Session Two: Two Steps forward, one step back
She wanted out of the car.
From the second her mother explained what was about to happen Violet had an uneasy feeling. The last few years had been awkward for her, living with her mother and siblings in a middle class life that was fine for her but hell for her mother had been stressful. Violet Alicia Maxwell, years before she would become Alicia Lukas, had grown up without caring about accumulated wealth or the apparent advantages it had. But her mother, well, her mother had been used to the life.
Barbera Marie Lukas. A woman born into old money of the south, who had given it all up because she fell in love with the wrong man, and was cut off by her family. A proper southern belle who wanted to marry a dirty, loud professional wrestler named Jason. It had ended her way of life, it had destroyed the world she had become accustomed. And that put them in a way that caused so much anger and resentment that Violet never knew what happiness was. That was until Barbera discovered a way to guarantee their social standing.
Arranged marriage.
Something that had rarely been talked about and assumed to have been abolished in the western world was actually still alive and well. Barbera had increased the families lives by marrying a man who had been successful, in a modest way. But to really push their standing up, to get the family name back where it needed to be, well, Violet was the sacrificial lamb. And this drive felt like a lamb being led to slaughter. Dressed in a tight fitting pink and white dress, her hair done in curls with ribbons and forced to wear uncomfortable shoes, Violet had already dealt with the attitude from her younger sister Rose, who would later be known as Zoey Lukas in her own brief wrestling career, until Violet pointed out that after she had been handed off, she would be next.
The streets whipped by, the road changed from something that looked like the suburbs to a more country feeling. Rolling hills and forest cover with plains and large plantations. Violets heart sank, she felt like she was about to throw up, her bright blue eyes moving from the window to her sister who was snoring next to her in the back seta, her stepfather hummed a tune as he drove and her mother...well her mother was the picture of a southern lady. Her hair being worn above her shoulders, curled with black sunglasses on and a dark blue dress. She smiled and sighed happily as Violet shook her head, the sixteen year old debutant that wanted nothing to do with this and she was getting tired of hiding it.
They turned into a large estate, a few men stood at the gate, black suits and sunglasses as some form of uniform as they gave a nod waving the old white rolls royce through ansd to the main house. They circled around a large stone angel with water coming from a small clay pot in it’s hands into the waterfall feature below.
They all got out of the car, Rose looked around, her hands in her pockets, their brother Josh, the middle child had been able to get out of this, being sent away to camp while Rose wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Her step father took Rose to the side moving over to talk to an older man near the door who smiled and greeted him with a firm handshake. Violet growled and turned her nose up as Barbera sighed and turned front on to her oldest child. ”Oh stop sneering. You should be happy. This will set you up for life Violet. You’ll be married and be a woman of leisure.” Violet tried not to show her feelings, but a groan escaped her lips causing Barbera to flare her nostrils and grab her by the arm. ”The Andrews family own some of the biggest sugar refineries in the country. They are worth hundreds of millions. You’ll never have to worry again.”
Like Violet cared about that.
”So? I don’t need any of that. I want to find something I’m passionate about, I don’t want to be some vapid stay at home and smile socialite, trotted out like a fuckin show pony-”
”ENOUGH!” Her mother spat angrily, her eyes widened, her teeth grinding together as she tightened her hand around Violet's wrist pulling her close. ”You are doing this not just for yourself but your family. Now, I am going to take you over there to meet Ronald and his father Derek, and you will be delightful and the picture of a sweet young lady.” She turned and instantly the act was put on, Barbera smiled and waved her hand in the air with a grin taking Violet over to the group. ”Hello!...Derek, Ronald, I would like to introduce you to Violet..my oldest…”
”Hello young Lady, pleasure to meet you...say hello Ronald.”
The younger man stepped forward, his hair swept back, he was handsome, atleast he had that going for him. He had blue eyes, dark hair and was well built, standing about six foot three and looked to be seventeen or eighteen years old. He had a strong jawline and reached out taking Violets hand and bending down to kiss the top of it. ”Pleasure to meet you, Violet’
Violet bit her lip lightly, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. ”Nice to meet you to...Ronald.”
”So you let your guard down?”
She was back in the office, laying on the couch. She nodded slowly as Dr Whitlow jotted a few lines down in her notebook. Alicia sighed heavily and kept her hands clasped together as she looked up. Remembering how she felt almost fourteen years ago as she looked at a man who would be the father of her young children and also her biggest mistake. But at the time, at the moment she first met him, she was filled with something else. Hope
Alicia sat up and pulled her knees to her chest letting oput a deep breath giving a small shrug. ”I was a kid. Sheltered too. I was against it at first but, I don’t know. Rich, good looking and at first he was…” She trailed off and swallowed hard.
”Sweet? Kind? A dream?” Alicia slowly nodded, Dr Whitlow gave a half smile and put her pen down before leaning against her knees. ”Men with predatory personalities often act that way in the beginning, it draws people in. It’s a hunting skill..”
”And I fell for it...completely….how fucking pathetic and stupid was I?”
Dr Whitlow sighed and picked her pen back up writing a few more things down before clearing her throat. ”You were sixteen years old. We were all stupid at sixteen dear. Even me. Not that I can remember that far back.” She shot Alicia a reassuring grin, Alicia laughed to herself and sighed again. ”Focus on that, your age, your future...but, thats all for today….thank you...you opened up...it’s progress.” Alicia goit to her feet grabbing her back, she moved out of the office closing the door behind her and making her way down the hallway to the elevator. As the doors closed and she felt it move down to the parking garage she took a deep breath in before feeling the tears roll down her cheeks.
