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181
Climax Control Archives / Our Opponents are a Comedy Act
« on: July 02, 2020, 06:01:48 PM »
 COMEDY

Narrator:  Most of you know Bill Barnhart is a very serious person but some of you may not know that Bill can be amusing and funny. In a moment I’ll turn you over to Bill Barnhart, who is at Staggs Dungeon, in Las Vegas, Nevada, where he and Bea will be in a tag team match against a team named Sass and Bash. There is a room set up for the wrestlers to entertain those who are also in quarantine and Bill is headlining a standup comedy act for those in attendance.

The scene shifts to the event room in Staggs Dungeon, where Bill will be performing his stand-up comedy routine. The person assigned as Emcee is standing at the mic ready to introduce the next act.

Emcee:  I want to thank all the people in the audience for coming to this edition of our Amateur Night for stand-up comedians. We have a total of ten competitors tonight and you’ve already heard from nine of them. The tenth competitor is well known in the sport of wrestling, his name is Bill Barnhart, and he is a wrestler in Sin City Wrestling. Without further delay I introduce to you Bill Barnhart!

The people in attendance cheer as Bill Barnhart approaches the mic. Bill wastes no time as he jumps directly into his comedy routine.

Bill:  Hi! My name is Bill Barnhart and I’m a wrestler in Sin City Wrestling and they’re holding Climax Control 273 here in Staggs Dungeon, so I hope you’ll to enjoy watching me wrestle with my tag team partner, and my wife, Bea. Let me jump into my stand-up comedy routine. I love talking about the mother and father of my friend. My friend’s mother is so fat!

There is no reaction from the audience as they are waiting to hear more before deciding if they are to laugh or moan.

Bill:  Okay. Not the reaction I expected so let me explain. When I say something like my friend’s mother is so fat you reply with the question HOW FAT IS SHE? Let us do this again. My friend’s mother is so fat!

Audience:  HOW FAT IS SHE?

Bill:  Their mother is so fat when she flies on an airplane she has to purchase an entire row of seats!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  One day she wore a white dress and 50 cars parked in front of her because they thought they were at a drive-in movie!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  Another day she wore a green dress with white stripes on it and they thought she was a football field!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  One time their mother took up ballet. Instead of wearing a Tutu she had to wear a FourFour!

Audience:  *VERY LOUD LAUGHTER*

Bill:  Thanks for the great reaction to my jokes. However I I can see by the looks I’m getting from the women in the audience that you think I’m disrespecting women but that’s not the case. In fact let me talk about my friend’s the father. You have to understand that my friend’s father is so old that…

Audience *cuts Bill off in mid-comments to shout out* HOW OLD IS HE?

Bill:  My friend’s father is so old when Archeologist found Hieroglyphs they found his picture painted on the walls!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  He’s so old Methuselah calls him Pops!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  You know in the Bible where it says GOD SAID LET THERE BE LIGHT. . .AND THERE WAS LIGHT? The next thing heard was my friend’s father yelling out: HEY! TURN OUT THAT LIGHT! I’M TRYING TO SLEEP!!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  Now let me return to my friend’s mother since I forgot to tell you that in addition to being so fat she’s also so ugly.

Audience:  HOW UGLY IS SHE?

Bill:  She’s so ugly they use her as a model for Gargoyles!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  She’s so ugly the Phantom of the Opera walked up to her, took off his mask, and handed it to her saying HERE, TAKE MY MASK, YOU NEED IT MORE THAN I DO!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  She’s so ugly when the Elephant Man saw her he screamed in horror!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  She came over my house once and scared the fur off my cat!!!

Audience:  *VERY LOUD LAUGHTER*

Bill:  I want to change from talking about my friend’s parents and talk to you about learning to speak another language. One time my friend tried to teach me Spanish as he said Spanish is extremely easy to learn. I have to be honest with you that I have enough trouble with English but I listened to my friend anyway. For example my friend told me that AQUI means HERE. AQUI means HERE. Hmmm…I thought A KEY was something you put into a door to unlock the lock!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  Then my friend told me that QUE means WHAT. QUE means WHAT. I thought K was the eleventh letter of the alphabet.

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill waits to see if audience counts the letters of the alphabet to the letter K and for sure the people in the audience start counting the letters using their hands.

Bill:  I see you counting the letters on your hands…A -- B -- C -- D -- E -- F -- G -- H -- I -- J -- K and then looking at each other and saying GEE. . .K IS THE ELEVENTH LETTER OF THE ALPHABET! Of course it is! I wouldn’t lie to you!

Audience:  *LAUGHTER*

Bill:  After my friend tried to teach me the meaning of QUE and AQUI they got frustrated and assured me the next Spanish word they would teach me would be the word PORQUE which means BECAUSE. My friend repeated that PORQUE means BECAUSE. I burst out laughing because I wasn’t buying that definition. What I said to them was: OH COME ON! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT PORKY IS A CARTOON PIG!!!

The audience is laughing so hard some of them are snorting, some pass out from lack of oxygen, and others double over from the pain in their side from the hard laughing.

Audience:  *VERY LOUD LAUGHTER* *SNORT*

Bill:  Thank you! Thank you very much! I’m glad you enjoyed my stand up comedy routine. Remember that myself and Bea are in a Mixed Tag Team match against a team named Sass and Bash consisting of Malachi and Bella Madison.

At the mention of the names Malachi and Bella Madison those in attendance in the room burst out is loud laughter.

Bill:  How appropriate that I did a comedy routine and now me and Bea have a match against a joke of a team and at the mention of their names I got more laughter than from my jokes. Again thanks for enjoying my performance.

A SHORT TIME LATER IN THE ROOM OF BILL AND BEA BARNHART AT THE SAXON HOTEL.

Bill Barnhart walks from the kitchen area to the living room area of their hotel room, holding a large bowl of chips and dip, and he takes a seat on the couch. He places the bowl of chips and dip on the coffee table. In a flash Iris his English Bulldog runs into the room and jumps on the couch drooling for some chips and dip.

Bill:  Don’t worry Iris. I have chips and dip for you I’ll give them to you when I’m done with my presentation.

Bill stands up and returns to the kitchen to get something and he returns with a six pack of Classic Coke which he places on the coffee table in front of the couch. Iris continues drooling and Bill ignores her and he promised to give her chips and dip after he’s done with his comments.

Bill:  This may come as a surprise to most of you but I have very little to say about Malachi and Bella Madison. Why, you are thinking, would Bill Barnhart not have much to say about opponents when he’s usually full of words for everyone? Well if I had quality opponents who I felt would give me a rough time in the match I’d have a lot to say. What the hell can I say about two opponents who suck? What the hell can I say about the other male wrestler in the match who is 6 inches shorter and 65 pounds lighter than I am? YOU TWO SUCK is the best thing I can say about you two at this time. I’m not gonna say I’m disappointed that the King for the Day assigned us to this match. I will, though, state, that when we defeat you it should lead to our Mixed Tag Team getting a shot at the Mixed Tag Team Champions. I would not request or demand that match but I’ll leave it to Management to make that call.

Bill loads a large bowl with chips and dip for Iris. We see the eyes of Iris light up when she sees the food. Bill places a large bath towel on the floor and then he places the bowl on the towel. Iris doesn’t need to wait for Daddy Bill to let her know she can dive into the chips and dip as she jumps off the couch and shoves her face in the bowl. When Iris looks up from the bowl we cannot help but laugh seeing chips and dip spread all over her face.

Bill:  Oh Iris! Now you have chips and dip all over your face so I’m gonna have to give you a bath to clean you up.

Iris hears the B word, BATH, and she freaks out. Before running into the bedroom to hide under the bed Iris finishes the chips and dip and then she rubs her face on the towel to get as much of the chips and dip as she can off her face. Satisfied she did what she could Iris flees to the bedroom and hides under the bed.

Bill:  The Mixed Tag Team we’re facing at Climax Control 273 call themselves Sass and Bash. More like Beavis and Butthead if you ask me. Heh heh heh! These two ass clowns are pathetic excuses for wrestlers and even more pathetic calling themselves a tag team. Malachi the Moron and Bella the butthead are gonna find out how hellish a match against myself and Bea can be. There’s a hell of a lot of hurt, pain, and suffering, wrestlers can legally put on other wrestlers fully within the rules of a non-Hardcore Rules match. I would tell Malachi and Bella to WATCH AND LEARN but I have to let them know that when we beat you two to where your eyes are swollen and bruised shut it is damn hard to see anything. Har har har! I can’t wait to get you two inside the ring at Climax Control 273.

Bill motions to the cameraman he is done with his comments and the cameraman calls into the Network for instructions on what to do next. He is told to place her camera into a slow fade to black and they will take over once the scene has gone to black. He does as he is instructed and in about 30 seconds the scene fades to black.


182
Climax Control Archives / Gonna Be A Fun Match
« on: July 02, 2020, 06:00:07 PM »
 SASS AND BASH?  MORE LIKE DUMB AND DUMBER

Narrator:  Bea asked me to lead into her comments for her upcoming match at Climax Control 273 by having the Network show a surveillance video of an incident that took place at the Cruse Crossing Kroger Grocery Store on Herrington Road in Lawrenceville, Georgia. She asked this be shown to give everyone an idea how tough she is.

We open with a scene of Bea Barnhart coming out of the Cruse Crossing Kroger Grocery Store located on Herrington Road in Lawrenceville, Georgia. We don’t know when this particular event took place but we know it is surveillance camera video of an incident that happened about a year ago.

Bea comes out of the Kroger Grocery Store pushing one of the large shopping carts that is full of the items she purchased. When she arrives at her car she opens the trunk and starts loading her purchases into the trunk. We see two large men run up and attack Bea and try to steal her purchases. Since Bea was leaning into the trunk when the two men attacked she didn’t see them coming but she felt their presence. Realizing she was in danger Bea grabbed a tire iron that was in her trunk and when one of the men grabbed her, and the other tried stealing her groceries, she swung the tire iron back behind her and whacked the man holding onto her in the ribs, then she turned toward him and kicked him in the groin, and the man drops to the pavement. She turns around and swings the tire iron at the head of the second man which knocks the man unconscious and he drops her grocery bags as he collapses to the pavement. Apparently one of the other customers called 911 as several Gwinnett Police vehicles came into the parking lot and arrested the two men.

The video is done playing and the scene shifts to Bea Barnhart at the room at the Saxon Hotel where she and Bill and Iris are staying. She is dressed casually in blue jeans, a pink pullover shirt, and pink athletic shoes. Bea is sitting on a chair next to the couch and she looks into the camera and begins her comments.

Bea:  The Narrator told me ahead of time what what video he was going to show you on the screen. I didn’t want it shown but now that it is public I will talk about it. When someone f*cks with me they get f*cked with in return by me. When two men tried to kidnap me and steal my groceries and possibly my car I f*cked them up and they’re still in prison to this day.

Bea lets out a loud sigh.

Bea:  *SIGH* I was able to take out two men who were larger and heavier than me. It isn’t the size that matters it is how you handle yourself that counts. At Climax Control 273 me and Bill, as a Mixed Tag Team, face off against the team of Sass and Bash consisting of Malachi and Bella Madison. Apparently the wrestling gods have a major sense of humor by creating you two and then getting you to combine as a Mixed Tag Team. Maybe instead of the name Sass and Bash maybe you could have called yourselves Dumb and Dumber. But since that was a title of a movie maybe Lame and Lazy would be a more appropriate name for your team.

Bea laughs for a bit.

Bea:  I heard rumors that you two immediately whined to Management to demand to know why you got assigned to me and Bill in a Mixed Tag Team match instead of getting a shot at the Mixed Tag Team Championship. I heard you claimed it wasn’t fair that the King for the Day, Jack Washington, made a non-title match for you against us. I also heard that the King for the Day put you in your place and told you to shut the hell up. If you’re so great that you feel you should be handed a shot at the Mixed Tag Team Championship you would have received that match. But you didn’t receive that match because you don’t deserve it. Hopefully the winner of our match, me and Bill of course, will receive a shot at the Mixed Tag Team Champions for our win. But that decision is with Management and the two of us don’t run around demanding shots at Championships like you do. We earn what we get.

Iris, Bill and Bea’s English Bulldog, walks into the room and she walks by Mommy Bea and looks up at her then continues walking until she is out of camera range.

Bea:  Bella let me focus on you for a moment since in our Mixed Tag Team match it is female wrestler versus female wrestler and male wrestler versus male wrestler. You know the rules of the match Bella. If we are the legal wrestlers in the ring and one of us tags our partner into the match then both of us need to leave the ring to the men. If the two men are the legal wrestlers in the ring and one of them tags their partner into the match then both male wrestlers must leave the ring. No male on female or female on male thing. Hope that wasn’t overly confusing for your pathetic little pea brain but at least you can’t claim you didn’t know the rules of the match.

Bea gives two thumbs up into the camera.

Bea:  To be honest with you Bella I hope the majority of the match is with us two as the legal wrestlers in the ring. With Bill having a height advantage over Malachi of six inches and a weight advantage over Malachi of 65 pounds having Bill and Malachi as the legal wrestlers in the match means we would have an extremely short match before we are declared the winners. Bill would defeat Malachi so quickly he would break the Sound Barrier and cause a sonic boom in the process. But with us two as the legal wrestlers in the ring we are more evenly matched, not in wrestling abilities, but in height and weight, so at least we are closer in size and weight than Bill and Malachi are. We’re the same height but I have five pounds more weight. Therefore the advantage is that I have outstanding wrestling skills, I’m quick in the ring, and I love to make opponents submit. Good luck, girl, you damn sure gonna need it!

Bea stands up from the chair and walks closer to the camera so they can get a close shot of her face.

Bea:  While I get along well with Bill as his Tag Team partner and he with me I don’t see where you two have much in common except an attitude of bragging about something you don’t possess. You two simply don’t mix. You two don’t meld together. You two are like polar opposites and that will cause your demise in our match. There are other things that also don’t mix. Oil and water don’t mix. Metal forks and electrical outlets don’t mix. Bathtubs and toasters don’t mix. Your face and a wall don’t mix. Super glue and your fingers don’t mix. The list goes on and on but at the top of the list is that Malachi and Bella don’t mix. Thanks to everyone who tuned in today to hear my comments on my upcoming match. Bye!

With the cue from Bea that her comments are over the cameraman cuts his camera feed. He did it so quickly that the Network was caught off guard and the screen goes black. It takes the Network about 30 seconds to switch over to a commercial break to fill the air time.



183
Climax Control Archives / NEXT VICTIM = TALLYN
« on: June 25, 2020, 11:23:11 AM »
 NEXT VICTIM. . .TALLYN

OFF CAMERA

We’re taken back to immediately after Bill Barnhart’s match against Austin James Mercer, for the Internet Championship, at Into the Void IX, on Sunday, June 7, 2020. We are taken to the backstage area where the room set up for Bill to use as his dressing room is located. As the cameraman gets a shot of Bill we see Bea holding an ice bag over the face of Bill and there is a bloody towel on Bill’s lap. After a video consultation with his family Physician, Doctor Kim, located in Duluth, Georgia, Bill was cleared to wrestle in his next match, a Fatal Four Way, against Kris Ryans, Griffin Hawkins, and O’Malley at Climax Control 271.

THE SCENE SHIFTS TO IMMEDIATELY AFTER BILL’S FATAL FOUR WAY MATCH AT CLIMAX CONTROL 271.

Bill:  Well I didn’t win the Fatal Four Way to earn that Open Contract for any Championship until the end of 2020 but I performed well considering I was coming off some brutal face shots against Austin James Mercer at Into the Void IX. Kris Ryans won the match and he’s well deserving of the win. I hope Kris uses that Open Contract wisely so he benefits the most from it.

Bea:  Do you know what that means Bill? It means that I’m gonna be the first between us to earn a Championship in Sin City Wrestling.

Bill:  However things turn out is fine with me. If you earn a Championship before I do the Championship is still in our family.

A SHORT TIME LATER AT THE HOTEL ROOM OF BILL AND BEA BARNHART AT THE SAXON HOTEL

Bea:  Bill I’ve been working with Iris on doing her version of Karaoke on a song that was popular in 1991.

Bill:  Oh, great, this I gotta see.

Bea:  You have to understand Iris can’t really sing but I dubbed lyrics over the music of the original song titled I’M TOO SEXY which was released by Right Said Fred. I taught Iris how to mouth the words even though she cannot sing the words and I also taught her how to shake her booty to the music.

Bill:  Something tells me I should have downed a six pack of beer before this performance.

Bea positions Iris in the middle of the room and hits the play button on the Karaoke machine. We hear the music from I’M TOO SEXY by Right Said Fred hit and we watch as Iris dances around to the music and moving her mouth as the lyrics Bea dubbed to the music for her starts to play.

Iris:

I’M. . .TOO. . .SEXY. . .

I’m too sexy for my collar
I’m too sexy for my leash
I’m too sexy for my dog food
I’m too sexy for my fleas

I’m too sexy for the Vet
I’m too sexy to be your pet
Because. . .

I’M. . .TOO. . .SEXY. . .

Iris is done with her performance and Bea turns the Karaoke machine off.

Bea:  Well?

Bill:  Could you go into the kitchen and bring out TWO six packs of beer? I need to drink the six pack of beer I should have downed before the performance of Iris and then drink the other six pack of beer to try to erase my memory of her performance. By the way, Iris, please don’t quit your day job because as you don’t have a future in the entertainment industry as  your performance shows.

Iris gives Daddy Bill a mean look at that insult so she turns around and struts into the bedroom to get away from his insults.

Bea:  Now you did it. You hurt her feelings.

Bill:  Iris will get over it. Won’t take more than the F-word, F-O-O-D to get her out of her depression.

Bill and Iris burst out laughing at the expense of Iris then we see Iris poke her head out from the bedroom because she heard the laughter. Iris then retreats back into the bedroom.

ON CAMERA

We are returned to the present where we see Bea Barnhart walking around where the ring is set up in the GO Gym which is where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 272. Bea is in her normal wrestling attire for this presentation. When Bea walks to where the bottom of the entrance ramp is she stops to present comments.

Bea:  I have a match at Climax Control 272 against some airhead named Tallyn. Before I direct my comments at Tallyn I want to address Violet Amelia Holt. You got lucky against Candy by accidentally setting her on fire in your Roulette match as the rules for that match was to set your opponent on fire for the win. Then your very first defense you lost the Championship. Very impressive. . . NOT!!!  Violet please ensure you watch my match against Tallyn so you’ll see and understand that I have more maneuvers and holds than those listed on my Bio Sheet. When we finally meet again I’ll deliver your fourth loss in our fourth match against each other and, yes, it will be by submission again. And, Violet, remember I was promised that if you lost the Roulette Championship I would get a shot at the Roulette Champion before you get a re-match. That means I’m gonna win the Roulette Championship and then you’ll likely get assigned against me as your rematch so you can lose the fourth time to me. Enough of talking to the person I defeated three times in three matches by submission.

Bea strolls across the floor to stand near one of the corners of the ring next to the ring steps.

Bea:  Tallyn just as my real name is Beatrice but everyone calls me Bea, which is pronounced like BAY AH and not like BEE, I’m pretty sure your real name isn’t Tallyn but a nickname you obtained as a kid. For example Bill had a nephew names James. Everyone in the family called him Jimmy. But since he had a habit of soiling his pants his classmates nicknamed him STINKY.  A classmate of Bill’s had to wear glasses when he was ten years old. He earned the nickname FOUR EYES which is a common tease for people who wear glasses. Bill told me his classmate went to the front of the classroom to sharpen his pencil with the pencil sharpener that was attached to the wall. When his classmate was done he turned the knocked the part of the pencil sharpener that holds the pencil shavings onto the floor and the shavings went everywhere. As his classmate was cleaning up the mess one of the other students yelled out DAMN! YOU GOT FOUR EYES AND STILL CAN’T SEE!!! So what is your reason for having the name Tallyn? I’m assuming you were a typical bratty girl who thought she knew everything and that you told on everyone you thought was doing something wrong. Where I grew up in the Philippines the term for someone who felt the need to tell on everyone was being a TATTLE TALE.  I have a mental image of you telling the other kids, when you saw them doing something you felt you had to inform an adult about, OOOOOO! I’M TELLIN’!!! I also visualize the other kids calling you TALLYN as a taunt for always telling on them.

Bea cannot hold back her laughter at what she just said about Tallyn. After she gets her laugh out she regains her composure. Bea walks up the ring steps and then ducks through the ropes into the ring.

Bea:  This is the ring where I’ll destroy you Tallyn. I don’t give a damn if all your friends in Sin City Wrestling think you’re great and talented. I know you are not as great as me and not as talented as I am. If you come into our match over-confident so be it. If you come into our match scared and intimidated so be it. If you try to hire interference to screw me out of the win so be it. Those who support me are glad to step in and stop interference on behalf of my opponents. Just be ready for me to walk away the winner as I’m not gonna lose to a whiny so-called entitled bitch like you.

Bea exits the ring and heads to the table where the color commentators present their comments during matches. Bea sits in one of the chairs and looks into the camera.

Bea:  Tallyn this is where Jason Adams and Belinda Simone will comment on our match. Other than them commenting how awesome I am and how pathetic you are they probably won’t have much else to talk about. After the Ring Announcer presents my win over you there will be cheering in the GO Gym like you haven’t heard before. I’m the future of this company so you damn sure need to get used to that. I’m done with my comments for this session. Bill told me to meet him in an event room at the Saxon Hotel as he has a presentation for me so I’ll pick up on my comments in a little bit.

AFTER A SHORT TIME THE SCENE COMES INTO FOCUS AT AN EVENT ROOM IN THE SAXON HOTEL

Bea enters the event room inside the Saxon Hotel. She is greeted by Senor Vinnie and he escorts Bea to a table near the stage. Bea asks Vinnie what’s going on but he tells her to wait and enjoy the show. The Emcee walks up to the mic on the stage to address the audience.

Emcee:  Ladies and gentlemen thank you for coming to the event room today. We have a special presentation for a very special lady. Without further delay I present to you Bill Barnhart!!!

