~After Into The Void~
I lost....once again. I don't know what happened in there. I had the match well in hand, I took my eye off the ball and lost. All I could think about as I lie on the mat is not just this night's loss..but the losses compiled lately. I didn't even bother to shower...I just got my things and rode back to the hotel. I was ready to head upstairs to my hotel room. Then a familiar voice interrupted me before I could push the elevator button.
"Don't tell me you're gonna go up to your room and cry..."
I turn and look to see its none other than J2H...the last person I was expecting. He seemed to be smirking at me with that smart alecky look on his face.
Griffin Hawkins: This is not the time for this...what the hell are you even doing here anyway?
J2H: Oh just making some arrangements with Christian and Matt...nothing you need to be worried about right now...
Griffin Hawkins: Look..I'm having a really shitty night and I just want it to end..
J2H: Oh boo fucking hoo..you lost. No need for you to act all pissy. People lose all the time, shit..I lost a lot when I first started out here and I didn't get all pouty like you are now.
Griffin Hawkins: I don't really want any advice right now...
J2H: Then what are you gonna do? You gonna quit?
Griffin Hawkins: ....I never said I would quit.
J2H: Then what do you want to do?
Griffin Hawkins: I don't know! Jesus Christ, I'm still trying to figure out how to get out of this shit.
J2H: Here's a little something to think about. Remember that kid..Jack Russow or whatever his name was?
Griffin Hawkins: Yeah, what about him?
J2H: He beat you for the Roulette Title, he then claimed that he took the torch from you. And what happened tonight? In his first title defense he shit the bed against Kedron so hard that word is, he's not coming back.
Griffin Hawkins: Yeah I saw that, but what does that got to do with me?
J2H: The point I'm making here is that he was wrong about you..he thought he could replace you and he ended up choking under the pressure of being the new game in town. Kris Ryan's..yeah he got the best of you. He kicked your ass pretty good tonight, but is he better than you? He won't be unless you find a way to prove otherwise. If you want to be the World Champion, you gotta take everything that comes your way..winning, losing, everything in between. Pouting about it like the girl who got stood up at the prom is not going to get you anywhere. If you want to be World Champion...or half as good as I was..you need to fight through this shit. Otherwise you might as well join the others in the unemployment line.
In his own rude way...he did have a point. A lot of people were leaving...I didn't want to be one of them. I knew now that more than anything that I would fight to get what I want.
Griffin Hawkins: ....You're right..
J2H: I know I'm right. Best thing you can do right now...sleep on it. You'll figure out what to do in the morning. Anyways..I'm out. Later.
With that, he walked off. I went upstairs to my hotel room and went to sleep, having to think on everything that's been happening and what I have to do in the future. I know I would face a lot of challenges, but when its all said and done...I will be the World Heavyweight Champion.
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Later on that week, me and Marquis decided to formulate a plan to find the Cult of Blood. Normally it wouldn't sound so bad because it'd be just me and him. But thanks to Gideon, now he is involved as well. This partnership is starting to suck. One night me and Marquis decided that we were gonna meet up with Gideon...only problem was it was in a Cemetery. We walked along the tombstones...Marquis was his calm serious self as usual, but I was a different story.
Griffin Hawkins: Do we REALLY have to come all the way here? This place gives me the creeps.
Marquis Laveaux: When you've been around it as long as I have, you get used to it.
Griffin Hawkins: I hope I never get used to it. Why can't Gideon meet us in a pizzeria like normal people?
Marquis Laveaux: Well number one, Gideon isn't exactly normal. And number two, if we meet in a public place, we might as well be painting a huge target on our heads. This place is more discreet.
Griffin Hawkins: Just perfect...I should be at home watching some Netflix, but instead I'm playing around in the Graveyard. What a way to spend an evening.
Marquis Laveaux: I promise..this will not take long.
We keep walking past the tombstones until we come to what looks to be a Mausoleum. Marquis knocks on the doors and after a few minutes, we are greeted by Gideon.
Gideon Blackwell: Well well well...look who finally made it.
Marquis Laveaux: Hello to you too Gideon.
He then notices me.
Gideon Blackwell: Ah Griffin, you made it too..surprised Marquis pulled you away long enough from admiring yourself in a mirror.
Griffin Hawkins: At least I have a reflection...
