BILL BARNART THE ALL-AROUND GUY
Narrator: Bill Barnhart is an all-around wrestler but he is also an all-around guy when it comes to doing things around his house. When you find out how versatile and talented he is around the house you will better understand why he is versatile and talented in the wrestling ring.
OFF CAMERA
Bill Barnhart is in the kitchen at his home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He is wearing a white apron and we see he is making lasagna. When he is done putting the lasagna together he places it into the preheated oven, sets the timer, then he removes the apron and exits the kitchen.
Bill pulls out the vacuum cleaner from the laundry room and he vacuums the living room and play room downstairs then he moves to the upstairs area to vacuum the three bedrooms, the hallway, and the stairway. When he is done he empties what the vacuum cleaner picked up into the trash can and returns the vacuum cleaner to the laundry room.
We see Bill holding a large basket of laundry. He brings the laundry to the laundry room, opens the washing machine, puts laundry soap inside, places the clothes into the washer, then presses the start button and the washing machine starts up.
Bill travels to the bedrooms and bathrooms and empties the trash cans into a large trash bag. He takes the large trash bag downstairs and places it into the trash can that is located under a counter in the kitchen. Bill takes the bag out of the trash can, ties the bag closed, then takes it outside to deposit it into the trash can for the trash company to pick up on Thursday.
About two hours later.
Bill takes the laundry out of the dryer and he quickly folds everything that requires folding and hangs items on hangers that need to be hung up in the closets.
The oven times goes off and beeps to indicate the time set on the timer has completed counting down. Bill walks into the kitchen looks into the oven and sees his lasagna is done cooking. He turns off the oven timer and the oven, dons oven mittens, and removes the pan with the lasagna dish on it. He places the lasagna on top of the oven to wait for it cool down so it can be eaten without burning your mouth. Bill looks as his masterpiece lasagna and a huge smile comes on his face.
ON CAMERA
Bill and Bea Barnhart, along with their English Bulldog Iris, have returned to their home in Lawrenceville, Georgia, to take care of stuff before heading off to England for Climax Control 263. This edition of Climax Control is being held in Canterbury, Kent, England, at the Colyer-Fergusson Music Building. At this Climax Control Bill, and his partner Andrea Hernandez, will be facing off against the team of Diamond and Javi Gonzalez in their second Blast From The Past Tournament match.
Bill: Welcome once again to our home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Yes, I know, we were just in England for Climax Control 262 so you want to know why we spent the time and money to return home to Lawrenceville, Georgia, before traveling to England again. Because we enjoy traveling and we can afford it so no reason we cannot do what we want to do and have fun doing it. At this edition of Climax Control me and Andrea Hernandez face off against Diamond and Javi Gonzalez in our second Blast From The Past Tournament. The winner of this match, our team of course, will advance in the Tournament while the losers of the match, Javi and Diamond, will go home as losers and watch us continue to be successful in the Blast From The Past Tournament, advance all the way to the finals, and win the entire event. There is no doubt we will win the entire Tournament as I am a great all-around wrestler and I take care of things that need to be taken care of. Andrea is in the same frame of mind I am that she takes care of things that need to be taken care of and she is a great wrestler. By the way, Bea, while me and Andrea will continue to win in the Blast From The Past Tournament you seem to have come up short in your Tournament match at Climax Control 262. At least that frees you up now to be in my corner at Climax Control 263 as my Manager since there is no conflict now.
A smile comes on the face of Bill and he laughs.
Bea Barnhart: So you think it is funny that I lost my Blast From The Past Tournament match? I do not feel losing a Tournament match due to a partner failing to carry his weight in the match is funny. Lazy performance in a wrestling match is never acceptable.
Bill: Bea you know for you to lose a match is not amusing for me. I feel your pain. But you have to admit you did a lot of bragging for being a rookie wrestler and you ended up bragging more than your team was able to deliver.
Bea: I would not say our team was not able to deliver. I was able to deliver and I did but Travis Levitt failed to deliver and Jake Raab took him out for the win. We will get revenge on him soon.
Bill: If that will make you feel better then go for it.
Bea: I want to inform everyone that Bill Barnhart is a great all-around guy not just in the wrestling ring but also at home. Bill washes clothes, folds them, irons them, hangs them up and puts them in the dressers, vacuums and sweeps the floors and carpets, empties the trash, and cooks half the meals in our home. He also takes care of Iris which is not an easy chore. Today Bill is cooking a chicken in our slow cooker and I know this will be another one of his epic meals. Bill is the dream man every woman wishes they had.
