I had just retained my championship at My Bloody Valentine moments ago and I was seething with anger as the men’s world title match was on. I was obviously still bitter that it was another sausagefest main event on a supercard, which in and of itself was annoying. But what was more annoying was my mother on the other end of the phone as she had called me as soon as she gave me time to breathe from beating Alexandra.
“What were you thinking, Julianna?” she asked me, as I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Great, you won your match against Alexandra and kept your title, but going after Kayla Richards like that? Are you kidding me?”
“I can beat her too, mother…” I said, clearly with an angry tone in my voice that was enough to make my mother silent for a moment.
“I know you can, honey. But, calling out someone before you had even defended the title… that’s dangerous…”
I shook my head with disgust as I didn’t want to deal with my mother’s nagging at the moment.
“You realize that had you lost to Alexandra, you would’ve looked really stupid, right?”
“You’re calling me stupid now?”
Now it was my mother sighing.
“No, I’m saying you would’ve because you were getting ahead of yourself. Why would you even think of doing such a thing?”
“You want to know why? I’m not happy with my title reign.”
“Come off it, honey. You’re doing a great job with the title.”
“No I’m not…” I said, almost in denial.
“Have you lost the title? Have you lost a match in SCW yet?”
“Mom, if I was doing such a great job with this title, I wouldn’t have people like Kayla Richards taking potshots at me literally every single time she opens her mouth about me and I wouldn’t have idiots saying ‘nobody cares about you’ and I especially wouldn’t have challengers just move on like nothing happened. Yeah, I won but my two best title defenses are Bella and Alexandra… not exactly world beaters, are they?”
“I agree that they’re not challenging you enough but you’re doing the most with what they’re giving you.”
“Bella and Alexandra aren’t exactly Myra and Andrea mother…” I said with a sigh in reference to two of the more dominant Bombshells that once wrestled in SCW in recent years. “It pains me that those types of women are my ‘best defenses’ because as far as title readiness… I don’t know… in my heart, I feel like I can do better than those two. It even feels like people in this company are rooting for me to lose which makes it worse…”
“...I doubt that’s true…”
“Oh you should’ve listened to the idiots on commentary after my defense against Bea overreacting and predicting I’d lose to Alexandra just because my match with Bea was ‘close’. That’s had me down. Kayla’s bullshit chirping has had me down. It’s a testament to what I am capable of as a wrestler that I keep overcoming all of this. Kayla being a coward has basically pushed me to the edge…”
“It doesn’t matter what she thinks! It’s what you…”
“Save the speech, mother. What matters is that I get her in the ring and shut that bitch up! If that’s what it takes to break the men’s main event supercard streak, then so be it.”
“Just be careful, okay?” my mother suggests, much to my confusion.
“Be careful? Mom, I won today. It’ll be fine.”
“I fear that you may be playing right into Kayla’s hands by going off on her like that tonight. I’m sure she would’ve earned her title shot against you anyway, but you can’t let someone like that get to you. You know how things can snowball in the worst way when you let one person get in your head too much…”
“That was the OLD Julianna, mother…” I said with frustration. “Good night…”
I hung up the phone and I glanced back at the men’s world title match that was hogging up my spotlight. I shut the monitor off still feeling quite bitter and massively unsatisfied.
As much as Kayla’s chirping had really gotten to me on top of everything else, I knew I had to face her eventually…
And that Alexandra HAS to be the last “below par” title defense…
Next Day…
Liam, one of my best friends from wrestling school and who pulled me out of the slumps when my mother threw that surprise celebration for me, was to meet me for lunch. I was alone at the table as he hadn’t arrived yet and on my phone, I was watching the Bombshells Internet Championship match. I shook my head watching Courtney get pinned to lose the title and I had a sudden, glum feeling…
“She kept calling me a nobody and repeatedly said I didn’t deserve the title shot…” I reflected. Upon thinking about my reign so far and how unhappy I was with it, I came to a shocking thought that I couldn’t leave my head. “What if she was right?”
“Hey…” I heard Liam say to snap me out of my melancholy feeling. He sat across the table next to me and before long, our waiter came to get our drink order. Once he left, Liam broke the ice.
“Awesome job last night…” he said, his compliment barely registering with me.
“Don’t say that…” I said, snapping at him and catching him by surprise.
“But…”
“I’m not meeting the standard of a world champion, honestly…” I said, with a bitter chill going down my spine. “...and don’t even THINK of saying otherwise.”
