Into the Void - Post-Match
“When I first came to Sin City Wrestling, I could’ve never believed that this would happen…”
These were the happy words that I was expressing to my sister Adrianna as we met back at my Saxon hotel suite in the hours following my historic win over Roxi Johnson.
“If someone came up to me and told me that I would even be a champion at all in this company, let alone the SCW Bombshells Internet Champion that I’ve been, I don’t think I’d even believe them. I knew when I first arrived in this company that I was going to be facing the toughest challenges of my whole career and it seems like no matter who they throw in front of me, I’ve been able to beat them.”
Adrianna was beaming with pride in her face as I ran down my reign.
“Kate after I had just beaten her, Maki in a match that was in her favor, Seleana at High Stakes, just to name a few.”
“It’s funny because recently, you had been attracting a scant few haters in the locker room trying to besmirch your reign. I won’t name names, but you did have a few of them try to say that you haven’t actually defended it against actual competition.”
I wasn’t all that amused that Adrianna brought this up, but at the very least, I was able to scoff at this.
“I guess all of those people that were on your ass for ‘not defending against real competition’ can officially shut the hell up now, right? If Roxi’s not ‘real competition, then I don’t know what to tell those haters.”
“I’ve never focused on them, not one bit. Having this reign and doing everything that I’ve ever accomplished, I never gave an ounce of attention to them because I know aht in the long run, paying too much attention is bad for me. But that’s that. This is different. I’m going to have a three hundred day championship reign!”
Finally, the reality of that situation began to kick in. Not only was I beaming with pride on the inside, I was filling up with sheer joy. It was the closest to the kind of happiness you could ever have in this business that you’d experience if you were to win a world championship that you could possibly imagine. That happiness was only growing as I continued to reflect on the magnitude of what I had just accomplished.
“It’s not just the longest reign in the history of the division anymore, it’s something historic. I’m going to be the first woman in Sin City Wrestling history to have a 300 day title reign. What’s more is that I’m only going to be the second WRESTLER PERIOD to have that milestone. It’s incredibly unreal! I’m not so sure if there’s anything else I can do with this championship at this point…”
I took a pause and let out an exasperated, but happy, sigh. The reality of it had sunk in at this point and I was also doing what I had to do to stay humble and not lose sight of why I do what I do in this business now.
“Worry about the next chapter another time..” Adrianna said with a smile. “This Saturday, it’s a big day for you. You get to close out a chapter of your career that you weren’t proud of on a high note and as coincidence would have it, your 30tth day as the Bombshells Internet Champion and your Hall of Fame induction fall on the same day. How amazing is that?”
“It has to be one of the best coincidences I’ve ever had in my career. But damn, it’s going to be so awkward to go back to GCW after all of the awful things I had done back there while I was working for that company.”
“If you just be who you are, you’re going to be just fine. Believe that! Don’t worry about what you’ve done. Just focus on being what you are: and that’s one of the best damn wrestlers in the world right now that has become one hell of a role model for what the wrestling industry can be. Don’t forget that!”
My sister and I exchanged a hug at this point and she would leave the suite for a while. This left me alone with the SCW Bombshells Internet Championship that I was able to retain earlier in the night. I sat down with it and took a hard look at the title. My reflection was bright, front and center in the nameplate and all I could feel was joy and pride.
“What a hell of a ride…” I reflected for a brief moment. “...yet, I have a feeling that even with all of this, the best is still to come….”
From this moment on, all I could think about was GCW. All I could think about was the damage I had done there and how I was far from a model citizen. But it wasn’t necessarily the negative that I was worried about, it was the question of how I was going to end the most controversial era of my career on the highest of notes possible…
May 29, 2021
For the first time in nearly three years, I was back in a GCW locker room on the night of my hall of fame induction. The feeling was incredibly surreal, for better or worse. The moment that I stepped through the door to get into the hallway, I had butterflies in my stomach as I was completely nervous about how I was going to be received by those in the company. There was that guilt in the back of my mind that was caused by the reality of having to face the damage of what I had done while I was here. I was pleasantly surprised that as I walked through the hallway and saw some old, familiar faces, there wasn’t a sense of bitterness, a sense of hatred or a sense that they didn’t want me to be there. This brought some relief to me because I knew that bygones were clearly bygones. If experiencing that wasn’t enough, when I approached the door to a locker room and entered it, I was in for more surprises.
