**Author’s note: All the off screen scenes will be done in first person and all on camera scenes will be in third ***
Every single day, I am haunted by my brother's death. My sister, my twin, older by a full eight minutes tries to tell me that there was no way I am to blame for Ethan’s Overdose. He alone decided to take too many pills. He decided to use the pills at all.
Before Ana and I, my parents didn't believe in modern medicine. They thought the earth would provide all they needed. That was before my mother had undiagnosed preeclampsia and nearly died, taking my brother with her. After that, she had issues conceiving. When it came to expanding their family, modern advancements didn't seem so bad anymore.
Ana and I only met our surrogate mother once. She had broken down in tears at seeing us and that was it. She couldn't come to grips with the fact that she had willingly carried us and let us go. Her eggs, my father's semen. We were biologically hers. I hoped one day to find her again. Find out if twins ran in her family or if it was the result of the fertility drugs. To know if I still had biological grandparents, cousins, aunts & uncles. My parents had no one. Both orphans who had met in the foster system. I suppose that was why they didn't trust any government sponsored facilities. The Foster system had subjected them both to a terrible existence and let’s be honest, is our medical system really any better unless you are wealthy?
To this day, both my parents rely on the advice of naturopaths and herbalists. They haven't seen a medical doctor since Ana and I were born. They owned a plot of land in upstate New York, their closest neighbors were miles away. They relied on mostly their own grown food. They had chickens and goats and my Dad would often trade skills for things but usually it wasn't money.
They shared one cell phone which Ana and I had included on our plan, so we could at least get a hold of them and they had a way to call for help if something happened.
It probably seems primitive to people, but it makes them happy. Who am I to argue it?
~*~
I had gone to see my parents on my own. Ana had some things she needed to do but I wanted to tell my parents about my contract and my first match in person. They had been so supportive and happy for Ethan and when I had taken up the mantel after he passed, they encouraged me. I know they were worried though. Wrestling for a woman is different than for a man.
If you didn't know what you were looking for, it would be easy to get lost in the tall oaks that hid my parents house from the main road. My Dad had built it himself. Of course it was... different.
The house was a three bedroom bungalow. My dad had a knack for building and construction. It was probably the most solidly built house I had ever seen.
The bricks were not all the same colour. Since most of the materials for the house were found or traded, my family home was a rainbow of different coloured bricks. Being in a wooded area it always made me feel like it was something out of Oz or Wonderland. The windows were the same size, but a different styles. The door was bright red with brass handles and locks, although my parents rarely locked the door.
My house was a menagerie of things but one thing for sure I could say was that I had a good childhood. Homeschooled until high school I was leagues ahead of my classmates. Ana and Ethan were the same. So we took more advanced classes. Did night school and summer school. I did in two years what most kids needed four to complete. School had never been a challenge academically. Socially? Well I didn't make friends. I never went out. Ana and Ethan had different personalities though. They had friends. They went to the mall and movies. Both had significant others and were involved in behavior that worried my parents. I suppose I just never wanted those things. Although wrestling was never in my mind as a career choice.
When I was sixteen, Ethan was twenty. He was finished his training. He was working local shows and I never missed a single one. I adored my big brother. I would sit in the front row and idolize him.
My mom opening the front door breaks me from my daydream. She waves me inside and I open the car door. Ana and I shared the ten year old honda civic. It got us where we needed to go.
Susan O’Connor didn't look her forty-three years. Her face was still flawless with no wrinkles. She never wore makeup, but she didn't need too. Her Auburn hair was pulled up into a half-knot. The woman wasted no time in coming down off the porch to wrap her arms around me. I loved my mom. I didn't need a biological link to her to feel completely devoted to her. She always hugs a little too tight but I never complain.
“Aviana, come in. Where is Oceana?”
My mom looks to my side at the empty passenger seat of the car.
“I broke down and I had to trade her for parts to fix the car. Don't worry, I heard that the sex trade is really profitable for young girls.”
My mom's mouth drops open before she hits me with the dish towel still in her hands.
“She had some things to do today. She sends her love.”
In actuality, Ana wasn't fond of our childhood home. She loved our parents just as fiercely as I did but it was a shrine to our long gone brother and it took everything Ana had not to break down in tears, as soon as you stepped through the front door.
Once inside, it is easy to see how proud of us my parents are. All our accomplishments were framed and on the walls of the living room. Pictures of caps and gowns. Ethan's baseball trophies. Ana’s dance competition ribbons and my lonely medal for academics. Mom ushers me toward the sofa where she has already set up cookies and tea.
“Your father and I missed you girls so much. It's a shame that Oceana was too busy to see her only parents.”
She pours tea into my cup and the dishwater colour tells me it isn't tetley. I was sure the cookies were probably bitter and tasteless as well but I was polite and took one.
“She's doing some community work. It's not personal.”
