How in the hell did I get in India??.
August 12th 2022 “Pete? We just could have booked a normal airliner, you know? Just like every other civilized human being!”Says Senor Vinnie as they step inside a small airplane, somewhere unbeknownst to the modern world. It surprised Vinnie that there was something that remotely looked like a strip for a small airplane to land from or to fly away from. He turns his attention back to the airplane, reading a sign on it that reads: “New Delhi flying, you are the fourth passenger that stepped foot inside our flight of heaven.” This didn’t eased Vinnie’s concerns, but he shrugs it off. Thinking that at least they had some flights from this place and it sure must have been successful as well. Vinnie pushes Pete into the plane first, before following him inside. Once inside he notices two old chairs, not quite what he is used to from flying first class around the world. He notices that there are two old car seatbelts hanging loosely around the arm rests.
“Well at least they got those…”Vinnie mutters underneath his breath as he takes a seat next to Pete, who had sat down on the smaller of the two seats. Vinnie bumps his head to the ceiling of the plane, realizing that he apparently is too big for the plane with his 6’8 frame.
“Great, how long am I supposed to sit like this??”“The flight itself is 5 hours sir, we do need to land somewhere for refuiling and that will take another hour.”Vinnie’s eyes widen, he attempts to turn his head towards the direction of where the voice came from. There he sees an Indian man sitting on a folding chair with a stewardess hat on top of his head that is a few sizes too small. The man is poorly shaven and is missing a few front teeth as he attempts to give Vinnie a polite company policy smile.
“You mean I got to sit like this during a flight of five hours??? Isn’t there any possibly way that I could alter this position?? I mean, I don’t want a herniated disk in my neck you know??”“Certainly sir, all you have to do is…”The Indian gets off his folding chair, walks over and pulls on the armrests of Vinnie’s chair, this causes it to fall into a complete horizontal sleeping position.
“There you go sir.”Says the Indian while turning back towards his folding chair while Vinnie is now staring at the sleeping chair that is in front of him. He ultimately turns his attention back to the Indian steward and asks.
“Isn’t there a position you can put the chair in that’s between the seated position and this???”“Of course sir….”The two men work on getting Vinnie into the least awkward position from to sit in, while not being forced to fly on the plane as if he is sleeping on a massage table. Ultimately they put the chair back on the original position as Vinnie had managed to get a foot rest so that he could lower himself a little on the chair.
“Obviously not the most comfortable way to fly, but it sure beats the feeling of being crumbled inside small area like sardines.”Vinnie says while looking over towards his cactus friend, who is trying to get some sort of signal on his smart phone to play a game. Vinnie rolls his eyes and shakes his head, clearly Pete has got himself into another situation that the cactus did not think through but decides to ignore it and turn his attention back to the steward.
“I forgot to ask, but what is your name???”He asks when his gaze is upon the folding chair where the steward had seated, but now he notices that the folding chair is upright and no one is seated upon it.
“Oh fuck, the guy ran out of the plane!!!!”He says as his eyes widen, sweat is pouring from his face as he believes something terrible is going to happen. But suddenly we hear a cracking sound coming from in front of him, causing Vinnie to look around as he sees n old fashioned speaker supported above a small door.
“No need to worry sir, I just stepped inside the cockpit of the airplane. Preparing for our lift off in a few moments. Please if you desire beverages or something to eat, please wait until we are in the air as then I am capable of taking your order.”This causes Vinnie’s eyes to widen even more as he realizes that the pilot is also the steward on this flight.
“WAIT!! Are you telling me that you are the only one besides us on this airplane???”There’s a moment of silence before the crackling sound can be heard once more.
“Uhm sir, you did book this flight didn’t you???”Vinnie turns his attention for a moment towards Pete, who not so surprisingly pretends not to notice the situation as he is gazing through the window.
“My friend over here apparently forgot to mention that….”There’s a moment of silence coming from the speaker, before the crackling sound emerges once more as the Indian pilot/steward starts to talk once more.
“I understand completely sir, but yes. I am the pilot, the steward as well as the man that will have to refill the airplane as well as entertain the children where needed. I am also a licensed cook, I put on the movies for our audience for viewing pleasure as well as many other duties that requires me.”Vinnie’s eyes widen, he needs time to let the words sink in before swallowing hard.