“I don’t think that’s true, but if you don’t want to hear that…”
“Liam, please let me vent for a minute.”
My phone was paused on a screen capture of Courtney being pinned by Tempest and I exited the screen feeling anger toward the stupid bitch.
“Courtney… the bitch I beat for my title… I hate to admit it because she’s really worthless in the grand scheme of things, but her words from months ago got to me more than I let on initially. At first, they didn’t. But… when I retained against her in the rematch the way I did, when my defenses against Mercedes and Bea went the way they did… I’ve had to increasingly fight off the ‘reality’ that maybe Courtney was right all along and that I really don’t deserve what I have. Being the champion in the conditions I’m dealing with is SO much harder than I’ve made it look. I just feel like all I’ve done is prove her right…”
Liam continues to listen.
“You know… I get shit on for shit that SHE never got shit on for and that’s… SHIT! I get the blame for the men main eventing the supercards when that nonsense started with HER reign. People criticize me WAY more than they were criticizing HER when she was the champion. Then she goes and wins another title and she shits all over it, like it means nothing. I know I meant nothing to her because of how she repeatedly kept calling me a nobody…”
Liam wants to reassure me, but I cut him off.
“Liam, please. No compliments. No reassurances. No matter what you say, I’m not going to believe you.”
“Fair, Julianna. But, please do what you need to do to believe the good things people say about you because you are deserving of treating yourself better and being far more positive of how you feel about yourself.”
Finally, I could smile as I felt a warmth in my heart.
“Thank you for saying that. You’re right. I’m trying. Reconciling with the past has been a hard journey for me and I should know better than to let someone as vapid and empty as Courtney Pierce or anyone else in that locker room drag me down to their level. I’ve got some feelings I’ve got to let out, but not right now. The waiter is coming to take our order by the way…”
The rest of the lunch with Liam went well, but what he said at the end really stuck with me. As my journey to figure out the champion I am capable of being continued on, I knew I was in a situation where once again, I had to face up to a past event and/or a past person that tried to anchor me in order to grow, learn about myself and move ahead.
Last Sunday…
The journal was open again as I sat near the sink of the bathroom. But this time, things were a little different. I wasn’t writing to my younger self or just venting in general. I was putting a former grudge I had in SCW to bed once and for all…
“Courtney…” I wrote to the bitch I won the title from.
You are a delusional, vapid, supercilious EMPTY CUNT!”
God, that felt AMAZING to finally let out.
“Nobody…
Among all the other things you said about me. Considering your downfall since I took the belt from you, all the shit you had to say about me meant NOTHING! They never did! Prior to our title match, I never did a damn thing to you, but you just decided to be a JUDGMENTAL CUNT just because I mentioned you by name in like my second promo. All of the problems with my reign are really because of YOU… because I’ve had to pick up the ball YOU dropped while you were champion. I am PASSIONATE about what I do! Unlike you, I show up to TV every week. Unlike YOU, I GIVE A SHIT about this division.
I am a strong, beautiful woman that has blossomed into a hell of a wrestler that has the whole world ahead of her still and what I’ve had to overcome in my reign is a testament to that. YOU on the other hand, were a one shot wonder BITCH who dragged down the division and is THE REAL REASON why the men are always main eventing the supercards. I’ve faced adversity like the way my first two defenses ended (trust me, I HATED that) and I’ve continued to make the most out of the hands I’ve been dealt with as champion.
You? You take home a ‘consolation prize’ and bury it because it’s not the belt you want and then take your damn ball and go home.
But I’M the ‘nobody’, right?
The only difference between you and Krystal Wolfe is that the title you won was the big one but otherwise, you’re both a couple of one reign wonder bitches who are deluded into thinking they are so much better than they actually are. You’re no fucking better than she is. I suppose beating her next Sunday is catharsis because it’s closing our chapter for good. You will ALWAYS be wrong about me! You do NOT get to define me or my reign and that goes for everyone else like Kayla or Krystal that wants to talk shit. Whatever issues we had were always YOU, not me. How fucking DUMB was I to say that you were the reason I arrived in SCW.
I’m through being down about my reign because of people like you and Kayla and because of the way our rematch ended. Since you and Krystal are one and the same for the most part, beating her might as well be beating YOU again.
