Things seemed to be going from bad to worse for Jessie as the theme park tour continued, not only did she lose the Roulette Rules Match to Parand Ara at Disneyworld (which she insists is meaningless because Parand can’t beat her in a regular match) but her feud with Amy was only getting uglier, granted she kicked things into high gear herself when Jessie interrupted Amy’s match with Courtney Pierce whilst disguised as Minnie Mouse but still.
The following week at Six Flags the two women became enthralled in a brawl that took them through the park before they were separated by the combined forces of security and theme park staff, this week both women were in action in Dollywood as Amy was teaming up with Wyatt to take on The Seraphinas in mixed tag team action leaving Jessie to take on Selena Zdunich in singles competition an d if that wasn’t enough for Jessie, Selena’s wife Christina, who Jessie has been feuding with over at Honor Wrestling, was bound to be at ringside for the match, can Jessie win? And what roll will Amy play in the match?
Near the Busy Bees ride, Dollywood, Pidgeon Forge, Tennessee
Friday the 22nd of June 2018, 14:00pm
I swear to god the bosses must’ve had me and Caleb in mind when they booked this park for the Theme Park Tour and for all the wrong reasons! Ugh, the sooner I can get as far away from this haven for terrible music as possible, the better!
Okay, granted, its not like metal musicians are opening theme parks anytime soon, mostly because they stick to writing music and touring for the most part, but I’ve never been more apathic for a wrestling show location in my eight years as a professional wrestler and yes, that’s counting my early days where I wrestled in High School Gymnasiums and National Guard Armories and other places that small indies book for their shows!
Well, at least I know I won’t be wrestling in either of those places anytime soon!
I’m not going to ask whether or not you’ve been living under a rock these past two weeks but ever since my meaningless loss to Parand at Disneyworld I’ve been focusing my attention on a certain traitorous bitch, first by costing her the match against Courtney through use of her own move (and yes, whilst dressed as Minnie Mouse, I didn’t think security would let me at ringside otherwise) followed by a wild brawl between us last week at Six Flags over Georgia, what will happen this week at Dollywood?
Well, for one thing, there’s no way in hell I’m dressing up as a country singer!
Me and Amy are both in action this week, I’m facing Selena Zdunich AKA the wife of Christina Rose who I just so happen to be feuding with in Honor Wrestling and Amy’s teaming up with Wyatt to take on The Seraphinas AKA proof that wrestling talent can and will skip a generation, it just so happened that it skipped on two children instead of one but what can you do? I’m not going to reveal my plans for Climax Control until they’ve already been executed.
Then again, I don’t really have a choice in the matter, the bosses banned Amy from ringside for the duration of my match and did the same to me for Amy’s match meaning that I can’t pull the same stunt I did at Disneyworld even if I wanted to dress like a country singer, besides it’s a hell of a lot harder to disguise myself as one since, unlike Minnie Mouse, country singers don’t have giant oversized heads.
And I’ll go ahead and add that to the list of sentences I never thought I’d say in my life.
“Come on Jessie, there’s got to be something you’re interested in here.” