[Christian Underwood]

 Post all Supercard roleplays here.

Roleplay limits: 1 roleplay per week, 10,000 words maximum

Good luck!  

[Andrew]

 FORTUNE

Narrator  If there is one thing Bill Barnhart hates it is being blindsided by others and then for something he feels strongly against.

OFF CAMERA

* This is a presentation of a video taken prior to the quarantine requested by Sin City Wrestling to have their staff and wrestlers remain in Las Vegas. This situation took place about a month before the Corona Virus thing was known. *

We get a shot of Bea Barnhart  driving their car in Atlanta, Georgia. Bill Barnhart is sitting in the passenger seat. Iris is not with them so we make the assumption they are going to a location where pets are not allowed inside so they left her at their home in Lawrenceville, Georgia.

Bill:  You have not told me where we are going. You know I do not like surprises or being blindsided. I like knowing ahead of time what is going on.

Bea:  Chill out Bill. You will enjoy this trip. It will be fun.

Bill:  The last time you surprised me by taking me to somewhere you promised would be fun and exciting we ended up dining at a Sushi restaurant. Why would you think I would enjoy eating fish, and raw fish at that, when you know I do not like eating seafood? Yeah, uh huh, I can already tell this current trip is gonna be a bust.

Bea:  We are here! Let me park the car and we can get inside and let the fun begin!

Bill and Bea exit the car and Bea leads Bill around the corner to the front of the business they are visiting. Bill sees the FORTUNE TELLER sign on the front of the building and he quickly turns and tries to make a getaway. Bea grabs him by the arm and drags him inside the Fortune Teller business. While waiting for someone to serve them Bill continues with his negative comments.

Bill:  Why did you bring me here? You know Fortune Tellers are scammers who just want to take your money. They have no clue what they are doing and for sure they do not know the future. If they could see the future then why are they not all Millionaires living in huge mansions due to knowing the Lottery numbers ahead of time? No they are poor and they rip off  honest people like us so that they can pay their rent and have food to eat. If anyone could really see into the future they would use it for their financial gain.

Bea: Stop the negative thoughts Bill. Try to have fun with this.

As Bill and Bea are talking a woman walks out from the back room. She has blonde hair and she is wearing a blue outfit and a blue head covering and she is wearing blue and white jewelry. She introduces herself.



Miss Starzz:  I am Miss Starzz and I will be telling you what your future will be. I am one of the best fortune tellers in the world and I can see into the future. And who might you two be?

Bea:  We are. . .

Bea is cut off by Bill.

Bill:  Not so fast! Do not say anything else Bea! Listen up Miss Starzz if you were able to see into the future, and you claim that you see all and know all, then you already know who we are. The fact that Bea set an appointment for this time slot, and we are standing in front of you, and you have no clue who we are, proves you are a scammer and cannot see your reflection in the mirror let alone the future! I am outta here Bea!

Bea looks apologetically toward Miss Starzz.

Bea:  Sorry about this Miss Starzz. We have to leave but maybe we can do this another time.

Bill:  NO!!! There will never be another time to get scammed by people like Miss Starzz!

Bill rushes for the door with Bea close behind them. They walk down the sidewalk to where their car is parked, get in, and Bea drives off to return to their home in Lawrenceville, Georgia.

* End of presentation of a video taken prior to the quarantine requested by Sin City Wrestling to have their staff and wrestlers remain in Las Vegas. This situation took place about a month before the Corona Virus thing was known. *

ON CAMERA

The scene shifts to Bill and Bea Barnhart inside the Golden Ring Casino but Iris is not with them at this time. Bill and Bea walk around the Casino and they ask someone where the wrestling ring will be set up for Blaze of Glory VIII and they are directed to the location. Bill and Bea stand at the entrance to this room to present comments for the match Bill has with Senor Vinnie on April 12, 2020. Bill is in his normal casual attire consisting of blue jeans, a black pullover shirt, and black athletic shoes. Bea is wearing black slacks, a white blouse, and black shoes.

