Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Messages - Andrew

Pages: 1 ... 7 8 [9] 10 11 ... 15
161
Climax Control Archives / WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD?
« on: November 04, 2020, 06:17:12 PM »
WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD?

Narrator:  Too bad Bill Barnhart lost his match against Caleb Storms because he and Bea are going to face the Mixed Tag Team Champions at High Stakes X and it always sucks going into a Championship match coming off a loss. Bea told me she plans on winning her match against Seleana Zdunich at Climax Control 285 so that will allow her to enter the Mixed Tag Team Championship match coming off a win.

NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS

We go back in time to relive an incident where Bea brought Bill to see Miss Starzz who is a Psychic and Fortune Teller. The two walk into Miss Starzz establishment and although the place is a bit creepy they don’t see Miss Starzz. The time on the clock is nearing 10:00 a.m. and their appointment with Miss Starzz is at 10:00 a.m. so they expect to see Miss Starzz soon. Bill and Bea walk around waiting to find out what will happen next.

Bill:  Bea why did you bring me to a Fortune Teller and Psychic? You know I feel these people are scammers and are only out to take our money. They try to trick you into revealing information so they can slightly come close to telling you something they didn’t know previously. Nobody knows what the future holds.

Bea:  Oh, Bill, you’re always so negative on others. Let’s give Miss Starzz a chance. Even if she falls flat on her face and fails at least we had some entertainment value out of the experience.

The clock strikes 10:00 a.m. and a woman who is oddly dressed comes out of the back room and Bill and Bea assume she is Miss Starzz.

Miss Starzz:  Hi! I am Miss Starzz. Who might you two be?

Bill rolls his eyes, lets out a sigh, then spins around to face Bea.

Bill:  *SIGH!* See, Bea, I told you so! Listen up Miss Starzz if your’re really a Psychic and Fortune Teller, and you know and see everything, why the hell don’t you know who we are since we’re in your appointment book for this time slot?

Miss Starzz is not fazed by Bill’s question and doubt. She walks over to her desk, flips through the appointment book, looks at the 10:00 a.m. slot, then she addresses Bill and Bea.

Miss Starzz:  You must be Bill and Bea Barnhart!

Bill:  Oh, yeah, right! You didn’t have a friggin’ clue who the hell we were until you looked into your appointment book. Let’s get the hell out of here Bea! I’m not going to waste our time and money on this scammer!

Bea:  I’m sorry Miss Starzz. Here is $20 for your time. Sorry.

Bill snags the $20 out of Bea’s hand as he is not about to reward someone for being a fake and a scammer. He then grabs Bea by the hand and drags her out of Miss Starzz’s establishment and into the street.

Bea:  I wish you would try to have fun with stuff like Miss Starzz. Oh well what is done is done.

As Bill and Bea walk down the street to their car the scene fades out.

WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD?

The scene comes back on our screen and we see Bea Barnhart taking a walk in Pueblo Park which is about ten miles from the Gold Coast Casino in Las Vegas. Bea is wearing light blue stretch pants, white athletic shoes, and a white pullover shirt. She looks into the camera to comment on her upcoming match with Seleana Zdunich.

Bea: Thanks for joining me as I take a walk in the park. Bill and Iris aren’t with me. Bill would like to come on walks and hikes with me but Iris is a drag chute as the only exercise she’s excited about is diving into a food bowl full of food. Bill decided to stay at the hotel with Iris while I walk in the park to present comments for my upcoming match against Seleana Zdunich.

Bea continues walking for a bit before resuming her comments.

Bea:  Seleana as I read the comments on our match it states we both have possible Championship matches in our future but there are some things going on. The winner of our match will pretty much be guaranteed to receive a Championship match in the near future. The loser will be sent to the bottom of the ladder of success to earn their way back into Championship contention. Now, Seleana, I’m not going to stand before the camera and say you suck as you do have a little bit of success in Sin City Wrestling. I see your name listed as the Bombshell Champion and I also noticed you held that Championship for a mere fifteen days. DAMN!!! For someone who managed to earn a Championship, and the top one at that, you obviously didn’t take owning the Championship seriously only to lose it fifteen days late. I also saw you held the Bombshell Roulette Championship for around three months. That’s a bit better as it isn’t easy to retain the Roulette Championship but still you lost it in three month’s time. When I obtain Championships I won’t treat them like used toilet paper and flush them down the toilet like you did. I take earning a Championship seriously.

Bea rounds a curve on the trail and she comes to a fork in the trail and she takes the trail to the right.

Bea:To be honest, Seleana, you and others on the Roster insulted me when I came into the sport as a rookie. Well this formerly rookie is now winning matches and advancing in the Championship challenge category. You, on the other hand, previously had success with possessing Championships, even if for only a short time, but recently. . .well. . .you suck. But here’s the deal. Those like you who were formerly successful are now sucking big time. Those like me who came into the sport as a rookie are now seasoned and winning matches and getting shots at Championships. Please allow me to enlighten you using examples from this current NFL season. A once great NFL team the Atlanta Falcons are now 2-6-0 this current season. A perennial losing team the Cleveland Browns are currently 5-3-0 this current season.  Just as you, Selena, were once winning more than losing it appears you are now losing more than winning. I admit I didn’t win many matches when I started out in the sport of wrestling but I’m winning more than I’m losing now. Straight up your ass is mine in this match. The tables are turned and I’m the face of the future of the Bombshell Division. Your future is to go into early retirement while my future is to own the Bombshell Division.

Bea comes to another fork in the trail and she realizes the first time she went to the right at the first fork in the trail that the trail she was on looped back and connected back to the first fork in the trail she came to. She shrugs her shoulders and continues on the original trail to return to where she started her walk.

CLOSING COMMENTS ON THE CLOSING CAREER OF SELEANA ZDUNICH

Bea:  I’d like to use an analogy to help you understand why you’ll lose to me and why you’ll go into retirement and hopefully never be heard from again. The analogy I have for you is that of people who try singing Karaoke when they have absolutely no singing talent. Some people are so bad at singing when they sing Karaoke they are so far off key that they’re on the opposite side of the planet from the Florida Keys which would place them off the coast of Western Australia. That sums up the end of your wrestling career Seleana.

Bea burst out in uncontrollable laughter which causes others in Pueblo Park to stop and stare. When Bea continues laughing and glares at those people they turn away and quickly walk as fast as they can away from her.

Bea:  Remember this Seleana. You’re desperate to start winning again and I’m confortable winning more than I lose. Desperate wrestlers make desperate mistakes which makes them lose. I know you have family and friends in Sin City Wrestling so I hope you’ll tell them to stay away from our match or you all will wish you were burning in Hell than to have to deal with me! Happy losing loser!

Bea arrives at the entrance to the park. She turns to the cameraman to inform him she is done with her comments on her upcoming match and she asks the cameraman to turn off his camera. He does so and the screen goes black.


162
Climax Control Archives / CALEB STORMS AGAIN?
« on: October 27, 2020, 10:58:36 AM »
CALEB STORMS AGAIN?

Narrator:  Welcome to my opening comments on today’s presentation by Bill Barnhart. It appears Bill has the pleasure of facing off against Caleb Storms again. I don’t wish to step on Bill’s comments so I’ll stop and let you hear what Bill has to say.

We tune in with Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, relaxing in their hotel room located near the Park Theater in Las Vegas, Nevada. Both are casually dressed while Iris, as always, is wearing her pink diamond-studded dog collar. When the cameraman informs them they are live broadcasting they begin their comments.

Bill:  Before I launch into comments concerning my upcoming match against Caleb Storms I’d like to say CONGRATULATIONS Bea on your fourth win in four matches against Violet Amelia Holt! HIGH FIVE!!!

Bill and Bea jump in the air and HIGH FIVE while off the ground and then they land and return to sitting on the couch.

Bill:  Would you like to say something to Violet?

Bea:  Damn right I have something to say to her! Violet you ran your mouth again at Climax Control 283 and I shut your mouth when I tossed you into the Coffin, slammed the lid, and locked you inside of it for the win. You stated you’re a better wrestler than me yet you lost to me FOUR times in FOUR matches. You claimed you’ve had more top matches than me and maybe you have but I don’t keep track of the matches others have unless those matches are leading up to them having a match against me. The fact remains that you’ve lost to me four times in four matches which means I’m better than you and always will be. Thanks for allowing me to make comments Bill.

Bill:  You deserve it for how you owned Violet again.

INCIDENTS WHERE BILL GREW UP AS A CHILD

Bill:  Growing up at the house at 4263 Saint Andrews Road in Oakland, California, was interesting. Our house wasn’t large by square feet of living space at 1,700 square feet but it did have a yard about 2 acres in size. Behind our home was the Oak Knoll Naval Hospital facility which was later renamed Oakland Naval Hospital. When us kids jumped over our back fence we were on the Naval Hospital property. We often snuck into the living facilities for Sailors stationed there. Back then they had beer vending machines and for 50 Cents you could purchase a beer like you purchase a soda from a vending machine. Yeah we got caught several times but the Sailors were nice and let us go with a mild warning.

Bill laughs out loud at remembering those adventures.

Bill:  There was an interesting interaction between my father and our neighbor next door. My father was noise attentive and he was referred to as a “light sleeper” meaning the slightest noise would wake him up from his sleep. The neighbor next door at 4301 Saint Andrews Road had chickens he kept in coups (cages) in his backyard and he had a Rooster that was free roaming. That damn Rooster would start crowing before sunrise and this was often around 3 to 4 a.m. and it would wake up my father. One day my father had enough and he went next door to talk to the neighbor. The neighbor complained about my father complaining about his Rooster and told my father the Rooster was his pet. My father replied, “DAMN! Then put him in a cage and have him sleep in your bedroom, or under your bed, so that he will wake you up instead of me!” After that incident I don’t remember hearing the Rooster crowing and disturbing my father again. I never found out what happened to that Rooster and I honestly don’t want to know.

Bill picks up a can of Classic Coke, pops the top, downs the soda, then crumples the can and tosses it across the room where it lands neatly in the trash can.

DON’T FORGET YOUR PAST

Bill:  Caleb do you remember our first match? It was at Climax Control 247 and it was a Rock & Street Fight Roulette Rules match. I won by pinfall in case your memory doesn’t go back that far. Now you signed on for a match against me at Climax Control 284? Apparently you didn’t learn your lesson from Climax Control 247 so I have to school you again. By the way, Caleb, are you familiar with the Norwegian term UFF DA? I’ll explain it to you so there is no misunderstanding on your part. There is a saying, or exclamation if you want to call it that, in Norway and the saying is UFF DA! To give you an idea how the saying is used it means a variety of things including shit, damn, crap, d’oh, etc. If the cartoon character Charlie Brown was Norwegian instead of uttering GOOD GRIEF he would utter UFF DA! One time I went with a friend of mine, who was Norwegian by heritage, to a meeting of the Scandinavian Club. Although it consisted of members from all Scandinavian countries the main speaker for this particular event was Norwegian. He gave all the standard definitions that UFF DA could be translated into but his final definition of the term, or exclamation UFF DA, was classic. He said “Imagine you’re trying to carry ten gallons of shit in a five gallon bucket. Now that’s UFF DA!!!”

Bill lets out a hearty laugh before downing another can of Classic Coke.

Bill:  Caleb you know by now that me and Bea are going to be facing The Black Sheep for the Mixed Tag Team Championship at High Stakes X. I won’t go into the reasons for the attack by me and Bea at Climax Control 283 except to say all the crap being said about us pissed us off and we took action and we let our pent up steam out during the last show. Not like we haven’t been attacked by nearly everyone on the Roster so all I’ll say about that incident at Climax Control 283 is that shit happens. So, Caleb, you apparently have the goal to defeat me in our match so that when High Stakes X rolls around I won’t be coming off a win when going into our Mixed Tag Team Championship match. Nice try Caleb but remember Climax Control 247 and the results of that match as you’ll repeat your loss to me at Climax Control 284.

Bill pauses his comments for a moment then continues.

Bill:  Caleb you’re one of those wrestlers who challenges everyone and loses more often than you win. You insult people, attack people, threaten people, but most of your opponents hand you your ass on a platter and you walk away with another loss on your record. Our match at Climax Control 284 won’t be different for you as you’ll lose to me again. I’m sure you’re hoping that Kris and Mikah, or their friends, will show up at the ring and interfere in our match by attacking me and Bea. If that happens so be it. The Referee will disqualify you for having interference in the match and you will still take a loss to me.

Bill smiles into the camera.

Bill:  Caleb I want you to remember the stories I told about my childhood growing up at 4263 Saint Andrews Road in Oakland, California. I told you that us kids would hop our back fence and trespass on the Naval Hospital facility and purchase beer from their vending machines. I told you the Sailors who caught us were nice and let us go with just a warning. Trust me when I tell you that you’re trespassing on my space of being a talented, desired, admired, and accomplished wrestler in Sin City Wrestling. I’ll catch you like I did at Climax Control 247 but I will not be nice and let you go with a warning. Nope. I’ll beat your ass so badly you’ll wish you had gone into retirement before having this match with me. Then once I dispose of you, like our neighbor on Saint Andrews Road disposed of his Rooster and we never heard from the Rooster again, we’ll never hear from you again. Hate to be the one to tell you this, Caleb, but just as Bea outright owns Violet Amelia Holt I, Bill Barnhart, outright owns you! See you at Climax Control 284.

Bill and Bea wave to the camera which is their signal to the cameraman to cut his camera feed. When he does the screen goes dark for a short time and then the Network puts up the regularly scheduled programming for this time slot.


163
Climax Control Archives / I'll Make Violet Amelia Holt Submit To Me Again
« on: October 22, 2020, 11:59:55 AM »
I WILL MAKE VIOLET AMELIA HOLT SUBMIT AGAIN

Narrator:  Holy *bleep* I’m glad I’m on Bea Barnhart’s side and not on her bad side like Violet Amelia Holt is! Bea told me she was shocked at what Violet Amelia Holt said, on camera, at Climax Control 282, that Bea never got a submission victory and for sure not three submission victories over here and Bea is ready to comment on Violet’s comments. Damn! This is gonna be brutal!

FALSE ACCUSATIONS

We are taken back to when Bea Barnhart was attending College in Manila, Philippines. As a young and very attractive young woman the other female students resorted to lies about Bea to try to improve their status in the world. The worst thing they did was spread rumors that Bea was very EASY when it came so giving up her body to the boys even though she never did that. One thing Bea hated the most was being falsely accused of things. As always Bea took matters into her hands and exposed the mean girls for being the ones who were easy for the boys to have sex with and that they lied about her. When that truth came out about those other girls the College asked the mean girls who lied about Bea to leave the College and never return.

MEDITATION

We see Bea walking ahead of Bill down the street while holding Bill’s hand. Bea is walking quickly while pulling on Bill’s hand that he is having a hard time keeping up with her.

Bill:  Will you please slow down! Where are you in such a hurry to go? Where are you taking me?

Bea:  We’re going to a meditation class and it starts in a few minutes and I don’t want to miss anything!

Bill:  Isn’t meditation supposed to make you calm and relaxed? Then why are you excited and nervous?

Bea:  Oh, Bill, stop teasing me!

Bea and Bill arrive at the location where the meditation class is being held and they arrive in time to be there when the session starts.

Bill:  This is stupid! Why did you bring me here? This is almost as bad as the time you brought me to Miss Starzz the Psychic for a reading. She was so pathetic when she came out of the back room she asked us who we were. If she was a true Psychic and she also had our names written down for an appointment at that time, but still had to ask us who we were that’s pathetic.

Bea:  Just follow their directions and you’ll be fine.

Meditation Instructor:  People always ask how you meditate with an OM sound. While you inhale and exhale, chant OM to where you fit the chant to your breath duration rather than breathing to the chant. Break down the OM syllable to sound line A-A-U-U-M followed by silence and back again. Say the first two syllables with your mouth opened widely and the next two by pursing your lips together. Got it?

Bill:  No I don’t get it!

Bea:  Shhh! Just flow with it and relax.

Bill:  I want to flow into the nearest Pizza restaurant and relax with a pepperoni pizza and Classic Coke!

Bea:  Shhh!!!

The meditation session starts and people start doing the chant and Bill decides to chime in.

Bill:  OHHHHMMMMM!!!

Bea:  Bill! It isn’t OHM like the measurement in electrical terms. It is A-A-U-U-M. Try it again like this. A-A-U-U-M. . .

Bill:  This is DUM-MM-MM-BBBBB DU-UM-BAH!!!

The meditation instructor is frustrated that Bill keeps disrupting the session so they ask Bill and Bea to leave the facility and they do.

Bea:  Bill you frustrate me at times. You should just try to have fun with stuff like the meditation session.

Bill:  I have fun eating pepperoni pizza and drinking Classic Coke not sitting on the floor chanting a silly word.

Bea:  Whatever.

This scene ends and we switch over to a shot of the wrestling ring at Sam’s Town in Las Vegas, Nevada. Bea is standing in front of the wrestling ring and she is wearing faded blue jeans, black athletic shoes, and a black pullover shirt. She looks into the camera and launches into her comments.

LIARS WILL ALWAYS BE LIARS BUT I’LL BEAT THE TRUTH INTO THEM

Bea:  Violet! What in the *bleep* was that moronic bullshit you spewed forth at Climax Control 282? Violet you’re delusional and insane! First let me run a short video clip of what you said at Climax Control 282 so that you’ll not be able to claim you never said those things. You have taken a submission loss to me in three out of three matches and yet you stood before the camera and stated you never lost a wrestling match to me by submission.

The anger on Bea’s face after having Violet lie about their matches is obvious.

Bea:  Violet you went in front of the camera at Climax Control 282 to claim that you never lost by submission to me. Shall we examine the facts instead of your fiction? I’m going to run down my submission wins over you in both English and Tagalog, my native language in the Philippines, just to make sure you have me tell you in two languages. January 5, 2020, at Climax Control 256 the official decision by the Referee was that you, Violet, submitted to my Sleeping Pill Sleeper Hold. The Referee called it a submission win for me over you and Justin Decent announced my submission win over you. That is submission loss ONE which in Tagalog is ISA you took against me.  February 16, 2020, at My Bloody Valentine, we were involved in a Fans Bring The Weapons Roulette match for Number One Contendership for Bombshell Roulette Championship and I made you submit by applying my The Pretzel Figure Four Leg Lock on you. Again the Referee called it a submission win for me over you and Justin Decent announced my submission win over you. That was submission loss TWO which in Tagalog is DALAWA you took against me. Then, since the third time is the charm, our third match was on May 10, 2020, at Climax Control 268. At that event me and Bill defeated your daddy, Dustin Holt, and you, in a Mixed Tag Team match when I locked in my Sleeping Pill Sleeper Hold for the submission. For the third time, in our third match, the Referee called it a submission win for me over you and Justin Decent announced my submission win over you. That, Miss Holt, is submission loss THREE which in Tagalog is TATLO you took against me. ONE. . .ISA. . .TWO. . .DALAWA. . .THREE. . .TATLO!  Coming to you at Climax Control 283 on Sunday, October 25, 2020, your submission loss FOUR. . .APAT to me!

Bea lets out a sigh of frustration due to having other wrestlers lie.

Bea:  Listen up little Miss Liar Pants you got your ass handed to you, by submission, by me, three out of three matches we’ve had against each other. The facts prove that in three matches against me you tapped out, or passed out, and submitted in the matches for a total of three times. And then you had the nerve to stand in front of the camera, and the fans, at Climax Control 282 and claim that I never made you submit in any of our matches? Not only are you a pathetic piece of shit wrestler you’re also a pathetic piece of shit liar! And this time you can’t claim you didn’t say those things at Climax Control 282 because it is forever on video for everyone to view and hear and I challenge everyone to review our three matches at those three events and see for themselves that I took you out by submission three times.