We can debate about my credibilities as champion all we want, but at least I KNOW how to be a champion… unlike you…
Krystal can blame you for what’s about to happen to her in seven days as far as I’m concerned…
With that, I slid off of the sink and walked over to the toilet. I ripped up the letter I just wrote to her and let the pieces fall into the toilet before I flushed it (and any bitter feelings over that empty, horrible woman and how her words put a damper on my title reign and my own self-worth for a while).
I took a deep breath and instantly felt relieved knowing that I can move forward and that no matter how things went, I was NEVER going to prove that bitch right and that neither her, Kayla or anyone else on the Bombshells roster was ever going to define my worth as a champion or form a dark cloud over my head ever again.
Later…
“I’m sorry mother…” I told her as we talked on the phone later. “...I was being snippy with you because I wasn’t believing in myself, or in my title reign, well enough. I’m basing how I feel about myself and my reign on how other people think of me and circumstances out of my control like the idiot bitches that were interfering in my early title defenses… that and this fear of being a failure that you know I’ve always had…”
I let out a sigh and even paused for a bit as I wondered if my mother was going to say anything back. Once I realized she wasn’t, I kept going.
“I’ve thought about my reign a little bit better and… sure, things can be better but you’re right. I should give myself far more credit for what I’ve been able to make of it in spite of all the obstacles it’s dealt with even if I didn’t get the main event of the supercard last week. That’s it, I guess…”
I waited a little more as some of the guilt with how I treated her the week before was starting to melt away.
“I appreciate that honey…” my mother began. “I understand that someone in the spot that you’re in would have it very hard right about now with everything, especially since you were thrown into the fire with the world title so soon in your SCW run. I understand why you lashed out at Kayla the way you did. Don’t let her, or anyone else, get to you, okay?”
“I should’ve learned that lesson after Courtney instead of feeling like I was proving her right, but I get it now. But, this reign can only get better for me and I can only continue to push until I prove that I am the champion that I know I can be. If I can get Kayla in the ring and beat her in the main event of a supercard, then I know I won’t ever have to be insecure about my title reign again. She’s getting a message loud and clear next Sunday… against someone that not only doesn’t deserve to be in a match with me at all, but also someone that reminds me WAY too much of… well… my younger self and not in the best way…”
“Yeah, Krystal is reminding me of where you were 6 years ago, I’m not going to lie. But, you’ve got this honey. You know I will always believe in you. I’m so glad you’ve grown up over the years because holy crap, if you didn’t, you would’ve ended up just like…”
“Let’s just say I’m glad that I’m not her, okay?” I said with a laugh. “Love you, talk to you later!”
After we hung up, I was definitely on the rebound. With another part of the past, albeit a more recent one in Courtney, being reconciled, I was back on track to progressing forward on this self-empowerment journey that I’ve really needed for years…
March 1, 2024
When the camera came on, that anger was boiling in me again. It wasn’t about my title reign at this point though, but when I thought about Krystal Wolfe, that fire in my heart was just raging. I already knew going in that I didn’t like the woman at all and then having to face her in the ring was something that while I wasn’t looking forward to necessarily, I knew it was an opportunity for a statement. Notably, I was wearing a “Drowning Pool” t-shirt, obviously to make a point.
Time to put this walking identity crisis named Krystal Wolfe in the damn scrap heap…
“I am going to start off by making a reference that someone like Krystal Wolfe would understand. See this shirt here? You remember Drowning Pool, right? ‘Let the bodies hit the floor…’ and all of that? Yeah, as you should know if you’re a metal fan, Drowning Pool was a one hit wonder. They had their one song, their one moment, and they were never able to replicate that. You know why I bring up Drowning Pool, Krystal? Because let’s be honest with each other. You are the ‘Drowning Pool’ of the Bombshells division right now! YOU, Krystal, were a one hit… or I guess in this case… a one REIGN wonder. You had your so called record breaking Roulette Championship reign a few years back… and that’s IT… and that reign was three fucking years ago and yet, you want to act as though you were entitled to the main event scene and that you should get chance after chance but the fact of the matter is, Krystal…
You aren’t entitled to ANYTHING and you sure aren’t worthy of being in the fucking main event scene let alone going up against someone like me. You may have heard, but I’m starting to get sick and tired of sharing the ring with the likes of you. Kayla might as well be the one true challenge I have yet to face in this division, I will be the first to admit that because YOU, Krystal? What kind of challenge are you going to bring? You had ONE reign… ONE… one that wasn’t even GOOD because you never got to the next level during your reign or after your reign and because after that reign came and went, you were tapping out to the likes of decrepit ass Samantha Marlowe! You STILL talk about your Roulette title reign like anyone should give a fuck about it, but tell me why I should give a fuck about it when it was three years ago, when you haven’t been a champion in this company ever since and whenever you have the chance, deserved or not, to take the next step, you NEVER do? WHY should I give a shit about that Roulette reign when nobody even remembers who you beat while you were champion anymore.