Bill:  Guess what today is? It is April 1st and that means it is April Fool’s Day and today I get to address two fools named Senor Vinnie and Pete the Cactus.  In a little over one week I will step into the wrestling ring, in this room, against Senor Vinnie. This match came about when I was trying to have an intelligent and logical discussion with Vinnie that when he defeated me in our precious match that Pete the Cactus could have A dinner date with Iris our English Bulldog. The way we interpret A is that it means ONE so in our opinion one date means one date. But, no, Senor Vinnie allowed Pete the Cactus to continually harass and stalk Iris for more and more dates. Iris, not being the most intelligent English Bulldog in the litter, is not able to comprehend what Pete is doing to her. At Climax Control 265 everyone saw that our polite conversation about Pete and Iris having numerous dates quickly deteriorated to where I was about to beat the beejeebers out of Vinnie but he gave me a shot and we separated for a time. Later we had another altercation which led to this grudge match at Blaze of Glory VIII.

Bea:  Maybe Vinnie needs to visit a Fortune Teller so they can look into his future and explain to him how he is going to lose this match to you and how badly you are going to beat him down.

Bill:  For damn sure I do not need to consult a Fortune Teller, Tarot Cards, an Astrology chart, or visit a Voodoo Lady, to know that I am going to hurt  you so much Vinnie. The damage I inflict on you will be so much that you will either retire from wrestling or you will take several months off from wrestling to recuperate from the damage I inflict on you.

Bea:  I wish to issue a warning to Pete the Cactus. If you confront Iris during the match, or you harass her, or in any way interfere in the match, the next thing you will know is that you have been processed to become an ingredient in a soap bar or sunscreen. Both of us have had enough of you being a sexual pervert and sexually harassing Iris. If you want to bring it on and bring it to me and Iris I will ensure that the Paramedics bring you to the Intensive Care Unit of the nearest hospital.

Bill:  Or to the nearest processing plant for Pete the Cactus so they can turn him into an ingredient for soap or sunscreen. Ha ha ha! Listen up Vinnie. I do not want to hurt you and Pete but you two took advantage of our low-intelligence Bulldog Iris and that goes beyond disgusting. When I screamed at you that I wish I could get you into a match to end this feud and end the dating between Pete and Iris you immediately accepted. You could have said no but you did not. So on the line in this match is not just our pride but the respect and dignity of Iris. If you win, but you will not, then the dating between Pete and Iris is allowed to continue. When I win, and I will, the dating between Pete and Iris ends immediately upon the announcement of my victory over you.

Bea:  Thanks for joining us for our presentation.

Bea informs the cameraman they are done with their comments for today. The camera feed is cut and the screen goes dark.

[SenorVinnie]

 The Pete Quest part one

Senor Vinnie can be seen in his hotel room, staring through the window to the outside as he is conversing with his friend Pete.

Senor Vinnie: I know Pete, you have told me that you want some Burrito’s, but sadly they do not make burrito’s in this hotel. Also, there’s no Taco Bell open at this moment and you know why that is no??

Pete:……

Vinnie sighs, he knows that Pete can be very stubborn. He has been this way since the whole situation escalated between him and the pet dog from Bill Barnhart Iris. Bill once again has a match with Senor Vinnie and if Vinnie loses he can no longer date Iris.

Pete: ……

Senor Vinnie: I KNOW!!! How many times do you have to repeat yourself?? It’s like I am living with an annoying parrot.

He puts his ands to his ears, trying to ignore the apparent verbal assault from is best friend. But for some reason he cannot as he runs towards the bedroom and walks back out with two pillows tied up to his head.

Senor Vinnie: Try saying something now pete!!!!

He screams towards his cactus as he waits in anticipation.

Pete; …..

Senor Vinnie: What do you mean someone is knocking on the door??? I did not hear anything?? Wait…, if I cannot ear that, then why do I hear you???

He takes off the pillows and he hears a soft knock, he sighs. Apparently Pete has got such a grip on him that even with all the protection to his ears that he can still master up a way to make Vinnie hear him.

Senor Vinnie: Who is it???

Voice: It’s me…, Willow. You asked for an in depth intervie. I….,

Vinnie sighs, he has forgotten about this. The stress of what Pete has putten on him the last few days has been unbearable. He shakes his head, takes a few deep breaths and then unlocks the door

Senor Vinnie: Wait a few moments Willow, I have to walk away from the door so we have enough space between us before you enter.