“I see you two made it…” I told Chelsea LeClair, my former protege, and Clarissa Vega, Andrea Hernandez’s best friend who was also my advocate during the GCW days. Chelsea and Clarissa were standing by a monitor, going through a slideshow of some GCW memories. Still, they both took a pause from what they were doing as they came to greet me. Chelsea was the first and we exchanged a hug.
“I told you I was going to be here, did I not?” Chelsea asked with a smile.
“Hey, Utopia ran roughshod over GCW for better or worse…” Clarissa reminded me. “It’s fitting that all of us are here on a night like this.”
“Utopia…” I said with a chuckle, remembering the old GCW faction that Chelsea, Clarissa and I were all a part of. “So many regrets there. That faction was just awful for GCW. We did so many awful things together. I guess that’s why it feels awkward. I don’t want to say that it sounds like we’re celebrating something evil but…”
“Hey, bygones are bygones…” Chelsea reminded me. “It’s as clear as day that here, it’s all water under the bridge. I’m just happy we could all make it…”
“Not all of us…” I said, as I rolled my eyes. “...unless… Clarissa… were you able to get through to Andrea?”
Clarissa shook her head, showing some regret.
“She just wouldn’t budge. Anyway, you want to look at some old memories with us?”
“Sure!”
All three of us were focused on the monitor as Chelsea clicked through to the next image of the slideshow. It was all of Utopia standing tall at a GCW event and the memories came flooding back.
“There we are…” I began. “All of us! There’s me being the leader. There’s Clarissa being one of the best managers in GCW history. There’s Sedona Sky: Andrea and Chelsea, being the best damn tag team that the division had to offer. And then there’s him…”
I took a regretful sigh as I saw the image of myself kissing a man in the middle of the ring as we stood with Sedona Sky and Clarissa. Regret filled my heart at this point as I was lamenting another consequence of the awful person that I was.
“Adrian…” I said with a sigh. “I loved him. A part of me still does. It really felt like the perfect match, especially after Ricky. The two of us caused so much hurt to so many people, even you two and Andrea.”
It was at this moment when doubt began to fill my mind as to whether I really deserved to be in the GCW Hall of Fame.
“I have done so many good things and changed my ways so much since I left GCW, but that doesn’t erase the fact that I was such a terror while I was here. Do I even belong here? Do I even deserve to be here?”
“You do…” I heard a voice say. I was in for a big surprise when I saw my ex-husband Adrian Waters, who himself was going to be inducted into the GCW Hall of Fame, standing in the room. Chelsea and Clarissa were themselves surprised. It was the first time that I had seen my ex-husband since we had gotten divorced and I just did not know how to feel about this. I had a different set of butterflies in my stomach as Chelsea and Clarissa realized it was best for both of them to leave the room. Chelsea shut the door as they left, leaving me with the one person that had caused so much damage and destruction along with me.
“Hey…” I said nervously. “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”
“Yes. It has.”
I went to sit down as a part of me was really worried about what was going to take place. But to my surprise, he went and sat down next to me.
“I’m sorry…” I said to Adrian. “...I’m sorry that I was so toxic to you.”
“You don’t need to apologize.” Adrian said. “It did go both ways. I should’ve helped you snap out of your own darkness and not only did I not do that, I enabled it.”
“It feels so weird to be here knowing everything that we’ve done: all the careers that we shortened, all the lives that we ruined, all the drama we caused here, all the times we slapped the business in the face doing what we did. I’m getting inducted to a Hall of Fame where I’m known for being the most evil person in the company while I was here. I know Andrea is being a bitter, immature person and holding a grudge years later, but she did make a good point. All of the awful things we’ve done… especially me… and I didn’t contribute a damn good thing to this company or this business while we were here….”
