Cult Of the Wolf

Success as a concept is dependent on your own ideas and goals. Your idea of success may be completely different than someone else's. When you come to your last day on this earth and you are forced to look back on your life, will your own self worth and visions of success be your own? Or will they be poisoned and polluted with the ideals of someone else and their grand vision and plan for you?. When your life and happiness is measured against the possibilities of what you could have done or the responsibilities others had placed on you, which way will the scales tip? What favor will your family, faith or government ask of you?. And how much of yourself should you sacrifice to keep it all alive?. Life has a funny way of presenting paths and we as a hole have coping mechanisms in place.

Three years ago Alicia Lukas had been presented with an opportunity. A question asked on how to change her life and become part of something greater than herself while also raising her position in life and gaining meaning as well as something she had always lacked. Professional support and family. At home she had her brother, her sister. And now she had a man in her life who understood. Even her sons as young as they were, had become her biggest source of inspiration and drive. But in her professional life she had never had that kind of support or challenge.

Until now.

A few weeks ago she was presented with an opportunity. Alex Jones had come to her, he said his peace. He laid out his plan and vision with his sister. And asked Alicia to become a part of it. She didn’t fully know what to expect. But she knew she had to leave Atlanta. She had been there a few years rebuilding her life. And even as she made mistakes in her love life she had flourished in the ring. Money, fame, championships. They all came to her. But this opportunity. Wolfslair. It meant she had to move. She had been splitting her time between Atlanta and D.C where Micheal had lived. But this chapter, this commitment. It meant she had to leave and relocate to the bustling metropolis of New York. A fact that angered her mother. Micheal had pledged to follow her, to build a life there with her. A level of support, love and faith she'd never had. But deep down there was a feeling of guilt. She hadn’t left Atlanta on the best of terms.

A few weeks earlier

”What do you mean leaving?”

Barbera Ann Lukas. Alicia’s mother stood in front of her. She was flustered. Angry. Frustrated and in her mind, completely justified. Her long hair was held up and behind her head in a silver hair clip, her make up done impeccably and she wore a blue sundress with a white flowing sheer shawl over the top. She sighed and shook her head as her hand moved up to her temples rubbing them looking to be in pain. ”You have a home here, the boys are in school. And you’re now going to run again?” her reaction wasn’t surprising. Barbera always tried to control her daughters. They both rebelled, both pushed away. But they did love their mother.

But Alicia needed this. And she knew it. She had her arms folded over her chest. Her eyes covered with black sunglasses as they stood in her mothers rose garden. The irony was not lost on Alicia as she looked over at her younger sister Zoey, whose non-wrestling birthname was in fact...Rose. ”I’m not running.! And you’re acting like I’m going overseas again. I’m goin up north.” Alicia sighed and shook her head. She could feel her own anger rising as she and her mother stood face to face. Alicia and her mother could not be more different, Alicia stood there in a cut off black Metallica shirt and cut off daisy dukes. Her long hair flowing down her shoulders and back. ”It’s not like we ont visit! Abs you can come see us! And go shopping in Manhattan..” There it was, Alicia knew how to get to her mother. Always a silver lining.

Zoey couldn’t help but laugh under her breath as Barbera's ears seemed to twitch. She folded her arms over her chest and grumbled, and in that moment mother and daughter looked more like and acted more alike than either of them were prepared to admit comfortably. ”I still don’t agree Violet!” Alicia’s nostrils flared, she twitched as if she had just been hit by a bullet she heard her name said out aloud, and in such a harsh manner. ” I have saved you too many times, I have bailed you out of bad positions over and over again. But not this time. This is your mistake and you will own it and pay for it. Barbara stormed off, pushing past her oldest daughter, looking over at her youngest who had to hide the mild indignation of enjoying her older sister step up and stand up to her.

But those words echoed in Alicia‘s ears.

Even as she got on the plane, even as she hugged her sister and her mother goodbye as they stood in the domestic terminal. All she could think of was those final words in the rose garden. Even now, a few weeks later after arriving in New York, moving into her new home that she was sharing with Michael. She had bought a car, she had signed the contract and was working for a new company as well as training at the gym. She had used it as fuel, fuel to push herself towards her own goals and her own success. Fuel to become who she was always meant to be. But now, instead of doing it by herself she had a support network. She had people who loved her and respected her, personally and professionally Alicia Lukas was no longer a lone wolf. She had found her pack.

Sweat poured down her face, her long blond hair was stuck to her body as she took long deep breaths in and out. In the past Alicia was challenged and became better by facing the best in any company she was in. It helped her improve week in and week out, but her progression stalled. Because iron sharpens iron. But now at Wolfslair, it had become a war of attrition. Battles took place inside the gym, she got in the ring and tested herself against new faces and names, people who she didn’t know and didn’t have time to study, as well as Charlie and Johanna. Two of the best women’s wrestlers in the world. It was only going to make Alicia better, and God help anyone else who was going to step in the ring with her.

Fairytales

Have you ever seen a modern day fairytale unfold?. Have you ever seen anything that would make you question your own cynicism?. Alicia Lukas stepped into frame. Her hair done up and curled wearing a a long flowing pink dress adorned with sparkling diamonds.

” ladies and gentlemen, in this world of uncertain times and horrible instances of corruption, it is important to remember that there are good people out there. People who are struggling in their day-to-day life but you also step up and decide to be the best that they can be. You see, we all live in a world where the idea of a fairytale is an abstract concept. Where people believe that nice guys finish last, and that happy endings are reserved for those who can pay for it. But there are some people, who decide that they want to control their own narrative, that they want to be the paragon of their own story. They want to put their best foot forward and give everyone something to believe in, that they can overcome the odds and become the hero. Hero, that word in and of itself is one of the most overused terms I have ever heard in my life.”

Alicia shakes her head, a small smile comes across her lips as she holds up her hand abs snaps her fingers. We pull out to find that Alicia has changed from the puffy pink gown with, let’s be honest here, probably fake diamonds, to wearing black skinny jeans. Torn in strategic places, black and red converse, and a black and grey Parkway Drive shirt. Her hair is now normal, flowing down her shoulders and back.