Willow: Okay

Vinnie walks over to the other side of the room and then sits down on the couch before sighing once more.

Senor Vinnie: You may enter Willow…,

The door opens, we see Pussy Willow enter the room as she stares at the former SCW heavyweight champion and notices something about him.

Willow: Vinnie?? You look tired, are you okay???

Vinnie sighs as he shakes his head.

Senor Vinnie: What can I say Willow?? I am on a rebound after losing my title. I have had several matches and only lost once. I was looking for something big to get myself back in contention and all that is left is him.

He points at Pete, who is jumping up and down on the table next to him.

Willow: Pete???

Senor Vinnie: He keeps me up all night screaming for Iris, during the day I cannot get behind my computer to skype with my wife thanks to him.

Willow: Because???

Vinnie looks baffled towards illow, clearly not believing that she does not know why Pete is so annoying lately. He stares at his friend and raise his hands in the air.

Senor Vinnie; Can you believe that Pete?? She does not know why you have been like this the entire week.

Pete suddenly stops jumping, turns his attention Willow and then starts to jump again viciously

Pete: ……

Senor Vinnie sighs as he turns his attention to Willow.

Senor Vinnie: You have done it now Willow

Willow: Uhm… okay??? What did I do now???

Senor Vinnie: He has told me that you shouldn’t parade your female looks around him seeing how he is missing Iris. It may distract him too much!!!

Willow: But…,

Senor Vinnie: And to be honest?? I have to admit that he is right, I mean I have to put my career on the line and you just come out and wiggle your curves around him?? Couldn’t you be a bit more sensitive for his feelings?

Willow’s face is clueless, her mouth is wide open without any sound coming out of it.

Senor Vinnie: You know that this is very rude not to respond when someone is telling you something wouldn’t you agree???

Willow realizes that she has to answer and gets really pissed.

Willow: You are a hypocrite Vinnie!! You asked me to come here for an interview and now you are telling me that…..

Senor Vinnie sighs

Senor Vinnie: That’s merely a point of view Willow. You could have still thought about his broken heart right?? I mean he has been like….. errr…..

He turns his attention to Pete.

Senor Vinnie: How many nights have it been already???

Pete: …..

Senor Vinnie: It’s already been six days!! And I know you must be thinking, what is six days to a lifetime?? But you have to realize that a few seconds seems like a lifetime to Pete. He has issues figuring out a clock on the wall. He thinks that sixty days has passed.

Willow: I…..

Senor Vinnie: NO!!! you need to listen!! I have been hearing him beg and moan for a snapshot of Iris, of him asking when Bill walks his dog so he could watch it on. www.ilovewatchingiris.com . And I have to tell him that this site does not exist!! Can you believe that??!!!

Willow: Wel…,

Senor Vinnie: Of course not!! You are just being hired to get some responses of some knucklehead that thinks he can win some match. But I am Senor Vinnie, the man that had the biggest night of his career on a boat!! I am the man that has been champion over 100 days and I am now being reverted to petting Pete every single night since Bill is a prick!!! Now how could this be fair??? Tell me!! I already beat Bill and now I get this??

Willow: I….

Senor Vinnie: No you listen to me Willow, you only speak when I ask you to.

Willow: But you asked me something. I….

Senor Vinnie: That’s besides the point!! It was just merely rhetorical, I assumed you being a n interviewer should at least know what that means right???

She is silent

Senor Vinnie: RIGHT???!!!

Willow: Oh you want me to an….

Senor Vinnie: Why are you talking!!!?? It’s me being the one that is losing his mind you know!!!

Willow gets up and walks off as Vinnie follows her to the door.

Senor Vinnie: Are you leaving?? Why are you leaving?? Are you leaving?? I…

Willow leaves the room and enters the elevator as Vinnie turns his attention to Pete.

Senor Vinnie: I can’t believe this, she just left. She is apparently very sensitive

Vinnie shakes his head as he closes the door as this causes the shot to end.

Commercial

The Pete Quest part 2

Senor Vinnie is in the bathroom as he is in the bathtub relaxing, his hair is draped across his face as his face is covered with water.

