September 24, 2020

Nobody said that escaping the darkness was going to be easy. There was a part of me that felt guilty, feeling like I was being harsh toward Samantha Marlowe in my previous promo. But my heart was in the right place and that fact alone was enough to suppress that guilt. Besides, I knew that when I was in that same darkness that Sam finds herself in these days, that it was incredibly difficult for me since it took so many years of trial and error, so many burned bridges and even hours of empowerment therapy at one point for me to finally get out of the darkness that had been weighing me down for so long.

Becoming the wrestler that I am from a psychological standpoint was a much harder, much longer journey than becoming the wrestler that I am from an accolades standpoint and I was thinking heavily about Sam when I stepped into a training wrestling ring in a gym that was five minutes walking distance from the Saxon hotel. I had just put down my stuff and I leaned against the corner, reflecting on my challenger, feeling whatever pain she may have been going through this entire year. My sympathies were with her, but that familiar fire was burning through me knowing that on Sunday, I had one job to do and that was to defeat her and remain the Internet Champion. I heard my phone buzz and I promptly picked it up from the corner. It was a message from Jason, my boyfriend. I opened it and I found myself disappointed.

“Sorry. I can’t make it today” he wrote me in a text. I merely rolled my eyes and put the phone back down as a result of having another reason to be annoyed at him lately considering his harsh, brutal stance and feelings about Sam. I wasn’t fretting about not having someone to train with as I had eyed the punching bags in the distance. But before I could make that move, I heard a familiar voice call to me…

“Hey…” I heard the voice of Andrea Hernandez say. I looked toward her as she entered. I was stunned to see that she had given herself a makeover but what surprised me more was a glum look of guilt on her face. She looked like she was ready to put in some training too.

“Hey…” I said back as she entered the ring.

“Myra, I just wanted to say I’m sorry…” she said with regret in her voice. “I should’ve never told you to not talk to me again and I should’ve never blown you off on TV…”

“Andrea, I get it…” I said, not being bothered at all. “...you were going through plenty. But, I bet you’re feeling better after beating Keira and this… makeover of yours… which is great by the way…”

“Thanks…” Andrea said with a smile. “...I know I’ve been acting out lately and I feel terrible about it… you were only trying to help me not go down the same path you did and I should’ve been better about it. I just… I can’t handle feedback for some reason…”

“We all go through it…” I reminded my protege.

“Are you okay?” Andrea asked me, realizing I was annoyed.

“I’m fine. It’s just Jay cancelled on me at the last minute. I was supposed to kick his ass…” I said with a laugh. “

“Hey, why don’t I train with you?” Andrea asked me. “I’ve always wanted that opportunity but… being what you were in GCW at the time… you never gave it to me.”

“You know… I don’t see why not…” I told Andrea. “Let’s do it.”

We both walked to the center of the ring and we locked up. Fighting against Andrea, even in a training scenario, I can feel her fire and her passion. She was giving me everything she had. But as this practice match went on, I was countering more and more of her high flying strikes and instead of adjusting, Andrea got frustrated and angry and she kept trying to force an offense that I knew all too well. Hurricanranas were reversed into powerbombs, moonsaults were blocked, lariats were countered into armdrags and it was just one of those moments where I was on point. I noticed that the more I countered Andrea’s offense, the angrier she got. When I ducked a spinning heel kick and subsequently countered with a Spirit Breaker, Andrea let out a burst of anger in the form of a frustrated grunt. I went to help her up, but she shoved me away.

“Andrea…”

“WHY can’t I figure you out today? What the fuck is wrong with me?” Andrea said in frustration.

“It’s just training… don’t take it so damn hard…”

“Everything I throw at you, you have an answer for! You need to stop that…”

“Stop what?”

“Showing  me up!”

“I’m not…”

Andrea sighed as she got up.

“I’m sorry… it’s just… I can’t take another reminder of how far I’ve fallen… how I’ve just become old news… how I can’t be happy anymore… how I’m nothing without my dad… how I’m just… going to let him down… how much of a flash in the pan I am…”

“Andrea… you need to stop…” I told her out of concern. “You need to quit beating yourself up. You’re just going to make things worse for yourself and one of two things are going to happen: you’re either going to lose all confidence in yourself or… you’re going to go down the same dark path that I did… hell… one might even directly feed into the other…”

“Why do you care so much?” she asked me.

“Let’s sit down…”

Andrea and I sat next to each other down near the corner, catching our breath.

“I know part of it is my fault…” I admitted to my protege “...but you’re far too good and far too strong to be beating yourself up so much… and that’s all you’ve been doing for months.”

“I know, I know… I’m reminding you of you…”

“More accurately, it’s like I’m facing Sam…” I paused as Andrea raised her eyebrows. “Now, I’m going to need you to listen to me for a while… okay? It’s finally time for that mentor-protege chat that’s years overdue. Do you know why I was what I was… when I was treating you like shit… when I told you that you wouldn’t amount to anything? It’s because I was in that phase where I would do nothing but beat myself up over the dumbest reasons. Losing a world title to an upstart? I was killing myself for losing to an opponent that I felt I should’ve beaten. Losing a match I dedicated to my unborn daughter and having the worst ending possible in PRW? I was beating myself up for letting someone I love down…”

“UWA…” Andrea reminded me, remembering that we had both gone through the same ringer in that hellhole.

“God yes…” I said. “Let me give you the full lowdown on that night in Seattle… when I beat myself up far too hard and never recovered from there…”

June 2017

Seattle, Washington.

UWA was hosting their flagship show Olympus in Seattle on this very night. I was reigning as the UWA X-Limits Champion and I was both miserable and frustrated.

“None of this is right…” I had told my ex-husband Adrian as he stood with me in the locker room. “I understand that I have to defend my title on the biggest show of the year. But against RICKY OCTAVIUS? REALLY? They just HANDED HIM the fucking shot for NO REASON! He just comes back from injury and he waltzes in and gets an instant title shot? BULLSHIT! It’s not fair, Adrian…”

“It’s not… I agree…” my ex-husband states. “...but that’s UWA for you…”

“I’ve tried SO HARD to concentrate on walking out of here with the title and getting MY MOMENT in this fucking company for once… but this BULLSHIT… I swear… I know that the powers that be are trying SO HARD to make Ricky the next best thing because he’s SUCH a management favorite but this is ridiculous! He doesn’t deserve this! Give me one reason why I shouldn’t just walk out of here, drop the title on the boss’s desk and just get the fuck out of here? You know how much pain I’m in, Adrian… especially with this company. I don’t know how much longer I can last here… this company is doing everything it can to shatter me… I swear…”

“I’m going to give you two reasons, Myra…” Adrian stated. “...the first reason? You’re BETTER THAN HIM!”

“Of course…” I said in response.

“You’re more experienced than him. You’ve actually done more in UWA than him. You’ve beaten him a couple of times before, so you can definitely do it again. Is he good? Sure! But this is someone that you beat nine times out of ten. You’ve been a world champion and he’s never going to amount to that no matter how much UWA tries to force him down the throat. He’s lesser competition! They literally gave him the chance because there was nobody else and that’s it. And the second reason… isn’t it obvious? Kimberly…”

“Right…” I told him, remembering my daughter who at that point was about three and a half years old. “...the most important piece of my world! I’ve let her down so many times and this match is for her. Seeing her again for the first time in an eternity… god, that was such a motivator because it reminded me who I’m fighting for. You’re right! With those two reasons, there’s no way I can lose! As much of an injustice as this is… I know that I can right this damn injustice… I’ve done it time and time again… and I’m going to tell UWA to REALLY shove it up their ass…”

“That’s the Myra that I know…” my ex-husband said.

We parted ways and I went into that match feeling like I had it in the bag… only…

Two hours later…

“Myra… I’m so sorry…” my ex-husband said as I sat completely empty and devastated. Leaning against the lockers in the room, with no X-Limits Championship to show for it, I felt like I was nothing but a ghost. “...I know that the way this whole thing turned out wasn’t fair…”

I was hardly listening to my ex-husband at this point.

“But… you’re going to bounce back from this!”

“...no…” I said back to him, much to his shock and surprise. “There’s no way…”

“Myra…”

“I haven’t won on a flagship show in six years… and that horrible streak continued tonight…” I said, my voice getting softer and sounding more defeated. “I dropped the ball… I fought someone that had just come back from injury, in a ladder match, less experienced than me, far inferior to me… someone that you said that I would beat 9 times out of 10… someone that I had even beaten a couple of times… it’s a match that I should’ve won… and I didn’t… I’m nothing… losing to someone like that...”

My ex-husband didn’t say a word.

“I’m never going to be the wrestler my mother was…” I said through my tears as I continued to beat myself down. “I’m always going to be the worst daughter ever… even worse… the worst MOTHER ever… I dedicate a match to my daughter… AGAIN… and I CAN’T WIN! I’m never going to get out of my mother’s shadow… I’m always going to be a fucking garbage mother… everything that my father ever said about me… he’s right…”

“Don’t you think you’re taking this too far?”

“I’m nothing… just like my father always thought I’d be… I’m just a screw up who can never win when it really counts. I’m over… my career is on its last legs… and I have nothing left. Every time I think I can’t get any more miserable in this fucking trash company… something ELSE has to go wrong to bury me further into the ground…”

“You can turn this around…” my ex tried in vain to say in encouragement.

“No… I can’t!”

“Myra…”

“Get away from me…”

“But…”

“GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!” I screamed, completely surprising him and getting him to leave. I didn’t know it yet, but this was just the first domino to fall that would eventually lead to Adrian becoming my ex-husband, but most importantly in my own mind, there I was, in darkness. I felt like I was nothing more than a piece of trash at that point and with the way UWA treated me the entire time I was there, there was no reason for me to have any faith in myself at all. I spent the rest of the night in tears, feeling like I was nothing but a screw up that was always going to choke when it mattered the most.

“I will always be nothing…” I told myself, driving home my self-abuse even more. “Why can’t I EVER be anything in this business?”

Considering that I was gone from UWA a mere three months later, this event marked the time where I hated myself as a professional wrestler and myself as a person more than any time in my career before or since…

Present Day

“Wow…” Andrea said, completely floored by the story that I just told her. I could see somewhat of a fear in her eyes, likely realizing the consequences of a self-defeatist attitude. “I had no idea you were that much of a wreck back then… and it scares me because that could’ve been me…”

“What happened in Seattle with UWA… it was just another chapter of the repetitive self-loathing that I was feeling…” I told Andrea. “Everything I felt that night… it’s all stuff that Sam’s gone through lately. Losing a championship to a lesser opponent, Candy in this case, that she’d normally beat 8 or 9 times out of 10? Check. Feeling like she let her family down as well as feeling like she’s going to stay in someone’s shadow? Felt it with my mother, felt like I let down my daughter… she’s going through the same thing considering she keeps harping about her sister. Feeling like it’s over and there’s nothing left… you read that letter, right?”