We can tell Bea is so upset at Violet’s lying she’s ready to kick ass on her again.

I WILL MAKE VIOLET AMELIA HOLT SUBMIT AGAIN

Bea:  Violet we will not know what the rules and stipulations of our match will be until we arrive at the ring at Climax Control 283. I don’t give a shit what our match stipulations, or rules, or no rules are, I’m going to beat you into submission for a fourth time. I hate liars and you managed to get me to hate you three times over for lying about our three matches. This time when I brutally beat you down, and you submit to me for the fourth time, maybe you’ll finally get the message and go into permanent retirement. The gates of Hell are going to be unleashed on you and you’ll wish you were never born. Hope you’re looking forward to our match to open Climax Control 283 because I’m looking forward to setting the bar high for the other matches to attempt to attain.

Bea stops talking but we can tell something is on her mind and she continues speaking into the camera.

Bea:  Violet all the matches for this Halloween edition of Climax Control will have special stipulations, rules, etc., assigned to them and all the participants will not know what their match will consist of until just before the match starts. Let me be honest with you. Then again what the hell do you know about honesty when I exposed you on national television for being a chronic lying bitch? I don’t care what our match stipulations or rules end up to be. I’m coming into our match to run your lying ass out of wrestling. You’re a pampered daddy’s girl but when you step into the ring with me your daddy isn’t going to be able to stop the ass kicking beat down I’m gonna give you. I’ve had jealous girls in College lie about me to try to put me down while they tried to build themselves up. It failed and they got kicked out of College for lying about me. I’ve had people try to lie about me to make me look bad at places I worked. They also failed because liars are fools and are always exposed. Now you come along, after I defeated you THREE times in THREE matches all by submission and now you’re about to experience your FOURTH loss to me by submission! You cannot lie yourself into a win over me Violet. You’re 0-3 against me, you will be 0-4 against me in our upcoming match, so you have to deal with the truth and bury your lies!

Bea opens a bottle of water and takes a drink.

Bea:  For my final comments for today I challenge everyone watching, especially you Violet, to review our three matches I talked about earlier. I want everyone to see that you did, in fact, submit to me three times in three matches. After everyone views our matches, including you, then you will have no choice but to admit you lost to me three times by submission and you can then drop to your knees and worship me as your superior! You’re like the guy behind the curtain in the movie The Wizard of Oz. He claimed to be this almighty powerful Wizard but he was just an ordinary little man who used distraction tactics, such as smoke and mirrors and loud noises, to try to distract people from the truth of who he really was. Nice try on your part Violet. You can hide behind the curtain like the Wizard of Oz did, and scream into the microphone for people to ignore the person behind the curtain, but you’ve been exposed. You feel that losing to me three times by submission was dreadful and humiliating? Wait until I make you submit for the fourth time at Climax Control 283

Bea then does something we rarely see her do and that is to flip the middle finger into the camera to show Violet what she thinks of her. The cameraman tries to cut his camera feed quick enough but the middle finger got broadcast for the viewers, and especially Violet Amelia Holt, to see. Bea stands there with an evil grin on her face while the Network quickly arranges to cut to regularly scheduled programming.
 

164
Climax Control Archives / MIXER (Bea Barnhart Comments)
« on: October 15, 2020, 09:47:19 AM »
MIXER

Narrator:  Hi and welcome to my introduction to Bea Barnhart’s comments for her upcoming Mixed Tag Team match. I’ve been told Bea is doing her comments by herself today as Bill took Iris out to a dog park for some exercise. Also she may comment on things mentioned by Bill in his presentation since he won their coin toss to present his comments first.

Before we join with Bea we pick up on the presentation from several years ago where Bill and Bea were comparing mixed drinks that they each had as a favorite but the other didn’t know about the mixtures until they told each other then mixed the drink for them. After enjoying the newly presented mixed drinks Bill and Bea relaxed for a bit before Bill cleaned up the kitchen to get it ready for the next morning.  Bea was happy to share their favorite drinks and that Bill offered to clean the kitchen after their mixed drinks sharing thing.

RETURN TO REAL TIME

LOSERS ARE LOSERS

The scene comes on our screen and we see Bea Barnhart sitting in a chair in her hotel room. As the Narrator mentioned Bill took Iris for a walk in the dog park so they are not going to be involved in Bea’s presentation. Bea is casually dressed today, as compared to her formal attire she wore when attending Bill with his presentation, by wearing faded blue jeans, black athletic shoes, and an Atlanta Falcons jersey. Bea looks into the camera and launches into her comments.

Bea:  Thanks for joining me. You notice I went casual for my presentation today whereas I was in formal attire when attending Bill’s presentation. I like to be comfortable when I’m the one doing the main comments. Now you might be asking why I’m wearing an Atlanta Falcons jersey when the team is at a pathetic 0-5-0 for this season. I understand that question because when your NFL team is 0-5-0 and the Cleveland Browns are 4-1-0 that makes you look really bad. However I’m one of those who feel you should still support your local teams when possible.

Bea pauses to take a drink of water then she looks back to the camera to continue.

Bea:  If you watched Bill’s comments for our upcoming match you saw a video replay of something that took place several years ago concerning our favorite drinks. It is surprising that people get stuck with one way of mixing a drink and they never consider other ways. Most of the wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling get stuck with one way of wrestling and never consider other ways then they wonder why they lost a lot of matches. With myself and Bill we always find ways to mix things up so we’re always fresh and innovative. And that brings me to Ben and Evie Jordan. Ben and Evie what have you done lately? I know you both were accomplished for a short time but where have you been, and what have you done. . .lately? I have the history that you two joined as a Mixed Tag Team then took the loss so that surely doesn’t count as an accomplishment. Yes you have held Championships but your names don’t show up on the list of Champions as often as other wrestlers do. I guess not everyone can have continued success.

Bea takes another drink of water before continuing.

MIXER

Bea: Since we’re participating in a Mixed Tag Team match I took the time to research definitions for the words MIX and MIXER. To mix means TO COMBINE OR BLEND INTO ONE which is what Bill and I do as a Mixed Tag Team. Another definition of MIX is to MIX IT UP AS TO ENGAGE IN A FIGHT OR CONTEST. Oh, you two, be ready for us to bring the fight to you! One definition for the word MIXER is SOMETHING THAT MIXES THINGS UP. Our Mixed Tag Team is going to mix you two up to the point you won’t be able to be recognized by the fans. We’re in this match to win.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Bea:  Leading up to our match against Ben and Evie we’ve heard nothing but negative comments against us. They claim myself and Bill haven’t accomplished anything, we haven’t won anything, and we’re not able to win matches.

Bea finishes the water in her glass and she pours more water into the glass for later.

Bea:  Since me and Bill are in a Mixed Tag Team match at Climax Control 282 I’ll discuss our record in Mixed Tag Team competition. We lost a Mixed Tag Team match to Trenton Tigers at Climax Control 257 when I was pinned by Daniela Rodgers. We defeated Dustin Holt and Violet Amelia Holt in a Mixed Tag Team match when I made Violet submit with my Sleeping Pill Sleeper hold. And our third Mixed Tag Team match, at Violent Conduct VI, we defeated Trenton Tigers, when Bill pinned Vector Rodgers. Our win over Trenton Tigers caused dissention in their ranks since Vector Rodgers and Char Kwan were selected, under Freebird Rules, to participate in the match, and they totally failed. The fact remains that since they called themselves Trenton Tigers it means we avenged that first loss we had against them. So there you have it. Overall in Mixed Tag Team competition we are currently 2-1-0, and after we defeat you two at Climax Control 282 we’ll go to 3-1-0. The next accomplishment after that is The Barnharts will earn the Mixed Tag Team Championship.

BACK TO SEVERAL YEARS AGO IN LAWRENCEVILLE, GEORGIA

We return to the home of Bill and Bea Barnhart in Lawrenceville, Georgia, where the following happened several years ago. This took place after Bill and Bea traded their favorite drinks with each other. They are in their backyard, sitting in chairs at the patio table, with the umbrella on the patio table opened to provide shade, and Iris is running around sniffing her backyard to see what animals have been intruding on her property. When the camera returns to the patio table we notice Bill and Bea have snacks and drinks on the table. Bill brought out a large plate piled with pepperoni slices and a six-pack of cans of Classic Coke. Bea appears to have some Filipino food for her snacks as we see what looks to be Lumpia and Pancit. For those of you who are not familiar with Filipino food Lumpia is similar to an egg roll and it can be filled with numerous items and then it is fried and Pancit is a type of noodle dish.

Bill:  I’m happy when you make Pancit and Lumpia Bea as I’m not into cooking much except for pizzas and pies and lasagna.

Bea:  Anything for the man I love.

Bill:  I feel the same way when I make cheesecake, peach pie, key lime pie, and lasagna for you.

Bea:  Oh, Bill, you’re trying to fool the viewers. You know you make those pies and cheesecake for yourself and Iris to enjoy. You do so much for me, and surprise me with special gifts all the time, so it is okay that you spoil Iris also.

The item from several years ago plays out and the scene changes back to real time again.

THE END OF BEN AND EVIE IS NEAR

Bea:  How does it feel when you’re the person, or team, that so overwhelmingly defeats your opponents that they retire and are never heard from again? For me it feels damn good to send someone into retirement after they have been defeated by me. When our team, The Barnharts, soundly defeat Ben and Evie Jordan, they’ll likely run off into retirement and never be heard from again. Would I feel bad if we have that affect on them? Nope! I want you two to enjoy what little time you have left before our match. Have all the fun, enjoyment, and pleasure, you can manage to get, because after we return you to the backstage area you’ll be in so much pain from the beating you took at our hands it will be weeks before you enjoy things again.

Bea motions to the cameraman to indicate she is done with her comments. He calls to the Network to inform them and they cut to regularly scheduled programming.


165
Climax Control Archives / MIX IT UP
« on: October 15, 2020, 09:46:16 AM »
MIX IT UP

Narrator:  When Bill Barnhart contacted me to open his comments with my narration all he told me is that he is ready to mix it up. That tells me he and Bea are ready to mix it up against Ben and Evie Jordan in a Mixed Tag Team match at Climax Control 282. Also Bill and Bea flipped a coin three times to see who were present their comments first. Bea picked Heads and Bill picked Tails and with three flips of the coin it came up Tails twice for Bill so he presents his comments first.

FAVORITE DRINKS OF BILL AND BEA

We are taken back several years to the home of Bill and Bea Barnhart in Lawrenceville, Georgia. They are in the kitchen and we see numerous bottles of alcoholic beverages and other items used as mixers for drinks.

Bill:  Bea you asked me to tell you what my favorite mixed drink is so I’ll prepare it for you. It is simple and contains two ingredients most people don’t associate as being put together into a mixed drink.

Bea watches as Bill places several ice cubes into a nice sized clear drinking glass. Bill picks up a bottle of Gin and pours it into the glass until the glass is two-thirds full. He then pops open a can of 7-Up and pours it into the glass until the level of the mixture of Gin and 7-Up is just below the rim of the glass. Bea gives an odd glance at the drink Bill made as she is not used to seeing Gin and 7-Up mixed together.

Bill:  I know what you’re thinking Bea. I thought the same thing the first time I was introduced to a Gin and 7-Up drink. I found it to be a smashing success since I couldn’t stomach the taste of the traditional Gin and Tonic.

Bill hands the glass to Bea. She takes a sip and a smile comes on her face. She then drinks and finishes the Gin and 7-Up with pleasure.

Bea:  Wow! That’s better than I expected! I love it! Now it is my turn to introduce you to my favorite drink which is also a combination of two ingredients not normally associated as being put together into a mixed drink.

We watch as Bea fills a glass, that is the same size as the glass Bill used for his drink, with a small amount of crushed ice. Bea opens a bottle of Vodka and fills it until the level reaches two-thirds of the glass. Bea then opens a container of Orange Juice and pours it into the glass until the level is just below the rim. She hands the glass to Bill who gives it an odd glance since he is not familiar with this mixture of Vodka and Orange Juice. Bill sips the concoction then with a smile he drinks the remaining amount obviously enjoying the mixture.

Bill:  I must say, Bea, I’m surprised how well this tastes compared the usual of mixing Vodka with Soda Water. Thanks for sharing your favorite drink with me.

Bea:  It is always nice to share our favorite drinks, food, snacks, and other things, with the person we love and share our life with.

The scene from several years ago fades out and when the scene comes back into focus we are in current time with Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, relaxing in their hotel room that is located near Sam’s Town in Las Vegas. Bill is dressed in a dark gray business suit, with a white shirt, and a tie that matches the gray business suit, and black dress shoes. Bea is wearing a black full-length dress and black dress shoes. Iris? Oh you know the drill. She’s wearing her pink diamond-studded dog collar. The two are told by the cameraman they are live broadcasting so they perk up and Bill begins his comments concerning their upcoming Mixed Tag Team match.

MIX IT UP

Bill:  Before I launch into comments on our upcoming Mixed Tag Team match, at Climax Control 282, I wish to comment on my match at Climax Control 281 against Mac Bane. There’s no doubt I was in control of the Roulette Rules Dumpster Match and was about to win when one of the dumpsters rolled along and hit me in the back. When I got knocked to the arena floor by the dumpster the damn thing rolled on top of me squashing me. Stuff happens and this happened to me. Due to that incident during the match Mac Bane was able to stuff me into the dumpster and close both sides of the lid. So, Mac, congratulations on your win. But speaking of getting squashed I’m sure when you face O’Malley for the Roulette Championship he’s gonna squash you like the annoying cockroach you are and he will send you home to your Roach Motel as a loser.

Bea:  Ha ha ha! Good one Bill!

Bill:  Now about our upcoming opponents, Ben and Evie Jordan, I have several things to mention. I consider it an honor to step into the ring with you Ben. I’m also sorry to have to be the one to inform you that our team is going to destroy your team and there’s nothing you can do to prevent that. The record books show that you and Evie served as a Mixed Tag Team previously and got your asses handed to you by Kedron and Rinoa Williams. Be ready to have your asses handed to you by me and Bea at Climax Control 282 because we’re ready to hand your asses to you when we defeat you.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Bill:  Leading up to our match against Ben and Evie we’ve heard negative comments. They include comments that me and Bea haven’t accomplished anything, we haven’t won anything, and we’re not able to win matches. Shall we examine those comments as it relates to our Mixed Tag Team?

Bea:  Yes!

Bill:  Concerning Mixed Tag Team competition here’s our record. We lost a Mixed Tag Team match to Trenton Tigers, on January 12, 2020, at Climax Control 257, when Bea was pinned by Daniela Rodgers. Then we defeated Dustin Holt and Violet Amelia Holt in a Mixed Tag Team match when Bea made Violet submit with her Sleeping Pill Sleeper hold. And our third Mixed Tag Team match, on September 27, 2020, at Violent Conduct VI, we defeated Trenton Tigers, when I pinned Vector Rodgers.

Bea:  That loss to us by Trenton Tigers caused dissention in their ranks since Vector Rodgers and Char Kwan were selected, under their Freebird Rules, to participate in the match. The fact remains that since they called themselves Trenton Tigers it means we avenged that first loss we had against them.

Bill:  Overall in Mixed Tag Team competition we are 2-1-0. There ya go punks! We have two wins and one loss in Mixed Tag Team competition and when we defeat Ben and Evie Jordan on September 18, 2020, at Climax Control 282, we’ll go to 3-1-0. That means we have a winning percentage in Mixed Tag Team competition of 66.6 percent. Gee, Ben and Evie, what is your winning percentage in Mixed Tag Team competition? From the information I read it is ZERO percent! After we defeat you, and go 3-1-0 in Mixed Tag Team competition, we’ll have a winning percentage in that category of 75 percent in Mixed Tag Team competition.

Bea:  You forgot to mention one other match.

Bill:  Which one?

Bea:  Kristopher Ryans.

Bill:  Since we’re the likely tag team to face Kris Ryans and Mikah for the Mixed Tag Team Championship the match I had with Kris needs to be mentioned. That match took place April 24, 2020, at Climax Control 266. I defeated Ryans by submission with my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold. That means after we defeat Ben and Evie, then go on to face Black Sheep, there’s a major intimidation factor in my favor since Kris knows he cannot defeat me. He would rather have Mikah in the ring since she has a better chance against Bea than he does against me but still we come at them with the intimidation index off the charts and that works in our favor.

Bea:  Always nice to have the intimidation factor on our side.

Bill:  I’m very proud of you Bea. You came into the sport of wrestling as my Manager then I encouraged you to get trained and ask to be hired in Sin City Wrestling as a Wrestler. You’ve come a long way since that initial match and you’re becoming a Bombshell Wrestler others don’t wish to face. Keep up the great work!

Bea:  Hard for me not to do well in the wrestling ring when I have a fantastic instructor in you.

Bill and Bea high five then hug and kiss before the cameraman cuts his feed and the screen goes black.


166
Climax Control Archives / I'M FACING A MCDONALD'S SANDWICH?
« on: October 07, 2020, 03:04:48 PM »
WHAT? I’M FACING A MCDONALD’S SANDWICH?

Narrator:  Good day and thanks for joining me. I’m Bill Barnhart’s Narrator and I’m here to provide opening comments leading up to Bill’s match against Mac Bane at Climax Control 281. To start off you’ll be taken back to November 14, 2008, which was Bill’s 25th birthday, to watch an annual event that happened between him and another entity. Pay attention as you might learn something.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR. . .YOU MIGHT JUST GET IT

The scene takes us back to November 14, 2008, which was Bill Barnhart’s 25th birthday. Bill is relaxing at his home while Bea and their English Bulldog Iris are out shopping for gifts for him. There is a knock at the door and when Bill answers the door he lets out a huge sigh. . .

Bill:  *SIGH* You again? Aren’t you tired of losing to me? Since I turned 18 years of age you have come to me every year to try to win my soul away from me for eternity and you’ve failed all six times. Why have you shown up again? Do you honestly feel that seven is a lucky number and you’ll finally win my soul from me? Get the hell out of my face!

Satan:  Gee, Bill, funny you should tell me to get the hell out of your face when you know I own Hell. You know I have come to you annually, on your birthday, for the past six years since you turned 18 years of age, to try to earn your soul for eternity. This year is the year I win and your soul will belong to me forever!

Bill:  Something you said is key in you knowing, without a doubt, you will lose to me again. You said that you want “to try to earn your soul. . .” which tells me you are not sure, after six failures, that you can win my soul on the seventh try. You really are a pathetic piece of. . .

Satan:  Don’t say it Bill! I will make eternity hell for you. You know I will do that because I own Hell. Enough of the small talk. We need to get down to this year’s contest. I will make it interesting for you. I will let you choose the contest where we will compete against each other with your soul on the line. When I win your soul belongs to me for eternity and I will torture you beyond anything you can imagine. If, and that is a huge IF you can win against me I promise to never come to you again to bother you about anything including trying to take your soul away from you. Is that a deal?

Bill:  Hell yeah! I’ve already defeated you six times in a row so defeating you a seventh time will be easy!

Satan:  Not so fast Billy boy! You haven’t heard who is judging our contest.

Bill:  Before you get over-confident let me tell you what our contest will be and then you tell me who will be judging the contest.

Satan:  Please amuse me with a fantastic contest Bill as this will be your last time, for eternity, to challenge me.