“Are you sure about that?” Adrian asked me. This was a question that he’d always ask me to challenge me while we were together. “I know that Utopia was not the most beloved thing in GCW history. I know a part of you feels very guilty about your time here even as you’ve redeemed yourself since you left. But I don’t think you can honestly say that you didn’t contribute a good thing to GCW while you were here…”
“The last world championship I’ve won was here… and I only won because someone else interfered. How can I be proud of that? How can I celebrate that? Name ONE good thing in GCW that I did….”
“You’re talking to one right now…”
Adrian’s revelation caused me to widen my eyes a bit.
“I learned plenty from you while you were here. You certainly showed me how to be a better wrestler. You certainly helped me in many ways become a more complete performer. GCW wasn’t really noticing me all too much before I met you but when you took me into Utopia and you showed me what you showed me, and when I became one of the best in GCW in my own right, there wasn’t one person that couldn’t notice me. I’m becoming a Hall of Fame member tonight myself and you did play a huge role in that.”
“You make a very good point.”
“I don’t think of our failed marriage when I think of you, Myra. What you did for me and what you did for my career is what I think about. You want some more good things? What about Chelsea and Andrea?”
“Oh my god, I tortured the hell out of those two…” I reflected.
“But they still learned from you…” Adrian reminded me. “Andrea became a North American Champion here in GCW and would be one of GCW’s biggest stars right now if she didn’t leave a few years ago. I can’t stand her, personally. I think the bitterness she holds over GCW is childish nonsense, but I can’t deny her talent. I can’t deny that she’s become one of the best in the world since leaving GCW. You can’t tell me that she would’ve become a main event star if she never met you. Before she met you, she was floundering in the Indies in the shadow of her family, remember?”
“I do…”
“And Chelsea… sure, what you did had a big impact on her in the worst way. Sure, it caused her career to fall for a while. But she overcame that. She became a huge star and a world champion in her own right. She too has become one of the best wrestlers in the world. She was just a stupid, Hollywood wannabe blonde who could hardly wrestle, but you took her under your wing and you really made her into a wrestler. Doesn’t the fact that she’s here tonight say something? She’s grateful for the good things that you brought to her career, just like I am. She’s not holding the bad things against you here. Nobody in GCW is. Regardless of how you did it, you made an impact here and you made plenty of amazing memories here. You were a huge part in making three completely unknown wrestlers, including myself, stars in this business. That’s why you’re here! Don’t you think THAT is something worth celebrating?”
I offered a smirk at first as I began to have a warm feeling in my heart. Seeing things from the perspective that Adrian was bringing certainly helped me view the Hall of Fame induction tonight in a whole different light. For so long, I had tormented myself with complete guilt over the way I had been during my time in GCW and it was Adrian giving me one hell of a therapeutic guidance of sorts that was pulling me out of the rut. I wasn't feeling guilty about being in the GCW Hall of Fame, I was feeling happy. I wasn’t dreading my speech tonight due to the fact that I didn’t know what I was going to say, I knew exactly what I had to say now.
“I’m so glad you put it that way, Adrian. I wasn’t a model citizen here, I know that for a damn fact. But that doesn’t take away from anything I accomplished here. Jazmyn had told me that I shouldn’t focus so much on the negative, but to celebrate the positive. Tonight’s an example of exactly what she was talking about . I’ve got this! I’m going to face what I’ve done, I’m going to embrace the positive, I am going to celebrate my contributions to this business that I made while I was here instead of killing myself for the bad. I’ve got this, Adrian. And I’ve really got you to thank for that. After all these years, it warms my heart to know that you’re still there for me even though we’re not married anymore.”
“It’s the least I can do for all of the good things that you’ve done for myself and my career…”
We exchanged a hug after this and it was an incredible feeling knowing that even though Adrian Waters and I weren’t married anymore, that at the very least, we could still be incredible friends.
“Welcome back, Myra!”
“Thank you!”