“I did…” Andrea admitted. “It was… you know… I’m just not going to comment on it. I can relate to her myself on the family thing… but… damn…”

“It was a pattern with me for years, Andrea…” I admitted to her. “The peaks and valleys… they’ve been extreme for most of my career. When I’m experiencing the peaks… oh my god, greatest feeling in the world. It’s like I’m the best wrestler in the world and I’m suddenly invincible. Everything is going right. I’m pulling off winning streaks and beating big names left and right as I have ever since that loss to Bobbie Dahl, I’m recognized as one of the best and a force to be reckoned with. But the valleys… oh no… those were miserable… suddenly, nothing can go right for me, I’m losing to wrestlers that I’m supposed to be beating, I’m always losing to the big names… and not only do I feel like I’m over the hill, everyone else says it too….

“Sounds a lot like Sam…” Andrea stated.

“That’s because this year? That’s BEEN her. I get it… when you’re on a high… you’re super confident, but that confidence goes away the moment you experience a setback and you’re back to feeling sorry for yourself. You went through it too… your win over Candy… and then the battle royal. It’s hard, Andrea… the journey that I’ve been through… all the hurdles I’ve had to overcome to become what I am. When you add the training, the Indies, my injury spells and my maternity retirement to the career that I’ve had… mainstream since 2008 and all… then what you have is 18 years! It took me 18 years to FINALLY get this business. It took me so long to finally learn how to stop beating myself up over shortcomings. I don’t want you to take that long Andrea… not even HALF as long… and I’m going to do whatever it takes to help you… to help Sam in any way I can… because I never want anyone to go through the same thing that I did. Overcoming my own insecurities and self-doubts is the best thing that ever happened to me…”

“How?” Andrea asked. “How were you able to do it? I know you better than anyone else on the roster and the one loss that you do have on your record… you know… to Bobbie… that SHOULD HAVE affected you! That should’ve broken you. You should’ve gone into that match with Amber Ryan a complete void and someone that was about to be blown out of the building… but you didn’t… how?”

“You better listen to this next part, Andrea…” I began, maintaining my stern, confident demeanor. “...because this is how YOU are going to get out of the darkness yourself… because this worked for me… and I know it’ll work for you too… let me tell you about that night… when I lost to Bobbie… and when I finally figured it all out…”

May 11, 2020 (the day after CC268)

Losing to Bobbie initially stung me. While I knew that it was only my second match in SCW, it wasn’t nearly enough for me to prevent that loss from getting to me.

“Everywhere I’ve been…” I told my sister Adrianna as we met back in Miami. “I’d always go on some sort of tear or some sort of streak right out of the gate. It didn’t happen here. Two matches in and I’m already a loser…”

“Sis… don’t even start…” Adrianna responded.

“I know that going to SCW at my age… it’s an uphill battle in and of itself. Yesterday, I really wanted to do something GOOD for the business by beating Bobbie. I really wanted to make it a good Mother’s Day too. But… I lost to the biggest piece of immature SHIT on the Bombshells roster and it’s… it’s embarrassing… maybe I’m biting off more than I can chew by joining this company at 35 going on 36… if I can’t beat someone like Bobbie… then who the hell am I capable of beating? I don’t want to be a Jessie Salco level perennial loser…”

“And you won’t be…” Adrianna said. “But for fuck’s sake sis… it’s ONE loss! It’s just your second match back after you were out of the ring for what? Three months? It was always going to take you some time to get your legs back… and this IS the toughest company you’ve ever wrestled in.”

“I know but…”

“But NOTHING…” Adrianna interjected. “If you’re beating yourself up for this, stop it! Just stop it! You have no reason to! I know that a loss stings and you have every right to be bummed about it, but this has been your problem your entire career. You suffer one setback and the sky is falling and that needs to STOP! You do it ALL THE TIME! If you can’t be better about setbacks for yourself, at least be better about setbacks for Kimberly’s sake because she needs a strong mother to teach her that you can always get up whenever you’re knocked down. You’re done feeling sorry for yourself over losing to Bobbie. I get that she’s horrible and that losing to her is a pride bruiser… but enough! Do you need me to go down the list of all the times you self-destructed over ONE set back?”

“You know… just do it! Name off as many as you can. Yeah, it hurts… it hurts like HELL to lose to someone like that and it’s discouraging considering this setback happened so early in the hardest journey of my career but I can’t help it. It’s a bad habit of mine and… that empowerment therapy that cousin Cindy runs has been extremely helpful… but… UGH! Bad habits are SO hard to break…”

“Then I’ll help you break that habit, Myra. Let me run down the list.

Losing the two world titles that you had in PRW… it broke you and put you in a big slump both times…

There was losing to your biggest rival ever when you decided to retire to be a mom… that made you hate yourself as a person and that made you put your career above your own daughter…

There was UWA… and EVERYTHING about UWA… that nearly drove you to the point of retirement….

There was Carnage Wrestling and all the shit that happened there… when you lost the Ultraviolent Championship the first time and you felt like you were completely worthless and that you were never going to be a world champion again… and then when you left after you lost it the second time and you didn’t think you had one more run in you…

Every single time… Myra… every single time… every loss… every setback, you have this horrible habit of beating yourself up and hating yourself and that needs to stop! You’re not worthless over one loss. SCW isn’t too big of a hill for you just because you lost to someone like THAT! You’ve had a better career than 90 percent of professional wrestlers that have ever wrestled in this business and that’s not good enough for you? You’re STILL trying to prove yourself to a father that died 11 years ago? You’re STILL trying to get out of your mom’s shadow and trying to prove that you can be just as good as she was when you’ve long surpassed her? You’re STILL not happy with yourself as a wrestler even with all you’ve done? 18 championships! 18! Do you know how many wrestlers don’t even survive long enough to even have 18 TITLE SHOTS?”

“Sis… you only just found out you were pregnant, I don’t want you to…”

“Am I right, or am I right?”

I took a moment to soak in every word that my sister had just said and it wasn’t long before that empowerment therapy paid off in a big way when I nodded my head and snapped out of my brief little funk that my loss to Bobbie had caused me.

“You’re right… I need to stop doing this to myself. I had a moment of weakness… and I’m sorry…”

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to. You want to apologize to someone, look in the mirror… look in the mirror, forgive, and let go… and start all over again. I know you’ve been through the ringer and through hell time and time again over your long career… but it’s time to move on and let go…”

Adrianna walked away from me and I was left shocked. I knew she was right and at this point, any opportunity to beat myself up over that loss to Bobbie had disappeared. For the following two days, I had plenty to think about… and two days later, I finally did the one thing that allowed me to escape the darkness of my own past…

May 13, 2020

“I’m sorry…” I said to myself in the mirror, feeling genuinely guilty. “I’m sorry for all the years that I psychologically beat you down over your shortcomings. I’m sorry that I haven’t appreciated you enough for everything you’ve been able to accomplish. I’m sorry for every single time I ever said that I should be done with this business and that we should just give up and not wrestle anymore. I’m sorry for all the bridges that have been burned because of all the times we’ve been broken down and beaten up and feeling sorry for ourselves. I want to move forward. I want Sin City Wrestling to be different. I don’t want to suffer anymore. What I want is an inner peace that I’ve never had before about this business. I also want you to know that I forgive you for all of your shortcomings.

I forgive you for all those times that you had lost a big match.

I forgive you for all those times that you failed in a big way.

Most importantly, I forgive you for that time in your career where you lost it all, took out your insecurities on everyone, became one of the most hated women in wrestling, betrayed every moral and value you were ever taught growing up and through your wrestling training. You are enough… and I want you to know that. I know that Sunday didn’t go as you wanted, but that’s okay. It was one stumble, it was one setback! You can overcome this! You WILL overcome this! From this point on, I vow to be so much nicer to you. I will never, ever beat you down or consider you worthless over a setback ever again!

It’s time that we start over on a clean slate and no longer allow the past to burden us. We can allow it to teach us… we can allow it to motivate us… but it will never burden us again! Let’s throw all those rocks in the ocean and have a clean basket…

Let’s start over…

Let’s do something special…

And let’s end the wrestling journey on the brightest note that we can…

Alright?”

After talking to myself in the mirror, I certainly felt empowered and it was at this point, that the loss to Bobbie was basically a faded memory that wasn’t sticking in my mind anymore. The darkness of my past was starting to fade away. It was at that moment when I realized that I had finally escaped the shadows that had burdened me for my whole career. Of course, I didn’t realize the subsequent effect it would have on my career, but ever since this moment where I cleaned the slate with myself and forgave myself for all of my shortcomings and for all of the times I ever beat myself up over the most daunting setbacks I ever faced, I’ve felt so much better about myself… and this burden being gone has certainly been a factor in regards to my success in SCW ever since…

September 24, 2020

“I’m blessed Andrea…” I told her as she seemed inspired by my story. “...there have been so many times where my career could’ve ended. I’m so blessed that after everything, I still get to do something that I love. I’m so lucky that through it all, I’m strong enough to pull through not just to get out of that darkness… but also to be at my very best… even now. Sometimes, I swear that I’m the luckiest wrestler in the world to even be doing this. You can overcome this too… I believe in you.”

“Why?” Andrea asked. “Why do you invest so much in trying to help me… to help Sam…?”

“I want to give back… simple as that. I want to keep you from going down the same path and I’m confident that I’ve been able to do that…”

“You have…” Andrea says. “I get it now! Thank you so much! I promise you and I swear on my dad’s grave that I will NEVER, EVER go down the same path.”

