Forgiveness?
Sitting on the front step of the nursing home my brother had driven me to I leaned back on my hands, enjoying the warmth of the sun on my face. A subtle vibrating and the tune of Edge of Glory by Gaga starts to play. Reaching for the cell phone in my pocket, I look at the number then press the answer button.
“Hello,” I say, my voice pleasant for the most part as I listen to the voice on the other end. “I have a match this week…against who?” Again, the voice on the other end rumbles an answer. “Okay, gotcha, will be there.” Shutting off the phone, I pocket it with a sigh.
“You’ll be where girl?” asks a voice behind me, surprising me. Rushing to my feet, I turn to find man in a wheelchair looking at me. His skin is rough and burn scarred. He coughs slightly then nods in my direction. “I asked you a question, where will you be?”
“Vegas sir,” I respond, proud that my voice isn’t quavering like I thought it would. “I’ll be in Vegas, wrestling.”
“Wrassling? What the hell do you think you are doing wrassling? You are better than this Victoria,” answers the man as he pushes at the wheels of the chair to move closer.
Instinctively I move back slightly, the little girl in me still frightened of this man. Squaring my shoulders I take a deep breath and level a look at the man. “I am a wrestler and I am great at it,” I reply. “I have been a champion and I will soon be again…sir.” I can’t quite keep the anger out of my voice but maybe that is a good thing as I see the man curl his thin lip into a grimace of a smile.
“So you ain’t cryin’ anymore are ya,” he offers with a chuckle that turns into a cough. “Good, toughened up so your dear old dad could be proud of ya.” Resting his hands on the arms of the chair, he gives me a look that I return coldly. “I bet ya wonder why I asked ya here. Since I ain’t ever seen ya since you was a little girl. I’m dying and well, I wanted to say that I was sorry.”
Were my eyes deceiving me or did he just seem to shrink in the chair a little? I tilted my head slightly, doubting his apology. “Sorry…you want to say sorry? What makes you think I am going to accept such an apology? The last time I saw you was the night that you…” My voice fades as my hands ball into fists. Sucking in a long drawn breath I release it slowly before continuing. “The night Moms died. The night I promised to stop crying Colonel.”
“Victoria, I’m your father, call me Dad,” he says.
“You are my father, sad as that is, but I won’t ever call you Dad. You don’t deserve it,” I say with conviction. “And you don’t have the ability to tell me what to do with my life, which means that I will be in a match in Vegas for Sin City wrestling against Bianca .”
“Is that right missy?” my father demands. “Guess my little Victoria Xenia has grown up huh?” The man tries to straighten up in his seat but collapses back down into a slight heap. I cross my arms as I watch him, a look of concern quickly moving across my face that I fight to hide unsuccessfully as the man chuckles. “I want you to know that you grew up good. Maybe better off without me. So I understand missy, don’t like it but I do understand. Just remember when you think of me, I did love ya.”
Before I can reply, he wheels the chair around and presses the button to open the door, disappearing inside after one last look in my direction. Once the doors close, I angrily scuff my boots in the dirt of the drive and mutter a few choice curse words in French before twisting and heading towards the truck. My brother exits just as I kick the fender.
“Hey, gentle on the vehicle,” calls out my brother as he rubs a hand on the truck. “I saw Dad and he said that you are okay even if you won’t forgive him.”
Getting into the truck, I pointedly ignore him as I hunch into the seat and cover my eyes with my glasses. I was hiding from the fact that I might just feel a bit more than anger with the Colonel. My brother climbs into the cab and guns the engine then pulls away from the nursing home.
Final thoughts
The night of Climax Control was quiet for me as I sit on an equipment box, relaxing and rolling my neck as I prepare for my match in a little bit. I get a smile on my face as I am approached by a cameraman who asks me if would mind talking about my match.
“Sure I wouldn’t mind talking about the fact that tonight I am facing Bianca Solderini,” I say slowly. “I just want to say that tonight is going to be a fight that she isn’t going to be winning at all. See, I have something to prove to myself tonight and that means I am going to be taking it to the next level.”
Getting to my feet, I stretch out my back and then begin to stretch out the rest of my body, preparing for the match. I can just barely make out the sound of the crowd as I continue to speak. “Tonight Bianca thinks she is going to make me lose, like she has some kind of ability to make me fall in the ring. Tonight I am beginning my climb back to the top of the division so I can challenge for the Bombshell title once again. I’m on a mission and that mission starts in the ring with Bianca.”
Suddenly, the sound of the Climax Control theme begins to play as the cameraman rolls his finger across his throat and then thanks me before rushing off to the arena bowl. Looking after him, I can only shrug and chuckle as I turn towards the locker rooms and catering.
“Guess he got what he needed,” I say outloud to no one in particular. “Good thing that Bianca isn’t here, she’d probably be laughing her butt off at how fast the cameraman left.