“You’re going to kill it out there…” Adrian said with a confident smirk on his face… “...just like you always did in GCW… just like you’re doing now in SCW.”
“Thank you again!”
Adrian and I had parted ways at this point and I was left alone with a completely refreshed and far more positive perspective on things as they pertained to my GCW career. In my heart, I knew that as soon as I went out there and made what I was beginning to feel was going to be one hell of a Hall of Fame speech, that I was going to give a chapter of my career that I had long regretted the most positive ending imaginable…
Later that night…
Walking backstage after my speech, I felt a great sense of pride, of joy and relief. Gaining that closure with Global Championship Wrestling was without question something that I took so much happiness in. Walking back through the hallway, it didn’t take me long to see Clarissa and Chelsea there, ready to greet me.
“Congratulations…” Chelsea said to me as we exchanged an embrace. “...that was an amazing speech and I am so humbled by the kind words that you said about me. I just wanted you to know that despite our differences in the past and despite your sins and wrongs that happened here, I will always see you as the measuring stick for what a professional wrestler should be. I will always see you as the bar that I want to meet in my own right for my career. Without you, I wouldn’t be anything in this business!”
“I appreciate that Chelsea, I really do! But, I do want to give you a little word of advice.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
“Don’t see me as the bar that you want to meet. If you want to see me as a bar, or a measuring stick or anything like that, that’s fine. I’m going to tell you something that Scott Lockley, my trainer, told me. Don’t settle for just meeting, aim to exceed. I know you have everything that it takes to exceed the bar that I set. Believe me though, I plan on raising that bar even higher for you by the time I’m done wrestling…”
Chelsea and I both exchanged a laugh as I moved on to Clarissa. We exchanged a hug as well.
“You were amazing during the Utopia days, you know…” I reminded her. “It wouldn’t have worked without you.”
“Thanks for that, Myra…” Clarissa said to me. “I’ll never forget when you contacted me to be a part of it. I wasn’t doing much with my own career. I was sitting at home, being a mother mainly. I was honored that you decided that I was going to be a part of this. I’m very excited to see you so happy. When it comes to GCW, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you THIS happy. Just remember, GCW was a chapter that you got to learn so much from. Had you not made the mistakes that you made along the way, you wouldn’t have become the wrestler that you are now in Sin City Wrestling. Everything happens for a reason and I’m glad to see that the big picture is starting to become clear to you now.”
“It very much is….”
I paused, letting out a relaxed breath and feeling quite happy that the GCW burden that had been on my shoulders for years was finally gone.
“I don’t know about you two, but I still want to celebrate tonight…”
This brought a positive reaction from Clarissa and Chelsea and it wasn’t long before we both began to walk down the hallway. It wasn’t long before I had left the building with a smile on my face knowing that the chapter of my career that I had regretted for so long finally had the positive closure that I had been starving for, for so many years. And yet, the Hall of Fame induction wasn’t the only thing that I was celebrating…
June 1st, 2021
“To perhaps the greatest wrestler that I have ever known…”
Hearing the slight Southern drawl of my lifelong friend Jazmyn Rain say these words brought an eyeroll out of me, although in a playful manner. There was a huge “300” banner that was hanging from the ceiling in the living room of Jazmyn’s home in Charlotte, North Carolina
“I don’t need THAT superlative, Jaz…” I said with a laugh as I grabbed my glass of wine to take a sip.
“I said it before, and I ‘ll say it again. I wouldn’t have become a wrestler at all, much less the wrestler Id’ become in GCW, if it wasn’t for you. When I was coming up in this business, you trained me, you believed in me, you mentored me, you showed me how to be a real professional wrestler. In GCW, as an enemy, you brought the absolute best out of me and you taught me what it was like to be a true champion in this business. I get that you want to be humble and a good role model and all that, but I’m always going to see you as the best wrestler I’ve ever known. It’s okay, I get that you’re tryin’ to not let it get to your head and everything…”
“I appreciate that…”
“And I appreciate the fact that you lived up to your promise!” Jazmyn said with a laugh, reminding me that I had promised her that we’d be celebrating, just the two of us, had I retained against Roxi Johnson and made history as the first Bombshell in Sin City Wrestling to ever achieve a 300 day title reign. “You deserve to have this and I’m glad that I could make this celebration happen for you. I know you put me through a lot over the years, but I really just want you to be happy and I really just want you to be at your best. In my heart, I have that warm, fuzzy feeling knowing that someone I’ve never stopped caring about has truly found her peace and her place in professional wrestling!”