Bill:  What? I’ve never challenged you! You’re the one who is always challenging me and losing to me! We’ll both have to do a dance to the song SHAKE YOUR BOOTY by KC and the Sunshine Band. The person with the most votes from those judging our dancing is declared the winner. That winner will be me of course.

Satan:  That’s it? Something as simple as doing a dance? Deal! The judges for the contest will be 100 of my demon minions. The winner of our dance contest is the person who gets 51 votes or more. Fair enough?

Bill:  Sure but I have one more request.

Satan:  You don’t get any requests Bill. You must dance first then I get my chance to out-dance you. With you going first you are at a disadvantage.

Bill:  That’s what you think! Remember I’ve won many dance contests over the years and I’m going to win this one also.

Bill places the CD into the player and selects SHAKE YOUR BOOTY by KC and the Sunshine Band. When the music hits Bill launches into his dance routine. Bill puts on the moves and we can see the excitement on the faces of the demon minions who are there to vote on who wins the dance contest. When Bill is finished he takes a bow, points to Satan, and tells him to give it his best shot. Bill starts the play of SHAKE YOUR BOOTY and Satan does his dance. When Satan is done both he and Bill take a seat and wait for the vote count to be delivered.

Satan:  Ready to lose your soul to me Bill?

Bill:  Never in your wildest drug-induced dreams!

The demon minions have come to the final count of their votes. The senior demon minion walks over and stands between Bill and Satan to deliver their decision.

Senior Demon Minion:  We have come to our final vote count on who wins the dance contest. I have to be honest that this vote wasn’t even close. Our final vote count is 80 votes for Bill Barnhart and 20 for Satan. Sorry Boss! You lose!

Satan is shocked that he lost the dance contest and can never again challenge Bill for his soul, or anything else, for eternity. Bill is laughing so hard he’s having a hard time taking breaths.

Bill:  HAR HAR HAR!!! *BLEEP* you Satan! You tried to cheat and you lost again and this time for eternity! Get the hell out of my sight, you loser, and don’t ever get near me again!

Satan poofs himself and his 100 demon minions out of Bill’s life. Bill walks into the kitchen and pulls out a few beers and downs them and the scene of what happened on November 14, 2008, on Bill’s 25th birthday ends.

WHAT? I’M FACING A MCDONALD’S SANDWICH?

The scene changes and we see Bill, along with his wife Bea and their English Bulldog Iris, relaxing in their hotel room which is located near the Cox Pavilion in Las Vegas, Nevada. The two are sitting on the couch in front of a coffee table and Iris is running around sniffing out the room. Bill is in his normal casual attire consisting of blue jeans, a black pullover shirt, and black athletic shoes. Bea is wearing her trademark blue dress she wears while serving at ringside as Bill’s Manager. Iris, as always, is wearing her pink diamond-studded dog collar.

Bill:  What in the hell is going on? I got a call from Sin City Wrestling and it appears they’ve assigned me to a Roulette Rules match to wrestle a McDonald’s sandwich called a McBane!

Bea:  Ha ha ha!!!

Bill:  And what, my dear wife and Manager, do you find funny?

Bea:  You’re not facing a McDonald’s McBane sandwich. You’re facing a wrestler named Mac Bane.

Bill:  Ohhhhh!!! Excuse me for a few minutes while I research my opponent, I mean my victim, out.

When Bill gets on his laptop computer to take a look at the information sheet on Mac Bane the Network cuts to a commercial break. After several minutes of the commercial break the Network returns to the live broadcast of Bill.

A ROULETTE RULES MATCH IS NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT I’VE BEEN THROUGH

Bill:  I’m back. Now that I’ve had a chance to review the Climax Control 281 card, and the information sheet on Mac Bane, I’ll continue with my comments. I’d like to start with the definitions attached to the word BANE. They include HARM, RUIN, DESTRUCTION, WOE, and POISON. Mac you are none of these things but even if you were then you would still be only about ten percent of the violent wrestler my half-brother Chris Shipman was and I defeated him over seventy-five percent of the time. *YAWN*

Bea:  So that everyone is informed Bill obtained the definitions for the word BANE on the Merriam-Webster Dictionary website.

Bill: Mac you may think you have the advantage since wrestlers in a Roulette Rules match do not know what type of match they’ll have until the Roulette wheel spins and lands on a spot to decide the match type. Listen carefully because what I’m going to tell you will make you understand that you made a mistake, a HUGE mistake, signing this Roulette Rules match against me. When I had to face my half-brother Chris Shipman in matches, for many years in Asylum Wrestling Alliance, all our matches were so brutal, violent, disgusting, and evil, that most of those types of matches are banned until the end of time. That means there’s nothing our Roulette wheel can land on that I can’t easily handle. I won the majority of my matches against my half-brother and those matches were more than they’re allowed to put on the Roulette wheel in Sin City Wrestling.

Bea:  I wish to discuss the three Roulette Rules matches Bill has participated in here in Sin City Wrestling. September 15, 2019, at Climax Control 247, Bill defeated Caleb Storms in a Rock and Street Fight Roulette Rules match that Bill won by pinfall.

Bill:  Caleb talked about how effective he is in Roulette Rules matches but I proved him to be ineffective.

Bea:  Bill then faced Griffin Hawkins for the Roulette Championship on October 20, 2019, at High Stakes IX. Bill came close to winning but with Hawkins being a great Roulette Champion he was able to pull off the win by pinfall in that Steel Cage Match.

Bill:  Having that match against Griffin Hawkins was on my list of dream matches I wanted in Sin City Wrestling.

Bea:  The third Roulette Rules Match for Bill was against O’Malley on August 16, 2020, at Climax Control 276. Bill came close to winning but O’Malley was able to get the win over Bill by submission.

Bill:  I vowed to avenge that loss to O’Malley and with my win over you, Mac, at Climax Control 281, I’ll advance and the likely wrestler to face O’Malley for the Roulette Championship at High Stakes X. If that match takes place I’ll avenge my previous loss and become the new Roulette Champion.

Bill excuses himself to get some snacks from the kitchen. He returns carrying a plate of pepperoni pizza slices in one hand and a six-pack of Classic Coke in his other hand. He sets the pepperoni pizza and Classic Coke on the coffee table and he and Bea start in on the food and drinks. Iris is quick to get up and get between Bill and Bea to beg for pizza. Bill appeases Iris by handing her a slice of pizza on a large paper plate to avoid spillage and Iris is happy.

I WIN. . .MAC BANE LOSES

Bill:  Mac let me level with you. I do research on all my opponents, except the ones I’ve already faced, as it is nice to know what new opponents think of themselves. Normally they always think more favorably about themselves than I think about them. So your name is Mac Bane eh? I say your name is Mac Bullshit. I’ve heard the crap you’ve spread around prior to our match being scheduled. I know the comments all my opponents will make. In your case you’ll most likely claim you have a height and weight advantage and that puts me at a disadvantage. Nice try but. . .FAIL! I’ve defeated wrestlers up to twice my weight and up to a foot taller than me and I defeated them. When I soundly defeat you then you can take the bullshit you’re throwing my way and return to the country farm and till the bullshit into the ground to serve as fertilizer. If Satan, and my half-brother Chris Shipman, were not to defeat me then why the hell do you think you have a chance?

Bea:  I’ve heard rumors that over your wrestling career both your knees have undergone surgery. That makes a prime target for a Figure-Four Leglock or other leg-punishing maneuvers Bill wishes to dish out upon you.

Bill:  Brag all you want Mac. I don’t see how a Four-Way, or other multi-wrestler match, is something you should brag about just because you won the match. In multi-wrestler matches you can have most of the wrestlers beating each other senseless while one wrestler cowers in the corner waiting for the other wrestlers to get tired from beating each other down. Then they step in and take advantage of the already worn out wrestlers. Gee if that’s all you can brag about then when you face me at Climax Control 281 you’re going to be shocked when I easily defeat you.

Bea:  Have a great time leading up to your match with Bill as you’ll be having a horrible time after Bill pounds you into submission.

Bea motions to the cameraman they are done with their comments for today. The cameraman cuts his feed and the Network switches to a commercial break.


167
Supercard Archives / Re: The Trenton Tigers v The Barnharts = Mixed tag team match
« on: September 21, 2020, 12:02:05 PM »
CRAP

Narrator:  Oh crap! That’s all Bea asked me to mention as the opening to her match comments. Without further delay I give you Bea Barnhart.

We get a shot of Bea Barnhart walking around inside Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada. Bea is casually dressed in black jeans, a white blouse, and black flat shoes. She sees the cameraman who is scheduled to broadcast her comments for the upcoming Mixed Tag Team match so she begins her comments.

TRENTON TIGERS ARE CRAP

Bea:  On Sunday, September 27, 2020, in the Colosseum at Caesar’s Palace me and Bill, as a Mixed Tag Team, will take on and defeat Trenton Tigers. It doesn’t matter which two of their four wrestlers are assigned to the match as our team will win. With our win we advance to face off against the Mixed Tag Team Champions so we can win and earn the Mixed Tag Team Championship.

Bea continues walking passing various venues within Caesar’s Palace.

Bea:  I just watched Bill’s comments on our upcoming match and I have to say his comments were on the mark, a direct hit, a Bulls-Eye, on the cowards we are facing in the form of Trenton Tigers. Apparently the regular team members of Trenton Tigers, Brandon Sludge and Daniela Rodgers, finally realized they’re not going to be able to defeat us. Whether it be the regular members of Brandon and Daniela, or it is the other members of Vector and Char, or any other combination they want to use, they’re gonna lose big time.

Bea keeps walking and she passes the Casino.

Bea:  The odds of winning in a Casino are about 10 percent so most gamblers lose 90 percent of the time. The odds of The Barnharts winning our upcoming Mixed Tag Team match is 90 percent while the odds of Trenton Tigers winning is 10 percent. I love those odds!

Bea walks along and she comes to the area where Violent Conduct VI will be held which is the Colosseum in Caesar’s Palace. She looks inside and sees the wrestling ring set up.

Bea:  There’s the wrestling ring where me and Bill will destroy whichever members Trenton Tigers decide will be assigned to our match. That’s the wrestling ring where history will be made as The Barnharts win then go on to face, and defeat, the Mixed Tag Team Champions to become Sin City Wrestling’s Mixed Tag Team Champions.

Bea turns and walks away from the venue and heads down the hallway where she finds some interesting restaurants.

Bea:  This restaurant looks nice and it has the type of food that Bill and Iris love. I’ll go in and get some food to take to them in the hotel after I finish my comments on our upcoming match. I have to admit it is fun teaming with Bill in a Mixed Tag Team match and I’m sure in the future I’ll be teamed with Senor Vinnie in a Mixed Tag Team when we decide to use the Freebird option. Unlike Trenton Tigers who refuse to announce which two wrestlers will be assigned to our match at Violent Conduct VI, because they believe if they keep it a secret it will give them an advantage, we would announce our two wrestlers assigned to the match immediately. We always want our opponents, in Tag Team competition, to know who they’re facing. The intimidation factor of being in their face about who they’re facing is way more amusing than trying to hide it like our current opponents are doing. Watch Violent Conduct VI and watch me and Bill defeat Trenton Tigers then go on to defeat the Mixed Tag Team Champions to earn that Championship. Thanks for joining me for my comments. Please excuse me as I purchase food for Bill and Iris and take it to them.

Bea turns and walks into the restaurant. The cameraman calls into the Network to let them know Bea finished her comments. He keeps his camera focused on Bea inside the restaurant until the Network cuts the feed and switches to a commercial break.


168
Supercard Archives / Re: The Trenton Tigers v The Barnharts = Mixed tag team match
« on: September 21, 2020, 11:53:27 AM »
OUR OPPONENTS ARE CONFUSED AND MIXED UP

Narrator:  Even though Bill Barnhart is involved in a Freebird style Mixed Tag Team, involving Bea and Senor Vinnie, they are not the type of wrestlers to refuse to announce which two members would be involved in the match until the match starts. They would make the announcement ahead of tie to ensure their opponents know what they are getting into.

BILL’S HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS WERE ALSO CONFUSED AND MESSED UP

We are taken back to Oakland, California, to the home on Saint Andrews Road where bill grew up. This incident took place because one of Bill’s best friends, Steve, turned on him and started being a jerk to Bill. The background is that Steve started running around with an asshole named Jerry who didn’t like Bill. Bill tried to reason with Steve but he wouldn’t have any of it. Steve then challenged Bill to a fight with the winner having bragging rights. There were several incidents where a challenge was issued, and Bill accepted, but when Bill showed up to beat the hell out of Steve, it was Steve who showed up with two or more of his friends in tow.

Bill:  Steve it isn’t bad enough that you turned on me, your best friend, to hang around with the jerk Jerry, but you challenged me to a fight numerous times. However every time you showed up to the location you had two or more of your friends with you while I always showed up by myself. And here we are, once again, with me by myself and you with two of your friends.

Steve:  Come on Bill! Let’s get the fight on since you chickened out the other times we had a fight scheduled!

Bill:  I’ve never backed down from a fight and you know it. I’m not going to get into a fight with you when you have to bring your friends to watch your back. You know damn well the moment I start beating the hell out of you that your friends will jump on me and attack me. Either you schedule a fight and we got at it one-on-one, without either of us having our friends involved, or there is no fight. Sorry, Steve, but you have two choices. You either show up for our fight by yourself and we do it one-on-one without friends involved or we don’t do the fight.

Steve:  You’re a coward Bill!

Bill:  Steve let me ask you a question. If you scheduled a fight with me and you showed up by yourself and I showed up with anywhere from one to four of my friends to back me up what would you say?

Steve:  I would call you a coward for having to bring your friends to back you up so when I start beating the hell out of you they can attack me and benefit you.

Bill:  You’re saying exactly that I said Steve. You admitted you wouldn’t like it if I had friends with me for our fight and you didn’t. Either accept that we either do out fight one-on-one or not at all. Either send your friends home now and we do the fight one-on-one or go home with them as the coward you are. What’s your decision.

Steve flips Bill off and then he gets into his car with his two friends and they drive off. Bill lost his best friend forever on that day but the bottom line is it was Steve’s loss having lost Bill as a friend.

BACK TO TODAY

We get a shot of Bill Barnhart at the Colosseum at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. Bill is dressed in a non-traditional way for himself by wearing a charcoal gray business suit with white shirt and matching charcoal gray tie. He is standing in front of the wrestling ring where he and Bea will face off against Trenton Tigers to earn a shot at the Mixed Tag Team Champions.

Bill:  I know you’re not used to seeing me in a business suit but I have a good reason for wearing the business suit today. When our Mixed Tag Team match against Trenton Tigers takes place at Violent Conduct VI our team will be all business. We are not in this match to fool around and act stupid. We’re in this match to get down to business, win the match, and move on to face off against the Mixed Tag Team Champions and defeat them to earn the Championship.

Bill moves around the wrestling ring looking it over.

Bill:  The members of Trenton Tigers remind me of my best friend from High School named Steve. Once Steve hooked up with a jerk named Jerry he became an obnoxious asshole like Jerry was. I tried reasoning with Steve but all he could do was challenge me to an all-out right so we could prove which of us was the winner and which was the loser. Steve scheduled numerous fight locations and every time I showed up Steve had from one to four of his friends with him while I always showed up by myself. In each case I told Steve since I didn’t need backup to beat his ass then he shouldn’t either. In every case Steve called me a coward when he, with his friends backing him up for our fights, was the true coward.

Bill walks over to the announcing table where he sits down in one of the chairs.

Bill:  I never had my fight with Steve because he would never meet me legally just the two of us. Why did I mention what my former best friend, Steve, did? Because the original members of Trenton Tigers, Brandon Sludge and Daniela Rodgers, are like Steve in every way. They have advanced to be a team that cannot function on their own so they brought out Vector Rodgers and Char Kwan as backup. What’s the matter with you two? Even though our two Mixed Tag Teams met in January 2020 and you got the win have you finally come to the realization that there’s no way you can defeat us now so you bring in others to back you up? Have you really come to that low level in your wrestling careers?

Bill stands up from the announcing table and he returns to standing in front of the wrestling ring.

Bill:  Going back to our Mixed Tag Team match in January 2020 you two had a very difficult time with our team. Somehow Daniela managed to get the pin on Bea but it was only due to Bea being involved in her second match since signing up as a wrestler in our Federation. If you had a difficult time defeating us when Bea was only performing in her second match you know you two are in trouble now that Bea is going into her 17th match you are running scared. Let me get a few of my favorite four-word phrases out there for you two to ponder.

Bill lets out a laugh.

Bill: You two think you are IT as a Mixed Tag team? You are ALL BARK. . .NO BITE! You want to portray me and Bea as cowards like what my former best friend Steve did? BITCHES DON’T EVEN TRY!  You think you can take our team out? COME AND GET IT!  You want to claim that we have to hire assistance from others to defeat you while you Vector and Char hanging around? DON’T EVEN GO THERE!  You want to try to intimidate me? DON’T F*CK WITH ME!  Once we defeat you and move on to face the Mixed Tag Team Champions we want you all to GO AWAY. . .FAR AWAY  After we defeat your team you will hear me say I TOLD YOU SO!

Bill lets out a large snorting laugh that shakes the camera.

RUNNING SCARED

Bill:  You want to know something? You in Trenton Tigers have been running your mouths for months. Even more so after you got a win over me and Bea in January 2020. But where the hell is your bragging and boasting this time around? I expected you two, Brandon and Daniela, to get in front of a camera and spew forth all the obligatory canned worn out statements most of our opponents do. But what happened? I haven’t seen you two around, in person or on camera, since our match for Violent Conduct VI was announced. What the hell? Did your feet get so cold that they turned into blocks of ice and you can’t walk to get in front of a camera to try to salvage your wrestling careers? And on top of that it isn’t just you two, but also Vector and Char, who could have stood in front of the camera to comment on our match. But, no, cowards are cowards are cowards and you two, actually you four, proved what me and Bea have been saying. Thanks for the compliment! So Brandon, Daniela, Vector, or Char, if you don’t chicken out of our match and you show up to wrestle against us, bring it on whichever two of you end up being the victims for our match. We’re sick of sorry ass wrestlers who act the thugs because they suck in the ring. See you at Violent Conduct VI if you still have the courage to show up for our match!

Bill snaps his fingers and the cameraman acknowledges the signal to cut his camera feed and the screen goes black.


169
Supercard Archives / Re: The Trenton Tigers v The Barnharts = Mixed tag team match
« on: September 17, 2020, 07:09:02 PM »
OUR MIXED TAG TEAM OPPONENTS ARE PATHETIC

Narrator:  Bea Barnhart had a lot to say about her upcoming Mixed Tag Team match against Trenton Tigers. Now it is time to hear what Bill Barnhart has to say about the match.

The scene switches to a Taco Bell restaurant where we see Bill Barnhart dining on their Five Dollar Grande Nacho Box special. Seeing he has two of those on the table in front of him we can tell Bill is enjoying this special offer. Bill is casually dressed in blue jeans, a black pullover shirt, and black athletic shoes. He looks into the camera when the cameraman tells him he is there to air his comments.

PATHETIC COWARDS

Bill:  I sure love these Taco Bell specials like this Five Dollar Grande Nacho Box. Too bad I couldn’t bring Iris with me but I still purchased two of them and I’ll eat her Grande Nacho Box since she isn’t here. She won’t find out so I won’t have her getting in my face over it.

Bill dives into his Grade Nachos and downs it with some of his drink then he wipes his mouth and looks up into the camera.

