“Some would say that professional wrestling can be quite cruel…”

It was a unique experience for me standing in front of some young wrestling students who all wanted to be successful in the business. Myra Rivers’s wrestling students were those that I found to be a very impressionable and astute bunch. Most were eager but I quickly noticed a young lady near the back that seemed pretty tentative about what I just said.

“Trust me, I would know. I dealt with it five years ago at its worst, during my first run in SCW…”

It was definitely a happy feeling within me knowing that I could bring this up now without feeling sad or depressed in any fashion.

“...when, because of one bully that should’ve never fucking mattered, I spiraled into a darkness that I would be stuck in for two years… most likely three. I gave her power over me over some empty, stupid words that most of you in this room would be able to overcome. I allowed someone who I should’ve never allowed to matter, to define my wrestling journey and it would be the biggest mistake of my entire career. When I first lost the title to that woman, I felt like I proved her empty words right. I felt cornered, helpless, useless and after my father died, I failed to win a match for him that Father’s Day, losing to two women who ALSO should’ve never mattered… especially Crystal Hilton, then I failed to regain the title from the aforementioned bully, I felt like I was never going to get out ot it…”

I paused for a bit, knowing this next part was going to be hard.

“...and I compensated by becoming something I’m not and I will never be again.”

I took a pause to hear some whispers among the students, one of them even remarking that SCW’s locker room culture among the Bombshells was toxic.

“To be FAIR, the culture is much improved now than it was 5 years ago but you still have your occasional cancers that come in and bring down the vibe and are in it for themselves and you see that generally around the time when we do the Blast from the Past tournament and they come back for a cheap road back to the glory they are desperate to attain again.”

“So considering all that you’ve ever been through and what you’re describing with the culture, why are you even there?”

Myra’s students find themselves surprised by the remark that the tentative young lady in the back just made. I, however, wasn’t fazed as I addressed her.

“And your name is???”

“Jenna. Before I came here, I watched everything that you just described as it played out on my streaming service and it was easy to tell that during your first run, you were heavily suffering. I’m surprised you even went back at all.”

I took the question in stride before I responded.

“Jenna, SCW is a microcosm of a majority of this business, if not society today, you know? Cancers and poisons will never fade away in that company or any other. I want to be a positive force for change in that locker room. I don’t want Latinas to be ashamed of watching SCW because of Crystal Hilton’s existence or women like us to get discouraged because you have women that are in it for themselves and set such an awful example, or people your age getting discouraged when someone like Cassie Wolfe as an example, come in and struggle so much out of the gate when they first arrive because they may have jumped too soon.”

“So you’re there now because you want to be different from the status quo…” Jenna realizes.

“Exactly. There’s too much poison and drama in this business and I want to do the best that I can do to alleviate that if not change it completely. I made the mistake five years ago of allowing the empty words of others and the death of my father to swallow me whole and I would NEVER want the same thing to happen to anyone else and I WON’T let that happen to anyone else if I can help it. THAT’S why I do what I do!”

“Amen…” a male student says and what I just said brought cheers out of the audience in front of me, but I was caught off guard by Jenna starting to seem quite emotional.

“Are you okay, Jenna?” I asked.

“It’s just… my mother died of breast cancer six months ago and ever since then, my Indy experience has been really bad. It’s not so much losing more matches than winning, it’s most of my opponents being cruel about my mom ranging from things like ‘you keep letting her down’ to thinks like ‘she wasted her life raising you’. So, I can really relate to what you’ve been through…

“Guys, let me sit down with her for a little bit?”

There were some sighs and nods of understandings as everyone but Jenna left the room. I went to sit down next to her and be an ear to her.

“As someone that has been through what you’ve been through… though the bully I dealt with didn’t come after my dad’s death like that… I feel your pain and it angers me that people are like that in this business.”

“I get tormented constantly by all these people using my mom’s death against me and acting like I’m weak for not being over it…” Jenna added as she had to wipe away a tear. I’ve been told that I’m never going to make it. They’re all acting like I’m doomed to wrestle in other people’s backyards for five to seven dollars a match…”

“Wait, that’s what you’ve been doing? Backyard companies? Not even a real Indy promotion?”

“Yeah…”

“Oh Jenna, those places? With all due respect to the people that haul ass, there’s a reason why most people don’t go beyond Indy from those places. They’re tearing other people down just to get ahead or to make others feel better about themselves and if they DO progress to a global stage, they NEVER lose that trait. They’re not worth it! Have you tried to contact a real Indy booker? Anything?”

“No… I’m too worried about rejection. If I’m struggling in the ‘backyard’ scene…”

“Listen, you don’t need to go down that rabbit hole any further. You’re exactly the kind of person that I do what I do for now and exactly the kind of person I want to uplift and inspire to do great things for. Come to Into the Void with me, okay? I’ll sponsor you. I’ll get you some good hook ups to get started on the Indy scene and I’ll get you out of your situation.”

Jenna was shocked and overjoyed at the same time to hear what I just said.

“Wait… SERIOUSLY?”

I nodded.

“I’ll take you under my wing in my spare time and I’ll do for you what Myra did for me… well… after GCW, but you get the idea.”

“Oh my god, you don’t have to!” she exclaimed with joy.

“I WANT to, Jenna!”

Jenna practically leaped into my arms and gave me the biggest hug ever and I responded quickly enough to return it.

“I got you, okay? I’m not letting you suffer what I suffered five years ago and I’m sure as hell not going to let you become what I used to be.”

“Thank you! Seriously! You don’t know how much this means to me.”

“We start tomorrow, alright?”

Jenna nodded as we stood up and began to leave. Myra Rivers was standing by the door having heard the whole thing. She smiled at me and didn’t say a word, but I knew she was proud of me for what I had just done.

“I get it now…” I told her as Jenna and I left the room.

It was a hell of a feeling knowing I was taking someone under my wing for the first time and being a direct role model to someone.

My hope of course, is that come Into the Void, I can REALLY give the young lady a hell of a spiritual boost.

May 22, 2025

I was going down the elevator in my hotel trying to make my way to the lobby. Once the elevator opened, I was focused on walking out and finding a nearby place to eat for dinner, but Roddy came in and I was completely shocked. He saw me and I was feeling this guilty pit in my stomach knowing that things were definitely awkward between us after I kicked him out of my home and wouldn’t listen to him try to get through to me after my meltdown after Blaze of Glory.

This is the first time I’ve seen him since.

“Andrea…”

“I wasn’t expecting you to be here all things considered.”

“I wouldn’t miss this even though the last time we talked, you really went too far and too stubborn to really have any common sense to be honest…”

I was at a loss for words not knowing what to say at this point because I was too overwhelmed with guilt… especially as I thought back to that conversation that we had and I was just far too irrational.

“I was thinking that you hated me and that you were just going to start treating me like I did when we were kids.”

“I would NEVER treat you like that again, Andrea…” Roddy said with a sigh. “...how can you even think that?”

“I was just being overprotective of myself and I actually thought, in that conversation, that you were going to ‘show your true colors’ and be mean to me again and start running me down like you used to in the past. Honestly, that was very stupid of me to think that…”

“It’s not, Andrea. I get it. I have nobody to blame but myself for that and you were letting that chamber get to you a little too much to the point where you snapped back to a mentality you’ve worked so hard to break free from.”

“Either way, it was no excuse for you to treat you like that and I am very sorry. You were just trying to help me just like you’re trying to help me now by being here for me even though I did treat you that way and I appreciate that more than I could ever put into words at this point.”

Roddy put his hand on my shoulder understanding me in every way.

“I’m not only here to watch you beat Kayla and settle the score with her for good, but I’m also here to make sure that if worse comes to worse, you don’t spiral again.”

I scoffed at this.

“No, that’s not going to happen again. Really! I mean it this time. You were absolutely right about me when you said that I wasn’t seeing the special person that I can be. But, I’m starting to see it now because I’ve gained a whole new perspective on so many things that I don’t really know where to start.”

“Really?” he said, looking intrigued and perhaps impressed that I was able to come around so quickly. “What changed between our last conversation and now?”

“I met this girl…” I said with a sigh referring to Jenna back at Myra’s wrestling school. “She’s one of Myra’s students and from what I saw, she has tons of potential but little confidence in herself. So much of that has to do with the fact that the people she has encountered when she gets gigs often put her down and use her mom’s recent breast cancer death against her.”

“That’s fucked up…” Roddy says, before he comes to realize something. “Shit, she reminds me of…”

“Me…” I said without so much a thought. “She’s basically a mirror image of me in many ways. Knowing that, I realize that for as bad as I THOUGHT I had it after the chamber, it’s nothing close to what others are going through and nothing close to what I went through five years ago. It shook up my perspective so much in a good way and I decided I wanted to help her and be that light in this business. Someone like her is worth sponsoring and worth inspiring and fighting for so I took her under my wing and everything.”