”Now, here we are back to reality. A reality that someone like Keira doesn’t really live in. See you, you have your own story to tell. One that you are shopping down the throat of everyone who will listen to you. You believe yourself to be a hero, much like your wife does, but neither of you actually know what that word is. Or what it means. If you are with someone who goes well above and beyond their own constraints, a hero is someone who does things for the greater good not just for their own selfish gains. You are trying to do everything for your own selfish gains. We all want to believe that we can overcome anything in front of us and that we can become the best of what we choose to do. And what we choose to be. That is what you believe isn’t it? Keira?.”

“And I get it, I mean I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I don’t dislike you. I don’t hate you. Part of me even admires and likes you. Most of the time you are a kind person, you love and enjoy what you do and you don’t normally have an unkind word to say about or to anyone.”

“But you live in a world where only your story matters.You live in a world where everything is a fairytale.“

“From your marriage to your friendships. To your career. You think that coming after this championship and winning is going to be some amazing victory for everyone. You think it is going to open up the heavens and people are going to sing your praises and the angels are gonna say that everything is alright with the world. But the truth is, the only two people on this earth who actually care about you and this championship are you and Me. Your friends say that they will and so will your bean headed wife but the truth is that this match only matters to two people. And this, this is reality Keira.”

She hold up the bombshells championship, the nameplate shining with her name on it. Her hand wrapped around the leather strap tightly as she then pulls it over her shoulder holding it tight.

”You live in this world where you were the protagonist, meaning I’m the villain right?. Okay, I’ll live in this fantasy world with you for a moment and pretend that I’m a horrible person keeping you from your goal. I elevated this championship up, I made people want it. The first time I want it off of Danielle Western, the championship already meant something, but I took it to the next level. Then I lost it due to means that won’t even my own, and the title instantly lost a little bit of its shine. So I went out, I want it back, and very slowly match by match, win by win, record my broken fucking record, I made the championship mean something again.”

“Now, I am going to say something that many people will probably not agree with, something that won’t be very popular and may hurt some people’s feelings. Not everyone can be the world champion. Not everyone can reach the top of the goddamn mountain. This championship is not something that should be held by everyone.”

“You may want this championship Keira. But wanting something doesn’t mean you should just get it.”

“Are you good enough to win it? Absolutely. But, are you good enough to actually make it mean something? Or is your win going to be a fleeting moment of happiness, one that makes you smile, one that gives your wife an excuse to gush all over social media?. Or the start of a dynasty?. Do you remember what happened last time I lost this championship? I do. I remember clearly. I watched as your wife lost the championship, I watched as it got passed around, I watched as more women held this title in less time than my entire reign was. I watch this championship become a trinket. All because everyone had to have a turn. So if I have to be the villain of your stupid little story to keep this championship relevant? Then just call me maleficent, bitch.”

Alicia pauses for a moment as a smoke comes across her lips. She looks at the championship then back forward again.

” But that’s the issue isn’t it? One persons hero was another persons villain. You put your heart out there and you told me your story and laid your soul bare. Thing is though, when it comes to me and what I say in these pre-match promos, when I talk about my opponents I try to lay it out more as facts. Because those are what matters. See Keira, I can admit, like I have many times before, that you are a great talent. You can get in the ring and you can win matches and you are more than capable of beating me. But if we look at this logically, if we look at this without any of the emotion involved without your soul baring story that you are deciding to use as a personal narrative, I beat you 99 times out of 100.”

“I have been the best for so goddamn long, and it’s a constant fight. It is a constant fight for me to stay relevant to silence people who will try and drag me down because they are too lazy to lift themselves up, but you aren’t like that. You aren’t someone who tries to drag me down to your level, you are trying to pull yourself up and for that reason alone I can respect you. But I am still one of the best in that ring, on a microphone, in the world.“

“I’m sorry honey, but your little story means very little in the grand scheme of things when it come to High stakes and this championship. It isn’t relevant to the match.”

“Do you know why? Do you know why personal stories and opinions don’t matter? Because everyone has that story. Everyone is the hero with their own fucking narrative Keira.”

“You are not special because you have personal struggles.”

“Even if we lived in a world where the outcome of the match was all predicated on the struggles and wants and needs of someone in their personal life, you still wouldn’t beat me. I am a single mother who lived through abuse, I am a person who watch their father walk away from me. From my family. I ran away from a horrible situation to put myself in a worse situation all chasing an idea of something that didn’t exist and as I sat there, at rock bottom, losing everything, I picked myself up. I picked myself up and I dusted myself off and I came back and I scratched and clawed for everything. Through horrible relationships through abuse through daddy issues through psychological trauma I went through it all Keira.”

Alicia’s voice cracks, she clenches her jaw together to stop herself from showing too much emotion. She takes a drawn out breath closing her eyes before releasing it pushing out all the emotion.

” I became a champion, I have a happy marriage, I have two beautiful kids, and I am not going to allow you to twist this and make me the villain in your little story. This isn’t about your personal issues or mine, this is about a professional wrestling match, a professional wrestling championship, and this is about me proving everyone wrong again and proving that I am indeed still the best professional wrestler to step in the ring as a bombshell in this goddamn company. You can do everything you can to try and stop me, you always have a chance, but I’m not gonna let emotions sway me or anyone else…”

“I have records to break, fans to bring to this company and new challengers to face. Even with all I have done, the truth is I have only just started. And everyone should be afraid.”

Judgement

Have you ever been waiting for an answer to a question and it felt like your heart was going to explode?. Have you ever been terrified of a decision that ultimately was out of your hands? Have you ever known your life was about to change completely in the space of 10 minutes or less? That’s what Alicia Lukas was being faced with. But it wasn’t really Alicia a Lukas was it?. Alicia was her stage name and a persona that she showed the world. Alicia was confident, arrogant and could be brutal. This was Violet Maxwell. And she was completely different. Here, sitting in this courtroom, waiting for a judge to either give or take her children, Violet was close to tears.

Alicia wouldn’t feel this way.

That is all the brain through her mind. Like some kind of mantra. Alicia would not be this upset, she would not be sitting here with her arms in her lap holding herself like a scared child. Alicia would not have let her ex fiancé sit there and blatantly lie about her. She would not have broken down into tears as she detailed the abuse she went through for years all the while wondering if the judge was actually believing her or thinking that she was some kind of opportunistic liar. Alicia and Violet were two very different people. And she knew it. She hated it. It made Alicia feel sick. In Japan she discovered her voice, she worked hard and became a star. She walked out in front of thousands of people and earned respect. Respect of her trainers, other wrestlers and fans.

