Last Week before Climax Control...
It was a pretty interesting flight to Toronto. Getting nasty glares from Keira every time I called her Keira. I know that she's 'Sin' now but I refuse to believe that Keira is not fundamentally still there and it's her love for Roxi which has made her fight so hard, and for her to agree to come with me to my house.
Needless to say, Ryan was none to pleased when I told him what I had done. Chasing Roxi all over the place to find her and then get her in a half way decent space to agree to come home with me. Somewhere safe. Somewhere were electronic gates barred anybody unwanted from accessing the front door even.
My kids, both had been sent to stay with my sister and her husband. I was extremely disappointed that I wouldn't be able to see them on this visit but I would make it up to them. Thank god they were still young and they probably wouldn't remember this but I know Ryan would probably never let me live it down.
Roxi only has moments of lucidity and it's during those moments I try to calm her down, tell her what's happened, convince her that I am someone she can trust. I know it sounds odd for me, someone that had never really interacted with Roxi before much but yet here I was, fighting for her. I was doing what Cyrus had claimed no one else would do for her. I was being a friend when no one else was.
The two of them are kinda huddled in the backseat of my Yukon, well as much as the seatbelts would allow. Roxi looks haunted, bloodshot eyes from lack of sleep and probably too caffeine. Keira keeps giving me a look, waiting for me to drive them into Cyrus's clutches like I'd led him to believe I was doing. I hadn't lied. Roxi was going to be there on Sunday. Keira didn't trust me and I could understand why after everything that had happened. I fought for what was right and honourable. I fought for women who were not much different than I had been at 17, just needed someone to help pick the pieces up and make sense of it all. I hadn't gotten that someone and part of my self vowed to make sure that if I had the chance to save someone else from the same mental torture I had endured than I would do everything in my power to do so.
Once I enter in my pass code at the gate and we pull past the creaking iron that really had only been in place for a few months, I drive up into the circular drive and stop in front of the white double doors. It wasn't really a mansion. It just looked that way from the outside. It only housed 6 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms and the finished basement. I guess by Canadian standards it was a mansion but well... it was just home to me. I'd always kinda grown up in big houses since my mother had died when I was 12. First my stepfather, then Chrissy's house and now this one with Rage. We'd shared this house twice, once for each marriage and although our first marriage had been rocky, coming back here had been like a part of me was finally put back in place.
I try to help Roxi inside from her door but Keira is there kinda of shoving me out of the way to do it herself. Okay, Okay. Wow.
"This way, I'll show you to your room."I felt almost like a hotel concierge but what else could I do? I had to wait it out and pick my moments when Roxi was willing to talk. I knew that strong wonderful woman was still in there, we just had to make sure she came out more and more until she could fight.
I open the door and the house seems rather quiet. I didn't know if that was a good sign or not. I was betting that Ryan was probably still at Chrissy's. I led the two women up to my spare guest room. The room still had a scent of fresh sheets in the air. The bed was just a simple four poster, queen size so I knew that the two of them would be able to share without issue. There was one single dresser in the room, but since neither of them had any bags I doubted it would be needed. Keira looks around and then helps Roxi to the bed. She looks up at me and I can almost see a bit of gratitude before she barks, "Roxi needs to rest from the flight... just uh, let us know when dinner is."
Normally I wouldn't take that shit from anybody but I would let it slide. For now. I leave the room, shutting the door behind me when I bump right into a hard wall of chest, I don't have to look up much to be eye to eye with my still stunning husband. He's frowning. When Ryan frowned it wasn't a good thing. I take a step back and he crosses his massive arms across his chest.
"Lex, do you have any idea how upset the kids are that they aren't going to get to see their mommy?"
"I know hun. This was just something I had to do."
He rolls his eyes and gives his head a slight shake. "I can't believe you. You promised me you weren't going to get involved with any bullshit. You said you had your fair share with Hunter and with Caine....now this... with Roxi?"
"Look, Roxi is a good person and she's going through a rough time. You remember what I told you, about my step-father, I just can't let her go through this alone..."