Roddy didn’t know what to say, but I knew that he was definitely intrigued by this.

“After I met her, I’m really seeing things from a new perspective now”

“That Hall of Fame induction in GCW helped, didn’t it?”

“It helped me move past things and to come to the perspective that I have now, yeah. Myra apologizing for all the GCW madness did too but after all of it, I go into this rematch with Kayla knowing that even if worse comes to worse, there won’t be a meltdown. There won’t be any relapse back to what I was. I won’t be beating myself up and being haunted by failure and I won’t be having nightmares about Dad coming to me and telling me that I disappointed him. I’ll never lose sight of my destiny no matter what happens on Sunday and I go into this knowing who I am meant to be in this business. The locker room in SCW might be full of poison sometimes and the way some carry themselves is beyond me, but I’m not going to feed into that again. I’ll be different. I’ll be better than all of that. I’m not going to force people to change who they are because that’s not my place…”

“But being what YOU are and counteracting all of that…”

“Exactly…” I said with confidence.

Roddy was smirking at this point and I could tell things were going so much better than they were the last time we encountered each other.

“That’s the kind of mindset you should be developing, Andrea. I’m proud of you for developing it because that’s exactly the mindset that you’ll need and it will be MORE than enough to break the parallels between your two runs you were so worried about.”

“What parallels?” I asked with a sarcastic scoff. “I’m done comparing both runs at this point. It’s not going to do me any good. I just need to focus on the moment and not get so caught up in all that shit.”

“You’re doing the right thing, Andrea…” he said as we both hugged each other. “With this mindset, you’ll never have to even worry about experiencing that old darkness again. You’ve truly changed and grown and no match outcome, Sunday or otherwise, is going to dictate otherwise.”

“I’ve fallen into that hole for the last time, I promise you that…” I said with confidence as we left the hotel together. We continued to have our conversation and started to catch up more over dinner and I had the most freeing feeling in the world knowing that I never had to worry about that horrible, internal darkness and that cruel past from five years ago ever again.

May 23, 2025 (Arc de Triomphe)

I was standing underneath Paris’s world famous military monument that dated back to the Napoleonic era of France. It was definitely a bit chilling, but in a good way. I definitely felt like I was a little more powerful here and that strength and conviction was flowing through me as I began to express my thoughts.

“If I had to pick one landmark in Paris to come to, it’s this one. This memorial of sorts is to honor those brave souls that have fought for this country in some famous wars and revolutions. For the people of Paris, this place represents the strength and resilience of this city, if not this entire country and that’s why it’s so fitting for me to be here because I went from that downtrodden girl trapped in the darkness five years ago to a much stronger woman who is only starting to learn her own strength, starting to realize how special she is, and starting to recognize her own resiliency. The night I won the championship from you, Kayla, I proved to myself how resilient I could be. I showed that I could find strength in the midst of that brutal loss at High Stakes going the way I did and I know that while it won’t be easy, I am absolutely going to have to do it again. I WILL do it again! But first, allow me to say you’re welcome for giving you the rivalry you always wanted. I suppose that’s what I gave you in return for how wrestling against you over these last few months has shown me that strength and resilience. Those are the two things that continue to push me forward and WILL continue to push me forward no matter what happens on Sunday. I have learned quite a bit, granted still learning, how to care less about how other people see me. I am who I am. I do what I do. I say what I say. I know not everyone’s going to like me. I know that some people think I’m fake or that I haven’t changed from the past.

That’s okay.

I’m learning how to be far less obsessed with my own image than I used to be because I have the strength and the resilience to see past that. YOU have it too, Kayla. It’s just too bad that you don’t actually use it and that’s something that has held you back before and has caused you to fall short in a handful of big matches in the past. It honestly SUCKS seeing a wrestler of your caliber talking about how people might view you as a monster and a bully because of your match with Harper Mason. I don’t understand why you continue to do this to yourself. I get it because I used to care so much about that and to an extent, I STILL do because I’ll be the first to admit that it’s a work in progress, but why? I’m not calling you a bully or a monster. As you know, I’ve never gone out of my way to tear you down or root for you to fail. I’m not going to condone what you did to Harper, but I’m not going to condemn it either because I GET that you were going through some frustrations with the mixed tag title situation. HOWEVER, I AM going to say that it’s further proof positive that you can’t control your own temper and at times, you get in your own way. I don’t know if it’s a lack of self-awareness or feeling like showing some compassion every now and then makes you ‘weak’, or what it is.

But the truth of the matter is, I know I am going to beat you because you have the same issue that I once had in spades during my first time here and that issue is being in your own way and holding yourself back from your fullest potential at the worst time. It speaks to how fucking good you are because of what you’ve accomplished in SPITE of yourself, but have you EVER considered sitting down and thinking about what you could accomplish once you learn to fully get out of your own way? I worry about you because I feel like you’re driving yourself crazy, thinking that letting up for even a second is going to result in you losing a match. As much as we are competitors, we’re also human, Kayla. You and I share a lot more agreements on certain things in this business and I’m even willing to go as far as saying that we’re both the same level of bold that just might make people look at us and even have a bit of bitterness toward us because of how long we’ve shared the main event spotlight. I won’t disagree with your points about acknowledging losses and working hard to become better from then especially considering my own journey. Like I said, we don’t differ on much but where we differ is our approach…

I strive to be better every day, every match, and I stove to stare adversity in the face and make it my bitch again and again just like you do, but the difference is, I don’t make it a borderline obsession like I feel that you do sometimes. I don’t take it to the point where I have to be better than everyone nor do I take it to the point where I have to viciously call people out by name… well… I guess Crystal might be an exception but I digress…

I don’t take it to the level where I’m calling out how people are rooting for me to fail. You don’t see how fast you can self-destruct from that because your relative dominance and your perennial victories where it matters the most are making you far less aware of that when you need to be. Acknowledging your losses is one thing, and I understand that and I am completely professional when it comes to that even though I don’t spend my time on Twitter talking about every single match that I wrestle in. But acknowledging your shortcomings and your weaknesses? It takes a STRONGER, RESILIENT human being to do that and Kayla, while you acknowledge where you fall short in a match and where you strive to be better from that and while all of that IS admirable and I can respect that in a way, I don’t recall a time where you’ve acknowledged your weaknesses. I don’t remember you acknowledging how short your fuse can be at times in the worst situations. I don’t remember ever hearing you admit that the constant acknowledging of what other people say about you or what other people MIGHT be saying about you in private like it’s some obscene obsession is a weakness of yours. You do you, I’m not judging, but how can you truly be better as a wrestler or even as a person when you don’t acknowledge your weaknesses? I’ve poured my heart out regarding some of mine during this months long rivalry of ours. I’ve acknowledged where I’ve fucked up in past encounters. I OWN the fact that after the chamber, I had that moment of weakness where I felt like I was about to spiral again just because I became too obsessed with comparing my runs to each other and feeling like going for a one on one rematch ‘might’ result in the same old pattern again.

I OWN that, and I OWN that it’s not the way to think.

What I WON’T own, though, is a lie or a lack of judgment in character.

Such as this conspiracy about how I pulled this underhanded trick to get a rematch and that if you didn’t, I’d be talking about how you’re scared of me?”

I paused for a bit as I reflected upon what I just mentioned. The old me from years ago would’ve been ultra defensive, up in her feelings and wanting to tear down Kayla in anger for that. But the more mature version of myself that I’ve become couldn’t even feel any anger at all, just pity.

“I get it. I’m not necessarily someone that holds back on my words, but after all this time that we’ve had dealing with each other, you should know me SO much better than that. How in the world would you even THINK that I would do such a thing when I’m one of the few people in this division that has never torn you down? What would I accomplish by doing that? Last I checked, I was owed a rematch just like you were after I beat you. Correct? Maybe you didn’t like the way I worded it, but don’t you find it ironic that you’re over there worrying so much about what other people think of you and how people root for you to fail and how people are going to slander you and say all this untrue shit about you yet you go out there and make this outrageous, scandalous accusation about me? I’ve ALWAYS known that you’re not scared of me. You’re the one that went and tried to get a rematch with me after High Stakes. You’re the one that decided to go against the odds to win the title back against me in the chamber. I KNOW better… and so should you. I’m not ANGRY or anything, but I really pity you for taking one speech about how I want that rematch that I was owed the way you wanted yours after Inception and you twisted and turned it into something it wasn’t even CLOSE to! I’m so sorry that you felt the need to go that far and that’s all I have to say about that.

And where do you get off about Blaze of Glory?