Gideon Blackwell: Hmm..touche..
Griffin Hawkins: Look, I don't want to be here right now, so let's just get this over with already.
Gideon Blackwell: Someone's grouchy..
We walk in, I see a table set up, even an old looking TV on a small table in front of what looks to be a worn out looking recliner chair.
Griffin Hawkins: Nice digs..
Gideon Blackwell: Forgive the mess, the maid is on vacation.
Marquis Laveaux: Or you probably had her for dinner...
Griffin Hawkins: Let's not play this guessing game. I want to know what we're going to do about this cult.
Gideon Blackwell: Well...if they're going to follow us around, I saw we get them to come to us.
Marquis Laveaux: Okay that's one idea...but how do we pull it off?
Gideon Blackwell: Live bait...
Marquis Laveaux: But who do we use?
And with that...they both turn in my direction.
Griffin Hawkins:....oh hell no.
Marquis Laveaux: Well it does make perfect sense..if it were me and Gideon, they'd obviously see it as a trap.
Griffin Hawkins: Are you high!? I am NOT going to be used as some decoy. What if I get killed out there?
Gideon Blackwell: I'm sure people will get over it 5 seconds later..
Griffin Hawkins: Very funny asshole. Why don't we get Kedron's help in this?
Gideon Blackwell: Bad idea. He is too brash and will charge in without thinking. And when that happens he's easy pickings for the book.
Griffin Hawkins: So I gotta be bait...perfect..
Gideon Blackwell: You lucky dog..
He gives a sly smile...he had to be enjoying this.
Marquis Laveaux: Look, we're not gonna let anything happen to you. They targeted you first right? So that means they are gonna come for you. That's when we'll get them.
Griffin Hawkins: What are you gonna do then? Kill them?
Gideon Blackwell: Well it has been a while since I've spilled some blood...
Marquis Laveaux: No...we're not going to kill them. We can't get any info out of them if they are dead can we? We'll bring one of them back and then we'll get an answer out of them.
Gideon Blackwell: Oh and interrogation? This promises to be fun...
Marquis Laveaux: Do whatever you can to get some info out of them.
Griffin Hawkins: ...can I be present? I always wanted to interrogate somebody.
Marquis Laveaux: ...fine. But you gotta be the one who draws them in.
This was likely going to be the most dangerous situation I ever been involved with...having to draw out some deranged cult members...who's to say they wouldn't get me before Marquis and Gideon get there in time? What have I gotten myself into?...
-------------------------------------------
~Many years ago~
Living the life of a rock star can be a wild and crazy time for just about anybody. Waking up in a new town with no memory of what you did the night before...sometimes waking up in jail...having to deal with the sleazy record execs, and still having to prepare to give the show of a lifetime.
But you can't have all this and not have some action on the side.
I was with a girl who would often come see me at my shows, Trixie McGee. Blonde hair, dressed from head to toe in denim..a rocker's dream come true. We had a lot of things in common...music, movies..
Most of all...drugs.
I had a show in Detroit and arrived a day early with Trixie. We had planned on having our idea of fun right after my performance. As I was in the hotel, I went and got ourselves some ice from downstairs to go with the Champagne. But as I got back, I noticed Trixie was a little bit loopy.
Griffin Hawkins: Oh for fuck's sake Trixie...don't tell me you started early...
She just laughed at me, likely not even sure where she is.
Trixie McGee: Come on Griffy Bear...you know I can't help myself. It's not like I took it all....
Griffin Hawkins: I know babe..but I wanted to save that for after the show tomorrow...
Trixie McGee: Why wait? Take some now...
Griffin Hawkins: No, I actually want to be normal for tomorrow...I don't want to hit my peak at my performance and stumble off stage again.
Trixie McGee: Don't be such a baby...its only a little..
Griffin Hawkins: Maybe after....right now I just want to relax.
I lie on the bed beside her as she rests her head on my chest.
Trixie McGee: What are you thinking of?...
Griffin Hawkins: Having the most kick ass performance tomorrow night, and afterwards we have time just to ourselves.
A smile comes across her face.
Trixie McGee: I am so glad you said that...because I was thinking afterwards I can slip into that little gift I got for myself at Victoria's Secret and we can really have ourselves a time..
