“Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think???”
Words that have been echoing my brain since day one after returning to this company, a company where apparently sensitivity is reigning supreme over the past that made you and created a legacy that you only are dreaming off to thriving to, in the hopes of one day possibly having your name etched next to some big time names.
“Ah who gives the f***”
London, England
April 14h, 2019
Goth can be seen sitting on his bed in his hotel room, clutching his fist around a bottle of rum while staring at a picture of someone on his nightstand. A picture of him and his wife during their more happier times, a time where she had not being diagnosed with Cancer. Tears are flowing from his cheeks down upon his trousers, but he does not attempt to stop the tears from flowing. He takes another swig from the bottle of rum before looking back at the picture once more.
Goth: I wished you were here so that I could tell you again that we will beat this terrible disease that ki…..
He suddenly stops mid-sentence, not able to utter the word: “Killed”. Cause it is too fresh in his memory, even though it has happened many years ago. He just cannot cope with the pain, the hope that he wanted to bestow upon her for the strength to fight the cancer that doctors had told them was incurable. He just didn’t wanted to accept that.
Goth: For fuck sakes…, it should have been YOU here instead of ME!! Why do YOU hate so much!!
He lifts his head upwards towards the ceiling as he is looking for an answer from God Himself, knowing that nothing would be given for his desperation in his cries.
Goth: For f***’s sake
He extends his hand towards the picture of them together, wanting to lower it upon the nightstand so that he does not have to look at the time that they were the happiest couple alive. The one moment in his entire life that he had not wanted to return to wrestling, that he had not even missed it. A moment that he would have done everything in his power to return to, meaning that he would have his wife back from an enemy that he knows he could never beat. His hand is trembling above the picture, just inches away from touching the fabric of the picture holding that protects the picture. But something is seemingly stopping him from doing so. Forcing him to look at them, forcing his tears to continue to pour from his eyes and he is frozen from doing anything.
Goth: Why am I so incapable of doing such a simplistic thing? Why is it being such a burden that I do not wish for it to end?? BECAUSE IT HAS TO END!!!!
His screams echoes through the room, he does not care of the people around him are capable of hearing his screaming of agony and pain. It’s his way to cope with his pain, just drinking his sorrow away on the anniversary of Sapphira’s passing many years ago. The first few weeks after the passing of his wife he had locked himself up in his bedroom, he had send their son to family under the lie of that change of scenery would do his son good. But deep down inside he knew that he could not come face to face with his son. Feeling the tears emerge from him and his son that would killed him, even though he knew that he had to be there for his son.
Goth: Forgive me my son….
Words that he uttered every single year on this faithful day, words that he wanted to hold on to as some sort of hope. But the words came from his lips as nothing more than being in grief, being in sorrow and most of all hatred towards himself. Feeling that he had let down his wife, he had promised her that he would always be there for her.
Goth: I know you are disappointed, you are rightfully in doing so.
Words that he knew that were a lie. He had not left her deathbed until the very last moment that she let out her final breath. He had done anything she had wished for, even done things that she hadn’t asked but he knew that it would have meant the world to her. He knows that her death shouldn’t be a reason to be this sad… knowing that she would live on forever inside his heart and memories.
Goth: I don’t deserve to live when you are dead my sweet Sapphira.
He puts the picture to his mouth and softly kisses her on the picture, after a few moments he lowers the picture and lets his trembling fingers run over her face. In the hope that for some reason he would be able to feel her skin and her breathing.
Goth: Why??
He is slowly losing his mind, hating what he has become. Hating the fact that people are hating him for his actions towards Amanda Cortez, someone that understood him perfectly and never made an issue about his vocal advances. An yet, he knew that he could never feel for someone else like he did for his wife.
Goth: WHY!!!!!!
He suddenly raises his head, he had forgotten that his son was sleeping in the next room and the babysitter was taking care of him. Afraid that the babysitter, or even worse his very own son could have heard his tirade of agony. Quickly wiping his face clean, or at least attempting to do so when the door opens and the young face of the babysitter look around the bedroom to see him. She has a look of concern, knowing what he is going through and felt bad about him.
Goth: Something wrong with my son Vanessa??
Hoping that she had not heard him, solely coming around to tell him something about his son. But he can see her head shake no as she slowly walks over towards him. Placing her hand on his as she sees the picture of him and his wife, causing tears to emerge upon her face as well.
Vanessa: You truly miss her don’t you??
Goth: I….
She nods her head as he cannot get to answering her question, feeling rather uncomfortable in the entire situation. He wants to turn into the asshole that people have been criticizing about since joining SCW for the Blast from the Past. Even his tag team partner is threatening to wallk out of the Blast From The Past tournament after this semi-finals match. The thoughts run through his brain, causing him not to hear his babysitter until she wakes him out of his thoughts after she shook hi by the arms.
