Jessie lost the ladder match to Amy thus seemingly ending her hopes of getting a title shot any time soon and forcing her to become Amy’s maid for a year, whilst Jessie was able to escape a week of such humiliation by traveling to England to attend Bloodstock she was now back in the states and ready to pick things up where she left off, for better or worse, however this week’s Climax Control would wind up creating a unique opportunity for both Amy and Jessie.
Why? Because they were both competing in first round matches of the Gold Rush Tournament, Amy was taking on Selena Zdunich in one match whilst in the other Jessie was taking on perpetual underdog Dani Weston who, despite joining the company several months ago, has yet to win a single match in her career despite getting numerous opportunities that most rookies would kill for, including a World Bombshell Title Shot just last week (which she, obviously, lost), can Jessie continue Dani’s losing streak?
Guitar Centre, Irving, California
Friday the 17th of August 2018, 11:00am
What can I say? I love guitars almost as much as I love to point out the hypocrisy of the bosses.
For those who missed me last week, yes, both of you, I was making my annual trip to England for Bloodstock which had absolutely nothing to do with the stipulation that was forced upon me when I lost the ladder match to Amy, no, seriously, Bloodstock has their dates arranged a year in advance and this year was no different so it was a total coincidence that my week off happened to coincide with the start of me being Amy’s maid.
And speaking of coincidences.
Yeah, I’ve seen this week’s card, I was reading it whilst I was waiting for Nightwish to close the festival with their headline set and more importantly I know who I’m up against, Dani “biggest flop in SCW history” Weston in the first round of the Gold Rush Tournament just one week removed from the World Bombshell Title Shot that she got because reasons, if anyone’s still wondering why I continue to call Mark and Christian hypocrites now you know why.
Seriously, how is it that this rookie is getting opportunities that I would’ve killed for back when I was starting out in SCW? She hasn’t won a single match in her SCW career yet so far, she’s competed for a shot at the World Bombshell Championship once, competed for the World Bombshell Championship once and is in this tournament for a shot alongside the equally underserving Selena Zdunich.
Yeah, I know, the bosses call the shots around here, but I wasn’t aware that title shots were being given out as participation awards!
“This guitar looks good.” Jake commented as he picked up the guitar, an electric one, in front of him and I looked up at it, we weren’t there to buy anything, just to check out what they had on offer, since we had spent a bunch of money at Bloodstock the week before and all. “I think I’d be interested in getting this once we have more money.”
“Yeah well, soon as I get my next paychecks from SCW and Honor Wrestling I’ll let you know.” I responded as I looked over the guitar in question whilst Shane looked at another one. “See anything you like Shane?”
“Yep, anything I can afford is another question entirely.” Shane responded as he looked over the guitars in question before noticing something. “Hey Jess, you wanted to use an acoustic guitar for your promo, right?”
“Yeah, why?” I asked as I walked over to him and Jake followed suit.
“I think this will do nicely.” Shane responded as he picked up the guitar in question and he was right, for my purposes it was pretty much perfect. “I’ll just go over to the staff and ask if it’s okay if you borrow it for minute or two, give or take of course.”
“I was about to say; her promos don’t usually take less than two minutes.” Jake joked in response and I grinned as I picked up the guitar and got a feel for it before doing a couple of practice strums, mostly open chords whilst Shane went and cleared it with the staff. “So, Amy’s maid…….”
“Don’t get me started on that shit.” I responded as I shook my head. “That stipulation never should’ve been attached to the match in the first place, it should’ve been “title shot ban is lifted” and nothing else.” I added, and Jake went to say something. “What would Amy have gotten out of winning? Seeing her former tag team partner finally do something that she should’ve done years ago and win the World Bombshell Title!”
“You’re still going on about that.” Jake asked, and I shook my head.
“What the fuck do you think?” I asked before Shane came over. “So, what’s the word?”
“Your free to use it for however long you need the guitar, as long as you don’t damage it and you put it back on the shelf.” Shane explained, and I grinned before the boys walked off to give me some privacy, so I could start my promo.
“Ever since I got this close to winning the World Bombshell Title a few years ago at Summer XXXTreme and my campaigns for further shots started I’ve been hearing the same shit from the other Bombshells, wait and earn your shots!” I said before strumming the guitar once. “Flash forward to today and I go to England for a week as I usually do during the second week of August and what happens when I’m gone? Title shots basically became participation awards!”
Yeah, you know where I’m going with this.
“I’m off course talking about the biggest flop in SCW history and her name is Dani Weston! How is she a flop? Do I really need to explain this? She’s been in the company since April and in those four months she has yet to pick up a single win, hell I may have lost my first two matches in SCW, but I didn’t wait that long to start picking up wins! And yet the bosses continue to show how much they are struggling to find real challengers for Mikah by not only sticking her in the Ultimate X Over the Pool match to see who challenges Mikah in the Main Event but skipping the pleasantries and just flat out giving her a title shot in the Main Event of last week’s Climax Control! And now they stick her and the equally terrible Selena Zdunich in a tournament that features me and Amy and if for some reason you haven’t figured it out, I’ve got Dani as my opponent!”
Then again you should’ve been able to figure that out from the card.
“What? Were the rookie Bombshells with wins under their belts busy? This is the ballad of Dani Weston, a rookie full of potential who flops every time she steps into the ring, hell she can’t even win a match where she’s teaming with a seven-foot-tall ogre from Canada who can’t win a title to save his life yet is somehow under the impression that he’s worthy of a World Heavyweight title shot! You know who you are! At least when I campaigned for title shots I did it with some credentials!”
Like every other title in SCW!
“I haven’t been to Vegas recently but I’m willing to bet that the chances of you winning this match Dani are about the same as Donald Trump stepping down from office before Robert Mueller can do us all a favor and kick his incompetent ass to the curb! Sooner so later Dani the bosses will get bored of you and by then you’ll just be another Bombshell on the roster, maybe you’ll get picked at random to participate in Multi-Person matches to determine the next challenger for Mikah’s title, but I wouldn’t hold your breath on ever getting as close as you did last week.”
It’s that simple.
“When I saw this match announced my initial reaction was “and people call me a fluke?!” and you know what? That’s still my reaction! I don’t know what the bosses see in a Bombshell who has zero wins on her record to keep giving you shot after shot like this but who knows? Maybe once the Dani Weston experiment inevitably fails they’ll realize that I was right all along about the title shot ban and lift it! But until then I’ll just be another notch in your ever growing lose column Dani.”
And with that I decided to wrap things up.
“And that was the ballad of Dani Weston, couldn’t win a single fucking match to save her life but keeps getting opportunities that I would’ve killed for in my rookie year because the bosses like her or some shit! Dani if your expecting to get your first win any time soon then here’s a reality check, some people simply don’t belong in the wrestling business and your one of them, your atrocious win/loss record speaks for itself! This is the Heavy Metal Angel Jessie Salco signing off, Dani, I know it’s a cliché that you can be anything you want to be in this country, but you may as well skip a step and start working in a cheap strip club!”
I put the guitar back and went to join the boys as the scene fades.
