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Messages - Logan Boys

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Supercard Archives / Sea Sick
« on: August 10, 2012, 09:22:04 PM »
 “Jace is you okay?” Lash asked through the door of the bathroom in their suite on The Royal Monarch.

“Does it sound like I’m okay,” Jace groaned back sarcastically.

“No, it sound like you puke up dinner,” Lash responded back

“Well thank you Capt. Obvious,” Jace grumbled as he shoved the door open and practically fell through the opening. He crawled across the floor and curled up beside the bed.

“I close port thingy, you can lay on bed now.” Lash told him.

“NO!” Jace groaned. “no no no, I just wanna lay here and die, please, Lash, just go find a dolphin to ride, or a fish to wrangle, or a damned sea urchin to torment and leave me be.”

“I no leave you here sick, it no be nice.” Lash pointed out.

“Yes, yes it would be very, very nice actually, in fact it would be the nicest thing you could possibly do for me at this moment in time.” Jace pleaded.

“But Jacey, we need talk about the match, Raynin and Gothy lady is mad at us, they think we be mean to them, what we do?” Lash asked.

“First, don’t ever, ever, ever in life call me Jacey again, and secondly, appearently Raynin and Gothika think we were lying when we said we respected them and didn’t care what gender they were as long as we got to have fun defending our titles. “ Jace said.

“But we no lie, dad say he wash out mouths out if we lie, since is okay to curse he use soap for lie.” Lash said earnestly.

“I know that,” Lash groaned. “Now will you please go away so I can finish dying now?”

“No. Now we got prove we no lie to them, then they no be mad at us no more. I want good fight, not pissed off people making meanie faces at us.” Lash pointed out.

“Oh good god Lash does it fucking matter, I’m dying here, please, please, dear god, just go away.” Jace muttered, yanking a blanket down off the bed and pulling it over his head.

“Yes it matter,” Lash told him, reaching over and removing the blanket. “Dad say angry opponent make mistake, we no want angry opponent, we want keep our belts ‘cause they do best but we do better, not ‘cause someone make mess up.”

“If you include the words “dad said” in another sentence, I am gonna find the strength to get up off this floor and puke on you.” Jace told him.

“EWWWW!” Lash said, angrily blowing bubbles at him in response. The bubbles were lemon scented, making Jace gag and wave the bubbles away from his face.

“Nothing that smells like food, please, damnit Lash!” Jace grumbled as he swatted at the offending bubbles.

“You want drammamint?” Lash asked him.

“That’s Dramamine and I just finished puking the last one.” Jace said miserably.  “Can’t you just get them to stop the boat?”

“Nope, this cruise, boat move from port to port, we won’t stop till time get off.” Lash said.

Muttered curses and groans of misery are the only thing to follow those words.

“I think maybe I make Raynie lady and Gothy lady presents and then they no be mad at us no more.” Lash said in contemplation.

“No, dear god please no! You’ve gotten us in enough trouble on land with your “presents” please don’t get us thrown off the boat and into a raft, I’m begging you Lash, as your only brother, please, I couldn’t handle a raft, all that rocking…”

“And don’t forget the sharks,” Lash added in happily.

“I hate you.” Jace grumbled.

“Beside, I no give them pets, where I get pets on a boat?” Lash pointed out.

“PLEASE, don’t say that too loud, Batee will have us wrestling on boats for the rest of our time in BACW if he thinks it will keep you and those creatures out of his office.” Jace said.

Lash just laughed, before settling in the chair across the room

“I think I give them chocolates, everyone like chocolate, we give them chocolate and they be happy,” Lash said.

“This is neither Halloween nor Valentines Day Lash,” Jace said “Now please promise me that you will leave them alone until our match, okay?” Lash begged. “We’re already the youngest tag team in NWA history, we don’t need to mess that up by having them add the tagline “shortest reign” on the end of that do ya?”

“Fine, fine, I give them presents after the match, “ Lash said “Then they no feel so bad when they loose.”

“Nothing you could give them would make them feel better about losing Lash, so will you please just drop it so I can get back to dying here?” Jace whined.

“Know what I think?” Lash asked.

