Nerves

Feeling nervous is a fact of life. It’s something that you are going to have to deal with no matter who you are or what you do. From a teenager starting their first job, not knowing what to do or where to go, to a CEO negotiating billion-dollar deals, and in the life of a professional wrestler, nerves tend to pop up more often than not. Every single time Alicia is getting ready to go out before a big match the nerves will bubble up. But that isn’t always a bad thing. Nerves let you know that you’re alive. Nerves let you know that what you’re about to do means something to you.

That your actions will have consequences, and what you want to do will be rewarding. Nerves keep us on our toes, stop us from being complacent, and push us towards our goals and what we want to do.

And for Alicia, she had a lot to be nervous about.

Over the last few months, she had believed that maybe her wrestling career needed to start winding down. That maybe it was time for her to start looking at retirement. To teach the next generation or to stay at home with her kids. Maybe to start planning on having another child with Austin. All these thoughts ran through her head, but at the same time there was a small problem. She still had the burning passion for professional wrestling. To be a professional wrestler. To turn up to work and do her best and try to become a champion. This is something that would never disappear, and because of that, she knew she wasn’t ready to hang it up.

Every match that she had, she was nervous. Every single time she stepped through that curtain and went out into an arena full of paying customers, the same thought was running through Alicia‘s head. Was she still good enough? Was she still at that point where people wanted to see her? Where people would pay to see her? Or was it going to be a situation where they would look at Alicia, see what she used to be, and become disappointed? That is what was running through her head. That is the kind of nerves and pressure that she was dealing with. And that was in her professional life.

But what about her personal life?

Well, that also had its moments. Especially today. Alicia took in a deep breath, holding it in her lungs for a moment as her hands sat flat against the bathroom counter in front of her. As she exhaled, she opened her eyes, staring into the mirror with a small shake in her breath. In the mirror she studied everything—her makeup, her hair, her jewelry, her dress. She swallowed hard and pushed off the bathroom counter. ”It’s ok. I can do this.” she muttered to herself under her breath. She looked over at the door, stepping forward, grabbing the handle, and pulling it open.

As she stepped into the next room, her sister Zoey stood with her arms folded, also wearing makeup with her hair done in a long flowing dress. ”You ready?…”

”Yeah…”

She wasn’t. Her mind started flashing back to when she married Michael. Hell, she thought it was going to be a fairytale and he was going to be perfect. She thought about how it ended, she thought about her previous relationships. All the men who had let her down in her life after she thought they were going to be perfect for her. Her heart started beating harder and harder in her chest as they moved from the small room out into the hallway. Zoey led Kallie and the other bridesmaids down the aisle in front of Alicia. They went down the aisle and in front of everyone. The familiar tones of Here Comes the Bride played.

Alicia took another deep breath, clutched her bouquet in her hands, and started to walk. Moving down the aisle she could feel everyone’s eyes on her. Her mother and all of her mother’s friends as well as everyone from Wolfslair. She moved down the aisle and felt herself starting to shake. But then her eyes found Austin.

His long hair that had grown back over the last few years was tied in a bun. His beard was trimmed but still long. He smiled when he saw her. His hands clasped together as he looked handsome in his perfectly tailored suit. His groomsmen and best man all matching with color and style as Alicia moved up to face him. Alicia‘s oldest son Ryan was in charge of handing his mother‘s hand to Austin, stepping in for Alicia‘s father, who of course had passed away.

Austin lifted Alicia’s veil and couldn’t hide his happiness. A smile stretched even wider across his face as they turned to the celebrant. Their wedding was not being held in a church, it was not being presided over by any form of religious affiliation. But it was a celebration of their love. A celebration of who they were as people. Austin slowly looked to the side before the celebrant said anything, gave a small nod, and whispered, ”You’re beautiful…”

She blushed and swallowed hard before turning away. The ceremony began. But the nerves were gone. The excitement was still there. The happiness was still there. But Austin had calmed her. Reminded her with one simple look and one simple phrase that she belonged here. And she had finally found her happiness.

Warm up

”Well, here we go. Stage one of my little plan has come to fruition. I told everyone that I was going to go after the championships that I hadn’t won. Rebuild everything from the ground up. And a few weeks ago I was able to accomplish the first part of that.”

Alicia pauses for a moment, a hand sliding into the front pocket of her tight black jeans. A black and red leather jacket sits over a cut-off band shirt by the deathcore band Lorna Shore.

”Winning a number one contenders fatal four-way. And I’m sure some of you are surprised that I even want to go after both of the championships that I haven’t won—the Internet and the Roulette championships. I have been very outspoken in the past about the Roulette and its rules. The fact that it is chaotic and you could find yourself in some kind of barbed wire cage of death match, or alternatively a line dance-off where you need to be the first person to put on a pair of cowboy boots. But the truth is that the chaos is what people find interesting about it. And because it’s something I’ve never done before, because it’s a mountain I’ve never climbed before, I want to do it.”

“But make no mistake, this doesn’t mean that I never want to hold the World Championship again. In fact, it’s the opposite. I of course want to be the SCW World Bombshells Champion again, but I need to take these other goals off first. I need to be able to earn my right to go after that championship again, and until I do, I’m going to be doing everything else I can to accomplish my goals.”

“I don’t care who I have to face. I don’t care who I have to beat. And I don’t care what levels of hell I have to go through if I’m going to earn the right to call myself a champion again.”

“This company has gone through many transitions, and I’ve gone through many transitions as a person. I’ve watched as my career has crumbled and fallen. I’ve watched as people have completely written me off as a threat despite the fact that I always put up a fight. The women in this company who have been able to beat me earned it. And it’s only been the best of the best that this company has to offer that have been able to say that they were better than me. Women like Amber Ryan, women like Roxi Johnson. Legends of this business who earned their place. They are the ones who have been able to beat me and leave me in the dust.”

Alicia chuckles to herself and paces back and forth a little.

”But getting to this point wasn’t easy. I had to beat three women to get this opportunity. Admittedly, Bea Barnhart and Seleana Zdunich aren’t exactly what I would consider to be challenges to me one on one, but in a triple threat match or fatal four-way anything can happen. But my opponent this week is someone who I beat in that four-way—Cassie Wolfe.”

She chuckles and stops pacing, staring directly ahead as she continues addressing her opponent.

”And of course there’s another connection here. I’m not blind as to why I’m facing you in a match, Cassie. Your relationship with Harper is definitely going to make it more interesting. But I have to ask you an honest question. How does it feel being used? How does it feel knowing that you are a tool? Because that’s what’s going on here. You are being used as a tool to elicit some more interest in the match that is not even going to have you in it. I’m going to be facing Harper Mason for the Roulette Championship and you probably won’t even be at Violent Conduct. And if you are, it will be in a throwaway match that no one cares about.”

“So right now, this is the most important you are going to be. You are a puzzle piece in a story that you are not the hero of. They are using you to give Harper a reason to dislike me even more than she already does. I’m coming for Harper‘s championship and she’s already going to want to keep it, but now she’s going to have a reason to want to hurt me. Because I’m going to hurt you. And I’m going to do it as a point of principle.”

“Not to be a bitch, but you deserve it.”

“You and women like you are a stain on wrestling. You see, professional wrestling is about evolving and getting better. It’s about making sure that you conquer as many mountains as you can. But you and Harper don’t evolve. You are mediocre. You stay in the same little bubble where everything is familiar and safe. You don’t go outside your comfort zone. So I’m going to do you a favour, Cassie. I’m going to drag you out of your comfort zone and I’m going to force you to evolve. Because either you are going to get better and you are going to beat me, or you are going to drown. And you’re going to realise that your ceiling in this company has been reached and you can’t break through it.”

Flowers and dresses and bridesmaids oh my!

Bridal boutiques are weird.

Pink light blue and white coloured walls with flowers all around as well as books with pictures of other people‘s weddings. A place where you can choose what you want for your wedding while being bombarded by ideas from other people. Originality is truly dead. And this is where Alicia Lukas finds herself. A place where she has been many times before in her life. Not only for herself but also for friends and family.

Twice before Alicia has been married, twice before she’s had to go through the planning. She understands what she is looking for and what she wants but at the same time, she’s over it. Sick and tired of all of the pageantry, sick and tired of having to pick out everything from colors to a theme, bridesmaids' dresses, wedding dresses, and flowers. All of it felt like a colossal waste of time. She knew she wanted to marry Austin, she loved him, she had been through this whole thing with weddings before so why did she want to go through it again when all she wanted to do was live a life with the man she loved?

Family, family, and friends. They wanted to celebrate their love and Austin seemed to be all for it. So Alicia was not going to rob him of that. She was going to Smile and do everything she could to make it a wedding that they would both remember.

So here she was, sitting in a bridal boutique in New York City. Accompanied by her sister and maid of honor Zoey as well as her bridesmaids Kallie Reznik and her childhood friend Bianca. The four women laughed as they flicked through books while trying to find ideas. ”Look at this one. It looks like a fucking cupcake threw up on it.”

”Oh that's pretty!” Zoey shot Kallie a horrified look, her long blonde hair was tied back as she wore a black leather biker jacket, and tight black jeans with a chain that goes from a belt loop at the front to the back. Alicia is dressed similarly to her sister as Kallie and Bianca are both dressed in regular jeans and t-shirts.

Alicia shakes her head and grabs hold of the book before turning it toward the girls with a smile ”These are the dresses that I want to get. And don’t worry Kallie…. I’m going to get you a dress that gives you a little extra space around the midsection.”

Kallie smiles and nods, before she can say anything though Zoey pops up. ”The Australian got you pregnant again? Already? Tell him to get a fucking hobby.”

Alicia couldn’t help but laugh, Kallie narrowed her eyes. ”Alicia, did you get her address? That is a little wider around the shoulders to accommodate her?”

Zoey raised her eyebrows and stepped forward, folding her arms over her chest before letting out a laugh and padding Kallie on the shoulder. ”Damn you got snarky….”

Kallie smiled and gave a small shrug as Zoey backed away. Alicia let out a deep breath and made a few notes in the notebook that was sitting next to her about the flowers and the dresses. ”You’d think after I’ve already done this twice that I’d be better at it. But the truth is I have no idea what I want to do.”

”But weddings are so fun and magical and beautiful and it’s a celebration of your love with Austin.”

”You could always just have your wedding on one of the shows. Then it would dissolve into a bunch of brawls and chair throwing. You should do that, that sounds amazing.”

Alicia shook her head and smiled ”I already joked with Austin about that. It’s why we’re not going to have Alex and Finn anywhere near each other…. or Aaron and Kayla”

Zoey rolls her eyes ”Aaron and Kayla fighting in high heels? Shit that would be entertaining not to mention the fact that Kallie would be freaking out.” Zoey points at Kallie who frowns and pouts.

”I don’t want there to be a murder at my wedding Zoey….”

”It wouldn’t be that bad…”

”No…it would be…Kayla told me she’d throw Aaron off a bridge….”

Alicia shakes her head again as Zoey smiles. Meanwhile, Bianca who had been quiet this entire time looks horrified at the other three.

”What is wrong with you people?”

Alicia sighs heavily and sits back. Bianca wasn’t used to this. She wasn’t used to the world that these three came from. Alicia realized that it was going to be a big job having to cross her lives together. People from outside the wrestling business as well as everyone inside. She took a deep breath and grabbed her notepad standing up and folding her arms over her chest.

”It’s okay, I’ll figure it out. But this day has to be good. I owe it to Austin.”

A bad Martial Arts film.

”No, I’m not happy with how my Blast from the past campaign ended…”

Alicia closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Her teeth grind together as she looks away from the camera. Almost as if she would be struggling to make eye contact with any of us while watching the promo from the comfort of our own homes.

