SCAMMERS
Narrator: Bill Barnhart previously talked about receiving junk mail that is sent from scammers trying to scam you or by pretending to be someone or some agency they are not. Today we are on the subject of scammers who call you on the phone when you did not ask them to contact you. And, as always, Bill “The Analogy King” Barnhart will probably figure a way to bring the concept of scammers to the subject of wrestlers.
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* A segment runs that was recorded prior to Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, making the trip to Las Vegas, Nevada, to participate in Climax Control 265 *
Bill Barnhart is sitting on his couch in his living room at his home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He is holding his home phone in one hand and his cell phone in his other hand.
Bill: I kid you not. In a one month period I get around thirty scam phone calls. Yes you heard me correctly. I get approximately one scam phone call per day. Some are people trying to sell me something. Others try to claim they are from Microsoft Support, that my computer notified them that there is a virus on my computer and if I pay them hundreds of dollars they will remove the virus for me. Others are just morons who call and stay silent and you have no clue what in the hell they are calling about.
Iris the English Bulldog runs into the living room and jumps up on the couch to snuggle with Daddy Bill. He caresses Iris and she enjoys the attention.
Bill: Here are the laws pertaining to unsolicited and scammer callers. The laws state that the phone number they are calling from must be a valid phone number and show up on the Caller ID. Additionally the Caller ID has to be valid with the name of the caller. If the call is a recording they have to give you an option to speak to a human so you can tell them to *BLEEP* off and remove your phone number from their computer system. If they violate the laws then each violation comes with a $1,000 fine from the Government.
Iris jams her big head under the arm of Daddy Bill to ask for more petting. Bill pets Iris and she rolls onto her back to get a tummy rub.
Bill: I stopped answering calls unless I know, beyond a doubt, the person calling is someone I know. If the phone number and Caller ID does not properly identify the caller I let it go to voicemail. If they are a valid caller they will leave a message and I will return their call. If they do not leave a message it means they are a scammer. And if they are a scammer and are stupid enough to leave a message I report them to the FCC Do Not Call Registry Complaint website and to the FBI Fraud Division. Since I am the Analogy King I can use the concept of scammer callers to most of the wrestlers I face. Most try to sell the fans, and other wrestlers, that they are something they are not just like the scammers who call you on the phone try to make you think they are something they are not. Bottom line those wrestlers are scamming the other wrestlers and the fans. They are all exposed in the end.
Iris asks for more petting from Daddy Bill and he humors her. After a short time Iris is satisfied with petting from Daddy Bill and she jumps off the couch and runs back upstairs to her bedroom.
The scene fades to black.
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A scene opens on our screen. Bill Barnhart, Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, are seen sitting on the couch in their room at the Saxon Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada, and Climax Control 265 is being held at Skaggs Dungeon. The Staff and wrestlers were brought back from the overseas tour to remain in the United States until the Corona Virus thing is over so that is why this event is being held at Skaggs Dungeon in Las Vegas. At this event Bill is facing off against Dmitri. This match came about due to Dmitri issuing an open challenge to the members on the Roster and Bill Barnhart jumped up and accepted the challenge. The cameraman informs them they are live broadcasting so Bill and Bea jump into their comments for this upcoming match.
Bill: This is going to be a fun Climax Control for me since I get to face off against an old nemesis in Dmitri and. . .
The cell phone of Bill, that is on the coffee table, rings interrupting his comments. Bill looks at the caller ID which says UNKNOWN NUMBER so he ignores the call and lets it go to voicemail to see if the caller will leave a message.
Bill: Most likely another scammer caller. Hope they leave a message on voicemail so if they are a scammer I have information to provide to the FCC and FBI when I report them. Since I got interrupted by a possible scam phone call, when I was about to talk about my match with Dmitri, I will let Bea make comments and then I will jump back in with my comments on Dmitri. Bea you said you had something important to state concerning the cancellation of the overseas tours until the Corona Virus thing passes so please go ahead with your comments.
Bea: Thank you Bill. Before I discuss that issue I want to comment on the coward named Violet Amelia Holt attacking me recently. She is a coward because she lost to me twice, both by submission, yet she talks smack and attacks me. Her performance recently against Jessie Salco sums it up nicely. Once a loser always a loser. Now that is out of the way I can make the comments I need to make. Yes I will be in the corner of Bill, as his Manager, for his match against Dmitri, as I am no longer in the Blast From The Past Tournament, thanks to Travis Levitt blowing the Tournament for our team. Since Bill was also eliminated from the Tournament there is no longer a conflict with me being in his corner as his Manager.