Senor Vinnie: Finally, no more Pete nagging me. It’s been such a hectic week and I….

Halfway the sentence we suddenly see Pete emerging from the bathtub as he is wearing a scooba gear. Vinnie’s eyes are almost bulging out of his head as he sees his friend emerge from the water.

Senor Vinnie: What the….

He wipes his eyes with his soaped hands before grabbing a towel and wipes it clean, he looks where he saw Pete and notices that he is nowhere to be seen.

Senor Vinnie: I am almost losing my mind…..

He notices the camera and his demeanor gets to be an angry one.

Senor Vinnie: And that’s YOUR fault Bill…, I mean seriously?? Who are you to make demands when you cannot even beat some punk ass 5000 year old graveyard robber. I mean seriously, he should not even be on this show and here he is…. He is almost as annoying as Pete. I already have beaten you, I have already secured the right for Pete to date your dog… for whatever reason why. I mean I was already happy that he was stalking Belinda Sione…, I was happy with him doing some fake calls to some bombshells and hung up on them as they apparently could not hear him. Can you imagine that???

But that’s besides the point, the main issue I have is you senor Bill…. You are some idiot that apparently has the capability just to remember the good things in life and take all the bad stuff and put them in a blender and somehow lie about anything. I am sure that you are unable to really understand what I am talking about, but who cares???

Nobody Perro…., that’s right. I call you perro, because that means dog and that’s what you are all about aren’t you?? I am sure that YOU even don’t know what you are all about… but you need to understand something Perro…. But you have to understand Bill, I am not fighting for me… I am fighting to free Pete and have him finally get to second base or whatever it was what he was telling me the other night when I attempted to ignore him. But it’s your fault that he is unhappy, it’s your fault that I have to fight a loser like you… and it’s your fault that after this next show you will realize that you suffer big time and that I will tell you is my pleasure….. so until next week….

With that the shot fades

[Andrew]

 D’OH!

Narrator:  D’OH! is an exclamation uttered by Homer Simpson when he has done something stupid and realizes he has done something stupid. Unfortunately most people, Senor Vinnie and Pete the Cactus included, rarely realize when they have done something stupid.

We meet up with Bill Barnhart, along with his wife and Manager Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, in their hotel room at the Saxon Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada. The three are sitting on the couch waiting for the cameraman to inform them they are broadcasting. Once the cameraman informs them they are broadcasting Bill and Bea launch into their comments.

Bill:  Thank you for joining us today. We are in our hotel room, at the Saxon Hotel, in Las Vegas, Nevada, getting ready for Blaze of Glory VIII at the Golden Ring Casino. At this event I have a grudge match against Senor Vinnie. In this match I will either end the wrestling career of Senor Vinnie, for him allowing Pete the Cactus to sexually harass Iris, or I will injure him so badly he will consider retirement.

Bea:  Although I am upset that Vinnie and Pete violated the one-date rule that took place between Pete the Cactus and Iris due to you losing the previous match against Senor Vinnie I am not sure having the desire to end the wrestling career of Vinnie is the way you should enter this match. Then again Vinnie does have the habit of claiming no responsibility for the actions of Pete the Cactus when we all know he is the puppet master controlling Pete.

Bill:  I fully blame Senor Vinnie for the behavior of Pete the Cactus. Pete is Vinnie’s puppet. Vinnie you have your hand up Pete’s ass making Pete move and talk. You have done nothing to stop Pete the Pervert from bribing Iris with food so that he can take advantage of her. Both of you know Iris is an easy mark when it comes to bribing her with food. You know what Vinnie? I don’t care that you believe since Iris and Pete are adults, in their respective ages for a Cactus and an English Bulldog, that they can do what they want. What you are missing, Vinnie, is that Iris does not have much in the way of comprehending abilities but she does know food when she sees it. Pete is taking advantage of the food desires of Iris to sexually harass and abuse Iris and you have done nothing to stop it because you are controlling Pete the Puppet.

Bea:  When you put it that way I see why you feel the way you do.