“It took a lot of stumbles and falls to get there, as you know. Of course, you know how I roll. Once this celebration is over and once I wake up tomorrow morning, it’s going to be right back to the grind. I’m going to have my first match since Into the Void and while all of the celebrating with this and the Hall of Fame was nice, I can’t let this get to my head and I can’t let someone like Lucy Seraphina step into that ring with me and pull a shocker on me.”
Jazmyn gave me quite the perplexed look, though in a bit of a humorous way. She was clearly in disbelief over the fact that I was such a workaholic when it came to professional wrestling.
“You’re chompin’ at the bit already…” Jazmyn said with a laugh. “Gosh, Miranda. Wrestling is not just in your blood, it’s in your DNA. Right back at it, huh?”
“Yeah…” I said with a smirk. “But that’s TOMORROW! Tonight, I just want to have fun with my best friend. It’s as pure and as simple as that. I can continue to be the best Internet Champion that I could possibly be tomorrow. Three hundred days and counting. That’s unreal. I don’t think there’s anything better than being the best Internet Champion that Sin City Wrestling could ever ask for. I can’t think of a greater accomplishment for my career right now.”
“I can think of something…” Jazmyn said with a wink.
“What’s that?”
“How about meetin’ that goal for your 20th title?”
“That would be nice, but right now, I’m focused on my 19th title reign.”
“I get it…” Jazmyn said. “It’s the best title reign you’ve ever had in your career and you have every reason to be proud of it. But… how about that goal of being a five time world champion?”
“All in due time…”
“How about having both of those goals happen at the same time?”
“That’d be wonderful… poetic in a sense…”
“So why don’t you start chasing those goals tomorrow?”
Jazmyn’s suggestion really caught me by surprise. I was in denial about it, but the warm smile from Jazmyn indicated that she had nothing but good intentions in mind.
“What are you saying right now, Jaz?”
“I’m saying that I think it’s time…”
My eyes widened further since that was confirmation that she was saying exactly what I thought she meant.
“Your internet championship reign has been amazing! Nobody’s going to deny you that. But after beating Roxi Johnson, who the hell is left that can challenge you for that title? Andrea? She’d be good, but we both know she doesn’t really want to ‘settle’ for your title because she’s a conniving, ungrateful, self centered whining little BITCH who needs to get over herself…”
“JAZ!” I said with a shocked gasp on my face, largely because Jazmyn wasn’t known for using profanity being that strong willed, good natured, Southern girl at heart. “WOW!”
“Sorry, I got carried away! But honestly, who’s left? Keira? She hasn’t looked so hot lately. I don’t think Lucy’s a contender. Christina’s not looking so good with all the crap she’s been through lately. Can you name someone off the top of your head that you can think of as a viable, legitimate contender?”
“No…” I said, cringing quite a bit. “I can’t. I know someone, anyone, can step up. But, I don’t know. You do make a good point.”
“So why not go for it all then? Why not declare yourself ready to be world champion? Because the truth is, Myra, you ARE ready to be a world champion. You’ve BEEN ready to take that next step. I know this wasn’t something that ever crossed your mind, but in my opinion, and in the opinion of others, you’re a main event player in Sin City Wrestling now. Don’t you think it’s about time to tsake that next step and finally maximize your potential to the fullest?”
“You are so right, Jazmyn. I AM ready. I KNOW that I can take that next step. I FEEL like a main event player in SCW already. It’s just… it feels wrong to chase the world title while I’m still the Internet Champion. It would feel like I’m using my title as a stepping stone and that’s the last thing I’d ever want to do.”