Bill: I thought you were going to comment on the cancellation of the overseas tour until the Corona Virus thing was over.
Bea: I am getting to that. I needed to get those other comments out first. Now that I am done with those comments I wish to talk about the decision by Sin City Wrestling to cancel the overseas tour for a time until the Corona Virus thing passes. They made the decision to return our events to the United States to a venue, or venues, we know are protected and safe, until they are cleared to travel overseas again.
Bill: Whatever Management decides is fine with me as I am here to serve Sin City Wrestling and not the other way around.
Bea: Speaking for both of us I want you to know we are not overly concerned over the Corona Virus. Yes it is out there, and anyone can catch the virus, but over the years there has been things that come and go and to date we have not gotten ill from them. Things like SARS, Swine Flu, Bird Flu, Ebola, etc., have made the rounds and we are thankful that both of us, and Iris, have yet to become infected. We are not saying we are immune, or that we will not get infected, but we believe prevention in keeping surfaces, and ourselves, clean is the key to not getting ill with an infection or virus.
Bill: I do not want anyone to take the comments by Bea the wrong way as we are just as much a target to get infected as anyone else.
Bea: As everyone knows Iris has what would classify as the most vile, evil, disgusting, and toxic, farts on the planet. At one fundraising event challenge Bill and Iris did, which was a stinky fart competition, Iris let loose one of the most vile farts in the history of vile farts, and it set off the fire sprinkler system at Georgia Gymnastics Academy in Lawrenceville, Georgia, where our fundraising event was being held, and Gwinnett County Fire Department had to send a Hazardous Material Clean-Up Crew to the building to contain the toxic spill Iris made and decontaminate the building to make it safe to occupy again. When you add into the mix that the farts of Iris can peel paint off walls, kills flies in mid-flight, knocks birds out of trees, and once she nearly caused a Boeing 747 to make an emergency landing with her smelly farts. If we have survived dealing with the vile toxic farts of Iris we are concerned, but not overly concerned, about contracting the Corona Virus. We are also taking every precaution to remain safe.
Bill: Thanks for your comments Bea. People need to have background information to make a proper evaluation of things. Speaking of proper background information I would like to present history information between myself and Dmitri from the time we worked together in another wrestling federation.
Bea: This is some good stuff.
Bill: I served many years in another wrestling federation and Dmitri was also serving there. In that federation I faced off against Dmitri many times. I cannot give you a specific win-loss number we have against each other but I believe we are even in the wins and losses against the other. The problem I had with Dmitri was that he often cheated in matches then lied about his cheating. He also tried to take credit for a loss I took in Oakland, California, when the loss I took in the match was not a loss to him, as both of us lost to Casey Williams.
Bea: The match took place in Oakland, California, which is the birthplace of Bill. At the time of the match mentioned it was also his home town as we were still living there as we did not move to the State of Georgia until August 2012. It was an interesting match where a retired Boeing 747 aircraft was used as the venue for a Triple Threat Hardcore Rules match consisting of Bill, Dmitri, and Casey Williams with the Boeing 747 aircraft parked in a remote area of Oakland International Airport.
Bill: Most of what I relate here is first-hand knowledge as I was involved in the match. The other information I gained from watching the replay during those periods of time when I was knocked unconscious during the match. The Hardcore Rules match was going well with each of us getting the upper hand but nobody at that point in the match was able to get the win. The three of us were fighting it out in the main level of the Boeing 747 at the bottom of the spiral staircase that leads up to the First Class Lounge. Casey and Dmitri were violently fighting and they slammed into me and I tripped backward over something on the floor of the plane. Casey ran up the spiral staircase to the First Class Lounge with Dmitri behind him. I looked up and saw the two enter the First Class Lounge so I went for the stairway but one of the two, and I do not know which of them, kicked the spiral staircase loose and it crashed down on top of me and knocked me out.
