Happiness is a construct.
She couldn’t remember when she had ever been this happy. Despite the pressures of her job and everything that went with it Johanna finally felt like she had something tangible. Something she could keep for herself. Something that wasn’t defined by her last name and where she came from. Growing up she had been put in a box, told she was going to be a police officer and that was it. No direction in her life to find that spark that would make her feel whole. Then she met him. Frederick Gustav, a special inspector and detective from the internal bureau. He hand picked her to be in his task force. And over the last year Johanna had gone from feeling like an outcast in her department to a valued member of a new one.
She went from being told she was wrong and to back down by her own father and friends to being welcomed into a new job that was restoring her faith in the very system she thought was crumbling to the ground.
It was more than that now. Frederick had told her everything, he had shown her trust and care. And now, with every touch of his fingertips on her skin, every kiss and look across the room, she also felt something that she had never brought into herself or her life. Love. She was falling deep down that rabbit hole and was letting herself go. It was the equivalent of closing her eyes and falling backwards, trusting the other person to catch her. And for Johanna that was never an option, never an emotional response she wanted or expected.
It had been months since she heard from her father. Months since that phone call that left her sitting on her bathroom floor. Where Frederick had picked her back up, he dusted her off and reminded her what trust really was.
It had been like a dream. Frederick had started spending so much time at her apartment. Johanna strood in the kitchen, wearing one of his t-shirts. Sausages sizzled in one flat frying pan as eggs were cracked and fried in another. A pot of coffee sitting next to the food staying warm for when he would wake up. Johanna’s long blond hair was up in a bun, she was wearing no make up and this was still not the Johanna we know today. She was small, slim with no large muscles or tattoos. She let out a content sigh before looking up at the clock above the kitchen bench.
She took the food off the burners, plating it up and realizing the time. She turned and rushed towards the bedroom. But as she reached out and touched the door handle she heard Fredericks voice. It stopped her in her tracks. ”Yeah. No problem. I can meet you at the usual place.” Johanna turned, not wanting to listen in and giving Frederick some privacy. That was until she heard something else. Something that just seemed off. ”She has no idea. She’s still looking for the infiltrator. She’s cold as ice.” Her heart started beating faster, what did he mean?. Johanna swallowed hard and backed away from the door as she heard the bed springs release, Frederick was standing up and moving to the door.
She backed up faster getting back down the hallway to the kitchen, she stood with her back to him, holding the plates in her hands and breathing slowly to try and keep herself calm. no reason to get worked up she told herself, the words running through her mind. Frederick stretched and came up behind her, his hands wrapping around her midsection.
He sniffed the air and gave her a small kiss on the cheek. ”That smells amazing.” Johanna let out a small laugh, she tried to act natural, not suspecting a thing. Frederick grabbed a plate and set it onto the bench before getting some coffee. He moved around and grabbed out knives and forks putting some down near his plate and around the other side for Johanna. ”You will be in charge this afternoon, I have a meeting at HQ around 3.” liar She turned and took a sip of her coffee nodding her head as Frederick cut a sausage popping it into his mouth. ”Are you alright Jo? You seem quiet”
Does she ask him what the call was about? Or should she trust him? Her breathing started to quicken again, she closed her eyes for a moment before making the effort to slow it. ”I’m just tired, I’ll be fine. But it’s all fine with me, I can make sure the reports are done, do what you need to do.” She shot a smile and ate some of her own food and took another sip of coffee.
Frederick finished and stood up taking his plate and mug to the sink before washing them and putting them into the dishwasher, he turned and looked Johanna up and down with a grin. ”Maybe you should finish eating and join me in the shower?” He gave her a small wink, Jo swallowed hard and tried to think of a reason not to, any reason at all that would avoid suspicion. But, there was nothing there. Instead she twisted her upper lip into a smirk and could do nothing but simply nod. Frederick leaned forward kissing her. ”I’ll go start the water...don’t be too long.” As he moved down towards the bathroom Johannas heart sank in to her stomach, she looked down at her food unable to finish it.
She put it in the bin, pouring her coffee down the drain, her hands gripping the edge of the sink as she tried to calm herself down. it’s nothing she told herself. Nothing at all.
New Direction.
”In the lead up to this match I have heard all the rumors and innuendo when it comes to it. The talk of a rematch between myself and Royal Purple…”
She couldn’t help but laugh and shake her head. Johanna taking a deep breath trying to keep herself from exploding in anger and frustration.
” What makes anyone think that I want a rematch for that championship?. I tried my best to make that championship mean something, the chaos that came with it, the incredible amount of random violence that a simple spin the roulette wheel could bring. And in the end, I lost that championship to someone who took my mind off the match by rambling on and on about a name bullshit and also lying about me. She called the woman who is a Brazilian jiu jitsu blackbelt, unskilled and a brute. I’m someone who has forgotten more submissions than that twit will ever learn in her life”
“But, she was able to beat me, to take the Roulette title from me.”
“And truth is, I have my eyes set on bigger and better things. I think it’s time I leave this division behind.”
“But no, not the bombshells title. As much as I would love to move on and compete for that I think Myra Rivers needs a real title contender. The internet championship is there as a bright shiny trophy for me to chase. See Myra has been dominating the competition holding that title for 200 days, and the roulette title? Well that thing is something I have now held twice. A title that I defended against one of the best champions to ever hold it in Samantha Marlowe. Despite what those idiots Bill and Bea Barnhart have said.”
Johanna sneers and rolls her eyes clearly in a bad mood.
”But they aren’t the only members of this roster to be complete idiots and jokes. In fact I have to face one now, in Violet Amelia Holt. And trust me, I hate the fact I have to get in the ring with her. See Violet falls into the similar category as others. Instead of having a look at her opponents, especially ones that are better than her and have better records and simply admitting it, she tries to verbally break everyone down. She tries to run her mouth and act like she’s the top of the company when in reality Violet is an advert failure.”
“I can admit that she has skills, Violet can get in the ring and throw down. But at the same time, when someone like her simply cuts the same substandard promo and talks an incredible amount of shit and still fails it becomes tiring.”
“And lately, well lately Violet has been running her mouth acting like a bad ass. She thinks she’s intimidating because she “five feet of crazy”, I think I’ve heard that somewhere else before but can’t quite place it. Regardless. The fact that she is trying to be intimidating in a world that includes me is laughable.”
An eye roll, a scoff and Johanna folding her arms over her chest.
”But, I get it, Violet will be able to burst through and run her mouth about me losing to Royal Purple. The roulette title slipping through my grasp, I know this because it’s honestly all she can focus on, that or going down that same tired path where I was “carried” by Alex. This is what people do, they zero in on lies that they tell themselves, they repeat the same song and dance and after I beat them and walk away there is nothing but silence. Silence from Roxi Johnson, silence from Sam Marlowe and Silence from Jesse Salco after I beat her.”
“Time and time again, I watch the same thing spin like the hands on a goddamn clock and it makes me feel sick to my stomach. I am one of the best professional wrestlers on this planet Violet, I have proved it before and I will do it again. So please, cut your little promo and act “crazy”, cause that’s all it is, an act.”
“When it comes to me, there is no act...there is no “fake”..”
“I am a violent person, I love the feeling of punching someone in the face or trying to rip an arm off or choke someone out. This is what I live for and I refuse to be talked down to by someone like you and like that idiot Royal Purple did. So get in the ring Violet, show me how “bad ass” you are...and watch while I break you and expose you…”