“You are also the cook?? But how can you possibly fly and cook food at the same time?
”Mentally Vinnie decided to scrap ordering anything to eat, not wanting to endangering himself as well as Pete or the pilot during the flight for making something to eat.
“Quite simple sir, I will fly above the clouds and fasten the steering wheel with my walking stick, in the meantime I am going to cook a pot of curry for you.”“YOU WHAT???!!!”The sudden reveal of the pilot of doing something rather dangerous to leave a plane directed towards one direction without any focus of having to worry about other planes, mountain peaks or any other possible obstacles. This causes the sweat to pour from Vinnie’s pours, realizing now that getting out of the plane is too late as they have already lifted off apparently.
“No worries sir, you are perfectly safe. I have my pet monkey assisting me to take over the cooking if I am to be needed behind the steering wheel.”“Pfew, what a relie…. WHAT??? A MONKEY??!!”Vinnie had left out a sigh of relief, but once again gets worried over the fact that there’s a monkey on this airplane.
“What kind of monkey???”There’s a moment of silence before there’s laughter to be heard as well as screaming from a chimpanzee.
“There’s no need for worry sir, this monkey has been trained by the legendary Gordon Ramsey. Also if you prefer not to have any monkey spit in your curry then he also could take over the steering wheel.”Vinnie sighs
“Thank you, yes I would rather prefe…. What???!!!!”Again it takes a few moments for Vinnie to let the words sink in, realizing that the pilot was suggesting for the chimpanzee to fly the airplane instead of the pilot.
“The chimp can fly the plane?? But how??”“Well sir, that’s quite simple. This chimpanzee is related to the chimp that was send into space. This chimp inherited all the tricks of the trait.”This doesn’t calm Vinnie’s nerves down, looking over his shoulders in the hope of somehow finding an exit from the plane. But the plane is too high above the ground for him to even consider jumping out, he resigned for him to fly over towards the city where he and Pete has to be at.
“I guess I am in “safe” hands. I saw you had only a hand full of flights, did you just start to fly???”A nervous laughter can be heard through the sound system as it is quickly replied with an answer
“Not really sir, we only had just a handful of flights because… we uhm…. How should I put this….”Vinnie raises an eyebrow to the reluctant response from the pilot
“We had a few small accidents, where either a wheel broke off or where an engine blew….. But nothing….”“WHERE AN ENGINE BLEW??? Oh my goodness and you are allowed to fly this bucket of screws???”Vinnie is irate, turning his attention towards Pete. Who by now also has turned its head towards the speaker after hearing what the pilot had to say. Giving Vinnie the realization that Pete had not known about this either, making him sigh over the fact that Pete usually searches the internet for the cheapest flights. This time his urge to save a few more bucks has come to haunt him.
“Well then you better make sure that this is going to be a positive flight, or else….”Vinnie swallows hard
“Or else I may never see Tijuana, Mexico again…..”With that Vinnie drops his head on the chair, his nerves got the better of him as he passes out. In the distance he does still hear the pilot talk to him, unaware of the state where Vinnie is at right now.
Dreams do come true.“Wake up sir! We have landed”The shot opens with Vinnie still asleep, having his head hanging over the pillow, his tongue is hanging out of his mouth while snoring. On the left side we see the pilot pushing him against his shoulders while Pete the cactus is doing the same on the right side.
“Sir!! We need you to pay for the refill!!!”We see Vinnie lick his lips as he is smiling.
“Oh yes, please give me some more cake. I love cake…”The pilot looks awkwardly towards the cactus, then shaking his head as he cannot believe his eyes that he and a cactus are trying to wake up his other passenger. He looks over his shoulder and sees the people he needs to pay for the refill of his airplane. Causing his eyes to grow wider and become more and more concerned, causing him to push his fist upon the chest of Vinnie.
“WAKE UP SIR!!!!”This forces Vinnie to wake up, sitting upwards as that causes him to bump his head into the airplane ceiling and drop back on the seat.
