[color=redRevelations[/color]
To whom it may concern/”Hot Stuff” Mark Ward,
As I am establishing the Las Vegas chapter of The Church of the Good Shepherds, I would like to take this time to apologize for not gifting you with my words of wisdom face to face. I simply cannot organize charity drives, put together a sermon for Sunday morning, hand out hot meals to the homeless, and all of the other good works that I am responsible for, on top of training to wrestle with Brother Andrew Borg, and work out twice a day, and still invite a camera to film me. A man has to sleep.
And while I understand that this is not very champion-like, and I do not intend to make a habit out of this, I regret to inform you that I will not be able to record a promotional video by the deadline given. I do not wish to breach my contract, so I have prepared this manifesto in hopes that I can save myself from having to talk to the jezebels presented before me for interviewing purposes. And do not get me started on the crossdresser. Her and I have had our wars, and I am not interested in furthering that. Instead, I’d rather focus on saving souls who want to be saved instead of wasting effort on heathens that celebrate their sins, rather than repent them.
Prior to the holiday break, which presented much more work at the Church’s new chapter than I had anticipated, I was given talent that was on my level. At least, on paper. I fought against Stephen Callaway and Kedron Williams, along with Bill Barnhart, and one that most would look at as a stretch for me to even consider calling out, in the form of that whisky swilling, child abandonment spokesperson, O’Malley. While I did not truly take these talents lightly, I knew that God had meant for me to win those matches and to hold my rightful place on the throne as king of the Roulette Division.
I try not to be a prideful person, but I take my career very seriously. I, well, take pride in my performances. I give it one hundred and ten percent every time I go out to that ring. I roll with the punches, and I sharpen my wit and intellect to be on the lookout for anything I can use to my advantage. I use my mind more than any other muscle in my body. This puts me in a different class from the Bill Barnhart’s, the Stephen Callaway’s, and the Kedron Williams’. This justifies taking on someone as well known as O’Malley, who has some skill, but a lot of value based on his namesake from all of the work that his deceased wife put into this company, your company. I was given the opportunity to succeed, twice, and I have not let you down. I am forever grateful for the opportunities you have presented me. I will do everything that I can to come through and prove what a valuable asset I am to your company.
With that said, I also want to thank you for giving me time off over the holidays to do my good works, to begin turning this from “Sin City” to “Saved City”. If you trademark that, I would like a cut of the profits for the Church of the Good Shepherds Las Vegas chapter. It also gave me a lot of time to think as I tuned out all of the dirty faces of those who crawled out of the sewers, or wherever homeless people stay at that gives them that constant smoker’s cough that never seems to go away, even when they haven’t been able to afford cigarettes since their last meal two weeks ago. I thought long and hard as I made sure I couldn’t even remember the sad look on their faces when I had to tell them that the meals were reserved for people who looked homeless. A couple pats of dirt would not fool this guy. But, while I repeated myself like a broken record, I thought long and hard about many things.
As well as this is a manifesto taking place of my camera time I have failed to give to Saved City Wrestling (I’m starting already), it is also a petition to you, Mr. Ward Jr. I am asking you kindly to please evaluate the methods of booking going forward. I understand that you are likely only half responsible, and getting black out drunk and letting that Underwood character do whatever he wants seems like the right thing to do, but it is not. I know from experiences in the past that allowing “some people” to do as they please while you are incoherent leads to a lot of bad choices, and a trip to the clinic for “anal gonorrhea” a few days later. Expel those demons, and come down to the Church sometime. We’ve all been there.
Mind you, I have never been inside of your office, your board meetings, listened in on your Skype or Zoom meetings, but I can tell you that this has been made apparent to all in Saved City. I am sure that you have more than enough money to buy out your partner and do things in a respectable manner. Besides, certain people should not be in charge of half naked males, greased up, paid to hold onto each other and press bodies together while fighting over large accessories. It isn’t good for their sinful urges.
Moving further on to my point, I am asking this, because not even God can justify the blunder made last week as it pertains to Climax Control this week. Putting your Roulette Champion up against the man who just lost the World Heavyweight Championship seems like a real mess up. I am not sure if that was a typo, and perhaps my name got placed next to that of Jack Washington, or if it was a deliberate act to try to embarrass me, but I assure you that it is not good for business. Refute all you like, but the fact of the matter is that there is no benefit from this match. Allow me to explain myself:
Jack Washington wins! Who truly wins here? Your former champion, is going to face Kris Ryans in a rematch, should you graciously offer him that as it is not guaranteed in any contract clauses we sign upon entry to the company, or upon entering championship matches. What does that do for him? He beat some rookie, fresh out of SCU, who “lucked out” by winning the SCW Roulette Championship less than a month ago in his second match. Yes, I hear them talk, and I see them stare at me with envy. I don’t hold it against them. It’s hard to stare success in the face and realize that you will never be able to be that guy to walk into the company and win a championship. Not even Jack Washington. That’s already come and gone for him. But, what he does have on me is that he was the World Heavyweight Champion up until a few weeks ago. And that’s almost insulting to him to have to face the person who is looked at as being, not one, but two tiers below him.
He gains nothing from beating me. Literally nothing. Zip. As a matter of fact, I hope he beats me, or else this entire company looks like a joke. The structure fails. The next thing you know, some random person who is the Ghost of SCW Past like Matthew Kennedy comes back and becomes the World Heavyweight Champion. Holly Wood becomes the first ever Bombshell Champion with a penis. O’Malley becomes a good father. Blood rains from Heaven. You get where I’m going with this. If you can tell me one reason why this match is best for business, I will literally kiss your rump in the middle of the ring as if we just left the “Attitude Era”. But it has to be justifiable. I am that certain that you can’t.
Now, let’s look at the alternative.
Brother David wins!{/i] “PRIMETIME” “THE LORD” MATTHEW KENNEDY BECOMES YOUR WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!! Do I need to say anything more? I shouldn’t have to, but let’s just continue anyway.
I beat your former World Heavyweight Champion. Everything goes out of whack. Considering I have only been wrestling professionally for less than two years, and came from your “inferior product” of Saved City Underground. I’ve already made waves by capturing the Roulette Championship. I have aspirations of gaining the Internet Championship. Seeing as that just gets handed to people, that shouldn't be hard to earn and hold onto. Perhaps I will find a suitable partner for the Mixed Tag Team Championships. Lastly, I would like to win the World Championship.
In due time!
I’m still finding my legs in Saved City. I’m being served up on a platter to Jack Washington, and that’s fine. The guy needs a win, honestly. It would have to really gnaw at one’s craw to lose to Kristopher Ryans. Possibly the biggest heathen in Saved City, and the most annoying to boot. You’re not going to live that down because he is a social media kingpin. Jack is in a rut now, and I might actually stand a fair chance against him. Which is even worse, and doesn’t prove that you care about your talents. Kick ‘em when their up, kick ‘em when they’re down, much like Drake Green.
But do realize that when I beat Jack Washington, you will be making Ben Jordan, all the way down to Gabriel Stevens, look bad. You are giving me free range in one fell swoop to make Saved City look bad. All because you gave control over the show to the one who is over there fighting for the women to win as it pertains to filling Blast From the Past slots. Like, who actually cares about that?
Please, boss. Be reasonable. Buy out Underwood, and make this company what it’s always supposed to have been. A place of passion and glory, like the Eye of the Tiger, if said Tiger were God.
And, boss? Please tke it easy on me. This manifesto will take longer to read than it took to load and watch my last opponent’s promotional video. See you on Sunday.
Sincerely,
Brother David Shepherd