”I lost. Not only did I lose a loss to one person in this company that I despise. I despise her attitude and I despise who she is. I went against her and I failed. And I have no one to blame myself. You know, I’ve always made a big deal about how people handle losses in this company. So many of you will lose a big match and then pop up the next time we see you like nothing is wrong. Like it’s just another day at the office. But I need to practice what I preach and I’m gonna be completely honest with every single one of you right now. I’m angry at myself for losing that match.”

“I’m angry at myself for throwing away a perfect opportunity. And losing to that woman, failing to beat her, and getting eliminated by Micah makes me sick. Because I should’ve beaten her. I should have been able to put that bitch in the ground where she belongs and I should have been able to go on to the final of the blast from the past and walk away the winner. Instead, I let it all slip through my fingers and I ended up failing. And for someone like me failure is Like dying inside. Failure is something that I’m not used to. For years I was looked at as the gold standard in women’s professional wrestling but in the last few years at least I have become a joke.”

“The punchline….”

“Much like Micah. But the difference between myself and that arrogant bitch is that when I failed I picked myself up and came right back to work. Now that tournament is over I’m still here and I’m still ready to go. Meanwhile, she’s packed up and gone back to Hawaii. Just like we all said she would. And that’s what you get when you let someone like her come back into the company. She uses the blast from the past as an opportunity to try and jump the line and then instead of earning her position in the company she just leaves. That hasn’t happened with me. And if I had got to that final I damn sure wouldn’t have done what she didn’t threw it all away.”

Alicia starts to get angry, you can see it in her eyes and her body language. You can see it in the way she carries herself herself.

”If I got through to that final I would’ve faced Frankie Holiday and Laura Phoenix. I would’ve solved the riddle of Frankie holiday and I would’ve bitch slapped Laura Phoenix back into her retirement. But I didn’t get that chance because instead my spot was taken up by a woman who couldn’t even be bothered to stick around and be a part of the company that gave her the life that she has now. She has no pride, she has no heart, and I’m still here. I’m still here ready to be the best and to show the world that I’m still relevant. If Mercedes Vargas can do that and beat Bella to become the Internet champion I sure can do something similar…”

“But, to prove that I have to go up against a woman that I haven’t really seen or heard from in years. Song. And this won’t be the first time she and I have faced and it won’t be the last I’m sure, it just happens to be the first time with faced in this company. Song and I have known each other for years but it’s been a very long time since we’ve stepped foot in a ring against each other or even in the same company. She came back and I was injured. Now here I am and I’m ready to get back to work and she is who SCW management has decided I’m going to be facing.”

“And I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, everyone knows who song is. She has been a part of SCW for years and was a major part of honor wrestling.”

“But now, song and I are going to go one on one and try and get that forward momentum moving. The last time we saw a song she was able to pick up a win in a tag team match. But, as far as real momentum goes that isn’t going to help her. Real momentum is facing people weak and weak out at being in the fires of battle. Real momentum is facing the best of the best one on one and overcoming them. Something that Song hasn’t been able to do. Something that she’s not going to be able to do when she faces me.”

Alicia can’t help but laugh to herself and shake her head.

”See, I have certain goals that I want to accomplish. I want to win the bombshell championship won last time, I want to win the Internet championship and the roulette championship since I’ve never held them. I want to be able to recite my career and finish on my own terms instead of going out with a whimper like some of the women in this company. I want to be able to hold my head high and be one of the greatest bombshells this company has ever known. Which, I already am but I want to remind people of it. I don’t want to go out with a whimper. I want to go out with a bang”

“And to accomplish all of this I need to keep winning. I need to beat everyone that this company puts in front of me and that includes you song. I don’t have anything against you personally but right now you are in my way. You are in the way of everything that I want to accomplish and to get to where I need to be. I need to move you out of my way. And I have to do it the best way that I know how. By marching down to that ring and stomping your head into the mat until I leave it as a stain.”

“And if I lose to you, if I lose to you after everything that you’ve done and failed to do since you returned then I have no business being in a SCW ring.”

“So you better get ready. You better bring everything that you have because that’s what I plan to do. I’m gonna do everything I can to get you out of my way and I will do everything in my power to make sure that when that bell rings, you are the one who is lying on your back staring at the lights and I have my handheld high. Every single win is a step closer to what I want to achieve. And Mercedes Vargas better be ready because you song are the first stepping stone toward my first goal. The Internet championship. This is the resurgence of Alicia Lukas. This is my resurrection and my redemption….”

Best Laid Plans

It was finally time. It was time to tell the one person about her engagement that she was dreading. Everyone else in her life she wanted to tell, but she also wanted to do it in her own way. But this person was the one person that she knew was going to be a challenge. Her mother. A woman who did love all of her children but whose particular brand of love was always filled with a certain amount of judgement and domineering.

A woman who had an ego problem, the main problem being that her ego was the one that mattered most

It didn’t matter how her children felt, didn’t matter how anyone else in her life felt. Barbara was going to do what she wanted and when she wanted. She was going to say what she wanted when she wanted, she didn’t care about your feelings. It was a trait that her daughter had also inherited. In fact, it was a trait that both of her daughters had inherited. But Zoey and Alicia had learned tact, their mother hadn’t.

Alicia took a deep breath walking toward the large stately manner that her mother called home. It was on an old plantation on the outskirts of Atlanta Georgia. Just outside the suburbs but still close enough to the city that they can drive in whenever needed. Alicia flew in, Strategically bringing her sons. As the door opened, the boys ran to go find their grandmother. They loved her, and she doted on them, she was an excellent grandparent and had been a good mother but there was always an air of contention hanging over Alicia’s head whenever she talked to her mother.

Her mother wanted what was best for her.

She knew that, she accepted that. The only problem was that the way her mother went about things always rubbed Alicia the wrong way. And deep down she never forgave her for being the catalyst of her first relationship. And while that relationship had given Alicia two beautiful sons that she loved it had also come close to completely ruining her life, destroying her self-worth, making her feel like she was an object through abuse. Her mother had her hand in that making the match to begin with. And even though her mother could not have known the monster that her daughter had been betrayed to it was still something that Alicia kept deep inside as a small amount of anger and frustration.

The boys ran off to go and play in the large backyard leaving Alicia standing with her mother. Her mother smiling and moved her hand toward a small table with a chair on either side and some tea sitting in the middle. Alicia took a deep breath and sat down knowing that it was only a matter of time before she would have to tell her mother the good news. ”I do love seeing them so happy”

Alicia can’t help but smile, her mother was right. Seeing the boys happy definitely warmed both of their hearts. Alicia grabbed her tea up taking a small seat before putting it down instantly drawing the attention of her mother. Normally when she would take a sip of tea she would make her face, only drinking it to make her mother happy. But this time she was so deep in thought about what she was about to do that there was no movement, no subtle twitch, no hatred of the liquid that she was drinking.

”Alright… Spill it, you clearly have something on your mind”

Alicia cleared her throat and sat back, she knew that look on her mother‘s face and there was no point in trying to hide it. She swallowed hard and reached into her pocket before sliding her engagement ring on her finger and then placing her hand on the glass table. ”I..I’m getting married..”

”Again?” Her heart sank. Unsure of what to say next as her mother raised an eyebrow. Alicia froze her hands sitting there as her mother then shook her head and chuckled under her breath. ”Relax….I knew about it and I’m just teasing..”

Alicia setback her shoulders dropped as she felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders but then a question rattled around her brain. She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. ” Who told you?”

”Your sister.”

”Of course” Alicia muttered under her breath. While she was relieved that her mother knew and seemed to be taking it so well she was also disappointed that she wasn’t the one to tell her.

Her mother raised an eyebrow studying Alicia‘s body language before setting down her tea cup and turning towards her daughter. ”She seemed to believe that you were worried about telling me. Why? I’m happy for you. Despite my reservations about Austin he seems to be a positive influence on not just you but also the boys.”

”I just thought that you might be a little disappointed that I was choosing to get married again. After what happened with my previous relationships and marriages.” Her voice trailed off as she stared down at the glass table.

Her mother took a deep breath pushing it out before leaning forward and reaching across the table, grabbing Alicia‘s hand and giving it a squeeze ”The first one was my fault. Neither of us knew what kind of family that was. And Michael? He died, are you meant to stay single the rest of your life? And as for the one in the middle? Well, we all make mistakes dear” Barbara chuckled and looked over at the boys who were still playing. Alicia just slowly gave a nod to her mother and sat back. She wasn’t going to press the issue. She was happy, her mother seemed very accepting of it and now she wondered why she didn’t just trust her mother.

Now the real work would begin. The planning of the wedding, what kind of wedding would it be? And where would it be? Now it will become real. Now she was able to smile and enjoy it.

It’s been a while

”One thing I really love about this business, that I’ve always loved about this business, is that it’s unpredictable. Things don’t always go to plan.”

Alicia lets out of deep sigh and folds her arms over her chest.

”You can have a clear version of where you want to go and what you want to do. You can do everything you can to reach that point and in the end, something unexpected can happen to throw a wrench in the plan. The triple threat match that I was last in, Harper Mason was the one who walked out with the wind. And the thing is I can’t complain about it. She earned that win. Harper earned everything that she was able to get and she went on to blaze of glory and was able to compete for the Sin City wrestling internet championship…”

“She didn’t win. But she tried.”

“And that’s what’s important I guess. You can’t take that win away from her though. Beating myself and Crystal. That’s the risk you run by getting into these multi-person matches. You can lose without actually losing. You can get beaten without actually getting beaten. But at the end of that match, I was the one who didn’t get to go to blaze of glory. So I went home. I relaxed and watched the show. I watched everyone else beat the hell out of each other and I saw a new champion's crowned and legacies get  solidified.”

“But, coming out of blaze of glory. It’s blast from the past season. And this year gets to be a little bit different. This year I don’t have to rely on a tag team partner who may or may not turn up to fight. This year it’s just on Me. A one on one elimination tournament. and my first opponent in the first round is someone I know very well.”

Alicia slightly smiles and reaches over grabbing a Snickers bar and popping it open. She starts to eat it before tilting her head and taking a deep breath.

”Candy, a former SCW roulette champion. A woman who has challenged for the top championship in this company a few times. And failed. Candy is the answer to a question that nobody asked. And while everyone else seems to be rolling out the welcome mat and is happy that she’s returned and decided to be a part of the blast from the past tournament. I find myself wondering why. Why are you here candy? Why are you back? Is it just to make up the dollars in this tournament? Because you look at what you’ve done since you’ve come back and that’s the impression I’m getting.”

“You are just going through the motions. The same old candy, the same old attitude. You turn up you flash your smile at the camera you trot out your silly little fluff ball of a dog, you throw your glitter, and expect everyone to cheer and clap for you like trying to seals. Do you care that you’re at a tournament where you could potentially realize a dream that you have had for years and never been good enough to accomplish? Whenever you open your mouth we never get an insight into who you are or the passion that you have for this business. All we get is bubblegum dreams and unicorn farts.”

“Rainbow bullshit spewing from your mouth”

“You and I have done this song and dance before. You told me how you wanna beat me and you’ve told me how good you can be and how I’ve underestimated you but the truth is every single time we’ve got into that ring. I have our class. You would show the world that I am simply better. And the fact that you’re still using that stupid glitter? The fact that you’re still blatantly cheating in front of the world and getting away with it? It makes me sick. So I thought you would’ve learned by now that it is not acceptable to do things like that. But you have. Because as I said, you are the same old candy. The same attitude same outlook on life the same tired nostalgia act full of bullshit.”

Alicia throws her arms in the air, clearly annoyed at this entire situation as she stomped back and forth before rubbing the back of her neck and refocusing forward taking a deep breath.

”And that’s all you are. A nostalgia act. You’ve walked back into the company and you’re doing the exact same thing expecting the exact same reaction. But you are taking up a spot in a tournament that could’ve gone to someone else who might want to become the champion. You might actually have the same passion that the rest of us have for this business. And that is the difference between you and Me. You are here to make up the numbers and a smile and relive your glory days back when you held one championship in this company in a fluke. To rely on nostalgia and be little Miss Perfect for the crowd.”