Bill Barnhart walks out from the backstage area and he walks up to the mic.

Bill:  Bea you are an exceptional woman and I see great things for you in Sin City Wrestling including earning Championships. Since you caught the attention of my heart, and we fell in love, and I asked you to marry me, I wanted to give you a special presentation of a song by Frankie Valli titled CAN’T TAKE MY EYES OFF YOU.

The music hits and Bill launches into the song.

You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
You'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much

At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you

Pardon the way that I stare
There's nothing else to compare
The sight of you leaves me weak
There are no words left to speak

But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it's real
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you

I love you, baby
And if it's quite alright, I need you, baby
To warm a lonely night, I love you, baby
Trust in me when I say

Oh, pretty baby
Don't bring me down, I pray, oh pretty baby
Now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby
Let me love you

You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
You'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much

At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you

Bill’s performance is over and the people in the event room give him a standing ovation. Bea rushes up on stage and throws her arms around Bill’s neck and the two enjoy a firm hug and passionate kiss. They walk off the stage to join Senor Vinnie at their table.

Bea:  Oh, Bill, that was so sweet! Thanks for always letting me know I’m the most special girl in your life.

Bill:  Don’t let Iris hear you say that as she thinks she is the most special girl in my life.

Bill, Bea, and Vinnie, enjoy a laugh at the expense of Iris.

Bill:  I’m looking forward to you easily defeating Tallyn and sending her back to the bottom of the ladder so she’ll have to work her way back up to where she is going into your match.

Bea:  Tallyn is another in a long line of those like Violet Amelia Holt who came out of the same mold. They get put together, they get an attitude, they are arrogant, but they can’t back it up, and they can’t defeat me. I back up everything I say.

Bill:  Tallyn would have to be the luckiest person on the planet to get a win over you.

Bea:  Tallyn you think you’re it. You think you’re the future of Sin City Wrestling. I’m here to tell you that you’re nothing but the equivalent of a filthy Cockroach I’ll squish under my wrestling boots. You want to talk about being lucky in order to get a win over me? Well, Tallyn, let me tell you how lucky you would need to be to defeat me. You would have to be so lucky that you would find the winning Super Lotto Ticket on the sidewalk every day for 30 days. You would have to be so lucky that you would go to a Casino and hit the highest jackpot on one particular slot machine 100 times in a row. And, finally, you would have to be lucky enough to catch a Leprechaun every day for 30 days straight and take his pot of gold away from him each time. Good luck with that.

Senor Vinnie:  Bea since you are Bill’s Manager, and you also serve as Manager for the Tag Team I have with Bill, do you plan on being in my corner at my match against Jack Washington?

Bea:  Thanks for asking Vinnie but I will only be at matches as Manager when Bill is performing or when you and Bill are performing as a Tag Team. You have Pete the Cactus in your corner and he’s quite capable of keeping an eye on your matches.

The three continue their conversation as the cameraman informs the Network he is going to place his camera into a fade to black so they will be ready to switch programming once the scene fades out.

The scene slowly fades to black and the Network cuts to regularly scheduled programming.


184
Climax Control Archives / I Have a Target On My Back
« on: June 18, 2020, 11:26:36 AM »
 I HAVE A TARGET ON MY BACK

OFF CAMERA

We are taken to the dressing room of Bill Barnhart immediately after his match against Austin James Mercer, for the Internet Championship, at Into the Void IX, on Sunday, June 7, 2020. We get a shot of Bill and we see Bea holding an ice bag over his face and there is a bloody towel on Bill’s lap.

Bea:  Are you sure you’re okay? You took some heavy blows to the face in your match with Austin James Mercer.

Bill:  You know the saying Bea. If you think I look bad you should look at my opponent. I gave Austin as much, if not more, punishment than he gave me. I’ll be fine. The Doctor at the Arena said I have no broken bones but I do have several busted blood vessels. Bleeding from the nose is always more dramatic than the actual injury. I’ve had worse damage done to me by my half-brother Chris Shipman. This is nothing compared to what my pathetic piece of shit half-brother did to me. Just a bit hard for me to breathe with blood vessels in my nose busted and blood oozing into my nose and down my chin.

Bea:  Let me remove the ice pack to check how you’re doing.

Bea removes the ice pack and looks over the nose and face of Bill. We see Bill’s nose is bruised and swollen.

Bea:  Take a deep breath then exhale several times.

Bill does as he is told and he starts doing breathing exercises.

Bill:  In with the good air. . .and out with the bad air. *inhale* *exhale* *honk* *snort*  *inhale* *exhale* *honk* *snort**inhale* *exhale* *honk* *snort* Damn! Looks like we have more work to do to stop the bleeding and get rid of the clogs.

Bea:  We’ll get it under control shortly. Good thing we’re not at a lake with Geese or they may take your honking for a mating call.

Bill:  Very funny Bea! Although I lost the match against Austin James Mercer I always give credit to others when it is due. Mercer performed well in our match and I came up short. He got the win and retained the Internet Championship. I never get upset when an opponent wins as long as they didn’t cheat or have interference in the match. There’s more Championship matches coming my way in my future. Let’s get our stuff and return to the hotel.

Bill, Bea, and Iris their English Bulldog, gather their things and walk out of the room that served as their dressing room and head out to return to their hotel room.

ON CAMERA

I HAVE A TARGET ON MY BACK

>

After leaving the graphic up for a time the Network removes the graphic from the screen and we again get a shot of Bill Barnhart.

Bill:  Wow! The Queen for the Day came up with a great match between myself, Kris Ryans, Griffin Hawkins, and O’Malley. Let me start with you Kris. When you came out of retirement you were scheduled against me in a match on April 24, 2020, at Climax Control 266. You felt you were going to make quick work of me and walk away the winner. Do you remember that match Kris or have you conveniently taken enough drugs to wipe your mind clear of that match? Whether you remember what happened in that match or not I’m gonna remind you what happened. You returned to wrestling sooner than you should have after going into retirement from an injury. The match ended when I placed you in my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold and defeated you by submission. But, Kris, I’m not a total asshole as I pay attention and I know what’s going on in Sin City Wrestling. After your loss to me it was a wakeup call for you. Since I defeated you I’ve noticed you’ve worked harder, and focused more, and have won several matches since our match. I opened my comments by stating I know I have a target on my back. I know you are aiming at that target because you know how easily I can defeat you. I’m okay with having a target on my back and having people aim at that target. But, Kris, as with our first match on April 24, 2020, I’ll defeat you again. Whether I directly defeat you by pinfall or submission, or I defeat Hawkins or O’Malley, the end result remains that I’m the one to get the win in the Fatal Four Way match and the three of you take a loss. Be ready for anything and everything Kris as I damn sure plan on winning this match!

Bea:  This match is going to be the match that catapults Bill to the top of the rankings in all Divisions.

Bill:  The next person I wish to address is Griffin Hawkins. Griffin you know when I came into Sin City Wrestling I asked for a match against you as I had three wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling I felt if I could face them it would be a dream match for me. If you remember the three wrestlers were you, Fenris, and Casey Williams. Only you and Fenris accepted my challenge but Casey chickened out. Go back to my match with Fenris. I took Fenris to his limits. Yes I lost the match to him but he didn’t cheat to win so I congratulated him on his victory. The same applies to you Hawkins. Our match was for the Roulette Championship you held at that time. The match was on October 20, 2019, at High Stakes IX. If you remember it was a Steel Cage Match. Just as I did with Fenris and Kris Ryans, I took you to your limit. I commended you on your ability to get the win over me as you did it cleanly and you retained the Roulette Championship. Although you’ve had success previously it seems recently you’ve experienced many failures. Of the four wrestlers in our match I see you as the weakest. Sorry to have to let you know that I’ve gone from having ultimate respect for you to not feeling the excitement of you any longer. I’m winning our match at Climax Control 271 and the three of you can sit in your dressing rooms licking your wounds while I walk away with an Open Contract to challenge for any Championship until the end of 2020.

Bea:  I echo your comments that Hawkins has dropped in performance and support of the fans. He’s about to lose more fan support after you win this match.

Bill and Bea take a drink break with Bill downing a Classic Coke and Bea downing a can of Corona Hard Cider.

Bill:  Love my Classic Coke!

Bea:  Love my Corona Hard Cider Mango! The Mango flavor brings back memories from when I lived in the Philippines.

After the two finish their drinks their comments continue.

Bill:  Now I come to my comments on the final person I’m facing in this upcoming match. O’Malley I’m not sure where to start so I’ll let my comments flow however they come out. You’ve been fairly successful in the wrestling ring and I have to put you as the second most capable wrestler in our match after myself. Ryans would be the third most capable and Hawkins brings up the rear being the least capable in our match. Now, O’Malley, before you get an inflated ego, that requires you to run out and purchase hats two sizes larger, you need to hear me out. Yes you’ve experienced a certain level of success, if you call winning matches by having Darcy interfere in your matches as success, so you are somewhat of a challenge. But although you seem to be unable to win matches without the help of Darcy you need to know that Darcy will not be able to save your ass in our match. Bea will you take over comments at this point?

Bea:  Darcy, Darcy, Darcy, I’ve watched you work in the corner of O’Malley and I have to make the comment that it makes a man look pathetic when he cannot win a wrestling match unless his Manager or Valet or Wife or Girlfriend, interferes in the match. I’ve seen you attack his opponents when the Referee wasn’t looking. I’ve seen you use substances prohibited in the sport of wrestling to disable O’Malley’s opponents. Before you get your mean girl smirk on let me inform you of how things are going down at this match. I’m in Bill’s corner as his Manager. I’ll also have Iris with me. Since Iris is in Bill’s corner with me there is an outside chance Pete the Cactus will also be in Bill’s corner as he does have a crush on Iris. No, Darcy, please don’t try to make the claim that me and Iris, and possibly Pete, will interfere in the match. We never have to resort to chickenshit interference like you and O’Malley have to do in order to win a match. We’re in Bill’s corner to prevent interference and you need to realize if you try anything in this match I’ll bitch slap you so hard they’ll hear that bitch slap on the Moon. I give the comments back to you Bill.

Bill:  Oh, my, a male wrestler who has to rely on interference from his woman in order to win matches sure take a man from masculine to castrated in a flash. You know the rules of a Fatal Four Way Match right O’Malley? First wrestler to obtain a pinfall or submission in the match is the winner. It doesn’t matter if the pinfall or submission I get is on Ryans, Hawkins, or you, I win the match and you three take a loss on your record. I’ll walk away with the win and the Open Contract to challenge for any Championship until the end of 2020. Gonna be tons of fun for me to walk around with an Open Contract to challenge for any Championship whenever I want. I can’t wait to see how the Champions look at me when I walk by never knowing if they’ll be the Champion I challenge.

Bea:  Before we close this session I want to remind you to tell the viewers what happened to you at Skyline High School when you wanted to try out for the Track Team. I feel it is important for everyone to know that just because others snub you or ignore you that it has no effect on your performance and success.

Bill:  Thanks for the reminder.  I wish to inform Kris Ryans, Griffin Hawkins, and O’Malley of what happens when I’m taken lightly. When I attended Skyline High School in Oakland, California, I was known for being one of the top three fastest runners in the school when it came to the 50, 100, and 200 Meter races and in the top three in the Long Jump. Although these races and Long Jump were conducted during normal Gym Class, and not on the Varsity Team, I made it a point to remain after school so I could show the Coaches, and members of Varsity Track Team, what I was capable of. I spent 30 days remaining at school, after regular school time was over, running and jumping and asking the Coaches to consider me for the Varsity Team.

Bea:  Tell them what happened.

Bill:  At the time I went to Skyline High School there were 2,500 students in the school so being in the top three for anything was amazing. I remained after school for 30 days working hard to have the Coaches, and Varsity Track Team members, watch me, and take notice of me, in the running and jumping events. Did they pay attention to me? Nah! The Varsity Track Team was nothing more than a social club where if you were an athlete, but not friends or relative with one or more of the Coaches or Track Team members, they ignored you. You simply got on the team due to friendships and not based on your abilities. After 30 days of being ignored by Coaches and Track Team members I walked away and never looked back. I figured it was their loss to not have one of the top three fastest runners and one of the top three longest jumpers on their Track Team.

Bea: What happened next?

Bill:  Instead of continuing to try to get the attention of Coaches at Skyline High School I entered events sponsored by the City of Oakland, Alameda County, and the State of California. In those events in the 50, 100, and 200 Meters races, and in Long Jump competitions, I constantly scored in the top three, City-wide, County-wide, and State-wide. It was only when the Coaches and Track Team members at Skyline High School saw my accomplishments that they came to me to beg me to join the Skyline High School Varsity Track Team. I gave them the middle finger, told them to f*ck off, and walked away. Why did I tell you this? Just like the Coaches and Varsity Track Team members took me lightly so you three are taking me lightly. In our match I’m gonna out-perform and outshine you and walk away the winner. I will not ask if you three have questions for me because you already know what my answer will be and the answer is that I’ll win our match and walk away with the Open Contract for any Championship I want! And Kris, Griffin, and O’Malley, I have the target on my back in this match because I’m the best wrestler in our match and you three are aiming at the target. Sorry but your aim is off, you missed the target, and I walk away the winner. Bea is there anything else you wish to add to our comments before we close this session?

Bea:  Well, yes, I do have, but I’m not sure if this is the time and place to talk about it.

Bill:  When a person has something on their mind they need to state it while it is fresh on their mind. What’s on your mind Bea?

Bea:  Remember when I was on Twitter recently and made a comment why, if I defeated Violet Amelia Holt three times, in three matches, all by submission, why I wasn’t assigned to face her for the Bombshell Roulette Championship at Climax Control 271?

Bill:  Yes.

Bea:  I posted that comment just to air out what was on my mind. I wasn’t expecting the response I received. I did expect sarcastic catty comments from the other Bombshells but the response I received from Mark Ward was a surprise.

Bill:  This is getting interesting.

Bea:  Mark Ward said the match for Climax Control 271 was already scheduled by the Queen for the Day and I was not included in that match. He went on to state if Violet Amelia Holt retains the Bombshell Roulette Championship at Climax Control 271 he’ll assign me to a match against Violet for the Championship but with a twist.

Bill:  The twist being?

Bea:  Since I bragged about defeating Violet three times by submission I would be assigned to a Bombshell Roulette Championship match against her but I can only win by submission. The twist is that Violet can win and retain the Championship by any means. That puts a short leash on me but I’ll be fine and will still win the match.

Bill:  Did he state what would happen if Violet does not retain the Championship at Climax Control 271?

Bea:  Yes and it was an interesting decision. He said if Violet fails to retain the Championship at Climax Control 271 that I’ll be assigned to face whoever is the Bombshell Roulette Champion before Violet receives her rematch for losing the Championship. I wasn’t trying to push for anything with that Tweet I was simply airing out my thoughts.

Bill:  What that shows me is Management has taken notice of you and they want to see how capable you are and how far you can go. Thanks for letting us hear that information. For my opponents I’ll close with comments based on the fact that Climax Control 271 is taking place at the GO Gym. With the word GO in mind Kris you should GO back into retirement. Griffin you need to GO back to the Development Division until you can get yourself back up to speed. And for you, O’Malley, you need to GO back to being able to wrestle without interference from Darcy. With that said we’re done with our comments and we will see everyone at the GO Gym on Sunday, June 21, 2020, at Climax Control 271.

Bea informs the cameraman they are done with their comments. The cameraman cuts his feed and our screen goes black.


185
Supercard Archives / Austin James Mercer V Bill Barnhart
« on: June 02, 2020, 11:28:14 AM »
 YOU NEED TO LIVE IN THE NOW. . .NOT IN THE PAST OR THE FUTURE

OFF CAMERA

A scene comes on showing Bill Barnhart as a young boy in the backyard of his home where he grew up in Oakland, California. He and his father, Navy Chief Petty Officer William Barnhart, are having a discussion.

Bill:  Dad I want to be a police officer, fireman, or professional wrestler when I grow up.

William:  Son you need to live in the NOW and not in the past and not in the future.

Bill:  But shouldn’t we look toward the future and start planning for what we want to do?

William:  What I meant by my comment to live in the NOW and not in the past or future is that you cannot change the past as you can only learn from the past. You cannot predict the future so you waste time looking far off into the distance only to find out the things you wanted to become or accomplish are not around any longer or you changed your concept of what you want to accomplish. If you stay in the NOW, and work on what you’re doing now,  the other things will fall into place.

Bill:  Okay. Thanks.

William:  Before you run off to play let me tell you a story. When I was growing up we all wanted to be a fireman or police officer. None of us walked around stating we wanted to be a teacher, or a trash collector, or even a Sailor in the United States Navy. Even with me looking into the future it was the NOW that caught me. The Vietnam War was raging and the Draft to forcibly enlist people into the Military was in full swing. I took that NOW moment and realized I needed to take immediate action. I knew if I waited I would probably be drafted into the Army and end up as Infantry in Vietnam getting my ass shot at. What I did was to go to the Navy Recruiting office in downtown Oakland and enlist in the Navy. Here I am today as a Chief Petty Officer in the United States Navy. When I joined the Navy I figured it was just going to be a four year, or shorter, enlistment due to the Vietnam War. But the war came to an end and I enjoyed my work in the Navy so I remained on Active Duty in the Navy to see what might happen. I kept plugging along and kept getting promoted and now I’m at the Chief Petty Officer level. I hope to make it to Master Chief Petty Officer and retire from the Military soon. So, son, always take the NOW and make the best of it. Don’t get caught up with the past or future and in the process totally ignore the NOW. You never know what will be so accept the NOW and work with it and in the end what you are supposed to be and what you are supposed to accomplish will come to be.

Bill:  Wow! Heavy stuff Dad! Thank!

ON CAMERA

Narrator:  There’s a saying that goes IT IS NOW OR NEVER and today Bill Barnhart will be discussion the NOW of things.

The scene comes into focus at the Golden Ring Casino . We see Bill Barnhart standing near the wrestling ring where he’ll face off against Austin James Mercer for the Internet Championship at Into the Void IX. Bill is wearing attire much different than we normally see him wear. Barnhart is usually very casual in his attire but for his presentation today he is wearing a light gray casual business suit, black dress shoes, a white dress shirt, but he is not wearing a tie.

Bill Barnhart:  There is a saying that goes IT IS NOT WHAT YOU KNOW THAT MATTERS, IT IS HOW YOU DO IT THAT COUNTS.  There is another saying  that goes IT IS NOW OR NEVER.  And there is a third saying that goes <ii>YOU NEED TO LIVE IN THE NOW. . .NOT IN THE PAST OR THE FUTURE. I’m going to discuss those three concepts today.

Bill walks around the ring one time and returns to where he started his comments.

Bill Barnhart:  Many wrestlers tend to only talk about what they have done in the past. What anyone has done in the past, although it is forever in the history books, has no bearing on the here and now except to let people know what you once were able to accomplish. What is happening now is what is important. How you perform now is what is important. What you did yesterday, last week, two weeks ago, a month ago, a year ago, or years ago, is not relevant to what is now.

Bill climbs the ring steps and ducks into the ring. He crosses the ring several times rebounding off the ropes until he stops in the middle of the ring.

Bill Barnhart:  This is the wrestling ring where I will face off against, and defeat, Austin James Mercer, to become the next Sin City Wrestling Internet Champion.

Bill walks to a corner and exits the ring. He walks down the ring steps then walks over to the table where the commentators present their comments on the matches. Bill takes a seat at the table.

Bill Barnhart:  This is what you are going to hear on Sunday, April 7, 2020, at Into The Void IX. You’ll hear the announcers announce LADIES AND GENTLEMEN HERE IS YOUR WINNER OF THIS MATCH, AND THE NEW SIN CITY WRESTLING INTERNET CHAMPION, BILL BARNHART!!!

Bill stands up from the announcing table and walks to stand in front of the ring where he will face off against Austin James Mercer for the Internet Championship.

Bill:  Austin I wish to present some concepts for you to take into consideration. While I discuss these items the people working the broadcast studio will place on the screen an appropriate graphic to illustrate my point. Are you ready? Even if you’re not ready you’re still gonna get my presentation. Austin from what I’ve observed you think you’re like the monster Godzilla. You think you are big and strong and indestructible. Although Godzilla was a pretty good monster there was one monster he was not able to defeat and that was Mothra. Even during those times when Godzilla was able to inflict damage on Mothra in the end Mothra’s children hatched and attacked and took out Godzilla. I am Mothra to your Godzilla. You see, Austin, although you’ll bring all you’ve got to our Internet Championship match I’ll cut you so-called Godzilla self down to where you are so small and insignificant you will look like the Geico Insurance Company Gecko.

>



Bill:  The best case scenario is to put your opponent’s King in check to where no matter where the King moves it is still in check. That’s called a CHECKMATE as your opponent has no moves left while their King is in check. I’m the brilliant Chess player and you’re the novice who’ll make mistake after mistake after mistake until you have lost more than fifty percent of your wrestling abilities, which is the same as losing a majority of your Chess pieces, while I still have the majority of mine. Simple stated:  CHECKMATE!  You lose!

Bea picks up the Chess board and Chess pieces and places them in a box. She excuses herself and she calls Iris to join her as she returns the Chess equipment to the other room. Once Bea and Iris are out of sight Bill continue with his comments.

Bill:  Well, Austin, it won’t be long before we step into the wrestling ring, I defeat you, and I’m crowned as Sin City Wrestling’s Internet Champion. I know what you’re thinking and that is you will try to make the bogus claim that you  are the greatest wrestler around and there’s no way I can defeat you. You are likely to make the claim of defeating a few of the top name wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling who other wrestlers were not able to defeat. You are free to make that claim, Austin, but I counter your claim with the statement that EVEN A BLIND SQUIRREL FINDS AN ACORN OCCASIONALLY.  The fact that you got a few lucky wins over other wrestlers doesn’t mean you’ll get a lucky win over me.