But here, back in the United States, back in her home state and country where very few people knew who she was or cared, she felt like a nobody. And there were eyes on her. Her own attorney. Her mother, Ronnie, Ronnie’s attorney. They all stared at her and she could feel it in the pit of her stomach. She felt like she was going to throw up. She felt her stomach even her body changed. It seemed to built-up fever pitch when she heard it, the click of the lock on the door behind the front of the court room.

Everyone stood up as the judge turned around the corner. He took his seat and sat down and everyone else did the same. Alicia was breathing in and out fast, the hands of clammy, she felt uncomfortable in her dress. Uncomfortable where she was sitting. Uncomfortable that everyone’s eyes were on her. She could barely make out what the judge was saying, she was shaking so hard I’m so nervous and filled with anxiety. ”The last few days we have heard a list of disturbing things from both sides.” Violet swallowed hard keeping down her breakfast.

Bacon, eggs and sausage was a bad decision.

She closed her eyes tight and focused on her breathing. Her head throbbing and aching. ”And while I cannot verify or find proof for or against the claims made by either party, I can look at the actions and passionate pleas” She could feel her heart racing, hear the beating in her own ears. Her chest erupted, her body tensed up in ways she could never imagine. Her mother reached over grabbing and squeezing her hand. It helped. ”While the children have been cared for by their father, the evidence that he had knowingly and systematically attempted to erase their mother from their lives is unacceptable. So it is of the opinion of this court that Rory and Ryan Maxwell must be returned to their mother Violet Maxwell for full custodial rights..”

She burst into tears. A weight was lifted. Her mother reached over pulling Violet into a hug. Barbara started crying, the first time she had ever seen her mother cry. There was a bang of the gavel, Violet looked up at her lawyer with a tearful smile. Mr Barnett smiled back. ”Thank you.” He gave a nod and picked up his briefcase. Violet took a long deep breath, she looked over at Rinnie. She couldn’t help but smile as he tore shreds off his legal team. His arms flailed, his voice cracked. Violet sat back and looked over at her mother. ”We won….they’re coming home momma.”

They got to their feet. Barbara hold her daughter‘s hand and led her from the court room. They made their way around and outside. As they started to walk down the steps Violet stepped and looked up at the building that she had grown to hate. But now, it was a sign of hope. Violet took a long deep breath, but as sge exhaled the confidence and power returned. Now she felt like Alicia fucking Lukas. And nothing was going to stop her…

Can’t chose your tag partners

”This is so exhausting. Being me.”

Alicia slowly looked up with an exasperated sigh.

”Can I ask a question? Where are my challengers at? Hm?. My defence against Keira was announced with the caveat that I may not be champion by High Stakes. So I said, anyone who wants a shit, just come at me. And then? Silence. When Evie was champion she was calling bombshells out and had bombshells all over her, I became the champion, for the third time, and all of y’all lose your voices. You become silent. A silent majority. Where’s Andrea?. Where’s Roxi?. Where’s Amber? Shit, at this point I’d take Violet Amelia Holt or Bea Barnhart. But nothing, not even Jessie Salco! So now, I’m going into the match with Keira basically cold. Cause I haven’t been booked in anything. Right up to this week. But, before I get into this weeks match and how much of a joke it is, I just want to remind every single one of you bombshells out there that you have had a month to challenge me, and you haven’t, so none of you can whine about my title rain since none of you have the fucking balls to do anything about it.”

Alicia shakes her head and pulls the SCW bombshells championship title up and over the shoulder holding it tight to the chest. The long blonde hair swept over one side of her face has it dangles down just like many of the promotional pictures.

”I’m sure some people must think I’m ecstatic at this match. Because I’ll be teaming up with my fellow well champion. So the whole if I hold up my end of the bargain so will my partner thing should come into play right? The only problem is that doesn’t happen with Jack Washington. Before his match with Alex when he became the world champion, Jack left his partners high and dry because he didn’t feel like teaming. And, that really is a problem because what we have here is a fundamental difference in psychology and understanding when it comes to this business and what it’s about. I’m in professional wrestling not just for money or accolades, I don’t just want to be famous, I want to be the best. I want to finish my career with the highest amount of wins that I can possibly get as opposed to losses. And unfortunately in matters like this that means I actually have to care what my partner does and doesn’t do. And since he doesn’t like teaming with people, and since he prefers personal glory over actually winning improving himself to be a champion, I’m up shit creek without a goddamn paddle or a fucking canoe”

“And I get it, we have this whole champions versus challenges mindset. That’s great that’s just fucking peachy. What would it have killed Mark and Christian instead of doing this knowing that it was going to screw me over, to just team me with Austin?. Instead of teaming with someone who I know, I respect, and I know will actually turn up and do his job. I have to team with an arrogant self-righteous man child who has no idea what it is to actually be professional or champion. Thank you Mark thank you Christian it’s so nice of you when you deliver these things to me. And before anyone gets any bright ideas about me complaining about this match, I’m not complaining about the match I’m complaining about my partner.”

“Because I don’t trust him not to just leave me hanging.”

“The one saving grace about this match is the fact that it’s mixed tag. So if Jack does decide to tuck  his tiny little balls back up into his stomach so they become ovaries and leave it’ll still be one on one because then it’ll be me and Keira. But this is supposed to be a tagteam match. I’m supposed to be going into this match knowing that my partner is going to be there ready to take on my opponents partner. I’m supposed to be going into this match knowing that we are going to be tagging in an out in some kind of conducive work. But I don’t know that. I don’t trust him. And I really should be able to, I should respect my partner. After all this is a guy who is the current world champion. He or someone who beat my mental and my friend and the leader of our stable. I should be able to stand here in front of all of you and say I respect Jack Washington.”

“But I can’t, and I don’t. See when he was going against Alex he decided to bring me into it, he brought Austin into it and while Austin will still sit there and show him respect because that’s what Austin does I want. I have worked years to be where I am and even in just this company I have become a star and I am a sure fire Hall of Famer. And when I’m teaming with someone who not only doesn’t respect that but downright pisses on it? You can assume that I’m going to be a very very bad mood.”

Her eyes narrow, she shakes her head and sighs heavily trying to calm herself down.