“I’m not sure I really want to,” Jace began “In fact, that is one of the stupidest questions there is, how would anyone know what someone else is thinking, I’m not in your brain! What a dumb question, or lead in, or whatever the hell it’s called. Who would want to know what you’re thinking, my luck you’ll tell me you’re thinking of purple spotted chaos worms and then what the hell am I supposed to say?”

“Purple spotted chaos worms?” Lash muttered, and than sat quietly for a good five minutes staring off into space, trying to imagine what purple spotted chaos worms actually looked like.

“It’s official,” Jace grumbled.

“What?” Lash asked, his attention turned back to his brother at last.

“You’re 17 fruit loops shy of a box,” Jace told him, shaking his head “now please take, snap, crackle, pop and the rest of the voices you talk to and get the hell out of here so I can rest.”

“I no like rice crispies,” Lash pointed out.

“I know, I know, forget I said anything…” Jace said desperately.

“It no right, cereal is no supposed to talk,” Lash said solemnly. “They are plotting something evil, I know it, it why they no have no cool marshmallows in the box, cause they mean.”

“How in the bloody blue hell can breakfast cereal be mean!!!” Jace thundered.

“But it IS mean!” Lash told him. “They won’t never let the poor bunny have any Trix, that no nice, it just like the coyote never gets to have no road runner dinner, they should let try just once, it no fair he chase and chase and just get thinner and thinner.”

“I am in hell.” Jace grumbled.

“The boat is no so bad.” Lash said.

“Yes, yes it is, and that wasn’t even what I meant and you know it,” Jace grumbled, and Lash just chuckled.

“See, you are just doing this to torment me, I knew it, why would you be so cruel Lash, why can’t you just go out there on the deck and go on the slide or stare at the ocean or something?”

“Well cause Uncle Mike say I need stay with you so I no get in trouble or lost like at airport,” Lash pointed out.

Jace groaned.

“Lash, how am I supposed to help you defend our belts if I die from motion sickness and you harassing me?” Jace asked him.

“But no one is ever die from being motion sick and no one is ever die from talk to someone else either, so you okay.” Lash told him.

“How do you know?” Jace questioned. “I could be really, really dying here and you think I’m kidding, and then will you laugh when I’m dead?”

Lash’s face sombered and his eyes widened.

“Are you really dying, I go get ships doctor, I sorry, I think you just be drama, I no Know you dying, I get you help now, it be okay Jace!” Lash said, rushing for the door.

“LASH!” Jace yelled. “Damnit, I WAS being dramatic, okay, damn, I don’t need a doctor, I just need to lay here a little while, okay?”

Lash grinned widely.

“What?” Jace asked with a glare.

“I know you drama, that why I be drama too,” Lash said, laughing now. “You funny, you face get red and big vein stick out, you look like you head about to explode like Batsys Scotch bottles.”

A sigh

A grumble

A groan

“God I hate you,” Jace said at last.

“No you don’t,” Lash said, still laughing as he headed for the door. “I go find food now, surf and turf is yummy, I bring you back some.”

“Please…no.” Jace begged but the door was already closed. “God, please just kill me.”

2
Supercard Archives / Shark Week, Bomb Scares, and Snickers!
« on: August 03, 2012, 09:34:11 PM »
 “Now where we go?” Lash asked his brother as they stood in a crowded airport, looking more than just a little bit lost ever since their father and their uncle had been forced to leave them after Lord of the Rings to fly up to Montreal in order to deal with an old friend who’d gotten himself into some big time trouble.

Maybe it seemed a little bit sheltered, but the Logan Boys had never done much traveling without one of their older relatives along, and now, standing there among the throng of people surging from ticket booths to waiting areas, they felt more than just a little bit rattled.

“I think we should just go wait in the seating area until they call our flight, and then as soon as we get to Vegas, we can check into a hotel and wait to get on this cruise.” Jace told him, looking just a little green at the thought.

“You no like the ocean.” Lash pointed out.

“No, but I like our titles, so I’ll be getting on that damned boat and hope we don’t find ourselves in a titanic reenactment.” Jace commented with a groan.

“You no have worry, we be in Pacific Ocean, no Atlantic, they no have Icebergs in Pacific.” Lash reminded him.

“You know, I forgot about that,” Jace said with a little grin, looking just a little bit happier.

“Nope, no icebergs at all, just Jaws, lots and lots of Jaws. Big hungry sharks everywhere, and just in time for shark week, I love shark week.” Lash said happily. Jace let his shoulders sag and sighed.