There is a commotion from the other room and when Bill looks over, and the cameraman focuses his camera in that direction, we see Bea Barnhart and their English Bulldog Iris, run out of the other room, into the main area of the hotel room, and both are dressed as Cheerleaders and both have pom poms to go with their outfits.

Bill:  Uh, Bea, what in the world are you two doing? I know you always think I do odd things and now you and Iris are coming on camera as Cheerleaders?

Bea:  We’re here as Cheerleaders to cheer you on in your match against Austin James Mercer for the Internet Championship. And, no, you don’t get to stop us from our Cheerleader performance. Ready to do this Iris?

Iris:  Woof!

Bea and Iris start dancing and jumping around and waving their pom poms while Bea gives the cheer.

TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT!
WHO WILL BILL ANIHILATE?
AUSTIN JAMES MERCER!
AUSTIN JAMES MERCER!
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Bea:  Well?

Bill:  And to think I get teased for some of the stuff I do and say. Thanks for the cheer. Now please get changed back to normal.

Bea:  Okay. But don’t be surprised if I show up as Manager for your match against Mercer for the Internet Championship dressed as a Cheerleader and so does Iris.

Bea and Iris run into the other room and quickly change back to normal attire and return into the main area of the hotel room and take seats on the couch with Bill. We notice when Bea returned into the room she was holding a small piece of paper in her hand.

Bill:  Whatcha got in your hand Bea? Your congratulations speech you’ll give after I defeat Austin James Mercer and become the newly crowned Sin City Wrestling Internet Champion?

Bea:  Nope! It is a prescription I’m giving to Mercer for his match with you. It not only contains the ingredient BILL BARNHART it also gives the side effects of having a match against you. Want to know what the side effects are?

Bill:  Sure. This should be amusing.

Bea begins reading the side effects on the prescription.

Bea:  Warning. Having a match against Bill Barnhart may contain some, or all, of the following side effects. Black eyes, bleeding mouth, cuts, scratches, bruises, concussion, and possibly dislocated or broken body parts. Accept this prescription by stepping in the ring against Bill Barnhart cautiously, make sure your medical insurance is current, and consult with your Doctor before stepping into the ring.

Bill:  Just when I thought I’ve heard everything. Speaking of hearing everything I’d like to direct some comments to Austin James Mercer. Austin I find it extremely amusing and revealing when an opponent cannot think of anything intelligent to say to me, or about me, so they result to calling me names like kids do in Elementary School. They would call the kid with glasses FOUR EYES. They would call the short kid an ELF or DWARF. They would call the not-so-good-looking kids ugly and that they look like a Troll. The other insults were even more pathetic. You know the ones like YOUR MOTHER WEARS ARMY BOOTS or YOUR MOTHER HAS A MUSTACHE. So here’s the deal Austin. Are you honestly that pathetic, and that scared knowing I’ll defeat you for the Internet Championship, that all you can do is stand before the camera and hurl lame insults at me? I stood before the camera, with my comments aired to millions of viewers, and I talked about my wrestling career, my abilities in the wrestling ring, and how I stood up to not only my half-brother Chris Shipman but to Satan also. The only reason I talked you down is that you don’t deserve to have others talk you up.

Bea:  Well stated Bill.

Bill:  Well, Austin, I’ve run down everything I needed to run down leading up to our match. Very early in my wrestling career I worked a short time in a Mexican wrestling federation. As you know most wrestlers in Mexico wear a mask as they don’t see wrestling as an honorable sport as we do in the United States. One of the benefits of wearing a mask, other than hiding your true identity from your family and friends while wrestling, is that you can hide a lot of the facial features that usually indicate you are in fear or pain or both. But your eyes are showing through the mask and one thing humans cannot do is hide the fear their eyes show. I quickly learned to know how my opponents were doing by reading their eyes. Watch you spew forth your nonsense leading up to our match I could read the fear and hesitation in your eyes. When any wrestler enters a match with only a small percentage of hesitation and doubt they have lost the match before the match starts. Never once in my wrestling career have I come into a match where I had doubt on my mind and our match is no different. Your time as Internet Champion is over on Sunday, June 7, 2020, at Into the Void IX. Have a nice day Mercer! Ha ha ha!!!

Bea informs the cameraman this presentation is done. The cameraman calls into the Network to let them know this information. They ask him to wait until they give him the signal to cut his camera feed and he waits. After a short time they tell him to cut his camera feed and he does and our screen goes black.


186
Supercard Archives / Austin James Mercer V Bill Barnhart
« on: May 28, 2020, 04:50:37 PM »
 F*CK YOU

OFF CAMERA

BILL BARNHART WAS CHEATED OUT OF ADDITIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS DURING HIS TIME IN ASYLUM WRESTLING ALLIANCE

We take you back ten years when Bill Barnhart worked in Asylum Wrestling Alliance. This incident took place toward the end of his time working with Asylum Wrestling Alliance. During the many years Bill worked there he earned the Triple Crown and Grand Slam so many times the other wrestlers were jealous. They complained that Barnhart was so successful earning Championships, and Triple Crowns and Grand Slams, that the only way Management, and others in the Federation, could prevent Bill from achieving more Triple Crown and Grand Slam awards was to conspire and resort to retiring some of the Championships and replacing them with other Championships. This happened when Bill was one Championship away from yet another Triple Crown or Grand Slam. By taking the Championship out of play, replacing it with another one, then refusing to assign Barnhart to matches for a chance to earn the new Championship to earn another Triple Crown or Grand Slam, they effectively shut him out by not even giving him a chance.

Bill:  Listen up! You in Management are bowing to the pressure of jealous wrestlers who are unable to earn the Triple Crown and Grand Slam. Instead instead of making them earn their Triple Crown and Grand Slam you change to rules to deny me. I will not tolerate this discrimination!

AWA Management:  I don’t know what you’re talking about. All we did was retire the Television Championship and replace it with a Championship with a different name. That means someone wanting to earn the Triple Crown can do it by winning the new Championship and two others and to earn the Grand Slam they would have to win all four Championships. What’s your problem with that?

Bill:  What’s my problem with that? Are you serious? The problem is I’m the most successful wrestler in this Federation and I’ve won the Triple Crown and Grand Slam four times. Now that you retired the Television Championship and replaced it with another Championship you refuse to sign me for matches involving the new Championship. You know damn well I’ve earned the other three Championships and I only need the new one for my fifth Grand Slam. By you denying me a chance at that one Championship, while you allow everyone else including the permanent jobbers in the company, is flat out discrimination!

AWA Management:  If you want to continue to work here in Asylum Wrestling Alliance you need to accept the way things are. You might get a shot at the new Championship some day but not any time soon.

Bill:  What? F*ck you! I’m done with you and the wrestlers in this Federation! I’ll finish out my Contract with your company and then I’m walking away!

Put yourself in Bill’s shoes and ask yourself how you would feel and how you would react if they cheated you out of additional Championships for no other reason than everyone, including Management, were jealous of your success? Come on! Be honest! How the hell would you feel? Would you have a warm fuzzy feeling and a smile on your face and accept you were being discriminated against for being more successful than others in the Federation? If you say YES you’re a *bleeping* liar! You’d have reacted the same way Barnhart reacted back in his Asylum Wrestling Alliance days. He walked around flipping off those who screwed him out of earning more championships, more Triple Crowns, and more Grand Slams.

When someone who screwed Barnhart out of chances at championships happened to pass by Bill would, in addition to flipping them the middle finger, would tell them f*ck you! and continue walking away.

IRIS GETS GROOMED AND CUT TO THE QUICK

A scene comes on the screen where Bill and his English Bulldog Iris are at their home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. This situation took place before the Corona virus quarantine thing went into effect. We see Iris sitting on a towel on the Living Room floor. We see Bill on his knees and in one hand he has nail clippers for trimming the nails of Iris. The look on the face of Iris indicates she doesn’t enjoy having her nails clipped.

Bill:  How’s my baby girl Iris? Are you ready for a nail clipping?

Iris cocks her head and gives Daddy Bill a look that screams out WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT DADDY? Even though Iris is hesitant we watch as Bill reaches out and grabs one of the front paws of Iris and he gently caresses her foot to calm her down. Bill then takes the nail clippers and starts to trim her nails. Iris is doing well considering she is usually a butthead over things like baths and nail trimming. Bill finishes that paw and he takes the other paw of Iris in his hand. He has only one nail left to trim on that paw when Iris flinches causing her nail to push toward Bill at the exact time he is clipping her nail. This causes too much of the nail to be cut and it has caused the term CUT TO THE QUICK which means a dog’s nail was trimmed too short and hit the blood vessel and nerve inside the nail, also called the quick, and the nail of Iris is bleeding.

Iris:  *bark* *snarl* *growl*

Bill:  I’m sorry Iris but you shoved your paw forward just as I was cutting your nail and it caused me to cut too far and I hit the blood vessel and nerve in your toenail. Sorry, Iris, I’ll fix this for you.

Iris continues to whine but she seems to be more scared than physically in pain and the bleeding toenail doesn’t help her calm down. Bill tries to stop the bleeding but not having success yet.

Bill:  Sorry but applying pressure to your toenail doesn’t seem to be working quickly enough so I have to try the next thing on the list.

Bill reaches into his pocket and pulls out a styptic pencil that he has available if he nicks himself while shaving. The styptic pencil works well as it has aluminum sulfate which quickly causes the bleeding to stop. However the side effect of the aluminum sulfate is that chemical causes pain when it comes in contact with a cut.

Bill dips the styptic pencil in warm water and he approaches Iris with it. Iris tries to pull her paw away but Bill holds her still and dabs the styptic pencil on her bleeding nail. Iris yelps from the pain from the aluminum sulfate but after a short time the bleeding stops, Bill cleans the paw of Iris, and Iris is back to her normal self which means begging for food.

SOME DOGS ARE ASSHOLES. . .SO ARE THEIR OWNERS

We see Bill Barnhart taking his English Bulldog Iris on a walk in his housing development in Lawrenceville, Georgia. This event took place a year ago. Bill has Iris on a leash and they are walking down their street then they turn right on a side street. When they pass the fifth house on the right the owners of the house come out with their Pit Bull dog, named King on a leash. Even when King was a puppy he was an asshole going off on every dog in the neighborhood. Not too long ago a woman on the other side of Bill’s housing development was walking her two dogs. While she was walking her dogs the owner of King walked up that street. King, being an asshole, pulled so hard that he ripped the leash out of his owner’s hand and he charged the woman with her two dogs. The story the woman told was that she was unable to react quick enough to protect her two dogs and King bit them so badly that the total Veterinarian bill for emergency surgery on her two dogs to save their lives was $5,000. When asked if she sued the owners of King she replied that her and her husband are animal lovers. They said since the owners of King failed to keep him under control they should be prosecuted and made to pay the bills for the emergency surgery of their two dogs. But, she said, they discussed it and realized that the police department and justice system would punish King, and not his owners, and then he will be euthanized. They didn’t want King to get punished due to his owner’s stupidity.

Due to that incident with King nearly killing the two dogs of the woman in their housing development Bill is holding the leash of Iris in one hand and length of metal pipe in his other hand. He has done this since the incident with the woman and her dogs to make sure Iris doesn’t end up being attacked like the two dogs were. When the owners of King walked out of their house and King saw Iris he immediately got aggressive and tried to pull away from his owners to attack Iris.

Owners of King:  Why the f*ck you waving a metal pipe at King? He’s a good dog and wouldn’t harm anyone!

Bill:  What? I heard the story where you were walking King on the other side of our housing development. A friend of mine who lives on that side of the development said she was walking her two small dogs and King got extremely aggressive, charged her and her two dogs, pulling the leash out of your hands. King, being aggressive, attacked her dogs and nearly killed them. She told me the attack on her two dogs by King caused her a $5,000 Veterinarian bill for emergency surgery to save the lives of her dogs. If you allow King to get loose from you again, and he attacks me and Iris, I’ll whack his scull in. And for damn sure if you attack me for protecting myself and Iris then your skulls will be whacked in also. If you have a problem with the fact that you cannot control King and he attacks others then I will call Gwinnett Police and have you arrested. What’s it gonna be? Huh?

Owners of King:  Okay. We get it. You see we no longer have King on a rope leash as he is now on a heavy duty chain. Only myself and my husband walk him as our daughters are not big enough to control him. I promise you we will not allow King to go off on you or Iris.

Bill:  I think King needs a to attend a school of hard knocks obedience training to get him to chill . I will not stop carrying this metal pipe for protection until you can prove to me King is no longer a threat.

Bill turns and starts walking away from the family with King. He pulls on the leash to get Iris to get moving with him. Bill walks down the street grumbling to himself and promising he will protect Iris with all he’s got.

ON CAMERA

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart is sick of hearing insults from other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling, from the fans, and from the media, that he’s ready to tell everyone off. So without further delay I  turn you over to Bill Barnhart to give it to you straight up.

The scene comes into focus with Bill Barnhart sitting at a desk in the broadcast studio at the Golden Ring Casino which is the venue where Sin City Wrestling will be holding their Into The Void IX event. Bill is overly casual in his attire today by wearing khaki shorts, black athletic shoes, and a black pull-over shirt. He looks into the camera to talk to the viewers.

Bill:  I’m here to give it to you straight. I’m Sin City Wrestling’s Internet Champion! Okay I admit, that as of this date and time, I’m not yet the Internet Champion. But for damn sure I’ll be Internet Champion on Sunday, June 7, 2020, at Into the Void IX, when I defeat Austin James Mercer. Austin I’m sick of you, those like you, and the disrespectful fans who support you. Let me start by telling you, Mercer, that I’m not the only person, entity, or thing, that detests you and flips you the middle finger. I’m going to have the Techs in the broadcast studio put up several graphics, one at a time, to show you that everyone, and everything, dislikes you and flips you off. Could you start running the graphics for me please?

>

Bill:  So, Austin, will you claim you’ll out-wrestle me? I DON’T THINK SO! HOMEY DON’T PLAY DAT! Will you claim you’ll physically hurt me in our match? I DON’T THINK SO! HOMEY DON’T PLAY DAT! Do you think you can defeat me and remain as the Internet Champion? I DON’T THINK SO! HOMEY DON’T PLAY DAT! No matter what you think, no matter what you claim, no matter how you feel, no matter who you hire to interfere in our match, no matter if you make the claim that you’re the greatest Internet Champion of all time I say I DON’T THINK SO! HOMEY DON’T PLAY DAT! You have to deal with what I think, what I claim, how I feel, and for damn sure I don’t need interference assistance to defeat someone like you!

Bill motions to the crew he is done with his comments for today. They place the camera into a slow fade to black and when the screen finally goes black they switch programming over to regularly scheduled programming from the Network.


187
Climax Control Archives / It Isn't Always The Biggest In a Fight That Wins
« on: May 22, 2020, 09:52:18 AM »
 IT ISN’T ALWAYS THE BIGGEST IN A FIGHT THAT WINS

OFF CAMERA

We are taken back to when Bea Barnhart lived in the Philippines. This, of course, is well before she met and married Bill Barnhart, as she was still a teen at the time. Since her family lived outside of the city of Manila they had to travel long distances to obtain food, water, and other needed items. Most of the kids where Bea lived tried to get all their stuff in one trip. When they loaded everything to bring it back to their home the load was so heavy and unstable they ended up dropping most of the items along the way because they tried to carry too much in one trip. They couldn’t walk fast as they were carrying such a heavy load. Having to stop and pick up the items they dropped, and readjusting their heavy load numerous times, then stopping many times to rest and regain their energy, then reload items to try to carry them in one trip again, caused them to take four to six hours to accomplish the task.

Bea had to travel the same distance to and from the stores to get the same items as the other kids but she had a different approach. Instead of trying to get all the items from her shopping trip to her home by attempting to carry everything at once, causing her to drop stuff and have to rest numerous times, Bea separated the items into smaller, lighter loads which allowed her to walk, and even run, with her items so that she was able to bring the same amount of items home as the other kids but in less than half the time. Where it would take the other kids from four to six hours to get everything home, due to dropping items and resting a lot, Bea could get the same number of items home in less than two to three hours.

The moral of the story is that sometimes breaking large heavy things into smaller and lighter items which are easy to control and manipulate is the way to be successful and win.

ON CAMERA

Narrator:  Although Bea Barnhart to be giving up 110 pounds of weight to Bobbie Dahl, and some of you may consider this a difficult challenge for Bea, you need to know it isn’t always the biggest or heaviest in a fight who wins the fight.

The scene changes to the hotel room of Bea Barnhart which she shares with her husband Bill Barnhart and their English Bulldog Iris. Bea is casually dressed in blue jeans, a light blue pullover shirt, and white athletic shoes. She is sitting on a chair next to the couch for her presentation and next to her chair is a table with a hot cup of coffee on it.

Bea:  I’m in our hotel room by myself. Bill and Iris are out walking around the hotel to get Iris some exercise. I’m here to talk about my upcoming match against Bobbie Dahl. Bobbie I’m not taking you lightly as you’ve accomplished a few things in the sport of wrestling. One of your accomplishments is to show how you can eat four times as much as everyone else at the all-you-can-eat buffet. There’s no doubt the owners of those all-you-can-eat buffet restaurants lose money when you eat there. Yeah, okay, I’m sure many watching are screaming at their televisions that I’m being insensitive to someone who is challenged by her immense weight. Nah! I’m not being insensitive to the fact you’re an inch shorter than me but carry 110 pounds more weight than I carry. Items such as blimp, whale, and Hippo, come to my mind but I won’t mention them as some might think I’m being insensitive about your weight problem again.

Bea reaches to the table next to her, picks up the cup of coffee, and takes a few sips.

Bea:  Ahhh! Love my coffee! Let me start by totally destroying the concept that a taller and heavier wrestler always has the advantage. Since I’m contracted to Sin City Wrestling I’m not allowed to mention names of wrestlers from other Federations but I can give clues who I’m talking about. In one of the most infamous wrestling federations one of the smallest wrestlers defeated one of the tallest and heaviest wrestlers in that federation. A very long time ago there was a wrestler out of Georgia who weighed in at 600 pounds and he often got defeated because his weight was not an asset but a liability. I could list dozens of large and heavy wrestlers who couldn’t get the job done due to dragging around too much weight. Bobbie let me try to give you a mental image of how we match up. I’m like a heavy duty pickup truck, with great suspension, a powerful engine, and I’m rated for hauling heavy payloads and a towing capacity to tow heavy items. You, on the other hand, are like a Smart Car that is trying to carry a ton of cargo. Damn! Like that will never happen even in your most vivid drug-induced dreams!

Bea lets out a sinister laugh then sips more coffee,

Bea:  So, Bobbie, every wrestler has something that causes them to get distracted during a wrestling match? With that in mind what distracts you during a wrestling match? A quick-moving opponent to your slow overweight waddling self? The fact that I’m stunning in my looks and body shape and when you go out for a walk, assuming you are able to carry so much weight further than from your front door to your mailbox, people have been known to call the Zoo to report an escaped Hippo. I’m sure it’ll be easy to distract you during our match. How you ask? All I have to do when we are wrestling is to pull out a chocolate bar and toss it on the mat and you’ll dive on it and nearly cause the ring to collapse in the process. Yeah, okay, I’m being sarcastic but rightly so. You may have been able to throw your weight around, although not very far as there is so much of it, with other wrestlers but you’re not going to get away with that with me. Always remember the classic saying that It isn’t the size of the dog in the fight. . .It is the size of the fight in the dog. I may be the smaller dog in our fight by reason of weight but I’m the dog with the biggest fight you have dealt with to date. I have no intention of losing a wrestling match to someone who even a weight loss center has turned away as being beyond help. I’ve proven myself to be dedicated to the sport of wrestling and at Climax Control 270 I’ll prove I’m better than you.

Bea’s cell phone rings and she excuses herself to take the call.

Bea:  Sorry but this call is from my husband Bill. He might be having an issue with Iris on their walk so I need to take the call. While I’m on the call some videos I gave to the broadcast studio, in case of a situation like this, will run and when I get back we’ll go live with my comments again.

A segment from Animal Planet runs and we see a Wolverine dragging a Deer carcass into the bushes to hide it so they can eat it later. The Wolverine walks off after hiding the Deer carcass. A short time later a Grizzly Bear walks into view and sniffs out the Deer carcass and starts to drag it off. In a flash the Wolverine runs into view and confronts the Grizzly Bear. You would think a huge Grizzly Bear would take one swipe at the Wolverine and totally annihilate the it but the Grizzly doesn’t do that. The Wolverine violently confronts the Grizzly bear and the Grizzly bear is intimidated and runs out of camera range while the victorious Wolverine snarls over their victory.

The next video is an underground video released by someone who was at dog fight event. One of the dogs in the fight is a good size Pit Bull mix and the other dog is half the size and looks to be a mixed breed but we cannot make out what it is mixed with. Everyone at this dog fight is betting on the larger dog and anyone watching will conclude the smaller dog will end up defeated. As the fight gets intense, and the crowd is cheering for the larger dog, the smaller dog slides under the larger dog and starts biting the sensitive areas of the other dog’s stomach and groin. When the larger dog reacts from the pain the smaller dog bites the legs of the other dog and then runs hard slamming into the larger dog knocking the larger dog over. The smaller dog latches onto the throat of the larger dog and the owner of the larger dog immediately calls off the fight admitting defeat. Both dogs survived this fight but the larger dog in the fight was never the same again after being defeated by a smaller opponent.

In the next video we see a Tarantula Hawk Wasp attacking a Tarantula. The Tarantula is about five times larger than the Tarantula Hawk Wasp. Although the larger Tarantula is aggressive in trying to fight off the Tarantula Hawk Wasp we see the Wasp has no fear of the Tarantula and repeatedly attacks it and paralyzes it. Then the Tarantula Hawk Wasp drags the paralyzed Tarantula to her nest and lays her eggs on the Tarantula. When the baby Tarantula Hawk Wasps hatch they dine on the paralyzed Tarantula proving, once again, that just because you are bigger than your opponent doesn’t mean you’ll win the battle.