Andrea and I gave each other a brief embrace before she slid out of the ring. I reflected on my own journey after that for a little bit before I started to focus on Samantha Marlowe again. I realized that our journeys definitely were similar. Once I set up the camera near the punching bags, I realized even more how lucky I was that I was not only STILL wrestling, but doing so well. I realized how fortunate I was that I was no longer living in the dark… but at the same time… I also realized how much Sam was still living in it…

I turned on my camera and began to express my thoughts for Violent Conduct one more time…

“Sammy… you’ve probably heard the words that I’ve had to say by now. I hope that you’ve taken them well and that they help you in some way because in none of that, I ever meant to be harsh. I know I’ve said this to Kate in the past, but you do remind me so much of me… even more so than Kate did. In fact, if we met earlier in our lives, I have a feeling that we’d not only be the closest of friends, but gosh, maybe even surrogate sisters. That’s how much respect that I have for you and it hurts to see someone of your caliber suffer as much as she has. It felt like a punch in the gut when I read that letter that you wrote to Christina. Like I said before, I get it. But here’s a couple of questions that I want to pose to you, Sam. You’ve had an amazing career here in Sin City Wrestling. You’ve done more than most bombshells could ever dream of doing whenever you walk in the door. The first question that I have to ask you is, why do you have to beat yourself up so much? I get that valleys and slumps happen and I totally understand that there was that ‘Sam Marlowe is past your prime’ talk in the locker room when you went on that post-Candy fee fall. I get that all of that talk can get very grating backstage. You look at a bombshell like Bea Barnhart, for example. What’s her win-loss record? How many times has she gone in that ring and failed? How many opportunities has she had that she has blown? And yet… every single time she’s in that ring, she fights her heart out.

Every single time she cuts a promo, she’s cocky, she’s confident, and she’s got that ‘I’ve got this attitude’ no matter how many times that girl falls short.

You look at a bombshell like Mercedes Vargas. Do you realize how often she gets heat from the other women in the locker room? Gosh, you hear ‘Mercedes is past her prime’ over and over and over again and it’s basically GOSPEL at this point! Yeah, Mercedes has more losses in her career than she has wins… but she has a resume no matter how many people want to downplay it with their ‘what have you done for me lately’ mentality. No matter how many losses she racks up, Mercedes puts the camera on and she still acts like she’s the shit… you know why? Because SHE knows that nobody can take her resume away from her and that gives her confidence. Albeit… there’s the flipside of her just resting on her accomplishments and that’s not good… but you see what I mean?

It’s that attitude… minus the resting on the laurels, that you need to carry going forward.

‘Yeah, I’ve fallen on hard times, but I’m still Sam Marlowe, damn it!’

Again, I get it. I used to beat myself up ALL the time. Every time I suffered a big setback, I was always the one that was feeling like a worthless piece of shit because I TOLD MYSELF I was a worthless piece of shit. Nine years ago in PRW… when I was reigning as a tag team champion… I had won a match on PRW’s flagship show… but my match on the card wasn’t a semi-main event or a main event… it was an upper midcard match against a never was who wasted her potential and even though I WON… I beat myself up because I looked at where I was a year prior and I felt like I was declining. Seven years ago… when I lost to the biggest bitch I’ve ever met in my career on PRW’s last show… when I failed to become a world champion in dedication to my unborn daughter… everything that I had accomplished in PRW suddenly didn’t matter to me anymore and I flushed it down the toilet.

Three years ago… UWA… it didn’t matter to me that I had been a world champion in GCW just seven months prior to my departure. It didn’t matter that at that point, I had been a 15 time champion that had won 5 titles in 2 years since returning from maternity retirement… I flushed it down the river because I was beating myself up over the most miserable experience of my career. Just earlier this year with Carnage, it didn’t matter to me that I won 3 titles there, including 2 Ultraviolent titles, I was beating myself down and calling myself a piece of shit because I never won the world title there. I took ALL of my successes for granted over something that I never had… and it was STUPID of me… I was being so UNGRATEFUL! I was taking EVERYTHING I had for granted…

And Sammy… I know it wasn’t your heart’s intent… but when you wrote that letter to Christina, you did the same thing… not directly, not intentionally… and I’m damn sure not saying that to invalidate your feelings because you DID have a valid reason to feel the way you did… you took your whole career for granted. You weren’t seeing the big picture. Hard times happen, Sammy, but they shouldn’t break you. I know that when you expressed those feelings, you weren’t thinking of yourself as the wrestler that won the Roulette title 4 times and that ended Mikah’s dominance… you were thinking of yourself as the wrestler that lost her title to Candy and got pinned by her twice. Your biggest weakness as a professional wrestler is the same one that I once had: a lack of trust in oneself. For years, I wallowed in misery, feeling like a victim, because I didn’t love myself enough… because I didn’t trust myself enough… I’d always have mood swings of being high one night, feeling like I’m on top of the world, then feeling like a worthless piece of shit and wanting to retire the next night. You’ve done that recently, Sam. You came back, you racked up a few wins, and that confident, bubbly Sam Marlowe was back and it was a joy to see. You were riding a high wave and hell, I was happy for you because of what you had been through earlier in the year.

...and then Maki happened…

You face her, she beats you, you’re back to square one and seemingly all of that progress that you had made since coming back doesn’t seem to mean anything anymore. Your emotions swung from feeling like yourself again, to feeling like you were worthless and needed to retire… and all it took was ONE MATCH, ONE LOSS for you to feel that way and for you to be driven to write apology letters to your opponents. And that, Sam? That hurts me to see because you and I both know that you’re better than that. I TOTALLY get the idea of staying motivated and not being complacent and continuing to push yourself, but at the same time, you’re telling Maki a few weeks back that you have to beat her. You’re talking about how you have a strong desire to prove yourself. That one line right there… that right there tells the world that Sam Marlowe hasn’t proven herself… when she HAS! Look at your resume! Reflect on everything that you’ve done in this company! You HAVE proven yourself… and it’s not even close! Someone that has done as much as she has still feels like she needs to prove herself… to WHOM? Not to me! Not to many people in this locker room. I understand, Sammy… you need to prove yourself… to yourself… for all that you’ve done, you’re still stuck in a mindset that may go back to childhood of feeling like you’re not good enough for someone. For all that you’ve done, you’ve yet to learn how to fully trust and love yourself because if you DID fully trust and love yourself as a wrestler and as a person… you wouldn’t be feeling the need to prove yourself at all! You’d be going into this match, and any other match, with an ‘I’ve got this’ attitude… with the attitude of ‘I’m Sam fucking Marlowe and there ain’t an opponent, a match or a loss that’s going to tell me otherwise’.

If you really trusted and loved yourself enough… you wouldn’t be talking about your sister in just about every single promo. With that match against Maki, you’re talking about how you want to prove to your sister that you aren’t the choke artist she says you are. Why do you need to prove that to her? Why do you have to focus on her saying that you’re a choke artist and proving that wrong when time and time again, you’ve proven that you’re not? I even caught your vlog when you were going up against Daniela Rodgers and there you go again with your sister… mentioning that you were on a losing streak and mentioning that your sister would be saying that you should be contemplating retirement over a losing streak. I know that you entered this company and became part of this business to step out of her shadow… and from someone that’s the daughter of a wrestler in her own right I TOTALLY relate to that… and you’ve DONE that… you’re not only out of her shadow, but honey, you’re so far away from that shadow you’ve almost walked around the world on your own two feet from it. I get that she’s your sister and all, but WHY is she even RELEVANT? Why is it that her words… her thoughts… why do they matter? Why do you worry about what she thinks?

Right, it’s the lack of trust in oneself. If you did trust yourself and love yourself better, you wouldn’t even think about your sister anymore. You wouldn’t be talking about wanting to prove that you deserve to be here in SCW… when you already have, in spades. You wouldn’t be talking about wanting to prove yourself to naysayers. And as someone that has been down the road that you’re on right now and knowing how that all feels… I’m really torn with how I want to treat you right now. There’s part of me that wants to give you a big, giant hug and do everything that I can for you to push you to be stronger and better… and there’s also a part of me that wants to beat the holy shit out of you… for the same purpose… to be stronger and better. It’s out of a place of love, either way… but unfortunately, when it comes to Violent Conduct, it’ll have to be the latter and trust me when I say that it’s a little hard for me to do so. I want to beat you and remain the Internet champion, but I don’t want to be a cause of you spiraling further into the dark then you already have. I can’t help that, I guess. I want you to look at my recent big wins, I want you to look at the opponents that I faced. I want you to hear about the attitude that I would’ve taken pre-SCW versus the attitude I actually took. I want you to hear the DIFFERENCE… and I hope to god when you hear this… you get it.

Into the Void. I could’ve gone into that match with Amber feeling like a victim and putting any desire for ‘revenge’ about Carnage Wrestling ahead of what really matters.

Old Myra would’ve said “I have to prove Carnage wrong by beating their world champion! I have to get my revenge! Without it, I’ll never get over it and I’ll never amount to anything in SCW.”

What I actually said? “It’s not about Carnage… it’s about going in there and giving it my best knowing that even if I lose… I’m still Myra… I’m still the wrestler that’s won 18 championships! It’s only my 3rd match in SCW… but win or lose… my future is bright because of this experience.”

Then there’s my match against Alicia…

Old Myra would’ve said “It’s Alicia… I HAVE to prove myself… but nobody thinks I can win! Nobody has faith in me! I have to go in there and prove everyone wrong! If I don’t… then they’ll be proven right and I really will be out of touch…”

What I actually said? “Alicia is going to be one hell of an opponent, but I’m going to focus on giving it everything I have! I know I can hang with her no matter the outcome and I’m going to make sure I give an inspiring performance!”

My title challenge with Kate…

Old Myra would’ve treated the match just like Kate did… with wanting to put her down, with wanting to ‘bury her’, with taking everything Kate said to me so personally and losing focus on what matters.

What actually happened was that I was calm, cool, collective and I focused on the task at hand while Kate was high strung and worrying about this, worrying about that, beating herself up… being TOO focused and driven on other things and breaking records and such… and that’s why I won.

My title defense against Kate…

Old Myra? “It’s not FAIR! Why do I have to defend my title so soon? UGH! Now I HAVE to win or else I’m just a fluke that got lucky ONE time in ONE last moment of glory”

Me, now? “Alright. Let’s do this! I know I can beat her again… even if she has learned her lesson. Even if she wins, I still proved that I can be a force in this company.”

Kate, of course, was still high strung.

Do you get it now, Sammy? Do you see how attitude makes all the difference in the world? Do you understand how trusting and loving yourself and being secure with yourself in the face of adversity and taking the approach I have taken to every single one of those wins suddenly turns you from the wrestler that’s on a six match losing streak to a wrestler that’s winning six in a row? I’ve just illustrated why I’m going to win at Violent Conduct…

I’m going to win because I trust myself and believe in myself more than you do with yourself. I’m going to remain the SCW Bombshells Internet Champion because after so many years in this business, I’m finally in the prime of my career. You on the other hand… worrying for months and months about being past your prime… you’ve never even REACHED your prime. The fact of the matter is, Sammy… in this business… prime means so much more than collecting championships… prime is doing what you love in that ring, being so damn good at it, and getting to the point where you KNOW that NOBODY can EVER define you and that no matter how hard others try to bring you down, that they’re already wrong and that you don’t NEED to prove them wrong! Being a wrestler in her prime is being successful in both aspects of the game: winning the big matches and being a champion and shining in the spotlight… and mastering the psychological aspect of the business… in finding that zen that prevents you from EVER falling back into the darkness!