If by community work, I meant sitting on our couch with a tub of ben & Jerry's while binge watching “This is Us" then sure... community work.
“Well Dad will be back soon. He was just taking some eggs to the Robertson's.”
Pamela & Judy Robinson had done the same thing my parents had. Bought land miles away from the city and built their own house. Spinster sisters (although do we even really use that work anymore?) That just hated city life. Dad had become suspiciously close to the duo. Unlike me and Oceana who were fraternal, Judy & Pamela were identical. I was actually glad Ana and I looked different. The idea of being confused for the “better twin" would have probably driven me to self harm. Sorry... I know that's not funny at all.
“Well that's good.”
Why was this always awkward. Not just talking to my mom, but being here? Knowing that just down the hall my brother's room looked exactly the same as the day he died. It was a shrine an no matter how many times Ana and I spoke to my parents about dismantling it, the refused.
“We have some news too.”
My mom blurts it out. I look up from the cup of tea to stare at her. She was wringing her hands.
“We finally cleaned out Ethan's room.”
Really? Was I dreaming? My parents were moving on?
“I’m proud of you mom. I know how hard it must have been.”
She offers a half smile. I try to hold back my tears. I couldn't ever seem to get Ethan out of my mind. Like the words of Dolly’s song, “Here you come again, just when I’m about to get my life together...”
“It was. We were going to talk to you. We were thinking about taking in a couple borders. For short periods of time. Just to make some extra money.”
This of course snapped me back to attention. The idea of strange people staying in my family home worried me but it really wasn't my place to say no.
“Are you sure? I mean these people could be anyone...”
Too late. Thanks mouth for just blurting that out.
My mom bites her bottom lip but before she can say anything, the front door opens and my father steps through the door. Every Time I saw him, it made my heart hurt. Ethan and him were identical. Beside him though, was a man I didn't recognize.
“Aviana!”
My Dad's face lights up and he takes large strides to engulf me in his huge arms. My dad was comparable to a typical lumberjack. Thick arms, stocky muscular body. He was a catch. It made me wonder how he had fallen for my plain, ordinary mother. I suppose you couldn't pick who you fall in love with.
“This is Henry. He has been helping out around the farm.”
My dad motions for the man to come closer. He was decent looking. More Ana’s type than mine. He smiled. I could tell he was nervous by the way his hand shook when he offered it. He quickly made his exit after that and my mom gave me an encouraging smile. I ignored it. I wasn't here to play the dating game. I was here to tell my parents that on Sunday I was in a match with a muslim lady I was pretty sure hated me based on the country I was born in.
My Dad took a seat next to my mom. Both looked at me earnestly.
“So? What was this news lovebug?”
Normally, I hate cutesy nicknames but my Dad had a bunch of them for us. He got a free pass.
I quickly filled them in and both seemed both happy and worried. They asked me endless questions. They also seemed relieved that the show didn't have mixed gender matches. After some more swamp water and me claiming to have dinner plans, I was back on the road. On my passenger seat was a cardboard box. It was full of Ethan's things. I look over and see his smiling face in a photograph. He was in the middle of me and Ana. We were happy, excited for the future.
“All you gotta do is smile that smile
And there go all my defenses
Just leave it up to you and in a little while
You're messin' up my mind and fillin' up my senses...”
Ethan was more than my big brother... he was my best friend. I missed him.
***
“I am not really a fan of amusement parks. I get nauseous easily. I know that seems like a bad trait to have as a wrestler who does a lot of dives of the top rope. For some reason, it is completely different when I step into that ring. I become someone else.”
Aviana smiles at the camera as she stands at the entrance of Dollywood, where on Sunday she would be taking on Parand Ara. A Syrian wrestler that seemed to have a chip on her shoulder the size of her home country.
“But in no way am I anything like the women that Parand seems to despise. I don't wear revealing clothing. I don't sleep around. I had a pretty wholesome upbringing and I respect myself and others. I finished high school early and I am not slowly obtaining a bachelor of science degree in night school. I have never gone under a knife to change my looks and the most makeup I wear is mascara and a bit of eyeliner. I am not here to sleep my way into any advantages. If anything I admire Parand. She has strong beliefs and is constantly pressured into conforming to what our society deems as the “perfect American life". It is not fair.”
Avi shakes her head. She obviously has respect for the differences in people.
“I can't blame her for being upset. In her culture, a lot of Americans would be considered disgraceful in the way they disrespect others and themselves. I may not agree with her beliefs but I can respect them. But in this match, I hope we can simply meet each other in the neutrality of the ring and fight a good match. Without prejudices. Only two women looking to work our way to success.”
Avi offers a genuine smile. You can tell she really just wants Parand to know that she sees her as a person, not as her religion or any other stereotype.
“I hope that Parand can see these things as well. I look forward to our match.”