The next video shows a high powered motorcycle meant for racing and next to it is a Moped. The person before them drops the flag and both take off with the motorcycle taking a commanding lead and reaching the finish line quickly. It takes several minutes before the Moped manages to limp across the finish line.

Bea’s phone call with Bill is done and she returns into camera view.

Bea:  Thanks for watching the videos while I talked with Bill. He didn’t have a problem with Iris. He just wanted to let me know they’ll have food delivered to the hotel room and he wanted to know what I wanted. I’d like to talk about those videos you watched and see how they relate to my match with Bobby Dahl.

Bea holds up one finger to indicate she will compare the first video to her match against Bobbie Dahl.

Bea:  The first video pitted a Wolverine against a Grizzly Bear in a dispute over a Deer carcass that belonged to the Wolverine. When the Wolverine saw the Grizzly Bear stealing the Deer carcass the Wolverine went on the attack. When you consider that a Wolverine weighs about thirty to forty pounds and and Grizzly Bear weighs about three hundred fifty pounds, the assumption is with one swipe of their paw the Grizzly Bear could have won the fight. However proving the saying that it isn’t the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog the Wolverine kicked the ass of the Grizzly Bear that was ten times the weight and size and it won the fight over the larger opponent. That’s how I’ll win our match Bobbie. You’re like that Grizzly Bear who thought because they were larger than their opponent they had an easy win. Tell that to the Grizzly Bear that quickly backed down to the Wolverine after the Wolverine kicked their ass.

Bea holds up two fingers to indicate she will compare the second video to her match with Bobbie Dahl.

Bea:  Thankfully in the dog fight video a lot of it was blurred out as I cannot stand to watch violence perpetrated on animals. Enough of the action was not blurred out to prove that the smaller dog in that fight had more fight in them than the larger dog in the fight. Bobbie I hope you’ll still have enough sense to submit and end the match quickly when I disable you and go in for the finish. If you remain defiant and refuse to submit to me then any damage you receive is on your shoulders. I may be the smaller opponent in this match in the weight category but like that smaller dog in the dog fight I have more fight in me than you’ll ever have.

Bea holds up three fingers to indicate she will compare the third video to her match against Bobbie Dahl.

Bea:  Everyone will admit that a Tarantula is an aggressive, dangerous, and successful predator. But, alas, as large as a Tarantula is a smaller creature came along and kicked the Tarantula’s ass. I’m talking about the incident between a Tarantula Hawk Wasp and a Tarantula from the video. Even though the Tarantula was at least five times larger than the Tarantula Hawk Wasp the Wasp was more agile, more aggressive, totally aware of what the Tarantula was doing, or trying to do, and in the end the Tarantula Hawk Wasp stung the Tarantula and paralyzed it. After that it dragged the Tarantula into a hole, laid her eggs on it, and when the babies hatched they dined on the paralyzed Tarantula which was helpless to prevent the assault. Bobbie I’m the Tarantula Hawk Wasp to your Tarantula. I’ll dazzle you, amaze you, out-maneuver you, and stun you into submission.

Bea holds up four fingers to indicate she will compare the fourth video to her match with Bobbie Dahl.

Bea:  So, Bobbie, I hope you enjoyed the video of a Moped trying to out-race a high performance motorcycle. That’s a perfect depiction of us for our match. I’m a high performance wrestling machine and you’re a pathetic moped trying to keep up. When you crash and burn in our match are you going to do a Pee Wee Herman impersonation? You know the one I’m talking about so don’t act stupid. Then again maybe you’re not acting? The scene is from the movie Pee Wee’s Big Adventure where Pee Wee Herman was riding his Moped and wanted to show off to the kids watching him. He wasn’t watching what he was doing and his Moped crashed into the curb and Pee Wee went flying and did a face plant in the grass. He then stood up, looked at the kids, and uttered I MEANT TO DO THAT! and the kids, realizing Pee Wee is a fool, laughed at him. That, Miss Dahl, is the best representation of the two of us in our match. I’m going off the the starting line full speed while you putt along like a pathetic Moped. After I win you’ll still be dragging your fat ass toward the finish line only to realize you lost the match to me five minutes ago. Then when the Referee informs you that you lost you’ll utter the famous Pee Wee Herman line I MEANT TO DO THAT! To which I’ll reply to you concerning my sound defeat of you in our match that I MEANT TO DEFEAT YOU!  The fans will laugh at you and ridicule you for your incompetence like those kids laughed at and ridiculed Pee Wee Herman for his incompetence.

Bea informs the cameraman she is going to make closing comments so he calls into the Network to let them know as soon as Bea is done with closing comments he will cut his camera feed.

Bea:  I wish to inform you, Bobbie, that although you’re a large person that you being obese doesn’t make you a better wrestler. It obviously makes you a better eater though. All kidding aside being larger than me doesn’t mean you are better than me. Being an inch shorter than me but carrying a hundred and ten pounds more weight than I do is a major factor working against you. I’ve proven to be a great wrestler and most of my wins were by submission. The biggest advantage a wrestler can have is to have opponents that allow themselves to get distracted. How could I see you getting distracted? As I mentioned earlier in my presentation I feel it would be hilarious for me to toss a chocolate bar across the ring and watch you get distracted and dive on top of it. Or how about if they have a roving food vendor selling hotdogs and sodas calling out GET YOUR HOT DOGS HERE! SODA! ICE COLD SODA!  Without a doubt that would get your attention and I’ll take advantage of your distraction. The saying goes that you are what you eat. With that in mind that means you are a combination of Twinkies, cupcakes, ice cream, candy bars, chocolate, and soda. Honestly, Bobbie, I’d ask you to admit that you’re in over your head in our match but I don’t expect you to be honest and admit you know you’ll lose to me. That’s okay Bobbie. Not everyone is as truthful and honest as I am.

Bea snorts out a laugh.

Bea:  I feel I’ve laid down the law, explained the truth to you, let you know that I’m superior to you, so I’ll make my final comments so you can run to the store and buy some comfort chocolate to stuff yourself with. Here’s the way I see our match Bobbie. You cannot escape me. You could roll out of the ring but for sure carrying so much weight it would take you longer than the Referee’s ten count before you could get back into the ring so you would be counted out. For sure you can’t move fast enough to prevent me from applying holds and executing moves on you. However there is one possible way you might be able to escape me long enough to remain viable in our match for a few minutes longer. Considering the massive amounts of junk food you must be eating to maintain your immense weight perhaps if, during our match, you are profusely sweating, that slimy sweat may be enough to keep me from properly applying maneuvers and holds on you. Bobbie I hope you enjoy your freedom leading up to Climax Control 270 because when our match takes place on Sunday, May 24, 2020, you‘ll no longer have your freedom as you’ll be a captive of my superior wrestling abilities.

The moment Bea is done with her closing comments the cameraman cuts his camera feed and the Network switches to regularly scheduled programming.


188
Climax Control Archives / Welcome to Bill Barnhart's School of Hard Knocks
« on: May 06, 2020, 10:08:16 AM »
 SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS

Narrator:  Welcome to the School Of Hard Knocks managed by Bill Barnhart.

>

ON CAMERA

A sign pops up on our television screen showing BILL BARNHART”S SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS. The sign stays up for 30 seconds before the scene switches to a mock up of a classroom that is set up next to the wrestling ring in the GO Gym in Las Vegas, Nevada. Bill looks into the camera and presents his comments.

Bill:  Dustin welcome to the Bill Barnhart School of Hard Knocks. I’m Bill Barnhart and I’ll give you a hard knocks education. You’ll step into the wrestling ring against me and you’ll be schooled in the fine art of wrestling. When our match is over, and I’ve beaten you to a pulp, that’s when you’ll have earned enough hard knocks to receive your Diploma of Graduation from my School of Hard Knocks.

A man walks into the scene and we are wondering who that person is.

Attorney Mel Hewitt:  Hi Mister Barnhart. I’m Attorney Mel Hewitt from Atlanta, Georgia. I’d like to know if you wish to sue those in Sin City Wrestling who have cheated you out of wins in wrestling matches due to violating the rules, cheating, or interference?

Bill:  Before I answer your question will you answer a question for me?

Attorney Mel Hewitt:  Sure.

Bill:  What’s the difference between a Catfish and an Attorney?

Attorney Mel Hewitt:  I don’t know. What’s the difference between a Catfish and an Attorney?

Bill:  One is a bottom dwelling, scum sucking, garbage eater. The other is a fish!

Attorney Hewitt is not amused by that joke.

Attorney Mel Hewitt:  Not funny Mister Barnhart. Do you wish to sue anyone or not?

Bill:  No I don’t want to sue anyone. However since I didn’t contact you to confront me with your services please get the hell away from me or I’ll sue you for violating my personal space!

Attorney Hewitt is speechless as he turns and leaves the facility.

Bill:  My next match, at Climax Control 268, is a Mixed Tag Team match where I’m teamed with my partner and wife Bea going up against the team of Dustin Holt and his loser daughter Violet Amelia Holt. I say loser daughter as she lost to Bea twice and both by submission.

A smile comes on the face of Barnhart.

Bill:  Dustin I know of you and I know you have a long wrestling career. I know you can get the job done against most wrestlers but you can’t get the job done against me. What I would love to see in our match is it come down to Bea and Violet as the legal wrestlers in the ring so Bea can issue a third devastating loss to Violet. However if it happens to come down to me and you as the legal wrestlers in the ring I’ll enjoy defeating you. A win over a Holt is still a win over a Holt. By the time I get done with you it will feel as though someone whacked you over the head with a wooden mallet.

Bill gives a thumbs up into the camera. And then he motions to the camera that his comments are over and the cameraman cuts his feed at the Network cuts to a commercial break.

OFF CAMERA

A shot of the room of Bill and Bea Barnhart at the Saxon Hotel comes on our screen. We see Bill reclining on the couch watching the television show Monty Python’s Flying Circus. Bill is in near uncontrollable laughter as he enjoys the humor of the Monty Python comedy team. Iris is annoyed as she is trying to get beauty sleep and for sure we know as homely as she is she needs all the beauty sleep she can get. Bea is sitting on a chair next to the couch where Bill is located. We see Bill drift off to sleep. As Monty Python’s Argument skit comes on the television it translates into Bill’s dream and…

INSIDE BILL’S DREAM

Bill is dreaming that he is the man in the Monty Python Argument skit who goes to a business to have an argument.

We see Bill Barnhart walk into an office and greet the receptionist.

Bill:  I'd like to have an argument, please.

Receptionist:  Certainly sir. Have you been here before?

Bill:  No, I haven't, this is my first time.

Receptionist:  I see. Well, do you want to have just one argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?

Bill:  Well, what is the cost?

Receptionist:  Well, It's five dollars for a five minute argument, but only twenty dollars for a course of ten.

Bill:  Well, I think it would be best if I perhaps started off with just the one and then see how it goes.

Receptionist:  Fine. Well, I'll see who's free at the moment.

(Pause)

Receptionist:  Mr. DeBakey's free, but he's a little bit conciliatory. Ahh yes, Try the Instructor in room 12.

Bill:  Thank you.

Bill walks down the hall, looks at the room number, opens the door, and walks into the room

Instructor:  WHAT DO YOU WANT???

Bill:  Well, I was told outside that...

Instructor:  Don't give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!

Bill:  What?

Instructor:  Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke! You vacuous, coffee-nosed, malodorous, pervert!!!

Bill:  Look, I CAME HERE FOR AN ARGUMENT! I'm not going to just stand…

Instructor:  OH, oh I'm sorry, but this course is Abuse.

Bill:  Oh, I see, well, that explains it.

Instructor:  Ah yes, you want room 12-A, Just along the corridor.

Bill:  Oh, Thank you very much. Sorry.

Instructor:  Not at all.

Bill:  Thank You. (under his breath - Stupid git!!)

Bill walks down the corridor to room 12-A and he knocks on the door.

Instructor:  Come in!

Bill:  Ah, Is this the right room for an argument?

Instructor:  I told you once.

Bill:  No you haven't.

Instructor:  Yes I have.

Bill:  When?

Instructor:  Just now.

Bill:  No you didn't.

Instructor:  Yes I did.

Bill:  You didn't.

Instructor:  I did!

Bill:  You didn't!

Instructor:  I'm telling you I did!

Bill:  You did not!!

Instructor:  Oh, I'm sorry, just one moment. Is this a five minute argument or the full half hour?

Bill:  Oh, just the five minutes.

Instructor:  Ah, thank you. Anyway, I did.

Bill: You most certainly did not.

Instructor:  Look, let's get this thing clear; I quite definitely told you.

Bill:  No you did not.

Instructor:  Yes I did.

Bill:  No you didn't.

Instructor:  Yes I did.

Bill:  No you didn't.

Instructor:  Yes I did.

Bill:  No you didn't.

Instructor:  Yes I did.

Bill:  You didn't.

Instructor:  Did.

Bill:  Oh look, this isn't an argument.

Instructor:  Yes it is.

Bill:  No it isn't. It's just contradiction.

Instructor:  No it isn't.

Bill:  It is!

Instructor:  It is not.

Bill:  Look, you just contradicted me.

Instructor:  I did not.

Bill:  Oh you did!!

Instructor:  No, no, no.

Bill:  You did just then.

Instructor:  Nonsense!

Bill:  Oh, this is futile!

Instructor:  No it isn't.

Bill:  I came here for a good argument.

Instructor:  No you didn't. No, you came here for an argument.

Bill:  An argument isn't just contradiction.

Instructor:  It can be.

Bill:  No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.

Instructor:  No it isn't.

Bill:  Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.

Instructor:  Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.

Bill:  Yes, but that's not just saying “No it isn’t”  

Instructor:  Yes it is!

Bill:  No it isn't! An argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.

(short pause)

Instructor:  No it isn't.

Bill:  It is.

Instructor:  Not at all.

Bill:  Now look…

Instructor:  (Rings bell) Good Morning!

Bill:  What?

Instructor:  That's it. Good morning.

Bill:  I was just getting interested.

Instructor:  Sorry, the five minutes is up.

Bill:  That was never five minutes!

Instructor:  I'm afraid it was.

Bill:  It wasn't.

(Pause)

Instructor:  I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue anymore.

Bill:  What?

Instructor:  If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.

Bill:  Yes, but that was never five minutes, just now. Oh come on!

Instructor:  *Hums*

Bill:  Look, this is ridiculous!

Instructor:  I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!

Bill:  Man: Oh, all right. (pays money)

Instructor: Thank you.

(short pause)

Bill:  Well?

Instructor:  Well what?

Bill:  That wasn't really five minutes just now.

Instructor:  I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.

Bill:  I just paid!

Instructor:  No you didn't.

Bill:  I DID!!!

Instructor:  No you didn't.

Bill:  Look, I don't want to argue about that.

Instructor:  Well, you didn't pay.

Bill:  Aha! If I didn't pay, why are you arguing? I Got you!

Instructor:  No you haven't.

Bill:  Yes I have! If you're arguing, I must have paid!

Instructor:  Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.

Bill:  Oh I've had enough of this!!!

Instructor:  No you haven't.

Bill:  Oh shut up!

Bill walks out of the office, down the stairs, and opens a door that has a sign on it that says COMPLAINTS

Bill:  I want to complain!

Complainer:  You want to complain? Look at these shoes! I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through!

Bill:  No, I want to complain about...

Complainer:  If you complain nothing happens! You might as well not bother!

Bill:  Oh!

Complainer:  Oh my back hurts! It's not a very fine day! And I'm sick and tired of this office!

Bill walks out and slams the door shut. He walks down the hallway and opens the door and walks into the room.

Bill:  Hello, I want to... *instructor in room whacks Bill on the head with a wooden mallet* Ooooh!

Instructor:  No, no, no! Hold your head like this, then go Waaah! Try it again!

Instructor hits Bill on the head again with the wooden mallet.

Bill:  Uuuwwhh!!

Instructor:  Better, better, but Waaah! Waaah!!! Put your hand there (instructor points to Bill’s head).

Bill:  No!!!

Instructor:  Now… (instructor swings wooden mallet again whacking Bill very hard on his head).

Bill:  Waaaaah!!!

Instructor:  Good! Good!! That's it!!!

Bill:  Stop hitting me!!!

Instructor:  What?

Bill:  Stop hitting me!!!

Instructor:  Stop hitting you?

Bill:  Yes!!!

Instructor:  Why did you come in here then?

Bill:  I wanted to complain!

Instructor:  Oh no, that's next door! It's being-hit-on-the-head lessons in here!

Bill:  What a stupid concept!

Bill is startled awake when Bea wakes him up from his sleep. Bill realizes he was dreaming he was in the Monty Python Argument skit.

Bill:  Wow! I dreamed I was in the Monty Python Argument skit. Glad it was just a dream.

ON CAMERA

The scene comes into focus on our screen. We see Bill Barnhart standing in front of the wrestling ring at the GO Gym in Las Vegas, Nevada. When the cameraman gives him the signal Bill launches into his comments for this part of his presentation.

Bill:  The first item I wish to discuss are complaints I’ve received on why I haven’t bragged about defeating Kris Ryans at Climax Control 266. They figured since when that win grabbed the attention of Management and they said that at Into The Void IX I’ll face whoever is the Internet Champion for a shot at the Championship they figured I should be bragging about it. Why am I not bragging about defeating Kris Ryans? Because he’s an accomplished wrestler in Sin City Wrestling and a damn good Champion when he held Championships. He had an off night and that’s not something I need to brag about. The fact that my win over Ryans earned me a shot at the Internet Championship is enough of a reward for me. How do I feel if Austin James Mercer is still Internet Champion when Into The Void IX takes place and I get my shot at the Internet Championship at that event? He defeated Fenris, for the Heavyweight Championship, which is a nearly impossible thing for any wrestler to accomplish. Austin held the Championship for five months then lost it to Senor Vinnie. Mercer then won a six-way Ladder Match to earn the Internet Championship. It would be a pleasure to face off against Austin James Mercer but I’ll gladly face whoever the Internet Champion happens to be when Into The Void IX arrives.

Bill points to the wrestling ring he is standing next to.

Bill:  This is the wrestling ring where me and Bea face off against Violet Amelia Holt and Dustin Holt in a Mixed Tax Team match at Climax Control 268. Bea already has the distinction of defeating Violet twice by submission and she’s looking for a third win over Violet. I appreciate Bea being aggressive and positive but she also knows that in a Mixed Tag Team match the match can change quickly if one of the two wrestlers legally in the ring can tag their partner in. Since the rules of this type of match is men against men and women against women once one of the legal wrestlers tags out the other legal wrestler must also leave the ring and allow their partner into the ring.

Bill walks around the ring to the side where the table is located where the announcers will call the match.

Bill: This is the table where the announcers, Jason Adams and Belinda Simone, will call the action of our match. This wrestling ring is where Justin Decent will announce the win of our team gets over Dustin and Violet. After our victory in this Mixed Tax Team match it will be a pleasure to replay this match over and over again to enjoy our victory numerous times.

Bill walks around the ring and returns to the spot in front of the ring where we first saw him when his presentation started.

Bill:  Dustin I’m gonna enjoy being in the ring with you. I know some of what you have accomplished in the past and I’ll enjoy taking you down and walking away the winner. I know you’re a very protective father to Violet as I’m a protective daddy to my English Bulldog Iris. Just as I don’t want to see Iris suffer I know you don’t want to see Violet suffer. But, Dustin, I have to ask you a very important question. Is your protection mode concerning your daughter more important to you than obeying the rules in our match? When Bea is beating down Violet will your emotions take over causing you to violate the rules and your team will be Disqualified? I’ll gladly take a Disqualification win over you and Violet if that’s the way you two want to play it. Can you control your urges to protect your little girl from the assaults of Bea? Those are damn tough questions, Dustin, so what are your answers? My suggestion is that you focus on the action in the ring but you don’t get physically involved until you are tagged in by Violet or Bea tags me in which brings you into the ring with me. When Bea is in the ring against Violet, regardless of what legally happens, I don’t get involved. However if Violet violates the rules and cheats then you damn sure know I’ll take action to stop it.

The cameraman gets an extreme close-up of Bill’s face and Bill gives a stern look into the camera.

Bill:  Dustin will you and Violet stay involved in the match until they announce us as the winners of the match or will you decide that getting Disqualified is the only way you can get out of the match without too much physical injury placed on you by us? I don’t want our match to be soiled by you two breaking the rules but if that’s where you want to take this match then you have to suffer the consequences. See you two on Sunday, May 10, 2020, at the GO Gym at Climax Control 268. Bye!

The cameraman backs off the extreme close-up on Bill and we watch as Bill waves BYE into the camera. The cameraman places his camera into a slow fade to black and when the screen goes dark the Network returns to regularly scheduled programming for this time slot.


189
Climax Control Archives / You Want To Try To Bully Me? I Don't Think So!
« on: May 06, 2020, 10:04:37 AM »
 BULLIED

Narrator:  You know Bea Barnhart is beautiful, intelligent, very confident, and she doesn’t take crap from anyone. Has Bea always been this confident and sure of herself?

OFF CAMERA

Although Bea Barnhart grew up in the suburbs of Manila in the Philippines her family did not live in the actual city of Manila. They were not well off financially so they had to live in what we in the United States would call a low-income district. Bea had to attend school where a specific uniform was required to be worn. Most of the students, due to being in financially well off families, had several school uniforms to wear so they could switch them out and always have a neat clean sharp uniform to wear. Bea, on the other hand, had only one school uniform and she had to keep it in good condition, as best she could, because if it got damaged her family could not immediately afford to purchase a new uniform for her and it would take her mother days to sew a new one. Bea’s mother tried to work ahead on making a new uniform outfit for Bea but sometimes Bea has to deal with just one uniform. With all the patches and stitching Bea had to put into her tattered school uniform the mean girls in school called Bea a RAG DOLL and this taunting, teasing, and bullying took a toll on the emotions of Bea especially when the mean girls also launched into the song RAG DOLL by Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons.

ON CAMERA

Bea Barnhart comes on our screen and she’s in a dining area in the Saxon Hotel where they are staying leading up to Climax Control 268. She’s ordering food to take back to their room. We notice she’s dressed in her trademark blue dress she normally wears to Bill’s matches when serving as his Manager.