Griffin Hawkins: Love the sound of that..for now...let's just rest...
I give her a kiss as we fall asleep. The next morning I wake up, stretching a little as the sunlight peers on my face.
Griffin Hawkins: Rise and shine baby...
I go and give Trixie a nudge, only I don't get a response.
Griffin Hawkins: Come on, we gotta go...
Still nothing...
Griffin Hawkins: ....Trixie?
I go and turn her around, her eyes are open..but its as if she's not moving or breathing.
Griffin Hawkins: Oh my God...Trixie...Trixie wake up! Wake up!
I begin shaking her lifeless frame..only to hear no answer from her.
Griffin Hawkins: Come on baby please! Please wake up!
I was starting to freak out. My yelling seemed to have alerted one of my band mates as they came into the hotel room.
Chip Zanuff: Whats going on?
Griffin Hawkins: She's not fucking breathing!
Chip Zanuff: Oh shit...
Griffin Hawkins: Get an ambulance!
He runs out and calls for help. In time me and Chip make it to the hospital as she is rolled away on a stretcher into a back room. I sit in the waiting room with Mongo. We were both silent as we waited for the doctor's results. Soon the Doctor came out to us. We immediately stood up.
Dr.Zenner: ...Mr.Hawkins...I'm terribly sorry...but I'm afraid we couldn't revive her.
Griffin Hawkins: ....No.....
Chip Zanuff: Do you...even know how she died?..
Dr.Zenner: It's believed to be a Heroin overdose.
It then hit me...not only was she gone, but I could've taken that heroin with her and I'd end up dying as well. I just sink in my chair...emotionless.
Chip Zanuff: ....Griff....
I say nothing...realizing that things have taken a turn for the worst. I lost someone I care about to drugs and addiction...this was my wakeup call. I needed to go to rehab and get clean, otherwise it would be me that doesn't wake up the next morning. If I had taken the heroin with Trixie...I would not be here today.
--------------------------------------------
Cameras come to the bottom of the stairs of the arena where I sit at the bottom of step, dressed in black jeans and a Nirvana T-Shirt. I just sit...thinking on everything. I don't even look at the camera as I begin to speak.
"I lost....all the lights on me, all the people watching....and I lost. It seems that's all I've been doing lately, losing. I lost my Roulette Title, I lost to Jake Raab, and I lost to Kris Ryans at Into The Void. It feels as if I am on a downward spiral..I don't blame anyone but myself, but I am not sure how this has happened. in 2019 I was on top of the world....then in 2020, I fall. For the first time ever in SCW I am in a slump. It feels as if nothing is going right for me, everywhere I turn I hit a wall...I get sent back to square one. I don't know what to do at this point..."
I then raise my head up.
"But one of those answers is NOT leaving. That seems to be the easiest thing to do, hell it seems to be what EVERYONE is doing these days. Some are going home because they have issues to work out outside of this sport which is understandable..and others who shall remain nameless are packing it in and going home because they can't handle the heat or the criticism that is thrown their way..so they decide to just tuck their tail between their legs and run home like a bunch of scared little bitches. Me...I am not going home. I am here to stay. I promised when I came back to Sin City Wrestling, that I would leave on my own terms. I came back for one thing and that's to become Sin City Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion..and if I gotta take some losses along the way, so be it. But the one thing I'm not gonna do is leave..I'll always remain here. You're gonna need to call the Swat Team or the United States Marines to come...because there is no way in hell I'm going. In 2019 I set the trends..I wrecked shop everywhere...I pissed off the world when people told me that I was a has been and that my time in SCW is over. They said I was a has been, but I changed the game. I may be in a slump but I am still here, and before God and everything sacred, I swear I will do everything I can to become a 7 Time World Heavyweight Champion."
My determination has been burning brighter than ever in the last few days.
"As we speak, Kris Ryans and O'Malley are having their little cat fight on social media...both arguing over which one's gonna win, if O'Malley loses this match..whatever whatever. They are carrying on like two jilted lovers. Up until now I remained silent...and then Bill Barnhart tweets that this is gonna be a fun match. Well this is interesting. Let's start with Billy "Don't Be A Hero" Barnhart. This is a guy that I take seriously...despite him staying up all night and posting weird pictures from Google and using outdated catchphrases from TV shows that are almost as old as he is. He mentioned before that the wrestlers in this company are pathetic compared to him. Why is that Bill? Because you were Champion in some second rate promotion that closed down and you made promises to pick up where you left off but failed to deliver? Could it be that when you and your wife go out to dinner they think you're her Dad and she's your daughter? Or could it be the fact that your own Dog is more popular than both of you put together? No seriously I want to know. What makes you so much better than us? What have you accomplished here in SCW? Nothing."