“Is that why you were in the Blast from the Past tourney?”
“That was more of a sentimental thing… you know? I knew it was no guarantee that I’d have the same window next year so I had to take advantage of the moment while my window of opportunity was there.”
“So why can’t you do that now?” Jazmyn’s question really caught me off guard, but I knew that she had a point. “I get your feelings and yeah, some would see it as wrong to chase the world title while you’ve got the title that you do, but you know what else is wrong? Holding yourself back from where you know in your heart you deserve to be. You know what else is wrong? Being happy where you are when you have the window of opportunity to go further. Just think about it, okay?”
“I will. You make some good points. You’re absolutely right that my window of opportunity is now: when I’m wrestling better than I ever have in my career, when I’ve just made history, when you look up and down this roster and you wonder who is worthy of a world title shot and of that group, who is the most worthy of it. I’m ready, Jaz… I feel it. I feel that starting tomorrow, that’s something I can think about… and that’s something I can aim for…”
“Good! That’s the Myra I’ve known for most of my life! But,l like you said, that’s tomorrow! Let’s celebrate tonight, okay?”
I nodded with a smile and before long, Jazmyn and I continued to celebrate my accomplishment in Sin City Wrestling of becoming the first Bombshell ever with a 300 day championship reign. From this point forward, I knew in my heart that it was truly time to go for it all now. The next day, this conversation stuck with me and I began to contemplate exactly how I was going to make things happen NOW, when my window of opportunity to be a world champion again seemed closer than ever…
June 4th, 2021
Back in Miami, I was down in my basement, where all of my accolades were physically located. I was smiling and beaming with confidence as I stood in front of the latest accomplishment that I had done in my career: that being my 300 days as the Sin City Wrestling Bombshells Internet Champion. I had commemorated this with a poster that said “300” with my holding the championship in the background and everything was in a bright, neon teal color. Holding the championship over my shoulder, I basked in the glow of the accomplishment a bit before I began to express my thoughts.
“300. I could’ve never imagined it. At Climax Control, I will definitely talk more about it. Hell, I think such a historic achievement deserves a celebration to share with the fans and that is exactly what I am going to do. I am going to keep my best material for that night but to give you a taste of what I am going to talk about, I’m going to touch upon that subject a bit. I am eternally grateful to Sin City Wrestling for giving me a chance when it seemed that I had burned the final bridge of my career with my own stupidity and my own moronic ego. They didn’t have to sign me. They didn’t have to give me a chance. Hell, they didn’t even have to interview me and send some scouts down here to Miami to see if I could still ‘go’ in the ring. But the stars aligned and here we are. Without question, my reign as the SCW Bombshells Internet Champion is the best reign of the 19 that I’ve had over my long career. When I came here to SCW, I came here with a purpose. I came here to defy my age and to defy expectations. I was told that at the age of 35, as I was at the time, I was ‘too old’ to be a first time member of the best women’s wrestling roster in the business. I was told that I was going to wash out and be the biggest flameout in the Bombshells division this side of Alice Knight. I proved them wrong and proved that not only did I still ‘have it’, in spades and with flying colors I should say, not only that I was at the peak of my career, but that I was STILL getting better. That’s MY comeback story in a nutshell and again, on Sunday, I’m going to get into it more, but what’s YOUR story, Lucy Seraphina?
You too have decided to attempt a comeback in this business through Sin City Wrestling and with you, it’s even more direct because you were in SCW before. I know what you’ve accomplished. You were a Bombshells tag team champion before the division became mixed, and you’ve even held my championship before. The Angel Clan was once a dominant force of the tag team division and that’s something that I can appreciate being a four time tag team champion in my own right. You, like me, were a Blast from the Past finalist. Unfortunately, when I see your career in the grand scope of things, when you take that into account, your career honestly feels like one that could’ve met its full potential, and yet it didn’t. You WERE Internet Champion before, winning it from Amy Marshall and don’t get me wrong, that is one hell of an accomplishment being able to defeat a hall of fame name like that for a title. But… with all due respect? That was almost six years ago… and you only held the title for a month, never to hold it again. Perhaps there will be a day where your potential shines through and you finally achieve the pinnacle of what you’re destined to achieve in this business, but that day isn’t going to be Sunday. I’m not basing that opinion off of what happened six years ago, I’m basing that opinion off of what’s happened with you since you returned to Sin City Wrestling.