Progress, as it turns out. Is painful
A dull edge
Being honest with yourself is deceptively hard. Forcing yourself to look in the mirror and admit that maybe you’ve lost a step. That maybe you’re not as good as you once thought you were. This is where Alicia Lukas was in her life. The truth she had to look in the mirror and tell herself.
”I failed. Again. Something that again, I’m not used to. And the last few months that’s all it’s been for me. Failure after failure after failure. And sure, people can point to certain things I’ve done and applaud. Beating Maki one on one in a match of the year contender is something to be proud of. But, after coming back and beating Bobbie Dahl, the woman who put me on the shelf, regaining my bombshells title and getting back to the apex of SCW, as quickly as I ascended, I fell.”
“I watched Keira Fischer Johnson rise up with her own little dream narrative. A story that I believed and got fooled by hook, line and sinker. Her story and her actions made me feel back for wanting to win., to retain the title. And when she beat me I smiled looking at her holding that championship. I applauded, I smiled and I was proud of her and I was happy I lost.”
“Happy I fucking lost. Can you believe that shit?”
“At that moment I should have realised something was wrong with me. I should have stepped back and re-evaluated right then and there. But I didn’t. Shit I didn;’t even take a rematch for the title, I wanted Keira to have that moment in the sun because I believed she earned it. And as quickly as the feeling of pride in her and her accomplishment came, it flew out the fucking window when I saw her make thew title mean nothing. See, I held it and it was the biggest title in the world, I lose that thing and no one can actually keep it at that level. Evie came damn close, then the run of champions we had since then?...
She shakes her head, her heart sinking to the pit of her stomach while anger rises up in its place. Alicia tuts and folds her arms over her chest.
”Hopefully with Amber Ryan we have one that’s worth it. And before I get into my match this week, let me just say something about the match a lot of people seem to want. Amber Ryan versus Alicia Lukas. Believe me, I’m sure it’ll happen. We’ve had other dream matches involving me lately. Maki and Mercedes for instance. Amber and I will step in the ring one day, and the entire wrestling world will stop and watch. But, until then I have other matches and moments to look forward to…”
Alicia turns and slowly sits down crossing one leg over the other. Her hands moving down to grab her leg as it crosses over the other.
”You know, the reason why I decided to give everyone a refresher in what happened with Keira, and the feelings I went through there is because of a situation that happened with Seleana. See, Seleana doesn’t get the respect she deserves. While Roxzi and Keira get to much respect for the kind of people they are Seleana gets overlooked and forgotten. Keira and Roxi are all about themselves and hide it behind the team Hero bullshit. They’re both just as self serving and as bad as one another. But Seleana is someone who overcomes that kind of selfish bullshit”
“Seleana is married to one of the most arrogant bitches I have ever met in my life but instead of feeding into it and trying to hide it like the Johnsons do Seleana goes about her business being herself. And that deserves to be admired. She is a respectful stand up woman who always does her best in that ring and never, never makes excuses.”
“Two years ago, I came into this company and I destroyed EVERYONE. I went against the best this company had to offer and week after week I had my hand raised high.”
She shrugs and laughs to herself shaking her head. The good old days.
”But. In that time and the matches I had there was a a blip in that run. Aside from being beaten by Dani Weston I had also lost to Selena Zdunich. And it was a hard loss. Not because I was beaten by the better woman but because the decision and destiny of the match was taken from my hands. And I looked Seleana in the eye and I told her that she had a responsibility to her own legacy and family to go one on one with me again and put the title that her wife stole for her on the line. And one thing that I will never forget is that Seleana agreed.”
“She didn’t hide, she didn’t make excuses or tell the world I had to earn it or that she was the rightful champion. Seleana looked at me, told me I was right and told the world that she wasn’t the real champion unless she could beat me without Crystals help. That right there told me all I needed to know about Seleana. And you can look back at my history with anyone in this company and you can pinpoint exact moments when my opinion of them changed. You can see it with Roxi, when she refused to congratulate me or acknowledge I was the better woman, you can see it with Keira or Mercedes.”
“But with Seleana it never changed from then on.”
“And it’s for one reason. Seleana is real”
“The Seleana Zdunich you meet on day one, face to face is the same woman you’ll see two years later. And since I came into this company I have smiled every single time I have seen Seleana succeed. Shew wins a big match, becomes a champion and does herself and her family proud and I will be one of the first to shake her hand backstage. So, while I felt bad for wanting to beat Keira, I do actually feel bad when I face Seleana. Because, with the exception of when Crystal interfered….I’ve had her number.”
Alicia sighs heavily and stares off into space as she sits back, uncrosses her legs and pushes her fingertips together in a pyramid, her fingertips touching her chin.
”And it’s not because Seleana can’t beat me. I’ve said it before and I will say it again. She had all the tools to get me. She had all the skills and the drive to get in there and get a win over me. She just doesn’t. And who knows, maybe this time it’ll be different. Maybe this time Seleana will get in the ring and show the world what she is capable of and walk out the winner. But, then again.,Maybe she won’t. Maybe Seleana is destined to never have that big win over me. Maybe she is destined to be like the rest of her family and never get to say they’re better than me.”
“Maybe Seleana will have to go back home, look her daughter in the eye and explain how and why she failed to beat Alicia Lukas again.”
“And while part of me will feel bad, part of me will regret what I have to do, well, I still have to do it. We’re all in this together, all fighting for position and fighting for a spot. And I know how good you are Seleana, I know what you want and how to get there. But to get what you want you have to go through me and for me to get what I want?..well. I have to go through you and based off our history Sel...well...I know who i’d I have money on…”
