[The Troll]

Under the Bridge
Wisdom of the Troll

The first shot is a closeup of the Troll’s face from below the neck but as he righted his laptop and fixed the camera angle, all was well. Well, about as well as could be when you were looking at his kisser.

The Troll: Hey yo, everybody! It’s your boy the Troll and I’m speaking to you live from Beijing where they STILL haven’t let us off this cramped plane and into the airport! It’s not like I’m not a VIP and have important things to do! But if they knew that then they obviously wouldn’t have put me back here in coach instead of up in business class WHERE I BELONG…

Passengers: SHHH!!!

The Troll: Oh shush yourself!

He looked back into the camera.

The Troll: You know under most circumstances, I’d be pretty cross for being booked against some loser named ‘Max Steele’. I mean, what kind of name is that for a consummate professional - like myself – let alone a man?

He held a hand up and made a face as if to say “Right?” or “Duh!” all at the same time.

The Troll: As soon as I saw the name, it made me wonder if I was wrestling the star of some cheap 1980s animated series or the touline knock off. You can’t seriously look at that name, let alone the man, and tell me that isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. Well, that or that REALLY bad episode of the Simpsons where Homer changes his name to Max Powers and those stupid lyrics burn themselves into your mind.

The Troll, despite the people crowded around him in the jet waiting to disembark into the Beijing airport, broke into song and quite loudly…

The Troll: Max Steele! He’s the man whose name you’d love to laugh at!
And you have to laugh, because his name is hilarious in your ear!
But if you say it, you can’t show fear!
`Cause his name is funny to everyone!

Stewardess: Excuse me, sir?

The hand on his shoulder and the stern looking woman standing over him broke the Troll away from his scintillating promotional skills.

The Troll: What!? What is it!?

Stewardess: We have asked you three times now to KINDLY keep it down!

The Troll: And if I don’t?

Stewardess: Then we will have you forcibly removed from this jet, that’s what.

Her calm but icy demeanor would explain to anyone that she was not bluffing nor should be challenged. Well, anyone with a lick of common sense but look at who we’re talking about. The Troll sneered at her in response.

The Troll: Yeah, right! I'd like to see you even try. Don’t you know who I am??? I’m a BIG DEAL in Sin City Wrestling so take a hike you glorified air jockey.

The stewardess turned and walked away toward the front of the cabin, as the Troll looked into the camera once again. He shook his head and rolled his eyes.

The Troll: So. Rude. So anyway, where was I? Oh yes! Max Powers - er, Steele. That’s it. It’s like I said, I should be annoyed that I was booked against some nobody, a wet behind the ears rookie who probably hasn’t even graduated the equivalent to the toilet training academy of professional wrestling, am I right? OF COURSE I’M RIGHT! I’m the Troll! But…

He held his hands up in a passive display.

The Troll: I am not without understanding. I get it. Mark Ward and Christian Underwood finally understand what I’m worth to SCW and just how much the fans TRULY love me. So, they give me a working holiday here in Beijing, and in return for my bringing butts into the seats, they’re going to do what’s right. They're going to throw out whatever the hell happened last week between Austin James Mercer and Miles Kasey and enter yours truly…

He did the RVD thumbs to shoulders.

The Troll: As the final participant in the King For the Day match. THIS … is the final qualifier after Kasey and Mercer were tossed a bone and choked on it. I just know it!

He smiled quite smugly with a lilt of the head.

The Troll: So just remember where you were my peeps, on this day when you watched me predict my claiming my rightful place in…

Just then, he was interrupted by a firm hand on his shoulder. He turned to address the stewardess – again.

The Troll: Wha…!?

But whatever else he was going to say was choked on and swallowed in the back of his throat as he found himself staring up at not just the stewardess, but three security officials from the Beijing airport.

Security: Excuse me sir, but we would like to have a word with you.

The Troll turned his head back VERY slowly toward the camera – and whimpered as someone shut the laptop lid.