”now where does that leave Austin? I put in this very strange position where I’m gonna be on the other side of this team but I kind of want to watch Austin beat the crap out of my tag team partner. But if you take my dislike for Jack out of this then we are still left with the fact that Austin is one of my friends. I want him to succeed but that means me succeeding and winning this match affects him. I have to beat someone that I actually care about. It would be the same with Alex was that would be the same if Johanna was on another team or my opponent. And Austin spoke about it last week, momentum. This is the first chance I’ve had to actually be in the ring for a long time. I don’t know why I haven’t been booked, I don’t know why I haven’t had any matches but it just happened that way. So I need momentum going into this match. But sodas Austin. He needs momentum going into a match with Jack for the world championship. He has a chance to become a two  time champion.”

“And me winning this tag match could disrupt that. He could get in his head and play with his preparation. And I don’t like that feeling. But the competitor in me won’t allow it to happen. I can’t sit here and not give my all and Austin knows that, just like I know he’s going to get in the ring into everything he possibly can to beat Jack Washington down and win the match for his team. That is what you have when you team with someone from Wolfslair. You get someone who will put personal issues aside and just try and win the match. We can dislike our partners, even hate them, but we will put that aside to do the right thing. And that’s even more true for someone like Austin. In a world where certain people keep saying that we all sound alike? Austin is someone who is different. Alex will win at all costs, Johanna is an angry and dangerous bitch…”

“And me?. Well everyone knows the kind of person I am.”

“But Austin is, well he’s all about honor. He’s all about respect. When Austin gets beaten he doesn’t get mad, hell Kedron cheated to be him, and Austin didn’t get mad. He just kind of shrugged it off and said that next time he would watch a lot more closely and wouldn’t fall into the same trap. When I lost the bombshells championship the first time, when Crystal whacked me over the head and Seleana pinned me,  it was Austin who pulled me aside, sat me down and told me that there was no point in getting angry about things that I could not control. We then went and trained and talk some more and by the end of it he had me so confident insuring my abilities that I knew I was not going to make the same mistake twice and that if Crystal came anywhere near the ring while I was having a match I would knock her three ways from Sunday and still be her wife. That is the mentality we have, that is the family that we have. And Austin is a part of that family, he is the heart of the family. And it makes me feel horrible that when I get in the ring this week...I have to break that heart…”

She shrugs but you can see the sadness in her eyes. She clutches the bombshells championship closer to her chest as she stares ahead. Alicia very slowly snaps out of it and looks back up with the camera, she’s a consciously moves the strap of the title belt out of the way so everyone can see that she’s wearing black and red Wolfslair shirt

”You get to benefit from this don’t you Keira?. Think about it, I’m stuck with the selfish world champion he doesn’t like being in tag matches, he will walk out on his partners when he feels like it, and you get the guy who is so honorable that he would never do such a thing and will watch your back despite not really liking you. Now, I’m not gonna comment on our match that should be happening at High Stakes, that’s what is going to happen when we get to that. I’m not even gonna comment about the whole seven deadly sins bullshit that’s floating around everywhere. Again that’s something that I’m gonna drag out under the bus when we are not facing each other. No, instead I’d like to talk about the fact you have this big match coming up and you seem to be more preoccupied with something stuck in your brain and your own wife and Candy than the title match coming up.”

“It takes one look on social media or on the actual shows to see where your mind is at. And this whole thing with your wife and Sin and Candy it’s maddening to me Keira. For so long you’ve wanted a title shot.  Not just for any title you want of the title shot against the top title. You kept trying the entire time I was champion last time, and you repeatedly failed, this time though you get your title shot and instead of focusing on that and preparing for that, there’s all of this distraction. All of this inconsequential, bullshit. If you face me and any type of match, whether it be this tag team match or a one on one match you need to have a clear head and a complete understanding of what you’re going to be putting up with when you get in the ring with me. And the Fact you decided to go out there on Twitter and say that you were going to make sure I stay champion, like I need your help, shows that there is a fatal misunderstanding here of this dynamic. So let me explain it to you nice and slow so that even someone like you can understand.”

“You are the challenger. The challengers job is to challenge with the title. It doesn’t matter who the champion is, they just have to turn up and do their best when it comes to winning a championship from the champion, which would be me. My job as the champion is to make sure I stay the champion for as long as I possibly can and to make the championship mean something. I do that by cutting promos on TV shows, by mentioning my title and getting people to tune in on social media and by winning matches. That’s my job. But to do my job I need you to do your job, and what is your job?”

“Is it to constantly talk about this Sin character? Is it to laugh while your bean head wife cucks you on Twitter every Wednesday?. I’m not sure you even know how to be a proper challenger because you’ve never had to do it. But now you do. And as we go into this tag match, you’re going to have moments where you can get information about me. Where you can learn how I act in the ring, you are going to be able to have experience against me and information. And if you’re actually focused you might learn something. Focus on me, don’t focus on the bullshit around you, focus on me, the champion. Because I don’t want a weak challenger, how am I supposed to make this championship mean something again when I don’t have a challenger who actually knows what they’re doing?.”

“So get prepared sweetheart, go talk strategy with Austin, meet myself and Jack in the ring. And let’s see if you actually learn anything or if you’re too blinded by the stupidity in front of you.”

Lies and Slander

Do you know what it’s like to have to sit and listen to someone lie about you?. Do you know what it’s like to have someone sit there and slander your name in front of the world and everyone else and have to stay silent? This is what Alicia Lukas had to do. She sat silently in a hardwood chair in a court room in lower Atlanta. Earlier that day, her own lawyer sat down and grilled her. He asked her questions about everything. From why she left, the plans that she had, what she did in Japan, who she slept with, all of it and embarrassment in an invasion of privacy.

They entered the court room earlier, Alicia dressed in a straight Conservative looking blue dress. She felt like an idiot. Her mother dressed in a matching one that was purple. She looked across the room looking down the eyes of her ex-fiancé and father of her sons Ronald Jeffery Andrews the Third. He sat there looking as if butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. His hair immaculate, his big brown eyes looking up at the judge. A custom suit over his body to finish the aesthetic. It made Alicia's stomach churn. Knowing what he was really like and knowing that he was able to completely hide it behind all the bullshit.