Bea:  Thank you for joining me to hear what I have to say about my upcoming match on Sunday, May 10, 2020, at Climax Control 268. I’m assigned to a Mixed Tag Team match teaming with my husband, Bill Barnhart, against the father-daughter team of Dustin Holt and Violet Amelia Holt. Violet this should be an interesting match, but your daddy is not going to be able to protect you while we are the legal wrestlers in the ring.

Bea orders the food she wants for her, Bill, and Iris, and pays for the food. The dining facility worker packages the food and hands it to Bea.

Bea:  Recently my husband, Bill, talked about the bullying he went through when he was a kid growing up in Oakland. He also highlighted the history of dealing with his abusive half-brother Chris Shipman. Bill dealt with his bullies with force but when I got bullied I dealt with the bullies with intelligence, dignity, and style. With this upcoming match, as with all my matches since I became a wrestler in Sin City Wrestling, my opponents tried to bully and intimidate me to give up and walk away. Nah! That didn’t work on me, it never has, and the attempting bullying and intimidation by you, Violet, failed to affect me just as everyone else has failed before you. I went through lots of bullying when I was a school girl in the Philippines. Most of the time I ignored them and sometimes I took action to diffuse the lame girls that had to bully others to get attention. When I entered High School the mean girls stopped bothering me because they realized I was smarter than them, more attractive than them, and all the good-looking boys chased me which left the ugly homely ogres  and trolls to chase them.

Bea is happy she is able to purchase food she knows Bill and Iris will enjoy and a smile comes on her face.

Bea:  You would think that distancing myself from those mean girls, by being one of the most popular girls in High School, would have been the end of the situation but it wasn’t. I graduated from High School and immediately went on to attend College in the Philippines and it was right after the graduation ceremony that I got married to Bill. Guess what I did. Oh, come on, take a guess! Since most of you are low I.Q. dimwits I could give you a year and you wouldn’t guess correctly. To save you the anguish of overloading, and burning out, what few remaining working brain cells you have, I’ll tell you what I did. I made sure to invite every mean girl bully who abused me to both my graduation ceremony from college and my wedding with Bill. Of course you wonder why I did that and you have the right to want to know. It comes down to the fact that I was the only person from the High School who attended college and graduated while the mean girls couldn’t even get a job as a maid in a hotel or a server in a fast-food restaurant. And my marriage to Bill? They knew they would never marry someone as great, handsome, and awesome as Bill and they knew they would never have the chance to immigrate to the United States. That’s why I invited them so they will spend the rest of their pathetic lives wondering why they made such an effort trying to bully and intimidate me. For me to do and accomplish things they could never do and accomplish is the best form of punishment I could offer them for their mean behavior toward me.

Bea turns and walks out of the dining facility while the cameraman keeps up with her.

Bea:  Before I launch into comments for Violet Amelia Holt who is my next opponent, and Dustin Holt her doting and over-protective daddy who is teamed with her in our Mixed Tag Team match, I wish to comment on Candy and the Bombshell Roulette Championship match we had at Blaze of Glory VIII. Candy you and the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling thought I was a joke. You thought I was an easy mark. You expected that because I am a newcomer at being a wrestler it would make me easy for you to defeat. Candy I saw the look of shock on your face during our match and that look screamed out that you knew you were going to lose to me if you didn’t step up your game. You didn’t lose because after both of us beat the hell out of each other you picked yourself up and managed to grab the Championship and retained it with a successful defense against me. There was no cheating. There was nothing but stuff totally within the rules of a Ladder Match. Do I feel bad that I lost? I wouldn’t say I feel bad that I didn’t win but of course I wanted the win and become the Bombshell Roulette Champion that night. But you came out on top and I commend you for your accomplishment. You did what I expect a Champion to do and that is to never give up until the Referee calls for the bell to end the match. Congratulations on the win, and retaining the Bombshell Roulette Championship, and I hope we get to meet in the wrestling ring again soon.

Bea continues walking down the hallway to the place where she is meeting up with Bill and Iris.

Bea:  While I was wrestling Candy in the Ladder Match for the Bombshell Roulette Championship I heard the other Bombshells in the crowd cheering Candy on while disrespecting me. With that in mind I issue an open challenge to all of you who were obviously paid off to cheer for Candy. So here’s the challenge. If you mean girls in Sin City Wrestling want to insult me, disrespect me, hurl vile stuff my way, and try to bully me, then you damn sure better be ready for me to kick the silicone implants out of your asses and chests in retaliation. Although you tried to distract me in my Championship match against Candy at Blaze of Glory VIII you were unsuccessful. I never backed down in that match and if any of you are froggy and want to jump then put your signature on a contract to wrestle me so I can serve up frog legs for dinner.

Bea meets Bill and Iris in the lobby area. The three then head for their room. When they arrive at their room they are met by Sin City Wrestling interviewer “Stoner” Scott Oliver who is there to interview Bea for her upcoming match. The four walk into the room and Bea sets out the food at the dining table and they start eating.

Scott:  That was nice of you to commend Candy for her performance in the Bombshell Roulette Championship match. Most wrestlers who lose a match like that whine and complain. It shows a mark of maturity and intelligence for a competitor to commend others on their work.

Bea:  That’s what separates me from the other Bombshells in Sin City Wrestling. I’m a professional and whether I win or lose if I have an opponent who doesn’t cheat, and doesn’t have interference in a match, I’ll commend them on their work. If they cheat or hire interference then I’ll call them out for being pond scum.

Scott:  Bill how do you feel about Bea’s match against Candy at Blaze of Glory VIII?

Bill:  Bea will do great as she always does. She’s passionate about her work in wrestling.

Bea excuses herself as she needs to use the bathroom which is located in a room off the bedroom. Bea walks into the bedroom while Bill and Scott remain at the table and on camera to eat their food. A short time later…

Bea:  Bill! Come here quickly! I need you! Ohhhhh!!!

Scott and Bill look at each other and wonder what’s going on in the bedroom and bathroom with Bea. Bill shrugs his shoulders and excuses himself to run into the bedroom area to find out what’s going on while the camera remains on Scott Oliver. We cannot see what’s going on but we can hear the conversation between Bea and Bill from the bedroom area.

Bea:  Thank goodness you’re here! I couldn’t wait any longer! I need you now!

Bill:  Couldn’t this wait? You’re in the middle of an interview with Scott Oliver and we could have done this later!

Bea:  No! This has to get done now! Get it inside and push hard!

Bill:  Okay! Okay! But I feel bad Scott has to wait for us sitting at the table with lots of food and with Iris staring at him eating.

Bea:  You need to push harder! Let’s get this done!

Bill:  I’m pushing hard!

Bea:  Start pushing harder or I’ll have to call someone from Hotel Management to get someone in here who can get the job done!

Bill:  Damn! Okay here goes! *grunt* *sigh* *moan*

Bea:  *sigh* *grunt* *yeah* *moan* That’s it!

Scott has a shocked look on his face but he remains in the room as his job is to finish his interviews.

Bea:  Yes yes yes!!! Go go go!!! Yes yes yes!!!

Bill:  It’s gonna come any moment!!!

Bea:  YAY!!!!!

Bill:  YAY!!!!!

There’s an uncomfortable moment of silence then Scott hears Bill and Bea coming out of the bedroom and what he sees isn’t what he was expecting to see. What Scott sees, and the cameraman gets a shot of, is Bill and Bea looking tired and sweaty and holding a toilet plunger.

>

Bea:  Sorry for the disruption of our interview and taking air time away from you. The toilet got clogged up and I needed Bill to come and assist me in getting the clog to come out.

Bill:  I tried it by myself but that toilet was really clogged. Finally both of us had to grab the plunger and push as hard as we could until the clog came out. We didn’t want to bother Hotel Management if we could resolve it on our own.

Scott:  Seeing you two with the plunger eliminated what I thought was was happening with you two. To be honest with all that moaning and groaning I thought something else was taking place.

Bea:  Scott please tell me you didn’t think me and Bill were doing the…

Scott:  Yes I did and now that I know the truth I apologize. With you two out of view, and all I heard were the comments and noises you made, it was an honest assumption.

Bea, Bill, and Scott enjoy a rowdy laugh over the incident. Iris, however, is upset nobody has been giving her food so she walks up and head butts Daddy Bill in the knees.

Bill:  Ouch! Iris! Geez! I know you want food but head butting me in the knees is not the way to get what you want!

Bill loads up a bowl of food for Iris and places it on the floor. The way Iris is gobbling her food you would think she hasn’t eaten for a week but in reality she ate a few hours ago. Scott continues his interview with Bea.

Scott:  The heat has been building between you and Violet for some time. Now you face her again but this time she is teamed with her father. What would you like to say to Violet?

Bea:  Violet you can’t deny that we met twice in the wrestling ring and I defeated you twice by submission. You reacted as I expected you would and that was to turn on the mean girl attitude and hurl insults and threats at me. You’ll pay dearly for trying to bully and intimidate me. The only way you can avoid directly losing to me is if you’re able to tag out to your father and Dustin ends up in the ring with Bill. But, Violet, if you fail to tag out to your daddy then I’ll defeat you for the third time in our third match. I may not make you submit again but without a doubt if we are the legal wrestlers in the ring the victory is mine.

Scott:  Bea our air time is nearly expired. Any closing comments to Violet, or anyone else on the Roster, before we end this interview?

Bea:  Violet you and other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling claim to be as sure as the Sun rises in the East sets in the West. when it comes to your wrestling. If you, and others, had any working brain cells you would know your saying is bullshit. The Sun does not move around the Earth to rise in the East the set in the West. The Sun is relatively stable in the Solar System and it is the Earth that orbits around the Sun and at the same time the Earth rotates on its axis. The reason the Sun appears to rise in the East and set in the West is due to the rotation of the Earth and not the movement of the Sun. You are one of the typical set-in-place, do nothing, accomplish nothing, wrestlers who appear to do things when in fact you are just standing there doing nothing. I’m like the Earth that is in constant motion, both in orbiting around the Sun and rotating on its axis. I’m the one who will run circles around you. When I defeat you it will not be like the Sun that appears to rise in the East and set in the West. Nope! The defeat you take against me is real and not imaginary.

Scott:  Thanks for your time in granting me this interview. I wish you the best of luck in your Mixed Tag Team match against Violet Amelia Holt and Dustin Holt.

Bea:  Thanks, Scott, but there is no luck involved as it is pure skill on my part.

Scott gives the signal to the cameraman that his interview with Bea is done and the cameraman cuts his feed and the screen goes black.


190
Climax Control Archives / AGGRESSIVE
« on: April 24, 2020, 04:08:14 PM »
 AGGRESSIVE

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart is an aggressive wrestler but how aggressive can he get and what are the reason, or reasons, behind him becoming more aggressive? Once you hear his story you will understand and never doubt him again. To use a catchphrase from a well known tabloid ENQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW!

OFF CAMERA

BULLIES IN SCHOOL   

We are taken back 25 years to Oakland, California. Bill’s parents lived in a house at 4263 Saint Andrews Road in Oakland. William Barnhart, Bill Barnhart’s father, was a Master Chief Petty Officer in the United States Navy stationed at the Naval Air Station in Alameda, California. At this point in time Bill Barnhart was 11 years old and about to graduate from Elementary School to Middle School. Bill received a lot of teasing and bullying due to having a father who served in the Military as that wasn’t a common thing in those days.

>

Bill Barnhart:  Under Category 5 you see hurricanes in this category have winds of 157 miles per hour and higher. After the crap I went through against my half-brother Chris Shipman, I’m so far beyond a Category 5 hurricane level that the chart cannot measure my intensity. Kris if you think I’m gonna back down against you in our match you’re wrong! If you think you can hurt me and destroy me and get a win over me you’re wrong! If you think your threats and bragging comments are gonna make me back down you’re wrong. Let me put it this way Ryans. In order for you to defeat me in our match you would have to be the luckiest person in the Universe. How lucky would you have to be? In order to defeat me you would have to be so damn lucky that you could win the Lottery, capture a Leprechaun, get struck by lightning and survive, capture a Genie in a bottle and get your three wishes granted, and find the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, at the same time, every day for a week. Not a chance in Hell that will happen! The only luck you will face is the bad luck of having to face me at Climax Control 266. You’ve been warned!

Bill takes a break to pull out a can of Classic Coke. He drinks it, crushes the can, then tosses the can across the room where it lands cleanly in a small trash can.

Bill:  Kris you’re probably assuming I think you are a joke of a wrestler, you are not talented, and I feel you’re a waste of my time. Nah! I don’t think any of that. I did research and I see you held the Heavyweight Championship for approximately 190 days. I see you also held the Roulette Championship twice with one run at nearly 170 days and the other at around 90 days. I also heard you vacated the Heavyweight Championship due to an injury, that you lost one of the Roulette Championships to another wrestler, and the second Roulette Championship you had to vacate as it was directed by Sin City Wrestling Management. To use round numbers, as I don’t really like odd numbers, that means you held three Championships for a total of approximately 450 days. Hell, Kris, using the number 450 I will state that you’re not likely to delay me defeating you in our upcoming match for 450 seconds. And since you are probably not into Math that 450 seconds equates to approximately 7.5 minutes. Please laugh yourself silly now Kris because you damn sure won’t be laughing when I walk away from our match as the winner where you don’t last long in our match.

Bill shuffles the papers concerning dealings with his half-brother Chris Shipman then places the stack of papers to the side of the table.

Bill:  There’s more to our match than my superior wrestling skills and you praying you’ll be so damn lucky that you can last longer than 7.5 minutes with me before you lose the match. Several years ago Doctor Kim, my family doctor, taught me how to keep my inner demon under control and to unleash it only when I say, keep it fully under my control, then return my inner demon inside of me and under my control when I am done utilizing it. Recently, here in Sin City Wrestling, I’ve had to endure opponents who were jerks, assholes, aggressive, and cheating, and I finally had enough. After Blaze of Glory VIII there was a decision I needed to make. That decision was whether I would continue with Doctor Kim’s suggestions on how to keep my inner demon under control or to step back on the controls and let the inner demon come out whenever it wanted to. Now, Ryans, it comes down to some basic items. I’ll allow the inner demon to come out. I’ll allow the inner demon to dominate to where I destroy opponent after opponent until nobody is left standing. I’ll send the inner demon back into confinement inside of me when I’m done. No, Kris, the inner demon does not have total control over me. I have total control over the inner demon. I have the control to allow the aggressiveness to dominate to where I can inflict a hell of a lot of punishment and damage on opponents all within the rules of the match. How is that you ask? I’ll explain it to you.

Bill pulls out another can of Classic Coke and downs it and again tosses it across the room where it lands cleanly in the small trash can.

Bill:  Here’s how I inflict pain and suffering on opponents, utilizing my wrestling skills and the energy of my inner demon, without violating the rules of the match. When I use my Barnhart Shoulder Breaker Flying Hammer Lock there’s a lot of pressure applied to the arm and shoulder of my opponent. If my opponent is smart, which most are not, they’ll submit and I release the hold and they don’t suffer too much pain or damage. But if my opponent refuses to give up, or the Referee is slow to call the match in my favor, the extreme pressure on their arm and shoulder can result in a broken arm, dislocated shoulder, or both. With my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold I apply pressure to the neck and head of my opponent. If my opponent is smart, which most are not, they’ll submit before they go unconscious. If they refuse to submit, or if the Referee is slow to call the match in my favor, then my opponent will suffer from lack of oxygen and suffer damage that might leave them dizzy and disoriented for hours, days, or weeks. Same with my Figure-Four Leg Lock. Lots of pressure on the opponent’s legs and knees and if they refuse to submit. . . well that’s their fault.

A general smile comes on Bill’s face.

Bill:  There’s a problem with wrestlers like you Kris. You obtained Championships three times and suddenly you have an ego larger than the State of Texas. *YAWN* Earning three Championships is old news these days, and nothing worth bragging about, when there are Grand Slams and Five Star Champion status to achieve. You, and others, brag you’ve held Championships in Sin City Wrestling three times? When I was in Asylum Wrestling Alliance I was there 8 years and I became a multiple-time Triple Crown achiever and a two-time Grand Slam achiever. I was achieving those goals so often people got bored. So Management created a special new Championship so that wrestlers who have obtained the four previous Championships to obtain the Grand Slam can then obtain the new special Championship they created, called the Five Star Championship. I wasn’t able to obtain the Five Star Champion award only because Asylum Wrestling Alliance decided to close their doors shortly after creating the fifth Championship and I was not assigned to a match for that newly created Championship. So brag if you want about your three Championships but your achievement falls short of what I accomplished in Asylum Wrestling Alliance and what I will accomplish here in Sin City Wrestling.

A larger smile comes on the face of Bill.

Bill:  Kris I come into our match at 6 feet 4 inches and 240 pounds and you come into our match at 5 feet 11 inches and 195 pounds. Although height and weight in a wrestling match are not the only deciding factors you’re at a disadvantage giving up 5 inches of height and 47 pounds of weight to me. The other thing I wish to mention is that you selected the wrong time to come out of retirement because at Climax Control 266 I will quickly send you back into retirement.

This time a huge grin comes on Bill’s face.  

Bill:  What’s it gonna to be Kris? Are you gonna be stubborn and defiant against me and risk permanent injury or will you be smart and realize I own you and the only way you get out of the match without extreme damage is to tap out and submit to me? The football is in your hands. Make sure you don’t fumble it.

Bill informs the studio crew he is done with his comments for this segment and he starts packing up his items to leave the studio. As he packs his things the scene slowly fades out and transitions into a commercial break.


191
Supercard Archives / CANDY (c) v BEA BARNHART
« on: April 08, 2020, 11:08:37 AM »
 HAPPY

Narrator:  Bea Barnhart is very happy leading into her match at Blaze of Glory VIII. She is happy she has a shot at the Bombshell Roulette Championship against Candy. She is happy she will earn the Bombshell Roulette Championship. She is happy she has the greatest husband in Bill Barnhart.

The scene switches to a shot of Bea Barnhart in their hotel room where she is waiting for the cameraman to get set up and inform her when they are live broadcasting. While waiting on the cameraman she decides to play a song on the Karaoke machine she and Bill brought with them to have entertainment in their hotel room. Bea is unaware that the cameraman has already finished his setting up and is already broadcasting live. Bea presses the play button and the song DA DO RON RON by The Crystals hits on the Karaoke machine and Bea starts singing.

>

I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron
Somebody told me that his name was Bill
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron

Yeah, my heart stood still
Yes, his name was Bill
And when he walked me home
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron

I knew what he was doing when he caught my eye
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron
He looked so quiet but my oh my
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron

Yeah, he caught my eye
Yes, oh my, oh my
And when he walked me home
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron

Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron

He picked me up at seven and he looked so fine
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron
Someday soon I'm gonna make him mine
Da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron

Yeah, he looked so fine,
Yes, I'll make him mine…

Bea finishes singing Da Do Ron Ron by The Crystals and then she realizes the cameraman was broadcasting her performance when she thought she was doing it before the broadcast began. She turns the Karaoke machine off then turns to the camera to launch into her presentation for today.

Bea:  Oh! I did not realize the cameraman started broadcasting. At least I did a great performance of Da Do Ron Ron by The Crystals. Speaking of great performances I will give a great performance at Blaze of Glory VIII by defeating Candy and earning the Bombshell Roulette Championship. Yeah I know there are doubters about my chances of becoming the Bombshell Roulette Champion but they will become believers when I win the match. I am happy I earned this Championship match. I am happy that Candy’s team in the Blast From The Past Tournament lost so that my Championship match against here would not be delayed. Now Candy has nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. At Blaze of Glory VIII her demise at my hands is a sure thing.

Bea sits in a chair.

Bea:  I love the song Da Do Ron Ron by The Crystals as I also have a fantastic man named Bill. It was love at first sight and our love grows daily. Aw, Candy, you must be jealous that you do not have a studly handsome loving sexy husband like I do but you just have to deal with that just like you are going to have to deal with me dethroning you as Sin City Wrestling Bombshell Roulette Champion.

Bea crosses her legs and looks at the watch on her wrist.

Bea:  Well, Candy, time keeps ticking away to Blaze of Glory VII and when the last second ticks off the clock you can no longer avoid defending the Bombshell Roulette Championship against me. I know you wanted to win your Blast From the Past Tournament match, so you could delay defending the Championship against me, but your wishes did not come true. See what happens when you piss off the wrestling spirits? I am going to rock the Golden Ring Casino to the point where the shockwave I create will never be forgotten. Am I being over-confident? No! Am I taking you lightly? No! Are you a pathetic Cockroach I need to exterminate? Yes! Here is the deal Candy. You are a good wrestler and your win over Sam Marlowe showed that and your defenses of the Bombshell Roulette Championship, so far anyway, have also shown that. I am sure everyone wants to know what my thoughts are going into this match and I will tell them.

Bea uncrosses her legs, pauses for a drink of water, then crosses her legs again.

Bea:  Candy, there is no height or weight advantage for either of us in this match. With you at 5 feet 6 inches and 125 pounds, and me at 5 feet 5 inches and 130 pounds, neither of us has an advantage in those areas. So where is the advantage between us? Some will claim your wrestling experience versus mine says you have the advantage by having more matches and more experience. But I have done research and uncovered all I need to know to defeat you. I watched all your matches and I have seen where you are consistent in certain things. Things such as hesitating when you should be taking action. Going to the left when you should have gone to the right. Going to the right when you should have gone to the left. Not following up on your opponent when you gained an advantage over them. I watched your matches at normal speed, and in slow-motion, so that I fully understand the timing of your mistakes and how and when to take advantage of them. I will be watching for those things in our match and I will take advantage of every mistake you make. It comes down to timing and my timing is better than yours. What you say? You cannot be taken advantage of by wrestlers in a match? From what I saw at Climax Control 265 Diamond damn sure took advantage of you and made you tap out and your team was eliminated from the Blast From The Past Tournament.

Bea uncrosses her legs.