His expression changes, having heard about what I went through only a few years ago he looks to the closed bedroom door and then back to me with a slight 'O' expression on his face. I don't have to explain further. Even if her circumstance wasn't nearly as close to mine, it was the same, just in a different way. Her's was all mental and thank god, nothing physical was done. But sometimes, mental abuse can be almost if not more so damaging. Bodies heal, but memories stay with you a lifetime.
"I'm still not happy about this but I know you mean well. Just be careful okay? I don't want to have to go there and start killing people that are hurting my wife."
"I can more than take care of myself babe, but thank you."
He scowls. "I hate when you use that word. You got it from him."
I laugh. I had picked up on a few of Drake's common endearments from talking to him again more and it annoyed Ryan. He hated that I was training with him again but accepted that nothing was going to happen between us.
"You love it." I put my hands to either side of his face and give him a kiss. He smiles under my lips and goes to start moving me toward the bedroom when the doorbell rings.
"This better be the police coming to say someone's died."
I kiss him quickly again before descending the stairs and opening the door. I can't say I'm surprised to see a frazzled looking Kahlan. She steps inside, looking around me as Ryan comes down the stairs. He gives her a raised eyebrow to which she replies with an eye roll. Kahlan would never forgive him for taking her title and her limelight in MPW.
"Where is she?" She asks, moving past me toward the stairs. Ryan holds firm, blocking her.
"How did you get in here anyway?" He asks her. She gives a big of a snarl to her lips.
"I have a code. You forget I'm Alyson's godmother?"
"Oh...shit. Guess I gotta change it now."
The two of them stare each other down for a few minutes before I pipe in to break the tension.
"You can't see her right now Kahlan. She won't understand."
She spins around, advancing on me but still keeping a fair distance, watching to see if she can find an advantage past Ryan to the upper level of my home.
"Won't understand? Look I don't want to beat her up I just want to talk to her, I need some closure and I need to make sure that asshole didn't hurt her."
Typical Kahlan. Never wanted to admit she cared about anybody in public but in reality she cared a great deal. About me, about Ryan, went without saying that she loved Matt and my daughter, whom she was godmother of. And she cared about Roxi. She respected her like no other person in her life. I don't know how she justified it in her mind but now wasn't the time to do it.
"All you need to know is that she is fine. I will take care of her and things will be put back the way they are supposed to be on Sunday when I take her back to the Ivory Coast."
She gets in my face, one hand automatically clenching and the other rubs a thumb along a faded white scar along her wrist.
"You're taking her back to him? How could you even think about doing that?"
"Don't misunderstand me Kah, I said taking her back to the Ivory Coast, taking her to the show. What happens after that, well it hasn't exactly been decided. Yet."
A slow smile creeps up her lips because her and I do think alike on some levels. She knows my plan without me even having to utter a single word.
"Ok....but make sure Roxi knows that we're due for some kind of one on one talk...when she's better. There ware some... *sigh* unresolved debts that need to be taken care of and I'd rather just get it over with as much as I'm going to regret it"
She walks back toward the front door. "Oh Ry, if you change the code then I'll make sure to get in anyway. I'm crafty like that, plus I know a midget that flys real well and can fit in small spaces. He'd be able to open it from the inside and we wouldn't want that. would we?"
Ryan gives a disgusted look at the idea of Jax's friend Skeezo, a little person, who had questionable hygiene and similar questionable motives...someone Ryan was not fond of and I can guarantee that he would punt the little man over the gate if he ever caught him in here...and he'd do it with pleasure.
She walks to the door and I know that Ryan is watching her with interest. I don't blame him, she's a beautiful woman with beautiful features and if I tried to make him only ever look at me then I'd probably be fighting a losing battle. He could look but he never strayed, or at least he had made a real commitment to our marriage this time and hadn't this time. There were stories of how he'd hooked up with my friend Holly in the past but well.. that was another story for a different time.
She doesn't say good bye, just walks out and gets in a black Porsche. She nearly misses hitting both my Yukon and Ryan's pick up before leaving out the gates onto the street. Ryan rolls his eyes before coming toward me and pulling be back into his arms.