No seriously Krystal… who the hell did you beat while you were champion?
Char Kwan?
Who the FUCK is Char Kwan?
You need to make like Jessie Salco and realize that you are what you are and that you peaked during that reign. You can deny it all you want, but the fact of the matter is, when you lost that championship, you lost your identity. You don’t even know who you want to be in this business but you’re going to walk into this match against me most likely thinking that you’re going to be the one that ends my undefeated streak in this company and pull out a massive shocker!
NOT! ON! MY! WATCH!
Because Krystal, you’re THE definition of the little engine that NEVER WILL!
And the worst part is, you do this to your damn self because you try too hard to be relevant in the grand scheme of things. I swear, in the past year, you’ve bounced between being ‘infested by a demon’, some redemption tour, a relapse that had you acting like basically the same bitch you were acting like while you were ‘infested by a demon’, then some wordy, complicated nickname about nightmares or something… you’re a FUCKING MESS, let’s put it that way!”
I take a pause and let out a frustrated sigh before I continued on.
“Six years ago, I was like you. I was the one that was saying and doing stupid shit to get hated just for the sake of being hated and trying so hard to be relevant only to be a running joke that was laughed at all the time. I tried SO HARD to get to the next level at that point in my career and I was always falling down and being everyone else’s stepping stone to the point where one company or two I used to work for at that time wasn’t taking me seriously at all. But you want to call Luna the ‘butt of everyone’s jokes’ when everyone on the roster has been laughing at you for how long?
Yeah, I don’t BLAME the roster for laughing at you…
Not when you’ve only won 4 out of your last 10 matches…
Not when the last time you actually won a singles match was LAST YEAR when you pulled a horseshoe out of your ass to beat Luna and the only win you’ve had since then… PERIOD… was when Tempest was carrying you on her back in that tag match.
Not when you went into massive opportunity matches like the Golden Briefcase and the tournament final against Bella Madison and lost BOTH of those matches….
But you think you can be a main event contender in spite of that because of some ‘record breaking reign’ that nobody cares about anymore. Let me paint you the BIGGEST REASON why it’s like groundhog day for you when it comes to big matches like what I just mentioned and why you keep losing them over and over again…
Ego and massive overconfidence has something to do with that yes…
But the BIGGEST REASON why you’re a CONSTANT CHOKER these days?
You’re a FUCKING HEADCASE and I don’t mean that in any good way at all. Have you even bothered looking in the mirror lately? I mean for fuck’s sake, how many nicknames and identities have you taken on since you lost that title? You hold yourself back in your own mind because you’re too busy getting yourself involved in trivial bullshit nonsense that SHOULDN’T matter like this STUPID THING with Luna about which city in Australia is better, or whining about how the whole roster is wanting to see you get your ass kicked, or bitching about how everyone got on your ass for being a sore loser TWO MONTHS AFTER THE FACT, or whining nonstop about Georgie Robertson and constantly and openly bitching and asking about when she’s going to cash in her stupid briefcase. I mean lord, I could’ve sworn she was also in that Internet title match two Sundays ago… which you of course lost by the way… with how many times you kept bringing her and the damn briefcase up.
You want to know how many times I’ve mentioned Georgie Robertson in 2024 in the context of when she’s going to cash in the Golden Briefcase? ZERO! You’re over there obsessing with her over a title that you haven’t even WON that she MIGHT cash in on while I’m minding my own business. During my matches with Bea and with Alexandra, I wasn’t thinking about her at all but NO, YOU’RE constantly worrying about her… and you wonder why you just can’t get to that next level that just may be too high for you to reach. Let me circle back to the ‘sore loser’ thing…
And that pitiful excuse that you made for it…
‘I was frustrated’... you said… as you threw away your stupid ‘post-SIN path of redemption’.