You’re not there yet psychologically, Sammy.

You will be!

At Violent Conduct, I’m going to do everything to push you to be there psychologically and for you to understand what it means to be a true wrestler in this business and to understand what it means to trust yourself in that ring.

I’ve escaped the shadows that plagued me for so long, Sammy. Sunday? I’m going to help you do the same by beating you and shining that light bulb in your head that makes you go “I get it now… I get what I need to be in this business”...

Best of luck to you, Sam Marlowe.

The lesson you’re about to learn is going to be harsh and it’s going to be painful… but I promise you… you’re going to be so much better for it!

At this point, having said all I needed to say, I shut off the camera feeling not just confident in my chances to retain the Internet Championship at Violent Conduct, but also confident in my ability to teach Sam Marlowe exactly the lesson she needs to escape the shadows that have plagued her for her entire career.

Prologue:

Jack was now more focused than ever as the time drew near. He only had days to wait until he got another chance to be SCW world champion. He was brimming with confidence, something he was never short on, but as the time drew closer, he was extremely confident, but also extremely focused. He trained daily, watched the matches of Alex Jones, knowing about his previous injuries. Jack made sure to note them and it was now a possible strategy he would use in the upcoming title match. Jack took no chances, only appearing at the Saxon hotel because he really had no other place to go. The Grand Flamingo didn’t have any bed, so he simply continued to use the hotel’s. Maybe that would be the next step after the match, and after other things were in place, a room at the casino. A place that he could finally call his own, right before he was about to wrestle one of the biggest matches in his short career, about to headline a supercard. Jack was a bundle of nerves, but as he studied, and as he trained, he focused himself. He needed to make sure he did not slip up and leave any stone unturned in preparation for this match. There would be no let downs this time. All Jack had to do was think of the last time he was in the ring wrestling for the SCW championship to remind himself how not being prepared led to the most devastating loss of his career, which were few and far between. Jack knew he had the natural ability, but clearly needed to remember that he couldn’t take this match lightly. He would lay all the cards on the table on Sunday.

Outside the ring, Jack now looked to secure a deal with Benny, as they both had something the other wanted. Jack having the property, and Benny at least a small group that knew what they were doing and could help get the casino off the ground. Benny hadn’t taken the deal yet, and both parties were still very skeptical of each other possibly attempting to put the other out of business. Benny was surprised by the offer, but wanted to put his stamp on the casino instead of working under Jack. Benny knew that without experience Jack was in over his head, but Benny was going to stay small time if he didn’t take the offer.

What Benny still doesn’t know is the deal Jack has with the Mexicans. It would be tricky waters to navigate, but Jack knew enough that keeping it from Benny was the best idea as he needed him on board. Jack would have to think of a way to entice Benny to come with him, and keep the Mexicans happy, as he really didn’t want an internal war combined with an external one as well. Jack had a lot of work still yet to do, but he felt confident in this, just as much as he felt in his chances at being the world champion. And being the world champion could have more perks outside the ring, which only made Jack want it more.

But that would all hinge on Benny, and getting everything in place. It was the start of something special, but that’s all it was.

A start.

--
The Grand Flamingo Plaza
Las Vegas, NV

Jack stood looking out again at the mostly empty casino floor. He had grand visions of what it could look like and how it would be amazing to see it all done up in lights and looking all fancy. He knew it would take off and be a success. This, for him, was the ultimate goal outside of being the world champion. To be part of something like that, that could stand on its own and be an accomplishment for Jack was a thrilling thing. He very much wanted to make it happen. But, unlike the majority of his life philosophy, he would need to trust people to get things done.

Jack turned around and at his desk was Bobby and one of Bobby’s friends.

Bobby: I think we almost got it.

Jack: Good.

Brian: You know, I’m all about this advertising stuff, but what the hell is gonna mean if we don’t have the manpower?

Jack: Well, that’s why we’re advertising online.

Brian: And you think people will come here?

Jack: A lot of people will. People aren’t working man.  They need work, and we can provide to them.

Brian: But you need the right people. Not just anybody.

Jack: I know that. That’s why when we put job offerings on this website we’ll be able to filter out who we want to look at. It’s a process man, a process.

Brian: Yeah, you better hope so.

Jack: I got this, man. I got this.

Brian retrieves his glass and pours himself a shot.

Brian: Any word from Benny?

Jack: He’s thinking it over, last I heard.

Jack’s office phone rings and Jack quickly picks it up.

Jack: Grand Flamingo, Jack speaking…. Uh huh? Good, very good. I’ll meet you down there….

Jack hangs up the phone with a satisfied look on his face.

Brian: What was that all about?

Jack: We’ve got toys coming.

Brian downs his drink and he and Jack head down to see the delivery of 100 slot machines. Brian signs for them and then are put on the main floor, all of them covered and unplugged. The invoice is collected and Jack and Brian eventually head back upstairs to the room.

Jack: That’s a step.

Brian: A good one, but they ain’t gonna make no money with no people in here.

Jack: You know we’re not ready to open. We just got the slot machines.  There’s a lot more to do.

Brian: But can you do it?
Jack stares at Brian intently. This was clearly a challenge, and one that Jack was more than determined to answer.

Jack: Look man, I know this is a lot to undertake. I do, but at the end of the day, it’s gonna happen. Every step we take means something. I’ll admit, I don’t know shit about running a casino, but you know what, I can learn. You can learn, we all can learn. That’s what this has to be, a start, a learning experience. And I am confident we can do this.

Brian: Confidence is something. But not a lot.

Jack: We all start small man, and when we work on things and get them right, we’ll have more success then we dreamed ever.

Brian: Sure thing, Stick. You tell Benny about the Mexicans?

Jack: No.

Brian: Don’t you think he ought to know?

Jack: At some point, yes. But I have to think that’s a deal breaker. There’s no way he’s going to agree if he knows, and quite frankly, we need him.’

Brain holds up a finger to stop Jack.

Brian: We need his connections. That’s about it. We can’t let him have too much power.

Jack: Listen, Benny’s not stupid, he didn’t take the deal right away, and really, the less he knows, the better for now.

Brian arches a brow.

Brian: That’s a dangerous game.

Jack: It’s the only way to play it at the moment. If we signs on, then we can worry about it.

Brian: And what about the other guy?

Jack: Sonny?

Brian: Sure, I don’t know these people.

Jack: Sonny is a non-factor, but being at war with the Mexicans at this point makes him the enemy. If they can keep him distracted, it’ll save us a lot of trouble.

Brian’s look of trepidation turns into a sly grin.

Brian: Look at you, using people to get your own goals accomplished.

Jack: I hate it too.

Brian: I’m proud of you, Stick.

Jack: Don’t.

Bobby: Alright, the website is finished you guys.

Jack and Brian view the site and are impressed by it.

Jack: Good. Now, all we have to do is wait.

Bobby looks at the guy who designed the whole thing.

Bobby: Good work, bro.

Jack: What’s your name, Evan?

Evan: Yeah. Look, am I getting paid for this?

Jack: If it works out, you’ll get even more. You got the ability to maintain this website?

Evan: Yes. It’s all set up to work to your favor. And, I can also work on a security system for you.

Jack: Good deal, how much is that gonna cost me?

Evan: A big place like this? A few grand.

Brian scoffs, but Jack nods.

Jack: If it’s worth it, You can be my guy for that too.

Evan: Hey, if you’re buying, I’m flying.

Jack: Fair enough, we’ll work out more details as we move along.

Evan: It’ll be a commission. I can get a guy out here in a few days.

Jack: Good. You get on that. It’ll pay more than it’s worth, trust me.

Brian: Stick, let me talk to you.

Jack pats both Bobby and Evan on the shoulder as he and Brian go off to speak privately, a safe distance away.

Brian: You thought about what happens if the feds show up?

Jack: We don’t have anything illegal just yet.

Brian: But you will.

Jack: It’s not something I want to do, man. But what choice do I have? The Mexicans can make life miserable for me, and for everybody on this little project if we don’t at least start to play ball with them.

Brian: And then what? The money may be good, but at the end of the day, all this shit goes away if you’re involved with it.

Jack: That’s where Benny comes in.

Brian stares at Jack, knowing exactly what he meant.

Brian: Don’t tell me you’re going to put him name on this place?

Jack: Look, if Benny takes the fall, that’s our out. I can distance myself from this place, because I bought it, but I don’t know what goes on all over the place here. I have a fallback, it is one thing my dad didn’t have. An escape plan. If the feds come nosing around here, Benny’s name is up for the hit, not mine. In fact, the only thing I’m really going to do, is endorse this place.

Brian: Endorse?

Jack: When I win the championship, I’m the hometown champion man. Picture it, a whole ribbon cutting ceremony, endorsed by the Sin City Wrestling world champion. It’ll work.

Brian: It had better. You can just as easily go down as an accomplice.

Jack: That’s why I called it a learning experience.

Brian: Okay.

Brian is satisfied for now, and Jack heads back to look out over the floor, until there is a knock at the door. Benny pushes his way in through them, eyeing everyone in room. His bodyguards flanking him on ether side.

Jack: Well Benny, if you came here for a shootout, don’t waste any more time.

Benny stared at Jack, and then at Brian.

Benny: Brian.

Brian: Benny.

Benny waved his guards off.

Jack: I hope you thought about our little arrangement. Though, if you came to tell me no in person, I’d respect you even more.

Benny: Stop breaking my balls kid. I came to talk business.

Jack: So talk.

Benny cleared his throat. He stood in silence for a few moments before he finally spoke up.

Benny: I need to see what you’ve got. And if I like it…. I’m in.

Jack: Fair enough. Have a seat and we’ll get to business.

Benny: You got another one of them cigars?

Brian: Fucking hell, stick, you gave him one of my cigars?

Jack: All part of the negotiations, man.]

Jack motions for Evan and Bobby to vacate the room and the desk. Jack sits down at the desk, allowing Benny to sit in front of him.

Jack; Let’s talk business, Benny.

Benny takes a seat.