Vanessa: Sir??
Goth: PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME!!!
He is clearly in a trance, the warning from Mackenzie Paige must have troubling him even more, not just because of the tournament. But more in the way of the fact that he cannot handle rejection, being left alone once more. Having to face all of his fears on his own, while he thought that his tag partner would see through it. But clearly he was wrong.
Vanessa: Leave you?? I don’t understand??
Goth: I should have not said those things about you Mackenzie, I know that I was wrong. I knew that I would be getting heat over this. And I don’t mind controversy like any other man…
Vanessa: But sir?? My name is….
Goth: And just because people are getting on my case, something I have gotten used to from the early days is something that I can handle. Just like that little bug Jake, ugh. He is a pesky little ant.
Vanessa: Can you hear me sir???
But his mind has shrouded him, making him incapable to hear her pleads as well as her trying to wake him up by grabbing him by the shoulders. She could smell the alcohol from his foul stench and for a few moments considers calling for help when…
Goth: I promise to do better!! Just don’t leave our chance to succeed where I have failed!!!
She looks at him raising an eyebrow, she did not expected this to hear from him. She felt sorry for him, she just didn’t know what to do. She knew he used to be a wrestler, but she never cared for men acting in violent ways, but for some reason that’s why they liked her so much. Because she wasn’t a fan like stalker that wanted to get close to her heroes. Remembering that their relationship was just strictly business, but after his wife died she had gotten to know him a bit more personally as he had found her shoulder more than once to cry on. She had noticed him that he had changed, making rude remarks to women, but never towards her. It made her uncomfortable for a bit that he had changed and made those remarks, but for some reason she assumed that he would grow out of it as it was nothing more than an emotional phase.
Goth: Vanessa??
She reacts startled for a bit, not expected him to suddenly acknowledge her once more after his mindless tirade.
Vanessa: Yes sir???
Goth: God damnit, just call me by my name.
Vanessa: Uhm, yes Gerrit…
Goth: Do you think Mackenzie truly hates me??
He lowers his head, putting his hands towards his face as he is hiding his shame for her and everyone else that could see him. Even though he had totally forgotten about the camera, the thought of being emotional and weak before his babysitter made him ashamed for himself.
Vanessa: I don’t know her personally, but I’m sure that if you two talk things out that perhaps you may reach an understanding???
He looks up, his face is red around his eyes as he is showing something that remotely looks like a sigh of relief.
Goth: Thank you Vanessa….,
The shot fades as the two remain silent for the remainder that the shot is on them.
“A little bit too Ironic… and I really do think”
Goth can be seen sitting in the hallway of his hotel, turning on and off his cigarette lighter while staring at the flame that comes out of the lighter every time he turns it on. Fixated upon the bright light as well as the warmth that comes from it, he is breathing heavily while clearly he had dressed up after getting out of the shower without drying his hair or body as we see wet spots every where on his shirt and pants.
Goth: Forgive me if I am just not the perfect host for this promo for you all today, but apparently I am not anywhere near being perfect if I have to believe the words that are coming from people everywhere. People that do not know me, people that do not wish to know me or my situation. People that assume that I am a sex addict and a damn right rapist???
He whispers the final words without taking his eyes off of his lighter, he cocks his head sideways for a few moments before lifting his free hand towards his hair. There he takes out one piece of hair and pulls it out of his head before letting it come in contact with the flame, causing the hair to disengrate into smoke and a burning smell
Goth: Mackenzie that has already told the world that she would rather risk becoming number one contender to the Bombshell world title than share the ring with me for the final time after the tournaments final match in London. And I know that people have often wanted to withhold me from my destiny and becoming world champion once more. And for whatever reason it may very well be to inflict this upon me is solely excuses to hide the real reason isn’t it?? Oh yes Mackenzie, I feel sorrow for what I have done, sorrow that I had not noticed and understood the sincerity of the lack of a backbone in this 2019 version of the company I was in for many of years. Telling the world the current era of new superstars is being justified solely egotistical and just plain and downright sentimental and softheaded. Oh and I know that in the current state that men have put themselves into with the current me too situation is something I raise my shoulders upon you all with he greatest of ease. And why?? Why not huh?? I have no intent to babysit some deprived little human beings that clearly care for what their emotions are telling them!!! As if rage is a perfect example of how to get the job done… or let usnot even discuss the subject of being unsuitable to take criticism upon every possible layer that a human being could and should take to widen their horizon and their mental state. So forgive me if I crossed a line that would have made those who I have known in the past laugh and tell me how stupid I am before buying me a beer.