Things dragged on. The judge listens to different character references. But it didn’t make sense. They paraded out Alicia siblings, they spoke highly of their sister. Then they paraded out Ronald’s father, his mother, all of his cousins. Every single one of them giving glowing references about how kind and generous Ronald was. How he was a great father. An upstanding member of the community. The real mudslinging had yet to begin. But Alicia and you was coming, she felt it in her stomach. An uneasy feeling that she was about to be paraded out in front of everyone in the world and called all sorts of horrible things.

She took a deep breath in and closed her eyes, she had to look away from Ronnie and she had to try and forget where she was. For everything that Alicia had been through, the abuse she had suffered before moving to Japan and taking control of her life, at this moment she felt like that same 18-year-old girl who wanted to end it all. Then she felt it, a hand wrapped around her sitting on her lap. She opened her eyes and looked down to see her mother’s hand. Complete with a comically large diamond ring. But the fact that her mother was there, that she had her back. That was different. It was new. And it was needed.

Ronald stood up and walked around the desk to take the stand. He looked up at the judge and gave her a night as he took his place. His lawyer moved around standing to the side, in front of the judge with his hand sitting in front of Ronald. “Mr Andrews. For the last 3 years, who has taken care of your young sons?” Alicia‘s heart sank again, she closed her eyes but could still hear his voice.

“That would be me.” He was so confident, sure of everything. And what was worse? He technically wasn’t wrong. Alicia had sent money, she had spoken to her boys over the Internet, or over her phone. But she has not been there physically for her sons. The fact that had torn her up inside and made her feel terrible. But it was something that was needed in her life and was better for them in the long run.

He looked over at Alicia, right in the eyes. She moved backwards slinking down in the chair. Her mother Barbara squeezed her hand and turned sideways shaking her head. Alicia knew what it meant. She needed to stay strong. “Why do you believe you should have full custody over your sons Ryan Andrews and Rory Andrews?” Hearing the words out loud, knowing what Alicia was going to lose if this went through. It hit her hard on the chest, harder than any hit she had taken while she was in Japan. Harder than any shot from anyone in the ring.

Ronnie cleared his throat he adjusted his tie and he put on the act. His eyes whitening as his eyebrows went up, small tears forming in the corners. His voice even slightly broke as he began to speak. Alicia was going to throw up. “Violet she….she abandoned us. In the middle of the night she left me and our sons. There was no explanation.” He swallowed hard, he looked down at his hands. He took a deep breath and shook his head looking back up at his lawyer and then over to Alicia. “I didn’t care about me. But our boys Violet...you abandoned our boys!”

She took another sharp breath in, this time holding it in her lungs. Her hands gripping her mothers as hard as she could. Barbara reached over with her other hand tapping her daughter on the leg, Alicia realised she was squeezing her mother‘s hand too hard she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. Trying to keep down the disappointment, the anger, and the guilt.

Ronald’s lawyer moved around to the other side. He now had his back to Alicia and her mother and their legal team. “And what do you believe Miss Maxwell did while she was gone?” It was a simple question, Alicia tilted her head waiting for the answer. The evidence was all there to show that she had been working, that she had been sending money back.

Ronnie again cleared his throat and put on the act. ”Honestly, I don’t know. But you have to understand violet was always a wild child. I’m sure she had her fun”. Alicia‘s eyes widened. She went to stand up but her mother grabbed her hand and make sure she stayed put. The anger started building, started burning in her stomach in her veins. She knew where this was going.

[color=;imegreen]“Her fun? Can you elaborate Mr Andrews?”[/color] There was a small amount of silence. A moment just long enough to make everyone in that room think that Ronnie was morally struggling with answering the question.

But then, he said it. With all the power and emotion behind his voice to sound like a hurt and betrayed ex fiancé. “Fun. Sleeping with other men, drinking, whoring about.”

“YOU LYIN SACK OF SHIT!” Alicia stood up, she shoved her mother‘s hand away grabbing onto the banister, she yelled as loud as she could. The judges gavel banged three times and Barbara quickly pulled Alicia backwards. Alicia looked at her mother who again shook her head.

“Order please! If Miss Maxwell can not control her temper she will be escorted from the court till she is called.” The judge looked down her nose at Alicia, she was an older woman perhaps in her mid-50s. Her long hair had turned salt and pepper colored long ago and was tied back in a smart looking bun. Alicia took a few deep breaths and slowly sat back down. “Please continue.” The judge gave the all clear to Ronnies lawyer, Ronnie shot a quick grin at Alicia that made her heart hurt.

His lawyer cleared his throat turning to Rinnie to keep going with their lies. “Mr Andrews. Do you believe Moss Maxwell is a good mother?”

He stuttered, he looked down and took a long deep breath. He was so good with his act. He should have been an actor. “I know she loves the boys. But no. She isn’t a good mother...she’s barely a mother.” Alicia went to stand up again, this time her mother was way ahead of her, turning to hold her down. The judge looked over and raised an eyebrow, Alicia took deep breaths. She knew her lawyer could ask questions and soon.

It would be her turn to speak.

The Choice

Her television flickered as Alicia watched the footage. Passed matches between herself and Evie. A bottle of beer say on her table as her eyes stayed fixated to the screen. She studied every single move and moment. A small growl coming from her lips as she watched herself lose. Alicia reaches forward and grabbed the beer, taking it down. She quickly grabbed a second popping it open

“I’ve been dominant for a very long time. And I get it, you’ve all heard that before right?. You’ve all heard about my rain of dominance, you’ve all heard about what I’ve done to most of the division. Most of you saw it, watched it, some cheered for it, others booed. But, have any of you actually found the answer as to why?. Have any of you actually watch the matches, studied what happened, what my opponents did wrong and what I did right? This what you were seeing me do, is the difference between myself and most of the roster. You listen to 90% of these women talk and it’s quite clear that none of them actually go back and watch their matches, none of them think about the mistakes I’ve made, agonise over them, none of them care. They just go out do what they need to do, and think that it will be enough.”

“But you see, that has never been what I’ve done. I sit here and study myself, my opponents, and if we faced each other before our past meetings. Most of the time, it’s just me watching myself beat the hell out of people over and over again. And I’m sure some of you are wondering why. Why would I continue to watch matches against people that I have dominated. Women like Crystal, Seleana, Mercedes, Kate. And the answer to that is simple. Because they could beat me.”