“I’m here to win. I’m here to get back to where I deserve to be. I’m not saying that I’m going to win this tournament and go straight for the Bombshells championship. Cause the truth is, I told everyone I wanted to work my way up from the bottom. The blast from the past is something that I have never won that I want to. If I win I might go for the Internet championship, I might try and snatch that out of Bella‘s hands. I might go for the roulette championship, or I might go right after Kayla Richards and that bombshell championship to get to the top of the mountain again.”

“But, at least I have a plan. I have desires and passion for this business. I’m here to win and I’m here to be the best that I can be. What about you candy? Why are you here? Are you here just to do as I said and walk out of some kind of tired nostalgia acts to wave and throw your glitter? Are you here to get a few cheap pops from the crowd so you can feel good about yourself? Or are you here to try and win? Are you here to prove everyone wrong? The years that’s all we’ve said about you. That you’re a nobody. That if we took away all of the glitter and candy that you would be nothing. And you have done absolutely nothing to prove us wrong.”

“This is your chance. This is your chance to prove all of us wrong and to stand up and get your chance at becoming a legend. Some people would say you’re a legend now that those people are idiots. You had one championship rain with the roulette title back in 2020. You haven’t had any big wins against the best of the best in this company and you haven’t had any moments with people sitting back wide-eyed and impressed. You are a one-hit wonder. And now? Now you have to prove that you are here for the right reasons. Because I don’t think you are. So I’m going to do what should have been done a long time ago and I’m going to put you out of your misery. and I’m going to go on to win this tournament and reclaim my glory, reclaim my passion, and reclaim my championship.”

Publicity

It was beautiful. The engagement ring that Austin had bought for her. Alicia smiled, tilting her head as she took in every detail of it. She had always disliked gold, the engagement ring that her first husband had given her. The abusive arsehole that had given her two beautiful young sons, but had also robbed her of her innocence. The one he got her was gold. Even though she had told him how much she despised it.

The one that Austin had got her was silver, a simple band that wrapped around with a few smaller diamonds that framed a larger one in a beautiful Gothic style setting the rapids way around the precious jewel and across the top.

The light from above caught it at just the right angle which made rainbows of light dance across the walls depending on what angle the light was shining onto it. She took a deep breath feeling her heart race as she continued staring at it. Everything that Alicia had gone through was a reminder of the pain that you can endure if you have the drive to succeed. She had succeeded in life despite everything that she had been through and all the setbacks she had faced.

From her beginnings as a young girl whose father had left at a young age and being raised by a struggling mother who eventually married for money not love, to being in an arranged marriage with a man who looked at Alicia as a possession, to being a teenage mother who had to run and get away for fear of her life. She had gone through all of that before the age of 20.

And through it all, she had forged a career that was in some ways legendary. A multi-time world champion and a woman who is now able to give her sons and Austin‘s children everything they could ever want.

And through three failed marriages and the public scrutiny that came with it, she had become a stronger person. But even with that strength, it was hard for her to show the world that she and Austin were now engaged. Fear of that public scrutiny based on her previous relationships had caused her to pull all of her happiness inward and not share it with the world. A tremendous amount of guilt washed over her as she knew that she was stopping Austin from being able to verbally tell the world how he felt about her.

”It would be even more beautiful if you wore it all the time” Austin‘s booming voice broker concentration. She shook her head looking over at him. She had been sitting in front of her vanity mirror brushing her hair before she had been distracted by the ring. She didn’t even know how long she had been sitting there staring at it. But long enough for Austin to notice

She’s small as she looked at him, his hair which she had shaved off in a moment of defiance to try and change everything about himself had now grown back. Still not all the way down his back like it had been at one point it was now shoulder length. He leaned back against the headboard he’s ripping muscles and tattoos catching Alicia‘s eye. Even now when he looked at her and she could see him in this way she still felt like a lust-filled teenager letting her hormones run while. ”I know. And I will. It’s just hard when I don’t know how people are going to react.”

”Who cares?” Austin scoffed and moved to the edge of the bed before getting to his feet and moving over standing behind Alicia and looking at them both in the mirror as he kissed her cheek and then down her neck causing Alicia to tilt her head. ”Besides, I know that Alex found out. He let the cat out of the bag when I saw him staring at me and I pressed him as to why.”

Alicia‘s breath hitched in her throat as she felt often move closer to her. She took a deep breath and tried to regain her composure before raising an eyebrow and tilting her head a little further to the side. ”Mmm ok, I get what you mean. It’s not going to stay a secret for much longer with Alex knowing. He will let it slip eventually to Sonja and she will tell everyone.”

Austin couldn’t help but smile and laugh as he moved around to Alicia‘s front and dropped to one knee grabbing her hand ”Ahh yes. The three ways of wrestler, communication. Telephone, telegram, and tell-a-Sonja.”

Alicia can’t help but laugh. She shakes her head and takes a deep breath. ”Yeah, I guess it’s time that we tell everyone. I’d rather that it came from us that they heard about it from someone else and then had to pretend that they didn’t know when we told them.”

Austin nodded slowly and stood up holding out his hand to pull Alicia to her feet. He held her close, his hand reaching out as his thumb lightly brushed her cheek. ”I just want to be able to do fun things like start to plan the wedding and get invitation sorted out so we know who isn’t coming and who is”

Alicia clears her throat, trying to hold back her excitement ”You want to wedding plan? You’re excited to do it?”

Austin smiled kissing her on the forehead before laughing ”No, I’m just going to let you pick what you want and smile and nod”

Alicia winked ”Good boy…”

Starting from the bottom and now we’re here

Alicia sits back with a grin on her lips. Rolling a small white ball in between her thumb and forefinger as she reaches out and grabs the centre of a roulette wheel spinning it sheet then rolls the ball sideways letting it go around before hearing that familiar sound of the ball clicking into one of the mini paddles. The ball has landed. Double zero. She can’t help but chuckle before sitting back and looking forward.

”Well, it did not take very long did it? When I first came back to this company, I told everyone who is watching Me right now as well as everyone who is in the arena and anyone within earshot including the guys running this company that I wanted to start from the bottom and work my way up.”

“I even gave you all a perfectly valid reason why”

“But, since some of you might have forgotten, let me rewind and tell you why. When I first signed with this company I was shot straight straight to the main event of the bombshells division. Due to Me being the final-ever honor wrestling women’s champion, I lined up a shot at the SCW Bombshells championship. So I’ve never really had a chance to work my way up through this company, like so many others have.”

“And I wanted that chance.”

“Now, I don’t want you all to get this twisted. This is not some way for me to wiggle my way into people’s good graces or make you all think that I have left my ego at the door. Far from it. I know I’m still better than most of the women in this company. But I wanted to see how long it took me to walk back in here and then work my way up. Now, I am under no illusions here that my name and reputation weren’t going to help boost me forward but the fact that I returned and I’m already in a championship match should tell you all how good I still am”

Alicia couldn’t help but chuckle. Spinning the roulette wheel again and letting the ball rip before it dropped straight back into double zero again. Alicia raised her eyebrows the statistical improbability of this being astronomical as she continued her promotional material.

”And what a way to return to championship glory than to go after a championship I’ve never held. The roulette championship. The championship is synonymous with the most random chaos you’ll ever see. When you go into a roulette division match, you don’t know if you are going to be dropped headfirst into a Texas death match, or a Pittsburgh pillow fight. The possibilities are endless and it’s that kind of chaos that many people in this company simply cannot wrap their heads around. It takes many of us out of our comfort zones. And that is a reason why I wanted to go after this championship. Because it takes me out of my comfort zone. And at this stage of my career, there isn’t much that can take me out of my comfort zone.”

“I’ve basically seen and done it all”

“So now, I get to step in the ring with the current Roulette Champion Victoria Lyons and a woman that I know quite well in Bobbie Dahl….”

She pauses for a moment looking down at the rule at Me before looking back up. Holding the ball in her thumb and forefinger again, she doesn’t tempt fate just yet instead staring ahead and continuing.

”Now, Bobbie, it’s been a long time hasn’t it? You know, I’d hate to say this but you really are a disappointment. Not because of any other reason than I know what you could have become and what you are. See, many people might forget this but there was a time when I needed to take an extended break from this company because you took me out. You destroyed me. My shoulder which was hanging on by a thread was completely ripped out and annihilated by you. Do you remember that Bobbie? Because I do.”

“And I’m going to be completely real here. I’m not disappointed because you destroyed my shoulder, I’m not disappointed that you took months away from my career. I’m not even disappointed that when I came back to face you, I beat the brakes off you and walked out with my hand held high. No, Bobbie, I’m disappointed because there was a brief shining moment where you could have been a dominant force in this business. I’m disappointed because I honestly thought that you were going to explode and become this bad bitch that everyone thought you were going to be that you were going to live up to all of that promise that you had and all of that potential.”

“I thought that maybe, just maybe you were going to pose a challenge to most people here and you were going to become a world champion.”

“But, that isn’t what happened. Instead of going on to become a dominant force that would wreck most of the division and show everyone that you had what it took to become a world champion, you reverse it back to this unfunny clown. And yes, you are a clown. Not the type of clown that kids sit there and laugh at the type of sad clown that people throw a couple of spare dollar bills toward because you clearly need to buy your alcohol and get drunk. You run around here with Artie looking like a complete buffoon and when you get opportunities like this, when you pick up the ball and look like you have a clear shot at scoring a touchdown, you fumble. You fumble and your career falls in the toilet again. You are a fucking disappointment. And I’m done dealing with someone like you. I’m going to bring your entire circus down around you Bobbie.”

“And show why a clown should never be around a championship”

Alicia down holding the roulette ball in her hand before spinning the wheel and letting it go. We hear the familiar clicks but instead of Alicia looking down at where the ball landed she simply continues.

”One person who isn’t a clown, who should be around a championship is our current roulette champion, Victoria Lyons. And what a run you’ve had. You’ve brought the roulette championship up to prominence. A championship that was once looked at as a sideshow and a joke has become a real prize. And you did that Victoria. You did that by making sure that you held yourself to a high regard as a champion and beat everyone that they put in front of you. All while trying to advance your career further by taking on world champions and even winning the mixed tag team titles for a time.”

“Impressive. Very impressive. Being a double champion is no easy feat and I believe that so many in this company don’t give you the due that you are owed. They simply don’t appreciate you for the champion that you are. And this might seem like I’m giving you a little pat on the back but the truth is that you are worthy of respect because of how you have carried yourself. Even if we look past all the arrogance we can see that you are a champion.”

“And trust me on this if there’s anyone who knows about having a large ego and arrogance it’s me.”

“With that being said I feel like you are owed the respect of Me telling you exactly what’s going to happen. You see Victoria, while you are trying to force your own legacy and get away from your family name while also trying to embrace it, I have been in your shoes before. But unlike you when I was given the chance to go out on my own, I took that opportunity with both hands and made sure I didn’t post on my father‘s last name. Instead choosing a name that no one knew so I could forge my own legacy.”

“And be my own woman. And that’s what I’m continuing to do now. So I’m going to get in the ring and do everything that I possibly can to beat you and to beat Bobbie and take that roulette championship. After being a three-time world bombshells champion the roulette title is something that I’ve never held and it’s something I’ve never experienced. It’s not in Me to simply roll over and be happy to have the opportunity, I’m always the type of person who puts everything on the line every single time every single night. And I accomplish the impossible. And this is far from impossible so imagine what I can do. Imagine the mathematical improbabilities that I can accomplish.”

Alicia can’t help but laugh as she steps back from the Roulette well, revealing that a third role of the ball has landed on the green double zero. She chuckles to herself as she walks away ending on the improbable and almost impossible role of the ball.

One step

It had been a rough week.