“You just had to mention sharks, didn’t you?” Jace groaned, sinking down into the nearest chair.

“Oh come on, it be okay, we not end up in the water.” Lash told him, yanking him up from the seat and propelling him down closer to their terminal.

“How can you know that Lash, you can’t know that, dad should be here with us, or Uncle Cole, or somebody, they are sending us to die on our own, I know it.” Jace said dramatically.

“You need get grip, or drugs. You need get drugs so you no be scared to get on ship, how you wrestle if you scared?” Lash asked him.

“I’ll wrestle just fine because I will be scared to death and that will make me wrestle harder just to get the hell off that floating coffin.” Jace told him.

“You need be more confident.” Lash told him. “Mr. Batee no send us some place to drown.”

“That’s it, might as well write our obituaries on the flight. Lash, Batee hates us, he’s prolly down there in scuba gear right now, cutting a hole in the bottom of the damned ship. The only thing that would make it better is if he could somehow get our whole family, plus Chris Ross on the god damned ship. Hell, if that were the case, I’d be willing to bet he’d stand on the shore as we were sailing away and fire a damned rocket launcher on the boat just to be sure that we’d go down.” Jace ranted, panting and taking deep breaths when he was done.

“You need drink less caffeine, you too jumpy.” Lash said as he sat down beside him.

Jace scrubbed his hand down his face, especially as Lash pulled out a damned container of bubbles and a wand and began to blow them in a rapidly drifting cloud.

“Will you stop that?” Jace growled.

“No, I have to use them before we fly, if I no use, then I have to throw away, throw away be like waste.” Lash said reasonably.

“It ain’t like booze Lash, its okay to toss out some damned soapy water if you don’t get to finish using it.” Jace grumbled.

“We have time, I finish, you see.” Lash said, grinning maniacally.

To his credit, Lash did finish with his bubbles well before they were scheduled to get into the air, and once he was done, he tossed the sticky wet container in the trash and headed over to the vending machines to get a drink and a candy bar. Forty minutes later, and Jace was frantically dashing around the terminal, desperately calling for his brother. Where the HELL could Lash had vanished to, gods be damned, and what the hell was he going to tell his father if he didn’t find his kid brother.

Here, let’s try this, “hey dad, I lost your other kid!”

Yeah, like that would go over like a ton of bricks. Lash wouldn’t have been surprised if his father would have found some way to shove his hand through the phone and grab him by the throat and choke him to death from two thousand miles away.

Which was why he hadn’t taken out his cell phone and called. His cell phone, damnit, how stupid could a guy get. Jace hit the button to dial his brother’s number and stood against the wall, waiting for his brother to pick up so he could figure out where the hell his brother had gotten to.

Back at the luggage.

“Harold, is that suitcase beeping? It is, Harold, that suit case is beeping, oh my god, BOMB!!!!!” a platinum blond woman in three inch heels yelled at the top of her lungs before attempting to run as far away from the seemingly abandoned bags as possible.

Yeah, like THAT didn’t start a major amount of panic.

Once the first person started running, someone else started running too, and once there was more than one person running, then the next thing anyone knew people were running in different directions, yelling and hysterically trying to find the door while a panicked Jace just tried to find his baby brother before he ended up getting hurt. In all the mass confusion Jace found himself in the doorway to the terminal where he’d left their bags, bags that were currently being avoided like the plague by people would only seemed to point and run away.

What the hell?

Jace was so engrossed in watching them that he didn’t see his brother drift in among the residual chaos and head for the bags, until one of the officers yelled.

“FREEZE!!!!”

“DROP IT!!!”

Lash froze, eyes wide on the officers as the bag continued to beep and it was then that Jace realized he still had his phone in his hand, open and dialing. It might have actually been funny, the look on his face when it hit him just what exactly had happened here, save for the cop who had actually pulled out what looked suspiciously like a tazer and was holding it in his brother’s direction.

“But…but….it’s just a snickers bar!” Jace proclaimed as he dropped the seemingly offensive candy bar upon the floor.