Oh right, because I’m not all over social media talking about it and because I choose to focus on my own psychological well being, I’m DISSING you and DISRESPECTING what you accomplished and then it leads into all these other adjectives you used to describe me that I could REALLY get into but I know SO much better now than to even give them the time of day because if I DID give them the time of day, then I’d just be doing the same thing that you like to do with worrying about other people perceive you. You have your opinions of me. You have the right to interpret my words, actions, tweets, appearances, and so forth however you like. That’s fine. I’m not going to hold it against you because for my own sake, it’s not fucking worth it. Your interpretation of things as far as they pertain to me is honestly, not my problem but what I AM going to say about that is that by going off on that tangent about stretched truths and taking things personally and just pulling stuff out of thin air like that is that it falls right in line to what I’ve BEEN saying for months about how you give far too much of a fuck about how other people perceive you to the point where the most INNOCENT fucking thing like social media silence as an example, is “disrespectful”.

The person that I was years ago would’ve been so god damned angry and gotten thrown off her game and basically just given you the damn match. Hell, that person probably would’ve been hell bent on proving you wrong and proving those words… those OPINIONS… wrong. What you said about me? They’re all opinions. They’re all your interpretations. But they’re not my truth because one thing you HAVE to learn as a champion in any profession, wrestling or not, sports or not… hell, it’s a general fact of a successful life no matter what field you’re a part of… is that only YOUR truth about YOU is the truth that actually fucking matters and if there is ONE thing you HAVEN’T done in your career… at least in MY interpretation anyway… is grasp the damn concept. If you were so damn confident in your own truth about yourself, you wouldn’t feel the need to preach it seemingly every time you turn the camera on and shove it down the throat here and there and you sure as hell wouldn’t be trying to stretch things the way you clearly did with me.

But ultimately? I’m not angry with you for saying those things not just because I have learned to be secure and confident in my own truth, my beliefs, my journey that not ONE person in this company, whether it’s you, Crystal, Victoria, Hall of Fame members no longer on this roster, or anyone else I’ve come across or will come across, but because honestly what I feel for you after hearing you say those things is pity. How can someone who has been as dominant and successful and on a higher tier such as you be THAT blinded to your own weaknesses and so blinded by your attitude that you can never be satisfied with anything and that you can never be happy within your own heart and soul? Do you lack a sense of belief in yourself THAT strongly that everything and anything that isn’t perceived your way is perceived as a slight?

It’s too bad if that’s truly the case because in an alternate timeline, we might even be tag partners, allies or friends considering we share so many similar views about this company and the business as a whole. But I want you to know that despite it all, I don’t hate you and I never will. I’m not going to be angry with you regardless of what happens on Sunday and regardless? I’ll always carry some respect for you as a competitor even though as a person, I may not agree with your method to your madness.

But with how resilient I’ve been before and will be again on Sunday, and knowing that all I have to do is make you doubt yourself at JUST the right moment along with building the strongest belief in myself that I’ve ever had and STILL building…

That in heart and in mind, I AM stronger… and that advantage in strength WILL bring me to victory to close out the final chapter of the first of god knows how many books our rivalry will have in the end.”

I took a deep breath feeling super proud of myself that I stuck to my guns, even in the face of Kayla’s words before I turned off the camera.

*The scene fades up in Paris. Specifically, at a press conference being held prior to Into The Void. There was a crowd of at least 100 fans, if not more. The stage was set up with tables and mics, awaiting everyone's favorite superstars. This particular session had been going on for almost 2 hours, and was just coming back from a little intermission.*

Host: Welcome back everyone. Now that our little break is over, let's get to part 2 of today's conference, shall we?

*The crowd went NUTS, absolute excitement in the air. You could feel the energy from the crowd that was there.*

Host: We are gonna start with someone… special. She's got a hell of a career list of accomplishments such as being a former SCW Bombshell Roulette champion, a PWS Hall of Famer, along with a Queen of the Ring, Women's Champion, and many others! You either love her, or you hate her, everyone please welcome CANDY!!!

*The crowd is straight up buzzing. A burst of sparkly pink “pyro” - just a few stagehands with confetti poppers really… sometimes ya gotta make do with what ya have to work with - “explodes” at the entrance area as “Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leppard blares over the speakers. Candy skips out to the table, twirling in her sparkly pink-and-silver gear with her hair pulled up in 2 curly pigtails, tossing a handful of her own glitter into the air. She sits down and waves excitedly.*

Candy: Hiiiiiiii, everyone!! OH EM GOSH, I am soooooo excited to be here tonight in Paris!!! This place is, like, practically made of sprinkles and sunshine and dreams—just like ME!

*She bounces in place, her pigtails flopping. The crowd cheers, some chuckle affectionately. This woman that sat in front of them was a true paragon of everything bright and cheerful and good in the world. And the fans knew it.*

Candy: Okay, okay, okay—so this week I have a super duper big match against that meanie, Necra Octa…pus? Necra. Let's just leave it at that. Her name is a mouthful! And some one said she said something like that she’s gonna “wipe the mat with me like I’m some kinda discount dollar store cupcake.”

*Candy gasps dramatically. Hands on her hips. Still smiling, tho. It takes a lot to wipe that smile off her face.*

Candy: Well, first of all, if she did say that… rude. Second of all—cupcakes are amazing, and I would never be from a dollar store, thank you very much. I’m, like… at least a boutique bakery level of fierce!

*Candy clapped her hands, excitedly, before standing up and doing a superhero pose*

Candy: I bet Necra thinks just because I love glitter, hugs, and the color PINK that I’m not tough. But here’s the thing—glitter sticks to EVERYTHING. Just like me. You try to shake me off? I just sparkle more.

*Cheers are heard from the crowd. Candy gets fired up, still grinning ear to ear.*

Host: I have a few questions given to me from the crowd. Are you ready, Candy?

Candy: Bring it on!

Host: Ok, so first, this is a Powderpuff Hardcore Match. Are there any specific weapons you are looking to use?

Candy: Oh this is gonna be SO MUCH FUN! I get to use things like teddy bears, and pillows, and anything sparkly and glittery! I've never had a match like this, so I'm really looking forward to it. It's gonna be SO MUCH FUN!!! I know I'm gonna have a blast. I hope Necra does too. It's gonna truly be a very special and unique match.

Host: That's very true. As far as I am aware, it's first of its kind.

Candy: Like me!

Host: Very true. Next question. Do you think you overshadowed Necra's return?

Candy: I mean… I really didn't mean to. And I feel super bad about it. Like I told her, it wasn't my intention at all. I got invited by staff to come have a chat and next thing I knew… BAM… new contract signed. It's not like I sat back and said “hey, she just returned. Let's steal the spotlight and what not”. Cuz that's mean and I would never ever do that on purpose. It's not my fault that my return was more exciting.

*A hush took over the crowd. Of course she didn't MEAN it to come out mean.*

Candy: I didn't mean it like that. I just..  oh boy I'm digging myself into a rabbit hole, aren't I? Oooooh I bet I could use a stuffed bunny rabbit!

Host: Moving on… Necra hasn't been shy about expressing her feelings about you. How do you feel about her?

Candy: I don't really know her well enough to have a strong opinion on her. But I have been able to take people who hate me and turn them into friends before.  Like my bestie, Carmen. HI CARMEN!

*Candy waves to the camera quickly before continuing*

Candy: And don't forget Mal! We played hide and seek one time. He's a really good hider! But I broke through his wall. And I bet I could do the same with Necra. Just will take some time, that's all.

Host: I'd pay to see that. Now, do you have any final words for Necra?

Candy: I guess so. Necra, you better be ready, ‘cause I’m not just bringing sweetness—I’m bringing a SUGAR STORM. And when the confetti settles…I’m gonna be the one standing, shining bright like a rhinestone in a rainbow!

*The crowd erupts as Candy stands up and tosses a handful of glitter in the air, sending things to black*

March 30

I had the Blaze of Glory show on in the background, but I wasn’t paying much attention to it. As time has passed, I have felt progressively more relaxed to the point where getting ready for a dinner date with Liam felt like more of a priority than watching an SCW supercard. I was glancing at the Bombshells Elimination Chamber for a moment and feeling a bit disgusted seeing the likes of Mercedes Vargas, Cassie Wolfe and fucking Candy of all people try to win a world championship.

“That’s really the best they got, huh?” I said with a sarcastic scoff as I left the living room I was watching the match on and went into the mirror to finish getting ready for my date. I was at peace with not being involved with SCW at all. Or at least I was until I looked into the mirror. My reflection was bringing it all back and I could only cringe and try in vain to push certain memories out of my mind.