"Where were we? Oh yes, I believe I was going to show you just how much I missed you wasn't I?"
"I believe you were Mr. Styles." I smile up at him as he easily lifts my tall frame into his arms and heads up the stairs. In a few hours I would talk to Roxi and hopefully... well... you'll just have to see what happens won't you?
*End Scene*
Video Diary of Electra Styles #1
So after the 'beating' that I got from Roxi I sit here wondering what I did wrong. I guess I'm just a little too naive to think that Roxi had really understood the words I'd told her when she'd stayed at my house. As she ate my food, as I offered my hospitality and protection. But, I'd do it all again in a heartbeat and you know why? Because I'm a NICE girl.
As much as anybody can try and spin that around to say that being nice will only get you killed in this business, as was seen on Sunday when I was rewarded for wanting to help people, I truly believe that Karma is lurking in every corner...and those that have wronged others will ultimately get what's coming to them...and of course those that get it served back tenfold and simply laugh like it hasn't touched their souls in anyway, well you can imagine that it just simply piles on top like interest on an unpaid debt.
I'm not saying that I really have any retribution to pay. In fact neither of these so called 'mean girls' that I'm up against this week have really done anything all that personal to me. I assume that both or either one of them will probably try to fill everyone's heads with lies and then pump up their own superiority simply because they want to strong arm their way into this fed like they own the place. Ya, these little cliques that try to advertise that women must be skinny, 'beautiful', adorning plastic surgery to try and make themselves feel better about themselves. People like that seem to think that, that is true beauty. No. I'm sorry I don't agree. True beauty has nothing to do with cover, it's about who you are on the inside that truly matters.
For example, when I see Amy Marshall I see more than what most people probably see. And I don't mean this as a bad thing so if you'll bare with me a moment I will try to explain. Amy, when I look at you the first thing I think is 'misunderstood' and then after I look past the hurt and anger that you're probably feeling for I don't know what reason...it's really none of my business why you have that in your heart but beside that, beside the outside covering, I see someone that like me, is a warrior. A warrior fighting for what she thinks is right, not just what is popular or accepted. See Amy, When I saw you fighting Emma... when we chatted briefly through twitter, I could see that. You're attacks on Delia, well, that's just your way of dealing and since that little bit of...whatever that is... started long before I showed up, I don't have much to say about it. In fact if you happened to show up after my match, I'd gladly let you do whatever you wanted because I'd hate for someone else to stand in my way of what I felt was truly right.
Further to that, when I see Roxi... wow... maybe Cyrus has her convinced that everyone was using her, just cheering for her because she was 'popular' but I know I never cheered for her because she was popular or because of her past accolades. I cheered for her because she stood up for what was right. Stood up for those that couldn't stand on their own and I know all too well that sometimes, the burden of others becomes much to heavy to carry on your own and you look for someone to help you carry the load. A refuge in a otherwise heavy storm. It's unfortunate that when she was weathering that storm, the person that had an umbrella was in fact this Cyrus. I really wished I had known Roxi better or at all really because she could have turned to me. I can't speak for any of her other friends because I don't know them....and I try as hard as I can not to pass unjustified judgement on those I don't know, with some exceptions of course, I really don't know why she felt that none of her friends or comrades could be trusted to help her carry this burden. It makes me sad. I got to her much too late. But I refuse to give up and I refuse to loose hope because in all the times I've watched Roxi, even the times she battled my 'Sister' I watched her not give up on anybody, not even Kahlan when she seemed inevitably lost to us. Roxi still held a small amount of respect for her and realized that there was still a chance that Kah would come back...and she did and for that I think is the reason why Kahlan feels so strongly and so mixed about Roxi now. Maybe I should have let Kahlan loose on Cyrus... maybe violence would have been the better option for a man that cannot see past his own lust for power, or just lust in general. He's a hard man to read and I still haven't figured out why he craves to hold Roxi's mind under lock and key. Justin wasn't able to find anything on him which means he's probably using a pseudo name. He's a genius but without more information he can only find so much. This much I do know though, Cyrus may not have raped Roxi physically but he's mentally stripped her of everything and I intend to pick up the pieces, the pieces he's carelessly just left lying about for anyone to pick up...and I promise you... all of you watching this that I will get Roxi back and I will help her in the future. I'm not going anywhere. It's going to take more than a confused Roxi to beat me down in a ring. I am a warrior for good and what's right and I am still standing. Even stronger.