Bea: Casey and Dmitri kept fighting up in the First Class Lounge. After a period of time Bill regained consciousness. Bill was groggy and staggered over to where the spiral staircase used to be and he looked up into the First Class Lounge and he could see Dmitri and Casey in a violent fight. Bill realized he was not going to be able to get into the First Class Lounge, due to the spiral staircase having been knocked down, so he turned to see what he could find to stand on to try to get to the upper level where Casey and Dmitri were. The moment Bill turned his attention away from the First Class Lounge Casey grabbed Dmitri and threw him down the opening, where the spiral staircase used to be, and Dmitri landed on top of Bill knocking Bill out again.
Bill: Here is where it get interesting and where Dmitri has, over the years, claimed a victory over me when he did not earn a victory over me. Watching the replay of the match I saw that when Dmitri was thrown down from the First Class Lounge by Casey Williams that Dmitri landed on top of me and knocked me out. Dmitri was not knocked out but he was in really bad shape and he could barely breathe let alone move. Casey slid to the opening where the spiral staircase used to me and he dropped down to the main level of the Boeing 747 aircraft and pinned Dmitri for the win. Even with absolute proof that Dmitri lost that match to Casey Williams, Dmitri claimed he got the win over me in that match. Dmitri went beyond pathetic to claim a victory over me in a match where he was pinned by Casey for the loss. I will grant Casey Williams the respect that he won that Hardcore Rules match in a Boeing 747 aircraft in my home town of Oakland, California, and he is also the first wrestler to ever give me a loss in my home town of Oakland. Yes I did take a loss in the match, even though I was not the wrestler who was pinned or made to submit, as that is how Triple Threat Rules matches work. So when I saw Dmitri make the open challenge recently I immediately accepted his challenge so I can beat the lies out of him.
Bill grits his teeth and growls into the camera.
Bill: The other reasons I immediately accepted Dmitri’s challenge is because Dmitri is like scammers who call on the phone and pretend to be someone, or something, they are not by claiming to have gotten the win over me in that match when he did not. Because it was Casey Williams who obtained the win in that match due to Triple Threat Rules and it was Dmitri who was directly pinned by Casey for the loss. Because it was Casey who earned my respect by being the first wrestler in my wrestling career to give me a loss in my home town not some clown who has been lying about the outcome of our match. Because I had to listen to years of Dmitri claiming he was the wrestler who defeated me in the Boeing 747 in Oakland, California, when he was not. Well, Dmitri, your bragging days are over! If you think you are going to walk into the Skaggs Dungeon and defeat me then you have been taking too many hallucinogenic drugs because you have been hallucinating for years thinking you were the wrestler to defeat me in the match I mentioned in the Boeing 747 in Oakland, California. But I can give you credit for one thing Dmitri. You earned the Sin City Wrestling Heavyweight Championship on September 3, 2017, by defeating Calvin Harris. But, and this is a big BUT Dmitri, you lost the Heavyweight Championship back to Calvin Harris three weeks later on September 24, 2017. Perhaps holding a Championship for three weeks is classified by you as a great accomplishment but I consider that short Championship run to be a great failure on your part. Hell, man, you may not even last three minutes in our match before I defeat you! But, Dmitri, there is a THREE you will clearly hear during our match. It is the ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! the Referee will count when I pin you and I get the win.
Bill smiles into the camera.
Bill: Dmitri for as long as I have known you the bragging and scare tactics you try to use on other wrestlers is disgusting. You tend to represent yourself as the keeper of Hell and stand guard over the entrance to Hell. I am sure, Dmitri, you have heard the Tom Petty song titled I Won’t Back Down, and even if you have not heard of it I will sing for you the beginning of the song so you will understand.
Bill launches into the beginning of the song I Won’t Back Down by Tom Petty.
Bill:
Well, I won't back down
No, I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of Hell
But I won't back down
Bill is done with singing the opening of the song I Won’t Back Down by Tom Petty. The cameraman gets a close-up of Bill for his closing comments.
Bill: Dmitri I will destroy you at Climax Control 265 and send you on your way to the Retirement Home. If you think I am joking then get your laughing out of the way now because you will not be laughing after I win our match and leave you beaten and broken inside the ring. Have a great time leading up to our match because you are going to have the worst time of your life after I defeat you.
Bill motions to the cameraman to indicate he is done with his comments for his upcoming match. The cameraman calls into the Network and they tell him to cut his camera feed. He does so and our screen goes to black.