Do I need your pity?? Your sympathy?? Or even worse?? Your understanding and that it would benefit us all from my misunderstanding and pat each other on the back… because I know a jobber like Jakey would just foam from the mouth if he realizes that he may very well be waiting another match with me after kicking the tag teams butts this week and possibly in the finals in a few weeks. But I am sure that Jake would find another excuse to go rabid upon me on social Media…. Or should I just say…. My personal I don’t give a fuck media….. but that’s up to you to even recognize the greatness that unfolds before your very own eyes…. And yet you don’t even realize it.
He finally turns his cigarette off as he closes it and puts it in the pocket of his pant
Goth: Does this mean I am a saint??? Oh of course not, I prefer the term of a personal asshole myself, simple yet straight to the point. Not having to dwell over hundreds upon thousands of words of explanatory fashion. The way that these shitheads feel that they obligated to explain it all, not having any fucking part of their lives being holy and sacred. But I guess me telling some chick that she has a hot ass is out of the question huh??
He softly snickers from a sadistic thought that popped inside of his head, but refuses to share with the world.
Goth: But Jake…, I’m sorry if I am stalling the obvious, that just like the current or soon to be former Rolette champion…. You have to understand that once I make my move to destroy you…., I will… but you will just have to take an example of another young hot flavor of the month that thinks he can alter what you and Travis could not do… stop me… eliminate me… or even worse…. Having to sit through an Alex Jones promo… ugh…
Forgive me little Alex, but seriously?? Even though I love your futile examples of how to make me shit m pants three types of color, merely seeing that entertainment is a tool of making it far in the world that needs a straight kick to the nuts and watch it spit out its final pieces of dignity and self-explanatory bullshit that you fools convince yourselves to be needing every single time that I kick the teeth out of your mouths and place it underneath the pillow before you find a gift that you have been sinfully wanting all of yourselves.
And for what excuse do you uphold to me for taking the next step towards glory?? Oh yeah, I am a sick individual… oh how quaint that I have managed to reach up the sexually transmitted comments top five of the most extremely talked about personalities of the last few weeks. Now let me pat myself on the back for a job well done.
Or is it Alex?? Because I wonder what excuse of a ramble do I need to believe?? The fact that Mackenzie believes that the only survival of advancing is that I need to be a living puppet upon the ring apron and hope for us to advance solely upon your well rounded…. Err I mean well all rounded ability to beat Devona…..
Can I just shoot myself instead of just taking this too seriously??? And then we have that has the sun complex already exposing him to a sunstroke that has got the size of the entire United Kingdom?? I wonder who is more suitable to represent themselves for a future title shot if you do not even know the meaning of to being able to talk the talk, that you have to walk the walk.
He rubs his face with the back of his hand before snorting his nose a few times before spitting out some spit.
Goth: But you were sweet though Alex, proclaiming how my career used to be a monumental reference of what I used to do…., to be the representative of the Blast from the Past and a Cinderella story?? Too bad for you the only stories I am interested about is the ones that have a happy ending and a lot of …. Now of course I’m not going to finish that sentence before little boys and girls are aware what stories adults truly like and we don’t want that now do we???
Just like you do not wish to know the truth little Alex, the truth that I am nowhere near the man that I used to be. You speak of me wanting to achieve glory one final time? To obtain just simply that championship belt from a championship that I am according to a three year old can’t beat?? That just brings the chills up and down my spine son, the thought that I am unable to touch a man that is according to you smoking hot….. please Alex…, please continue to put your simple minded mind into ashes before I burn a hole through your face with that same cigarette lighter. To open yor eyes and watch the burning desire of getting this close to obtain something huge… and yet be so far away.
He put a few fingers together to make the this close reference with them before whipping his arm backwards and hits the wall that separates the hallway to his hotel room. He pulls back his hand and stares at the reddened part of his hand from the impact that it has made with he wall.
Goth: I need this sensation to end Alex, I need this sensation of anguish to fade to black. I need to put the pain away from losing my wife and not having any possible ability to contain my sanity from losing my wife!!! Oh I’m sorry, to the world that wishes to put themselves into a position that the world is entitled to them to step aside and bask in their seemingly pathetic excuse of their unwillingness to be patient, to educate their minds before opening their mouths and say something that makes sense!!!
Oh I know these words aren’t the best guide to do so are they?? But I’ve never asked for the same stupidity that needs to be educated like yours… I’ve already done it, I’ve already seen the magic that I am THIS CLOSE!! From achieving… the direction is the same while the reasoning behind it aren’t…. just educate yourself before it’s too late little Alex… perhaps next year when the name of Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig is replaced by Scott Hall or perhaps even Jushin Thunder Liger… names that perhaps yor existence may educate you that there’s nobody perfect… except the dark eyes that are staring right into your soul and grab your throat out of it’s natural habitat and just watch it darken as quickly as my black heart…. Something that you need to understand…. One day you will…. One day Alex…, one day…..
With that the shot fades as we hear Goth’s cynical laughter