Bill:  WOW! Bea damn sure went off on Daniela Rodgers and Brandon Sludge, the Trenton Tigers, concerning our Mixed Tag Team match for Violent Conduct VI. I support every word Bea said. The history between our teams is that Trenton Tigers got the win at Climax Control 257 when Daniela got lucky with a pinfall on Bea. This is when Bea was performing in her second match as a wrestler. Yes, Bea was a raw green rookie on that date, Trenton Tigers got the win, and now when facing us again, with Bea well-seasoned in the wrestling ring, they’ve turned cowards and decided to use the Freebird rule.

Bill pauses his comments to down more of his Grande Nachos. He washes it down with his drink and then he continues his comments.

Bill:  No matter how our opponents try to mix it up with the Freebird option we’ll defeat them and we’ll face Mixed Tag Team Champions. However I’m one of those people who look at every possible angle of every situation. There is one way Trenton Tigers might be able to defeat us and that would be for them to decide to have the two wrestlers NOT assigned to the match interfere in the match. But that’s actually okay with me as long as the Referee catches them cheating and disqualifies them. Me and Bea will gladly take that win, if that’s how Trenton Tigers want to play it, and move on to become Mixed Tag Team Champions.

YOU DON’T MESS WITH BILL OR HIS FOOD

As Bill pauses to partake more of his Grande Nachos he is approached by one of the other diners in Taco Bell. Bill is surprised that someone would interrupt his meal, and his air time, like this.

Bill:  Excuse me? What do you want that is so important that you’re interrupting my meal and my air time as I’m live on camera right now?

Other Diner:  Why the hell are you not wearing a mask when we have the Corona virus thing going on?

Bill:  What? How the hell do you expect me to eat my food with a mask on? Also I did wear a mask when I came into Taco Bell but I have to eat. Maybe you eat through your mask but I don’t. Please get away from me before I call the Police.

Other Diner:  I have a right to protect myself and you do also.

Bill:  I have the right to eat my food in peace and to do my on-camera presentation without a rude person like you interrupting me. Also if you continue to threaten and harass me I have the right to fight back against your assaults. Now I ask you again to please get away from me or I dial 911 and get the Police here.

The rude customer takes a swing and slaps the food out of Bill’s hands where it flies out and lands on the floor. The look on Bill’s face tells you that you don’t mess with his food. Bill stands up and shoves the person away from him. Just as the other customer is about to take another swing at Bill the Police show up. Unfortunately for the other diner Taco Bell workers, and other diners, side with Bill and tell the Police the rude customer started the altercation. The Police talk to the diner and inform them they can leave on their own and walk away without further incident or they can take them to the Police station to write up a report on them. The other diner wisely opts to turn and walk out the Taco Bell. Bill sits down at his table to continue eating his Grande Nachos while shaking his head at the ignorance of people.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Bill:  What’s the bottom line on our match? Whether our opponents are Brandon and Daniela, Brandon and Char, Vector and Daniela, or Vector and Char, the bottom line is we’ll easily defeat them. Yeah I can hear the doubters out there but you doubters will become believers after our team wins this match. And to make sure Trenton Tigers don’t pull any crap during the match I have Senor Vinnie watching and if you try to pull stuff during the match you will also have to deal with Senor Vinnie. It is always easy to defeat cowards and your team consists of four cowards. Me and Bea want you to bring all you’ve got and I mean ALL you’ve got. I don’t want you trying to pull on me what other wrestlers I’ve defeated tried and that is to claim that I didn’t really defeat them. . .they defeated themselves by not performing well. What the BLEEP!  If you claim you performed poorly and your opponent defeated you then the truth is your opponent performed better than you did. After we win this match I’ll enjoy listening to you four spew forth a hundred and one excuses why our team won and your team lost. The only excuse missing as to why you lost is that me and Bea performed better and took you out! Now please excuse me as I have the remainder of my first Grande Nacho Box to finish and a second one I haven’t started on yet. Thanks for tuning in with me today for my comments. You can cut your camera feed now.

With Bill’s comment for the cameraman to cut his camera feed the screen goes black and about five seconds later the Network switches to regularly scheduled programming.


170
Supercard Archives / Re: The Trenton Tigers v The Barnharts = Mixed tag team match
« on: September 17, 2020, 07:07:55 PM »
*SIGH*

Narrator:  Oh boy! When the card for Violent Conduct VI was announced Bea Barnhart got upset. No she’s not upset that she and Bill, as a Mixed Tag Team, have the opportunity to get a win in this match then face the Mixed Tag Team Champions for the Championship. I’ve already said enough so I turn you over to Bea Barnhart.

COWARDS

The scene switches to a shot of Bea Barnhart sitting in a chair next to a couch and we assume she is in her hotel room which near the Colosseum at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada. We notice Bea is wearing her trademark blue dress she usually wears when serving in Bill’s corner as his Manager.

Bea:  *SIGH* I’m going to jump into my comments because I’m ashamed of our opponents for Violent Conduct VI. Why, you want to know, am I ashamed of them? We are assigned to face off against the Mixed Tax Team of Trenton Tigers consisting of Daniela Rodgers and Brandon Sludge. But these two cowards decided to demand the Freebird rule for our match instead of facing me and Bill head-on. So that means it can be any male-female combination of Daniela Rodgers, Brandon Sludge, Vector Rodgers, or Char Kwan. The Freebird thing was a concept of a wrestling team named Freebirds. They used this tactic to try to confuse opponents because the opponents wouldn’t know who they are facing in a match until they were introduced and the match started. That crap did work on a lot of the opponents of the Freebirds but that crap don’t confuse, confound, or intimidate us. We are beyond being bullied and even more so by bully cowards.

Bea picks up a glass on a table next to her chair and takes a sip of ice water.

Bea:  Let me address Daniela and Brandon. We had a Mixed Tag Team match against you two on January 12, 2020, at Climax Control 257. Although your team won the match when you, Daniela, pinned me, the fact remains that although I was a very green rookie in the sport of Wrestling at that time I took you to your limits and you know you got lucky on that win. Apparently, now that I’m a seasoned wrestler you two are getting scared to face us once again.

Bea sips a bit more water before continuing with her comments.

Bea:  So now we get assigned to this match at Violent Conduct VI with the winner going on to challenge whichever team happens to be the Mixed Tag Team Champions at Violent Conduct. That means the winner of our match will face either Sass ‘n Bash or The Black Sheep for the Championship. But what the hell happened to you two? You got a win over my Mixed Tag Team when I was a Rookie in my second match in the sport of Wrestling and yet now when we get assigned to face each other you want the Freebird thing thrown in because you are cowards? Oh my gawd! That’s tells me all I need to know about you two!

Bea finishes her water then returns the glass to the table next to her chair.

Bea:  Brandon. . .Daniela. . .let me make this perfectly clear and I’ll speak very slowly so that you are able to comprehend what I’m saying. I. . .DON’T. . .CARE. . .WHICH. . .TWO. . .OF. . .YOU. . .GET. . .ASSIGNED. . .TO. . .OUR. . .MATCH. . . BECAUSE. . .ME. . .AND. . .BILL. . .WILL. . .WIN. . .AND. . .GO. . .ON. . .TO. . .EARN. . .THE. . .MIXED. . .TAG. . .TEAM. . .CHAMPIONSHIP! Hope that was slow enough for your pathetic pea brains to process. Damn~ you really suck!

Bea excuses herself to walk into the other room to refresh her glass of ice water. When she returns she sips a bit of the water then places the glass on the table next to her chair then she sits down to continue her comments.

LOOK TO THE FUTURE NOT BACK AT THE PAST

Bea:  I’m constantly asked why I don’t spend a lot of time talking about the past. I don’t wish to talk about the past as the past is the past. It has already happened and cannot be changed. What good does it do to continually talk about what you used to do when you are doing something different now? I’m here to talk about the future. The future of my wrestling career. The future of Bill’s wrestling career. The future of our Mixed Tag Team. The future of the Mixed Tag Team Division in Sin City Wrestling. If the rest of you want to dwell on the past then feel free to do so but stay out of my face because I desire to look ahead and not behind.

Bea rolls her eyes at the stupidity of most of the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling.

WHO’S ON FIRST?

Bea:  In closing I wish to quote a line from one of the most amazing classic comedy skits ever in the history of comedy. It is the Abbot and Costello WHO’S ON FIRST? Bud Abbot, playing the Manager of the baseball team, was trying to explain to Lou Costello the concept of baseball. When Costello asks him the names of the players on the team, Abbot utters: WHO’S ON FIRST. WHAT’S ON SECOND, AND I DON’T KNOW IS ON THIRD. This, of course, led into a back and forth with Lou continually asking WHAT’S THE PLAYERS NAME ON FIRST BASE to which Bud would reply WHO which is the players name, then Abbot, thinking Bud was asking him who, or which player, he was asking about, replied with THE PLAYER ON FIRST BASE to which Bud would again reply WHO. This would go on for the entire skit and it was hilarious with the implied misunderstanding. I’ve always admired Bud Abbot’s and Lou Costello’s live performance of WHO’S ON FIRST without using cue cards because it is a demanding comedy routing where you simply cannot mess it up or it won’t work.

Bea winks at the camera.

Bea:  I brought up the Abbot and Costello comedy routine WHO’S ON FIRST because if perfectly represents how one side is stating absolute facts and the other side is misunderstanding everything. Bud Abbot as the Manager only told absolute facts and the person asking the questions, Lou Costello, was always confused due to misunderstanding. That’s exactly like the Mixed Tag Team Trenton Tigers. On our side of the match we know who we are, we know what we are capable of, and we know we are going to win and move on to face the Mixed Tag Team Champions. On your side of the ring you have to bring in four people and try to figure out which two of them might have a remote chance of defeating us. Oh well you all continue with your confusion and misunderstanding. On our side we want to remain with absolute facts and understanding. Let there be no confusion that The Barnharts will emerge from this Mixed Tag Team match as the winner. If you refuse to understand that absolute fact now so be it. When our hands are raised in victory and we are announced as the winners then you will become believers. See you at Violent Conduct VI.

Bea waves into the camera as the signal to cut the camera feed. The cameraman complies and when he cuts his camera feed the screen goes black.


171
Climax Control Archives / TIME TO SHINE
« on: September 10, 2020, 11:59:46 AM »
TIME TO SHINE

Narrator:  Bea Barnhart has captured the attention of Sin City Wrestling Management, and wrestlers on the Roster, as she’s been getting assigned to matches recently that have the reward of earning a shot at a Championship with a win. It is the same for Climax Control 280 where Bea faces off in a Triple Threat match against Mercedes Vargas and Johanna Krieger with the winner facing Seleana Zdunich at Violent Control VI for the Roulette Championship.

The scene switches to the home of Bill and Bea Barnhart in Lawrenceville, Georgia. This incident took place before the Corona virus thing. We are not sure of the exact time this took place but it was in early 2020. We see Bill and Bea in the garage where Bea is installing shelving and she needs to find where the studs in the walls are located so she can attach the shelving to the walls where they are secure and will not come loose. Bill is standing next to Bea watching her and it is apparent that although he is great in the sport of wrestling and other sports he doesn’t seem comfortable around home improvement type work.

BILL IS HANDY IN THE WRESTLING RING BUT NOT IN HOME IMPROVEMENT PROJECTS

Bea:  Bill I need you to help me. It is hard enough trying to locate the studs in the walls but once I find the center of the studs I have to mark the location with a pen on the wall. All I’m asking you to do is hold the pen and make a mark on the wall where I tell you to put the mark. Not like I’m asking you to pick up a hammer, screwdriver, or other tools.

Bill:  Okay I can do that but don’t try to sneak it into the routine that I have to hammer nails, screw things in, or other construction type work.

Bea presses the button on the stud finder and she moves it slowly from left to right. She gets a beep tone meaning she is approaching a stud in the wall. She slowly moves the stud finder until it shows she has found the center of the stud where the graphic indicates she has found the center of the stud and the beep tone is very loud also indicating the center of the stud. She goes past that point then back over it again to be sure she has found the center of the stud. She stops moving the stud finder and points to the wall where she wants Bill to use the pen to mark that spot. Bill does as Bea instructs and he places a dot of ink in that spot. Bea continues this numerous times until all the studs in that wall have been located and marked where they are located. Bill has a confused look on his face.

Bill:  I know the device you are using is simple for you to understand but I’ve never been a person to do maintenance or construction work. I want to know how that stud finder thing can find a wood board in the wall. I understand if it was detecting a metal object, or an electrical current, but how can it find a wooden stud inside of a wall?

Bea:  It is simple to understand Bill. The stud finder device uses changes in capacitance to sense where the stud is. When the plate inside the stud finder is over wall board that has nothing behind the wall board, it will sense one dielectric constant. But when it is over a stud the dielectric constant is different. It works on a capacitance differential generated by density difference. The circuit in the stud finder can sense the change and reports it on its display. Wasn’t that simple to understand?

Bill:  Uh, no, I didn’t understand a word of it. You might have well been speaking a language I don’t understand. I’ll trust what you said is true as you did find all the studs in the wall. I’m still not sure how it works but I guess it does work as you showed.

Bea:  Yeah these stud finder devices are really good at finding studs.

Bea pushes the button on her stud finder and moves it over and around Bill. The stud finder is beeping like crazy as she moves it over Bill’s body. When she removes the device away from Bill it stops beeping.

Bea:  There you go! I proved the stud finder can find real studs. It just announced that you’re the stud of all studs Bill and you’re mine!

Bill and Bea enjoy a laugh over this and as they are laughing the scene begins to shift to the current day. Once we are on the current day we get a shot of Bea Barnhart relaxing on the couch in their hotel room near the Earl E. Wilson Stadium in Las Vegas, Nevada. We see Bill and Iris moving around in the background but both of them try to remain out of camera view as much as they can as they don’t want to take away from Bea’s presentation.

TIME TO SHINE

Bea:  Thank you for joining me as I present comments leading up to my match at Climax Control 280. At this event I’m in a Triple Threat against Mercedes Vargas and Johanna Krieger with the winner getting a shot at Seleana Zdunich at Violent Conduct VI for the Roulette Championship. Before I launch into comments for the benefit of Mercedes Vargas and Johanna Krieger I’d like to tell you about the Boarding and Daycare facility we take Iris to when we need to give her a break. It is called Camp Bow Bow and they have many locations across the United States. The Camp Bow Wow we take Iris to is located at 585 Old Norcross Road in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Since the first day we brought Iris to them for a Daycare/Play Date, which runs from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m., they have taken to Iris and they’re all familiar with her and love to have her at their facility. Have you watched the television program named CHEERS? Remember that Norm is so popular that everyone knows him and the moment he walks into the bar everyone yells out NORM!!!! That’s how they treat Iris when we bring her to Camp Bow Wow. The moment she walks through the front door all the employees yell out IRIS!!! and Iris loves the attention. Why did I tell you this side story about Iris going to Camp Bow Wow where everyone knows her name? Because when I defeat Mercedes Vargas and Johanna Krieger everyone will know my name. Then after I defeat Seleana Zdunich at Violent Conduct VI for the Roulette Championship my name will be on everyone’s mind and every time I enter a venue the fans will yell out my name.

Bill and Iris pass behind Bea again and they are seen on camera. Bill apologizes to Bea since there wasn’t room for the two of them to walk behind the cameraman to stay out of camera range.

Bea:  As you already know I faced Mercedes Vargas at Climax Control 277 and she won the match. She didn’t win easily as I took the fight to her. However she was able to turn it on me at the last moment for a pinfall. Both of us were also in a Battle Royal at Climax Control 278. Although Mercedes bragged, as she always does, the fact remains that although I was the second wrestler eliminated from the Battle Royal it was Mercedes who was eliminated quickly after I was. At Climax Control 280 I’ll easily eliminate her. I have not faced Johanna Krieger yet so this will be a first between us.

Bill and Iris again pass behind Bea and they are again seen on camera. Bea asks them to go behind the cameraman next time so they’ll not interrupt her air time. The cameraman moves his camera closer to Bea to give room behind him for Bill and Iris to pass.

Bea:  I know I’m gonna win this Triple Threat and go on to face Seleana Zdunich and I will become Roulette Champion. Mercedes already knows I’m more than a match for her. Not sure what Johanna Krieger is thinking but I don’t give a damn what she thinks. None of us know what the Roulette Wheel will land on but regardless of where it lands I’ll win.

Bea looks up behind the cameraman to see Bill and Iris pass behind the cameraman to stay out of camera view. She smiles that the two took her advice.

Bea:  Most of you know that due to the Corona virus the school district in Gwinnett County, where we live in Lawrenceville, Georgia, has decided to honor the selection from a survey of parents on whether to open this current school year all in-class, half in-class and half virtual learning, or all virtual learning. Since the survey came out 50-50 they have half the students attend school for in-class learning and the other half on virtual learning from home on their computers via Zoom. Oh damn! You’d think the teachers were asked to eat Tide pods while shoving a white-hot fireplace poker up their asses. Their complaint is that if all the students are in the classroom they only have to write the information on the white board or chalk board at the front of the class. They complain that having to also prepare the information in document form to present to those students doing virtual learning is too much of a burden on them as teachers. What the hell? The lowest salary for a teacher in Gwinnett County Public Schools is around $45,000 per year with the highest around $90,000 per year. If you get that amount of money but you cannot multi-task between writing information on a board at the front of the classroom and also present the same information to those doing virtual learning then you are an incompetent teacher. That’s not extra work as it is the same document. At the most you simply scan the document into a graphic of PDF form and send it to your students who are virtual learning with Zoom. It is about as simple as adding a document or photo to an e-mail you are sending. I brought this up about teachers in our school district because they act like most of the wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling. They whine about their schedule to wrestle. They whine about the type of matches they are assigned to. They whine about having too much to present and they are not able to present what they are asked to present. If you are that damn incompetent then you, like those whining teachers, need to quit the work they do and find some type of job where they can be lazy all day. I’m not lazy, not incompetent, not whining about anything, and I’ll show everyone how to multi-task when I beat the hell out of Mercedes and Johanna and walk away with a shot at the Roulette Champion!

Bea smiles into the camera.

Bea:  Let me give you my impersonation of my opponents when they make their comments on our match. Neither has anything coherent to say so all they can do is mumble and curse. I anticipate their comments going something like the following. I want to *BLEEP* the *BLEEP* out of *BLEEPING* Bea Barnhart because I have nothing *BLEEPING* intelligent to say about her. Yea I guess that’s how their comments might go. But, come on, let’s get into reality here. I don’t need to be like most of the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling who have to rant and rave, curse and moan, bitch and complain, cut their foreheads with razor blades, then cry when they lose a match. I don’t need to put on a drama queen act to get noticed as I rely on my great wrestling skills to get noticed. Mercedes and Johanna will find that out quickly.

Bea reaches over to the table and picks up a pair of sunglasses with extremely dark lenses. She puts them on and. . .

Bea:  Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, come one, come all, and bring your darkest pair of sunglasses to wear because I’m gonna give such a brilliant shining wrestling performance that you might go blind from my brilliance if you’re not wearing dark sunglasses!

Bea informs the cameraman she’s done with her presentation and he cuts his camera feed and the screen goes black.


172
Climax Control Archives / Bill Barnhart versus Stephen Callaway
« on: August 26, 2020, 11:32:44 AM »
STOCK

Narrator:  I must say there have been some interesting things taking place in Sin City Wrestling recently. Seems like there are still a lot of people who feel if you don’t think like they do, talk like they do, walk like they do, and think like they do, they refuse to accept you, With that lead-in I will turn you over to Bill Barnhart who will give you all the information you need to know who to take stock in and who you need to toss aside into the trash dump.