I slowly remove my dark sunglasses as I look to the camera.
"I know what you're probably thinking Bill. You probably think just because I'm in a slump that I'm just going to be easy pickings for you...that you're just gonna roll through me just like that. But here's the honest truth...and this isn't me sounding cocky Bill. Even on my worst day..you couldn't take me. In fact, last time we shared a ring together and there was a title on the line, you straight up got your ass kicked. You talked a good game about how you've been in every type of match on the Roulette Wheel..but when the time came to deliver, you came up short....which I'm sure Bea is very used to. But seriously Bill, you can post all the goofy ass pictures you stayed up all night to find on the internet, make all the jokes that are funny only to you..you can do all of that. But I am focused on winning this match and being one step closer to becoming the Undisputed Champion. You painting yourself up as a clown is fitting..because if you wanna act like a clown...then the joke will be on you when you're left laying flat on your back like some cheap prostitute. You already shit the bed when you came up against Austin James Mercer in the Internet Title Match..and now this will be just another lost opportunity that passed you by."
I tilt my head back against the wall.
"I do give you one thing Bill. You have something in this match that neither myself or O'Malley has...a victory over Kris Ryans. And Kris can say that he wasn't ready..he wasn't prepared or any other excuse he'll throw out on social media to save face. So it is possible for you to get one win. But it might not be so easy for you if you're surrounded by three of the best in the industry today. Honestly, I don't see you taking me down early in this match...mainly because your ego is bigger than your stomach. And I really don't care if you defeated Satan, or God, or the Queen of England or the Sheriff of Mayberry or god knows whoever you faced in that rinky dink Mexican company. This is SCW. And if you think you're just going to bulldoze over the competition here, using us as sacrificial lambs, then you're actually dumber than you look...and that's a stretch. So enjoy gulping down that big Coke..because you're gonna need the energy for this match. Get in my way Bulldog...and I'll send you back to Obedience School.
I crack my knuckles, feeling like I'm on a roll.
"We then come to our next contest for this game...O'Malley...Dublin Ireland's gift to Sin City and the Underground Champion. Him and Kris were pretty much having a dick measuring contest on social media while I just sat back and watched the whole show. But he seems to be too preoccupied with other things. He seems to be more focused on Mark Cross. Now I can understand having issues with him...but his downfall is that he is more worried about things outside this match, not grasping what is in front of him. O'Malley has already lost, he just doesn't realize it yet. Whether it be getting into petty squabbles with Kris on twitter, or worrying about the biggest threat to his title....he is not one hundred percent focused on this match."
A small laugh escapes my mouth.
"I hand it to you Malley...you are indeed an impressive sight. You even managed to get yourself some gold in the process. But with the way you're acting now, will you last as a champion?
You're already questioning yourself on social media if you want this...and you're allowing Kris Ryan's to get under your skin. It's clear that you can't win the mental game...but can you win the physical one? Jack Russow buckled under the pressure when he was Roulette Champion, always second guessing himself like you are now. Do you really want to follow in his footsteps? This is not the time for you to doubt yourself or your abilities my friend..this is for something big. A title match anytime you want during the year 2020....sure, if you lose this, you'll still be Champion, you won't go home empty handed. But being in the ring with three hungry competitors who want nothing more than to be on top of the mountain and losing, that will be a loss that you will have to deal with."
I didn't want to sell O'Malley short, he is someone who may even be a bigger threat than Kris or Bill in this match.