Benny: Alright kid, I’m listening.

Jack: Let me tell you about this place, and how it’s the start of something special.

--



Click

Jack has moved the camera to give us a nice view of his balcony with the sunset heading over Vegas. Jack sits in his room chair, feet kicked up on the balcony, enjoying the view.

Jack: It’s beautiful isn’t it? Almost as beautiful as the job I’m doing on Alex Jones.

It is amazing how bad Alex is doing at this. It shocks me how bad this guy is at literally everything, and has still been a champion. I swear to you, that Griffin Hawkins had to have like an off night to lose to Alex Jones. I’m going to blame him for what we’ve got now for a champion. Like, you couldn’t have had a bad day somewhere else? You had to give this to Alex Jones. Now this dude is walking around with a title he has no business carrying anymore and thinking he has a legitimate chance to not get his ass whipped at Violent Conduct. But, I got the job to do, so therefore, I’m going to do it.

Jack eases himself out of his chair, pushing it aside, an almost confused look on his face.

Jack: I get the feeling that you don’t like me much, Alex.

I don’t know, I just get this vibe from you and I just start thinking like, I don’t think this dude likes me one bit. I think he thinks I’m just some dude you don’t care about me. And you know what? The feeling is mutual. I’m going to keep it real, because that’s what I do, I never heard your name until you won that championship. I never bothered to look up who you were, and what you’ve accomplished. Thankfully you listed them all off last time and that’s all well and good, but the truth is, I lost interest after like the first few words. I said it before, I’ll say it again... you’re boring. You’re white bread. You just couldn’t hold my attention last time, and I just started to like play on my phone, I had you on in the background like ambient noise. It took me like 3 tries, but I finally got through the whiny bullshit.

Now, on the other hand, I KNOW you were listening to me.

Why? Because I’m actually entertaining and charismatic. Shit you wish you were. I don’t need a lame gimmick or nickname, I’m just Jack, because that’s all I need to be. Even your man Austin Mercer knew it when he complimented me way back in the day. But I also figure you were listening because I ran you down like nobody’s ever done to you in your life, Alex. I just laid all the cards on the table and you come up with the short end my guy. You may be thinking about how I’m some punk and you’re going to teach me respect, and blah, blah, blah… all because I talked shit about you? Bro, that’s the name of this game. It’s not my fault that all you can talk about is how you’ve done this, or you’ve done that. Because you need to make it look convincing that you think you’re going to win. But you know deep down in your soul that you aren’t, and you are simply going to be my biggest stepping stone to date.

And it burns you even more that there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.

The best you can do, is call me an asshole.

Jack shrugs, not really bothered by the comment.

Jack: To which, I say… yeah, you’re right. I am an asshole. I will tell you the truth, whether you like it or not. I don’t go around and bullshit people. I tell them what I think and tough shit if you can’t handle it. Sorry, I don’t have time to sugarcoat the shit sandwich the world is. I don’t have time to tell you that everything is going to be okay and I really respect you and this is all a front. Because that would make me a liar. You’re just mad that I’m a better asshole than you can be. I mean, you have the nerve, the fucking nerve the bitch at me, about being an asshole, and say I can’t be a leader because no one likes me and that that somehow disqualifies me from being world championship material.

And less than 5 minutes before that, rambled on about how this is dog eat dog and you gotta look out for number one and you will stab everyone you care about in the back. I swear Alex, if you were a little smarter, you’d realize how stupid you sound.

It’s incredible obvious it’s you who is desperate for something to latch onto. You want to pick out flaws in me. Go ahead, I got plenty, I ain’t perfect, never claimed to be like some people I could mention. I’m no saint, not by a long shot. I’ve rough, I’m dirty, I’m fucking grimy. I never learned how to be a phony motherfucker like you. I was always taught about loyalty and being a stand up man. That’s why people relate to me, more than you. I know I need to look out for number one. But I’m also a coward who can’t lead people, okay dude, clearly you are really in your feelings and desperate to find an edge.

I’m sorry, that I’m ahead of the curve on that. It’s because of nut sacks like you I don’t actually trust any wrestlers. Because they will do exactly what you said you would. Why in the fuck would anyone follow you anywhere? If I were your students, I’d try to get my money back after hearing that. I mean, you heard it straight from the man’s mouth, he’d sell you out in a heartbeat if it meant he got something. Is that the kind of man you want being the face of anything? The man who literally told you he’s going to be two-faced and greedy?

Jack just shakes his head, confused but then points to himself.

Jack: At least, when I do it, I don’t have to stab anyone in the back. I will stab them in the front, straight in their fucking heart. Just like I did you last time. And I know you’ve been pacing back and forth kicking shit in your run-down apartment or whatever, big mad because I dared to insult you. Because I disrespected you. And you know what? GOOD. Maybe you will actually have some fire in your eyes at Violent Conduct so that it’s not a complete waste of everyone’s time to see me climb to the top. I’m glad you’ve been mad. And I know you’re not going to try and play it off like you weren’t in your feelings. I didn’t see any sweet edgelord tweets. I didn’t see you change your twitter handle. Alex Jones was a fucking ghost on social media wasn’t he? Yeah, you’ve been thinking long and hard about what you’re going to do to me at Violent Conduct and how you want to not only beat me, but fucking hurt me. Yeah, yeah man, I can fucking feel that shit from here.

And it’s the most interesting you’ve been your whole life.

I HOPE it’s the most insulted you’ve even been Alex. I’m just happy that somebody finally told you what you needed to hear. If it came from me, then so be it.

Jack regains the intense look we’ve come to see over and over.

Jack: Let’s just drive this point home Alex, you don’t impress me. Not in the slightest. I couldn’t care less about how you beat this guy or that guy, or you main evented this show or you won this title from this place or that place.  I don’t give a fuck who you trained either. I don’t give a fuck who likes you or thinks your cool or some kind of legend. None of that shit matters to me. You are nothing more than a name across from mine as this point. You just happen to have the championship.

All that matters is that championship you have, right now. And to take it from you, I will beat your ass in front of your students. I will beat your ass in front of your fans. I will beat your ass in front of your family. I will beat your ass in front of your ugly ass wife. I will beat your ass in front of your snot-nosed kid. And then you can look him in the eye and tell him “daddy failed.”

It doesn’t matter how I do it, or who I have to insult or threaten, Alex. I will cross any line to get what I want. I will step on any toes. The only difference is, I’m not going to be buddy-buddy with people before I do it.

I will tell you the same thing I told Ben Jordan, I will do anything I have to in order to win. If I have to bite you, scratch you, put my feet on the ropes, hit you with a chair or the damn title belt. If I have to kick you in your baby nuts, I will do it. The only thing that matters, is that I win. You said it yourself, this is cut throat, dog eat dog. So don’t be shocked, don’t be surprised, and don’t make excuses, Alex.  You know what it is, my guy. You should know all about this. By hook, or by crook, don’t matter to me. I will take any edge I can get. I will take advantage of any situation. I will say anything I have to, to get you off your game. And you know I’ve already done that part. I’m in your head Alex. I live there now. And I will be there for a long, long time. Can you imagine how much bragging I’m going to do after saying everything I’ve said and then I win?

Damn, it’s going to suck to be you.

Jack shrugs, and folds his arms.

Jack: But you’re too cool for that, right? Do you know how cool Alex Jones is everybody? He’s won championships all over the place. Do you know cool Alex Jones is? I actually had to look this up, because it’s real. He was mentioning companies he’s wrestled for, so I took the time to see all these wins, and yes, his accomplishments hold up. It’s amazing. But… I couldn’t find anything from this “IWF” company. So, I’m not sure is he’s making it up or not. Are we padding stats Alex? Does this place exist or not? Are you just trying to tell everyone you won all these titles when you really didn’t? Is that what we’re doing these days?

I mean, it fits the bill at this point. A total fraud who has had to make up personas for himself and pretend to be someone far more interesting than he is.

But I think I understand the strategy here. You just want to pretend that you’ve really won something here. You have to feel like the winner. You have to feel important. It’s all over everything you say. I’ve trained this guy, I’ve trained that guy, I’ve won this title, I’ve won that title. It’s about making yourself seem far more important. You really want that recognition so bad, because you have literally nothing else to fall back on. You are such a blank slate as a person, that this is all you can cover that with. You are so void of anything resembling a personality that’s not phony as fuck, that you just have to list accomplishments. So, because I don’t have those accomplishments, you are better than me, right?

Jack scoffs.

Jack: It’s amazing how desperate you are for those 15 minutes of fame where everyone tells you you’re great.

Your name isn’t mentioned with the greatest people in this business, and that pisses you off. Your name isn’t put into top 10’s or top 5’s or whatever, and you’re in your feelings about it. But I can tell you why that is. Yeah, it’s pretty easy to figure out, my dude. When people think of you, they don’t think of your accomplishments, they think of the dude who won’t shut the fuck up about himself.

You’re that dude. That dude that when people say “don’t be that dude.” That’s you they’re talking about. You just scream “fucking awful” and “Attention seeker” I mean, who was thinking about Alex Jones before he won the SCW championship? Who was talking about Alex Jones before that? Nobody. Not a soul. But, I get it man, when opportunity knocks, you gotta be there. And low and behold, you rose from near obscurity and won the world title. And rather than I don’t know, be thankful you got plucked out of nowhere to get a title match, it’s time to endlessly boast about how great you are. But let me chastise this guy for this, or let me get in somebody’s ear to talk about that guy. Because you, have to make yourself feel better about the blank slate you are.

And you know, it took you literally 5 minutes to get comfortable with that championship. Now you’re god, you’re better than everyone and two months ago you were probably going to retire or some shit. You have an unreal ability to change everything about yourself on a dime. I mean, it must be really easy for you to change who you are when you have nothing permanent in your whole life. Nothing, absolutely nothing about you is real aside from your accomplishments. You have used fake names, fake companies, and real people, to get yourself the recognition, and then whine and cry like a bitch when you aren’t given as much as you expect, and at the same time, tell me, and everyone else, it’s because you care. It’s because you’ve done so much. “Please give me credit. Please.” This isn’t a fucking school exam, you know. You can’t keep asking for extra credit all the fucking time. “Look, I did this, give me partial credit, boost my score!”