High Stakes was flashing back at me and it all came back: the embarrassment, the shame, the “why?” and the “how?” questions. Knowing deep down in my heart that it’s a match I should’ve never lost to, to a woman I should’ve never lost to. It was really bugging the hell out of me but I knew Liam was going to ring that doorbell at any second to snap me out of this funk. I left the bathroom and was quick to turn the supercard off because I just couldn’t take it anymore. Fortunately, the doorbell rang.

“Oh thank god…”

I went to open the door feeling relieved already, but I was in for a surprise when I saw Klaus, my mother’s trainer back in Germany, and not Liam standing in front of me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked with skepticism.

“I came here to talk to you. What the heck are you doing?”

“Getting ready to go out with my boyfriend. What? Is that breaking wrestler’s code for you?”

“I was just talking to your mother about the last few months with you and I had to come see you. I took a lot of notes, let me tell you.”

I rolled my eyes seeing a notepad in his hand.

“Why?”

“To help you get the fuck over everything and go back to SCW, that’s why.”

“Nope. That’s not a conversation I’m having tonight.

Klaus walked into my living room and shut the door behind.

“Oh great! Fucking invite yourself in why don’t you? We’re not having this conversation. As a matter of fact, the more I’m away from there, the more I’m at peace with things…”

Unfortunately for me, those last few words were said with a quiver slight enough to let Klaus know I was lying.

“Bullshit.” he said accordingly. “Instead of letting this haunt you for the rest of your career, you need to go back and face this, Julianna.”

“NO!” I said with conviction in my voice. “I’m NOT going back and not you or my mother can make me go back. It was my mother that made me take a break from it to begin with.”

“Yes, and it was the right move. But you can’t and you won’t run away from this any longer.”

“I can NEVER go back after that humiliation from four months ago!”

“You’re just using that match that you had as an excuse to run away because you’re the type of person that’s afraid of failure and afraid of accepting it. Rather than break down why things went wrong and where things started to go wrong, you’d rather sweep it under the rug and act like it never happened… just like your fucking father….”

I was incredibly ticked off the moment that I heard him say that.

“Oh NO! You do NOT get to compare me to HIM! You do NOT get to bring him up at all or bring him into this! You know how much I hated that man…”

“Tell me where the comparison is wrong.”

I found myself quite surprised when I realized that I didn’t have an answer for Klaus. Still, nothing was worse than the fact that I was just compared to my own father.

“I have been in many situations where I’ve had my back against the wall and I’ve been able to overcome it. My father, the moment any sort of adversity came his way, would often choose to give up at the first sign of trouble and to be compared to that is a personal insult that I’m not going to take lightly.

“Good! Then go back and face what happened. I’m not saying to go back tomorrow. I’m not even telling you when you should go back. You go back when you feel that you can, but as much as I can’t stand your attitude and the sense of entitlement that your father passed down to you, I know you’re so much better than being a sniveling little girl that wants to run away from all her problems. It’s for your own good. When was the last time you had a nightmare related to High Stakes?”

I was quite uncomfortable to answer this.

“It was recent, wasn’t it?”

“Last night…” I said with a soft sigh and some internal frustration in me.

“That’s my point…” Klaus responded as he opened up the notepad and sat down. “...you need to come to peace with all that. You shouldn’t be dealing with this any longer and the only way that’s all going to stop is if you go back. I’m about to show you what i’ve observed. Come over here for a second…”

Before I made any sudden movements, I happened to glance at my phone and I saw a text from Liam stating that he had to cancel and that he was sorry because a family emergency happened. This just added to my frustration and I went to sit with my mother’s trainer.

“I wrote down the biggest mental lapses that ended up costing you in the end: the fact that you were so worried about other people calling you a fluke world champion just because you retained against someone most people see as a joke due to interference…”

“I should’ve known better…” I said with a sigh.

“Falling for the bait when a certain someone wouldn’t stop talking nonsense about you, but that one was the most obvious one of all.”

“It’s going to take me a long time before I ever get over that. That made everything worse…” I admitted.

“The fact that your first Internet title defense was against someone so unimportant that the moment they left the company… speaking of running away from adversity by the way… you should’ve just stopped talking about her and yet, you beat the dead horse for weeks. Tell me something, Julianna. Why did you allow someone that unimportant to live in your head rent free like that?”

“I have no answer for that… again, stupid of me…”

“And then right before the embarrassment happened when you stooped to the level of the trolls all because you took who they voted for to face you as a personal insult. You did it all to yourself, You’re lucky you didn’t collapse long before you actually did.”

“You basically just outlined reasons NOT to go back…”

“SURE, if you want your name to be seen as a flash in the pan and if you want to prove you're the sniveling, spoiled, fragile minded child I figured you were in the first place.”

“...that’s not me…” I said with tears starting to fill up my eyes. “It’s not…”

“Then quit letting that match at High Stakes define you…” Klaus advised.

I took a deep breath.

“Okay. I can’t promise a certain time but… I’ll go back. I’ll face all of that.”

“Take all the time you feel like you need but don’t run away. Your mother raised you better than that.” he added before he stood up and finally left. I was able to gather myself and I knew I couldn’t run away from the shame of HIgh Stakes forever…

May 6, 2025

The comeback has been a mixed bag. I knew that for a fact. I knew rust was going to be a factor but at the same time, there was no way that I was fully back into it yet. I wasn’t beating myself up over Blast from the Past not going the way I wanted to (especially with how it ended). As a matter of fact, that didn’t make me angry at all. I felt numb about the whole thing probably because I wasn’t back into it just yet.

Running into Minka Carter, my ex-girlfriend, while I was on just a morning stroll on the other hand, THAT made me angry considering all the bullshit she put me through especially when I was going through a mental episode over something SCW related.

“Oh for FUCK’s sake…” I said to her in anger. I was surprised to see that she was very meek and wasn’t looking to start anything with me like she normally would. “Do you have a tracker on me or something?”

“Hi Julianna…” she said awkwardly. “It’s just a coincidence, I swear. But I have been wanting to talk to you for a while just to get some things off my chest.”

“YOU have things to get off your chest?” I asked as the bitterness started to come back. “When we were together, all you ever did was publicly treat me as a sex object and you didn’t give a fuck about me as a person at all. But after we broke up, you were always talking shit about me and you would always come around and try to start something whenever I was struggling mentally KNOWING that you could. Why the fuck would I even want to talk to you?”

“Okay… fair…” Minka responded before there was a brief awkward silence. “But hear me out…”

“I’d rather go back to Portland and experience the worst time of my career all over again than listen to what you have to say. But ONLY because I WILL be the bigger person… in other words, NOT my fucking father… I’ll hear you out. I have time for a little entertainment hearing what lies you have in your brain.”

I sat down for a bit and before long, Minka was sitting next to me. She looked like she had guilt and regret in her eyes, but I was struggling to determine if this was genuine or another ploy on her part.

“I am sorry about how I treated you in the past. There’s no excuse for it. I was going through so much myself and I took out so much of my insecurities out on you… especially when I was rooting for you to fail in SCW and I know you were surprised when I didn’t jump down your throat after you lost their world title and especially after losing the Internet title. I heard that it took a huge toll on you and in a way, I feel like I am at least partially responsible for that.”

“Thanks… I guess…” I said with a sigh as I was completely unsure if that apology was going to help me out in any way. “I understand that people deal with shit. I deal with my own. I’d rather forget some pieces of last year happened to be honest with you. I had a tough go of things for a while, I’m not going to deny that… especially since I was dead set on never going back to SCW at one point yet… there I am again.”

“For what it’s worth coming from me, I’m glad you went back…” Minka said. “Although that countout WAS bullshit…”

I merely scoffed and rolled my eyes at what she just mentioned.

“Honestly, Minka? Really… to be perfectly honest… it’s something that I’ve put out of my mind and isn’t worth having a meltdown over.”

“Even with her acting as if she actually accomplished something? I mean a count out is very cheap and you really DIDN’T accomplish anything…”

I was confounded by what Minka was saying as it was absolutely news to me.

“...you didn’t read any of her tweets?”

“I didn’t even know she had a Twitter nor do I care…” I said with a shrug. “I don’t give a shit about Rayne 2.0 or whatever they said about me in that hot garbage they called a promo. Really, it’s nothing. Given enough time, it’ll be completely meaningless and nobody will remember it. Period. I’m more concerned about the match I have in front of me and that it’s arguably a bigger deal than that stupid tournament, for me especially since this is my first supercard match since… you know….”

“Right…” Minka said, almost wanting to cringe.

“And knowing that I’m coming into this thing having lost three out of my last five supercard matches and the big match situation wasn’t being so kind to me before I took a break…”

“Can I ask you an honest question, Julianna?”

I rolled my eyes.

“What?”

“Have you fully gotten over High Stakes yet?”

I narrowed my eyes with the bitterness that was still going through me from that event.

“No…” I admitted without even thinking about it.