Being on the comeback trail after being out of the ring and out of the business for so long was never going to be a walk in the park. The problem with taking time away from something as intense as professional wrestling is that when you get back into it you need to work your way into it. The problem is that you can’t. If you have made a name for yourself in the professional wrestling business then you are going to come back and instantly have the spotlight thrust up upon you. Everyone is always going to expect you to still be the same person you were before you left. To be at that same level, and the level that Alicia Lukas was at was suffocating.

Everyone who looked at her in the gym had seen her weekend and week out for the last few years. She had gone in the ring with them, given them her knowledge and her strength. But, that was in a private setting. Sitting with friends and fans and sitting with family was different and quieter. When the spotlight is on you and you are in the ring, you are exposed. Exposed to everything. Your failures and your shortcomings are laid out for everyone to see and for everyone to judge.

That reality will always breed pressure. And pressure isn’t always a negative thing. Some pressure can push down on you and break you, destroy everything you are and everything you possibly could be. Pressure can be suffocating, it can suck all the air out of your lungs and make it hard for you to breathe. But there are some people who push back against that pressure. Who can break through and show that they are more than what the world believes them to be and what the world will allow them to be. The ability to break through pressure is one that separates true champions from the pretenders.

And Alicia had always been a true champion.

Despite the fact her return hadn’t gone as she had planned. Despite the fact that she had been stuck in the middle of the division instead of raising back up to the place that she believed she should be, she was still doing everything in her power to make not only herself but those around her better. She still turned up to the gym every day, but she still helped those around her and trained as hard as she could. She did everything in her power to live up to the name of reputation that she had forged through her years of hard work, perseverance, and championship glory.

As 2024 started to draw to a close Alicia knew she had a few appearances to make, working hard to make sure that she was going to end the year off better than the year had begun. She arrived home, got out of her car, and stretched as she looked over at her home. Smiling as she knew that her family was inside. Her sons Rory and Ryan, and her partner, her boyfriend, Austin James Mercer, and his son, Marcus, and daughter Amelia.

She walked up the concrete path toward the front door reaching out and opening it. She stepped inside and looked around, while the lights in the lounge room were on, the hallway to the kitchen was dark and only lit by a few candles that had been placed on the ground leading toward the kitchen. Alicia raised an eyebrow moving down the hallway and into the kitchen where she found the dining room table had been set. A beautiful red tablecloth has been laid out with a few white plates and silverware. And sitting on one side of the table was Austin.

”Aus….whats all this?”[

Austin did little to answer the question instead offering a small shrug. His shoulder-length brown hair, the hair that he had previously cut short that had grown out once again was now tied back in a tight bun. His beard was trimmed and immaculately kept. He wore a button-up white shirt and black pants as he kept the sleeves rolled up. ”I can’t just do something nice?” he smiled at her, Austin wasn’t the type to smile very much. Even before everything that had happened when he lost his wife Lisa. Austin was never one to show his emotions outwardly. He was a mystery to most people. Except those who knew him.

And Alicia was someone who definitely knew him. She knew that behind the steel gaze that he offered the world, behind the mask of indifference that he wore when dealing with most people there was a deep reservoir of feeling. All of the human emotions that we all feel. Anger, frustration, hatred, happiness, and love. All of these things Austin not only felt but felt deeply. ”I’m not going to say I don’t appreciate it, but is there an occasion for it? Something special I’ve forgotten?”

Austin shook his head serving up a perfectly cooked medium-rare steak and grilled and butter asparagus. A protein-rich meal with vitamins. One of Alicia‘s favorites. Something that she would often eat but would have to cook for herself. And she hated cooking. Austin poured her some wine before sitting back down and offering up a casual smile. ”Ali, we’ve known each other a long time. When I first met you, I admired you. I admired how much you love this business, I admired the way that you never let your family get to you. Like Me, you had a parent who is in the business business. We both had names that we had to live up to, but while I kept my last name you were able to forge your own life, you didn’t coast on your father‘s reputation or his name, you did it all yourself.” Austin paused, swallowing hard and sitting back before continuing. ”You and I were destined to be ships passing each other in the night. As much as I loved Lisa, and still in many ways, do love Lisa, she isn’t what I would’ve considered to be my soulmate. She gave me two wonderful children and some of the best years of my life. but I.”

Austin pauses again. This time he seemed to struggle with what he was going to say. He closed his eyes as he tried to find the words. Alicia, threw a shaky breath leaned forward. Her fingertips slightly danced across the back of his hand. Austin, as if on instinct turned his hand sideways, allowing Alicia’s fingers to slide into his palm and squeeze his hand. A reassuring gesture. She wanted to hear what he had to say. As Austin opened his eyes, Alicia gave him a small smile and a nod coaxing it out of him.

Austin smiled and continued ”I love you. I’ve always loved you. But while I was with Lisa and you were with Michael, I never allowed myself to feel it. And even when they both passed and you and I became closer, I thought it was going to disrespect both of their memories. As much as I blame Michael for everything that happened, I still wasn’t sure that it was respectful for you and me to be in a relationship. And I thought I did, but in the end, I couldn’t. And I don’t want to lie to myself anymore, Alicia.”

She smiled, her heart racing and beating in her chest. ”I love you to…”

The two looked at each other. Both of them smiling. Austin stood up still holding Alicia‘s hand. He moved around the table. His muscular frame towered over her as he leaned in and gently kissed her. Being as gentle and tender as anyone could ever be. Austin very slowly dropped to one knee as Alicia‘s eyes opened. Her heart skipped a beat and her breath hitched in her throat. She wanted to ask him what he was doing but all she could manage was a trembling lip. Austin had her hand in his. He smiled and grabbed a small black velvet ring box from his pocket.  ”Ali, will you m-“

”Yes….”

She didn’t wait for him to get the entire question out. Blurting out her answer. Austin smiled sliding the ring on her finger before standing up. Alicia wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself up and wrapping her legs around his waist. After their warm embrace and passionate kiss Austin Laughed and looked down ”Your food is getting cold” Alicia loaded herself down laughing as she put her forehead on Austin‘s chest. The two getting ready to go about their night. Preparing themselves to eat and then tell the rest of the world what was going to happen between them.

Lost

”There are always bumps in the road. Always obstacles that you have to overcome and face. No matter where you are in your life. No matter what you do in life. There are always things that get placed in front of you trying to stop you from achieving your goals”

Alicia slowly emerges. Wearing a black leather jacket over a black band shirt. The logo of the hard rock band Ghost is clearly visible. On the lower part of her body, she wears a pair of tight black jeans with the knee holes torn. And black combat boots over the top. Her long blonde hair is tied back in an interesting fashion. The top is tied back and braided like a cat o'nine tails. The bottom half kept down and flowing down her back and shoulders. Underneath her right eye, a black stripe of wall paint and her ruby red lips shine in contrast to the darkness around her eyes.

”This business is as fast-moving and unforgiving as the rest of the entertainment industry. And make no mistake that’s exactly what we are. Entertainment. Admittedly what we share is a lot closer and more akin to what the ancient Romans used to enjoy the Colosseum than what we now see on the silver screen that gets all sorts of awards from academies and critics. But the fact remains that we are entertainment. And as such we fall into the same traps. Everyone is always looking for the new shiny person who is going to come up and replace the old ones. The new name that is going to become a champion and be pushed forward as the face of the company.”

“Meanwhile, champions of the past are usually looked at in a certain light. Either they leave, standing on the sidelines making snide comments about the current stars. Acting like they could still come in and dominate if they wanted to all the while never fully committing to coming back. I’m of course talking about people like Amber Ryan and Mikah. Now don’t get me wrong, both of those women are incredible athletes and both of them were the best that this company had to offer. And I’m sure they could come back and give most of the women in this company a run for their money. And in Amber Ryan’s case, she might even go on another reign of terror.”

“But, that is still one category.”

“The former champions, so full of bitterness. So full of anger toward the company and ready to make so many comments about how they could do it better. But never actually coming back to do it and prove it. But what of those that do? What about those women who at one point in time with the greatest company had to offer and have stayed? Samantha Marlowe. Mercedes Vargas. Crystal Zdunixh. These women refuse to leave and instead stay. Much to their detriment. Because they are looked at as failed nostalgia acts. As women who can’t live up to what they used to and are just now walking talking popes. Coasting off of their names of the past like some form of heretical ghosts. Unwilling just to die like their careers.”

Alicia can’t help but laugh to herself. Her whole body tenses. Her mind seems to race as she comes to different realizations. Thinking about her past, her present, her future. Thinking about everything else that has been laid before her and everyone else in the company. Her bright blue eyes snap forward and a small arrogant smile comes across her lips.

”So, which one am I then? Which category does Alicia Lucas fit into? While I was gone from this company I didn’t run my mouth. I might have occasionally called out a member of the roster or two, but I didn’t sit in my Ivory Tower and talk about what was wrong with the company. I didn’t badmouth the current champions, I didn’t try and wiggle my way into the good graces of the people who ran this company. I knew in my heart that Christian and Mark were just a phone call away at any time I wanted to come back all I had to do was pick up that phone. All I had to do was tell them I wanted a new contract. They would welcome Me with open arms.”

“Now, if I didn’t fit into that category, the one with the bitter old farts who didn’t know what her real place was in life. Then I suppose I must fit in the same category as Mercedes Vargus and the others that I mentioned right?”

“I suppose I am simply a woman who is passed her prime. No longer the best that this company has to offer. I’m just a shambling, shunting, struggling corpse. A ghost of what I once was. A great champion, now reduced to someone who is going to lose time and time again as those who are younger than me and better than Me become champions. Is that my future? Is that where I’m going? Has the legacy of the strong style Southern Bell become a joke?”

“Maybe..”

“Or maybe I’m something new. Something different. When you look at my career in my past I have never, ever walked to the same beat of everyone else’s drum. In fact, I’ve always been unique. Somewhat disagree with that, someone might think I’m nothing but arrogant. and there is certainly something to be said for that. I am arrogant, and with my track record in my past why wouldn’t I be? I’ve done things that most women in this business could only dream of. I dominated three companies at once. Who else can say that? I broke records. I won awards and I beat the best that this business had to offer. So, am I arrogant? Am I cocky? You damn right I am.”

The arrogant smirk that had been plastered on Alicia‘s face slowly started to grow. The arrogance grew with her attitude. But the smoker twisted contorted and changed into something more sinister.

”Unlike others I have earned the right to be arrogant. But my arrogance never crosses that line. A line where I can’t see my failures. That is what has always set me apart from others. I look around at all the other names in this company and they still don’t get it. When I was in the middle of my run that made people jealous, I pointed out so many different mistakes that they made and here I am a few years later and I can still see the same mistakes being made by the same people as well as the same mistakes being made by new faces. The more things changed the more they stay the same indeed”

“Alexandra Calaway is definitely someone who makes these mistakes. Last month, the last time you all saw me, I was in a match with Alexandra and Andrea Hernandez. The winner would go on to face Kayla Richards. Now, both Alexandra and I failed. I took the loss hard and went home, and now here I am my first match back and it is still affecting me. I wasn’t good enough that night to win and go onto face Kayla. Andrea Hernandez was and she went on to give a great fight to our champion. I learned from that loss like I always have. You know who didn’t learn a goddamn thing? Alexandra.”

“Forty years old and still unable to come to terms with a loss and learn anything from it. No wonder you have never been able to become The champion that you always thought you should be.”

“You are still fighting to win everything you think you deserve. It’s admirable in a way. You doing everything you can to try and gain that glory. Except the one thing you need to do to get what you want. You can’t bring yourself to really examine your losses, when you win it’s all roses and unicorns and rainbows. But when you lose you make a few Flippin comments shrug it off and move along. You don’t sit there and dissect it. You don’t do an autopsy on your loss you don’t learn a goddamn thing from instead you just keep throwing yourself into brick walls expecting something to change.”