Bill is in a broadcast studio in Sam’s Town sitting at a table waiting for his remote interview to start.

Bill:  Thanks for tuning in to listen to my presentation today. I’m doing a remote interview with Anthony Amey who is the Sports Anchor at WSB-TV Channel 2 in Atlanta. Anthony should be live broadcasting on the screen in a moment.

>

The techs in the broadcast studio have a split screen showing with Anthony Amey on one side of the screen and Bill on the other.

Bill:  Good to see you again Anthony! How’s the weather in Atlanta?

Anthony:  Hot and humid and lots of rain.

Bill:  I’m in Las Vegas so heat and humidity is common here. Anthony before we begin the remote interview can I ask you a question?

Anthony:  Sure!

Bill:  What do you call a roving cave man?

Anthony:  I don’t know.

Bill:  A meanderthal.

The two enjoy a hearty laugh over the joke and then they continue with their remote interview.

Anthony:  Bill there’s a huge stir over here concerning the choice of Iris to snub Uga the Bulldog, the mascot for the University of Georgia in Athens, and people want to know why Iris chose Pete the Cactus over Uga.

Bill:  To be honest Anthony I had no idea what was going on. But I kept digging and researching as I had to find the answer. It turns out the University of Georgia often changes out the dog that serves in the position of Uga the Bulldog. It could be due to death or injury of the previous Uga or they just wanted a different dog. Iris found out about this and she didn’t want to date an English Bulldog, about 30 miles from our home, only to have him transferred to another part of the country and she wouldn’t see him again. At least with Pete the Cactus there are no legal hurdles for Iris to see him as there was for her seeing Uga the Bulldog.

Anthony:  I understand you wanted to talk about stocks is that correct?

Bill:  Not just talk about stocks like you invest in with the stock market but the definitions of the word stock to see how they fit my match against Stephen Callaway at Climax Control 278,

Anthony:  Use all the air time you need Bill.

Bill pulls out a sheet of paper and starts reading from it.

Bill:  The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word STOCK as follows. The equipment, materials, or supplies of an establishment. A device for publicly punishing offenders consisting of a wooden frame with holes in which the feet or feet and hands can be locked. The wooden part by which a shoulder arm is held during firing. A liquid in which meat, fish, or vegetables have been simmered that is used as a basis for soup, gravy, or sauce. A dull, stupid, or lifeless person.

Anthony:  How do those definitions of the word stock fit with your match against Stephen Callaway?

Bill:  I have more stock when it comes to my abilities as a wrestler than Stephen Callaway has. Stephen should be placed in a stock to be punished for his arrogant attitude. After I’m done beating down Callaway he’ll wish he was smacked in the face with the stock of a rifle than to have been hit by me. As far as soup stock that’s about all Stephen will be worth doing with when I’m done with him. And, finally, stock as a dull, stupid, lifeless person? Ha ha ha! Look at Stephen Callaway and you can see how well that definition fits.

Anthony:  When we set up this remote interview you said you also wanted to talk about the meanings of BOOK VALUE and MARKET VALUE of stocks of companies. I also make the assumption once you do that you will again state how that relates to your match with Stephen Callaway.

Bill:  You’re right Anthony. BOOK VALUE means the value of a business according to their financial statements. Book value is calculated from the balance sheet, which indicates the difference between a company's total assets and total liabilities. If Company XYZ has total assets of $100 million and total liabilities of $80 million, the book value of the company is $20 million. This means if the company sold off its assets and paid down its liabilities the equity value, or net worth, of the business would be $20 million. As far as MARKET VALUE goes it is the value of a company according to the stock market. Market value is calculated by multiplying a company's shares by its current market price. If Company XYZ has 1 million shares and each share trades for $50, then the company's market value is $50 million. Market value is most often the number analysts, newspapers and investors refer to when they mention the value of the business.

Anthony:  Interesting.

Bill:  For Stephen Callaway it will be enlightening. Most of the wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling couldn’t figure out the answer to the question what does 2 plus 2 equal so I can’t expect them to understand Book Value and Market Value. However equating it to myself and the other wrestlers in the Federation my Book Value is 10 times higher than the Book Value of most of the other wrestlers and my Market Value is 100 times higher than most of the other wrestlers. What does that mean? Invest in Bill Barnhart and you’ll be rewarded with huge Dividend payments. Watch me at Climax Control 278 as I easily defeat Stephen Callaway.

WHAT IT IS. . .IS

Anthony:  Bill I’ve known you since you moved to the Atlanta Metro area in 2012. I admire your work in the sport of wrestling. We are so close as friends I would say we are like brothers. But, Bill, I have to play Devil’s Advocate here and mention that Stephen Callaway is very successful in the sport of wrestling and he has won a lot of matches and against some top names in the business. Don’t you think you might be over-stepping a bit claiming you will get a easy victory over Stephen Callaway?

Bill:  Okay, Anthony, let me ask you a question. Although Stephen Callaway has been very successful in Sin City Wrestling do you see his name listed as a Champion for any of the Championships in Sin City Wrestling?

Anthony:  Let me call up the Sin City Wrestling Championship history.

There is a short delay as Anthony Amey clicks on the Champions listing for Sin City Wrestling.

Anthony:  Well, Bill, I do not see Stephen Callaway’s name listed as a Champion in any Division. But to be fair about it your name isn’t listed either.

Bill:  You’re correct but that will change when I obtain a Championship while Stephen Callaway will be left scrounging around the city dump looking for something he can wear as a Championship Title Belt.

STYLE VERSUS STYLE

Bill:  Anthony I want Stephen Callaway to know he is at a disadvantage due to his wrestling style. Callaway relies on high flying maneuvers which carry a low success rate and a high failure rate. On the other hand I rely on technical wrestling and brawling with both carrying a high success rate and low failure rate. When Stephen does his high flying maneuvers I’ll swat him down like people do to a fly with a fly swatter. It will be a humiliating defeat for Callaway but I don’t care about his feelings. I ask everyone to watch my match and watch my predictions come true. Thanks for providing air time to hold this remote interview with me Anthony. When we return to Atlanta Metro me and Bea and Iris will drop by WSB-TV Channel 2 studios and we will take you out for lunch.

Anthony:  The pleasure is always mine Bill. Looking forward to your match.

With the remote interview over the techs in the studio cut the feeds and the screen goes black.


173
Climax Control Archives / The Battle Royal to Determine Who Faces World Champion at Violent Conduct
« on: August 26, 2020, 11:27:33 AM »
BATTLE ROYAL TO EARN SHOT AT WORLD CHAMPION AT VIOLENT CONDUCT

Narrator:  Last week Bea gave a great performance against Mercedes Vargas but unfortunately she came up short and Mercedes won the match. This next event Bea has been placed in a Battle Royal with the winner earning a shot at the World Champion at Violent Conduct.

OH GAWD! A KAREN!

We shift to a scene of Bea walking around Sam’s Town. Today she is dressed up more than she usually is with white slacks, black shoes, and a black shirt. As Bea walks down the hallway she gets confronted by a woman. Thinking the woman wants to greet her as she knows she is a wrestler in Sin City Wrestling Bea stops and waits for the woman to approach her. When the woman stops a few feet from her the situation gets strange.

Woman:  You! You Asians! It’s your fault we have the Corona Virus in the United States! Get the hell out of my country!

Bea:  Why do I always end up having to deal with people like you? Since you’re acting like a KAREN I will call you a KAREN.

Woman:  I’m NOT a Karen dammit!

Bea:  You damn sure are a KAREN! Although I’m Asian I’m from the Philippines. I’m also a United States Citizen so I’m not leaving MY country. The Corona Virus came from China. I have nothing to do with China. So you’re yelling at me, accusing me, and threatening me for something my ethnic background has nothing to do with!

Woman:  I don’t have to take that from you!

Bea:  We will see about that. You started it.

Bea pulls out her cell phone and calls Sam’s Town Security. A Security person shows up and asks the woman we are calling KAREN to please get away from Bea and stop harassing her as she has nothing to do with the Corona Virus. The woman decides to move on but as she gets down the hallway she continues yelling insults toward Bea concerning Asians from China bringing the Corona Virus to the United States.

THIS BATTLE ROYAL IS MINE TO WIN

Bea:  *sigh* Why am I a magnet that attracts people like that? Oh well their loss not mine. How many of you remember the comments on my match at Climax Control 277 against Mercedes Vargas? It said the winner of the match would be assigned to a Battle Royal to determine who faces off against the World Champion at Violent Conduct. I admit Mercedes turned my hold I had on her and she got the win but who is also in the Battle Royal? ME!!! Even though I lost the match it appears I impressed Management and they’re giving me a chance to show them how well I can do in a Battle Royal.

Bea smiles into the camera.

Bea:  You know how Battle Royals usually work. You must be tossed over the top rope and both your feet must touch the arena floor for you to be eliminated. In our Battle Royal Management put in place the rule if you get thrown out of the ring over the top rope and any part of your body touches the arena floor you’re eliminated. What that means is this will be a quicker Battle Royal than what you normally see. The last woman standing will face the World Champion at Violent Conduct. I’m going to be the last woman standing. When I go on to defeat the World Champion all you doubters will become believers in me.

Bea takes off down the hallway and this time she makes her way to the area where the ring is set up for Climax Control 278. Bea walks to the ring where she stands in front of it to continue with her comments.

Bea:  This is the ring where our Battle Royal will take place. This is where everyone in the Battle Royal will be eliminated except for me. Now I know what you’re thinking so let me throw your thoughts into the trash where they belong. Yes I’ve had matches against Candy, Maki, Mercedes Vargas, and Andrea Hernandez. I gave all of them a hell of a challenge and they all know they could have easily lost the match to me but they did manage to pull off a victory and I have commented favorably on their ability to do so. But this Battle Royal is different. It is not a one-on-one Singles match. It isn’t decided by a pinfall or submission. It is decided by tossing the others over the top rope where if any part of their body touches the arena floor they are eliminated. The bottom line on our Battle Royal is that I’ll be the last woman standing. I’ll be declared the winner of the Battle Royal. I’ll earn the shot at the World Champion at Violent Conduct. There’s nothing anyone can do to stop me!

Bea pounds her fists on her chest before continuing with her comments.

IT ISN’T HOW MUCH YOU SAY. . .IT IS WHAT YOU SAY

Bea:  People claim I’m a woman, and a wrestler, of few words. They complain that they don’t think I say enough in my presentations when getting ready for matches. On the other side of that when I do spend time with longer comments these same people complain that I’m too wordy and I should cut back on my comments. I damn sure don’t need to spew forth a lot of words to defeat any of you in this match. I’ll defeat you with my wrestling abilities. Since you’re all idiots who don’t know your left hand from your right hand just get your sorry asses back to the gene pool and see if they have any leftover intelligence genes you can borrow so maybe, just maybe, you can boost your IQ one or two points! Sheesh! The wrestlers in this Battle Royal cannot rely on the others in the match to watch their back. Everyone is working for their own benefit and there’s no benefit to helping others eliminate others in the match. I know what I’m doing in this match and when I win you all will go home and realize there’s a new ruler in the house and her name is Bea Barnhart!

DON’T PLAY THE GAMES IF YOU DON’T ENJOY TAKING CHANCES

Bea walks away from the wrestling ring and returns to the hallway where she walks to the Casino where she is to meet up with her husband Bill. When Bea arrives at the Casino she spots Bill playing slot machines but she notices there are no open slot machines next to Bill.

Bea:  Hi Bill. How are you doing on this slot machine?

Bill:  Getting payouts about 50 percent of the time which is better than the average for slot machines.

Bill and Bea hear the man next to Bill grumbling and complaining while playing the slots.

Man:  I’ve been playing this *bleep*ing slot machine for over an hour and haven’t won a damn thing! At $10 per spin that’s a hell of a lot of money!!Oh well I’m down to my last $10 so here goes.

The man spins and comes up empty again. He grumbles then stands up and leaves as he has no money remaining to play the slot machine. Bea takes the seat at the slot machine the man just left. Bea places a bet for $10 and the wheels spin and they land on a combination that pays her $1,000 for her $10 spin. While the lights and bells and buzzers are going off the angry man who left that slot machine a loser comes back and confronts Bea.

Man:  Hey! I just played that slot machine for over an hour and I never won any payout at all. You spin one time and win $1,000? That’s bullshit and you owe me that money as that money is mine!

Bea:  Excuse me? You got up and left this slot machine and I sat down and spun the wheels. I can’t help it if they landed on a combination that paid me $1,000 for a $10 bet. Maybe had you stayed at this machine for one more spin you would have hit the $1,000. Now please get away from me as you’re harassing and threatening me.

The man tries to grab Bea’s money winnings claiming they belong to him. Suddenly the angry man feels his arm being drawn behind his back and an arm around his neck as Bill just put the man into a hold to subdue him.

Bill:  Listen carefully. I’m going to release my hold on you and you need to calmly and quickly move away from me and my wife or you’ll likely get seriously hurt. Do you understand what I’m saying?

The man mumbles that he understands and begs Bill to let him go. When Bill releases the hold the man quickly leaves the Casino.

Bea:  Some people are jerks who feel they are entitled to everything. Just like a lot of wrestlers, including several in my Battle Royal, who feel they have the right to demand shots at Championships instead of earning them. Never once since I started wrestling in Sin City Wrestling have I demanded a shot at a Championship. I previously mentioned that the match comments for my match with Mercedes Vargas at Climax Control 277 stated the winner of our match was likely to be assigned to this upcoming Battle Royal for a shot at the World Champion. That gave the impression that the loser of that match would not be assigned to the Battle Royal. Even though I didn’t win against Mercedes here I am in the Battle Royal for a shot at the World Champion. If that doesn’t scream out to you that I’ve been noticed and appreciated then you are morons.

Bill excuses himself and he tells Bea he needs to check on Iris to make sure she is doing well. Bill walks out of the Casino and Bea plays the slot machine a bit longer but when no payouts come her way she stands up and walks away with her winnings from earlier.  Bea goes out into the hallway again and start walking around again. She passes a restaurant that looks interesting so she goes inside to see what they have available. As she enters the restaurant the camera person cuts their feed and the Network cuts to a commercial break.


174
Climax Control Archives / Next
« on: August 20, 2020, 07:02:28 PM »
NEXT OPPONENT. . .I MEAN VICTIM. . .PLEASE

Narrator:  Climax Control 277 is coming Sunday, August 23, 2020, and Bea Barnhart couldn’t ask for a better match for this event which is facing off against Mercedes Vargas. I turn you over to Bea to let her tell you what is going on.

SOME PEOPLE ARE DAMN STUPID

The scene changes to the Sam’s Town Hotel-Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada. We see Bea Barnhart walking around while a cameraman stays focused on her. Bea is dressed in black jeans, white pullover shirt, and white athletic shoes. Since Bill and Iris are not to be seen we assume they remained in their hotel room to allow Bea to get the attention she deserves during this air time. As Bea walks down the hallway toward the Casino she is confronted by someone who is apparently a participant in the Black Lives Matter, or BLM, movement. The person is a White woman and that causes Bea to question her motives. Bea politely moves to the side to pass the person but the person gets directly in front of her, blocking Bea’s way, and starts screaming at her.

BLM Woman:  Black Lives Matter!

Bea:  All lives matter!

BLM Woman:  No! You’re wrong! Only Black lives matter!

Bea:  I’m Asian so my life doesn’t matter?

BLM Woman:  Now you got it!

Bea:  You can’t be serious! You’re White and you are denouncing Whites and telling me my Asian life doesn’t matter? So you are seriously trying to tell me that your life doesn’t matter? Now please get out of my way so I can pass or you’re gonna get it!

Bea moves to the side to walk around the woman. The woman decides to be hostile to Bea and she steps in front of Bea and blocks her way. The next time Bea tries to get around the woman the woman reaches out and grabs onto Bea so Bea reacts by slapping her hands away. The White woman freaks out and calls for someone from Security to stop Bea from kicking her ass. When the Security person comes over the BLM Woman tells Security that Bea assaulted her. The Security person informs the BLM Woman that he saw the entire confrontation and he will testify to Police that she started it and Bea was defending herself from her attacks. When the BLM Woman continues to rant on Bea we can tell Bea wants to verbally, and physically, lay into her and drop her where she stands. Bea speaks to the Security person first.

Bea:  Would you kindly tell this moron who I am.

Security Person:  This woman is Bea Barnhart. She is one of the Superstar wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling. Had you continued your assault on her I assure you Bea would have ripped you a new asshole and likely had broken a few of your bones. My suggestion to you is to take your nonsense off the property of Sam’s Town and do not bring it back in the building. As for you, Bea, you are free to roam Sam’s Town while I take this so-called woman outside.

The Security person escorts the BLM Woman out of Sam’s Town and informs her not to try to enter again or she will be arrested and brought to jail. The scene returns to Bea in Sam’s Town.

Bea:  Some say, like that White BLM Woman, that only Black lives matter. I say all lives matter. I’m an Asian from the Philippines and I don’t appreciate people suggesting that Asian lives don’t matter. Same with my husband Bill as his life matters and he is White. What about Senor Vinnie? I’m sure he’ll tell you Hispanic lives matter. Pete the Cactus will tell you that Cactus lives matter. And our English Bulldog Iris will tell you that Dog lives matter. I’m so glad I’m not a misguided idiot like that woman.

THINK BEFORE YOU ACT

Bea walks the hallways again and when she walks by some windows she notices the pools at the Casino-Resort so she goes out where the pool is located to check it out. She notices there are several diving boards and platforms for people to use to dive into the water at the large pool. Bea turns and looks into the camera.

Bea:  My next match, at Climax Control 277, is against Mercedes Vargas. Mercedes, you’re about to find out that you’re truly washed up in the sport of wrestling. You want to blindly dive into this match not knowing what awaits you. I mean, come on Mercedes, you need to think before you act. You don’t get up on a diving board at a pool and dive into the pool and then when you’re in the air and on your way down you realize the pool is empty of water and you’re about to splatter on the bottom of the pool. You look first to ensure the pool has water in it before you dive in. Also you should always make sure there is toilet paper on the dispenser before you sit down on the toilet to take a crap. You don’t wait until you are done to find out you don’t have toilet paper. But, Mercedes, you’re basing your match with me based on your far distant past when you were actually relevant. You’re not the same wrestler you were back then. Yes you have much success in the sport of wrestling but from what I’ve seen lately you are barely as effective as a stopped clock.

WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

Bea chuckles over that comment then she leaves the pool area and walks down to look inside the Casino. She sees people playing slot machines and other Casino games.

Bea:  Many people think they can be successful and win at gambling in Casinos. There’s a reason nearly all Casinos are super rich. Statistics show that 90 percent of people lose money when gambling at a Casino. Want to know what I’ve observed Mercedes?  Way back when you were successful in the wrestling ring you were making comments that you never lose. Then when you started losing matches you starting saying that, well, maybe you don’t win all the time but you do manage to win more than half the time. Even recently, with your numerous losses, you’ve been bragging that you never lose when in fact you are losing more lately. Even when I see you losing 50 percent of your matches you try to spin it that you are not losing the majority of your matches. Technically you’re not losing the MAJORITY of your matches but you’re losing nearly HALF your matches. And, Dear Ms Vargas, when you step into the ring with me at Climax Control 277, you’ll lose again. You’re like the gamblers who go into Casinos and lose 90 percent of the time. To put it another way it is like a woman who went most of her life with a firm, perky, and sexy body, and now that she’s getting older her boobs sag down to her waist, her butt is damn near hanging down to her knees, and the age lines make her look like a road map. Sorry to have to be the one to tell you stuff like this but you’re beyond your prime and I’m going to place you into retirement.