Bill:  Vinnie and Pete I wish to have you look at something. I know you are aware who Homer Simpson is and what his favorite exclamation is. For your benefit, so both of you have a graphic representation what I am discussing, I ask the Network to put up on the screen the first graphic I sent to them.

The Network puts up the first graphic.



After leaving the two graphics on the screen long enough for everyone to look at them again the Network cuts the camera feed and the screen goes black.

[Goth]

 Fat guy walks into the store today….. part one


the shot opens in the lobby of the hotel that Vinnie is staying in, he is sitting on a lounge sofa while eating bonbons. He is wearing a rather unusual wig above his head and a rather colorful red blouse. He has his legs crossed as his left leg is wiggling up and down rather frantically.

Senor Vinnie: I wonder when Al is coming home

Vinnie snorts is nose rather loudly before spitting it behind the lounge sofa that he is sitting in before putting another bonbon in is mouth before the camera turns to the sound of someone saying knock knock. When the camera turns around we get to see the image of legendary sitcom actor Ed O’Neil, who stars in the show Modern Family, but became popular with the show Married With Children as he portrayed Al Bundy.

AL: Fat guy came into the store today….

Vinnie looks up and rolls his eyes before extending is arm and makes the money sign with his hand, Ed takes off the jacket and pretends to hang it up on the door as he always did in the sitcom, but for this improvisation he uses a waiter who is clueless to what is going on.

Al: What’s that Peg??? You want to hear more from my work??? I am glad you asked. Because tis fat guy was not only fat, but really annoying. He told me about is dog being harassed by a cactus, that I told him that if he needs to check whether he has a sun burn, because is ass is so fat that the entire state of Illinois as not seen anything remotely close to daylight in a century.

Senor Vinnie: Look Al, I understand that working in a shoe store causes you to meet all kind of interesting people Al. But why would I care???

Vinnie smiles as e enters another bonbon inside is mouth as eh chews on it  while Al looks at Vinnie as we have grown accustomed to in the past.

Al: Nag all you want Peg, but you won’t get my good mood down.

Senor Vinnie: Want to bet???ler

Al: No Peg, you see… this was a fat guy!! Normally I would see women that would make you look attractive. But tis guy was so lost in is mind that I even tricked him into paying money for women’s shoes.

Senor Vinnie: You got money Al?

Vinnie’s imitation of Peggy Bundy is spotless, immediately jumping up and down of joy for the prospect of spending his ell earned money.

Al: Seize you vulture!!! Before I will kill you with your own bonbons!!! An overdose would be sufficient enough!! But no Peg, he wanted to buy women’s shoes. A man that thinks he knows women shoes is just like being a pro wrestler that thinks he can beat my favorite wrestler Senor Vinnie

Vinnie stares at the camera and gives a big wink before turning back into is role

Senor Vinnie: Yea whatever Al, now give me te money.

Al: No, not  ow Peg not even when you force me to have sex with you. This guy was legit, he was as annoying as Marcy. And we both know how annoying she is when she opens her mouth?? This guy would make her look like a saint. All he could ask me was if I had shoes in dog sizes.

Senor Vinnie: Interesting………

He rolls is eyes while saying that.

Al: Saying that if his dog ad shoes that she would kick some other dude’s cactus. Now I figured that he was like those guys who soccer instead of real men’s sports.

Senor Vinnie: Like playing football like you did Al???

Al chuckles at te comment.

Al: Close Peg, but not close enough. No I meant pro wrestling. Because if he would had to face Senor Vinnie, e would squash his ass like a bug. Come to think about it, if e were to face Senor Vinnie I hope he would be wearing my shoes I sold him. I mean even though it would mean bad publicity it still would mean publicity for my shoe store Peg.

Senor Vinnie: I doubt Bill would…

Al waves him off as e starts to rub is chin.

Al: I mean if the next time he would visit my shoe store, I could try to pretend like I would are about all the bull shhit that he has to offer while giving him the shirt to wear to the ring of my NOPTT

Vinnie raises is eyebrow

Senor Vinnie: NOPTT?

Al: Yeah Peg, you know!!  Te National Organization of Pete That is allowed To date Iris!!!!

Al has a huge smile upon his face before storming off wile rambling on about something as the camera turns to Vinnie who stares into the camera and sigs…

Senor Vinnie: Like Bill would attempt me to say…. D’OH!!!!