“But nothing changes”

“You still end up at the bottom of the pile staring up at people who are better than you. And while I failed so far in my comeback aside from a few wins that have ultimately been pointless, you look back at my career in this company and I accomplished things. I accomplished things here, I accomplished things in WWH, and I accomplished things in honor wrestling. I was the biggest name on this fucking planet at one point. I was infamous and had bitches and morons from other companies constantly calling me out because they were nothing jealous of the success that I had.”

She chuckles to herself, shaking her head before continuing.

”You on the other hand get made fun of because of your stupidity. The fact that you can never admit when you’re wrong and the fact that everyone else in this company thinks you’re a joke. You’re only claim to fame is being the world champion of a company that shut down. Congratulations. Every single time you’ve tried to climb up that ladder while you’ve been here you’ve been smacked back down to the bottom wrong. And now you have to face me one on one at the final show of the year while I’m in such a bad mood that I’m just about ready to rip your head off. And the crazy part is it’s nothing personal.”

“It’s not even really business. You see if this was something personal between us then I would care. I’d be angry, I’d be stomping my feet and I’d be promising the fans a great show while I tore your arm off and beat you to death with it. But I can’t even do that because I really don’t care about you Alexandra. You mean nothing to me. And I can’t even say it’s business either.”

“Business implies that I would have something to gain. What does me beating you gain? You have something to gain if you beat me. You beat me you’ve just knocked off a three-time bombshell, champion, and a woman who won wrestler of the year woman of the year feud of the year. A woman who dominated WWH a woman who dominated on a wrestling and a woman who is dominated here. You get to tell the world that you were able to beat Alicia Lukas.”

“I beat you and what do I get? I get to say I beat you? Great, so does everyone else in this fucking company”

“No, winning a match against you does nothing for my career. So instead I have to settle for another motivator. And that motivation is simple, I don’t want to lose to you. I don’t want people to look at me and believe that I’m such a failure and that I have fallen so far from what I used to be that I’m going to lose to the likes of you. Someone whose greatest accomplishment is being able to get her succubus hooks into LJ Kasey.”

“And I’ll be dead if that is the vision of Me the people close out 2024 with. So congratulations. You get to have a match with one of the best in this company and a bonafide legend. But it’s not going to help you….”

“Merry Christmas bitch.”

Are we ok?

Alicia had been distant the last couple of weeks. She had not been booked for any matches in SCW since her match against Tempest, in which Austin was forced to be the special guest referee. Losing matches happens, being put in the ring with someone like Tempest, and losing was nothing to be ashamed of. Alicia knew that. But at the same time, she couldn’t help but feel slighted. She had watched as her sister Ran through everyone in the company before being stopped by Tempest having her career and her momentum halted.

She would get in the ring and get some sort of revenge for her sister. As well as keeping her own comeback tour on the rails. But in the end, all that happened was she lost to the better woman. She was just angry that her significant other had been roped into it because of his connection to both women.

And after a loss, not being booked being thrown away and forgotten like she was nothing. It played on every single one of Alicia's insecurities. Through everything in her life, the one thing that was always going to play on her mind would be a fear of being forgotten. Thrown away like she was nothing. That is one thing that she could never handle that she could never live with and it is the one thing that was playing on her mind. Losing to Tempest meant that she had been forgotten. She was sitting at home playing the Happy Mother and the Happy Housewife, doing exactly what she had been doing before she decided to go back to professional wrestling and try and finish her story the way she wanted to.

But none of that seemed to matter now, her personal relationship had suffered.

Austin had tried to continue like nothing happened, going to the gym and working out as well as helping out the young members, taking his own sabbatical from the ring as he healed up his shoulder after surgery. But, he sensed there was something wrong with Alicia. He kept his distance trying to make sure that he didn’t upset her or didn’t make her feel worse.

Unfortunately, this had the opposite effect. Alicia closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she stood in the kitchen, staring at her cup of coffee before taking a sip and placing it back down again moving her neck from side to side. A few large cracks were that echoed through the kitchen. She had just gotten back from taking both of her boys to school before coming home and finding Austin getting ready to go to the gym. He looked over at her an eyebrow raised as she wasn’t in her workout gear and didn’t have her gym bag sitting next to her ready to go like she usually does.

”Not coming today?” Austin was concerned, but he tried to hide it. His voice boomed with the kind of confidence that he usually had. But, Alicia could tell there was something in his voice. A small sliver of concern

She took another sip of her coffee, putting it down before folding her arms over her chest ”What’s the point? Since I lost to your work wife I haven’t been booked. All I’ve done is sit on my butt and watch her get a fucking bombshells championship match and then fumble the ball…” her bright blue eyes burned, sparkling with the type of anger and frustration that was usually reserved for the most dire of situations.

Austin shook his head, putting his gym bag down. He realized that all of the frustration Alicia had been feeling over the last few weeks had bubbled to the surface. ”That isn’t fair. You seem to be angry at Tempest for simply doing her job. Or maybe you are angry at me for simply doing mine.”

Alicia took a deep breath, realizing that her words came out a fair bit harsher than she had realized. She calmed herself down before standing straight up and nodding slowly at Austin acknowledging that maybe she took it a little bit too far. ”I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated. I know what this business is like, you can’t win every match, and everyone ends up losing it at some point. I just can’t stand the feeling that I’ve lost a step. And the worst part is I also feel like the company has moved on from me like I don’t matter and they have forgotten who I am. The fact that they haven’t asked me to show to cut a promo or to talk to fans or do personal appearances or have a match just hurts”

Austin slowly smiled and stepped forward. He reached out and slightly ran his thumb across Alicia‘s cheek, he leaned down kissing her slowly, the type of kiss that you give someone when you have nothing but passion and love for them. Alicia‘s breath hitched in her throat as she seemed to go weak at the knees, Austin smiled and stepped back.

”That’s cheating Aus…”

He simply chuckled, leaning against the kitchen counter and looking her up and down. ”The way I see it you have two options, option number one. I go to the gym. I have a workout and then I come home while you stay here. Have a day to yourself and relax and then make you dinner.” He pulls for a moment Alicia raises an eyebrow waiting for option number two. ”Or… I stay home with you, we spend the day together and maybe get a personal workout in”

Alicia couldn’t help the chuckle, Austin turning on his charms was always amusing. He was good-looking and confident but sometimes he would come out with things that were so cheesy Alicia couldn’t help it laugh. But this instance it was a moment of levity that she needed to pull herself out of the hole that she had started to dig for herself. ”Alright big guy… I think a day together is exactly what the doctor ordered”  Alicia took a deep breath finally calming down and getting all of the frustrations out of the past couple of weeks she could now move forward. Or at least that was the plan.

An old enemy

”Well, that was a horrible experience. It’s something that I don’t think any of you know how it feels,  to be put in a situation like that. See, this profession is hard enough as it is. We put our bodies on the line and we get in the ring and we go at each other all for people's amusement. You win, you lose and you take some steps back. Admittedly some people can look brave when they lose and their careers won’t suffer but that is a rarity in this business.”

Alicia shakes her head her long blonde hair tied back in a messy bun with her lips painted a bright cherry red, a black Hoodie sits over the top of a black and grey band shirt showing the logo of American Deathcore band Whitechapel.

”I’m not going to stand here and say that losing to Tempest is some kind of big dishonorable event that is going to ruin my life. There is no shame in losing the tempest. I just hate the fact that Austin got dragged into it and thrown in the middle. I hate the fact that he was involved and it took my focus off of the match. And I hate the fact that since I lost her, I have been sitting on the sidelines waiting for my chance to get back in the ring. All it’s done is piss me off.”

“And don’t get it twisted I’m not angry at Tempest. She did nothing wrong. She got in the ring with Me and when the dust settled she was the one who had her handheld high and she got to move on with her career and go after Kayla Richards, who is our current bombshells champion. And yes Tempest did fail but she also put up a hell of a fight.”

“More of a fight, than I probably would have right now”

“But, the end of that match did leave me wondering where I was going to go from here. I had come back and started to remind people exactly who I am and what I’m about, but that loss to Tempest and then having to sit at home made me question exactly why I was doing this. But in the end? I came to the same answer as I had before. I know why I’m doing this, I know the kind of legacy I have in the legacy. I want to submit. And I can tell you this right now I am not going to rest until I reach every single one of my goals that I have left.”

Alicia can’t help with small shaking her head as she folds her arms over her chest.

”But, now that I am back I get to face some new name in SCW in Prudence Pierce., Hold on a second. Wait, what do you mean? Prudence isn’t new? What do you mean she used to be known as Kate Steele? What the fuck is this bullshit?”

Alicia looks over to the side, someone is sitting there whispering to her about Kate's different name and what she’s gone through. Alicia shakes her head her eyebrows raising before turning back and continuing with her promo flabbergasted at the unbelievable bullshit she just got forced to sit through and listen to

”Kate Steele. New name, same bullshit. When I came to this company I knew of you, I’ve seen you in our previous employers company and we had tussled many times before and over and over again. I ended up with my hand held high while all you did was fail. And all you ever did was make excuses time and time again. You would come back and talk about how you were going to make sure you tried your hardest only to fall on your ass and fail.”

“And never in meeting where you went wrong or taking ownership of it. Constantly making excuses to the fans and also to your family. Now, I understand you just got married so you’re going to change your name and do your best Crystal Hilton impersonation. But most people don’t completely change their first name their personality and everything about themselves to fit their new narrative when it comes to their wife.”

“Most people just take the other person's last name and get on with it but in typical Kate Steele/prudence Pierce fashion you have to overcomplicate things and spit in the face of common decency and social norms just because you feel like it and you want to be contrarian because you aren’t good enough for anything else”

“And since you got back all you have done is lose. You walk in you act like you’re going to do something great and then you fail. You make excuses and you fail and this is a constant thing with you. It is a cycle of abusive bullshit where you seem to think that you are capable of breaking the Internet and becoming a star when you’re not even capable of remembering your own past.”

“So he’s what’s going to happen Prudence. You and I are going to get in the ring in this hard-core match and I’m going to grab any weapon that’s around me and I’m gonna beat the hell out of you with it. Not because I actually think it’s going to beat any sense into you because that ship has long sailed. I am going to take out the collective frustrations of anyone who has ever believed in you or believed the bullshit that has come out of your mouth about Changing and I’m going to unleash it on you. All of that frustration and all of that anger is going to come out all over you by my hand. And then maybe just maybe you’ll finally get it through your head that no one wants you here and no one cares….”

I thought we were done with this.

She was sore. She hadn’t been this sore in a very long time. Then again, she hadn’t been in the ring for a very long time. Alicia opened her eyes, getting hit with the bright light from outside. She groaned and shook her head sitting up. The pain in her back shot straight up through her shoulders and the back of her neck.

It was her first day off in a week. The last five days Alicia had done nothing but train. And not just train the younger members of the gym, she trained herself. Hitting the ropes, doing grappling training, heavyweights, cardio. Everything that Alicia would need to make her come back.

She stood up, walking across her bedroom with a stretch before looking back with a smile. For the first time in what seemed like forever, she felt alive.

She made her way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, there was no one there. The boys were at school, and Austin was at the gym. This was her day. Her day to recover and relax. To enjoy herself and let her body heal and her mind get refocused on the goal ahead. She walked over to the coffee machine, turning it on, and got everything ready. The second she was done she pulled the mug to her face giving it a smell.

She let out a deep breath of happiness and relaxation. Turning and moving across to the kitchen counter, feeling content with everything that was going on in her life.

She took a sip of her coffee, smiling and closing her eyes. But being interrupted by a knock at the door. She got to her feet and moved through to the door, opening it up, tilting her head with a half smile and half look of confusion. ”Mom?!?” And sure enough standing in front of her was her mother. She stepped in past her daughter shaking her head as she did so going straight to the kitchen. Alicia tilted her head confused as to why she was here. ”Sure…come in…”

”What are you thinking?” She was annoyed about something, not just her words but also her body language showed it. Alicia shook her head and folded her arms over her chest not even bothering to ask why. She knew damn well that her mother was going to tell her. In great detail probably. ”Going back to wrestling? After you finally got out?” and there it was.