Bea chuckles then she walks away from the Casino and heads to a lounge area where she sits down on a couch.

Bea:   I’ll wait for my husband Bill to meet me here. Meanwhile I’ll continue to let you know how much you suck Mercedes. I’ll make myself so perfectly clear even the dumbest person watching can easily understand it. This match isn’t just me, who is fairly new to the sport of wrestling, against you who is a veteran of the sport. It doesn’t come down to who has the best moves and holds. I believe nearly all matches start out with both wrestlers fairly even in wrestling abilities. The deciding factor isn’t always a height or weight advantage as we see smaller and lighter wrestler win over larger and heavier wrestler often. Don’t believe me? Go talk with my friend, Senor Vinnie, and ask him if he was defeated for the Internet Championship by a smaller and lighter wrestler. What is really comes down to is motivation. What’s the motivation for our match? It has been suggested the winner of our match will earn a spot in a Number One Challenger Battle Royal that’s coming soon. I want to be in that Battle Royal so when I kick everyone ass and emerge the winner, with the Number One Contendership in my possession, everyone will stop taking me lightly and will finally see me for who and what I am in the sport of wrestling.

Bea gives two thumbs up into the camera.

Bea:  Another thing that comes to mind is our ages. While you’re 40 years of age I’m 30 years of age. Those extra 10 years you carry are gonna weigh heavily upon you in our match. Maybe you think you’re a Mercedes but I think you’ve degraded into a Yugo which was one of the worst cars ever placed on the market. Then again maybe calling you a Yugo is the right thing for me to do because when I soundly defeat you then YOU GO into retirement. Ha ha ha!!!

While Bea is laughing at the expense of Mercedes we see Bill Barnhart walk into the room and sit down next to Bea. Bill gives Bea a hug and kiss.

Bill:  How is your presentation going? What have you talked about so far?

Bea:  I discussed why some people are so damn stupid they don’t even realize they’re stupid.

Bill:  I agree with that. And. . .?

Bea:  I talked about how people need to think before they act. I told Mercedes she has failed to think before acting which is why she has lost so many matches lately.

Bill:  And. . .?

Bea:  I talked about odds when it comes to betting at Casinos and ran it into comments how Mercedes has been taking too many risks with her career and that’s why she is losing lately. Of course I just had to bring up the fact that Mercedes is 40 and I’m 30 so with 10 extra years of age dragging her down she’s gonna lose to me. The glory days for Mercedes are over. She’s on a steep slide going down into a deep pit and the slide is greased so she’s sliding quickly. That’s it so far.

Bill:  Sounds good to me. I’ll leave you with your remaining air time. I’ll be in the Casino playing slot machines. When you’re done come get me and we’ll get something to eat.

Bill stands up, gives Bea a hug and kiss, then he walks out of the lounge and disappears down the hallway toward the Casino. The camera returns to Bea.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Bea:  There’s a term BOTTOM LINE which usually refers to a financial report where the information after the bottom line represents either the profits or losses of a business. Another term for the BOTTOM LINE is the FINAL RESULT. So, Mercedes, sit back and let me enlighten you. In every match I participate in I gain knowledge and experience and I improve. When looking at your recent non-accomplishments I’d say that your Bottom Line is showing a loss and  not a gain. If you were a business with your bottom line you’d be filing for Bankruptcy. The saying around the the Sports world, is that you, Mercedes, have “hit a bit of a slump inside the ring.” I guess it depends upon how you and others look at your slump. You probably look at your slump as a BIT OF A SLUMP but to others we look at your slump, which is about the size of the State of Texas, and state BIT OF A SLUMP MY ASS!!! But chill out Mercedes. Just accept what is. Nobody remains relevant in the sport of Wrestling forever. The time eventually comes for every wrestler when they have to face the fact that they got old and cannot compete against younger wrestlers. Please allow me to introduce myself to your geriatric self. I’m the young, viable, relevant wrestler and you’re the old, irrelevant, and non-viable wrestler. Now wasn’t that so damn simple even you could understand it?

Bea waves her hand into the camera in a motion that indicates she is brushing away Mercedes Vargas.

Bea:  Mercedes I’m not going to comment that all the wrestlers who defeated you recently were just so damn awesome that they overcame what you claim as your awesomeness. Nah! Some of them that defeated you were not top-notch competitors. How can you explain those losses? The only options you have is that you *bleeped* up and lost the match. . .your opponents got totally lucky. . .or you’ve lost your abilities and you suck. I go with two of those three options in that you totally *bleeped* up and couldn’t perform well in your matches and you suck. As badly as you’ve been performing recently I would say you’re the only adult I know who can stand up in a children’s wading pool and drown while standing in a few inches of water. Oh well I’m tired of rehashing how pathetic you’ve become. The remaining of my talking will be done with my wrestling abilities in our match on Sunday.

Bea informs the cameraman she is done with her comments and he cuts his camera feed which causes the screen to go black for a moment before the Network put up some advertisements.



175
Climax Control Archives / SAYINGS
« on: August 14, 2020, 04:34:41 PM »
SAYINGS

Narrator:  The saying goes that sayings come and go. Some have stuck around for generations and other sayings turn out to last a moment to be forever forgotten. As most of you know Bill Barnhart not only has a successful wrestling career he also does part time stand-up comedy as he feels getting people to laugh is good for their health. We will open with an item that took place on November 14, 2019, which was Bill’s 36th birthday, and before the Corona Virus thing came around, so you can see how Bill Barnhart works in stand-up comedy.

The scene shifts to the Whole World Improv Comedy Theater at 1216 Spring Street NW, Atlanta, Georgia, on November 14, 2019, which was Bill’s 36th birthday, and it was before the Corona virus thing which currently has Whole World Improve Comedy Theater closed for performances. The Emcee approaches the mic to introduce home town favorite wrestler and stand-up comedian Bill Barnhart.

Emcee:  We have a great deal for you tonight! We have with us an Atlanta local favorite, from Lawrenceville, Georgia. He is a great stand-up comic, and an outstanding wrestler in Sin City Wrestling, let’s hear the home town cheers for BILL BARNHART!!!

The crowd roars their approval as Bill stands up from the table he is sharing with his wife, Bea, and he steps up on the stage. Bill approaches the mic and thanks the Emcee for the introduction and he thanks the crowd in attendance for their support. Bill then launches into his stand-up comedy routine for this evening.

Bill:  Most of you know my stand-up routine where I usually make fun of others or make up stories of situations involving well-known people. Tonight I’m trying something new which is giving you some sayings to let you think about them. Some of them you may not get at all. Some may take you some time before the concept hits you. For instance I imagine a man performing oral sex on his Mermaid girlfriend and blurting out SOMETHING TASTES FISHY!

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  You want to know how I can tell if someone is really *bleep*ed up? I can tell they’re *bleep*ed up when a demon tries to take possession of their body and the demon turns and flees from them stating that they are too *bleep*ed up for them.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  My English Bulldog Iris is on a seafood diet. She sees food and eats it!

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill pulls out a can of beer, opens it, and downs it.

Bill:  ALCOHOL! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.

* moderate laughter from the audience *

Bill:  For me a balanced diet means a pepperoni pizza in each hand.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  What do you call ghost turds? Boo Shit!

* moderate laughter from the audience *

Bill:  Doing nothing is hard because you never know when you're done.

* moderate laughter from the audience *

Bill:  If you’re not supposed to eat at night why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

* moderate laughter from the audience *

Bill:  Don’t drink while driving. . .you might spill the beer.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

* loud laughter from the audience *

Bill:  Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

* moderate laughter from the audience *

Bill:  My English Bulldog Iris isn’t lazy. . .she’s just very relaxed.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  Always remember you're unique. . .just like everyone else.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  Quantity is what you count. . .quality is what you count on.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  When you're right. . .no one remembers. When you're wrong. . .no one forgets.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  If you can't see the bright side of life. . .polish the dull side.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest.

* moderate laughter from the audience *

Bill:  When life gives you melons. . .you might be dyslexic.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill: Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

* light laughter from the audience *

Bill:  You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

* moderate laughter from the audience *

Bill:  What do you call vegetarian meat? Incogmeato

* moderate laughter from the audience *

Bill:  In closing if people are talking behind your back. . . then just fart!

* loud laughter from the audience *

Bill:  Thanks for your support. Keep watching me in Sin City Wrestling!

Bill steps away from the mic and heads off stage to rejoin Bea at their table. Bill shakes the hand of the Emcee and thanks him for his introduction earlier. Bill arrives at his table with Bea where they settle in to catch the performances of the other comedians.

FAST FORWARD TO TODAY

THERE IS A NEW ROULETTE CHAMPION ABOUT TO BE CROWNED

Narrator:  Welcome back to real time. When the card was announced for Climax Control 276 Bill Barnhart received a surprise in that he opens the event with a Roulette Championship Match against O’Malley. This shows that Management has taken notice of Bill’s performance in the wrestling ring and they felt he has earned a shot at the Roulette Championship. It is not a surprise that he received a Championship match, as Bill is Championship quality, but more along the lines that he did not expect to get the opportunity this soon. Bill always tells wrestlers to never turn down a golden offer as the saying goes. I will now turn you over to Bill Barnhart, who is in his hotel room located near the Gold Coast Casino where Climax Control 276 will be held and I will let him tell you the rest of the story.

The scene changes to the hotel room of Bill Barnhart. Bea and their English Bulldog Iris are not in sight so we assume they went out or they are in the other room. Bill is sitting in a large overstuffed chair and he is wearing casual clothing consisting of blue jeans, a black pullover shirt with collar, and black athletic shoes. There is a small table next to the chair and it has a plate with several slices of pepperoni pizza on it and next to the plate are several cans of Classic Coke. The cameraman gives Bill the signal they are live broadcasting and Bill jumps into his comments.

Bill:  The opening to my comments for today was the stand-up comedy routine I did in Atlanta on my 36th birthday on November 14, 2019. The topic of that stand-up comedy routine was to get people thinking about sayings. I assure you that stand-up comedy routine on sayings was the hardest stand-up routine I’ve done to date. Unlike most of my stand-up routines where the subject matter is similar the one I did on sayings jumped around to many topics. Imagine how difficult it was to learn that stand-up routine and not screw it up when in my actual performance before a live audience. Same goes for my upcoming Roulette Championship match against O’Malley. I’m not somewhat ready for this match. I’m not ready ready for this match. I’m absolutely, positively, overwhelmingly ready for this match and O’Malley is going to find that out the moment the bell rings to officially start our match.

Bill reaches over and snags a slice of pepperoni pizza that he quickly eats.

Bill:  Speaking of sayings I want to let everyone know I always say what I mean and mean what I say. Since I stepped foot in Sin City Wrestling I’ve worked hard to earn my way into a shot at Championships. I’m not a wrestler that does what most wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling do which is to demand shots at Championships when they failed to earn it. Demand, demand, demand, without a damn thing to prove they deserve it. Dipshits! My first shot at a Championship in Sin City Wrestling came after I won a match against Joshua Acquin with the winner of our match getting a shot at the Roulette Championship. I had that shot at Griffin Hawkins and the Roulette Championship on October 20, 2019, at High Stakes IX. I didn’t win that evening but I proved to the world I’m Championship material. The second shot at a Championship was against Austin James Mercer for the Internet Championship. That match came as a surprise since I wasn’t, at that time, in the rankings but Management felt I deserved a shot and the Internet Championship. I didn’t win that evening but Mercer knew I took him to his limit and everyone else saw it. To the rest of you on the Roster stop demanding shit you didn’t earn. Just sit the *bleep* down and wait for Management to bring it to you.

Bill again pauses his comments and this time he downs a slice of pepperoni pizza and he washes it down with a can of Classic Coke.

Bill:   Buuuuurrrrrppppp!!!!! Ahhh! That felt good! Speaking of things that feel good I’ll admit when the card for Climax Control 276 was announced, and I saw I open the event in a Roulette Championship match against O’Malley, the current Internet Champion, I was thrilled. This will be my second shot at the Roulette Championship and I’m not gonna allow this opportunity to slip through my fingers. I’m in this match to go to the max and walk away as Roulette Champion. Once I earn the Roulette Championship it will be a hell of a long time before I relinquish it.

Bill downs another slice of pepperoni pizza but doesn’t drink any Classic Coke this time.

Bill:  O’Malley it is time for me to talk directly to you. I cannot sit before you and claim you suck as a wrestler because you don’t. You have proven, over and over, that you belong as a Champion. Also holding two Championships, one in Sin City Underground and one in Sin City Wrestling, is a great accomplishment and I applaud you.

Barnhart claps his hands, in a very slow and sarcastic manner, to show his so-called appreciation for what O’Malley has accomplished.

Bill:  O’Malley although you have accomplishments there’s a major stain on what you have accomplished. Although you possess good wrestling skills, but of course I possess outstanding wrestling skills, you tend to rely on the help and distractions caused by Darcy to get wins in matches. Something I cannot stomach is wrestlers that have to rely on an accomplice to cause a distraction during a match or outright getting involved by interfering in a match. That takes a lot away from a wrestler even if they have good wrestling abilities. If you’re not capable of winning matches without interference or distractions then you shouldn’t be holding any Championship.

Bill again pauses to finish the last slice of pepperoni pizza and this time he downs two cans of Classic Coke before continuing his comments.

Bill:  BUUUUURRRRRPPPPP!!!!!  Oh Yeah! O’Malley let me make this so plain and simple and easy to understand that even you, with your limited mental capacity, will be able to understand. Our match is for the Roulette Championship which you currently hold. I say currently because after our match I’ll own the Roulette Championship. I will defeat you O’Malley. No I didn’t say I might defeat you. I didn’t say I might possibly defeat you. I didn’t say maybe I’ll defeat you. There are no doubts that I’ll defeat you and that’s a fact you have to accept. We have no clue where the Roulette Wheel will land. Although I would love for the Roulette Wheel to land on something like Submission Only, Knockout only, or Hardcore Rules Anything Goes, regardless where the wheel lands I’ll win. Why? I’m a damn better wrestler than you can ever hope to be! I can deal with any type of match as I have, on several occasions, mentioned to the viewers. If I managed to survive and win most of the vile evil demonic sick twisted and life-threatening matches I had against my half-brother Chris Shipman you’re an easy opponent for me. Even on the official Climax Control 276 Card the information presented for our match says the same about me. I will quote it for you in case you have a difficult time reading and comprehending.

Barnhart holds up a copy of the Climax Control 276 card and he reads the match information for his match.

Bill:  Yes, O’Malley, some of what is listed as information for our match pertains to you but after it states that you earned one Championship in Sin City Underground and then the Roulette Championship in Sin City Wrestling but after mentioning you obtaining the Roulette Championship it says. . .But now that he's won the title, the hard part comes next -- he has to KEEP it! And his first defense is against a ring veteran and one of the toughest men in the sport bar none - "Bulldog" Bill Barnhart!  Did you get that O’Malley? Did you comprehend that? ONE OF THE TOUGHEST MEN IN THE SPORT it says. If you don’t believe me there are two people you can contact to verify what I said about having the most vile, disgusting, demented, demonic, and life-threatening matches against my half-brother Chris Shipman. One would be for you to try to find Chris Shipman and ask him if I’m telling the truth about our matches in Asylum Wrestling Alliance. The other person is Goth who was Owner of Asylum Wrestling Alliance and he will tell you the same thing I did. No I haven’t paid off Goth to say something nice about me. Ask anyone who was in Asylum Wrestling Alliance with us and they will confirm that Goth hated me nearly as much as my half-brother Chris Shipman did. So here’s what I want you to do O’Malley. Keep that Roulette Championship Belt shined up for me. I want that Belt so damn shiny I can see my reflection in it like I was looking into a mirror. Yes, O’Malley, you heard me correctly, I’m the wrestler who will leave our match as the Roulette Champion.

The door to the hotel room opens and we see Bea and Iris, their English Bulldog, walk into the room. Bea notices the cameraman in the room so she takes a seat next to Bill to listen to what he is discussing concerning his upcoming match. Iris scoots over to the table where the plate of pepperoni pizza was located and she starts sniffing strongly to take in the smell of pepperoni pizza only there’s no more pepperoni pizza on the plate.

Bill:  Sorry, Iris, but the pepperoni pizza that was on the table is gone because I ate it. There’s more in the kitchen and Mommy Bea will give some to you when I’m done with my comments for my upcoming match.

Iris gives Daddy Bill the sad look but it doesn’t work to get Daddy Bill to change when she will receive her pizza.

Bea:  What have you discussed so far?

Bill:  I opened with the video of my stand-up comedy act in Atlanta on my 36th birthday on November 14, 2019, where I did a skit concerning sayings. I discussed that I’m not a fool like most wrestlers who demand shots at Championships without earning it. I discussed that I was pleasantly surprised to see I have a shot at O’Malley and the Roulette Championship to open Climax Control 276. Before you walked in I had to lay it out for O’Malley why I’ll walk away as Roulette Champion. Do you have anything to add to my comments or would you prefer to run into the kitchen to satisfy the never ending appetite of Iris?

Bea:  Iris can wait. I’ll add some comments. First I would like to comment on our Mixed Tag Team match against Kris Ryans and Mikah, The Black Sheep, that we lost. You have to realize, Bill, that had you not run into the ring without being tagged in I would have defeated Mikah and we would have won the match.

Bill:  What? Are you serious or joking with me?



Bea:  I’m being serious. Me and Mikah were going at it and next thing I know the Referee was ordering you out of the ring for being the illegal wrestler in the match at that time. Why did you do that?

Bill:  I was tired of Kris and Mikah bending the rules so when the match turned ugly I decided if they could stretch the rules so could our team. The way I saw things whether I was ordered to leave the ring or not Mikah had you for the win. You have to accept that.

Bea:  Yeah you’re right Bill. Sorry for my comments. I really thought I could take out Mikah on my own but I miscalculated her.

Bill:  Bea you are still new to the sport of wrestling. You gain experience every time you step into the ring for a match. One day you’ll dominate the Bombshell Division. I did some calculations and it came out as follows. I have 18 years experience in wrestling which is currently over 216 months. You have 6 months in wrestling which is about 3 percent of the experience I have. I felt you were in trouble in the match against Mikah and the adrenaline kicked in and I jumped into the ring. I shouldn’t have done that but I did. It is behind us and in our next Mixed Tag Team match things will be different. Before you take Iris into the kitchen for her pizza can I ask her a question?

Bea:  Sure.

Bill:  Iris when we moved to the Atlanta Metro area you ended up having a crush on Uga the English Bulldog who is the Mascot for the University of Georgia in Athens, Georgia. Now you seem to have a crush on Pete the Cactus, who lives with Senor Vinnie, and you seem to have forgotten about Uga the Bulldog. You can’t have both Iris. You have to think about this situation and make a decision of either Uga or Pete.

Iris cocks her head back and forth but her sniffing the air shows she’s more interested in the pepperoni pizza in the kitchen than paying attention to Daddy Bill’s comments. However Iris perks up and pays attention when Daddy Bill places a poster of Uga the Bulldog on a stand and a few feet away from it a poster of Pete the Cactus on a stand.

Bill:  Okay, Iris, it is decision time. Are you gonna take Uga the Bulldog or Pete the Cactus? You can only choose one of them.