Talking about being Stronger, I'm going up against these mean girls. Only in this business can sheer bullying be accepted like this. I don't know why, maybe it's just the nature of wrestling or maybe it's because it makes for great TV. Whatever the reason I refuse to let these walking mannequins get a win over me. It's great that you both have so much confidence to tweet me to tell me that I'm privileged to lose to you. Seriously, whatever helps you sleep well at night. If you need to get on a keyboard and type to me about your so called ability to beat me then be my guest because at the end of the day, it's not your fingers that are going to get you a win, its the over all package. Now this might sound a little egotistical of me but I'm pretty damn good. I may have lost the battle royal two weeks ago but I was the last one eliminated. I even beat out you Veronica. Actually I've beat you twice now sweetheart so your only saving grace this time is that your friend there, she's got a little more skill and wins under her belt. The difference between me and you Delia is that I'm not concerned about a little win over you. There are a lot of factors that can't really be measured. I trust that Cynthia is going to be a good tag partner and despite the fact that I beat her in our first match, I know she holds no hard feelings, as I have none against her either. I only did what she would have done, try to win.
However, I have no idea how we'll work together as we've never partnered together, so the fact that you and Veronica are 'tight' you have that advantage over us. Great. Well done. Ask me again tomorrow if I give a damn. You could have your little lackeys come out to cheat a win for you which I'm probably sure they will try. All the power to you. I'm feeling pretty good about knowing I don't have to cheat to get a win at any point. And if your expecting me to cry or whine or go into a tirade on social media should I lose then you will be very disappointed. You see, I'm not going to feed your desires for attention. Usually in this circumstance, if you were in high school, which this reminds me an awful lot of, the teachers would claim that you're projecting your own lack of self worth by putting down and others that seem to have an overabundance of confidence and are genuinely happy with their lives. I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time finding real acceptance of yourself. I think they have some classes you can take to help with that. I'd be happy to find the number for you.
You know that phrase, kill em with kindness? Well that's what I'm going to do for you Delia. I'd say Veronica too but well... I don't think she knows what 'kindness' means, both figuratively and well at all.... tell you what Veronica, I'm going to get you a really pretty pocket dictionary that you can keep in your designer purse. No one even has to know you have it. See... another good deed for the day.
But you Delia... you see I'm going to tell you that you're beautiful. And you can meet that with any kind of snarky sarcasm you want...because that's what people like you do. You take compliments like they are owed to you. Like people should bow down at your jimmy choos and kiss your feet like some kind of proverbial wrestling goddess. I'm sorry love, I'm not going to do that. I don't do that for anyone, so don't hold your breath. Fact is Delia, I feel really sorry for you because I really believe that anybody could be redeemed from being bad if given the proper resources...but I don't think anybody here is going to want to help you. Just like my Step-father. He burned his bridges and even on his death bed he still tried to justify what he did to me. You are the same kind of person. You have no remorse. You do things because you find they entertain you, or because you have something to gain from it....and on you're death bed, you'll try to justify the things that you have done.
I am not the kind of person that sits in front of a camera and just rhymes off random insults and uses them to make myself look better because let's face it, telling lies doesn't make anybody look better. My truth is this....the only problem I have with you Delia... is that you condoned a woman being brainwashed and mentally hijacked and then without even knowing me, tried to pass judgement on me because I bet, it made you feel better about yourself or you thought you could get some future leverage with Cyrus.... here's a thought, why don't you go and take Roxi's place then if you feel he's such a wonderful man? Maybe he can fill that void that I think you have by not having that 'father figure'. I mean I'm only assuming, but most girls turn into...well you... when they didn't have a good man in their life to show them how they should be treated...it starts in childhood love. I should know. My father ran away as soon as he found out my mother was pregnant with my sister....