Blast from the Past? First round elimination.
You had a match against Roxi at a supercard recently. You didn’t get it done. You were in that same gauntlet that Roxi won and you couldn’t win that. If that wasn’t bad enough, you were the first one out of that gauntlet. Someone who at one point, was feared and respected when she and the Angel Clan were dominating the tag team division has sadly been reduced to just another face on the Bombshells roster ever since she decided to make her comeback. When you first entered that gauntlet, you were dominating left and right! But it was fleeting and you were out on your ass and just like that, it was over for you. I hate to say this Lucy, but that performance is honestly a microcosm of your entire career as a Bombshell. I know the narrative: you come in, you flash so much potential, show so much hope, so much promise but ultimately, that hope, promise and potential is rarely met. You want to prove that you can be a dominant force, yet for whatever reason, you just… don’t! I don’t say that to be mean and I don’t say that because I’m overlooking you or anything because you’re the LAST opponent I’d ever want to overlook. I’ve always been honest, even if it’s sometimes brutal. The point that I am ultimately trying to make here is that you always had the potential to come back to Sin City Wrestling and do what I have done and I think it’s safe to say that you’re not even close. Sure, Sunday can BE the start of that for you, but I won’t let that happen… not when I continue to strive and be the best that I can be… not when I have big dreams and big goals in mind even as my history making title reign continues….
The whole picture here, Lucy, is that we both started on the same path on our SCW journey. We were both looking to make some form of comeback. We were looking to both prove that we can be better than we’ve ever been. I’ve clearly done that in spades while you haven’t come close and I’m going to tell you why that is, Lucy. I’ve always wanted this. I set out to become the absolute BEST that I can be and from day one, I have shown all the heart and all of the passion to go along with that promise, that hope and that potential to achieve stars that at one point were unreachable to me in my own mind. You? It just seems like it’s run of the mill to you. You may say that you want it, but it doesn’t FEEL like there is any FEELING or MEANING behind those words, especially since it hasn’t translated into any form of success for you so far ever since you came back. You walk in here expressing one thing but internally feeling the opposite. You express confidence at times, but you don’t actually FEEL confident and it’s these little words and phrases that I’ve observed you say since you’ve come back that really supports this. When you came back from Blast from the Past, one of the first things that came out of your mouth was how you were wondering how many people doubted you and how many people were going to say that you weren’t going to make a dent in your second run here. That right there shows a supreme lack of confidence, Lucy. If you’re so confident, if you really feel that you’re capable of achieving things that you want to achieve, why are you already worrying about what other people are saying about you? Why, right out of the gate, are you already feeling like you need to validate yourself to someone? When I first came here, I NEVER felt that. I knew that I had to prove myself here, sure, but I never, ever expressed doubt that I was going to succeed in this company. You HAD the need to answer to anyone, but why DO you feel the need to answer to anyone?
Look at the main event this week with Alicia and Amber. They are two of the harshest critics on this roster. They are two of the most unfiltered people on this roster. They say exactly what is on their mind and they don’t give a fuck if they hurt your feelings. The first time I faced Amber, she was FAR from nice with me. She was harsh. She said some things that were definitely true about me, truths that I had to face and own up to if I was going to succeed here, but not ONCE with her, did I EVER make excuses for my mistakes. You know what I did with her criticisms? You know what I did with the harsh, twisted truths she said about me? I owned them. I didn’t run from them. I didn’t try to make excuses for them. I owned them. I never felt the need to answer to her. I didn’t feel the need to have any form of validation from her because the only person that I needed to have validation from was ME! She had her shit she wanted to say about me and I didn’t give a damn.The same with Alicia, in fact. Sure, it was to a smaller extent than Amber, but I never felt like I needed to prove anything to her. All I had to do was go in there, BOTH times, against both women, knowing that I only had to worry about me and I only needed to focus on what I needed to do to win those matches and win those matches is exactly what I did.