“What the??? Why did you punch me man!!!”He has an angry stare at the pilot while rubbing his chest as he slowly sits up again, he inhales a few times before remembering something that the pilot said
“And what is that crap about me having to pay for the refill??”The pilot looks at the cactus and sighs
“Well your cactus friend had not read the little letters of the contract sir. He decided not to sign the All In option of the flight costs, that is including the cost of the refil. And with not agreeing to that option, you are forced to pay up.”Vinnie sighs as he turns his attention towards the cactus, who at that point had gone back into his seat and solely looked outside the mirror of the plane and refuses to look at his friend out of shame.
“Fine…, how much??”The shot fades to a commercial break for the upcoming Climax Control and Sin City Wrestling’s tour through India. After five minutes the shot returns as we see Vinnie seated on his chair, with Pete massaging his shoulders as Vinnie had demanded that of him after he had paid for the refill. He is smiling while drinking some Tequila and just finished the food that the pilot had made for him.
“A little bit higher Pete.”Vinnie says as he motions towards the cactus that he needs to rub closer to the area between his shoulders and neck. Smiling as he knows that the cactus is desperately trying to repay for his mistake that he had made by booking the flight. He has closed his eyes, the attempts was nothing more than attempts. But he wanted to punish Pete a little for always being selfish, smiling as he knew that the massage wasn’t the only thing that Pete would do for him.
“The plane will land in fifteen minutes sir.”Says the pilot over the speaker, Vinnie smiles. He even had considered asking what the chimpanzee could do more besides flying the airplane and do some cooking, but ultimately decided to not push his envelope. He had a soft spot for wild animals and had told Pete that he had to do a lot of chores during their stay in India to make things up with him. Pete obviously had refused, trying to convince Vinnie that it was a mistake and that he would never do it again. But Vinnie had ultimately decided that payback is a b#### and that Pete had to suffer for this huge mistake. Mentally he had already made a list of chores that Pete had to do, besides the obvious carrying the suitcases and bringing him his drinks he had come up with some other stuff. He started to smile as he thought about one of the first things that he had come up with, becoming his personal air conditioning as Vinnie had already seen him wave something to keep his cool, or cutting the nails of his feet as well as taking care of his feet. Yes, Vinnie had a cruel mind on what he had come up with to *punish* his friend. Vinnie turns his head towards the window on the left that is closest to him. He sees the land underneath the airplane through the opening of the clouds that they are still flying above. He has started to get more excited to visit India, he had seen one of Gabriel Iglesias’s shows where he had started to discuss the similarities between Indians and Mexicans. This had always given Vinnie the excitement to visit this far country where they worshipped cows as holy creatures. This was one of the few things that he had never understood, but was open minded enough to widen his horizon and have himself being educated in the ways f the people in India.
“If Ghandi managed to spread his message of solving problems without violence?? Then I will be able to make a member of the Saviors see the truth through my eyes”He says with a confident smile upon his face, he remembers his battles with the members of the Saviors. He had beaten some, but one member had eluded him in the current World Champion. An now he is facing the man that is the number one contender for that belt, Ken Davieson. The name causes him to get frustrated, he didn’t liked the guy for the mere fact that he is part of that one group named the Saviors. He had to admit, he had not expected them to turn around this dominant, holding half of the singles championship belts in their positions. Vinnie knew that hecould not become number one contender for the world title, but he did realize that if he beats Ken Davieson that he would be back in line for a future nomination. The mere fact that he had not been active as of late since the Summer XXXtreme super card, made him realize that he is not in a favorable situation.
“But one match can make a difference.”He whispers while mentally punching a fist in the palm of his other hand, this causes him to escape his mental thoughts and notices that neither Pete or the pilot had noticed him saying something. He is glad, he did not wanted to be disturbed with stupid questions that would break his concentration. No, he was mentally prepared to go back to war and if the first casualty is a member of the Saviors? Then so be it.
His thoughts return to the man that he is going to face, Ken Davieson. A man that may have not been active for as long as Vinnie had, but has been successful on occasion and has won championship gold. Apparently that was enough for Mac Bane to pick him to be his next challenger, something that the champion has done in the past. It was something Vinnie could respect, but he could not believe that HE had never gotten a one on one opportunity for the gold.