Jack simply shakes his head, like a disappointed parent

Jack: You are a sad, pathetic excuse for a man, my guy. It is why it will be such a pleasure to take that SCW world championship off of you. I went into this, knowing very little about you, and the more I learned, the less I wanted to know. I felt dumber for trying to even look up anything about you. It made my faith in humanity drop to a pretty low point, to know that a fucking snake like you has done anything in the ring and is looked at as someone who’s anything but a snake. You are a joke, bruh. A fucking joke. And it this point, it’s sad. It’s almost cruel to even let you walk around with that championship, just so you can delude yourself into thinking you’re hot shit again. We’ve done this shit ten times, right Alex? You win a championship, and then you lose it, and go like 6 months doing fuck all, but then you pop back up like fucking pimple, and you’re hot shit again. And it goes on and on like some sick joke. So, I guess, it’s up to me, to put this story to bed, for at least another 6 months, but with the way I’m feeling, it might be for fucking good.

At Violent Conduct, I’m going to beat you like a dog, Alex. I am going to embarrass you in the ring, and leave you laying as I win the championship. And while you’ve got that too cool thing going on, you better get serious because I am out to hurt you. You are entering the ring with a violent person, who is not afraid to snap arms, legs, or necks. You will simply go down as a transitional champion who just kept the title warm for the true star. And you know that’s the truth Alex. As much as you want to deny it and tell everyone you’re better than them and you’re a leader and all that happy horseshit, you know that at Violent Conduct, you are nothing but a speed bump for me.

This is my coronation as the face of the franchise, dude. You understand that, right? It’s a simple thing. You know how in sports when the aging player is on the team and the team drafts his replacement? That’s exactly what this is. You are a stop-gap. You plugged the hole until the team decided to put me in. Now that I’m in, we don’t need you anymore. You are expendable. You can be a cost cutting measure as we release you back into obscurity where you can find someone else looking for a stop-gap, or an “experienced” player. We don’t need that here anymore. This is MY time. I don’t give a shit about how you don’t think I can lead or be a great champion or whatever. All that is to me, is a bitter man who usefulness has expired. There’s a reason they put me on the field, and there’s a reason I’m going to take you off.

Jack finally stares into the camera, his eyes piercing the screen.

Jack: Get it through your head Alex: you’re done. Time’s up. I told you that you only had two weeks left, and every day, we inch closer and closer to me beating the shit out of you, taking the SCW championship for myself, doing it by myself, and having it, for myself.

You’re hiding behind this false confidence and experience. You want to believe that you’ve seen someone like me before. That you’ve seen people like me come and go, right? I’m a dime a dozen, flavor of the month, or whatever the old saying is. But you know as well and I do that you don’t know me. You know me well enough to know that you don’t know me at all. I am unlike anyone or anything you’ve come across in wrestling. I’ve had you eating out of the palm of my hand, while you still think I’m eating out of yours. You’ve got your bird chest puffed out like you’ve done something while I’ve made you believe I’m charging into this match with my head down. But my head is up, my dude. I’ve waited for this opportunity like no other, and you, you have taken the bait hook, line & sinker. You chomp at every little bit, you are mind fucked and you don’t even know it. I have had you on strings the entire time because I have allowed you to think that you are where you were 10 years ago, but you’re not. Leaving my team high and dry? All these comments, they’ve all made you dance like a puppet.  You will be kicking yourself when you realize just how badly you fucked up.


But I won’t need any tricks or mind games at Violent Conduct. Not at all. All I need, is what I have here. Me, myself, and I. And you can walk away after this match, with your hurt pride, licking your wounds and wondering what the fuck happened. But I’ll give you a spoiler: I happened. You will not have to look far to know who did this to you. You will not have to search far and wide to see the man who took you apart physically, mentally & verbally. All of this, was one man, and that’s me.
 
And please, save yourself the fucking time and don’t congratulate me when it’s over. Don’t tell me that now you respect me after I whoop your ass. Just don’t. Stay fucking silent, and walk away from this L and move on to something else. Or bitch about how I cheated or I’m not a real champion, whatever you prefer. You don’t have to listen to me on advice, even though you should. I’d just prefer it if you just talked even more trash and pissed and moaned about life, rather than pull a 180 and blow smoke up my ass. The fact is you never were ready for this smoke, because I ain’t Griffin Hawkins, I don’t prance around and flip my fair around, son. My name, is Jack Washington. If you’ve been paying attention, I’ve been beating people’s asses in this company for 7 months, and you’re name just happens to be next on the lineup, Alex.

I said it before, and I will say it here one more time. I was close last time. And this time, I will get the job done.

Get used to this face, Sin City Wrestling. You are looking at the next World Heavyweight Champion!

Jack makes sure the camera is focused on his eyes as we cut to black.

Click.

Off-Camera

Saturday September 12, 2020
Den Area
Apartment of Christina and Seleana Zdunich
Las Vegas, Nevada
9:37 AM  PDT



Home.

It is supposed to be a sanctuary from everything the outside world can throw at you. A refuge from the actions and cruelties of the universe. Nothing is ever supposed to be able to touch you there…

For Seleana Zdunich, that word had been very transitory. Since coming to the United States, she had first stayed with her middle sister, Zenna, in the house Zenna shared with Kelly Taylor, Linnéa and Alissa Lacroix in New Orleans, Louisiana. She had also spent some time in their Manhattan penthouse where third sister Katra had spent most of her time before also moving to New Orleans. 

From there, Seleana had moved to the Hollywood Hills area of Los Angeles, California to live with her girlfriend and soon to be wife, Crystal Hilton. They have since added Las Vegas as a part-time home as well, adding an apartment in 2019 to allow Crystal to work at the Golden Ring Casino.

2020 had seen another new place to call home as the COVID-19 pandemic had caused SCW/SCU to ask their talents to move into the Saxon Hotel and the ap[artment had become home to two other people that had been looking for a helping hand in Angelica and Aurora Martinez. Seleana had known when Crystal had invited them to live there that Aurora, a small ten-year-old girl that Crystal had taken to mentoring, had cancer.

What none of them had known at the time was that Aurora’s mother, Angelica, was also deathly ill and receiving no care for her own illness whatsoever.

Despite SCW/SCU’s release on the order for all talents and staff to reside inside the Saxon Hotel, Seleana and Crystal had not returned to their apartment. Rather, they had allowed Angelica and Aurora to continue to call the place home for themselves moving forward knowing that the end would come sooner rather than later for poor Angelica and when it did, Aurora would be taken in and adopted by Seleana and Crystal.

Now, two days after watching things fall apart both professionally and personally in WWR, and Crystal be turned on in public by a host of people outside the family and their usual social and professional circles leading to Crystal being let go by at least two other employers, Seleana was back in Las Vegas for Climax Control to find out who she would be facing at Violent Conduct for her defense of the SCW Bombshells Roulette Championship.

More importantly, she was also here to spend time with little ten-year-old Aurora. As the two sit playing Mario Kart, Aurora giggles, watching Seleana crash her car.

Aurora Martinez: You’re not very good at this, are you?

Seleana shrugs.

Seleana Zdunich: I have not played much.

Aurora giggles some more.

Aurora Martinez: With the Blossoming Rose and Brittany Williams in the house?

Seleana shrugs again.

Seleana Zdunich: They are usually too keen to play each other and compete for who is best. HayJo and I end up watching more than we play.

Aurora nods as the race ends.

Aurora Martinez: I can tell. You look like you’ve never driven in this game before!

Seleana giggles right back. She holds up her right hand, her thumb and forefinger barely showing any space between them.

Seleana Zdunich: Un poquito...pero…   

Shaking her head she nods to the screen.

Seleana Zdunich: Det finns ingen ko på isen, jag kommer inte ge upp.

Aurora stares at Seleana, a look of intense awe on her face.

Aurora Martinez: What does that mean? 

Seleana smiles.

Seleana Zdunich: It means, “Don’t worry, I’m keen to continue.”

Aurora’s smile beams across the room.

Aurora Martinez: Awesome!

They quickly set to playing again, Aurora easily besting Seleana at every turn. As they play a fourth and then a fifth time, Aurora looks over at Seleana, curiosity covering her young face.

Aurora Martinez: How come you came alone today?

Seleana sighs.

Seleana Zdunich: Christina has had a bad few days. She was angry with me after the WWR show and yesterday went even worse for her than the previous day did.

Aurora barely blinks.

Aurora Martinez: Why was she angry with you?

Seleana sighs again.

Seleana Zdunich: I made a mistake and it cost her a match.

Aurora just looks back at Seleana, a matter-of-fact look on the young girl’s face.

Aurora Martinez: And you didn’t say sorry?

Seleana shakes her head.

Seleana Zdunich: I have not had the chance to. I did not see her yesterday after her troubles.

Aurora’s eyes narrow, the confusion building.

Aurora Martinez: Weren’t you supposed to be on the same show yesterday too?

Seleana nods.

Seleana Zdunich: Ja, we were.

Confusion reigns on Aurora’s face.

Aurora Martinez: Why didn’t you see her then?

The confusion builds even more.

Seleana Zdunich: She was not allowed on the show. Something happened that made the person in charge send her home so she never came to the building for the show. Zenna and I could not follow her, we still had to wrestle. Brittany and HayJo did as well so they could not follow her either.

Concern mixes with the confusion.

Aurora Martinez: So she was alone?

Seleana nods sadly.

Seleana Zdunich: Ja… she was…

Aurora ponders this for a minute and then nods to Seleana emphatically.

Aurora Martinez: Where is she?

Seleana thinks for a second and then shrugs in response.

Seleana Zdunich: She is at the hotel we stay at here.

Aurora nods and takes the controller back from Seleana.

Aurora Martinez: That’s enough video games for you, young lady. You need to go see how your wife is doing and say sorry!

Seleana can’t help but smile at the tone of Aurora’s voice. It was both commanding and playful, simultaneously telling Seleana what to do but making sure she knew the young girl was trying not to be overly rude about it.

Seleana Zdunich: Ja, det är sanningen.

Aurora cocks her head, a smile crossing her face.

Aurora Martinez: What does that mean?

Seleana smiles, leaning over and kissing Aurora on the top of her head.

Seleana Zdunich: You’re right, I should do this.

Aurora smiles. She sets the controllers aside, and hugs Seleana.

Aurora Martinez: Go say sorry and make things good. I don’t like seeing you upset. I love you.

Seleana hugs her back.

Seleana Zdunich: Jag älskar dig också.

Aurora sits back on her knees and Seleana nods before she can even ask.

Seleana Zdunich: I love you too.

Aurora’s face brightens up and she clamps onto Seleana, Seleana hugging her back.