Hours later, the boys were still being detained by security, and the airport was still on heightened security alert despite the fact that the suitcase has yielded only a cell phone, clothing, essentials and bubbles. Meanwhile, elsewhere in the airport terminal, a man was doing his best to get through security and finding it to be extremely difficult. Two female security officers were, at that very moment, going through the contents of his bag, one of them pulling out his boxers and unfolding them right on the conveyer belt, a line of frustrated travelers waiting in annoyance for the same fate piling up behind him.

“Find anything you like so far?” the man asked quizzically.

“Oh yeah,” one of them commented and ran the metal detecting wand down past his rear.

“I don’t wear metal there, thanks,” the man commented, rolling his eyes.

“mmm mmm mmm yummy,” the smaller of the pair whispered to the larger woman. “Almost makes up for having to do all these damned searches today.”

“You can say that again,” the larger woman whispered back.

“Hey dad?” a voice called out, from a middle school kid going in the opposite direction.

“Yeah son.” The man responded.

“Isn’t that Micheal Lennox?” the boy said pointed Lennox out.

Silence, the man seemed to be studying him.

“Yeah, I think it is.” The man said.

“Oh holy shit I want his autograph,” the boy said heading over.

“Watch your mouth son or your mother will have my head.” The man said following.

“Mr. Lennox can I have your autograph?” the kid asked.

“Oh my god Pauline he’s famous?” the smaller guard asked. “you a movie star?”

“Nope, he’s a wrestler.” The kid said.

“A…” Pauline began, then something clicked. “On the floor!” she ordered Micheal, mace in her hand.

“You got a pen?” Micheal asked the kid from the floor where he’d dropped and lay prone.

“Sure do,” the kid said, handing it to him.

Micheal signed the autograph while laying on his belly on the ground, then handed it back up to the kid.

“Thanks Mr. Lennox!” the kid said “Are they taking you to jail?”

“Son that ain’t polite,” the father said.

“I’m just asking cause if they are, this might be the last autograph he signs in a while.” The kid pointed out.

“Well hell,” the man said, passing down a sheet of paper. “Can I have one too?”

“I’m sure I won’t be going to jail, because this was such a big misunderstanding,” Lennox said as he signed the autograph and handed it back. “I have no clue what the hell is going on here.”

More security soon arrived and his bags were gone through with far more scrutiny before he was allowed to get up off the floor.

“Everything seems to be in order here,” the head of the security team proclaimed. “You’ll have to excuse the extra attention today, but the last pair of wrestlers that came through here caused a bit of a panic with a bomb scare.”

“Pair of wrestlers?” Micheal asked, one eyebrow raised.

“Yes sir, pair of younger ones on their way to Vegas apparently decided to have some kicks before they got there. We’re still trying to sort it all out but it’s made for a damned miserable afternoon if you ask me.” The man responded.

“I know this is a strange request, but could you describe these two wrestlers?” Lennox asked.

The guard shrugged.

“Yeah, sure you’ve likely met them anyway,” the guard said. “Pair of brothers, crimson hair, green eyes, one of um tattooed all down his arms, younger one about six feet, older one a few inches shorter. Black mesh pants, black t-shirts, black mesh sleeves, whole goth look right down to the eyeliner.”

Lennox just stands there and starts shaking his head.

“Yeah, I know them.” Lennox said. “And they weren’t trying to play any games with you. Let me take a wild guess. Cell phone stuck in a suitcase or carryon bag?”

Now the guard looked perplexed.

“Ummm yeah.” The guard said, “They left it abandoned and beeping.”

“Yeah,” Micheal commented. “Has someone actually opened the bag and found the phone?”

“Yes, now officials are upstairs trying to contact whoevers in charge of them and figure out why the hell they’d pull that kind of prank.” The guard said. “I swear, every time some wrestler comes through this airport, there’s some shit with cameras going on and all kinds of undue attention that we just don’t need. You guys seriously need to pick a different airport to pull this shit in. Did you know that yesterday, it was some crazy blue haired chick, talking to imaginary animals that weren’t there. She damned near gave one old lady a heart attack as she wandered around asking for her missing Alligator.”

Michael just groaned and shakes his head and mutters.

“Figures.”

“What was that?” the guard asked.

“Oh nothing.” Micheal said. “But I do take issue about your “character issues” with wrestlers coming through your facility.”

