Caleb lost to O’Malley last week on Climax Control but even as the time ticked closer to his match he seemed to have something else on his mind, namely one of the recent debutees in SCW by the name of Tiberius the Great of Elysia, a self-professed holy man from The Isle of the Blessed who had managed to catch the ire of several SCW wrestlers without even speaking a word and it would be Caleb who would be the first one to address him on Climax Control.
It was simple and to the point, Caleb was challenging Tiberius to a match the following week on Climax Control and the bosses were happy to oblige once Tiberius had accepted the challenge booking the two men in the opening match of that week’s Climax Control, Tiberius had won his debut match against Stephan Callaway the previous week and was looking to continue his winning streak but can Caleb end his losing streak?
Hotel gym, Las Vegas, Nevada
Friday the 1st of May 2020, 11:00am
After last week’s craziness I need a return to normalcy, especially considering who I’m facing on Climax Control this week!
Anyone who saw last week’s Climax Control knows what I’m talking about, I issued a challenge to Tiberius the Great of Elysia to a match this week on Climax Control and he accepted, the only thing left to do was wait for the bosses to make the match official and they wasted little time in doing just that booking me and Tibby against each other in the opening match of the night and that’s great because what better way to kick off a Sunday night than to beat the crap out of a holy man?
And now I realize how bad that makes me sound if you take that last bit out of context!
As for why I issued said challenge, I stated as much on the show, for too long the music genre I love has been blasted by so called religious people for being the work of Satan (when they aren’t busy blaming video games for mass shootings or blaming natural disasters on gay people of course) and now that SCW has yet another holy man on the roster (seriously why does wrestling attract so many weirdos?) it’s the perfect opportunity for me to jump to metal’s defense!
Let’s just hope that I never have to explain this to St, Peter at the holy gates once I do pass away!
“You’ve gone from a photoshoot with a rhino and a hippo to fighting a holy man.” Katie commented with a face-palm as I walked Lemmy on the treadmill, I know I said last week that I could only do that for so long but the little pup’s gotta get his exercise somehow. “Even by wrestling standards you have had a weird fortnight!”
“Look I knew getting into this business that I’d encounter some unique situations.” I admitted as I looked up briefly from the treadmill and Lemmy continued on his way without a care in the world. “And even I’ll admit that I never saw the events of last week’s promo coming, my trainers did their best to prepare me for anything that could happen in a wrestling promotion and encountering a rhino and a hippo outside of a zoo was not one of them!”
“And if I was feeling mean spirited, I’d make a joke about Bobbie Dahl right now.” Katie commented as she shook her head before glancing up at the door. “The fact tat there’s a good chance that she could walk in as I’m making said joke doesn’t help.”
“Do you really think she’d risk attacking a non-wrestler?” I asked with a skeptical look on my face as Lemmy apparently got bored of the treadmill because he got off it and plopped down on the ground next to it, it’s not like we’re having him go at high speeds on the thing either, we got it set for the normal walking speed of a human and he still tired himself out as evidenced by his big yawn. “Then again, she did attack Dani Weston literally after she had just returned from injury and managed to reinjure her shoulder!”
“Hence why I’m not taking the chance.” Katie commented before getting on the treadmill next to the one that Lemmy was just using and turned it on. “And hell, you saw that Last Bombshell Standing Match they had at Blaze of Glory.”
“Because nothing says, “biggest show of the year” like “virtually attempting to murder your opponent to win the match”, I swear if they had gotten up after the stage fall, they would’ve taken it to the roof.” I responded as I shook my head as did Katie when she realized that I had a point there, after a while Katie got off the treadmill and took Lemmy’s lead when I indicated that I wanted to get my promo done before we returned to the hotel room and I went to another part of the gym to do just that.
“SCW always seem to get a new influx of talent after a Supercard and not even a worldwide pandemic prevented that from happening! Last week saw the debuts of five new wrestlers but there’s only one that I’m focusing this promo on, the first wrestler to hail from The Isle of the Blessed, wherever that is, Tiberius the Great of Elysia and thanks to the challenge I issued last week we are opening this week’s show with a one on one match!”
This should be good.
“And hopefully I won’t get judged to harshly on beating up a holy man who looks like the biblical depiction of Moses on a Sunday when I do reach the pearly gates! Anyway, as I said on Sunday the reason, I issued this challenge in the first place was because for too long holy men like Tiberius have used their religion to attack the music genre I love, heavy metal! Now granted religion has been responsible for a lot worse things than that, Salem Witch Trials, The Crusades, and that’s just what I can name off the top of my head but we are focusing on it’s unwarranted attack on heavy metal today!”
I added before grabbing my phone and playing “Chalice of Blood” by Forbidden.
“You probably saw on Twitter that I was doing a guitar cover of this song on Monday night but for those in need of a refresher, this song is called “Chalice of Blood” by Forbidden who are one of the most underrated bands from the San Francisco Bay Area Thrash Metal Scene in my opinion, this song is basically a well written religious rant song nut there is one lyric that stands out to me which is why I’m bringing it up, welcome to the church of lies.”
Yeah, I’m going there.
“I’ll admit that I’ve never been particularly religious but in today’s culture of multi-million dollar megachurches and everything that Catholic Church has been up to in recent years the last thing we need is for the church of lies to infect wrestling and unfortunately that has already happened! Multiple times! It’s like I said, wrestling tends to attract weirdos and Tiberius the Great of Elysia is just another in the long line of wrestling weirdos!”
And I will beat him.
“Tiberius, this is more than just a wrestling match to me, it’s about defending the music genre I love and I’m not about to let some holy man beat me in a wrestling match! Oh sure, you beat Stephan Callaway in your debut match, big deal! It’s like Jessie said, that guy can’t win a match to save his life and you demonstrated that last week! But this week you face real competition for the first time and that real competition is going to beat the holy tight out of you!”
And with that I decided to wrap things up,
“Tiberius the Great of Elysia, the first ever wrestler to hail from the Isle of the Blessed, where is the Isle of the Blessed? Who the fuck knows but what I do know is that this church of lies will be closed down after I’m done with Tiberius because there’s a biblical storm brewing and he had better brace himself otherwise he’ll be blown back to The Isle of the Blessed by “The Metal Storm” Caleb Storms, and whilst we’re talking about bible verses, here’s one I found on Google about judging others: why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? Matthew 7:1-5, I’m sure you’ve heard of it!”
I went off to join my wife and dog as the scene fades.