“That’s a shame…”

“Who the hell are you to have an opinion on that, Minka? Really?”

“You’re one of the best wrestlers I’ve ever seen and I mean that entirely. I know I was horrible to you before, but that doesn’t change that. I’m glad you’re finding your way again and that you’re pushing toward overcoming all that, but it’s so much better in the long run if you get over it.”

“Says the ex that was bitter about every fucking thing under the sun for god knows how long…”

“Julianna, you KNOW I’ve had my fair share of shameful losses on a stage like that in the past to wrestlers worse than me and you know that I’ve felt like shit over it. Wrestlers better than you have suffered worse losses yet were able to move forward and overcome that. Maybe gain a little perspective and you’ll have more of a spark going into that ladder match.”

“Look Minka, we’re cool. I’m over our past. Thank you for your kind words, but I’ve got a match to focus on.”

I stood up and began to leave.

“Julianna, should you win that match and gain that booking power…”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t do anything stupid with it and don’t make it about getting revenge on Bella Madison…”

I merely sighed with anger at this.

“...you’re better than that.”

“I can’t promise you any of that Minka. Bye!”

I could hear Minka deliver an annoyed sigh in the background as I walked away from her. All I could think about was how I wasn’t going to allow anyone to tell me what to do, yet I also realized that I was able to let go of a long past I had with her which bodes well for me.

Still…

I know I have to have this match…

May 23, 2025

The camera was focused on a shattered throne with even a melted crown nearby. I walked into the shot and I sat down cross legged on the shattered throne, clearly showing that I didn’t seem to care for titles of royalty. Even with this visual, I had to be intense and focused when I got the go ahead to express my thoughts.

“I am going to get this part out of the way. Kat? Crystal? Hell, even Seleana? You three need to turn off this video right now because aside from this opening shot, I’m not going to address any of you at all. Why should I when two of the three didn’t even BOTHER to say a damn thing and the one that MIGHT doesn’t even turn a camera on anymore? So, I’m not going to make the stupid mistake of wasting valuable camera time on the three that are NOT going to be a factor in this match. Now, as you can see, I am sitting in the middle of a broken throne and for very good reason: I don’t care to be called a queen. Not ONCE in my career have I ever even THOUGHT about carrying a title of nobility like that. Not ONCE have I CARED to be a queen. To me, the whole “queen for a day” thing is a title by name only. WHEN I win this match, the booking power is all I give a fuck about and nothing more than that. I’m not going to call myself a queen. I’m not going to act like a queen because the truth of the matter is, I simply don’t give a fuck about any of that. I only care about winning the match and using that booking power the way I see fit and BELIEVE ME, WHEN I win this match, there will definitely be at least a small handful of Bombshells whose lives I am going to make miserable. You can speculate all you want, but ultimately? WHEN I win and when it’s my turn to create some chaos around here, you’ll find out.

But ultimately? I’m not going to get ahead of myself too much. I STILL have a job to get done and come Sunday, I WILL get that job done so without further ado, let’s talk about the ONLY two people in this match that are even WORTH talking about at this point and that’s Cassie Wolfe and Alexandra Calaway, even if in Cassie’s case, it might be just BARELY. I mean, hey, I guess I should give her an A for effort for trying, right? As always, Cassie Wolfe is someone that talks a lot but doesn’t really say anything but I already KNOW that you’ve psyched yourself out for this match and when you first started to speak on camera, you gave it all away when you said that you were the only non-former champion in this match and how it was like the elimination chamber all over again. Yeah, word to the wise on that, Cassie? You actually stunt your own chances of winning that match because by making even a remote comparison to a match that you already lost before, it tells me that you’re still upset about losing that match and that you’re very intimidated if not in over your head. You gave away the fact that you feel like you’re overwhelmed facing the competition that you are going to face and really? The only former champions that even MATTER in this match, largely because they’ve mattered the most in recent SCW history, is Alexandra and I. For the rest? One hasn’t been a champion in 5 years, the other was a one hit wonder that never amounted to anything and the other one is the biggest piece of shit this division has ever employed in Crystal Hilton. You are putting WAY too much stock in those three women when they’re not even a FACTOR!

You’re overfocusing on people that don’t MATTER anymore instead of focusing on the forest for the trees and THAT is that level of weakness that you had that cost you the elimination chamber match and probably cost you against the likes of Mercedes and Crystal. Your focus should’ve only been on yourself, on Alexandra or on me. You’re worried about SELEANA making a beeline for you! I mean, SERIOUSLY? Who the FUCK is even afraid of her anymore? Who gives a fuck about POSSIBLY being double teamed by her and her dumbass wife of hers? Why are you THAT fixated on those two and what vengeance they might take out on you during the match when you have two people BETTER THAN YOU that you should be putting your full focus on? THIS is why you can’t get over the hump, Cassie. THIS is why you’re NOT going to win on Sunday. You’ve got some weird ADHD type thing in your brain that is pulling you in many different directions and is thus, preventing you from being consistent and getting to where you want to be int his business and that’s why when you face a match like the chamber or the match that we have going on this Sunday, you collapse so damn easily! This is BEYOND “young and naive” Cassie! Seriously! I don’t think you’re ever going to grow out of getting out of your own way because a lot of the time that you lose, that’s exactly why! And that’s not even getting into the fact that on top of being SO WORRIED about Seleana, you’ve built up a history with Alexandra recently that seems to be heating up a bit and if you’re not focused on the has-beens, you’re going to be focused far more on her than you are on me.

And I haven’t even GOTTEN into what you said to me and about me… though I’ll tell you right now, I am neither annoyed nor impressed…”

I took a bit of a pause to roll my eyes for a second.

“You couldn’t even FOCUS on me that well. You’re bringing up these hypothetical situations where we could’ve faced off and the thing I have to say to that is ‘who gives a flying fuck?’ I don’t care if we could’ve faced off in the Proving Grounds series because well, you didn’t even get past the first round of that. I don’t care if we could’ve faced off at High Stakes. I don’t. I would’ve won either way, that much I know for a fact. You barely said shit about me at all. You could’ve come after me for anything. Even if it was something as cliche as bringing up High Stakes or bringing up the Kayla Richards thing, you could’ve at least showed some claws, but NO, you barely said SHIT to me and you decided to go on about hypothetical situations where we could’ve faced each other before talking about how it’s your match to lose because ladder matches favor high fliers and you’re a high flier that’s 21…

I paused and let out a frustrated sigh, largely because I couldn’t believe Cassie was that naive… or dumb…

“...that honestly has to be some of the WORST logic I’ve ever heard for why you’ll win a match. But I guess when you’re losing so fucking much and being unable to capitalize on any god damn thing, then you have to manufacture SOME type of “hopium” out of your ass….

And against me, Cassie? HOPE will NEVER be fucking good enough to beat me!

Speaking of manufacturing things out of their ass…”

My anger was starting to boil a bit because now I had to address Alexandra Calaway.

“If you’re the queen of something, you’re the queen of self-delusion. I’m not even going to get into what you were saying before you even talked about me because it’s the same old crap about being a monster and how you’re so dominant and how you’re evolving and all this other repetitive nonsense that I have heard from you before but when you finally started talking about me, you were showing that delusion right out of the gate by referring to me as one of the few that has bested you…

‘One of the few?’

Isn’t your record like half wins, half losses or something? Don’t you have a loss to Bea Barnhart on your record? Honey, MORE than a few have beaten you because as I’ve outlined before, you’re the girl that things they’re the bigger dog than they actually are and yet no matter how many times the upper tier of this division like myself, Victoria, Kayla, Andrea, among others I can name actually beat you… and it’s happened MORE than a few times by the way… you STILL refuse to face reality or accept the facts as they are. You’re definitely on a higher tear than everyone else in this match other than me, but that’s not even a compliment at all. You’re the best of a brown bag bunch which is like saying that you’re the best player on the worst baseball team in the major leagues! You continue to believe in this delusion that you’re better than you actually are. And when it comes to me? I’ve always bothered you, as you admitted. You hate the way I carry myself. You hate the way I talk. You hate my arrogance. You seem to bring this up in some form or another every time we’re in the same match of some sort. I’m in your head rent free and I didn’t even ask for a fucking lease. I’m the wrestler that you seem to ALWAYS want to be better than for SOME reason… like if you’re the Crystal Hilton to my Andrea Hernandez or something, fucking hell!

Like, girl… honestly…

Why are you SO obsessed with me?”

I paused for a bit to give off that “dismissive smirk” that Alexandra not so eloquently mentioned in her promo.