“Ouch!!!”He suddenly feels a stinging pinch on his neck and shoulder region, turning his attention towards his masseur Pete. Staring at his face, making him notice the fact that he believes that Pete is laughing. He rolls his eyes, he could have known that Pete’s rebel nature would rise its ugly head. Vinnie turns his head back forwards, sipping from his glass of Tequila before thinking about his opponent this week.
“Senor Ken, It has been quite a time that I have been in the ring with a Savior that it made me wonder whether I was relevant enough at all at this point. I mean, I have beaten Max Burke at the super card. But we all know that he is no challenge when he has the ability to see, let alone when he is blinded with a hood over his head. But not to sit still with the minors in attendance, let’s focus on the man that will challenge Mac Bane for the World Title.”
“Must be about damn time isn’t it Ken? I can tell that you are all excited and ready to go. So why face Senor Vinnie huh? Well let me tell you something, when I woke up and read the entire card I was like wow. Wow that apparently the company has not forgotten about wrestling TALENT. Now I know, I know that you are going to be telling me that I am far from being a talent these days. Not with standing the world title that I have held. But that’s about it isn’t it?? I have HELD something that I have been trying for several years now to reclaim. And that has been bugging me for so long.”Vinnie’s expression darkens while Pete continues to massage his neck and shoulder region.
“Don’t get me wrong, I will never question a champion for picking his own opponents. I have done it also, sadly I disgraced myself to the point where I know today that decay had been started even prior to that moment. And what I know with decay is that you can do two separate things about it. You either just let it be, ultimately become a nothing in the world that we live in. Or you can do whatever you can to reclaim the position that I once held. AndI can tell by the hunger in your eyes, the same hunger that I have these days… That your hunger is no match for mine amigo.”
“Now obviously that’s a line that everyone will be using against whomever it may very well be. It’s a statement without substance, something that we thrive on to separate the good from the bad. And I am going to be damned to look over my shoulder and realize that I am in a position where I do not belong. And all I can do to stop that situation form occurring, is by beating you amigo.”Vinnie closes his eyes and shakes his neck, Pete had let go as Vinnie is moving his head around from left to right before telling Pete to continue.
“You are someone that has been travelling around the wrestling world from town to town. Trying to establish yourself over and over again in every establishment that you try to make your permanent safe haven. But that’s the point Ken, you are afraid to finally commit to one situation. Because I am very well aware that it may just choke on every single breath that you take. You see Ken, I may not like the guy. But I sure as hell respect the world champion from his achievements inside the ring. I see him as a obstacle that I must take to regain my past glory in this company. Something that you have never experienced before.”
“Now don’t go and cry me a river all over my expensive clothing Ken, screaming from the top of your lungs that I disrespect your career elsewhere. But that’s the key word Ken, elsewhere. Something that does not exist in this company and no Ken, do not refer yourself to lesser titles that mena shit if the only thing that you are concerned with is the world title. And that’s what I am concerned with since even far before I knew that our paths would cross. Because I do not play the way of telling the people the exact things that they want to hear. When I say something, it is becomes it comes from the bottom of my heart. Something that you heartless sons…..”Vinnie closes his lips, not wanting to have profanity escape his lips at the final minute. Knowing the impact these things may have upon the youth. He inhales his lungs a few times before looking back at the camera before starting to smile again.
“You almost got me there Ken, something that I am looking forward to see whether you can get me in that six sided ring. I already send two of your former mates packing, because lets face it. Suma and his then tag team partner were merely a shell of themselves after me and Bill crushed them. And then to have a Hall of Famer wrestler signed away from SCW to your gang is only a moment in a career that will perish eventually. And then there arethose who remain besides Mac Bane. I thought he would keep those closer that needed his love and guidance isn’t it?? Isn’t that what Saviors do?? Orare you all merely filling your pickets and believe the lies that you spread amongst yourselves??”
“I don’t care, because this Sunday. It will be all about Saint Vinnie and you “Godly” Ken Davieson, will be needing a lesson in how to come crashing down amongst us the people. And I will be sending you packing from the moment that your existence comes dropping down before my feet. Enjoy the opportunity to face Mac Bane for the gold… but I should warn you, I am not an opportunity in every sense of the word… so in other words Ken, fight me…. Fight me, because you will need it even more than what you are looking for…”With that Vinnie snaps his fingers, signalling for the camera crew to end as well as the massage from Pete as the shot fades.