“Anybody can beat anyone else on any given night.“

“That is why I do this. That’s why it is my entire life. I travel to Vegas, I wrestle my matches, I train with all of my friends, I spend time with my family, and then I do this. I shut my door, and make sure the blinds are pulled, and I watch wrestling. This is what I do. I don’t have any other hobbies, I don’t go to concerts, I don’t play video games, I don’t really watch movies. I occasionally watch football, but the Falcons have sucked for a while so I don’t get a lot of joy there. My joy in life comes from my family and from wrestling. I have given my all into it, but I also know that just because I give my all into it, just because I’m one of the best to ever step foot in a ring, it doesn’t guarantee me a win. It doesn’t mean that I will just become a champion because I want to wish it into existence.”

Alicia slowly gets to her feet, she moves around the small glass table sitting in front of the couch. She reaches over and turns off her television. She stands in front of it with a few deep breaths before turning back and continuing.

“Everything is a struggle, everything you do in this business is all predicated on the idea that you will still need to get better every single day. Because if you do not get better every single day, if you do not learn, if you do not grow, you will get left behind. That is what has happened to Mercedes Vargas. That’s what’s happened to Crystal. That is what has happened to so many other names have come and gone from this company. But that will not happen to me. I am a two time bombshells champion, I have had one of the most dominant runs in history, and I refuse to fall out of existence, and become a nobody.”

“That is one of the reasons why I have chosen this match. It all goes back to the fact that anyone can beat anyone else on any given night. I could be in the ring with someone like Jessie Salco, and nine times out of 10, actually, 99 times out of 100 I walk out of that match with my hand held high and my name being called as the winner. But that one time I’m not, if I have a lapse in concentration, or she gets lucky, that one time could be during something big.”

“Now, I understand the show is called violent conduct. I understand everyone else is probably thinking of these elaborate stipulations where they want to rip each other’s heads off, and there’s going to be blood and guts.“

“But truth be told, I believe that myself and Evie Jordan deserve better than that. Even after her comments on climax control. I still believe that she deserves the respect of everyone in this company. The thing is, Evie needs to learn something here. You can never deal in absolutes. You can never deal in certainties. Evie  says she respects me, but she wants to say that the result and outcome will be the same when she and I face which other at violent conduct? Sure, you can say that it was just a shot at the fans Evie. Because they seem to hate you being champion. But you and I know the truth. You are lying to yourself.”

Alicia shrugs, she moves back across to near her sofa before leaning over and grabbing her be moving around to the window taking a long drink out of it. She size heavily interns leaning back against the wall and falling her arms over her chest.

“Not about your confidence. Not about how good you are. Not even about respecting me, because I know that you respect how good I am in that ring. But you don’t respect my claim as the best in the world. And that’s a problem. See there is a problem to me because even though you are the champion, you have not proved that you are better than me. We can take the triple threat match out of it, we can just look at our two one-on-one matches. And they were so close. They were so competitive and they were real and they were pure and they were everything that I love about professional wrestling. you can call what you’ve done the comeback of the year, you can tell the world how great you are, but no one did what I did.”

“No one, stepped out from the backstage area, and down to that ring, performed like I performed on such a high level. And I’m not gonna sit here and say that you are a great professional wrestler Evie, because you are. You beat me in a one on one match and that is a very hard thing to do. Beating me at any type of match is a hard thing to do. I failed to stop you from feeding Andrea Hernandez and that allowed you to escape to another match with me. And then you beat me there too. So don’t you think for a second that I don’t respect you or don’t think that you can do it again and beat me. Because I do. That’s why I chose this match.”

“it will provide me with an answer.”

“The question is simple. Which one of us is better?. Due to your comments, about how the outcome will remain the same, I get a sneaking suspicion that you think you’ve already found the answer. And I guess that’s the difference between us isn’t it Evie?. You think you have all the answers, you think you know everything, you think you’re the best, you think that you are going to be the champion for as long as you want to be, and as much as you do you respect someone like me you are always gonna feel threatened by what I did. Because you have a fear that deep down people are always going to look at you as second best.”

“But me? I’m always trying to find a new answer, from a new question.“

She pushes off the wall, the top of her mouth on the right side slowly twitching into a smirk. How I was travelling over through the room to the far wall, all of her past championships hung up on the wall. She clears her throat and turns her head, her bright blue eyes staring forward.

“And violent conduct people see everyone else feeding the snot out of each other, they will see blood they will see guts but when you and I step in the ring Evie it’s going to be about competition. It is going to be about the current champion, and the former champion, stepping in the ring to see who is better. But we’re gonna see one person who thinks that the end of the match is a foregone conclusion against someone who knows what it takes to step up and destroy expectations.”

“I’m not stupid, I know that you could beat me. I know that you could go into this match and they could be five falls and you could end up winning 3 to 2. I know that you could walk out of violent conduct with the championship held high and then I honestly don’t know if I would ever get a shot of the championship while you were the champion ever again. The truth is I’m not even sure I will deserve it, the only reason why I’m comfortable going against you in this match, is because of what I did to 8 other women to get to you.”

“They all had their chance, they all had moments where they could have thrown me over the top rope. They all had moments where they could have taken that championship match and gone after you. But they failed. And I’m not going to apologise for proving that I’m still the best. I’m not gonna apologise for looking forward to violent conduct and looking forward to getting my hands on you. I’m someone who is always chasing a moment, the challenge, and you are both.”

“Let’s dance.“

Bleed it out….

It had been a rough few weeks. Since Summer XXXtreme. The match ran through her mind over and over again. What could she have done differently?. What was the reason for her loss?. Questions everywhere but very few answers. So, she did what she always does when it’s time to refocus and reboot. She threw herself into the gym. She threw herself into working out and into improving her body. But it was always more than that.

Alicia arrived early. Not just before any of the other members, before any of the owners. Alex and Sonya had given her a key long ago, she arrived and opened the large roller door lifting the metal up as it coiled behind the wall above. She took a long deep breath in and smiled. She felt comfortable here, she felt right. Even as the virus ravaged the world, and the greater United States, things had started changing, getting back to a small amount of normality.

She could travel, she could stay with her family, she could train at her home gym. These were all things she had taken for granted over the last few months since returning from injury.