Bill: I may not be the dream man every woman wishes for but I am the dream wrestler everyone wants as their partner. I am sure I am the type of wrestling tag team partner Diamond wishes she had instead of getting stuck with Javi Gonzales with bad luck hitting her on the drawing of names for teams.
Bea: Since you love analogies do you have some you wish to present to the viewers that link to your Blast From The Past Tournament match?
Bill: I always have analogies to present so here are my analogies using the things I do around the house to focus on wrestling and opponents. I cook great dishes in the kitchen. I can cook for you two an ass kicking casserole that will leave you with a sore butt for a week. I can whip up an omelet with everything I can think of rolled up inside of it and cram it down your throats and choke what little wrestling ability you have out of you. I wash dirty wrestlers like I wash dishes. I wash clothes to get the dirty stuff out of them and I will wash the dirty stuff out of you two. I will vacuum you two like I vacuum our carpets then dump your filth into the trash can. I bag trashy wrestlers like you, like I bag the trash here at home, and take you out to the trash container for the trash company to pick up and take to the County dump to bury you in the landfill. If you do not like me doing all those things to you then you have options available. If you do not wish to face off against Andrea Hernandez and me then your first option is to no-show for the match and we will take the default win because you are cowards. Your second option is to crawl in to the office of Management and beg them to postpone our match so you can face a team that is less awesome than we are. Good luck with that attempt. Your final option, when the other options fail, is to get your pathetic asses into the ring at Climax Control 263 and wrestle against our team. No matter what option, or options, you are able to obtain, the end result is the same. Our team wins and your team loses.
Bea: Oooooo Bill! You are sooooo sexy when you talk smack!
Bill: I am sooooo sexy all the time. And I am not talking smack. I am talking truth.
Bea: I would like to ask you a question I am sure many viewers want to ask. Would you say your comments about Javi and Diamond will cause them to be butt hurt by your comments?
Bill: I do not give a damn if they are butt hurt over my comments. I am not here to stroke other wrestlers, smile at them, and make them feel good. I am here to punch other wrestlers, snarl at them, and make them feel as worthless as they truly are. I am not going to stop telling the truth about opponents because they do not like what I say. When you are a one-dimensional wrestler, two-dimensional at best, as Diamond and Javi are, they tend to get offended by everyone who is better than they are.
Bea: Okay.
Iris, their English Bulldog, walks into the room and she looks around with her typical confused look and then she decides to walk over to Daddy Bill to ask for petting. Bill starts to pet Iris and she lets out soft moaning and then she drops to the floor and flips on her back to get her tummy rubbed. Daddy Bill rubs the tummy of Iris and she is enjoying it so much she is about to pass out. When Bill stops rubbing the tummy of Iris she reaches up with her paw and drags the hand of Daddy Bill back to her tummy for more tummy rubs.
Bill: Listen carefully Javi and Diamond. Me and Andrea are thrilled we have the opportunity to show the world we are better wrestlers than you are and better than you can ever hope to be. The benefit our team has is Andrea is a fantastic wrestler who stays focused in her matches. She takes advantage of the slightest mistake made by opponents. If you do not believe me on that statement ask Bea as she made a mistake in her match against Andrea and took a loss when Andrea took advantage of her mistake.
Bea: Hey!
Bill: Hey what? You held your own in that match with Andrea for a time but when you made an error during the match Andrea quickly took advantage of it and you lost. As for our opponents at Climax Control 263 when you doubt and hesitate yourselves you have already lost the match.
Iris is running around giving the indication she wants to go out to potty. Since Bill wants to take a walk he decides to bring Iris out on her leash to take her on her potty break walk. Once the leash is attached to the collar of Iris the two head for the front door where Bill stops for a moment to make closing comments.
Bill: Diamond and Javi I could claim I feel sorry for you two but that would be a lie and I am not a liar. I do not care about you two. I do not feel sorry for you. I do not care if your feelings get hurt when we defeat you. You can beg, plead, and cry, for mercy but you will not receive any from me or Andrea. We are in this Blast From The Past Tournament match to win and advance in the Tournament. We did not enter the Tournament to lose. We entered the Tournament to win. But not just to win a match or two but to win the entire Tournament. You need to deal with that because you do not have a choice in the outcome of our match. We will out-wrestle, out-maneuver, and out-class you so that you two will be so humiliated you will wear brown paper bags over your heads for weeks to hide your identities. Thanks for tuning in with me but I have had enough of talking to our pathetic opponents. I need to get Iris on her potty break walk so she does not have an accident on our carpet.
Bill opens the front door and he and Iris go outside. Bill closes and locks the front door and the scene ends.