Bea:  Although you have been in wrestling longer than me, and you have good wrestling skills, everyone has an Achilles Heel and I have found several of them with you. For sure Diamond found one of your weaknesses in your Blast From The Past Tournament Match. I have done my research. I have paid attention. I have my timing down. I have the information, and the skills, needed to take you on and take you out at Blaze of Glory VIII.

Bea stands up as the cameraman gets in for a close-up shot of her.

Bea:  Candy you are a good wrestler. You have been a good Bombshell Roulette Champion. You did defeat a good wrestler to earn the Championship. None of these things are in doubt. The only thing in doubt is your ability to defeat me. Yeah, okay, you talk a good game but you will not be able to back it up against me. You see, Candy, you have spewed forth so much bullshit leading up to our match that I could take all of what you spewed forth and cover the entire State of Texas with three feet of manure and still have a lot left over. Your words are not enough to defeat me. Your idle threats are not enough to defeat me. Beating on your chest with your fists is not enough to defeat me. The only way you can defeat me is to overcome what I bring to the ring but I know you cannot accomplish that. From what I have heard you state publicly I have to make the comment that for a wrestler to talk down on themselves, while their opponent is saying nice things about their wrestling abilities, is extremely telling. If you publicly announce doubts about your abilities in the wrestling ring then you have already lost the match. Since I already explained to you why you will lose the Bombshell Roulette Championship to me if you are still unaware of what I am talking about then you were not paying attention. Oh, man, how happy I will be when I become the next Sin City Wrestling Bombshell Roulette Champion!

Bea is done with her comments and she waves into the camera as the scene switches back to regularly scheduled programming.


192
Supercard Archives / SENOR VINNIE v BILL BARNHART
« on: April 08, 2020, 11:05:14 AM »
 D’OH!

Narrator:  D’OH! is an exclamation uttered by Homer Simpson when he has done something stupid and realizes he has done something stupid. Unfortunately most people, Senor Vinnie and Pete the Cactus included, rarely realize when they have done something stupid.

We meet up with Bill Barnhart, along with his wife and Manager Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, in their hotel room at the Saxon Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada. The three are sitting on the couch waiting for the cameraman to inform them they are broadcasting. Once the cameraman informs them they are broadcasting Bill and Bea launch into their comments.

Bill:  Thank you for joining us today. We are in our hotel room, at the Saxon Hotel, in Las Vegas, Nevada, getting ready for Blaze of Glory VIII at the Golden Ring Casino. At this event I have a grudge match against Senor Vinnie. In this match I will either end the wrestling career of Senor Vinnie, for him allowing Pete the Cactus to sexually harass Iris, or I will injure him so badly he will consider retirement.

Bea:  Although I am upset that Vinnie and Pete violated the one-date rule that took place between Pete the Cactus and Iris due to you losing the previous match against Senor Vinnie I am not sure having the desire to end the wrestling career of Vinnie is the way you should enter this match. Then again Vinnie does have the habit of claiming no responsibility for the actions of Pete the Cactus when we all know he is the puppet master controlling Pete.

Bill:  I fully blame Senor Vinnie for the behavior of Pete the Cactus. Pete is Vinnie’s puppet. Vinnie you have your hand up Pete’s ass making Pete move and talk. You have done nothing to stop Pete the Pervert from bribing Iris with food so that he can take advantage of her. Both of you know Iris is an easy mark when it comes to bribing her with food. You know what Vinnie? I don’t care that you believe since Iris and Pete are adults, in their respective ages for a Cactus and an English Bulldog, that they can do what they want. What you are missing, Vinnie, is that Iris does not have much in the way of comprehending abilities but she does know food when she sees it. Pete is taking advantage of the food desires of Iris to sexually harass and abuse Iris and you have done nothing to stop it because you are controlling Pete the Puppet.

Bea:  When you put it that way I see why you feel the way you do.

Bill:  Vinnie and Pete I wish to have you look at something. I know you are aware who Homer Simpson is and what his favorite exclamation is. For your benefit, so both of you have a graphic representation what I am discussing, I ask the Network to put up on the screen the first graphic I sent to them.

The Network puts up the first graphic.

>

After leaving the two graphics on the screen long enough for everyone to look at them again the Network cuts the camera feed and the screen goes black.


193
Supercard Archives / SENOR VINNIE v BILL BARNHART
« on: April 01, 2020, 11:02:26 AM »
 FORTUNE

Narrator  If there is one thing Bill Barnhart hates it is being blindsided by others and then for something he feels strongly against.

OFF CAMERA

* This is a presentation of a video taken prior to the quarantine requested by Sin City Wrestling to have their staff and wrestlers remain in Las Vegas. This situation took place about a month before the Corona Virus thing was known. *

We get a shot of Bea Barnhart  driving their car in Atlanta, Georgia. Bill Barnhart is sitting in the passenger seat. Iris is not with them so we make the assumption they are going to a location where pets are not allowed inside so they left her at their home in Lawrenceville, Georgia.

Bill:  You have not told me where we are going. You know I do not like surprises or being blindsided. I like knowing ahead of time what is going on.

Bea:  Chill out Bill. You will enjoy this trip. It will be fun.

Bill:  The last time you surprised me by taking me to somewhere you promised would be fun and exciting we ended up dining at a Sushi restaurant. Why would you think I would enjoy eating fish, and raw fish at that, when you know I do not like eating seafood? Yeah, uh huh, I can already tell this current trip is gonna be a bust.

Bea:  We are here! Let me park the car and we can get inside and let the fun begin!

Bill and Bea exit the car and Bea leads Bill around the corner to the front of the business they are visiting. Bill sees the FORTUNE TELLER sign on the front of the building and he quickly turns and tries to make a getaway. Bea grabs him by the arm and drags him inside the Fortune Teller business. While waiting for someone to serve them Bill continues with his negative comments.

Bill:  Why did you bring me here? You know Fortune Tellers are scammers who just want to take your money. They have no clue what they are doing and for sure they do not know the future. If they could see the future then why are they not all Millionaires living in huge mansions due to knowing the Lottery numbers ahead of time? No they are poor and they rip off  honest people like us so that they can pay their rent and have food to eat. If anyone could really see into the future they would use it for their financial gain.

Bea: Stop the negative thoughts Bill. Try to have fun with this.

As Bill and Bea are talking a woman walks out from the back room. She has blonde hair and she is wearing a blue outfit and a blue head covering and she is wearing blue and white jewelry. She introduces herself.

>

Miss Starzz:  I am Miss Starzz and I will be telling you what your future will be. I am one of the best fortune tellers in the world and I can see into the future. And who might you two be?

Bea:  We are. . .

Bea is cut off by Bill.

Bill:  Not so fast! Do not say anything else Bea! Listen up Miss Starzz if you were able to see into the future, and you claim that you see all and know all, then you already know who we are. The fact that Bea set an appointment for this time slot, and we are standing in front of you, and you have no clue who we are, proves you are a scammer and cannot see your reflection in the mirror let alone the future! I am outta here Bea!

Bea looks apologetically toward Miss Starzz.

Bea:  Sorry about this Miss Starzz. We have to leave but maybe we can do this another time.

Bill:  NO!!! There will never be another time to get scammed by people like Miss Starzz!

Bill rushes for the door with Bea close behind them. They walk down the sidewalk to where their car is parked, get in, and Bea drives off to return to their home in Lawrenceville, Georgia.

* End of presentation of a video taken prior to the quarantine requested by Sin City Wrestling to have their staff and wrestlers remain in Las Vegas. This situation took place about a month before the Corona Virus thing was known. *

ON CAMERA

The scene shifts to Bill and Bea Barnhart inside the Golden Ring Casino but Iris is not with them at this time. Bill and Bea walk around the Casino and they ask someone where the wrestling ring will be set up for Blaze of Glory VIII and they are directed to the location. Bill and Bea stand at the entrance to this room to present comments for the match Bill has with Senor Vinnie on April 12, 2020. Bill is in his normal casual attire consisting of blue jeans, a black pullover shirt, and black athletic shoes. Bea is wearing black slacks, a white blouse, and black shoes.

Bill:  Guess what today is? It is April 1st and that means it is April Fool’s Day and today I get to address two fools named Senor Vinnie and Pete the Cactus.  In a little over one week I will step into the wrestling ring, in this room, against Senor Vinnie. This match came about when I was trying to have an intelligent and logical discussion with Vinnie that when he defeated me in our precious match that Pete the Cactus could have A dinner date with Iris our English Bulldog. The way we interpret A is that it means ONE so in our opinion one date means one date. But, no, Senor Vinnie allowed Pete the Cactus to continually harass and stalk Iris for more and more dates. Iris, not being the most intelligent English Bulldog in the litter, is not able to comprehend what Pete is doing to her. At Climax Control 265 everyone saw that our polite conversation about Pete and Iris having numerous dates quickly deteriorated to where I was about to beat the beejeebers out of Vinnie but he gave me a shot and we separated for a time. Later we had another altercation which led to this grudge match at Blaze of Glory VIII.

Bea:  Maybe Vinnie needs to visit a Fortune Teller so they can look into his future and explain to him how he is going to lose this match to you and how badly you are going to beat him down.

Bill:  For damn sure I do not need to consult a Fortune Teller, Tarot Cards, an Astrology chart, or visit a Voodoo Lady, to know that I am going to hurt  you so much Vinnie. The damage I inflict on you will be so much that you will either retire from wrestling or you will take several months off from wrestling to recuperate from the damage I inflict on you.

Bea:  I wish to issue a warning to Pete the Cactus. If you confront Iris during the match, or you harass her, or in any way interfere in the match, the next thing you will know is that you have been processed to become an ingredient in a soap bar or sunscreen. Both of us have had enough of you being a sexual pervert and sexually harassing Iris. If you want to bring it on and bring it to me and Iris I will ensure that the Paramedics bring you to the Intensive Care Unit of the nearest hospital.

Bill:  Or to the nearest processing plant for Pete the Cactus so they can turn him into an ingredient for soap or sunscreen. Ha ha ha! Listen up Vinnie. I do not want to hurt you and Pete but you two took advantage of our low-intelligence Bulldog Iris and that goes beyond disgusting. When I screamed at you that I wish I could get you into a match to end this feud and end the dating between Pete and Iris you immediately accepted. You could have said no but you did not. So on the line in this match is not just our pride but the respect and dignity of Iris. If you win, but you will not, then the dating between Pete and Iris is allowed to continue. When I win, and I will, the dating between Pete and Iris ends immediately upon the announcement of my victory over you.

Bea:  Thanks for joining us for our presentation.

Bea informs the cameraman they are done with their comments for today. The camera feed is cut and the screen goes dark.


194
Supercard Archives / CANDY (c) v BEA BARNHART
« on: April 01, 2020, 10:51:06 AM »
 MAKE THEM SUFFOCATE

OFF CAMERA

* This is a scene of Bill and Bea and Iris shopping in Lawrenceville, Georgia, which took place before the requirement to have Sin City Wrestling staff and wrestlers stay in Las Vegas, Nevada, until the Corona virus this has passed *

Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, are out on a shopping expedition. Their first stop is at Home Depot located on Lawrenceville Highway in Lilburn Georgia. They are strolling through the outdoor and garden department. Bill is looking at all the items typically associated with men such as bricks, stones, garden tools, lawnmowers, and weed whackers. Bea is browsing around looking at items typically associated with men such as flowers, plant containers, and lawn ornaments.

Bill:  Oooooo! Nice to have that lawnmower, that leaf blower, and that weed whacker!

Bea:  Bill those three items combined come to a cost of around five hundred dollars. We pay our neighbors Edgar and Nelly fifty dollars per month and they to the mowing, edging, weeding, and other things, and that is a great price for us. No need for us to spend five hundred dollars for items you might use once or twice then leave the items sitting in the garage gathering dust.

Bill:  Why would you think I would not be using the garden tools a lot?

Bea:  Oh let me think about that question eh? How about because you are a professional wrestler and we are on the road at wrestling events about nine months out of the year. That is one of the reasons we ask Edgar and Nelly to do the yard work for us. We are not here enough during the year to take care of things in the yard. Since they live a short distance down the street they are always available.

Bill:  Oh yeah I remember now. I guess the look of the garden equipment got me overly excited.

Bea:  When I look at you I always get overly excited.

They continue walking through the outdoor and garden department of Home Depot. Bea starts looking at garden items such as garden gnomes, plaster animals to place around the garden, plant bulbs, potted plants, and various designs of small windmill items for her garden. Iris starts whining pulling and when Bill and Bea look at what she is seeing the realize Iris is infatuated with an imitation cactus plant a person can put into their garden.

Iris:  *howl* *bark* *whine* (translation:  *Pete* *cactus* *whine*)

Bea:  Oh no Iris! That is enough! I thought you had a crush on Uga the Bulldog from the University of Georgia in Athens, Georgia, but now you seem to have a crush on Pete the Cactus? You two were not even getting along on your dates so why you want to be with him is beyond our comprehension. We are going to put a stop to you and Pete dating.

Iris lets out a snort of disapproval.

Iris:  *snort*

Bill:  Keep it up with your attitude Iris and the next time we go shopping you will be left at home. You have a choice to behave and come with us when we shop or you stay home and we go shopping without you. What is it gonna be?

Iris stops complaining and she walks over to Daddy Bill and nudges her hand with her nose to get petting and Daddy Bill pets Iris and now Iris seems to be okay and no longer distracted.

* end of segment that took place in Lawrenceville, Georgia, which took place before the requirement to have Sin City Wrestling staff and wrestlers stay in Las Vegas, Nevada, until the Corona virus this has passed *

ON CAMERA

Narrator:  I spoke with Bea Barnhart before coming up with my introduction for her comments today. She said she is upset at Travis Levitt for letting her Blast From The Past team to suffer a loss at Climax Control 262 that eliminated their team from the Tournament, due to him not holding up his end of the tag team. Bea also told me she was so happy to see Candy’s Blast From The Past team get eliminated in the Tournament which allows Bea to have her shot at the Bombshell Roulette Championship against Candy at Blaze of Glory VIII. Without further delay I turn you over to Bea Barnhart.

We switch to Bea Barnhart in her hotel room at the Saxon Hotel. Bea is dressed in blue jeans, a white casual buttoned shirt, and black athletic shoes. Bill Barnhart is not seen in the shot and the same with Iris.

Bea:  The first thing I would like to do is to inform Travis Levitt that I am disappointed in him for not carrying his half of our Blast From The Past Tournament team. We lost our match and we are out of the Tournament. I am not upset or disappointed that we lost in the Tournament as only the winning teams can advance. What I am upset and disappointed about is that Travis Levitt entered the Tournament, got drawn to team with me, and failed to uphold his half of our tag team. My husband, Bill, has asked that he could have a match against Travis Levitt so that he can issue justice on the wrestler who caused our Tournament team to lose.

Bea smiles into the camera.

Bea:  Today is April 1st which means it is April Fool’s Day. How appropriate is that when you consider my next opponent, at Blaze of Glory VIII, is Candy the current Bombshell Roulette Champion and the Roulette Championship is on the line. There was a chance that Candy’s team would advance in the Blast From the Past Tournament and then my shot at the Bombshell Roulette Championship would have been delayed. But guess what happened Candy? You bragged, you boasted, you said you were invincible, but what happened? In your Blast From The Past match at Climax Control 265, you not only lost the match for your team, you were made to tap out by Diamond. I hope you enjoyed tapping out to millions of viewers in that match because I am planning on making you tap out when I win the Roulette Championship from you by submission. I am not trying to make you appear to be a weak or pathetic wrestler. You did defeat Sam Marlowe on January 5, 2020, and you have held onto the Bombshell Roulette Championship for three months. Enjoy holding that Championship for a little while longer because on April 12, 2020, I earn possession of the Bombshell Roulette Championship while you walk away as the loser. So many wrestlers, and you are included in that comment, are those who look at me look at me and wish I fail in my wrestling matches. With that on your mind I would like to present a graphic for you. At this time I ask the Network to put up the graphic I gave them.

>

Bill and Bea position themselves between the camera and the sunset backdrop and they lift their beer glasses up and make a toast to the upcoming victory of Bea over Candy for the Bombshell Roulette Championship. They take a drink of their beer and then Bill take the glasses, and the backdrop, and he leaves the room again to put things away.

Bea:  I remember an incident with a wrestler in a well-known wrestling federation who finally earned a shot at the Heavyweight Championship. You would think the person, having earned his shot, would have be confident in his upcoming Championship match. But you know what this wrestler did? Since the Heavyweight Champion was a friend of his he had conflicting thoughts on the match. In one segment he would transition from bragging how he was putting friendship aside and that he has the ability to take out his friend and win the Heavyweight Championship from them. Then in his next breath he would worry what would happen to him mentally if he were to defeat his friend for the Championship. Then he would switch again to commenting that he does not believe he has the wrestling ability to defeat the Champion. If you are a wrestler, whether holding a Championship, or in my case challenging for a Championship, you damn well better be confident and leave all doubt behind or you are going to lose the match. I have absolutely no doubts I will defeat you Candy and become the next Sin City Wrestling Bombshell Roulette Champion. I have absolutely no doubts about my wrestling abilities. And even if we were friends, which we are not, I would put our friendship aside to defeat you for the Championship.

Bill:  Well stated Bea.

Bea:  Candy if you think I care about you and your wrestling career, if you think I am going to back down and not want to defeat you since you are a good wrestler and you are the current Bombshell Roulette Champion, you are wrong. I only care about my wrestling career and the wrestling career of my husband Bill Barnhart. What I care about is that I earned a shot at the Roulette Championship regardless who happens to be holding it when they schedule that match. It turns out you drew the worst of the lot since you lost your Blast From The Past match for your team and now you are forced to defend the Bombshell Roulette Championship against me. I know you would rather have won your Blast From The Past Tournament match, then win the entire Tournament, then win the Championship you earned a shot at, so that you could drop the Bombshell Roulette Championship so that I would have to be going after a vacated Championship. Awww, too bad you did not get your wish, now you have to defend your Championship against me. Am I taking you lightly in our match? No. Will I win and become the next Bombshell Roulette Champion? Yes. That is all I wanted to state today so, Candy, you can now return to your pathetic existence.

Bea informs the cameraman her comments for today are finished. They cut their camera feet and our screen goes black.


195
Climax Control Archives / Dmiti is a scammer and I am exposing him
« on: March 26, 2020, 08:58:54 AM »
 SCAMMERS

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart previously talked about receiving junk mail that is sent from scammers trying to scam you or by pretending to be someone or some agency they are not. Today we are on the subject of scammers who call you on the phone when you did not ask them to contact you. And, as always, Bill “The Analogy King” Barnhart will probably figure a way to bring the concept of scammers to the subject of wrestlers.

OFF CAMERA

* A segment runs that was recorded prior to Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, making the trip to Las Vegas, Nevada, to participate in Climax Control 265 *

Bill Barnhart is sitting on his couch in his living room at his home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He is holding his home phone in one hand and his cell phone in his other hand.

Bill:  I kid you not. In a one month period I get around thirty scam phone calls. Yes you heard me correctly. I get approximately one scam phone call per day. Some are people trying to sell me something. Others try to claim they are from Microsoft Support, that my computer notified them that there is a virus on my computer and if I pay them hundreds of dollars they will remove the virus for me. Others are just morons who call and stay silent and you have no clue what in the hell they are calling about.

Iris the English Bulldog runs into the living room and jumps up on the couch to snuggle with Daddy Bill. He caresses Iris and she enjoys the attention.

Bill:  Here are the laws pertaining to unsolicited and scammer callers. The laws state that the phone number they are calling from must be a valid phone number and show up on the Caller ID. Additionally the Caller ID has to be valid with the name of the caller. If the call is a recording they have to give you an option to speak to a human so you can tell them to *BLEEP* off and remove your phone number from their computer system. If they violate the laws then each violation comes with a $1,000 fine from the Government.

Iris jams her big head under the arm of Daddy Bill to ask for more petting. Bill pets Iris and she rolls onto her back to get a tummy rub.

Bill:  I stopped answering calls unless I know, beyond a doubt, the person calling is someone I know. If the phone number and Caller ID does not properly identify the caller I let it go to voicemail. If they are a valid caller they will leave a message and I will return their call. If they do not leave a message it means they are a scammer. And if they are a scammer and are stupid enough to leave a message I report them to the FCC Do Not Call Registry Complaint website and to the FBI Fraud Division. Since I am the Analogy King I can use the concept of scammer callers to most of the wrestlers I face. Most try to sell the fans, and other wrestlers, that they are something they are not just like the scammers who call you on the phone try to make you think they are something they are not. Bottom line those wrestlers are scamming the other wrestlers and the fans. They are all exposed in the end.

Iris asks for more petting from Daddy Bill and he humors her. After a short time Iris is satisfied with petting from Daddy Bill and she jumps off the couch and runs back upstairs to her bedroom.

The scene fades to black.

ON CAMERA

A scene opens on our screen. Bill Barnhart, Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, are seen sitting on the couch in their room at the Saxon Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada, and Climax Control 265 is being held at Skaggs Dungeon. The Staff and wrestlers were brought back from the overseas tour to remain in the United States until the Corona Virus thing is over so that is why this event is being held at Skaggs Dungeon in Las Vegas. At this event Bill is facing off against Dmitri. This match came about due to Dmitri issuing an open challenge to the members on the Roster and Bill Barnhart jumped up and accepted the challenge. The cameraman informs them they are live broadcasting so Bill and Bea jump into their comments for this upcoming match.

Bill: This is going to be a fun Climax Control for me since I get to face off against an old nemesis in Dmitri and. . .

The cell phone of Bill, that is on the coffee table, rings interrupting his comments. Bill looks at the caller ID which says UNKNOWN NUMBER so he ignores the call and lets it go to voicemail to see if the caller will leave a message.

Bill:  Most likely another scammer caller. Hope they leave a message on voicemail so if they are a scammer I have information to provide to the FCC and FBI when I report them. Since I got interrupted by a possible scam phone call, when I was about to talk about my match with Dmitri, I will let Bea make comments and then I will jump back in with my comments on Dmitri. Bea you said you had something important to state concerning the cancellation of the overseas tours until the Corona Virus thing passes so please go ahead with your comments.