With that the shot fades to a commercial break.


Fat guy walks into the store today….. part two


We come back later as we see Vinnie taking off the wardrobe that he had worn earlier for the Peggy Bundy imitation except for the wig. He turns around and spots the camera zooming in on him.

Senor Vinnie: Yeah that’s right, Bill isn’t the only one that can work stupidity to his benefit. The only difference is that I can bring in the actual talent that made a show instead of stealing some picture of a cartoon show that has been good for decades and yet a mere follow up of many other great shows that came before it.

He chuckles as he takes off the fake earrings that were apparently underneath the huge wig.

Senor Vinnie: Difference is that I am incapable of bringing Archie and Edith Bunker back to life to show how many times you can use profanity to show the world that you actually don’t like someone. So when Ed volunteered his services to show the world that he is far more than a cartoon character that knew a one word liner that made him famous I couldn’t resist. I mean seriously Bill, I know that your current brain capacity does not allow you to register more than a few words at a time, so I am aware that I am asking a lot of your Commodore floppy disk drive memory capacity of an astounding 64k capacity. But it’s quite simple to think about it…, I have beaten you already and Pete had sown the seeds of amore….

That’s Spanish for love you idiot, something that an all round and well diverse wrestler like you would understand isn’t it?? And if you are incapable of doing so, I know at least that Bea would write it down for you in Lego blocks in how you would grasp it tat you are an idiot.

He chuckles.

Senor Vinnie: So it was one date, so it was meant to never happen again!! But that’s just like the legacy of LeBron James, he wasn’t meant to lose so many NBA finals in is quest to become the GOAT of the NBA. And yet it’s a blemish upon his buttocks that even HE cannot remove. So who is selfish now Bill??? Putting the love of Pete’s life on the line to soothe your own needs to be relevant. Seriously Bill, why don’t you just go play some card game and walk home naked with nothing on just a thong. Because what I have heard you like that kind of shit very much hu??? And don’t start to ask how I know? I just know!!! For crying out loud, Iris is in love with Pete… let me spell that for ya!! P…. E….T…. E…. in love with Pete!!! It’s why she went on so many dates and the only thing that you could think about was your own career.

That’s right Bill, because finally people start to notice you, people finally started to come up to you and ask you questions. Something that only has happened when you hired extra’s to come up to you and still confuse you with Mojo Jojo of the Power Puff Girls. I mean that monkey has got just as sensitive words to say in one episode like you in your entire career!!!

And those questions were not about you huh Bill? Something that bugged you for quite some time that YOUR dog made you relevant. Not some over aged, failure of being a comedy caper with his HAR HAR HAR fake laugh that makes everyone want to puke in disgust. You are just pathetic and you want to face this former world champion who as held that title wit dignity longer tan it takes you to figure out that some fucking lady who looks into a crystal bowl is a fraud??? Son, I can look onto my watch and I can tell you that it is time for you to shut up and pack your backs!! You want to end my career while sticking it to Pete to never date Iris again?? Senor Bill, if I wanted to listen to relevant promo’s, I would listen to the reruns of Family Ties where Alex Keaton thought that he was the gift to every person in the world… only tor realize he would score even less tan Bud Bundy had wile trying to be Grand Master B. Or in your case, should I just say Bed Wetter B???

He chuckles as e takes off the wig

Senor Vinnie: The one difference between you and me is that I can act silly to make people laugh Bill, while you?? You do not even know the difference between silly and being downright stupid. I will never lose to you Senor Bill, I will never lose to you like your dog will never stop loving Pete… with the exception when you put a Pepperoni pizza underneath her nose. But at least Pete is that kind of guy that he allows her love for him to grow on a full stomach. So understand tis Bill, I am a mariachi…. The singers that produces the best songs of love… But for you, I will make an exception. Because tis Sunday, I will sing the Blues. The Blues for one Bill Barnhart. Who has to witness is stupid dog to fall into the spines of Pete once more… only this time its forever Bill…. Good luck getting through something like that…

With that the sot fades as Vinnie has dumped the wig and starts to laugh out loud