“Yeah, yeah, profiling, I know, that’s what this big, scarred, tattooed up wrestler complained about the other day when he and his buddy where trying to catch a plane to Canada, didn’t mean we didn’t find a ton of undeclared rum in the lawyers suitcase. Medicinal purposes my ass.” The guard complained. “ He had to go back and pay taxes on that before we let him through.”

“uh-huh” Micheal grumbled.

“Anyway, you’re free to go,” the guard said.

“Good,” Michael grumbled as he started packing his things. “And if you don’t mind, I’d like to see the pair you’ve got detained.”

“Ech, okay, they ain’t going anywhere for a while.” The guard said. “I’m sure they’ll have a message or two for you to carry.”

“We’ll see,” Micheal muttered as he followed the man through twisting corridors till they finally reached the security offices where both boys sat looking miserable. When Lash saw his uncle he ran to him and hugged him tight, damned near squishing him.

“I just wanted a Snickers bar!” Lash declared.


“Uh-hu,” Michael gasped. “you can let me go now.”

Lash put him down.

“You responsible for these two?” the guard in the room asked Micheal.

“Well, that’s a funny question in itself.” Micheal began “But I am one of their guardians, yes.”

“Well they caused a hell of a panic this afternoon,” the man said.

“It was a misunderstanding Uncle Mike,” Jace began. “I was looking for Lash and when I couldn’t find him I dialed his phone and then the bag started beeping and some lady yelled it was a bomb and then there was just chaos. We didn’t abandon the bags, I just didn’t take them with me when I went looking for him.”

“Uh-huh, it’s called a lack of common sense.” Micheal told him.

“Sorry,” both said, hanging their heads.

“Yes well, we’ve issued fines to both and if you can sign these papers, you’re free to take them out of here, preferably for them not to come back.” The guard grumbled.

“Where are the papers,” Micheal said. He soon had them signed and the three of them out of the airport.

“Man, I am so glad you found us.” Jace said when they were outside.

“Sometimes you just have no idea what you’re getting yourselves into, do you boys?” Micheal asked them.

They shook their heads.

“Guess we’ll have to find another way to Vegas.” Jace said.

“ohhhh Can we have jet?” Lash asked him.

“Why the hell would I trust you two with my jet?” Micheal asked.

“How about ride in Jet, you take us there, we have go get on jet then go get on boat and go cruise shark week.” Lash said getting all wound up between happy and excitement.

“Shark week?” Micheal asked.  “Would you please decipher what this boy is saying?”

“Basically, the Vegas region is putting on a PPV and we gotta defend our titles against a pair of Elvira wannabes named Raynin and Gothika who have said what amounts to fuck and all respectively gearing up for this thing. To top it all off, the PPV is on a god damned cruise ship, which Snickers boy over here happily pointed out wouldn’t sink like the titanic since we wouldn’t be in the Atlantic, but that we were gonna be in the Pacific filled with sharks, and he’s happy about that cause it’s just about shark week.” Jace translated.

“Ahh,” Micheal said in understanding at last. “I guess that makes some sort of sense. “

“So ummm, can you take us there?” Jace asked.

“So let me get this straight. Because the two who are supposed to be keeping an eye on you aren’t here, I gotta get you two to Vegas to get on this ship so you can defend your titles?”

“And party like rock stars!” Lash threw in.

“Okay, enough of that, never, ever say that again.” Jace said.

“Party.” Lash began.

“I’m warning you….” Jace told him.

“Will both of you…” Micheal began

“Like…” Lash continued.

“Lashiel…” Jace said threateningly.

“Rock Stars at Shark Week!” Lash yelled with glee.

Jace just sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“He ate three snickers before he found me.” Jace said with a grumble. “My only saving grace was they weren’t skittles. Remember his seventh birthday?”

“Yeah, we just finished paying off the damages from that.” Micheal muttered, shaking his head and walking away, so the boys follow him.

“Damn,” Micheal grumbled when he saw they were still there.

“So….” Jace began.

“Please please please.” Lash said. “We gonna beat the vamp ladies and then see sharks but you got get us there, cause dad and Uncle Cole had go to old Montreal, something about a guy and a bar.”

“Least it wasn’t a guy and a horse.” Jace muttered.

“True that,” Lennox said. “I guess we’re going on a trip.”

“YEY!!!” the pair said, happily pouncing their poor long suffering uncle as the scene faded away to black.

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