Alicia took a deep breath, pushed it out, and closed her eyes before trying to centre herself and opened them. She was going to try and stay calm. ”Yeah? That was always the plan. When I left, I never said I wasn’t going to go back. I always planned to. Time just got away from me.”

”Time got away from you?” That comment seemed to get under her skin. Alicia‘s mother took a deep breath and closed her eyes trying to do the same thing that Alicia did before opening them and speaking in a much more calm and mature voice. ”You spent years beating yourself up and doing the exact same thing that your father did. And then you find a man who loves you, you settle down and stop wrestling, you had it all you had financial security. Why are you doing this?”

Alicia groaned and rolled her eyes. This is the same attitude she always had. ”Is it really that hard for you to understand? That professional wrestling is something that’s ingrained in who I am? It’s the same with me and it’s the same with Zoey. This is what we do.”

Her mother stepped forward, folding her arms over her chest exactly like Alicia. ”I don’t understand you…. you have it all. You’ve got to live that dream, you made money, you got out of it.” She moved around Alicia, her arms moving as she went. ”Look at what happened to your father. He didn’t know when to stop and it destroyed his body. And he’s gone, I had to watch while you broke down. When he passed away, you’re miserable.”

Alicia shook her head, she understood where her mother was coming from but at the same time, the situations were not the same. She stepped forward, reaching out and grabbing her mother‘s hands. ”Is that what this is about?” She shook her head and sighed. ”Dad and I are not the same. Not only was he in his 50s and still wrestling, he was 7 feet tall and he drank like a fish. And never worked out. He didn’t even know what cardio meant.”

Alicia‘s mother couldn’t help but laugh. Even though they hadn’t been together in over 20 years, she was still devastated when Jason passed away. ”I know…I know….but, I just don’t want you to let yourself get broken down….I want you to have a good life.”

Alicia noted slowly, stepping back with a smile trying to sound as calm and kind as she possibly could. She understood where her mother was coming from. Especially since she had woken up this morning feeling so sore and beaten up. ”Mom….I do…”

I hate your face

”Relevance…”

Alicia takes in a deep breath and then pushes it out, standing on the top deck of the ship and looking down at the moving waves she tries to keep herself with a sense of calm and dignity. Something that is becoming increasingly harder and harder to do when dealing with fucking children.

”It’s hilarious that that’s where your mind went. Relevancy. Apparently, I have fallen so far that I’m no longer relevant because I decided to take time off and spend it with my children. I decided to go home and relax after years and years of hard work. Hard work that allowed people like you to benefit from it, Harper. Not that you give two shits about it.”

“I fought and I clawed over and over again week and week out to make sure that everybody was looking forward to the matches that I was in because I wanted people to be excited about women’s wrestling. I wanted people to be excited about all of it. I wanted to drag each and every woman that I got in the ring with up to my level because I knew that competition was going to make everything better. If I just stood there and ran through entire rosters of people then it quickly becomes boring, so I need people to be just as good as me  and I need people to be held up to that same standard.”

“Relevant?”

“It looks to me like I’m more relevant now than I’ve ever been. All you have to do is look at people like Mercedes Vargas, or even your cousin Jesse Salo before she decided to take some time off. They stuck around and have been collecting a paycheck. They haven’t been trying to better themselves or better the others around them. All they’ve been doing is stinking up the place.”

She chuckles and rolls her eyes before turning around and folding her arms over her chest.

”For you to compare me to her as well just shows how little you know about the professional wrestling business. And just how much you still have to learn. You see most people in your position, real people, not just fake bitches like yourself, they would realize that this is an opportunity. You are standing there running me down saying that I’m no longer relevant. So if you happen to beat me then what have you done? You have just beaten an irrelevant old nobody. Congratulations. You’ve made any relevancy that you would’ve gotten from beating me mean nothing”

“Idiot..”

“Now, I have already established exactly what I hope to get out of this match with you Harper. I told you that I wanted to test you to see if you earned that contract. I was allowing you to show me that you earned it and that you belong. I was allowing you to stand up for your generation against mine. When I went over to Japan and trained there I had my body destroyed and my mind broken. I had to get rebuilt back up.”

“I was ready to test myself in the United States and when I got here all I could see was a bunch of weaklings. Entitled weaklings. I step away from this business for a year and when I come back, that’s what I find again. I was giving you a chance to show me that I was wrong. And all you’ve done with stupid comments like that is prove that I’m right.”

Alicia throws her hands in the air, clearly frustrated and angry with the position that she finds herself in

”This business means everything to me. When I was a little girl, I wondered why my father was never around. And it was because of this business. Everything went through my teenagers and when I was a young adult, it all led me to want to pursue this. Because I wanted to see what this business was like and why it took my father away from me. And I fell in love with it.”

“I fell in love with everything. The travelling, the fans, the competition, the fact that I had this drive inside Me to try and be the best. And that drive, that fire, it never went away. I went home to spend time with my sons. I went home because I wanted to spend as much time with Austin as I could. I wanted life. But that desire, that need for competition, and that never went away. In fact, it got stronger.”

“And to be honest, I feel like I’m wasting my breath. I’m trying to teach you a lesson that you simply cannot fathom. You can’t understand it. You got given a contract when you graduated, and you say that you’ve tried to earn that, but you really haven’t. You turn up to work if you win a match you think it’s the greatest thing ever and if you lose you ignore it just like everyone else. Because you don’t learn anything.”

“So, I’m going to teach you”

“Just like I have been doing a Wolfslair. See, I’ve been teaching a whole bunch of young students coming through. I have a certain skill for it. But when it comes to me wanting to teach someone Harper, I don’t cuddle them and carry them and pat them on the head and tell them that everything is going to be alright. I beat my lessons into them. And they come out on the other side stronger, better, smarter, and ready to take on the world. But you? I don’t think you have it inside you to be in this business. I don’t think you have the same fire in the same drive that is needed to be at the top.”

Alicia moves along and looks over the opposite side toward the pool. She smiles as Austin plays with her sons as well as his children, Austin's sister and her son also enjoying the cruise and the time away from New York. This is what Alicia fights for.

”Your main argument against nepotism doesn’t really make a lot of sense either. People like you need to work harder. I know that because I knew I needed to work harder. Zoey knew she needed to work harder anyone who has relatives or friends who they’ve grown close to in this business needs to work harder when they have someone who would preceed them. But you took it one step closer. You want to assume that Christian and Mark had their eye on you when you were graduating Team Hero Academy? Really? We have so many young hungry stars sitting at Wolfslair…”

“You know how many of those young hungry kids have been signed by this company? Without any prior experience where they set other companies on fire or show what they could do? None. Zero. Because we don’t coddle them and bring them into a major company before they’re ready.”

“And that is from Wolfslair. A gym that has been responsible for some of the best this company has ever seen. Myself, Austin James Mercer, Alex Jones, Johanna Krieger, Sierra Williams, Miles Kasey, Finn Whelan, Lachlan Kane. The list goes on. And as much as you want to believe that Hero Academy is some great gym that produces legends and Schitt gold the truth is that it doesn’t. The only reason people care about that place is because Roxi and Keira run it…”

“But tell me Harper, who from that gym has ever done anything worthwhile? Go ahead bring some names oh wait.”

“You can’t. And you are trying to be the first one and that’s fine. I don’t like how you got here, I don’t like your attitude, and I don’t like that people seem to think you’re going to be something when you have shown nothing to anyone that proves it. And you’re making the same mistakes now. Sitting there talking about how you want to be a new hero in this company. How? You can’t even admit to yourself that maybe the way you got in here was a little bit shady. You can’t even admit to yourself that I’m still just as good as I’ve always been. Instead, you want to throw accusations at me like I’m the same as Mercedes Vargas. You want to tear people down instead of lift them up when I have done nothing but try and lift the division.”

“So, falls count anywhere, summer xxxtreme, you, the young hungry rookie who thinks they can do no wrong, Me the grizzled veteran who seems to have a stick up her ass. I know the role I have to play. I know that some people think that I’m a monster, but the truth is Harper? I’m a teacher and I’m trying to teach you a lesson. I just hope that the people around you haven’t poisoned your mind to the possibility of actually fucking learning something. So shut your mouth, take your lesson, and then thank me..”

In my blood

Depression.

Statistics say that over 70% of the adult population of the world at some time or another will experience forms of depression. Personally, I believe that number to be a bit too low. Depression is a state of being that most of us feel sometime in our lives. Whether or not we deal with depression or if we have depression in any other way than a fleeting moment is not up for debate. What is up for debate is whether or not we have it as some form of state of being, or if it is just something that comes into our lives that leaves just as quickly.

For Alicia Lukas depression was something that she had felt before. Felt back when she was in an abusive relationship that slowly destroyed her self-esteem and self-worth. A relationship that beat her down physically emotionally and mentally for years until she had the courage to leave.

However, the effects of that relationship had been felt for the rest of her life. Going from relationship to relationship, thinking that she found the right one while falling into the same traps as before. Watching as men that she had come to care about tried to control every little thing that she did.

From Chris Cane, to Travis Blake, to Kaden Kessler, and even her late husband Michael Reynolds.

They all tried to manage and control her in different ways. From what she would wear, to her attitude, and her career. They would try and control different aspects of her life instead of letting her be free. This was never a situation where it was something small that she would need to discuss with a significant other. No, this was aspects of her freedom that were being constrained, controlled, and beaten down so she had no free will left.

That was until she entered into a relationship with a man. She had been friends with and known for the better part of a decade. Austin James Mercer. Former Sin City wrestling world heavyweight champion, and a champion in many other companies. One of the head trainers at Wolfslair NYC and Alex Jones’ go-to guy. Austin was tall, muscular, and handsome. After getting covered in tattoos had an air of danger about him that he never had before. As well as an attitude that had been turned into a sharp edge instead of a baby-face grin.

And their relationship had been amazing. Austin was compassionate and loving, he gave her all the attention that she could ever want and need while staying back far enough to give her the freedom she desired. But for just over a year Alicia had taken a step back from entering competition to stay at home. To take some time for herself and her family.

Spending time with her sons and Austin as well as his children and his sister and her son had done Alicia wonders. She had reconnected with her mother and come to an understanding that while they loved each other they would never think or feel the same way when it came to the world. But now, now Alicia sat in her kitchen. A cup of coffee in front of her and her hands grasped the large mug. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath filled with urgency and nervous energy. She shouldn’t be nervous. She thought to herself in the strangest of ways as she looked across the table at Austin. He just sat there with a cup of coffee, and newspaper in his hand.

Austin also recently took some time off from professional wrestling. A chronic back injury ended his last run and a decision was made to take some time off to heal and spend it at home with the children. He would still work at the gym training the next generation of athletes, something that Alicia had also done.

She took a deep breath, she had a fire in her eyes that hadn’t been there for months.

”I wanted to ask you something.”

Her voice breaking silence made Austin look up from his paper, a small smoke on his lips as he tilted his head waiting for her to keep going with the thoughts in her mind ”What’s that?”

Alicia swallowed, pushing all of that nervous energy that was bubbling into the surface back down to the bit of her stomach. She took a deep breath and got ready. ”I…..want to go back to SCW…..I think it’s time….so can I?.” She stayed ahead studying Austin, he folded up the paper and put it down in front of him before clasping his hands together.

”Okay, so why?”

Alicia swallowed and took a deep breath before getting ready to plead her case ”Well, I really miss it. I miss the feeling of being out in front of the fans. I miss the feeling of everything that goes on in that company and in that ring. And I feel like I have so much left to give. I’ve been gone for a year and in that time I have found myself again. I finally feel physically and mentally healed and I’m ready to go. I’m ready to be The Alicia Lukas everyone remembers.”