Off-Camera

Saturday September 12, 2020
Room 414
Saxon Hotel
Las Vegas, Nevada
10:41 AM  PDT



Seleana Zdunich stands out in the hallway, staring at the room that was still registered in both of their names. Her right hand reaches up and stops short of touching the door itself. She steps back and nods to herself.

Seleana Zdunich: Du kan göra det här.

She starts to move forward again only to stop. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, visibly nervous about the whole situation.

Seleana Zdunich: Det finns ingen ko på isen. Du kan göra det här.

She opens her eyes, staring through the door.

Seleana Zdunich: Gå in dit och ta hand om din fru.

She inhales deeply, nods to herself and walks up to the door. Her right hand raises and she knocks three times. Inside the room, the bed creaks as if someone has just stood up after having been sitting on it’s edge. Footfalls follow before the door unlocks and slowly opens. As the door stops, just barely open enough to let sound from inside the room exit, the voice of Seleana’s wife greets her ears with a tone that says Christina Rose Zdunich is still not in a good mood at all.

Christina Zdunich: What?

Seleana remains still as the door remains barely cracked open.

Christina Zdunich: WHAT?!!?

Seleana bites her bottom lip.

Seleana Zdunich: ¿Por favor abre la puerta?   

An audible sniff emanates from inside the room.

Christina Zdunich: Why would you want me to do that?

Seleana’s hand gently touches the door.

Seleana Zdunich: ¿Por favor? ¿Abre la puerta?

The pleading in Seleana’s voice causes Christina to start crying on the other side of the door.

Christina Zdunich: Why does everybody hate me so much?

Seleana’s hand moves to the edge of the door and grips it firmly.

Seleana Zdunich: Jag hatar dig men lämna mig inte…

Her grip on the edge of the door tightens as the crying on the other side of the door increases in intensity.

Seleana Zdunich:  Jag älskar dig! Jag är ledsen! Snälla lämna mig inte!

The door moves slightly.

Christina Zdunich: Wh…. what?

Seleana moves so she can look through the opening. Seeing the blue hair on the other side, Seleana nods slightly.

Seleana Zdunich: I love you, Estrellita!

Christina scrapes against the door before it opens suddenly all the way, pulling away from Seleana’s hand. Christina, tears in her eyes, looks her wife in the eyes.

Christina Zdunich: Why?

Seleana moves in and hugs Christina tightly, lovingly, pulling the blue-haired head against her chest.

Seleana Zdunich: I’m sorry, I fuck up in your match. I love you!

Christina clamps onto Seleana and starts to cry even more. Seleana strokes the back of her head and then kisses Christina’s forehead.

Seleana Zdunich: Everything will be alright, we will get through it together.

The door is allowed to close behind them as Christina continues to cry into her wife’s chest.

Christina Zdunich: I…

Seleana holds her tightly and nods slowly.

Seleana Zdunich: I know, it is alright.

Christina holds on tightly for what seems like years and then finally pulls back from Seleana.

Christina Zdunich: How did you know I’d be here?

Seleana smiles.

Seleana Zdunich: A little girl told me over Mario Kart.

Christina’s eyes almost bug out of her head.

Christina Zdunich: Aurora got… YOU… to play… anything?

Seleana nods slowly.

Seleana Zdunich: It was what she wanted to do. She laugh at how bad I am at it.

Christina laughs nervously.

Christina Zdunich: Were you really that bad?

Seleana giggles, nodding.

Seleana Zdunich: Ja, I avoid nothing. They get me every time.

Christina blinks and then wipes the tears from her eyes.

Christina Zdunich: So you were playing with Aurora and she told you to come here?

Seleana’s smile brightens.

Seleana Zdunich: She ask why I was alone. I told her you were angry with me and she asked why. I told her I made a mistake and she scolded me for not saying sorry.

Christina starts laughing along with her wife.

Christina Zdunich: She did?

Seleana nods happily.

Seleana Zdunich: I thought she was going to wag finger at me.

Christina looks down, shaking her head.

Christina Zdunich: I love that little girl.

Seleana nods in agreement.

Seleana Zdunich: Ja jag också.

Seleana puts her hand on either side of Christina’s face.

Seleana Zdunich:  Jag älskar dig så mycket. Jag vet inte vad jag skulle göra utan dig.

Christina bites her bottom lip.

Christina Zdunich: You really mean that?

Seleana nods and kisses Christina lovingly.

Seleana Zdunich: I do.

Christina smiles back at her wife.

Christina Zdunich: I love you too.




On-Camera

Friday September 25, 2020
Driveway
Home of Christina and Seleana Zdunich
Los Angeles, California
6:11 PM  PDT



The camera opens upon Seleana Zdunich standing so that nothing but the driveway is caught in the shot. Dressed in tight black bicycle shorts, a matching black sports bra, a pair of old Nikes and with her hair pulled back into a rough ponytail, Seleana has obviously just been through some sort of workout.

Seleana Zdunich: There is a phrase I have heard some in my family use. I had heard it only on television before I met them. But as I talked more with my sister, I learned that her fästmö uses it frequently but I was never so keen.

She pauses and nods to herself.

Seleana Zdunich: Until now.

Looking back up to the camera, Seleana stares forward into the lens.

Seleana Zdunich: This past fortnight has shown me what it really means and I think this Sunday qualifies as well. Johanna Krieger and I will have our come to Jesus moment with this match.

A slight nod comes from Seleana as she rubs her hands together with anticipation.

Seleana Zdunich: We both come into this match with something to prove, Johanna. You need to prove that all the haters are wrong about you. You need to prove that you are the baddest bitch to walk into this company and you are not to be fucked with. You need to prove that Alex Jones was not deep in his cups when he said you would do great things. You need to prove that Wolfslair is to be feared and respected in equal measures and that you are a very big reason for that and not just some clinger riding the others’ coattails for success. In short…

She nods before reaching down and picking up her championship belt to show the camera.

Seleana Zdunich: You need to beat me and win the SCW Bombshells Roulette Championship in the worst way. You need to win this to prove everything, that people that have disrespected you, that have downgraded you and dismissed you as nothing but a product of superior partners could not be more wrong.

She pauses and looks at her belt momentarily before looking back to the camera.

Seleana Zdunich: But you do not have to prove that to me.       

Seleana shakes her head quickly.

Seleana Zdunich: I know you are capable. I know you are a champion and you were the engine that drove that car with Wolfslair. You were a champion because you showed up and showed out and anyone who tries to say otherwise is either lying, ignorant or jealous that you accomplished things that have not or cannot themselves.

She nods angrily.

Seleana Zdunich: You are Johanna Krieger, the Agent of Mayhem, lover of all things chaotic and violent. You are where lesser wrestlers go to let their careers die. It says it right in your name, you are the warrior with the grace of God that fights like the devil is coming to take everything from you!

She pauses, her right hand coming up with the index finger extended.

Seleana Zdunich: You are exactly what I need to prove myself, Johanna.

The hand moves to allow the index finger to point to Seleana’s own chest.

Seleana Zdunich: Because just like you have so much to prove in this match, so do I!

She raises her championship belt to the sky.

Seleana Zdunich: I come in as the reigning SCW Bombshells Roulette Champion with multiple successful defenses under my belt. I am a former SCW Bombshells World Champion.

She lowers the championship down to shoulder height.

Seleana Zdunich: I have gone out, joined multiple other companies and won championships in several of them as well and yet I am still dismissed, degraded, downgraded and disrespected as if I have done nothing and I am still the unworthy rookie that walked into L.A.W. because my wife wanted to show off her Swedish trophy. The same people who dunk on you, do the same to me only with me they seem to take even more pride and enjoyment in saying my achievements mean nothing and why do they do this?

A glare comes across her face.

Seleana Zdunich: Because it scares them that I could be possible! I walked out to that ring and learned enough in two years’ time to go from being a zookeeper that was supposed to be too old to be a rookie to being the Bombshells World Champion and that is not supposed to happen, especially not with all of this other talent on hand.

She slaps the championship with her free hand.

Seleana Zdunich: We have seen people like Mercedes Vargas, Jessie Salco, and more all try to stop me from achieving things and every time they have tried, I have taken my knockdowns, I have learned and I have risen again!   

Pausing, she holds the belt out to the camera.

Seleana Zdunich: They have all had the chances to keep me from the top of the mountain, some more than others, where I have said, “Here is your prize, come take it!” and it is still here with me!

She nods, putting the championship belt across her shoulder.

Seleana Zdunich: And yet, no matter how many times they try to send me back to the zoo, no matter how many times they try to send me to a wheelchair or a home, I make sure they fail!

A smile comes over her face. 

Seleana Zdunich: And this is where you come in, Johanna. I am keen for this match like nothing I have been keen for since I fought Alicia Lukas for the World Championship! You are my chance to make all of that skit coming from their mouths go away! You are my chance to make all of them have to choke on their disrespect! Just like I am your chance for validation, you are mine! We walk that aisle together, Johanna, we spin the wheel, get our marching orders and we go to war for this!

She holds the championship aloft for the world to see again.

Seleana Zdunich: The SCW Bombshells Roulette Championship!

She slaps it in the air.

Seleana Zdunich: This will be our come to Jesus moment, Johanna! We will meet our fate and we will rewrite our reputations with how we fight and meet those fates! It is time for the warrior to meet the cat and see what mayhem we can make together!

The camera zooms in to frame her face as she lowers the championship.

Seleana Zdunich: Välkommen till djungeln… du kan checka ut när du vill, men du lämnar aldrig! 

Blog: Almighty Fire
semana del 13 al 20 de septiembre de 2 0 2 0

48 hours.

In 48 hours, it's Violent Conduct and yours truly, Mercedes Vargas, will grace this supercard once again. Is that a scowl on your face or are all of you just glad to see me? I know you're all glad to see me. I know you're all looking forward to me being there.

I hope you can say the same Pandora because ready or not, here I come. You can't run or hide. I'm going to find you and when I do, when I get my hands on you, it's over for you, mamita.

I think it's time we have a talk, a “come to Jesus moment”, an intervention, whatever you want to call it. Some things are better left unsaid, but you can bet I'm going to say it anyway. Maybe you're unawares. Unaware that you never pose a threat to me. It's going to take a lot more than a mean streak and some fetish with Gen-X 90s counter culture to stop this momentum.

You don't understand. YOU ALL UNDERSTAND! I mean don't understand! WAAAAAHHHH!!!!

Ah, shut up, you big baby!

I am everything that you're not, everything you claim to be, and everything you wish you could be.