Humans are creatures of habit, we gravitate towards the comfort and the familiar. Even though Alicia had taken herself out of her comfort zone many times over the years she had always craved stability. From when she was a little girl to now, she needed a stable home life, a stable friendship base. Things she had at home. The smell hit her, first thing in the morning. The cleaning products that had kept everything sterile. Even before the pandemic Alex always made sure they cleaned at the end of the day.

”Take pride in the gym, take pride in yourself” She muttered to herself, It was something Alex had said many times, but also something that had been said to her back in Japan. A mantra of respect and honor. Things that were instilled in her from day one of starting down this path in life. Back to basics. Back to the grind. She turned the lights on and smiled placing her back down at the side. She was in her gear, the aic con was on, the music was on and Alicia was in the workout room, the weights sitting around her.

She hooked her legs at the end of the bench that was tilted at a 45 degree angle, holding a fifty pound plate to her chest and started doing sit ups. Each one using her core to push herself up as sweat started to drip from her body to the mat beneath her. The music seemed to drown out the rest of the sounds, her grunting, the movement of the bench she was laying on, all of it. Even the footsteps of the next person to arrive.

His voice broke through the focus. ”How long have you been doing that?” Alex smiled and shook his head, two coffees in his hands. He placed on down near the machine, Alicia could smell it, the caffeine, the shot of hazelnut flavour. She sighed and moved the large metal plate over to the floor, reaching up to unhook her legs from the top of the bench. Alex moved around and sat down on the nearest bench taking a sip of his own coffee. Alicia sat on the floor, her legs crossed as she drank her own.

She couldn’t help but smile. Coffee made her happy. ”You know me, After a win, I’m here early, after a loss...I barely leave.”

He couldn’t help but laugh. She was right of course. Alicia had always been that way. ”You know it wasn’t your fault right?” She looked up raising an eyebrow, ”The loss, things happen, and Andrea is a variable” A small smirk came across her lips as she slowly nodded. She knew he was right But it still wasn’t an excuse. Alicia never liked excuses. Even if they were valid. ”You really haven’t changed. Not one bit since I met you kid...a blessing and a curse being this good…”

He pushed to his feet and moved out towards the office, his coffee in hand. Alicia took a long deep breath in looking down at the top of the coffee up, her finger danced along the plastic rim as steam billowed from the slit in the top.

Her mind flashed back, 8 years ago, Tokyo Japan. A young Alicia Lukas sat on her knees, her back straight. She was next to three other women, all Japanese and men lined up next to them in ascending height order. Her long blond hair was tied back with a few small pink accents throughout. Her bright blue eyes stared forward, a large purple bruise visible on her cheek. There was a loud clap and the trainees all stood up, they gave a small bow and everyone but Alicia walked out to the outer area and to the kitchen to eat.

Alicia though moved around the gym moving mats, rolling them up and making sure the ropes were wiped down in both practice rings. She sighed and cleaned the turnbuckle pads before jumping down off the apron to the floor. She had left one ring untouched, she slid in and moved around it, feeling the canvas beneath her feet, the plywood, the cabled ropes. Alicia closed her eyes and smiled before taking off hitting the ropes over and over again, putting her lead arm out to pull herself against the cables and back again, she suddenly stopped and changed angles before rolling and popping back to her feet.

But she wasn’t alone, a pair of eyes were watching her, his arms over his chest as he stepped towards the ring with a laugh. ”Everyone else is eating” Alicia startled and turned, it was Alex Jones. A young fellow american wrestler from texas who had been a pro for about five years. He was six foot tall, athletic and had long dark hair with blond streaks and piercing green eyes. Alicia bit her lip, she was 19 years old, had been in japan a few months and had only got her foot in the door because of her father.

”You know how it is. I’m not    Japanese, and I’m female. Double the sin, triple the work” Alex chuckled. She wasn’t wrong.

Alicia had turned up with her bag, a few dollars and a name of the head instructor, a man who had known her father Jason Maxwell. The seven foot tall american kaiju. The gym took her in, let her train in exchange for cleaning. She had to pay her dues, they went hard on her. There were no promises in the ring, no promises of training or glory. And definitely no preferential treatment. Her cheek burned, a reminder of her position in the gym. Beneath everyone else. A lesson learned with an errant elbow, a receipt for her own careless mistake.

Alex moved along the apron, his hand reaching out to move his fingertips along the canvas. Alex had been announced as a guest for a few shows, leading a contingent of stars from New Championship Wrestling. Their farewell tour as the company was going to close in a few months. Alex sighed and looked over at Alicia.”You want to show me what you’ve learned?” The question caught her off guard, her jaw dropped and she swallowed hard. This was not the same Alicia we know today.

She had the blond hair, the bright blue eyes and the smile. But there was no arrogance, no battle hardened ring IQ, she was still five foot six, but was barely a hundred pounds. She had no muscle, no power. The curves and muscles we see today were a year or two off beginning. This wasn’t Alicia Lukas. This was Violet Maxwell, debutant daughter of Scarlett Justine and Jason Maxwell. A 19 year old rookie…

”Sure.”

She smiled, she panicked. What the hell did she say?. What did she agree too?. Why would she agree?. She pulled herself onto the apron, stepped into the ring and looked Alex up and down. They locked up, before she knew it Alex had her wrist, he had ducked under and spun around behind her. He wrenched her arm up into a hammerlock, Alicia tried everything, she tried to turn into it, Alex moved his legs to the outside, she tried to duck under and grab his leg, Alex stepped back. Alicia was frustrated, she was panicked. And then it happened. She threw her arm back, connecting with the side of Alexs head, he was off balance, Alicia spun, wrapped her legs around his and took him down with a drop toe hold.

It was basic. But it was effective.

Alicia got to her feet and stepped back as Alex smirked and stood up with a nod. ”Not bad. Considering you’ve been doing this six months, maybe less.” How did he know?. Alicia looked confused as Alex slowly leaned back on the top rope. ”Keep it up, don’t quit. Your effort, everything you’ve done...it hasn’t been unnoticed. Good luck...I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other again.” He held out his hand, Alicia took it and as Alex slid from the ring Alicia couldn’t help but smile.