“It’s the natural order of things to hate people that are better than you, obviously. But my goodness, with me, you’re focused on all the stupid little things. You’re focused on my attitude but you’re not focused on what I’ve done to beat you in that ring multiple times. Yeah, I cracked and exploited your cracks… on MORE than one occasion. I’ll do it again on Sunday and you know what the bitch is, Alexandra? It’s more because of YOU than it is because of ME! Don’t get me wrong, I still do what I have to do to beat you, but when you’re hating on me so much, hating on my personality, hating on whatever the fuck you want to hate on just because it’s me, you make it THAT much easier for me because as I mentioned, I’m in your head WAY before that bell rings and I KNOW that I am WAY inside of your head right now. You keep going back to the time I beat you in that world title match. You keep regurgitating the same thing… I mean come on… this is NOT the first time I’ve heard you give me the speech about how you evolved and how you used that loss as fuel…

…considering you’re still stuck in the same loop as you were at that point… you definitely haven’t fueled yourself very well…

But it’s the same old fucking song and dance with you!

I’ve HEARD that shit before! It’s like you FORGOT that there was another singles match between that title match and now and don’t think I forgot that you tried to say that I was a thing of the past and that I was “fading” when at that point, Kayla was the only woman that had ever beaten me. You’re bringing up ‘hiding’ and ‘excuses’... for WHAT? Why the actual FUCK would someone like me EVER want to hide from someone like you especially since you’ve never beaten me before?  I mean… you talk about how you’re not the same woman… yet… when I study what you’ve done since that match you’re so obsessed with and when I hear you talk about me the way you do… over… and over… and over again…

Yeah, you ARE the same woman.

You’re babbling on about ‘manipulation’ and ‘mental warfare’ and I’m sitting here just laughing my ass off hearing that because… mental warfare? What? Mind games? That’s never been my thing. Manipulation? Never been my thing. I speak the truth as how I see it, but that’s not to ‘manipulate’ people and it’s not a ‘mind games’ thing so I suppose THANK YOU for giving me abilities that I didn’t even know I had? I KNEW you were going to come up with LIES or a manipulation of truths… IRONICALLY… to fire yourself up against me and the bitch is I can’t even blame you because you have to psych yourself up against someone who has your number SOMEHOW…

But you don’t do it with facts the way I do…

You do it with your self-absorbed delusions and constantly overthinking things, stretching things beyond what they need to be stretched to. THAT’S why against me and the upper tier of Bombshells that I just mentioned, you’re more often than not falling short. That’s not me “thinking I’ve already won”, it’s called CONFIDENCE, bitch! If you have NO confidence in yourself, you’re never going to win and if you’re making shit up out of thin air or putting words in other people’s mouths or making people out to be something they’re not even TRYING to be… you know… like “manipulative bitch that thinks she has every match won”... OR if you’ re talking about how you hate certain aspects of people… whether they’re right or wrong, then you’re WAY too focused on the other person because you’re too fucking afraid to focus on YOU and how to be better in any way because…

Say it with me…

You lack the CONFIDENCE in yourself at the root of the problem.

No wonder you create this delusion within yourself and stay in that delusion…

Because you’re too AFRAID of reality!

Game, set, fucking match!

AGAIN!

Keep hating me, and being obsessed with wanting to be better than me…

Which… as long as you stay the way you are for as long as you have? I’ll tell it straight up…

You never WILL be better than me!”

That anger that drove me to those scathing words stayed with me as I turned off the camera ready to exact some vengeance on this division.

The residency of Brianna and Garrett Kasey in which they shared with Brianna and Miles’s mom, Mora, was one of relatively quiet calm and familiarity - at least on this day. The house was empty, save for Miles himself and his niece and nephew. Morrigan was sound asleep in the playpen in the corner of the living room, surrounded by an army of stuffed toys, all standing guard over their little charge. Riley busied himself playing with an impressive array of toys that Carter and Miles had gifted him, much to Brianna and Garrett’s chagrin.

Miles and Carter had taken their duties as the “fun uncles” seriously when they had taken their nephew and niece on a little outing to give their parents a little time to themselves. Of course, had Mom and Dad known what was to come, they might have put a little more thought into the Uncles having free reign for that morning. Because Carter and Miles took the children to the nearest toy store - which just so happened to be Hamleys. This store was, in Carter’s own words, what Toys R Us had strived to be. With a massive selection, it was the prime spot for the Uncles to commence spoiling.

Being less than five months old, the baby just watched from Carter’s arms as they offered one soft plush after another. That was until Miles dangled an Eeyore plush in front of her and her little hands snatched onto it like it was a life preserver. And the moment Eeyore’s nose went in her mouth, the decision was made. Carter then insisted that she couldn’t have just Eeyore without one of each of his ‘friends’ from the Hundred Acre Woods, so plushies of Whinnie the Pooh, Piglet and the rest of the gang were added to her tally.

Riley had struck it rich with his Uncles spoiling him as well, what with toys like the Hot Wheels Shark Car Wash and others. But it was the Sneaky, Snacky Squirrel Game that had both the three year old and his Uncle engrossed. That was until Miles heard the unlocking of the front door and turned his head to see his twin sister entering her home.

“You’re home early.” Miles observed, his sister working as an Esthetician. Brianna paused, taking in the sweet scene and privately felt that her children didn’t get to see enough of her brother - or his husband. Brianna dropped her keys in the ceramic seashell on the accent table beside the front door and she said casually, “I had a light schedule today.”

She then paused and looked around, then found herself asking, “Where’s Carter and Mum?”

Miles, his attention focused solely on the tweezers in the shape of a squirrel, trying to pick up a pebble in the game, answered, “Mum took Carter to her store to explore a bit.” Miles glanced up and added, “I’m hoping she can get him to open up a little.”

To which his sister nodded, having learned from Miles earlier in the week Carter was going through some self doubt issues and needed an impartial ear. It was one of the main reasons they were here - not that Carter knew that. Brianna then asked, “Didn’t you say Carter loved to read?”

Miles nodded, “Mm. He usually has his nose buried in a book in his down time.”

“And he’s something of a shop-o-holic?” She added, her eyebrows raised.

Miles laughed, “Carter got a wedding invite from two different Amazon delivery drivers!”

Brianna then said, her tone taking on a trace of amusement at her brother’s expense, “So you sent him to Mum’s bookstore, a place he might feel obligated to support?”

Miles glanced up, staring at Brianna and she could tell the moment the reality struck him as his eyes went wide and he pursed his lips, “Ooo! I didn’t think of that!”

Brianna sighed, walking past him and she patted him on the shoulder, “Carter’s lucky you’re cute.”


On a side street in London’s Bloomsbury district, there was a small shopping district that favored the tastes of more independent shops and cafes that tended to draw the attention of the tourists and passers by. But there was something special about these smaller shops, particularly the book store that stood nestled between a cafe and a flower shop. It radiated a quaint and timeless charm, its exterior a deep red brick with black awnings over the windows which displayed a variety of employee recommended reads. Golden fairy lights lined the underside of the awning that protected the small exterior nook with two round tables for patrons to sit and enjoy a coffee and a read in the fresh air. And above the door - the name of this locally owned business - “A Likely Story”. This store was the dream realized by the matriarch of the Kasey clan, the very woman who pulled her Nissan Leaf into the reserved parking spot.

Mora stepped out of the driver’s side, followed by her son-in-law, Carter. The young man never grew tired of visiting London, and to discover his mother-in-law was the proprietor of her very own bookstore absolutely enthralled him. She watched with no small amount of pride as Carter’s eyes darted everywhere, taking it all in. The window displays. The chalkboard on the pavement that announced local poetry nights and book club meetings. Even the ivy that perfectly framed the front door held a special charm to it. Carter turned to Mora who had joined him at his side and he asked, “This is yours?”

To which she nodded with a smile as she took his arm as a lady does and they walked toward the entrance. Carter took the initiative to open the door for her and he followed her inside and whatever he had expected to find inside failed by comparison.

Well-loved novels from local authors took prominence in this store’s displays; names such as Richard Osman and Colleen Hoover. Obscure titles and handpicked staff favorites along with the usual popular and classics titles by more well known authors filled out the displays. Soft lighting cast a golden glow over reading nooks with comfortable chairs, some filled by the store’s patrons. Mora followed Carter as he found himself exploring, savoring at first that scent of paper that any avid reader could recognize. Then his nostrils took in a new scent as he turned a corner to find a small coffee counter, all the better to draw in readers who enjoyed a coffee while reading something new. Behind the counter, a chalkboard menu listed local drinks and homemade pastries.

“I should have known you would have zeroed in on the coffee.” Mora half joked, well aware of Carter’s coffee addiction. He turned to respond when the pair were interrupted by a cheery voice, “I didn’t know you were coming in today!”