You call it frustration… but how is it frustration when you literally behaved the same way after you couldn’t win the Golden Briefcase match and how you were mocking Bella Madison for losing to me, STILL being on that sore loser shit two weeks after the fact? It wasn’t frustration, Krystal. It was you showing your true colors to the point where it CLEARLY wasn’t you being infested by a demon, it was you being the bitter, angry, jealous bitch that you are because deep down inside, you really have turned into the next Jessie in terms of never being able to reach the pinnacle of this company and not realizing that your ceiling is far lower than you thought it was. Hey idiot, if you want to redeem yourself for your wrongs maybe… I don’t know… DON’T MAKE THE SAME WRONGS ALL OVER AGAIN?
It’s funny how you were talking about being on this path of redemption and then you lost that match to Bella, then the true colors came out after everyone else, including me, rightfully called you out on your shit. But hey, the most delusional Bombshell on the roster humorously think she has the right to call Courtney Pierce delusional.
Don’t get me wrong, she IS delusional, but someone like you doesn’t even have the right to point that out considering you’ve spent months and months, if not years, walking around the locker room and posting your social media shit acting as if you are far superior than what you actually are. You seem to have blindly acknowledged this yourself when you went into that four way talking about how you were the one person in that match with nothing to lose than more of your pride…
…yeah, you’ve fallen on hard times and even YOU know that and clearly, everything that you are doing with the constantly changing nicknames and monikers kind of makes sense because you’re clearly desperate for ANY grasp of real relevance….
I mean, when you’ve fallen so far down the ladder that pride is really all you have left to lose then you clearly have collapsed… so that tells me that you’re going to come into this thing desperate for a win and thinking that you get to use me as a stepping stone back to this faux relevance that you had when you were the ‘record breaking Roulette Champion’. If you don’t even know what kind of wrestler or a person that you want to be, then how in the world are you in any sort of mental capacity to even win against me at all? Deep down, you’re feeling like the piece of shit that you actually are and you’re willing to do anything to be a champion again. And you know what the sad thing is, Krystal? It is entirely possible, if not PROBABLE, that you will never hold a singles championship in Sin City Wrestling again. What leg do you have to stand on? The Golden Briefcase?”
I scoffed at this joke that I made before I began to wrap up what I had to say.
“It’s ironic… you being such a sore loser about that match when it wasn’t a match you deserved to be in, in the first place.
Hell, when it came to that four woman tournament in which you lost to Bella Madison… honestly? What were you even DOING in that tournament? You went in there and beat Luna and suddenly, you were thinking that you had a free ticket to face me just because Bella had never beaten you before up until that point…
Then you lost that match and you choked in a big match opportunity again just like you have done every single time since you lost the Roulette Championship. Face the facts, Krystal. You peaked with that title reign and that title reign wasn’t even THAT GOOD or THAT MEMORABLE. So, here’s the score for this coming match and I want you to listen to this part real good….
What happens Sunday is going to play out exactly like it would’ve had you won against Bella: in which I defeat you and I move forward to be the best champion that I deserve to be.
You’re going to lick your wounds and go back to the drawing board just like you always do and you’re going to see whether you’re able to come up with yet another new gimmick or another new nickname or another new ‘thing’ to move forward with.
And me? Personally? I am going to send a message to the damn Bombshells locker room that they are DONE with their shit about me! I am going to make it very clear that I have no more patience for their hypocrisies, their lack of ambition, or their jealousy toward me. You get to be the one to deliver that message, Krystal. That’s all the worth you have for me, if we’re being honest. I have had it with facing the same old, same old. I’ve had it with facing bitches that don’t even deserve to be in the same ring with me. I’ve had it with ungrateful, passionless challengers that don’t grow or evolve, I’ve had it with challengers that face me and waste the damn PRIVILEGE to not just have a shot at my title, but also the PRIVILEGE of being in the ring with someone like me.
YOU, Krystal, are going to be the final straw as far as the lack of respect I get around here from just about everyone in this god forsaken division! Because I’ll say this… my title reign will NOT be defined by the fact that I’ve had to deal with people like YOU that could never be good enough to even come CLOSE to winning my championship… especially from me!
It’s high time I step up and NOT have to deal with idiots like you who don’t know what their glass ceiling is! Well no worries Krystal…
On Sunday? You WILL realize exactly how low your ceiling is and FINALLY realize that you truly ARE the new Jessie in every worst possible way!
So quit trying to make yourself HAPPEN… you as a main event player WILL NEVER HAPPEN!"
I angrily shut off the camera and take a deep breath, realizing just how sick and tired I’ve become of being in the rings with the likes of Bea, Mercedes and Krystal…
