying on the mat and my hand is raised in victory. REAL MEN DON’T CRY so if you want to pretend you are a real man, Lincoln, then don’t cry when I win our match

Bill rolls his eyes at how pathetic Lincoln Daniels is.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Bill:  You want to know the truth Lincoln? Let me give you a mental picture so you can fully understand where you stand against me. Get the image in your head of a tiny male Chihuahua who is maybe 6 to 8 pounds. He’s horny as hell and he finds a female Great Dane who is in heat. That poor little Chihuahua is too stupid to realize he barely comes up to the pads on her feet. But the poor deceived little dipshit Chihuahua wraps his arms around her leg and starts humping like all get out. As hard as this little Chihuahua tries he’ll never mate with this Great Dane. Yeah, Lincoln, you’re that pathetic little Chihuahua going up against me, this big, bad, and aggressive Bulldog named Bill Barnhart, and try all you want you’ll never defeat me just as that Chihuahua will never manage to mate with that Great Dane.  No wonder your breath smells like an outhouse as all you have done for weeks is talk shit! My gawd man! You talk enough shit in a month to totally fill in the Grand Canyon! Enjoy your loss to me as I’m damn sure gonna enjoy my win over you!

Bill burst out in loud laughter and after he regains his composure he continues.

DON’T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB

Bill:  Let me tell you something Lincoln. You talked a lot of talk which included idle threats, baseless accusations, and outright lies. What they hell were you trying to do? Were you trying to work out a comedy routine so that you could work nights at a comedy club doing stand-up comedy? If that’s your objective my advice to you is DON’T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB because you suck at stand-up comedy so all you have to fall back on is wrestling. But don’t get discouraged because every wrestling federation needs a certain amount of Jobber wrestlers to provide wins for the other wrestlers so at least you know Management will keep you on the roster to serve in that capacity.

Bill and Bea look at each other and smile.

Bill:  Damn Lincoln! I listened to your comments concerning our upcoming match and I have to say your comments were shitty and watery like someone having Diarrhea. You know. . .it just keeps running and running and running, it smells horrible, it makes no sense, and it makes a mess. Yep! That’s how your comments came across Daniels. I’ll close my comments for today by telling you that every time I see you in the hallway at our wrestling events the first thing I think of is that you are just a twit in the hall and you are meaningless to the sport of wrestling. I’m sure you’re familiar with the Pink Floyd song ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL so let me give you the Bill Barnhart version of the main lyrics of the song considering you are just another twit in the hall.

The camera zooms in on Bill as he begins singing his version of the song.

I don’t need wrestling education
Because I’m the best wrestler in the nation
And, Lincoln, if you think you are it all
Remember that you are gonna fall
Hey, Lincoln, you are gonna fall!
All in all you’re just another twit in the hall
All in all you’re just another twit in the hall

Bill:  HAR HAR HAR!!! That’s you in a nutshell Lincoln! Let me close with comments that pertain to nearly every wrestler in Sin City Wrestling. I love it when opponents get scared to face me in a match so they resort to lying and spreading false information. Someone recently stated that I have only one hold and that is a Sleeper hold so that makes me pathetic and cheap. I guess they can’t read or they haven’t watched my matches because my favorite finisher is my Flying Hammerlock which I’ve used successfully to make opponents submit. Yes I do use a Sleeper and also a Figure Four Leglock but that’s because I enjoy using holds that make an opponent submit or makes them pass out which still classifies as a submission win for me. Read my information sheet so that you’re informed and can talk intelligently instead of spewing forth blubbering and drive that makes no sense.

At that final comment Bill takes a bow and then he turns to Bea and they High Five each other. Then Bill turns to the camera and gives a signal of his thumb across his throat to let them know to cut the broadcast as he’s done with his presentation. They cut the broadcast and the screen goes dark.