Carter turned to find an older woman, perhaps in her late fifties or early sixties and to be perfectly honest, resembled Diane Wiest from the film “Practical Magic”. She approached the pair with a charming grace and the type of friendly familiarity that made you instinctively just adore her.

Mora answered her, “I wasn’t planning to, but I wanted to show my son-in-law around.” And that was all the woman had to hear for a gasp, but not one of shock but a delighted surprise.

“Is this Miles’s husband?” She gushed, her older eyes sparkling almost with the delight of a girl a third her age.

“It is.” Mora answered. “Carter? This is my dearest friend, Cora Adkins. She manages the store. Cora, this is Carter…”

Carter took a step forward to offer Cora his hand but found himself suddenly enveloped in a big hug, the woman reacting as if he was some long lost relation, exclaiming, “Oh it’s so nice to meet you!” While Carter himself reacted with surprise, “Oh! You’re a hugger! That’s alright. I am too.”

Carter finally managed to separate himself from the syrupy sweet friend of Mora’s. She then looked over his shoulder to Mora and said, “I’ll just leave you two alone.”

Carter watched her walk back behind the counter piled high with books and he turned to Mora and observed, “I bet she knows the words to every Mary Poppins song, doesn’t she?” To which Mora took his arm again and allowed him to guide her as he explored her store.

Carter instinctively wandered to the fantasy section, his preferred genre of books. His eyes roamed over the selection of titles when he stopped on one in particular: a very nice hardcover edition of the Lord of the Rings.

“Carter, what are you doing?” Mora asked as she watched Carter pulled the volume from the shelf and tuck it into his arms. He sheepishly glanced around until he shifted his eyes to her and answered, “Uhhh, we’re in a bookstore? I’m buying a book.”

“You’re my son’s husband.” Mora stepped up, pointing to the volume in his possession. “Do you honestly think I’d charge you?”

But Carter proved to be equally as stubborn, stating, “You’re Miles’s Mom. Do you really think I wouldn’t support your business?” Leaving her without an immediate response but still, a pleasant feeling as she watched him continue to explore.

He picked up an edition of the literary classic, “the Picture of Dorian Gray” and finally, his gaze fell on “The Priory of the Orange Tree” by Samantha Shannon, its vibrant cover and promise of dragons too tempting to resist. That was when Mora felt best to reel him in, stating, “Okay, I think that’s enough for now before that son of mine has a fit.” Pulling him away before Carter could make for the small table adorned in rainbow colors and filled with books representing the LGBTQ community for the upcoming Pride month….


Carter had just settled into a corner table near the window, his newly chosen books stacked neatly beside him, when Mora appeared with two steaming cups. She slid one across the table to him with a smile, the rich aroma of roasted beans curling between them before taking the seat opposite him. Carter nodded his thanks and took a drink, savoring the surprisingly rich and flavorful taste.

That was when he found his mother-in-law's hand covering his own, drawing his attention to her warm, caring expression. She said “So, how have you been?”

“Me?” He questioned, seemingly caught off guard. “I'm fine. Miles and I are doing…”

“Carter,” Mora said softly, her fingers curling around his own. “I'm not asking about you and Miles. I want to know how you're doing.” Emphasis on the "you're”.

Carter stared into her eyes, trying to decipher what brought this on when it suddenly struck him. The answer. He closed his eyes and exhaled, “Miles talked to you, didn't he?”

“Of course he did.” Mora answered calmly. “Why else do you think he decided to take a detour from the capital of romance to visit home? He's worried about you.”

Carter shook his head “He doesn't have to…”

“Well he is.” She cut him off. “You know that son of mine. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He makes other people's troubles his own.”

“It’s one of the reasons why I love the man.” Carter said with a smile, setting his coffee down. “But he can’t keep doing that for his own mental health. Plus, this is as much a professional issue as it is personal. And Miles isn’t exactly impartial when it comes to my career.”

“He wants what’s best for you.” Mora smiled. “Being confident in someone you love isn’t a terrible trait.”

Carter said, “I know. He’s my biggest supporter. But with what’s going on, I think what I need is the exact opposite. That’s why my first instinct was to call my own Mom.”

“What do you mean?” Mora frowned. “Doesn’t your Mom support your career?”

“She never wanted me to be involved in wrestling.” Carter answered, shaking his head. “Every time I get hurt, it’s just another tally on her list of why I should get out of the sport. She and Grams barely watch my matches because it scares them so much.”

“That last match must have really done a number on them.” Mora observed, to which Carter nodded and said, “Yeah. My phone was lighting up before I ever made it to the hospital and … Wait, you watch?”

“Of course I do.” She said, “I might not be the biggest fan of wrestling but I am a fan of my son. And you.” She gave his hand a shake. “So talk to me.”

“I couldn’t even talk to my own therapist.” Carter shook his head, even though deep-down he felt the need to confide in someone. “I didn’t come all the way to London just to unload on you.”

Mora took Carter’s hand and wrapped it in her own, forcing him to look directly into her eyes. She said, “You listen to me, Carter. I have always - always - told my kids that they could come to me wherever they needed someone. And like it or not, for better or worse, you’re one of my kids now.”

Their eyes remained on one another’s until Carter’s lips turned upright in a smile and he nodded. He picked his almost forgotten coffee up again and slowly confided, “I really don’t even know what’s wrong with me. That’s the problem. I was fine going into the Elimination Chamber, even though everyone thought I’d never make it to the end. Then even after I did win, I was left wondering if I even should have because Jayden was a sitting duck thanks to Vincent Lyons.”

“Questioning the past is not going to do you any good.” Mora observed, her chin resting on her curled fingers. “You can’t change the past and if you continue wondering ‘what if,’ you’ll drown in self doubt.”

“Yeah, well… I’m already at that point.” Carter admitted in defeat. “I’ve had so many chances at the World Championship - and every time I’ve fallen flat on my face. In the tournament, I was eliminated in the first round. I challenged Finn and he beat me. Hell! Alex Jones even beat me and he hasn’t shut up about it since.”

Mora just sat there listening rather than intervene, knowing he needed to vent. Carter continued, “And ever since our match was made official, I keep having people tell me that I’m a failure. I always come close to the gold but I’m unable to go that extra mile to actually win it. Alex especially has been running me down, telling the world I don’t have what it takes to get the job done.”

“I imagine he means fighting dirty.” Mora said, to which Carter nodded. “It looked like you did pretty well for yourself when you were fighting with him. You’re not the one who was left running away.”

“I know.” Carter whispered. “I just-”

“You can’t let him get into your head, Carter.” She said, "That’s exactly what he wants: to throw you off your game before it even begins. You’ve trained too hard and come too far to let kindergarten mind games unravel everything. Stay focused on what you can control, not the noise he’s trying to make. Trust your instincts, trust your training. Block him out and play your game. Not his.”

Carter sat still as Mora’s words settled around him. He didn’t speak or nod, his hand still held lovingly by the woman seated across from him. Slowly, his shoulders eased, and his breath came a little more evenly. He looked up and into her eyes and just smiled.

“Thank you.”

---

The room was bathed in white - from floor to ceiling, and entirely empty save for the matching sofa and desk. The uniform whiteness reflected the overhead track lighting intensely, erasing depth and distorting perception, evoking feelings of isolation and sterility. Without any decor, the mind may begin to drift inward, amplifying thoughts and emotions.

The lone door that was almost invisible opened and in walked Miles Kasey in bleach-white scrubs, carrying a mannequin draped in a straight jacket with a magazine’s likeness of Alex Jones pasted on its face.  Miles nonchalantly dropped the mannequin onto the sofa and turned to look off camera.

“Oy! That basketcase patient of yours is ready doc!”

“Ah! Excellen Seig Heil!”

A voice with an obviously fake German accent called out. And there in the camera's range walked Doctor Carter Von Bottom. Clad in a suit, his hair clicked back, thick rimmed glasses and to top it off, a pointy beard glued to his chin. He stepped up to the sofa and as he left, Miles was unable to resist grabbing a handful of the good doctors backside.

Dr Carter watched as his aide took his leave before he turned back toward his patient, the viewpoint being from the mannequin itself seemingly.

“So! You haf kome to me Alex Jones fur help since you haf a problem vitt your noodle!”

He tapped a forefinger to his temple before clasping his hands behind his back.

“Zis is fery good! I always tell mein patients zat ze first schtep to recovery is admittingkt zat you haf a problem. Undt between you undt me…”

He leaned in closer toward the patient.

“I haf never met a more problematic man above ze neck zan you Alex Jones. You are a vorld class azzlete who has been respected by fan undt peer alike, undt here you schtand - or lay - ready to  yust throw it all aside. Just fur ze sake un taking ze easy vay out razzer zan earn your vay to your position as you vere once known to do. You cheat, Alex. or shall ve say, your schtrumpet Aaron Asphyxia, cheats for you. Undt vhile ze respectable zing vould be fur you to earn vhat you haf, much like vhen Aaron lays on your bed undt gives you ze full cowgirl, you take ze easy vay out.”