Iris stands between the two posters and she looks at Uga then Pete and back and forth. She finally walks up to the poster of Uga the Bulldog, places her nose against the poster and snorts at the poster.

Iris:  *SNORT*

Iris then turns around facing her butt to the poster of Uga and Bulldog then she kicks her feet back and knocks the poster over. Satisfied with herself Iris prances over to the poster of Pete the Cactus and starts drooling and sighing and licking the poster. That’s enough for Bill and Bea now that Iris has made her official decision.

Bea:  Come on Iris! I have pepperoni pizza for you in the kitchen!

Iris never has to be told twice there is food for her to eat. She races into the kitchen ahead of Mommy Bea and she sits there panting and moaning begging for her pepperoni pizza.

O’MALLEY’S LAST MOMENTS AS ROULETTE CHAMPION SHOULD BE CELEBRATED

Bill:  Well, O’Malley, we have a short time before we step into the ring and open Climax Control 276 with what will go down in history as the best match of that event. I know what you’re thinking too. You hope you can disqualify yourself when you know I’m about to defeat you for the Roulette Championship so you lose the match but not the Belt. I hope the Roulette Wheel lands on a spot that specifies if you get yourself disqualified you’ll lose the Roulette Championship to me. If it doesn’t land on that spot then I’ll just have to quickly, soundly, and thoroughly, defeat you so that even a blind person in the arena will be able to “see” how easily I defeated you to become Roulette Champion. Also, so you cannot claim you were not warned, if the Roulette Wheel lands on a spot that doesn’t allow for interference in the match then Bea and Iris will keep a close watch on Darcy. One wrong step, one wrong move, one illegal attempt, on her part and Darcy gets taken out. If it lands on something Hardcore where the rules are thrown out the window then we’ll have a match that really represents what a Roulette Rules Match should be. What’s the bottom line O’Malley? I’m gonna kick your ass so hard it’ll take you several months to grow back a new one. Enjoy your time as Roulette Champion leading up to our match on August 16th because I’m dethroning you as Roulette Champion. I’m seriously celebrating your final days with the Roulette Championship in your possession. Once I’ve earned the Roulette Championship I’ll do all I can to become the longest-reigning Roulette Champion in Sin City Wrestling. People like Equinox, Goth, James Tuscini, Kristopher Ryans, and Griffin Hawkins, will all watch their long runs as Roulette Champion evaporate into nothingness after I surpass them all with my Championship reign. That’s all I have for you today O’Malley but I damn sure have a lot more to give you during our match on Sunday. Thanks for watching and listening. Now please return to your pathetic life. HAR HAR HAR!!!

As Bill is laughing loudly the cameraman notifies the Network that Bill is done with his comments. They tell the cameraman to remain focused on Barnhart and that they will switch the broadcast back to regularly scheduled programming. A few moments later the scene shifts to regularly scheduled programming.

>


176
Supercard Archives / The Black Sheep v The Barnharts
« on: July 30, 2020, 05:04:23 PM »
 TALK IS CHEAP AND OUR OPPONENTS ARE EVEN CHEAPER

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart has a lot of things to discuss leading into his Mixed Tag Team match against Kris Ryans and Mikah at Summer XXXTreme VIII. This presentation can be described as a smorgasbord as it contains a bit of everything.

The scene changes to the suite of Bill and Bea Barnhart on the Sun Princess Cruise Ship. Bill is wearing moderate attire consisting of dress slacks, a white dress shirt, and black dress shoes. It isn’t often we see Bill in something other than casual clothing or his wrestling attire.

Bill:  Wow! That was a very strange doctor visit by Senor Vinnie and I feel bad Management felt the need to send Vinnie for an evaluation to determine his mental state for clearance to wrestle in Sin City Wrestling but that is their right to do so. The Psychiatrist was so confused he probably thought of giving up his practice in Psychiatry and becoming a Proctologist as there is less shit to deal with in Proctology than there is in Psychiatry. When the doctor heard that Senor Vinnie’s friend, Pete the Cactus, was dating my English Bulldog Iris I thought the doctor was going to drop a load on the floor. Want to know something? I’ve known Senor Vinnie longer than most of you have and more closely associated than most of you know about. We’ve worked as a Tag Team in the past and we won the Tag Team Championship and held them for a decent amount of time before the Federation we were in at that time closed up and went out of business. Rest assured that although Senor Vinnie is quirky, and he talks to Pete the Cactus and can understand what Pete is saying, Vinnie is more mentally stable than nine out of ten wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling. Watch his match at Summer XXXTreme VIII and watch Vinnie walk away as the new Internet Champion. Speaking of winning matches be sure you watch our match against Kris and Mikah so you can watch us dish out to them a humiliating defeat.

Bill chuckles.

Bill:  Speaking of a quirky person, and a person strict on discipline, my mother was all that and more. Once I asked mother why, since she drank a lot of coffee daily, and I mean a lot like in several pots of coffee daily, she didn’t drink decaffeinated coffee instead of regular coffee with caffeine in it. She looked at me and asked “Isn’t coffee something like 90 percent caffeine and that is what gives it the flavor and jolt?” I responded “Yes” and mother came back with “Why the hell would I want to drink decaffeinated coffee so all I’m drinking is flavored water when I also want the jolt of the caffeine?” I only drank regular caffeinated coffee after that conversation with mother. So that was one of her quirky things but Mother was also tough on us when we were misbehaving. If she was across a large room and saw us misbehaving on the other side of the room she could slap us across the face with a look. Yep. WHAP!!! Us kids would blurt out “What the hell was that?” Then we would look across the room and mother was giving us THE LOOK and we know we were just slapped from a distance with just her look. Damn Mother was good! Using my Mother’s quirky side and her discipline side as an example that is what I plan on doing to you Kris. I direct this at you because I’m not wrestling directly against Mikah in this Mixed Tag Team match. I don’t go into wrestling matches with decaffeinated wrestling abilities and then giving a weak performance. I’m jacked up on my high-volume high-octane caffeinated wrestling abilities and the desire to win and that is like being heavy on caffeine. Not only will I easily defeat you, like I did at Climax Control 266, I’ll be able to dominate you with a look like my Mother used to do from across the room. You’ll be standing across the ring from me and suddenly you get knocked back as if someone just punched you in the face. When you look up you see I’m on the other side of the ring giving you THE LOOK like my mother did to us kids to discipline us for misbehaving. Yes, Kris, you’ll be the victim of a virtual punch in the face with just my looking at you and when you try to complain to the Referee they’ll tell you Bill Barnhart is on the other side of the ring and he never touched you so SHUT THE HELL UP! Yes, Kris, I really am that awesome!

Bill pauses his comments for a moment to pick up a slice of pepperoni pizza from a plate sitting on the coffee table. Bill picks up a bottle of Frank’s RedHot sauce and liberally places the hot sauce on his pizza. Bill takes a bite of the pizza and with the Frank’s RedHot sauce on it. Bill enjoys the pizza and a huge smile comes on his face.

Bill:  Damn I love Frank’s RedHot sauce! To use their tagline FRANK’S REDHOT. . . I PUT THAT *BLEEP* ON EVERYTHING!  I’ll use that tagline by saying KICKING ASS USING MY FANTASTIC WRESTLING ABILITIES. . .I PUT THAT *BLEEP* ON ALL MY OPPONENTS!  Har har har! I’m gonna smoke your ass Kris!

Bill starts laughing hard but he quickly regains his composure.

Bill:  Kris you and others question me as I love to talk smack. Everyone, including you, want to question if all I can do is talk a talk a lot of words to make my point. Yes I talk words to make my point but I also get into the wrestling ring and physically make my point against opponents. Well, Kris, for you and everyone else who questions my talk I got news for you. I also know sign language so here’s one you’ll surely understand.

>

Bill places his hand out in front of him and into the watching camera. We see the well known hand signal for F-OFF. After a few moments Bill retracts his hand from in front of the camera.

Bill:  HAR HAR HAR!!! There ya go Kris! I use words to tell you to F-OFF and I can use sign language to say the same thing! You’re nothing more to me than a worthless filthy cockroach that I’ll squash under my wrestling boots. You mean nothing to me Kris. You didn’t mean anything to me at Climax Control 266 and you don’t mean anything to me at Summer XXXTreme VIII except that you mean a win for me. When we step into the ring it is the real thing, the real deal, and you have to figure out how to counter me, which you failed to do at Climax Control 266. Be ready for anything and everything because I’m bringing everything to the ring against you.

Bill laughs some more.

Bill:  In my 18 years in wrestling never once have I gone into a match thinking I might lose. I always go into matches believing I’ll win. Another item I hear a lot of wrestlers talk about is why they lost. My thought is if you lose then your opponent was better than you. But time after time after time I hear wrestlers use the excuse that they didn’t feel their opponent was better than them but that they were not on their game and failed to perform well enough to get the win. Huh? What the. . .? What sort of twisted logic is that? If you go into a wrestling match unprepared and you fail to perform at a level that would get you the win, and your opponent defeats you, then your opponent was better than you in that match. You can try to spin it any way you want but the bottom line, the truth, is if you lose a wrestling match you lost because your opponent was better than you. Geez! The lengths I have to go through to cram the truth down the throats of others!

Bill informs the cameraman he will be making his final comments. The cameraman calls into the Network to inform them when Bill is done with his closing comments he will cut the feed to his camera so they need to be ready for it.

Bill:  Pay attention Kris. You know I can take you out in a wrestling match dozens of ways. You know I can defeat you as I’ve already done so. During our match at Summer XXXTreme VIII if you’re about to lose, and somehow manage to get to your corner to tag Mikah into the match, which means I must leave the ring and Bea must enter against Mikah, be aware that Bea is as able to take Mikah out as I’m able to take you out. If you think running away from me to tag Mikah into the match is going to get you the win you are wrong. . .dead wrong. . .again. No matter which two wrestlers are the legal wrestlers in the ring our team will win.

With his comments done for today Bill returns to eating the pizza on the coffee table. Bill eats the pepperoni pizza quicker than Shaggy and Scooby Doo can and a smile comes on our face. The cameraman cuts his camera feed and the Network was on the spot by quickly transferring the broadcast to regularly scheduled programming for this time.


177
Supercard Archives / The Black Sheep v The Barnharts
« on: July 30, 2020, 05:02:49 PM »
 OOC:  I use the term “men” and “boys” as a general term directed at men who gawk at me. . .I do not know who they are just that they are gawking and I handle the situation.

I’M SENDING MIKAH BACK INTO RETIREMENT

Narrator:  I couldn’t help but chuckle when Bea Barnhart came to me with her concept for her comments today. My first thoughts were of a revolving door, a retirement home, and an unemployment line. But enough of what I am thinking. I will turn you over to Bea.

We get a shot of Bea Barnhart walking along the decks on the Sun Princess Cruise Ship. Bea is turning heads in a stunning white bikini. Actually it is Bea who is stunning and she makes the bikini stunning. Because the bikini is white it highlights Bea’s brown skin and the guys on the Sun Princess are losing their minds. Too bad for these drooling geeks because Bea belongs to only one man and that man is Bill Barnhart. There is a cameraman following Bea and she comments as she walks along the decks.

Bea:  As I’m walking around the decks of the Sun Princess Cruise Ship I see the jealous looks on the faces of women who thought they were IT until they saw me in my bikini with my sexy body and beautiful brown skin. I see how they look at me, then at themselves, and realize they’ve passed their prime or, to use another expression, they’ve passed their expiration date. That’s a perfect description of you Mikah. You WERE a good wrestler at one time but if you were not in decline you wouldn’t have had a reason to run off into retirement. Blonde wrestlers are out of style while while me, a Filipina with brown hair, brown eyes, a sexy body, and brown skin, is what people want. Guys no longer want the blonde hair, the cosmetically enhanced breasts, and butts filled with silicone. You, and these jealous women giving me evil looks, are past your prime, past your expiration date, and you’re no longer what others are looking for. Just like a brick of cheese that is shiny, smells good, and tastes good, once it goes past the expiration date nobody wants to look at it, smell it, or eat it, because it looks horrible, smells horrible, and tastes horrible. I know you’re jealous of me Mikah because my expiration date is decades in the future while yours passed when you ran away into retirement.

Bea continues to walk, or a better description would be strut, along the decks of the Sun Princess. Boys and men of all ages are drooling all over themselves when they see Bea but they have as much chance of success with Bea as a snowball has of surviving when flying into the surface of the Sun.

Bea:  Mikah at one point in your wrestling career you were hot in the wrestling ring and semi-hot as yourself outside the ring. Since you went into retirement, then decided to come out of retirement, you’re about as warm as the environment in Antarctica. Me? I’m so damn hot, in and out of the ring, they’re now classifying lava as cool when compared to me. Just look at all these worthless and pathetic men and boys thinking they have a chance to just hold out one finger and touch my skin. Not a chance! Not a frigging chance in Hell of that happening!

Bea continues walking the decks and when she turns a corner she meets up with her husband, and fellow wrestler in Sin City Wrestling, Bill Barnhart. The two lovingly embrace and enjoy a passionate kiss that is hot enough to melt steel. We see the shocked looks on the faces of the men and boys on the cruise ship, those who thought they had a chance with Bea, and we see the bulges in their swimsuits and shorts shrivel up. Bill glances over at the sea of pathetic wannabe males then he looks at Bea.

Bill:  Are these geeks harassing you? Do you need me to have a talk with them to cool them down?

Bea:  That won’t be necessary. When they saw us meet up and tightly hug and share a hot kiss all their male hormones died a horribly painful death. Most of them won’t be able to get an erection again for weeks.

Bill:  I heard a rumor that Mikah was trying to use her experience from other wrestling federations to build up, and distract everyone, from the fact she left active wrestling in Sin City Wrestling to enter a life of retirement. You know what, Bea, I mentioned a few times that I’m a multiple Grand Slam Champion from my time in Asylum Wrestling Alliance and other wrestlers told me what I did in the past in other wrestling federations is useless information as we’re talking about Sin City Wrestling now so they told me to stop mentioning stuff I accomplished from previous federations. I guess some wrestlers still need to continue to call up old information to justify themselves while condemning me who mentioned it once and they went off on me.

Bea:  Reminds me of actors and actresses who are getting older and can’t get leading roles any longer. They bitch, moan, and complain, even though the roles they want are for younger actors. Then when they get a role offered to them to play a parent or grandparent they take offense to the offer. Some people, Mikah included, need to realize when they’ve passed their prime and they need to stop stepping into the wrestling ring and humiliating themselves.

Bill and Bea again enjoy a hug and kiss, much to the continued pain of the men and boys watching them. Bill and Bea part and go their own way. Bea continues walking around the decks.

Bea:  Mikah I would like to present to you some facts. There are wrestlers throughout history who were the greatest of their day. However they got older and were no longer competitive and went into retirement. Since we’re dealing woman to woman here the one that immediately comes to mind is Moolah. She was the epitome of what a woman wrestler should be. Even when she got older, and I mean OLDER she was still able to compete and defeat younger wrestlers. But she did go into retirement eventually. You’re not at the level of Moolah. You don’t even come up to the top of her wrestling boots. You were good in your day. You held Championships in your day. But you’re no longer competitive. You’re no longer able to perform at a high level in the ring. You’re washed up and need to go back into retirement. Now, Mikah, if you still don’t understand where you stand in Sin City Wrestling then you really are dumber than I thought you were.

Bea continues to walk the decks while the boys and men gawk at her. Bea yells out to them why don’t they go chase Mikah instead of her and they gag and laugh and run away.

Bea:  Mikah you must think Sin City Wrestling has a revolving door that spins and spins and spins and you can spin through the revolving door to come and go as you please. Maybe that’s the fantasy of what you think but I’m going to give you reality. The door is a regular door and once I shove your pathetic ass out the door I’ll kick the door shut so hard it will whack you in the ass and send you staggering down the sidewalk. You’ll be welcomed back at your retirement home as I heard they kept your bed open for your return. And don’t forget that since you’ll be out of a job again the Unemployment office has services that can get you through the financial hard times you will experience.

Bea lets out a loud laugh at her comments to Mikah.

Bea:  Mikah I imagine you might be praying you can get a victory over our team. I don’t care how religious you are your prayers are not going to work to get you a win. I don’t care how many prayers you send up, or how many Hail Mary’s you recite, or how much Holy Water you want to spray around, there’s no way you are going to defeat me!

Bea keeps on her walk along the decks of the Sun Princess and she makes sure the men gawking at her know she’s not interested in them as they are pathetic examples of males compared to her husband Bill.

Bea:  Mikah you did all the obligatory and expected comments that comes from opponents who know they’re in over their head against me and you know you’re going to lose. You spewed forth the standard insults and you only accomplished showing everyone you’re a failure. My comments on your comments? Nice try. . .Nice fail. I’ll give you credit on one aspect of what you did leading up to our match. You read the entire book titled DUMB ASS THINGS TO SAY TO YOUR WRESTLING OPPONENTS and you quoted all the dumb things perfectly.

Bea stops in front of a group of guys who stare at her and drool. Bea grabs a large glass of sweet tee off the counter of a drink bar. The glass is icy cold and Bea rubs the glass against her head and neck, up and down her arms, over her chest, over her stomach stopping short of the top of her bikini, all the while allowing the sweet tea to spill out of the glass and drip down her skin. The guys watching this are going insane over this performance.

Bea:  In closing I want to discuss the level of wrestling in Sin City Wrestling. Here in Sin City Wrestling the action is not like most other Wrestling Federations where the action is real but the outcome of the matches are pre-determined and scripted to end a certain way with a certain winner. Here in Sin City Wrestling we walk into the ring and go all out to get the win. Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose but we give it all we’ve got and we don’t work off a script. Bottom line Mikah? We win. . .you and Kris lose.

Bea takes off in a strut along the decks and the cameraman keeps focused on Bea until she turns a corner then he cuts his camera feed and the scene goes black.


178
Supercard Archives / The Black Sheep v The Barnharts
« on: July 24, 2020, 02:46:40 PM »
 THE MIXED TAG TEAM WE ARE FACING IS A JOKE

Narrator:  Hi! I’m the Narrator who gives you commentary to lead you into the comments by Bill and Bea Barnhart so you will be aware of what they are planning to talk about. Bill told me he will talk about the joke Mixed Tag Team consisting of Kris Ryans and Mikah, who call themselves Black Sheep, they face at Summer XXXTreme VIII.

The scene changes to the room of Bea and Bill Barnhart on board the Sun Princess cruise ship located in Los Angeles, California. Bill Barnhart is sitting on the couch with his English Bulldog Iris sitting next to him. Bill is wearing khaki shorts, flip flops, and a pink pullover shirt. Iris? As always she is wearing her pink diamond-studded dog collar. The cameraman informs Bill they are airing now so Bill launches into his comments.

Bill:  It is nice to be able to watch Bea’s comments before I air my comments. Bea sure did lay down some great smack. I hope you don’t mind if I play music in the background while I comment on our upcoming Mixed Tag Team match against Kris Ryans and Mikah at Summer XXXTreme VIII. The song I’ll have playing was one I enjoyed as a kid growing up in Oakland, California. Although it was an older song we had a place named Pleasant Valley which was located about half way between Sacramento, California, and Lake Tahoe, so it was a name of a town we were familiar with. The song is PLEASANT VALLEY SUNDAY by The Monkees.

Bill starts the playback of The Monkees PLEASANT VALLEY SUNDAY and we hear it play in the background.