Bea:  Thank you Bill. Before I discuss that issue I want to comment on the coward named Violet Amelia Holt attacking me recently. She is a coward because she lost to me twice, both by submission, yet she talks smack and attacks me. Her performance recently against Jessie Salco sums it up nicely. Once a loser always a loser. Now that is out of the way I can make the comments I need to make. Yes I will be in the corner of Bill, as his Manager, for his match against Dmitri, as I am no longer in the Blast From The Past Tournament, thanks to Travis Levitt blowing the Tournament for our team. Since Bill was also eliminated from the Tournament there is no longer a conflict with me being in his corner as his Manager.

Bill:  I thought you were going to comment on the cancellation of the overseas tour until the Corona Virus thing was over.

Bea:  I am getting to that. I needed to get those other comments out first. Now that I am done with those comments I wish to talk about the decision by Sin City Wrestling to cancel the overseas tour for a time until the Corona Virus thing passes. They made the decision to return our events to the United States to a venue, or venues, we know are protected and safe, until they are cleared to travel overseas again.

Bill:  Whatever Management decides is fine with me as I am here to serve Sin City Wrestling and not the other way around.

Bea:  Speaking for both of us I want you to know we are not overly concerned over the Corona Virus. Yes it is out there, and anyone can catch the virus, but over the years there has been things that come and go and to date we have not gotten ill from them. Things like SARS, Swine Flu, Bird Flu, Ebola, etc., have made the rounds and we are thankful that both of us, and Iris, have yet to become infected.  We are not saying we are immune, or that we will not get infected, but we believe prevention in keeping surfaces, and ourselves, clean is the key to not getting ill with an infection or virus.

Bill:  I do not want anyone to take the comments by Bea the wrong way as we are just as much a target to get infected as anyone else.

Bea:  As everyone knows Iris has what would classify as the most vile, evil, disgusting, and toxic, farts on the planet. At one fundraising event challenge Bill and Iris did, which was a stinky fart competition, Iris let loose one of the most vile farts in the history of vile farts, and it set off the fire sprinkler system at Georgia Gymnastics Academy in Lawrenceville, Georgia, where our fundraising event was being held, and Gwinnett County Fire Department had to send a Hazardous Material Clean-Up Crew to the building to contain the toxic spill Iris made and decontaminate the building to make it safe to occupy again. When you add into the mix that the farts of Iris can peel paint off walls, kills flies in mid-flight, knocks birds out of trees, and once she nearly caused a Boeing 747 to make an emergency landing with her smelly farts. If we have survived dealing with the vile toxic farts of Iris we are concerned, but not overly concerned, about contracting the Corona Virus. We are also taking every precaution to remain safe.

Bill:  Thanks for your comments Bea. People need to have background information to make a proper evaluation of things. Speaking of proper background information I would like to present history information between myself and Dmitri from the time we worked together in another wrestling federation.

Bea:  This is some good stuff.

Bill:  I served many years in another wrestling federation and Dmitri was also serving there. In that federation I faced off against Dmitri many times. I cannot give you a specific win-loss number we have against each other but I believe we are even in the wins and losses against the other. The problem I had with Dmitri was that he often cheated in matches then lied about his cheating. He also tried to take credit for a loss I took in Oakland, California, when the loss I took in the match was not a loss to him, as both of us lost to Casey Williams.

Bea:  The match took place in Oakland, California, which is the birthplace of Bill. At the time of the match mentioned it was also his home town as we were still living there as we did not move to the State of Georgia until August 2012. It was an interesting match where a retired Boeing 747 aircraft was used as the venue for a Triple Threat Hardcore Rules match consisting of Bill, Dmitri, and Casey Williams with the Boeing 747 aircraft parked in a remote area of Oakland International Airport.

Bill:  Most of what I relate here is first-hand knowledge as I was involved in the match. The other information I gained from watching the replay during those periods of time when I was knocked unconscious during the match. The Hardcore Rules match was going well with each of us getting the upper hand but nobody at that point in the match was able to get the win. The three of us were fighting it out in the main level of the Boeing 747 at the bottom of the spiral staircase that leads up to the First Class Lounge. Casey and Dmitri were violently fighting and they slammed into me and I tripped backward over something on the floor of the plane. Casey ran up the spiral staircase to the First Class Lounge with Dmitri behind him. I looked up and saw the two enter the First Class Lounge so I went for the stairway but one of the two, and I do not know which of them, kicked the spiral staircase loose and it crashed down on top of me and knocked me out.

Bea:  Casey and Dmitri kept fighting up in the First Class Lounge. After a period of time Bill regained consciousness. Bill was groggy and staggered over to where the spiral staircase used to be and he looked up into the First Class Lounge and he could see Dmitri and Casey in a violent fight. Bill realized he was not going to be able to get into the First Class Lounge, due to the spiral staircase having been knocked down, so he turned to see what he could find to stand on to try to get to the upper level where Casey and Dmitri were. The moment Bill turned his attention away from the First Class Lounge Casey grabbed Dmitri and threw him down the opening, where the spiral staircase used to be, and Dmitri landed on top of Bill knocking Bill out again.

Bill:  Here is where it get interesting and where Dmitri has, over the years, claimed a victory over me when he did not earn a victory over me. Watching the replay of the match I saw that when Dmitri was thrown down from the First Class Lounge by Casey Williams that Dmitri landed on top of me and knocked me out. Dmitri was not knocked out but he was in really bad shape and he could barely breathe let alone move. Casey slid to the opening where the spiral staircase used to me and he dropped down to the main level of the Boeing 747 aircraft and pinned Dmitri for the win. Even with absolute proof that Dmitri lost that match to Casey Williams, Dmitri claimed  he got the win over me in that match. Dmitri went beyond pathetic to claim a victory over me in a match where he was pinned by Casey for the loss. I will grant Casey Williams the respect that he won that Hardcore Rules match in a Boeing 747 aircraft in my home town of Oakland, California, and he is also the first wrestler to ever give me a loss in my home town of Oakland. Yes I did take a loss in the match, even though I was not the wrestler who was pinned or made to submit, as that is how Triple Threat Rules matches work. So when I saw Dmitri make the open challenge recently I immediately accepted his challenge so I can beat the lies out of him.

Bill grits his teeth and growls into the camera.

Bill:  The other reasons I immediately accepted Dmitri’s challenge is because Dmitri is like scammers who call on the phone and pretend to be someone, or something, they are not by claiming to have gotten the win over me in that match when he did not. Because it was Casey Williams who obtained the win in that match due to Triple Threat Rules and it was Dmitri who was directly pinned by Casey for the loss. Because it was Casey who earned my respect by being the first wrestler in my wrestling career to give me a loss in my home town not some clown who has been lying about the outcome of our match. Because I had to listen to years of Dmitri claiming he was the wrestler who defeated me in the Boeing 747 in Oakland, California, when he was not. Well, Dmitri, your bragging days are over! If you think you are going to walk into the Skaggs Dungeon and defeat me then you have been taking too many hallucinogenic drugs because you have been hallucinating for years thinking you were the wrestler to defeat me in the match I mentioned in the Boeing 747 in Oakland, California. But I can give you credit for one thing Dmitri. You earned the Sin City Wrestling Heavyweight Championship on September 3, 2017, by defeating Calvin Harris. But, and this is a big BUT Dmitri, you lost the Heavyweight Championship back to Calvin Harris three weeks later on September 24, 2017. Perhaps holding a Championship for three weeks is classified by you as a great accomplishment but I consider that short Championship run to be a great failure on your part. Hell, man, you may not even last three minutes in our match before I defeat you! But, Dmitri, there is a THREE you will clearly hear during our match. It is the ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! the Referee will count when I pin you and I get the win.

Bill smiles into the camera.

Bill:  Dmitri for as long as I have known you the bragging and scare tactics you try to use on other wrestlers is disgusting. You tend to represent yourself as the keeper of Hell and stand guard over the entrance to Hell. I am sure, Dmitri, you have heard the Tom Petty song titled I Won’t Back Down, and even if you have not heard of it I will sing for you the beginning of the song so you will understand.

Bill launches into the beginning of the song I Won’t Back Down by Tom Petty.

Bill:

Well, I won't back down
No, I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of Hell
But I won't back down

Bill is done with singing the opening of the song I Won’t Back Down by Tom Petty. The cameraman gets a close-up of Bill for his closing comments.

Bill:  Dmitri I will destroy you  at Climax Control 265 and send you on your way to the Retirement Home. If you think I am joking then get your laughing out of the way now because you will not be laughing after I win our match and leave you beaten and broken inside the ring. Have a great time leading up to our match because you are going to have the worst time of your life after I defeat you.

Bill motions to the cameraman to indicate he is done with his comments for his upcoming match. The cameraman calls into the Network and they tell him to cut his camera feed. He does so and our screen goes to black.

196
Climax Control Archives / Bill Barnhart the All-Around Guy
« on: March 10, 2020, 03:57:45 PM »
 BILL BARNART THE ALL-AROUND GUY

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart is an all-around wrestler but he is also an all-around guy when it comes to doing things around his house. When you find out how versatile and talented he is around the house you will better understand why he is versatile and talented in the wrestling ring.

OFF CAMERA

Bill Barnhart is in the kitchen at his home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He is wearing a white apron and we see he is making lasagna. When he is done putting the lasagna together he places it into the preheated oven, sets the timer, then he removes the apron and exits the kitchen.

Bill pulls out the vacuum cleaner from the laundry room and he vacuums the living room and play room downstairs then he moves to the upstairs area to vacuum the three bedrooms, the hallway, and the stairway. When he is done he empties what the vacuum cleaner picked up into the trash can and returns the vacuum cleaner to the laundry room.

We see Bill holding a large basket of laundry. He brings the laundry to the laundry room, opens the washing machine, puts laundry soap inside, places the clothes into the washer, then presses the start button and the washing machine starts up.

Bill travels to the bedrooms and bathrooms and empties the trash cans into a large trash bag. He takes the large trash bag downstairs and places it into the trash can that is located under a counter in the kitchen. Bill takes the bag out of the trash can, ties the bag closed, then takes it outside to deposit it into the trash can for the trash company to pick up on Thursday.

About two hours later.

Bill takes the laundry out of the dryer and he quickly folds everything that requires folding and hangs items on hangers that need to be hung up in the closets.

The oven times goes off and beeps to indicate the time set on the timer has completed counting down. Bill walks into the kitchen looks into the oven and sees his lasagna is done cooking. He turns off the oven timer and the oven, dons oven mittens, and removes the pan with the lasagna dish on it. He places the lasagna on top of the oven to wait for it cool down so it can be eaten without burning your mouth. Bill looks as his masterpiece lasagna and a huge smile comes on his face.

ON CAMERA

Bill and Bea Barnhart, along with their English Bulldog Iris, have returned to their home in Lawrenceville, Georgia, to take care of stuff before heading off to England for Climax Control 263. This edition of Climax Control is being held in Canterbury, Kent, England, at the Colyer-Fergusson Music Building. At this Climax Control Bill, and his partner Andrea Hernandez, will be facing off against the team of Diamond and Javi Gonzalez in their second Blast From The Past Tournament match.

Bill:  Welcome once again to our home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Yes, I know, we were just in England for Climax Control 262 so you want to know why we spent the time and money to return home to Lawrenceville, Georgia, before traveling to England again. Because we enjoy traveling and we can afford it so no reason we cannot do what we want to do and have fun doing it. At this edition of Climax Control me and Andrea Hernandez face off against Diamond and Javi Gonzalez in our second Blast From The Past Tournament. The winner of this match, our team of course, will advance in the Tournament while the losers of the match, Javi and Diamond, will go home as losers and watch us continue to be successful in the Blast From The Past Tournament, advance all the way to the finals, and win the entire event. There is no doubt we will win the entire Tournament as I am a great all-around wrestler and I take care of things that need to be taken care of. Andrea is in the same frame of mind I am that she takes care of things that need to be taken care of and she is a great wrestler. By the way, Bea, while me and Andrea will continue to win in the Blast From The Past Tournament you seem to have come up short in your Tournament match at Climax Control 262. At least that frees you up now to be in my corner at Climax Control 263 as my Manager since there is no conflict now.

A smile comes on the face of Bill and he laughs.

Bea Barnhart:  So you think it is funny that I lost my Blast From The Past Tournament match? I do not feel losing a Tournament match due to a partner failing to carry his weight in the match is funny. Lazy performance in a wrestling match is never acceptable.

Bill:  Bea you know for you to lose a match is not amusing for me. I feel your pain. But you have to admit you did a lot of bragging for being a rookie wrestler and you ended up bragging more than your team was able to deliver.

Bea:  I would not say our team was not able to deliver. I was able to deliver and I did but Travis Levitt failed to deliver and Jake Raab took him out for the win. We will get revenge on him soon.

Bill:  If that will make you feel better then go for it.

Bea:  I want to inform everyone that Bill Barnhart is a great all-around guy not just in the wrestling ring but also at home. Bill washes clothes, folds them, irons them, hangs them up and puts them in the dressers, vacuums and sweeps the floors and carpets, empties the trash, and cooks half the meals in our home. He also takes care of Iris which is not an easy chore. Today Bill is cooking a chicken in our slow cooker and I know this will be another one of his epic meals. Bill is the dream man every woman wishes they had.

Bill:  I may not be the dream man every woman wishes for but I am the dream wrestler everyone wants as their partner. I am sure I am the type of wrestling tag team partner Diamond wishes she had instead of getting stuck with Javi Gonzales with bad luck hitting her on the drawing of names for teams.

Bea:  Since you love analogies do you have some you wish to present to the viewers that link to your Blast From The Past Tournament match?

Bill:  I always have analogies to present so here are my analogies using the things I do around the house to focus on wrestling and opponents. I cook great dishes in the kitchen. I can cook for you two an ass kicking casserole that will leave you  with a sore butt for a week. I can whip up an omelet with everything I can think of rolled up inside of it and cram it down your throats and choke what little wrestling ability you have out of you. I wash dirty wrestlers like I wash dishes. I wash clothes to get the dirty stuff out of them and I will wash the dirty stuff out of you two. I will vacuum you two like I vacuum our carpets then dump your filth into the trash can. I bag trashy wrestlers like you, like I bag the trash here at home, and take you out to the trash container for the trash company to pick up and take to the County dump to bury you in the landfill. If you do not like me doing all those things to you then you have options available. If you do not wish to face off against Andrea Hernandez and me then your first option is to no-show for the match and we will take the default win because you are cowards. Your second option is to crawl in to the office of Management and beg them to postpone our match so you can face a team that is less awesome than we are. Good luck with that attempt. Your final option, when the other options fail, is to get your pathetic asses into the ring at Climax Control 263 and wrestle against our team. No matter what option, or options, you are able to obtain, the end result is the same. Our team wins and your team loses.

Bea:  Oooooo Bill! You are sooooo sexy when you talk smack!

Bill:  I am sooooo sexy all the time. And I am not talking smack. I am talking truth.

Bea:  I would like to ask you a question I am sure many viewers want to ask. Would you say your comments about Javi and Diamond will cause them to be butt hurt by your comments?

Bill:  I do not give a damn if they are butt hurt over my comments. I am not here to stroke other wrestlers, smile at them, and make them feel good. I am here to punch other wrestlers, snarl at them, and make them feel as worthless as they truly are. I am not going to stop telling the truth about opponents because they do not like what I say. When you are a one-dimensional wrestler, two-dimensional at best, as Diamond and Javi are, they tend to get offended by everyone who is better than they are.

Bea:  Okay.

Iris, their English Bulldog, walks into the room and she looks around with her typical confused look and then she decides to walk over to Daddy Bill to ask for petting. Bill starts to pet Iris and she lets out soft moaning and then she drops to the floor and flips on her back to get her tummy rubbed. Daddy Bill rubs the tummy of Iris and she is enjoying it so much she is about to pass out. When Bill stops rubbing the tummy of Iris she reaches up with her paw and drags the hand of Daddy Bill back to her tummy for more tummy rubs.

Bill:  Listen carefully Javi and Diamond. Me and Andrea are thrilled we have the opportunity to show the world we are better wrestlers than you are and better than you can ever hope to be. The benefit our team has is Andrea is a fantastic wrestler who stays focused in her matches. She takes advantage of the slightest mistake made by opponents. If you do not believe me on that statement ask Bea as she made a mistake in her match against Andrea and took a loss when Andrea took advantage of her mistake.

Bea:  Hey!

Bill:  Hey what? You held your own in that match with Andrea for a time but when you made an error during the match Andrea quickly took advantage of it and you lost. As for our opponents at Climax Control 263 when you doubt and hesitate yourselves you have already lost the match.

Iris is running around giving the indication she wants to go out to potty. Since Bill wants to take a walk he decides to bring Iris out on her leash to take her on her potty break walk. Once the leash is attached to the collar of Iris the two head for the front door where Bill stops for a moment to make closing comments.

Bill:  Diamond and Javi I could claim I feel sorry for you two but that would be a lie and I am not a liar. I do not care about you two. I do not feel sorry for you. I do not care if your feelings get hurt when we defeat you. You can beg, plead, and cry, for mercy but you will not receive any from me or Andrea. We are in this Blast From The Past Tournament match to win and advance in the Tournament. We did not enter the Tournament to lose. We entered the Tournament to win. But not just to win a match or two but to win the entire Tournament. You need to deal with that because you do not have a choice in the outcome of our match. We will out-wrestle, out-maneuver, and out-class you so that you two will be so humiliated you will wear brown paper bags over your heads for weeks to hide your identities. Thanks for tuning in with me but I have had enough of talking to our pathetic opponents. I need to get Iris on her potty break walk so she does not have an accident on our carpet.

Bill opens the front door and he and Iris go outside. Bill closes and locks the front door and the scene ends.


197
Climax Control Archives / Mean What You Say
« on: March 04, 2020, 10:06:20 AM »
 SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY

Narrator:  Bea Barnhart has taken on the mental attitude of her husband, Bill Barnhart, in that she says what she means and means what she says. I will turn you over to Bea Barnhart who is presenting her comments for today from the conference room at the Bootham Crescent, in York, England which is where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 262. This is the event where Bea, along with her tag team partner Travis Levitt, wrestle in their Blast From The Past Tournament match against the team of Denise Andrews and Jake Raab.

The scene switches to a shot of Bea Barnhart in a Conference Room at the Bootham Crescent in York, England, where she is presenting comments. Bea is standing at the podium on the stage and she is dressed in her trademark blue dress she usually wears when serving as the Manager for her husband Bill Barnhart during his wrestling matches. There is a bottle of water on the podium but we also notice an empty bottle that looks like the type of bottle you purchase salad dressing in. There is a large television screen hanging on the wall behind her.

Bea:  Good afternoon. Thank you for attending my presentation. I have several items to present so please be patient. After I am done I will take questions from the audience. Let me start my comments by stating that my husband, Bill Barnhart, always states that you should say what you mean and mean what you say. I will now ask the people in the broadcast studio to please put the graphic I gave to them on the screen behind me.

The broadcast studio puts up the graphic they received from Bea and it shows up on the large screen behind her.

>

Bea:  You see the graphic on the screen. It says you need to say what you mean and mean what you say. Going into my match against Seleana Zdunich I said I was going to take the match to her. Of course I also stated I was going to defeat her but that is common sense if you are a wrestler. If you go into your match commenting that you expect to lose then you will, in fact, lose, I went into that match to win and that is how I performed during the match. I said what I meant and I meant what I said. I did, in fact, take it to Seleana in the match. You saw that both of us had many opportunities for the win and neither of us backed down from the other. It was toward the end of the match that I made a mistake that Seleana took advantage of and she got the pinfall win over me. Although I did not get the win I proved I can hold my own in any type of wrestling match. Congrats on your win Seleana. I honestly appreciate opponents who can get a clean win over me. Maybe somewhere down the way we will have another match. It would be a pleasure to face off against you again. You can take the graphic off the screen now.

The graphic comes off the screen and Bea continues with her comments.

Bea:  On March 8, 2020, we go into Climax Control 262. At this event me, and my tag team partner, Travis Levitt, take on the team of Denise Andrews and Jake Raab in our Blast From The Past Tournament match. Travis it is my extreme pleasure to be teamed with you in the Tournament. We intend to win this match and move on in the Tournament. That is what we say and that is what we mean. If everyone was paying attention at Climax Control 261 you saw that my husband, Bill Barnhart, and his tag team partner Andrea Hernandez, won their Blast From The Past Tournament match against the team of Chris Crippler and Bella Madison. I keep teasing Bill that there is a chance our teams could meet in the Blast From the Past Tournament if both our teams keep winning. With Andrea and Bill winning their match in the Tournament it gives me extra initiative for me and Travis to win our Tournament match. But I have talked enough about Bill and Andrea. I am here to discuss what our team will accomplish in the Blast From The Past Tournament.

Bea pauses for a moment to take a sip of water. We are, however, still wondering what the other bottle, the empty bottle, on the podium is for.

Bea:  What I see with our opponents is that Jake Raab is a drag chute for their team and he will drag Denise Andrews down to defeat against us. I realize Jake has had success against a few wrestlers in Singles competition but there is a huge difference between relying on yourself and now having to rely on your tag team partner. I feel sorry for you Denise. You got stuck with an off-the-wall, volatile, unpredictable, and unreliable partner who doubts his wrestling abilities. On the other hand I have Travis Levitt as my partner. Travis you have proven to be reliable, you have defeated several top names here, and you are confident of your wrestling abilities. I honestly feel sorry for others in the Blast From The Past Tournament who got stuck with unreliable and lame partners.

Bea takes another sip of water. She then reaches under the podium and she pulls out a small bottle of oil and another bottle of vinegar.

Bea:  Before I answer questions from those selected from the audience I wish to give a visual depiction of our opponents.