The easy way

”I sit on a gilded throne…”

Her voice was soft, low but still audible. A small exhale followed as Alicia tilted her head sideways. Her long hair flowing down her back and shoulders from under a black bandana. A small flash of a smile betrays her true feelings and intentions. Bubbling beneath the surface, beneath the smiline, the painted red lips and the youthful looks was an anger and frustration. A self loathing feeling buried deep in her stomach. Anger at herself. Frustration at her failures.

And also, anger at how the story was unfolding, frustrations of a forced narrative.

Alicia sat with the light off, her hands clasped together, her legs crossed under her body. She moved her head sideways staring down at the light coming from her phone, the record light was on, she knew she had to say something, anything. But fort the first time in her life, the former champion and dominant force was speechless. She had nothing prepared. Nothing in her mind. No sheet full of statistics and facts ready to be read from to prove her points. This was an unprepared Alicia.

Time to speak from the heart….

”If you believe what some say about me, I am a pampered prissy little diva. Handed opportunities and titles based on my looks and my ability to politically maneuver myself into positions of power. Talking my way into people's minds and bringing them down to the point of failure. So that before the match even happens I have already won half the battles before the war. I have this ability to twist and turn facts into my favour, to verbally dress down people and break them into a million little pieces. So before I even step into the ring with them, they are broken, battered, bruised. Their egos, destroyed and their self confidence eaten and digested.”

“Part of that is true. Part of it is a game plan. But at the same time, there are a lot of misconceptions. And I’m going to prove, right now, that there is nothing, any of you can say about me, this is as bad as the truth. And as horrible as my story and past.”

“They think I had it easy….and members of my family..well they really did…”

“My mother, grew up into a family of money. She was a pretty little bird in a cage. Given all she ever wanted and desired by a doting mother and father. They spoiled her, showed her with gifts, affection and words of affirmation and all she had to do to keep her position was do all they wanted. And for twenty two years, that's what she did. All thew way till she met my father. Jason Maxwell. A seven foot tall, blonde haired blue eyes mound of muscle, a former college star football player turned wrestler. And...cupid struck…”

“My mother and father had five years together, three children and a lifetime of anger, regret and blame.”

Alicia’s nostrils flared, her heart sank as she talked about dear old daddy, she looked over at a picture of him, from his younger days. His long hair flipped to one side, a grin on his face, his hands up and a two sweet sign flashed. She shook her head and buried the anger down.

”My mother took the easy way out. Instead of sticking with my dad, following him so myself, Josh and Zoey could know him, she went back to her parents, to the money, to the easy life. Great role model eh?. But of course, I’ve had it easy to right?. I got to grow up with my grandparents' money and take the easy way too. I took the easy way out when at sweet sixteen I was set up with one of my grandfather's friends' sons. I took the easy way out when by 18 I had two sons and I was a teenage mother living off my very very abusive boyfriends dime…”

“And I certainly took the EASY way out when I stood in the bathroom, looking over a sink filled with hot water and a goddamn razor in my hand. I took the easy way out when I made the decision to get out of the country in the middle of the night, go to Japan with twenty five dollars to my name. I had it EASY getting my head kicked in every damn day in Tokyo. I had it easy coming back to the states, falling into abusive relationship after relationship because of my own mistakes, having to earn back my kids trust and also finding my father only to lose him to a goddamn heart attack just after I got married…”

“Explain, explain to me how any of that...was easy….”

“I don’t tell you all this because I want to be looked at as a pariah or have people feel sorry for me. I’m telling you this because I want the reality to sink in. Into every single one of you. That there is nothing you can say to me or about me that is in any way, shape or form worse than what I have gone through or thought about myself in the past. See, real power is being able to look at your past, and not let it repeat itself. Because time, history and actions...all move in a cycle. And to be able to break that cycle, well, that shows true spirit and power…”

She nods slowly and sighs deep, her anger still bubbling unjust under the surface, her mind focusing from herself and the admissions of her own shortcomings to that of the future. And her showdown with Evie Jordan, and the championship she wants so desperately in her hands again.

”This entire story, the whole narrative is built behind arrogance. But, it’s the wrong type of arrogance. See, everything, from the attitude of those around me, to the backstage officials and their talk, all the way to the synopsis leading into my and Evie’s match this coming Sunday is all predicated on the belief that I think Evie didn’t beat me at Summer XXXtreme. That I believe that title still belongs to me. And Sin City Wrestling is putting words in my mouth.”

“Go back and listen to what I said before Summer XXXtreme. I told Evie she needed to validate her championship reign and show us all that the win over Andrea wasn’t a fluke. I told her that beating myself and Andrea was the key to restoring honor and prestige to that championship. And, that is all I wanted. The two ways that the title was going to become what it needed to be and find its way back to the main event as the crown jewel of wrestling was either by being in my hands at the end of the night, or by Evie Jordan beating me, and walking out as champion…”

“That is how you fix the title, that is how you remind everyone what that title means after the clusterfuck of what Roxi, Christina and Andrea did to it.”

“But, I didn’t say Evie had to PIN me or make ME tap to beat me. Now, the entire wrestling world is patting us all on the back for the match we had at Summer XXXtreme and so they should. We went in there and we put it all on the line and at the end of the night Evie walked out holding that title high. She deserves to be celebrated for that, she deserves her time in the sun and her time to gloat and stamp her feet and proclaim that she is the best professional wrestler in the bombshells division because two weeks ago on the cruise ship…”

“She proved it….”

“Evie Jordan is the champion, Evie Jordan is the best and Evie Jordan can scream it from the rooftops and now, well now it’s up to me to prove her wrong and to take that title and indeed the throne back. And there’s all this talk about how I wasn’t “beaten” at Summer XXXtreme and it would be so EASY to play into that. It would be easy for me to stroke ,my own ego, to look into the little camera on my iPhone ands record and scathing, arrogant self righteous promo and tell you all how it was a fluke and that one on one she can’t beat me and all the things I’m sure so many of you thought you’d hear from me…”

She leans forward, her voice softens, all the anger has been released, the frustration thrown out for the world to see and hear. Her body language relaxing as her shoulders drop and her breathing returns to normal, the bubbling fire setting aside to her own realisation in the face of admissions of guilt and failure.

”Evie Jordan can beat me, she had beaten me. And this week you should all tune in, but not because I can guarantee I will walk out as champion. You should all watch...cause I CAN’T guarantee it...and that...that should excite you….Evie..lets go to war…”