So there isn't really anything you can say that is going to make me hate you Delia. I don't hate you. You are not worth my hate, it takes too much of my precious energy to give that to you. And that's what you want from me and I refuse to give you that vindication. In fact I've given you more than enough of my time as it is. I'm actually looking forward to what you come up with, should make for some great entertainment worthy of TMZ or a gossip magazine.
I really do wish you nothing but the best hun....in everything but this match. I am going to win. It's nothing personal. I made a promise to myself that I was going to win titles here and that's exactly what I intend to do... Just like I fully intend to win on Sunday, even if I have to do it myself.
*Sunday April 27, 2014*
I wait patiently at the doors of an unknown gym. I knew I was always welcome at Olympia but I knew that Kahlan would lose her shit if I had Drake train me there so here we were, at some unknown place in Vegas. He strides in, cocky as ever. He takes me in and My breath catches in my throat. Age has only made him that more handsome then I last remember.
He closes the distance between us by enveloping me into a hug. It's a little awkward at first for me but eventually... I return it and it's not until then that he releases me to look me over.
"Am I mistaken or has pregnancy made you a little more curvier?"
He takes my hand to twirl me around a little. When I return back to looking at him I roll my eyes at him.
"What? I can't appreciate what was mine to begin with? I know you are infatuated with that doofus that can't stay retired and you know that I can't really think of anybody but her right now."
"Drake...." I warn.
He shakes his head. "I know. I'm not going to talk about her, I promised. You are one of two women that I will willingly make a promise to you know. I hate how vulnerable it makes me but at the same time if this is the only way to keep you in my life..."
The moment is a rare one from him but it's gone almost as soon as it begins. He looks up at me with that trademark smirk and the feel of the room is changed.
"Now, lets toughen you up."
I'm already in my gear and he strips off his jacket and walks into an empty dressing room. Seconds later he's back in shorts, topless of course and he smiles at my appraisal. We climb into the ring and a cloud of dust raises up around us. I cough a little and he laughs.
"It's a little unused, but it will be fine. Not many practice rings around here."
I stretch out, not willing to pull a muscle when I had this match coming up. Not knowing what Cynthia was really like in a tag match I had to make sure that I was able to carry us both should I need too.
"So tell me about the match you have."
He comes over, take a hold of my arm and helps me to stretch out.
"They call themselves 'The Mean Girls'."
He smirks, "Really?"
I nod.
"That's original. Do they have a coke snorting burnt out Lindsay Lohan too?"
I can't help but laugh a little.
"I may not be very old but I've been doing this since I was 17 and that has got to be the most pathetic tag team name I've ever heard."
"Oh, it's not a tag team. There's a stable of them."
He puts a hand to his forehead and shakes it. "Seriously?"
"Ya I think one of them is a guy but he dresses like a girl."
Drake has to stop what from helping me stretch to laugh. When he's done he turns back to me. "I don't understand what goes on in the minds of some people... ok so how serious are the two your facing as competitors?"
"Well, Veronica I have to wonder if she's in the right profession. I haven't seen her win a match since I started in SCW and even her in skills in the ring are enhanced by her little friend coming down. I took out her too when we faced in my debut."
"Okay... so nothing really to worry about there?"
"You know I never underestimate anybody I face, even if I know I can beat them."
He nods his head. "And the other one?"
"Delia. She's... odd..."
"Odd? Please elaborate. all your 'friends' could be considered odd... you've got me... Fishface, Kah...." He stops, clears his throat. "But you get it. So your going to have to give me more than that."
"Well, seems she likes to be a typical bully. Targets people she thinks are weak and kisses the ass of those she thinks will help her."
Drake rolls his eyes. "I know the type well. How is she skill wise?"
"I admit, she's decent in the ring. She's one of those types that picks up on her opponents moves if she likes them and mimics them but overall she seems pretty all round."
"That we can work on. I can work with you on some more innovative moves. I see you took on Style's Torture rack. I was impressed when I saw it. Nice."