We watch as Bea opens the empty bottle then she opens the bottle of oil and the bottle of vinegar and she pours equal amounts of oil and vinegar into the empty bottle. Bea closes the oil and vinegar bottles and returns them inside the podium. She then places the cap on the bottle she just filled with equal amounts of oil and vinegar and shakes the bottle vigorously until the two substances appear to be mixed together. Bea places the shaken bottle of oil and vinegar on top of the podium where the camera person gets a shot of it and it is displayed on the large screen behind Bea. In a short amount of time the oil and vinegar separate with the oil floating on top of the vinegar proving the saying that oil and vinegar do not mix well.

Bea:  I just gave you a presentation of how well Jake Raab and Denise Andrews will be able to mix and work together. One is oil and the other is vinegar and the two will not mix for any significant length of time as the two will quickly separate and their team will self-destruct in the match. I will let you decide which of them is represented by the oil and which one is represented by the vinegar. I have my opinion on which each is but I will not spoil your guesses. I feel bad for our opponents since one of them ended up with a questionable partner while me and Travis both ended up with an outstanding partner. I will now take questions from the audience. I have time for three questions.

The staff working the press conference selects a woman from the audience.

Woman:  Why did you become the Manager for Bill Barnhart and then go into active wrestling in the Bombshell Division? Were you not satisfied working as his Manager which was a safer position for you to be in?

Bea:  I signed up to work in the Bombshell Division because I am not able to wrestle in the Male division. Just kidding! It was Bill who suggested I try out as a wrestler. After training with him, and another trainer, I started feeling confident and comfortable in the ring. Being new to the concept of being a wrestler I have a 2-2-0 win-loss record which I feel is normal for a rookie. When you  take into account my two wins were by submission, and my two losses were by pinfall, you see I am okay as both my losses came at the hands of opponents who got a clean win. I am still officially the Manager for Bill.

The staff working the press conference select a man from the audience.

Man:  Why are you so confident you can defeat Denise Andrews and Jake Raab in the Blast From The Past Tournament when you are 0-1 in Mixed Tag Team competition? Also since Jake Raab currently has two wins over Bill Barnhart how can you call him pathetic, distracted, and a person who is doubting his wrestling abilities?

Bea picks up the bottle containing the oil and vinegar that separated from each other. She then shakes the bottle again and the oil and vinegar mix up for a moment before separating again with the vinegar on the bottom and the oil floating on top of the vinegar.

Bea:  Because I am confident of my wrestling abilities and I have a great partner in Travis Levitt. Add into the mix that Jake Raab spends more time taking negatively about his own wrestling abilities and you have a recipe for failure on his part. As far as Denise Andrews she is the daughter of Travis Nathaniel Andrews. If you look at one of the other wrestler who came into Sin City Wrestling as the daughter from a wrestling family you come up with Violet Amelia Holt. Now take into account I defeated Violet twice by submission once with a sleeper hold and once with a figure-four leg lock. Just because you are a child of a wrestler, or you come from a family of wrestlers, does not equate into you being successful as a wrestler. While our opponents have three strikes against them me and Travis Levitt are standing at the plate ready to hit the pitches for grand slam home runs. While me and Travis mix together and function exceptionally well as a team you will see that Jake and Denise will not mix together, and not work together, just as the oil and vinegar in this bottle quickly separated.

Bea points to the bottle of oil and vinegar that again separated with the vinegar on the bottom and the oil floating on top of it. The staff working the press conference walks around and selects another woman from the crowd to ask a question to Bea.

Woman:  If you win your Blast From The Past Tournament match and end up having to face the team of Andrea Hernandez and Bill Barnhart would you throw the match so Bill and Andrea can move on in the Tournament?

Bea:  Hell no! If that scenario plays out where our two teams meet in the Blast From The Past Tournament I will go all out to win the match and move on in the Tournament. One thing I learned from Bill is to never have doubt, never back down, and never take a dive in a match. I discussed this with Travis and he knows I will not treat a match against the team of Andrea Hernandez and Bill Barnhart any differently than other teams. We are in the Blast From The Past Tournament to win it all and we start that winning streak by defeating Jake Raab and Denise Andrews at Climax Control 262.

More people in the audience want to ask questions but Bea told them she would take three questions to answer and she did that so the press conference is over.

Bea:  Sorry but I could only take three questions. Thanks for coming to my press conference but it is over now.

Bea turns and walks away from the podium, down the steps from the stage, and out the door into the hallway. When the door to the conference room closes after her the cameraman cuts his feed and the screen goes black.


198
Climax Control Archives / Time For Someone To Find A New Home
« on: February 24, 2020, 04:03:06 PM »
 NEW HOME

Narrator:  I wish to offer congratulations to Bea Barnhart for her win over Violet Amelia Holt at My Bloody Valentine 3 to earn Number One Contender for the Bombshell Roulette Championship. I will now ask a question. What is is like moving to a new home? If your family purchases a new home and sells the old one it is a nice experience. If you are unfortunate and something happens to your home and the insurance company refuses to pay to have your home rebuilt then your experience might be a devastating one.

OFF CAMERA

We see Bea Barnhart walking in one of the shopping areas in downtown Lawrenceville, Georgia. Bea and Bill have remained in Lawrenceville, Georgia, but they will be traveling shortly to Scotland to be in place for Climax Control 261. Bea is looking in the windows of the various shops to see what they might have that she would want to go in and look at. As she is walking down the sidewalk she comes upon a homeless woman who asks her for money and food.

>

The graphic Bea asked the Network to put up is on our screen. We need no explanation of the graphic as it speaks for itself. After a short time the Network removes the graphic and we return to a shot of Bea Barnhart.

Bea: Selena you can talk all the smack you want because talk is cheap. I did not just toss words around and fail in what I said I would accomplish in the sport of wrestling. I let my actions speak for me and validate my words. Now I am Number One Contender for the Bombshell Roulette Championship and I plan to dominate in Sin City Wrestling and the wrestling world every day of the week. And as I previously said you can say what you want about me but in the end you have to deal with the fact that I am the Number One Contender for the Roulette Championship and you are not!

Bea swats at a wasp that buzzed around her glass of sweet tea and the wasp decided to fly off.

Bea:  When I get my match to challenge for the Bombshell Roulette Championship I was told it should be against Candy. However there is no guarantee she will still be Roulette Champion when I am scheduled for that match. That is okay as I do not care if I am facing Candy or anyone else. I earned this Contendership for the Bombshell Roulette Championship and I am not going to waste it. Candy is the NOW of Sin City Wrestling but I am the FUTURE of Sin City Wrestling. And where does that place you Selena? You are so far down below me that you need the Hubble Space Telescope to see up to the level of my wrestling boots!

Bea appears to be ready to end the presentation for today but she continues with additional comments.

Bea:  I would like to close with comments on the Blast From the Past Tournament. I am teamed with Travis Levitt. Travis is accomplished in the wrestling ring and he defeated Caleb Storms recently which is not easy to do. I feel we have a great chance to make it to the final match and win this tournament.

Bea indicates to the cameraman she is done with her comments for today. The cameraman calls into the Network and they tell him to go ahead and cut his camera feed and he does and our screen goes black.


199
Climax Control Archives / Bill Takes Iris For A Walk
« on: February 24, 2020, 04:01:39 PM »
 BILL TAKES IRIS FOR A WALK IN SWEET WATER PARK IN LAWRENCEVILLE, GEORGIA

Narrator:  Bill and Bea Barnhart live in Lawrenceville, Georgia, about one mile from Sweet Water Park. They have remained in Georgia but will be traveling Scotland in a few days to be in place for Climax Control 261. Bill is taking their English Bulldog Iris for a walk in Sweet Water Park so I will turn you over to Bill and Iris in the park.

We get a shot of Bill Barnhart taking Iris for a walk in Sweet Water Park. Bill has a pink leash attached to the pink diamond-studded dog collar Iris is wearing. Bill looks up and sees the ever-present cameraman aiming his camera at him.

Bill Barnhart:  I am taking Iris for a walk to ensure she does her potty thing here so she will not have to pee and poop when we get home and have an accident inside the house. At least here in Sweet Water Park I can pick up the poop with a poop bag and throw it in one of their trash cans. If I Let Iris poop at home I still pick it up with a poop bag but then it has to go into my trash container at home and I have to clean the carpet. If you are familiar with the stench Iris can create with the stuff she eats and drinks you know why I would rather deposit her poop in the trash cans at the park. To be honest Gwinnett County Parks Department should thank me for doing that because once I drop a bag of poop Iris deposited in one of their trash cans all the bugs, flies, and rodents, leave the park and migrate to a safer environment. But does Gwinnett County Parks Department thank me for offering our free pest eradication services? Nope! Ungrateful! Come on Iris. Enjoy the park and let your stuff fly. Do your thing girl.

Iris sniffs around to try to find just the right spot to pee and poop. It is a doggy thing, code, law, or something, for dogs that if you miss just the right spot all the other dogs will tease you about missing the spot and that doggy teasing can be brutal. Iris finds what Bill believes is one of those just the right spots and he is correct. Iris sniffs deeply and then she squats and poops in the exact spot where she was sniffing. When done Iris steps forward and then does the typical doggy thing of kicking her back legs spraying up dust and rocks in the direction of her poop. Bill brings out a poop bag and picks up the poop Iris deposited. The stench makes Bill gag. He walks over to the nearest trash can, lifts the lid, and drops the bag of poop into the trash can. Immediately flies hurry to leave the stench inside the trash can but most of the flies only make it about two feet falling to the ground dead.

Bill Barnhart:  That is a good item to make an analogy concerning my upcoming match at Climax Control 261 which is a Blast From the Past opening round match. My partner in the Blast From the Past tournament is a very accomplished and exciting wrestler Andrea Hernandez. Our opponents are Chris Crippler and Bella Madison. Although I cannot legitimately say you two are bum opponents, because you are not, the fact remains that we will defeat you and move on in the Blast From the Past tournament. Once we slam dunk you two,  in just the right spot, I can turn and kick up a cloud of dust and rocks at you, just as Iris did to her pile of poop, in a symbolic gesture that our team is burying your team in the tournament.

Bill and Iris continue their walk and Iris makes sure to pee on nearly every plant, bush, tree, and blade of grass, she can get close to. Satisfied that Iris has cleaned herself out enough to avoid an accident back at home the two turn and head back to their car for the short drive home.

Bill Barnhart:  I feel bad leaving Bea at home while I took Iris for a walk in Sweet Water Park but I know she enjoys the time we are out of the house so she can have some quiet time. Speaking of leaving Bea out of the action that is what will happen during my Blast From the Past match at Climax Control 261. Andrea I have assured you that even though Bea is officially my Manager she is banned from ringside during our match with Chris Crippler and Bella Madison. She knows I want us to win cleanly and fairly and if she were at ringside during our match everyone would try to find a way to say she had a hand in the match. I know you initially had an issue with me being selected as your partner for the Blast From the Past tournament, as you defeated Bea in a match, but I am here to tell you that whatever is between you and Bea remains between you two. I am in the Blast From the Past tournament to win the event so you know you have a dedicated partner for the tournament.

After the short one mile drive back to their home Bill parks his car in the driveway and he walks to the house with Iris. We notice a sign posted on the gate on the fence around the house, and the same sign posted on the front door of the house.

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We cannot help but chuckle at that sign because we are aware of the attitudes of both Bill Barnhart and Iris his English Bulldog.

The image comes off the screen. As soon as Bill and Iris step into the house.

Bill:  Ha ha ha!!!

Bea:  What are you laughing about?

Bill:  The sign on our gate and front door that says to do not mind the dog but beware the owner. That fits into my match at the Blast From the Past tournament against Chris Crippler and Bella Madison. They do not need to beware of my dog Iris, they need to beware of me and Andrea Hernandez.

Bea:  You are teamed with the woman who defeated me in a match recently.

Bill:  Oooooo do I feel some jealousy Bea? Remember you are not allowed at ringside during our match even though you are my Manager. Iris can come to ringside if she wants but you must remain in the backstage area or in our dressing room.

Bea:  Yeah, okay, I hear you on that one.

Bea sniffs the air.

Bea:  *sniff sniff* Okay which one of you died and smells like a broken septic tank?

Bill points his finger at Iris and Iris stretches out her paw pointing at Daddy Bill.

Bea:  Iris I know the smell your Daddy is capable of making and he could not have possibly manufactured that horrible of a smell. That means it was you Iris and since you stink worse than being downwind from a Pig farm you are going to get a bath.

The moment the word BATH comes out of the mouth of Bea we watch Iris freak out and run up the stairs where she scoots under the bed in her bedroom to try to avoid bath time.

Bea:  Enjoy hiding for now Iris as you will get a bath today as you have no choice.

Bill:  Wow, Bea, I initially felt bad that you did not want to come with us to Sweet Water Park to take Iris for a walk but I realize you enjoy the quiet time you get when I take Iris out. I am very sorry the poop or Iris was so nasty that the smell stayed close to her. Once you give her a bath she will smell good again. I mean smelling good for an English Bulldog anyway.

Bea:  Iris is a dog. She operates on doggy brain power which is not very intelligent and even more so due to her being an English Bulldog. Not bad when she has an accident at home but when we are on the road and in a hotel room or in our dressing room at a wrestling venue we have to pay for damages caused by Iris.

Bill:  Speaking of accidents and damages I have to say that Chris Crippler and Bella Madison were unfortunately drawn to be our opponents for the Blast From the Past tournament and the the damage we will put on them might put them out of action for some time.

Bill excuses himself to walk into the kitchen to get a can of Classic Coke. He pops the top and takes a drink. There is movement at the bottom of the stairway. Bill and Bea look over at the bottom of the stairway and the cameraman turns his camera to focus on that area also. We see Iris peeking around the corner. She must have heard the soda can opening so she came down to see if Daddy Bill would give her a drink. Bea plays the mean Mommy Bea by shouting something at Iris.

Bea:  BATH TIME IRIS!!!

Iris hears the word BATH and she runs up the stairs, into her bedroom, and dives under the bed to hide from having to take a bath. Bill and Bea enjoy a good hearty laugh at the expense of Iris.

Bill:  Har har har! Iris is doggone silly! Before I go into comments directed at Bella Madison and Chris Crippler for the Blast From the Past tournament I wish to talk about my match at My Bloody Valentine 3 against Senor Vinnie. It was a great match. Nobody got involved in the match to sway the decision on the match. Iris kept to herself and Pete the Cactus surprisingly behaved himself. However, as you saw at My Bloody Valentine 3, me and Senor Vinnie made a bet. Since I lost the match I also lost the bet. That means Pete the Cactus gets to have a date with Iris. Myself and Bea have decided we will not go on the date with the two to supervise them. We asked a friend of ours to go in our place as we have strong emotional ties to Iris and if Pete were to try something inappropriate we might get physical with him but our friend will be an impartial observer. To get back to my match with Senor Vinnie I commend Vinnie on his quick thinking in the match and getting the pinfall on me.

Bea leaves the room and heads upstairs. We hear the altercation she and Iris are having but when we hear Iris whining and crying and water running in the bathtub we realize Bea won the argument and Iris is getting a bath she does not enjoy getting.

Bill:  As everyone knows I am teamed with Andrea Hernandez in the Blast From The Past tournament.  Initially Andrea thought I would be a liability to her due to her defeating Bea recently in a wrestling match. So, Andrea, you now understand that I do not mind who I got teamed with in the Blast From the Past Tournament as I work well with everyone. Although there are many in the tournament who are a liability to their partner you are not one of them. Having you as my partner in the tournament is a blessing and an honor. I know you have come to understand where I stand on the tournament and you know I want to win the event. I do not care who we have to face after we eliminate Crippler and Madison but whoever is assigned to us as the tournament moves along will be defeated by us. As for Chris and Bella I will end my comments stating you two will dread the day you signed on to participate in the Blast From the Past Tournament as you will suffer a humiliating loss to me and Andrea. Have a nice day! Ha ha ha!!!

Bill motions to the cameraman to let him know his comments for this presentation are done. The cameraman calls into the Network and the Network cuts to regularly scheduled programming.


200
Supercard Archives / Bill Barnhart V Senor Vinnie
« on: February 09, 2020, 06:49:34 PM »
 SLOW DRIVERS AND A MENTALLY SLOW OPPONENT IN SENOR VINNIE

OFF CAMERA

SLOW DRIVERS

Narrator:  If there is one thing Bill Barnhart cannot stand it is slow people. His number one pet peeve consists of slow drivers. His second on his list of pet peeves is a customer who get up to the checkout counter only to run off to get another item while everyone behind them in line are waiting for them to return.

We switch over to a scene of Bill Barnhart in his car driving around Lawrenceville, Georgia, and he has a cameraman in the car with him to record the events of today. Bill quickly glances into the camera then back to watching the road ahead of him.

Bill Barnhart:  Thanks for joining me. As most of you know I have a major problem with slow people. Stuff like slow people in store checkout lines, people taking fifteen minutes to order one coffee at Starbucks and, most importantly, my number one pet peeve concerns slow drivers.

As Bill makes those comments they approach a stop light that is red so the traffic in his direction stops. The car Bill and the cameraman is in is the third car in line. While they wait for the light to change to green Bill continues his comments.

Bill Barnhart:  Iris and Bea are not with me today. Having Iris in the car while I am driving is distracting as she is not smart enough to know not to disturb me while I am driving. Bea stayed at home with Iris since Iris wants attention from her when I am not home.

The light turns green and the two cars ahead of Bill just sit there and do not move. After ten seconds Bill toots his car horn. After another ten seconds of the two cars ahead of him not yet moving he lays on the horn for a long time. Finally the cars slowly begin to move across the intersection on the green light.

Bill Barnhart:  *sigh* See? That is what I am talking about. Everyone here has a license to drive and they know what the traffic laws are. The light turns green and these morons in front of me just stare at the green light, admiring how pretty it is, and just sit there. I do not have time for this bullshit! I have places to go and sitting here for a long time without these boneheads moving is at the top of my list of pet peeves! Sheesh!

As the cars ahead of his car slow down Bill passes them and makes sure to flip them off appropriately as his car passes them.

Bill Barnhart:  This is a great analogy moment. Just as my top pet peeve concerns slow drivers my other pet peeve concerning wrestling is that most other wrestlers are slow, both physically and mentally, and I have low tolerance for them and absolutely no respect for them or their wrestling career.

Bill again approaches cars ahead of him, that are going slower than the posted speed limit, and again he hits the gas and drives past them flipping them off as he passes. A short time later Bill again comes upon traffic that does not move when the light turns green. Again he lays on the horn and then drives around the slow drivers ensuring he lets them see the appropriate hand gestures.

At this point the cameraman cuts his feed and the Network goes into a commercial break.

ON CAMERA

The scene changes to a shot of Bill Barnhart in his Hotel room which is near the Yuengling Center in Tampa, Florida. We see Bill sitting on the couch and there is a potted Cactus plant on the coffee table.

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After a short time of the camera focused on the bottle of Roundup weed killer we switch back to a shot of Bill Barnhart.

Bill:  Oh how I would love to try to bring down Pete the Cactus for what he tried to do to Iris recently! But I have to tell you I have been spraying this potted Cactus in front of me for days and there has been no reaction so I am thinking a Cactus plant may be more resilient than I thought. I may just let Iris take care of Pete. If Iris cannot bite Pete then one of her horrible toxic farts would surely put him out of business for a time.

Bill picks up the potted Cactus and walks to the door of his hotel room where he opens the door and places the potted Cactus in the hallway. Bill shuts the hotel room door and returns to speaking into the camera.

Bill:  You are extremely predictable Vinnie. I will grant you the fact that you defeated Austin James Mercer for the Heavyweight Championship and you held it for five months. But you, being predictable, you lost the Heavyweight Championship to Ben Jordan recent. Then you lost other matches since that loss. Yes, Vinnie, just as it is predictable that the Sun rises in the East and sets in the West so it is predictable you will lose to me at My Bloody Valentine 3. Just as it is predictable that there are 60 seconds in one minute so it is predictable you will lose to me at my Bloody Valentine 3. Just as it is predictable that you and Pete the Cactus will cheat and do whatever it takes to cheat me out of a win you will still lose to me at My Bloody Valentine 3.

Bill hears noises in the hallway so he walks over to the door and cracks it open enough to peek out. He then shuts the door and continues with his comments.

Bill:  I appears someone called the Front Desk and told them there is a trash potted Cactus in the hallway and they need to remove it and throw it in the trash. When I looked in the hallway there were some members of the Housekeeping crew there along with a few members of the Maintenance crew. Looks like that potted Cactus is destined for the junk pile and maybe, just maybe, they will run it through a grinder and grind it up to make mulch. Bwaa haa haa!!! What? Oh I can imagine Senor Vinnie and Pete the Cactus watching my comments and screaming at their television at the thought of a Cactus being shredded to make mulch. Ask me if I give a damn if you are traumatized by that image. Go ahead and ask me! Damn hell no I do not give a damn if you are upset. After you tried to poison my English Bulldog Iris I could care less if you end up at mulch. After you, Vinnie, put Pete the Cactus up to trying to poison Iris to cause me to be distracted and lose my match to Alex Jones I also do not care if you also end up as mulch!

Bill chuckles at his comments.

Bill:  Ah, Vinnie, you are in denial that you are behind the antics of Pete the Cactus. You are in denial that you pull the puppet strings and put words into the mouth of Pete. You are like Geppetto who pulled the puppet strings on Pinocchio to get him to move. You are in denial that you talk to Pete the Cactus like he can hear you and then you believe you can hear Pete the Cactus talk to you and that you understand what he is saying. You two are something out of a twisted horror movie. You are also in denial that you lost the Heavyweight Championship to Ben Jordan and have not been able to rack up wins since that loss. What are you going to do when I defeat you at My Bloody Valentine 3? Oh, probably go into denial that you lost to me, right? No matter how I end up defeating you I will have to endure minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months, of you whining and complaining that I cheated you out of a win. Do what you must do Vinnie. When our match begins I will do what I must do. See ya!

Bill waves into the camera and the cameraman takes the signal that the presentation from Bill is over so he calls into the Network and they cut to a commercial break.


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