"You and me never really had any problems as long as we were in the same company O'Malley. You got the same heart and desire that I do to become the World Champion one day. Like me, you were in a match with Austin James Mercer, and you got your bell rang..but like a man, you picked yourself up and got back in the game. That is admirable, I admit that. But it pains me that I have to run through you with the horsepower of a locomotive on the road to the biggest prize in the game. Can you imagine what it would be like if it were just you and me standing while Barnhart and Ryans are incapacitated? Two pure athletes fighting for the chance to take that faithful step to realizing their dream. But I'm a business man Mr.O'Malley, and my business is to crush the dreams of yours and stop you from ascending the ladder before me. It's time for us to lock up. So wrap up that four leaf clover, because I'm coming to give you a taste of heavy metal."
I slowly get up.
"It's unfortunate that you lost your chance to become King For The Day. I can only imagine what you were planning to do on that day....like I dunno, free drinks for all...a bouncy castle in each locker room...or maybe a line to kick Bill Barnhart in the dick....course all that is what I would've wanted if I were in that match and won. I don't know what you had planned...but this is your chance to make it all better. Winning this fatal four way....course that is easier said than done. Because you are gonna be in the ring with me, with Kris, and with Barnhart. You got your work cut out for you. I do indeed consider you one of the biggest threats in this match, because you are looking for a shot at redemption like I am. And with your motivation...that makes you more dangerous. I just hope those Irish eyes will be smiling...because I am looking to put you to sleep."
I then put my hands in my pockets.
"We then come to the final piece of the puzzle...Kris Ryans. He seems to be riding high over his victory at Into The Void. In fact, he already predicted victory here. Man...such arrogance. You should know by now Kris that it doesn't matter how high you are, you can take a major fall. Your brother knows that for sure, I figured he would have taught you something like that...but on twitter you act as if it's a given that you are going to win this fatal four way and have a title match of your choosing within the year. Well, you had that same arrogance against your other opponent Bill Barnhart and you took him lightly...he ended up beating your ass right in the center of the ring.
You'd think you'd learn from all of that, but it's as if you have a hard time learning lessons. Well, it looks like I'm gonna have to take a slow learner and give him a lesson that he is never going to forget."
I begin to pace.
"I admit...you did beat me Kris. But does that make you better than me? No. It only makes you the better man on that night. One day we will lock up once again and the outcome might be different the next time. But has it made me second guess my resolve to become World Champion? No it hasn't. Because along the way I will come across bumps in the road..but I'm not gonna do the easiest thing and quit like everyone else is doing these days. The truth of the matter is Kris...you don't decide my fate...you don't write my story...you don't determine where I go in my future here in Sin City Wrestling...only I do. I am the one who decides my future...not you. And in this Fatal Four Way I am going to fight until there is nobody left standing but me. And then it will be my turn to gloat."
Winning the match of course was important...but I also wanted to shut Kris' mouth.
"On Social Media you act as if its a forgone conclusion that you are going to win the Fatal Four Way. I find that odd...because in your promo some weeks ago you called me a legend..someone who's been there, someone who has been all over the world, proving all the doubters wrong who said that I couldn't do it. But recently you know what you've turned into? A hypocrite. You act like the same people who told you to your face that you're not going to amount to a damn thing in this business. You should know me well enough like you say you do that I always overcome adversity no matter what is thrown at me. You've beaten me...yes you did...but that victory itself is going to your head. Because one day...you're gonna go through your own personal slump. You're gonna be the one who's angry and is questioning everything. You've gone to the dark side before...who's to say that you won't go there again?"
I look straight at the camera, holding up three fingers.
"Three losses...that's what's on my record Kris. Many are saying that I'm at my most vulnerable and this is the time to strike. To me..three losses is unacceptable. Disappointment is unacceptable. Anything but victory is unacceptable. People are asking me what's it going to take to make it through this fatal four way? They ask..what's it going to take to neuter that flea bitten puppy dog bitch Bill Barnhart? What's it going to take to knock the Irish out of O'Malley? What's it going to take to shut Kris Ryan's mouth? What's it going to take to fight three people in this four way who want this just as bad as me? Well the truth is, I want this more than life itself Kris. I want to become the World Heavyweight Champion at all costs. I want victory, I want reassurance that I am the best athlete in the sport today..and I want to do it by going through you. Three losses is something that I'm not proud of..but it's something I want to remedy. I have a chance to turn it all around when I walk into this Fatal Four Way. If I go down...I'll make sure that I take the whole lot of you with me. But if you're left Kris?...You're gonna get rocked."
With that, I walk down the hallway as the camera crew pack it in for the night.