Austin chuckled and shook his head, it took her a second but Alicia realised that she had actually interrupted Austin. He had more to say and she just blurted everything out ”I wasn’t going to ask why you wanted to go back. I was going to ask you why were you asking me?” he paused, studying Alicia‘s body language and everything that was coming with it. ”It’s your career. It’s your life. You know that no matter what happens I’ll always support you. Besides, being in the ring is in your blood.” he smiled, and Alicia‘s heart lifted. All the pressure and nervous energy that she had felt just lifted off her shoulders and flew away. She was happy.

”I just wanted to make sure that you were okay with it. We spent so much time together and now that you were home, I didn’t want you to think that I was avoiding you.” Austin laughed, he knew that wasn’t the reason and that she was hiding the real reason. But instead of calling her out on it, he simply smiled and reached across grabbing her hand. He gave it a squeeze to let her know that everything was alright.

After a few moments, he sat back and stretched before chuckling and giving her a wink ”Well, I suppose I should tell Alex. After all, since you’ll be coming back to the gym as an active member instead of a trainer, sure he will want you to put in the extra work to get you back in ring shape.”

Alicia faked being upset. She put her hand on her chest and stood up before moving around to where Austin was sitting. She lowered herself onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. ”Sir, I am offended. Look at Me. Don’t I look like I’m in great shape already?” Austin shook his head with a laugh. That isn’t what he meant and she knew it.

He put his hand on her knee and leaned forward giving her a small kiss. ”I know you are just screwing with me. But really, I want to help you get ready. That division is not going to know what hit them. You are one of the most naturally gifted people I’ve ever seen……let’s make sure the division knows who they have been so scared of for the last few years…”

Alicia smiled. There was nothing more to be said. She knew she had Austin's support and his love and also his devotion. He was going to make damn sure that she was ready. That she was back to the Alicia that she had always been. The dangerous strong style Southern Bell the woman who had been so dominant that she won awards that no one else had. This was her second coming. and God help anyone who stood in her way

An old enemy

”Did you all miss me?”

The southern drawl of Alicia Lukas breaks the silence. She smiles and takes a deep breath. A look of genuine happiness on her face. She missed this and it shows.

”I would say that I missed all of you but I really don’t like feeling like a liar. In fact, I’ve never been one. To my detriment. See, I have always been honest to a fault. And that has made me hated by most in this company and some in the wrestling world at large. Cause I have the balls to say what most won’t. I will hold a mirror up to society and the wrestling world and shine a reflection on your shortcomings and your reality. A reality that most of you skew in your favor.”

“A reality that is a real lie and fabrication.”

“I have been sitting at home for over a year in self-imposed exile. And honestly, part of me did it because I thought my work was done.”

“Six years ago, when I came into this company, the bombshells division was in a state of disarray. Your legends had either quit or were sticking around to just get a paycheck and bleed this company dry. So when SCW bought out Honor Wrestling and I knew I was about to debut I took it upon myself to fix things.”

Alicia shakes her head with a sigh.

”And fix them I did.

She takes a deep breath and throws her arms out to the side with an arrogant smile.

”I took the Bombshells championship and made it into a prize that everyone in the wrestling world wanted. It was because of me that Roxi Johnson and Keira Fisher-Johnson came back. I made legends and huge names want to return or come into this company to try and beat me. I rejuvenated the bombshell division. I made damn sure that everyone knew the name Alicia Lukas.”

“And when I had left the division in a better position than when I found it, I took some time off. I returned when I felt like it but in the end, I knew it was time for me to go home relax and spend time with my kids. Meanwhile, well, the division that I had built up and tried to make something had slowly broken apart and fallen into disrepair. Women who said that they were in it for the long haul that I left the division in their hands dropped the ball”

“Amber Ryan burned out and left, Roxi and Keira went back into semi-retirement, and the same legends that I have tried to chase out or make stand-up or back to their old goddamn tricks. Mercedes Vargas, Sam Marlowe, and Jessie Salco all went back to being themselves. Names taking up spots. Along with Crystal and her on and off again bean head wife…Seleana Zdunich…”

“This division has gone from a group of killers ready to rip each other’s heads off to get head to being entitled weaklings or legends who are just taking up a spot. For every Julianna DiMaria or Tempest or Kayla Richards carrying the flag,  there is a Harper Mason or Eiley thinking they should have everything handed to them.”

Alicia grinds her teeth and shakes her head. Clearly annoyed and somewhat offended by all this.

”But, my crusade against the entitled younger generation will need to wait. Because instead, I’m going to face The feeble wannabes who have stuck around like a bad smell first. Seleana Zdunich. An old enemy. Someone who was once looked at as the future of the division along with Me. A woman who many believed was going to be the next big thing and was going to stay at the top of the card trading wins back-and-forth with me for the next decade. But that’s not what happened is it?”

“Cause while you had some early success, it never really took off like it did with me. Did it Sel? “

“I won the Bombshells championship and in a moment that has been listed on the “biggest flukes ever” you were able to beat me. And for a fleeting moment, Sel everyone thought you were going to make it as a wrestler. As your own person. Instead of just being the leggy blonde in a relationship with a member of the Rose Hilton whatever dynasty.”

“As quickly as your star rose…it fell.”

“And no matter how many shots you get or secondary titles you win you can never recapture that glory. And to be honest with you Seleana, your attempts have gotten sad. Like really sad. You limp along week in and week out, and the biggest question I have is. Why?”

She pauses waiting for an answer that will never come.

”Why do this to yourself? Your family? Your friends? The fans? Why Seleana? I mean, I get it. We all go through slumps in our lives. We all go through times when things seem tough and there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel. Even me. But the difference between us is that I haven’t tarnished my legacy by sticking around way longer than I should. I took a break. Stepped back. Reevaluated my life and role in the professional wrestling landscape.”

“I changed my way of thinking. And because of that, I have returned more determined and ready to go. Ready to reclaim my spot and ready to fix a broken system and division that is clinging to life.”

“For every bright light in this company, there are four or five destroying the credibility.”

“And you are one of them.”

“You are one of the reasons this division is in danger. You are one of the reasons people look down upon SCW. You, your wife, Alexandra Calaway, Vargas, Bae Barnhart, Harper Mason…..you are all negatives when I want SCW to be a positive. And now that I’m back? People like you have to watch out. Cause I ain’t fucking around, I am going to come at you with everything I have. And you have no idea how sad I am knowing that not only will you not match my effort….but you will make this all feel like a joke.”

Alicia’s nostrils flare and she cracks her neck.

”The worst part about this whole thing is that there was a time when I believed you could be great. There was a time when I accepted you being Me even with your bitch wife’s help was serendipitous to your talent. I gave you respect for wanting to right those wrongs. There was a time when you had a fire inside you. A time when you loved coming to work and you loved getting into that ring and you wanted to be the best. There was a time when you were doing everything you could do to prove everyone wrong.”

“The last few months though, no scratch that, the last few years since this has been going on before I left. Those last few years have been nothing short of abysmal for you. You turn up and do the bare minimum, you cut these promos where you just look tired and you look like you don’t want to be here. So again let me ask the question. Why? why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you no longer trying to be the best?”

“The truth is always hard to face.”

“And the truth is that you just don’t have it inside you anymore. You do not have that fire inside you to make all of this worth it. And if you aren’t in this to be the best, if you are just here to collect a paycheck and to have something in your life worth meaning? Then you are not going to last here. You are not going to be remembered as anything short of a fluke. I got into the Hall of Fame, I have had championship reigns people remember and wins that have gone down in history as well as awards that no one else had up until recently.”

“I kicked off the domination of the women’s division. And when I see people like you? Limping along and not doing anything of note? It makes me angry and when I get in the ring with you, I am not going to go easy on you or have any type of mercy.”

“I’m going to break you Seleana and there is nothing and nobody that is going to stop me.”

Broken

The light just wouldn’t come closer.

Running down the hallway, feeling her heart coming close to bursting as she chased it. The light at the end of the tunnel with darkness all around. She had been running for what felt like an eternity. As good as her cardio was she was close to a collapse.

Close to having to stop. But the drive inside her just refused to let go. It pushed her, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how much she wanted it to stop.

It just wouldn’t let her.

Her chest heaved, her body felt heavy, her joints ached and sweat poured from every single part of her body. And no matter how hard or how fast she ran, she couldn’t catch the light, she couldn’t get to the end.

But she also couldn't stop chasing it.

She wanted it, she needed it. She felt like without the light she was nothing.

But it being out of her reach, constantly moving and going further without her being able to attain it. It drove her insane, it made her mad in ways that so many other people would never understand. She anted to scream. But running, being so tired and her heart feeling like it was going to explode. She couldn’t…she could scream, she couldn’t stop…all she could do was keep running…

Until she woke up.

Sitting right up in bed, drenched in sweat, was Alicia. Her hair stuck to her body, her hands shaking and her body feeling like she had just run a marathon. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to calm herself down, stop her heart from racing and to go back to normal. But, before she could lay down and go back to sleep, she heard a voice interrupting those plans.

”You are seriously fucked up, you know that right?”

Dr Whitlow, her gray hair in a bun, dressed in a orange suit and her glasses, sat at the base of Alicia's bed. Her eyes trailing up to the blond haired blue eyed  wrestler who is now sitting up straight and looking annoyed as she stares back at her apparition of a therapist. ”I’llbe even worse if someone doesn’t let me get my beauty sleep

She shot back in a very straight forward, annoying and somewhat sassy way. She was not putting up with this shit. Dr Whitlow scoffed and stood up, moving away from Alicias bed and folding her arms over her chest.”Awfully arrogant for someone with failure issues and nightmares aren’t you? It’s actually rather refreshing seeing how far you’ve fallen yet still seem to retain your brand of….personality.” Alicia groaned and lowered herself back

She closed her eyes, throwing her leg over a pillow next to her, letting out a deep sigh as she tried to get back to sleep. ”I’m going to sleep now, I have to leave early in the morning, so just leave whatever lesson you remembered from some textbook I made up in my psyche written on a napkin on the bedside table or something.”

Whitlow narrowed her eyes and turned kicking the end of Alicias bed. ”Look you arrogant little shit, I wouldn’t even need to be here if your psyche didn’t dream me up and spit me out whenever you’re having an existential crisis.” Alicia scoffed and rolled her eyes before rolling her whole body over amd facing away from Whitlow. ”So what is it this time? Hmm? Do you finally realise you’re falling behind?”

Alicia sighs and tries to ignore her. ”Whatever…just let me sleep…”

”Let you sleep? You’re awake because you want to be, hell if you want to get all technical about it, you’re talking to yourself right now…so you CLEARLY have issues.”

Alicia groans again and sits up, dragging herself up and to a sitting position. ”Clearly…so what?......what am I going to do?. If I want to sleep I have to..what?...talk to you?” She groans and shakes her head. ”I choose to sit up and ignore you instead….”

Whitlow scoffs and shakes her head. ”Stubborn…impressively so. But It will still play on your mind and you’ll fail…” She scoffed and turned away from Alicia as Alicia looked over to her. ”You need to learn to use me Alicia, use the fact you can talk to yourself and work out your issues…”

”Seriously?....well can we…not do it out here? Like can you just disappear back in my head or something?”

”.....No”

A cub

”The last time any of you saw me, three months ago, I was a failure…”

Her arms fold over her chest, she leans back against the brick wall and props one of her legs up against it.

”I had an opportunity, and I failed in pursuit of that win and opportunity. I got in that ring and for the most part I did what Alicia Lukas does. I was on the fast track to win. I was ready, willing and able. I stood above Krystal Wolfe and Sam Marlowe, I stood above Diamond Steele and when the dust of that contest settled I was seconds away from being declared the winner. Only to have it stolen away from me by a woman with a steal chair. And what was the end result hmm?”