I’ve been called many things in my career, some not so pleasant. But one thing I am not is a shrinking violet. Alicia knows. It’s why she gets angry all the time whenever my name is at the tip of her tongue. Christina knows. If every opponents she's ever faced, I'm the only one who lives rent free in her head. It didn’t matter if I underestimated her, she underestimated me and thought I was going to roll over, but I was more than happy to change her mind.

As far as Pandora goes. Talk about right place, right time You're under the bright lights and performing on wrestling's biggest stage. Things couldn't be more perfect. This leads me now to some good news and some bad news. Are you ready?

The good news is this is your first pay-per-view match in your return to Sin City Wrestling. The bad news is this is your first pay-per-view match in your return to Sin City Wrestling…and you’re not going to walk out of our match with a victory. Believe it or not, Sunday night gives me a lot of confidence that I will be walking out with with my hand raised.

But don't be fooled, I know what you can do, Pandora. I've seen what you can do, but when it comes to me and you, you've haven't done enough to change my opinion. Could you beat me this weekend, sure. You have the desire, the drive, the determination, but it'll take more than that. You're going to need a little luck and a whole lot of talent to keep up with me. I don't see your A-game. Matter of fact, I don't see your B or C game either helping you in this one. What I do see is you failing to make the grade, because if your first stint in SCW is anything to go by, I'm afraid thing aren't going to be much better the second time around.

Doesn't mean I'm going to be intimidated by you, Pandora. I don't know if you get it, I don't know if my words are going through one ear and out the other. You don't intimidate me. Nothing about you intimidates me. I have faced bigger, badder, and better sweetheart, and they could practically wipe the floor with you without so much as staining their lip gloss. I don’t care what you do, say, think, or otherwise. You will never turn me away from this company. You can try, but you will fail. You can talk about me all you want until you're blue in the face, I will still be here on the roster. The day after Violent Conduct, the best part of waking up isn't Folgers, it's me still being a part of the Bombshells Division. Come Sunday, don't expect anything out of the ordinary, I will show up for our match.

At this point, I'm really running out of material when it comes to you. I'm out of options here. If you're already patting yourself on the back right now, I would stop what you're doing. Your fate is sealed, and I'm going to knock you out so hard, you're going to find yourself on a way-trip back to the UK. It's one thing that you're truly out of touch with reality, it's another that you think you have any kind of chance of beating me. That you even signed a contract with SCW is a miracle in and of itself.

You're just not up to my caliber. It's not an assumption, it's not a maybe. It's a fact. And you can't argue with facts, honey. The fact that you'll never beat me. Not in this life or the next to come. And you want to know why that is? Because I'm Mercedes Vargas. I'm the Gatekeeper. I claim nothing, I prove everything. I don't care if Christian Underwood put this match together, I don't care if you asked for this match. Because in the end, you will end up on my checklist.

So am I worried about my match with Pandora?

The better question is should I be.


L O S A N G E L E S • C A L I F O R N I A

It's the weekend. You know what that means.

You know, this whole COVID thing, you can practically get out of anything. Weddings, birthdays, funerals, anything. What to do. Where to turn. How to cope. It never fails.

Oh for those halcyon days.

Mercedes, Ricardo, and Irma begins walking along the pathway. They stop suddenly and turns in the direction of two kids playing a game of tag. They run past them and they look on until the kids are out of sight.

Mercedes: How the script coming?

Ricardo: It's going great. And by great I mean I got nothing.

Irma: Writer's block again, huh?

Ricardo: I ended up tossing scenes that took me four hours to write, then rewriting entire scripts based on problems I should have spotted before I even started in the first place.
My wastebasket is overflowing and I can barely keep my eyes open.   

Irma: Maybe you need a muse.

Ricardo: My imaginary friends won't even talk to me.

Mercedes: Hey, I know we were going to meet for drinks on Sunday night, but I have to cancel on you. 

Irma: Oh, that sucks. What happened? 

Mercedes: Apparently some idiot in my wine club was infected with COVID, so now we all have to to quarantine.

Ricardo: Wine club? I don't even know there was here. 

Mercedes: You, that's a surprise. We get most of our recipes from that cookbook Martha Stewart wrote with Guy Fieri.

Irma: Seriously? I think I've actually read that. I love that book, just made the spinach empanadas last week.Every Christmas, my entire family gets together at my grandma's house and we all eat this huge meal with many courses. So naturally, the best thing to go with these many courses is many glasses of wine. Every Thanksgiving, my family always end up going through more wine bottles than soda, but it makes for the best laughs and memories.

Mercedes: All of my Thanksgivings this year are going to be socially distanced.

Ricardo: I feel bad for the poor chap who has to pass the gravy bowl.

Irma: Anyway, sad that we won't be able to hang out on Sunday night, Mercy. Maybe next week?

Mercedes checks her appointment calendar on her phone, that's it's free.

Mercedes: Yup, next week sounds good.

Ricardo: You know, this whole COVID thing, you can practically get out of anything.

Mercedes: Did I mention that I'm wrestling that night?


L O S A N G E L E S • C A L I F O R N I A

It's Not Whether You Win or Lose: Gatekeeper the Nineteenth: Mentiras, Malditas Mentiras (Lies, Damned Lies)..., Part IV: These Violent Delights Have Violent Ends: Dangerous by Design

[REC•]

The camera warms up on Mercedes outside standing in front of the Paul Smith wall, the famous big pink wall where people post photos and selfies.As it did, we’re treated to black-and-white footage. Mercedes wears low-rise jeans paired with her “Mercedes” Sin City Wrestling authentic t-shirt. She’s hidden behind a pair of black Oakley's.

"Some things are better left unsaid, but you can bet I'm going to say it anyway. I can't help being who I am."

Mercedes takes a deep breath, brushes away a few strands of her hair from her eyes.

"During the week leading up to a supercard is where things get a little interesting. This is our last chance to get those last words in while we can, so everyone is going to take advantage of that.

Anyway, much has happened since we last saw you, Pandora. We rung in the New Year, celebrated the life and achievements of Martin Luther King on his birthday. Groundhog Day and the Super Bowl have come and gone, we sent our cards to that special someone on Valentine's Day, honored presidents past and present on President's Day, and got festive for Mardi Gras. We've prepared for the first day of Lent on Ash Wednesday, said hello to Daylight Savings Time, remembered the fate of the Jews on Purim, wore green on St. Patrick's Day, welcomed the first signs of Spring.

Played our best pranks on April's Fools, ushered in Palm Sunday and Passover, filed away our taxes on Tax Day, and then reflected on Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Honored our mothers on Mother's Day, remembered our fallen in uniform on Memorial Day, devoted a day to our dads on Father's Day, and just could not wait for those lazy hazy crazy days of Summer. Celebrated another birthday for America on Independence Day, honored working people on Labor Day, and watched the leaves turned brown as Fall swept in.

There's also that whole Covid thing, too. Don't want to get into that. Too depressing.

You missed quite a lot over the last 18 months, and it's sad to say that no one even noticed you were gone. But here you are again, three weeks since your return and looking for another run in SCW. So far, you beat Apple Coren. I mean, that's great and all, but then who hasn't beaten poor Apple, right? But, hey, a win is a win, that's a feather in your cap.

Now, things get a little interesting. You and me, me and you, one-on-one. There's nothing at stake save for pride a x perhaps the opportunity of saying you stepped in the ring with the most accomplished talent on this roster. Last time we met, it was about getting a golden briefcase in a multi-man ladder. This year, we're fighting for so much more. We'll at least you are. Because either you're one step closer to one day challenging for the top prize in the Bombshells Division and hopefully unseat whoever walks out of champion, or you will be left behind in the title hunt.

"Thing is, I'm just not sure that if you happen to beat me and then go on to lose if we'll ever see you again. Pandora.

Where, oh where, have you been for the last 18 months? Were you expecting and you wanted to keep it a surprise from everyone, is that it? No, wait. Were you injured? Maybe you decided to take a trip around the world in eighty days? (Well, in this case, you would probably need to do that more than twice, but you get the idea) Where were you when SCW's women's division was main eventing on television and pay-per-view almost weekly? Where were you, Pandora, when all these new girls were coming in at a clip at a time? The Blast From the Past Tournament could have used a few more people. Where were you, Pandy? Because I knew where I was. For over seven years, I've been busting my ass in this company week in and week out, night in and night out, competing in that ring. Since my in-ring debut, I've wrestled in over 150 matches. Hold your applause. You've wrestled all of five matches in 18 months. Five!

With you, Pandora, another run in SCW is a great way to waste a roster spot. I hear what you're saying, I love the sales pitch, but I'm not buying what you're selling. It's too bad this company doesn't see it the same way, but sooner or later, they're going to regret it.

"SCW has changed dramatically since I first joined and now at my age, I no longer have time on my side. I'm a veteran now and the oldest active competitor within the women’s division.

I've also been all around the world, a veteran of many tours in Japan and Europe and Canada. I've been mostly successful everywhere I've gone, including here in Sin City Wrestling."

Mercedes suddenly becomes quiet as she reaches for her glasses and slowly pulls them off, folding them in her hands and then placed them next to her.

"No one should doubt that I will be ready for Violent Conduct given my track record. No one should think that I don't stand a chance in singles contests. No one should worry that I'm going to break a hip or worse against you Pandora because I'm just as capable of ending your career as you are coming for mine.

"This match isn't something that I need to do to prove to the rest of the division that I'm that damn good. I've won that argument. I already won at this pay-per-view before too on two occasions. If I were to win this match again, I'd be very surprised. But even if I don't, would it matter? My legacy is still intact, my title reigns and accolades aren't on paper, it's in the record books, and I'm on the damn cover. I highly doubt none of the other Bombshells are capable of taking my spot on the roster until I'm ready to give it up.

"And right now, this isn't Mercedes Vargas talking to Pandora Barrett, this is Mercedes Alicia Vargas Castaños de Ortega talking to Mellie Bennett."

A pause is met as she gathers her thoughts before raising her head again to finish her promo.

"You bring your black baseball bat, you bring your badassery, you bring your absolutely best, but it won't be enough against me. You see me as an afterthought, and that's fine. After Sunday, the only thought that's gonna cross your mind is 'what the hell just happened'?

"Go ahead and hold on to that false confidence and your unfounded arrogance. Go ahead and puff out your chest a little more and make all the bold declarations you want to. While you're at it, go ahead and mock my accolades.

Unless, of course, you prove me wrong. I hope you can back up your words, sweetheart. I hope you beat me. Better yet, that's your homework for tonight: Beat me. Please, beat me. Shut me up. Put me in my place. I dare you."

***Fade***