I give him an impressed look, "You were watching?"
"Of course I was. You've done well for yourself so far Lex, and you almost had it 2 weeks ago too but you made it to the end and that's a start. Don't be too hard on yourself, you have been out a few years now."
I punch him in the arm and he rubs it, pretending that I've actually hurt him but I know I've barely made a dent. He runs back against the ropes, bouncing off and coming at me, I duck and then take out his leg and he goes down, I spin around trying to go down but he's got my leg between his and I end up tripping over myself. He grabs my arms and pins them over my head and smiles down at me. I know he wants to say something but he refrains. Wow, Drake Hunter showing restraint. He has grown up. He lets me go and we stand.
"Come at me this time. Try your new finisher on me."
I do, but it's too slow for him. I'm still trying to up my endurance, plus my mind isn't totally there right now...it's on Roxi. He stops me and shakes his head.
"Where were you just now Lex? Since when are those legs a hindrance for you? Ring rust or not I've never known you to not be able to focus. This isn't going to work if you're somewhere else."
"Sorry, just thinking about Roxi..."
He brushes it off, sitting on the rope he pushes it down and indicates for me to get out. He drops down beside me easily and tosses me a bottle of water from his gym bag. We sit on the bench and chugs half of his own bottle.
"I know you wanna play hero for her but you aren't going to get any sympathy from me. She's partly to blame for the way everything turned out. Her... Kuk... Jackson..." He snarls a little. He goes to say something else but I stop him.
"Listen you can blame one or all of those people for how it turned out between you and Kahlan but you know that you and her were never good for each other. It would have failed eventually..."
He shakes his head, being intentionally stubborn and not wanting to admit that I'm right.
"How is it going with Violet?"
His face lights up at the mention of her name. "She's... she's wonderful. She's perfect... she's like that part of me that was missing..."
"But..."
"But... I don't want to end up in that same place again. In that void that every woman has left in me. I can feel it Lex... Feel that connection again, that inevitable feeling I get whenever I feel like we've connected on another level but she's different than the others. I really don't think I could take another fall...what's left of my sanity would leave and then I couldn't be held responsible for the outcome of that."
I instantly felt a little guilt. This had all started when I'd left him. Run away because I was afraid of hurting him, of breaking up with him in person.
"I'm sorry Drake... part of this is my fault."
He lifts his eyes up to stare straight into mine. "How is any of this you're fault?"
"You had the voices under control before I left you..."
He shakes his head, taking my hand and bringing it up to his lips, brushing them lightly over my knuckles. "Don't blame yourself for that. It was bound to happen and actually I'm glad you left Lex, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I had hurt you."
It was true, he never had stopped loving me and I guess in a way I hadn't either but it was different. It wasn't romantic, it was more like... a mother figure maybe... I dunno, maybe that sounds perverted but I knew he wasn't looking to get me into the back room, he wanted someone he could trust. Someone he could talk to.
"Why are you afraid of that? Why do you think she's going to leave you?"
He looks up at me with wide dark eyes, too young and not familiar to me right now. This was a different side to Drake, a side that I think I was the first to really see. "Because they all do. They can't handle how dark I get, how dark I plan on getting. I have big plans Lexi, big plans and it's going to change the entire perception of wrestling"
"I don't think she's going to leave you honey. She's completely obsessed with you."
He smiles, getting a faraway look on his face, "I know.. isn't it great?"
I laugh, It makes him break out of this state to look at me with a blank expression. "I'm glad she makes you happy Drake. She seems like the perfect fit for you."
"Too perfect?"
"That I don't know. Don't do anything stupid Drake... I think losing her in ANY way is going to drive you over the edge. These doubts you have are understandable but don't run away from something that scares you, cuz you might just run away from the best thing that's ever happened to you."
He smiles and does something else unexpected, he lays his head on my shoulder, but it only lasts a minute before he shoots up and then extends his hand to me.
"Alright, enough sappy shit, let's work on your moveset and get you championship ready again."
{The scene fades out as Electra takes his hand and pushes her back toward the ring}