You on the other hand?
The gauntlet comes around and you’re talking about how you have the most to prove. You’re over there worrying about Alicia underestimating you. This run in Sin City Wrestling hasn’t done you any favors and now, who the hell knows where you’ve been lately because ever since that gauntlet, hardly a peep, if any, from you. This match on Sunday is a big opportunity for you and you don’t have a damn thing to say? Where’s that passion? Where’s that hunger? Where’s that desire? Did Alicia eliminate all of those things too when she took you out of the gauntlet? Or is this a deeper issue where none of that has ever been there with you? I guess lately, the “Sovereign of Silence” is one hell of a fitting nickname for you. I mean for god’s sake, it’s to the point where you don’t even bother to show up to Climax Control if you’re not booked. If I walked in here with the same attitude that you’ve carried yourself with since you’ve come back, I’d probably be long gone from this roster by now. Ultimately, Lucy, the reason why you haven’t been successful in this company since you’ve come back is because that passion and dedication isn’t there and the reason for that? It’s because deep down inside, you’ve given up and I hate to say that, but it’s true. Someone like you who has been reduced to ‘arrive, wrestle and leave’ like you have since you’ve come back, has long given up and is going through the motions now.
I could’ve done the same thing after I had my first loss here. I could’ve just given up, mailed it in, gone home to Miami and decided that the critics were right. But I didn’t do that. I didn’t give up. I do the one thing that you’ve clearly forgotten how to do at this point and that’s to keep fighting, to keep pushing, to keep sight of your goals, to keep pushing for those goals no matter what adversity comes your way. You’re dealing with someone that has gone through SO MUCH in this business, much of that self-inflicted, admittedly, but who every step of the way has endured adversity after adversity. You think Blast from the Past at the end wasn’t a gut punch for me, Lucy? Because it was. Had it been YOU going to the finals, had it been YOU in my spot having to endure that loss, you wouldn’t have been able to handle it. But as difficult as it was for me, I was able to handle it and I was able to overcome it . I was able to retain my Internet Championship long enough to have my dream match against Roxi, but not only did I win that match against her, I made history too! I rose up from the adversity and did what no Bombshell has ever done before, but with you, for every single setback you have, you seem to dip further and further into the shadows. The scary thing is, that could’ve been me at any point in my Sin City Wrestling career, but thankfully that wasn’t the case. That’s because I’m so much stronger than that. My love and passion for this business, the dedication that I inherited from my mother, being a superhero of sorts for my daughter and knowing exactly what I am capable of in this business has always carried me through any adversity no matter what and I know that in that ring on Sunday, we’re going to have a match between someone who has one of the strongest senses of ambition in this business against someone who hasn’t had ambition in Sin City Wrestling since the Angel Clan was a thing.
And speaking of ambition…
You think I’m just going to stop at being a record breaking Sin City Wrestling Bombshells Internet champion? I’m going to let you in on a secret. I won’t. Because for all that I’ve done with my championship, I know in my heart that the time is arriving for me to REALLY reach for the stars and in my soul, I know for a damn fact that I am ready for it. I’m stepping into the ring with you on Sunday knowing that you’re going to be that first step toward reaching for the stars now. You’re going to be the first chapter of this phase of my journey to reach my fullest potential ever and by the time it’s all said and done, I will have further validation within me that I am ready to take that big step toward my fullest potential. I’m not resting on my laurels Lucy, and for you? That spells nothing but bad news and nothing but further doom and gloom on your journey once I defeat you and continue my own.
With great confidence, I walked over to the camera and shut it off. Once that happens, I reflect on my journey and everything that I’ve done. While I reflect on it with pride, honor and happiness, I could still feel my spirit burn within me. This deep burn within me reminds me that as I walk into my match with Lucy Seraphina that there is still more to do before I can consider my own journey complete...