The local rock group down the street
Is trying hard to learn their song
They serenade the weekend squire
Who just came out to mow his lawn

Bill:  Kris and Mikah you are going to learn that you are no match for me and Bea in this Mixed Tag Team match. You two, like the local rock group down the street in the song, are trying to learn your routine as a Mixed Tag Team. Hard to work as a team when the team members have attitude issues with each other.

Another pleasant valley Sunday
Charcoal burning everywhere
Rows of houses that are all the same
And no one seems to care

Bill:  Rows of wrestlers that are all the same is what I see in Sin City Wrestling. Kris and Mikah you are no exception. You are copycats and losers that’s all.

See Mrs. Gray, she's proud today
Because her roses are in bloom
And Mr. Green, he's so serene
He's got a TV in every room

Bill:  Every television in every room will be tuned into Summer XXXTreme VIII to watch me and Bea destroy you two.

<Another pleasant valley Sunday
Here in status symbol land
Mothers complain about how hard life is
And the kids just don't understand

Bill:  Wrestlers complain how hard their careers are and others just don’t understand. Your wrestling career is only hard if you make it hard or think it is hard. If you’re comfortable in what you are doing in the ring there’s no such thing as a match you cannot understand.

Creature comfort goals, they only numb my soul
And make it hard for me to see
Ah thoughts all seem to stray to places far away
I need a change of scenery

Bill:  Kris, Mikah, wrestlers like you two tend to live in the past, to cherish their past records and success in the ring, but unfortunately that allows you two to let your minds wander which will keep you distracted in our match. You represent what WAS in the past. Me and Bea represent what IS now in the sport of wrestling and Sin City Wrestling.

Ta ta ta ta, ta ta ta ta
Ta ta ta ta, ta ta ta ta

Another pleasant valley Sunday
Charcoal burning everywhere

Another pleasant valley Sunday
Here in status symbol land

Another pleasant valley Sunday (a pleasant valley Sunday)
Another pleasant valley Sunday (a pleasant valley Sunday)
Another pleasant valley Sunday (a pleasant valley Sunday)
Another pleasant valley Sunday (a pleasant valley Sunday)
Another pleasant valley Sunday (a pleasant valley Sunday)

The song PLEASANT VALLEY SUNDAY by The Monkees is finished and Bill turns off the playback device.

Bill:  Kris your team sucks. Yeah you heard me correctly. I didn’t mince my words. I didn’t try to say something complicated that you would claim you didn’t understand. Straight up your team sucks. You lost to me at Climax Control 266 when I knocked you out with my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold. You came into that match thinking because you had success in wrestling before that you would have it again against me. Wrong! I smoked your ass like a cheap cigar! If you think this upcoming match is going to be easier for you than what you had against me at Climax Control 266 I’ll ask Iris to come into the conversation to tell you how it is going to be. Come here Iris! Time for you to get a few minutes of camera time.

Iris scoots over next to Daddy Bill and their interaction begins.

Bill:  Iris please tell the viewers what the outside covering of a tree is called.

Iris:  BARK!!!

Bill:  Bark is correct! Good job Iris! Kris if you and Mikah think you’re going to come into our match and have an easy time against me and Bea then you’re damn sure barking up the wrong tree! Iris could you tell the viewers what the top of a house is called?

Iris:  ROOF!!!

Bill:  Roof is the correct answer Iris! Good job again! Now, Kris, if we were wrestling in a regular arena I would make the comment that our defeat of your team would be so epic that we would blow the roof off the event center. Not sure if we can literally accomplish that on the Sun Princess Cruise Ship but we can symbolically blow the roof off the venue where our wrestling match will be held. Final question Iris. What is the consistency of Sandpaper?

Iris:  RUFF!!!

Bill:  You’re correct again Iris! I promise you, Kris, this is going to be one of the roughest matches you’ve ever participated in. I’ll make this match so rough on you that you’ll wish you never signed your name on the Contract for this match. Thanks for helping me out with that segment of our comments Iris. Good girl!

Iris is pleased with her performance and she kisses Daddy Bill on the cheek then she slides over on the couch to catch up on her beauty sleep.

Bill:  Kris since you and Mikah are a joke of a team I have a few jokes I’d like to share with you. I’m doing this to try to make your loss to us more acceptable to you. By telling jokes that people will be laughing at you can then try to claim people are laughing at the jokes and not at you and Mikah. So, Kris, are you ready for some humor?

Bill lets out a laugh before starting with the jokes.

Bill:  When I watch movies I think about what the movie would have been like if they cast someone else in the starring role. One that came to mind is what if they cast the Beast from Beauty and the Beast as the Elephant Man? Remember the famous line in the movie uttered by the Elephant Man I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!! but with the Beast as the Elephant Man the reply would be UH. . .YES YOU ARE AN ANIMAL!!!

Bill lets another loud laugh loose.

Bill:  What if a Frog was driving a car and his car broke down and they had to call for a tow truck to tow their car to the auto shop? Wouldn’t that be considered that he was a towed Toad?

Bill lets out a rip snorting laugh. He recovers himself to continue with his comments.

Bill:  Kris this will be my final comments and I’m directing my comments at you since you’re one of those who is guilty of doing what I’ll talk about. Many wrestlers claim that I’m not Champion material. You and others claim I don’t deserve to be Champion because you think I don’t look like a Champion, or you claim that you think I don’t have the body of a Champion, or you think I don’t have the right attitude to be a Champion. Here in the sport of wrestling we’re not all created by using the same cookie cutter so that we all end up looking the same, talking the same, and wrestling the same. That would be the most boring wrestling federation ever. Kris I don’t give a damn what you and other wrestlers think of me. I don’t give a damn what the fans think of me. The opinions of others are just that. . .opinions and I don’t take the opinions of others seriously. I know my wrestling abilities and how I perform in the wrestling ring. Just because I don’t look like you, walk like you, talk like you, or have the same wrestling style as you, doesn’t mean I’m not better than you. For damn sure, Kris, I was way better than you at Climax Control 266 when I knocked you out with my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold. I’ve already proven I’m better than you and I’m ready to prove it again at Summer XXXTreme VIII.

Bill informs the cameraman he’s done with his comments for today. The cameraman cuts his camera feed and the screen goes black.


179
Supercard Archives / The Black Sheep v The Barnharts
« on: July 24, 2020, 02:45:36 PM »
 MIKAH CAME OUT OF RETIREMENT TOO SOON

Narrator:  Bea Barnhart informed me that she and her husband, and tag team partner, Bill Barnhart, decided to run separate comments leading up to their Mixed Tag Team match against Kris Ryans and Mikah at Summer XXXTreme VIII. Without further delay I turn you over to Bea Barnhart who is in their room on board the Sun Princess cruise ship located in Los Angeles, California.

The scene switches to the room of Bea and Bill Barnhart on board the Sun Princess cruise ship located in Los Angeles, California. The camera pans around the room and from what we see we think Bea and Bill have been assigned to a medium size room, possibly one of the Mini Suites, which is a good size for Bill, Bea, and Iris their English Bulldog. Bea is casually dressed today in jean shorts, a white tank top shirt, and flip flops. When the cameraman returns his camera to focus on Bea she launches into her comments for her Mixed Tag Team match at Summer XXXTreme VIII. We don’t see Bill or Iris in the room so we assume they are out and about checking out the Sun Princess cruise ship.

Bea:  As the Narrator informed you we have decided to run separate comments on our upcoming Mixed Tag Team match at Summer XXXTreme VIII. We didn’t feel the need for me to comment much on Kris Ryans and Bill didn’t feel the need to comment much on Mikah because in Mixed Tag Team matches once a member of a team tags out the other team member must enter the match. Male versus male and female versus female. Simple concept for this type of match and the winner of the match, me and Bill of course, is by pinfall, submission, count out, or disqualification.

Bea stops for a moment to partake in a sip of sweet tea before continuing her comments.

Bea: Ahhhh! I love sweet tea and where we live in the State of Georgia two drinks are considered the main drinks in Georgia. The first is Coke since the headquarters for the Coca-Cola Company is Atlanta. In fact Coke is such a part of Georgia if you go to a restaurant and you order a Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, or any other soda, they will only bring you a Coke. If you ask for unsweetened ice tea they’ll look at you like you’re crazy. Coke and Sweet Tea is IT in Georgia and I’m IT in Sin City Wrestling.

Bea sips more of her sweet tea then continues her comments.

Bea:  At Summer XXXTreme VIII me and my husband, Bill Barnhart, are in a Mixed Tag Team match against Kris Ryans and Mikah, also known as Black Sheep. From the rumors I’m hearing there seems to be tension between Kris and Mikah and that’s not a good thing for Tag Team members to have. On top of that, if I understand the information correctly, after having a successful time in Sin City Wrestling Mikah went into retirement like Kris Ryans did. Mikah, I’m not here to guess why you went into retirement and I’m not here to guess why you decided to come out of retirement. I’m here to tell you that I take you seriously in this match as your history in Sin City Wrestling speaks for itself. Although I may have missed something I did come up with you were a three-time Bombshell Champion, one-time Roulette Champion, and one-time Internet Champion. Holding five championships is a major accomplishment. Even so the fact remains that although you won championships five times you also lost those championships five times. I know, however, that a wrestler of your talents, abilities, and history in the wrestling ring should still be a reasonable challenge and I accept that challenge. I’ll also let you know that I’ll defeat you if we are the two legal wrestlers inside the ring at that time. I’ll re-state that I take you seriously, I don’t take you lightly, and I’m going to be on my best game in our match. Even with all my praise for your work in Sin City Wrestling, Mikah, you have to ask yourself if maybe you came out of retirement too soon, like Kris Ryans did, and you remember what happened to him right? Kris came out of retirement, faced my husband Bill Barnhart, and Bill made Kris submit in the match. Is that what you’re facing at Summer XXXTreme VIII in our match? We’ll have to wait to find out.

Bea finishes the sweet tea in her glass then she refills her glass from the pitcher on the table in front of her.

Bea:  I always look at the entire picture to see what comes up. The fact that you’ve been successful in Sin City Wrestling, holding then losing, five Championships, you still went into retirement. There’s two things I’ve never understood in the sport of wrestling. The first are wrestlers who are in their high forties in age into their fifties, and some older than that, yet they continue to wrestle as if they can compete against younger and more agile wrestlers. The second, which is the category you fall into, are wrestlers who are successful yet they run off into retirement even though they knew they could still compete. Or. . .could you? Did you go into retirement so you wouldn’t have to suffer more losses and walk away as a chump? Did you go into retirement because you saw young talented wrestlers coming up and you knew you couldn’t compete with them? I have no clue why you left wrestling when you did and I honestly don’t want to know. Just know this Mikah that when I soundly defeat you in our match at Summer XXXTreme VIII you’ll then have a valid reason to go back into retirement.

Bea drinks half the sweet tea in her glass then refills it from the pitcher on the table which drains the pitcher.

Bea:  Everyone knows that me and Bill play the game of wrestling cleanly and honestly. We don’t violate the rules. We don’t interfere in matches. We don’t hire interference in matches. We take the hurt to our opponents fully within the rules of the match we are involved in. On the other hand my research shows you and Kris often rely on the wrong things to get you over in a match. I don’t know who our Referee will be but I’m hoping it is one of the very strict, by the book, ready to call a Disqualification when needed, and one who will not take crap from those of us involved in the match. Mikah I know what you two are hoping for. You want one of the Referees who is known to get easily distracted. You want one of the Referees who will back down when intimidated by the wrestlers who are violating the rules. You want a Referee who makes a very slow count on a pin attempt. You’re hoping for injustice and we’re hoping for justice. If we have a great Referee for our match you two are going to lose. That’s all I need to state for today. Please take in all I’ve said and make sure you fully understand where I’m coming from. I don’t want to hear you claim you didn’t know this or that when you lose the match to us.

Bea ends her comments and the cameraman calls into the Network to tell them to get ready to cut back to regular programming once he cuts his camera feed. Bea smiles into the camera and waves to the viewers. After a short time the cameraman cuts his feed and the screen goes black for a few seconds before the Network returns to regularly scheduled programming.


180
Climax Control Archives / What the Hell is a Maki?
« on: July 16, 2020, 09:17:33 AM »
 WHAT THE HELL IS A MAKI?

Narrator:  When Bea’s match against Maki was announced, and Bea came to me to give ideas for my lead-in comments, the first words out of Bea’s mouth was WHAT THE HELL IS A MAKI? We looked it up and found it amusing. I will turn you over to Bea Barnhart who is in her room at the Saxon Hotel.

The scene changes to a shot of Bea Barnhart in her room at the Saxon Hotel. Bea is sitting at the dining table dressed in black slacks, a white blouse, and black athletic shoes. The cameraman pans around the room and we get a shot of Bill and Iris relaxing on the couch watching television and they are watching the favorite program for Iris which is Animal Planet. The cameraman returns his camera in the direction of Bea at the dining table and we notice that Bea has a bowl of chips, some salsa dip, and several cans of Classic Coke.

Bea:  When the card for Climax Control 275 was announced, and I saw I was facing off against Maki, my first reaction was I laughed so hard I nearly went unconscious. Maki? Seriously? Maki I want to know how you managed to gain the attention of Management that they would put you into the Bombshell Roulette Championship match at Summer XXXTreme VIII, instead of me being in the match. I should have been in that match instead of you. I guess Management likes creepy women who have to cover their ugly faces with makeup then try to present themselves as some sort of demonic or spiritual being. Nah! Maki you’re just another in a long line of fake wrestlers who have to resort to stupid gimmicks to try to get attention. I rely on my superior wrestling skills to get attention. I don’t have to cover my face with makeup because I’m not ugly like you. I’m beautiful and flaunt it every chance I get. Studying wrestling I’ve noticed there have been many wrestlers who wore a mask or makeup to try to be something they were not. Some thought the mask would hide their feelings so opponents wouldn’t know if they are hurt or not. Some thought the makeup covering their face would do the same thing. Sorry to inform you, Maki, but a person’s eyes tell the story every time. Whether a person wears a mask, or makeup like you do, your eyes are visible and I can tell when you are hurting and I’ll take advantage of you at that time.

Bea takes a break to chomp on some chips and dip then she washes it down with a can of Classic Coke.

Bea:  I looked up the definition of Maki and found it to be rather hilarious. The definition I kept seeing is that Maki is basically Sushi but prepared just a little differently and usually cut into smaller pieces. So you call yourself a name which means raw fish and spicy condiments? I may be from the Philippines where I enjoy eating fish but I damn sure don’t eat raw fish. Then to add to your fakeness did you know that in over ninety percent of Sushi restaurants they don’t even use real fish? Did you know they usually substitute the real fish with vegetables or other non-fish items. Fake fake fake fake fake just like you!

Bea breaks again to dine on chips and dip and another can of Classic Coke.

Bea:  So, Maki, I see from your information that you are from Brighton, England, which means Brit and also a twit. Surely you’re familiar with the Pink Floyd song titled ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL. I’m sure you’re also familiar with the words of the song that I’ll ask the Network to put up on the screen for you to see:

We don't need no education
We don’t need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

After the words to Pink Floyd’s Another Brick in the Wall is up on the screen long enough for viewers to read it they take the words off the screen and we return to Bea at the dining table in her room in the Saxon Hotel.

Bea:   So, Maki, let me entertain you with my version of this song. It is based on the fact that I’ve seen you hanging out in the hallway acting like a fool and a twit. My version goes as follows:

I don’t need wrestling education
Because I’m the best wrestler in the nation
And, Maki, if you think you’re the all
Then, Maki, for sure you’re gonna fall
Hey! Maki! You are gonna fall!
All in all you’re just another twit in the hall
All in all you’re just another twit in the hall

After Bea is done with her version of Another Brick in the Wall she bursts out in laughter and it takes her a moment to regain her composure.

Bea:  So, Maki, why do I consider you to be a twit? Simply put a twit is a silly or foolish person. Are you silly? Naming yourself after a form of Sushi is silly and so is wearing more make-up than Mimi from The Drew Carey show is silly. Are you foolish? Signing your name on a Contract to wrestle against me will go down in the history books as the most foolish thing you’ve done in your life! Hopefully your loss to me this Sunday will serve as a wake-up call for you. And if If you think you can sneak a win over me in our match you damn sure aren’t thinking. You’re going into Summer XXXTreme VIII off a loss to me and that will hinder you in your Bombshell Roulette match. Nothing, not even some pathetic makeup wearing geek like you, can defeat me. And since I did my version of Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd for your entertainment and insult I have another short lyrics from a Pink Floyd song that you may be familiar with. The song is an instrumental but there are twelve words that fit your situation perfectly. Remember I mentioned that Maki is basically Sushi that is cut into little pieces? Here are the words from the Pink Floyd song ONE OF THESE DAYS that I ask the Network to put up on the screen.

The Network puts up the only words spoken in Pink Floyd’s song ONE OF THESE DAYS.

ONE OF THESE DAYS I’M GOING TO CUT YOU INTO LITTLE PIECES

Bea again bursts out in uncontrollable laughter. Unfortunately she was drinking a Classic Coke when she started laughing and she spewed the Classic Coke out of her mouth onto the dining table. She quickly wipes the table clean before continuing with her comments.

Bea:  Sorry about that! Maki is so damn hilarious I can’t help but burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Just like they cut Sushi down into little pieces and call it Maki I will cut you down into little pieces and call you loser. So, Maki, with some of the items I wanted to discuss out of the way what else can I demean you with? Oh! I know! What did I glean from your information sheet Maki? That you’re not original. That you have fancy names for basic holds and maneuvers. And you probably cover your face with heavy makeup because you’re uglier than a Baboon’s ass. Yeah yeah yeah you’ll try to deny everything I’ve said about you and you have the freedom to do so. However you must understand that all the denying in the world doesn’t make you right and me wrong. What will make me right is when the Referee counts my pinfall victory over you or you tap out to submit to me in the match. What will make you wrong is when you lose the match to me by pinfall or submission and have to walk into the Bombshell Roulette Championship at Summer XXXTreme VIII coming off the loss. Please enjoy what time you have remaining until our match on Sunday, July 19, 2020. Why would I say that to you? Because once you step into the ring with me and our match starts you will lose quickly to me and be humiliated to the point you’ll want to wear a brown paper bag over your head to hide your identity as your humiliation will be immense. Damn! I’m gonna enjoy defeating and humiliating you this Sunday!

Bea looks over to the couch where Bill and Iris are watching Animal Planet.

Bea:  Bill would you like to toss in some comments before I close this session?

Bill:  All I want to say is whether you win or lose your match against Maki we are going to be involved in a Mixed Tag Team match at Summer XXXTreme VIII. When we win that Mixed Tag Team match we will prove to everyone we are the future of the Mixed Tag Team Division.

Bea:  Thanks for your comments Bill. Maki in closing I would like to state to you why I’m superior to you in every area of wrestling. I have three wins in the wrestling ring and all of them were by submission. Not many wrestlers can make that claim. Yes it is nice to be able to wear down an opponent, or injure them, and get a pinfall victory. It is nice to have your opponent run away from you and get counted out for you to win that way. It is always interesting when an opponent knows they will lose to you so they deliberately do something to get disqualified. But for a wrestler like me to dominate opponents to where I make them tap out and submit in the match proves I’m the superior wrestler in our match.

Bea informs the cameraman she’s done with her comments. The cameraman informs the Network he’ll set his camera into a slow fade to black but he’ll pan around the hotel room before the scene goes black. As he pans around we again see Bill and Iris sitting on the couch watching Animal Planet. The cameraman continues panning the room until he returns to another shot of Bea Barnhart and then the scene goes to black.


Pages: 1 ... 7 8 [9] 10 11 ... 15