Doctor Carter began to pace back and forth in front of the patient.

“Now you must ask, vhy iz zis? Vhy do I cheat vhen I haf proven many times zat I do not need to? To get to ze root uff ze problem, ve must first explore vhy so many ozzers in sports uff all kinds feel ze need to cheat. People cheat in sports for a variety uff reasons, often schtemmingkt from a desire to vin at all kosts, wezzer for fame, financial reward, or personal ego. It iz ze allure uff victory, ze pressure to perform, undt even personal feelings uff inadequacy zat kan all contribute to cheatingkt behaviors.”

“For some athletes, vinningkt isn't just about ze trophy, but about proving zeir worth undt maintainingkt a positive self-image. At zis schtage uff your career, Alex, zis might just be ze answer zat ve seek. You vant people to remember you beingkt at your very best, even vhen zey are vatchingkt you at your vorst. For men like you, any attention is goot attention.”

“Vhile it is true zat some athletes may feel zey lakk zee natural ability or hafe an injury zat prefents zem from performink optimally, leadink zem to cheat to compensate. In your kase, zis is far from true because you have proven many times in zee past zat you neet not go zee low road to achieve ultimate viktory. You serft as a vonderful example to zee younger generations - both fan ant peer alike. So vhy zen do you not compete nov as sie dit once before?”

“Could it be because you look at zee kurrent playink field, your fellow wrestlers in zee locker room, ant sie see zem as younger. More fit? Perhaps efen shtrategikally superior inside of zee ring? If zis is zee case, zen zee answer voult be klear. Zee shtrong desire to excel ant outperform others can also kontribute to cheating, as athletes may see it as a vay to level zee playink fielt or gain an unfair advantage.”

“Or, could it be simple because…”

Dr Carter proceeded to remove first his glasses and then he stripped the fake pointy beard from his chin and he stared hard into the camera.

“Because you’re a fucked up asshole with all the morals and self respect of Donald Trump on his knees beneath the desk in the Oval office, giving blowjobs to Vladimir Putin!?”

Reaching back blindly behind him, Carter grabbed the one lone chair in the office and swiftly pulled it close behind him and dropped to it, still staring into the camera - IE the patient Alex Jones.

“Why don’t I just do the both of us a favor Alex and cut the bullshit? You can try to delve into the psyche of any one person who cheats in sports but there is one universal truth amongst the many: they are not victims. You - are not a victim! The truth of the matter is that your moral compass is obviously broken! Or maybe it was just never installed. You're like a GPS for ethical dilemmas, leading everyone straight into a pit of shame and regret. It really is impressive how you can navigate your life with a sense of right and wrong that’s as nonexistent as your ability to make a decent decision. Which leaves me to wonder, just what the rest of Wolfslair think of your recent life choices? In retrospect, I would like to think they remember just how you thoroughly chastised and reprimanded Miles for when he attacked Finn from behind. You lashed out at him verbally for his actions, leading such names as Alicia Lukas and Austin James Mercer to agree and turn their backs on Miles, acting as if the man never even existed!”

“And then you turn around and do not the same, but much worse. You beat the shit out of Finn badly enough that you ended up getting yourself disqualified. You pressured the higher ups for a rematch so that you could tie up your loose ends and what did you do? Oh we all know what you did! You embarrassed yourself and dragged the reputation of Wolfslair down into the mud by relying on Aaron to win the championship for you! I can’t recall Alicia ever needing help in order to pull off a win! Even at his worst, when did Austin ever have to rely on outside interference to pull off one of his many impressive wins? Maybe, just maybe… Everyone else in Wolfslair is about to open their eyes and see you for what you’ve become; a hypocritical shell of his former self! A blight on this sport that is going to drag their names down with you, the longer they bother associating with you!”

Carter stood up so fast that the swivel office chair beneath him was sent spinning back, settling hard against the desk.

“So let me ask you this, Alex. Why now? Before that first title match against Finn, you seemed quite content with your role in catering and being at best, a mid card Superstar. So what crawled up your ass and made you change your outlook on things? Because let’s face facts; your head is so far up your ass that it’s probably wher4e you do your best thinking! I am going to hazard a guess here and theorize that you decided that you were at a pretty late stage of your career. There’s been whispers in the locker rooms about that back injury of yours long before Finn Whelan ever made it public. And the rumors of a possible imminent retirement had tongues wagging for months. And yet there you were! Sitting in the background, away from the cameras and listening, allowing all of these people to give voice to your own self doubts. Your back concerned you as it should, and everything they had to say was only making it worse. You wondered how much longer you could go on inside of the ring from a physical standpoint and here your peers and the fans were speculating the same! Maybe even thinking it was time that you hung up your boots and let the younger generation take control and lead things from hereon in. And that right there is where you snapped.”

“Because when all is said and done, you are a self-admitted, self absorbed, egomaniacal twat waffle! You were watching the younger generation Superstars like myself take center stage and you just couldn't stand to share the spotlight! You truly believed that the further up the ladder men like me made it, the farther down you were getting pushed! So you shoved us out of the way and went to take back the spotlight that quite frankly, at this point in your career, you didn't deserve!”

“Try something new for a change Alex, and be honest. Who the hell did you defeat to earn that title match against Finn in the first place? You can't say that you beat Miles because for all your bravado and bluster, he took you to the absolute limit in a time limit draw! Yet somehow the very next week you get announced as the Challenger against Finn!”

Carter held out his arms in stark disbelief at the reasoning.

“I don't know if you played nice and played some bullshit political agenda with Mark or Christian, but in no way did you deserve that title match! Even less so did you deserve the rematch afterwards because you fucking blew it! You got disqualified by your own accord! And yet you have the balls to strut out here and question my validity as to why I'm your challenger!? At least I earned my place against you! At least I had the balls to step inside the Elimination Chamber which is a hell of a lot more than you can say! I had to go through six other men in order to get this chance against you for the Championship! I even went so far as to fight my own husband to get to this point, so don’t ever fucking tell me that I don’t have what it takes to go the distance against you! Don’t you believe for one second that I am not in my rightful place because I am exactly where I belong!”

“But you, Alex? It is truly impressive how you've managed to stumble upon success recently without even breaking a sweat. I mean, who knew that being an ass kisser and ‘being in the right place at the right time was an actual talent? Bravo!”

Carter applauded openly and quite brazenly.

“Alex, your success is like a participation trophy for a race you were too slow to even enter. It’s a pity that mediocrity can still find a way to stumble into the spotlight. You're like a broken pencil: pointless and always trying to take shortcuts, but in the end, you just prove that cheating is the only way you can even pretend to compete against men who have a longer and brighter future in this business than you could ever pretend to.”

“And yes.”

Carter nodded knowingly, but there was anything but merriment or even sarcasm in his eyes. It was something harder - darker.

“I am well aware I probably said some things that you were expecting. But in my defense, it's hard not to be predictable Alex. One can only say so much of variety week after week when dealing with an asshole that's as one dimensional as you are. It's like your personality took a shortcut through a flat field and forgot to pick up any depth along the way! You are not the unique and trail blazing star that you like to believe yourself to be! Do you think yourself unique? Do you believe that you’re something special and that everyone around you looks on in envy?”

Carter rolled his eyes.

“Bitch! You are not the special snowflake that you’ve led yourself to believe! Trust me when I say this: that there are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of wrestling promotions around the world - and in every single one of those promotions,  there is a man just like you! When God or whatever deity you may choose to believe in made you, he, she or they did not break the mold! They just took one look at you and hit factory reset and churned out one right after the other! Hoping to eventually get it right but thus far have fallen short. You're like something limited edition. Everyone pretends to care, but deep down, we all know you're just another common print in a world full of masterpieces.”

Carter nodded.

“Yeah. You got one over on me. But here’s the thing: that was back in March. You act as if it was a cakewalk but it took two of your curb stomps to put me down! I gave you a bigger fight than you were ready for and deep down, that’s what got into your head. The fact that you practically passed out from the pain and exhaustion to pin me in that match. And when I won the Chamber, you realized that you and I were going to meet again but this time? The stakes would be higher. So you went the extra mile with the insults, telling me that I didn’t deserve to be where I am now. How I always get close to the brass ring, only to let it slip from out of my grasp. Sound familiar, Alex?”

“And all this time, you thought that you were in my head when the opposite has been true.”

Carter took a step closer to the door and opened it up, giving the camera one last look.

“I’m in your head now Alex, and after you see me holding up what used to be your precious World Heavyweight title? You’ll never get me out!”

He slammed the door shut behind him.