“Krystal Wolfe forgot the match ever happened, moved on and shrugged it all off. Sam Marlowe has remained largely a mnon factor in SCW and has stayed as a name from the past and irrelevant to the past and future of this company.”

“And Diamond Steele?”

“The woman who stepped up and stole the win and who stopped me from being able to right the damn ship, what did she do? What did she use the win for? Hmmm? She faded away into nothing and now we stand at a point where she might not even be a part of SCW anymore. So I lost for nothing, I lost for a stupid reason to a person who is not even a part of the damn title picture.”

She can’t help but scoff and laugh under her breath moving across the room before turning and sitting down on a chair back to front, leaning her arms over the back as she leans forward.

”And what did I do huh? I had to sit back and watch it all happen, sit back and watch my inability to see Diamond Steele be a sneaky bitch cost me a win. So, I walked. I took time to myself and watched as Zoey continued to climb to higher heights even in a loss to Tempest. But I needed that time away, I needed to look after my sons, to enjoy my life at home, I needed it and I wanted it. But there comes a time for all that to end…”

“And a week ago, that time came. I realised I had to get back here, I had to give this whole company and division a shot in the arm.”

“I know what my goals are, they’re simple, get back to the winning side and try and get a shot at Masque De Lune.”

“Seee, everyone else seems to be getting their shots against her, whether it was before she won the title or after it. They all constantly tried to drag her down, to beat her. And no one seems to have the answer to her. But maybe, just maybe I do. Maybe I can solve the riddle. End her reign of terror…but to do that, well I have to get back to where I was, a place I haven’t been able to go for over two years….two years since I was at the top of this division in this company….”

“I need to change that…”

She smiles and laughs again.

”And Bella Madison can help me. That’s right, I said help me. See, she can help me remember who I am and what I’m about by simply doing one thing. Something I hope Bella is ready to do. She can help me by brining everything she has against me. And for her, that is one of the most simple things in the world. Cause that is what Bella does every single match. Every single fight. It’s something you should all pat attention too. Win or lose Bella Madison leaves it all in the ring and will always know she did her best.”

“And every single opponent knows they’ve been in a fight….whether they beat Bella or not.”

“And that’s what I need from you Bella. I need that level or determination and strength. I need you to get in the ring and test me. Test me in the Wolfslair way. See, you know what that means don’t you? You know that even in training we give it our all and do everything we can to push each other. And lately you have shown a dedication to those ideals that have been stronger than even mine. You have been on a roll and knocking out Crystal was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

“But now, I need you to try and do the same to me. The only problem is, you know damn well I am not like Crystal, you know who you are facing and what I am Bella…but still…I want all you have to offer…I want everything you can do…so please Bella….try and beat me…try and destroy me…it’s the least you can do…”

Masks

She was covered in sweat. Long blond hair tied back in a bun with a few strands down her face and back, stuck to her glistening skin. A water bottle sitting next to her, her upper body covered in a black and pink compression shirt, adorned with the Wolfslair logo on the back, her lower body, a pair of black and pink venum fight shorts. Alicia was smiling, she was happy. Endorphins released after a good work out.

She looked over with a large smile, Zoey Lukas, her hulking younger sister, backwards baseball cap on her head, earpods in with some kind of metalcore blaring. A metal bar over her back as she did squats with more weight than most of the men. In fact as Alicia looked around she saw them, open mouths, staring as Zoey hummed the tune of the song, dropping down and pushing up as she exhaled and stood back up.

She was proud of Zoey. Proud of what her younger sister had accomplished in a short time in SCW.

Her frustrations sat within herself. Within her own performances and her position with the company. As well as the decorum and attitude of her fellow bombshells. She stared off into space, reminding herself of the position she had found herself in. She leaned forward, taking a sip of her water, trying to concentrate on something, anything else. She didn’t even hear Zoey finish her workout and come over to her. It was just a voice in the distance, a numb sound followed by a ringing in her ears that seemed to stop as suddenly as it began.

”Hey, you listening to me?” She snapped out of it, looking up at her sister, Zoey raised an eyebrow and shook her head before turning and sitting down next to Alicia. Both of them desreed very similar except the pink trim was replaced with neon green. ”What’s up with you? You have been distant as all hell the last few weeks.” She was right of course. And Alicia knew it. But she had no idea how to explain it, and didn’t want to put her burdens on Zoey.

”I’m ok Zo, I just have alot on my mind with SCW ya know?”

She shot back a smile, Zoey frowned and say back raising her legs up and resting her arms on her knees. ”I get the feeling you don’t want me around. Like…is it that bad us working together?”

Alicias head snapped forward, she shook her head and reached over grabbing Zoeys wrist. ”It’s not that Zo, at all.” She smiled at her younger sister and sat back looking up at the roof. ”I’m not happy with my career. I know that might seem like whining. I have had a career most would dream of but I have fallen off lately. And I have been very vocal about it. I just feel like I’m failing…”

Zoey shook her head and planted her feet pulling herself up and turning to hold out her hand. Alicia took it and got pulled to her feet. The two sisters sharing a moment. ”Failing? Look you might not be the champion, you might not be winning matches left and right but I’d hardly say you were failing…I mean I heard you last week before the match with Candy and with La Rosa-”

Crystal” Alicia said forcefully, angrilly, full of frustration.

Zoey laughed to herself and gave a small nod holding her hands up in defeat. ”My point is you had passion, you were so angry that someone would do this as well as being booked against Candy you let it go. And for a moment it was like…I dunno..”

Zoey paused, sounding like she wanted to say something, anything else. Alicia raised her eyebrow. ”Like what?”

Zoey took a pause and a breath, it wasn’t usually like her to hold in her thoughts or feelings, or to sugar coat or second guess. ”It seemed like you were the old Alicia. The one that turned up in Honor and murdered everyone, the one that then came here and destroyed the competition. The one that I used to get angry at when I tried to forge my way in wrestling and all I heard was “Oh hey your sister did” over and over again…”

Alicia chuckled and slowly gave a nod of admission and a smile. ”I can’t argue with that. Shit, the match with Candy had me feeling like me again.”  Alicia cleared her throat. ”Honestly, since the divorce I just haven’t..felt the same.” She trailed off and stared ahead, in the distance, moving between the equipment. It looked like…Dr Whitlow. A chill going up Alicias spine. ”I…I have to go..”

”Ali?”

”I’ll///I’ll text you later ok?...” Alicia backed up and turned moving as fast as she could toward the showers. Zoey tilted her head, looking toward the equipment that seemed to spook Alicia so much. Alicia burst through the door, moving toward the locker areas, pulling the small steel door open and pulling her bag out. She grabbed her phone, unlocking it and sending a message off. Before she could hit sending a voice startled her.

”What are you doing Violet?” It startled her, the aged voice of the Doctor. Alicia turned, finding her standing in front of her, in a grey suit, her hands clasped together with her glasses down the end of her nose. ”Sening a text message to your ex husband? Begging for help? This isn’t the strong independent woman you tried to be dear.”

Alicia tookm sharp breaths in and out shaking her head and closing her eyes muttering to herself over and over again. You’re not here, you’re not here, you’re not here” She opened her eyes and Dr Whitlow was still there, her hands moving as she folded her arms over her chest.

Alicia wanted to scream throwing her hands in the air and pacing back and forth. ”You can’t get rid of me until you accept who you are….and that isn’t going to happen messaging Michael”

Alicia sneered and shook her head looking down and away. ”Leave me alone…” She said it low, she said it quietly before her head shot up. ”LEAVE ME ALONE!” There was no one, her voice echoed through the empty room, bouncing off the tiled walls. Her heart was racing, she stepped back and slid down the wall to the floor taking deep breaths. Trying to calm herself down.

A bruised rose

”Well. Sometimes “I told you so” won’t cut it.”

Alicia couldn’t help but laugh, pacing back and forth, already looking frustrated and angry. Many would say emotional or full of anger. She shook her head and stared forward.

”Going into my match against Candy I said that no matter where I was in my professional life that I could and would beat her. I told you all she didn’t belong in the ring with me. And that she doesn’t even belong in the damn company. And that isn’t just hyperbole, that’s the truth. Candy doesn’t belong in SCW or the bombshells division. This company, this whole company is for wrestlers. Not pretend wannabes. And now that I have beaten her again and reminded the world of who I am and what I’m about, hopefully that bubblehead idiot takes the hint and we don’t have to ever see her  in this company or in the ring with me ever again….”

“Atleast, that is my hope. And I get it, I do. I understand that in a wrestling company sometimes we keep bringing people back for a cheap pop and moment that shouldn’t really exist. And trust me, if there is a phrase that perfectly exemplifies Candy..it’s “cheap pop”..”

“But, she should not have been here and I sent her packing.”

“And as a professional athlete I do what my bosses ask. I get in the ring multiple times with people who are not on my level and I do it with a smile because I am asked. I did it with Candy, all this year Candy was there, in my face and time after time I beat her and made her look like the useless inept child we all know she is. And, now, I am doing it with Crystal Hilton-Miller-Zdunich.”

“I really hate her names…”

Alicia rolls her eyes and takes a deep breath trying to remain calm and centered instead of exploding all over the place and getting furious.

”And now we can add a new one to that. La Rosa Ardiente. Or, the burning rose in English. And yes, really, I’m not making that up. Crystal turned around and named herself, under a mask, her fucking nickname and then thought no one would notice a luchadora, who is the same height, body type and moves the same. Do you understand why I’m annoyed Crystal? It’s not just that it’s you, and trust me on this, I dislike you and always will, your attempts at “building bridges” with me have done nothing but make me want to kick you in the face as hard as I can and assist with your goddamn dental surgery…”

“But, in this instance the annoyance I feel is not directly tied to it being you. No. it’s because it was lazy. You want to do this whole thing where you pretend to be someone else and try and fool everyone then why not dye your hair, come up with a better name, maybe take some time at the gym to put some muscle on that wirey frame of yours or go eat a cheese burger and then learn some different goddamn wrestling moves so maybe, just maybe we have no idea it’s you?”

“Hmm? Good idea?”

“The anger I feel isn’t just because it’s you it’s because you were lazy with it and decided to simply do the bare fucking minimum, which, if anyone has followed your career knows is the goddamn norm for you.”

“I have never in my life met anyone as prepared to take a shortcut as the “great” Crystal Hilton. And yes I am going to use that name because I am sick and tired of you changing your name and personality every few months to “freshen” up your career. You want to know how to freshen up your career? Petrol and a box of matches would be a goddamn good start you horse faced bitch.

Alicia clearly has lost it, her eyes narrowing as she growls under her breath.

”And it’s quite the history you and I have isn’t it? Now borderline problematic racial issues aside with you and your…less than classy comments while under the mask, we need to remember something when it comes to SCW. See, Crystal, you have been a champion here, and you have beaten the best and at various times have had the right to call yourself the best in the world, or the GOAT. But, based on our history you have never, ever, been able to say that you are better than me. Every single time you have stepped to me in any match that matters you have failed miserably.”

“To put it bluntly. I have made you my bitch for the last six years.”

“And now, here you are, back in SCW after your life started falling apart and you got canned and thrown out on your ass expecting all of us that celebrated your downfall to welcome you back with open arms like nothing happened. That shit doesn’t fly. And what’s worse is that you believe a new coat of paint, a change in accent and a win over Char Kwan of all people is going to get you back top the top of the division. I don’t know whether to admire your determination or be disappointed at the rampant stupidity…”

She paces back anfd forth again, a black bandana sitting under her long blond hair and tied so the knot is at the front of her head.

”But don’t worry Crystal, Rosa, whatever the fuck. I am going to do you a solid here. See, at Violent conduct I am going to walk down to that ring, I am going to do what I always do, and when my hand is raised and you are laying on the mat is an much pain and anguish as I am legally allowed to inflict upon you, I am going to tear that mask off your head and expose you to the world. And hopefully, hopefully…you’ll learn a lesson…”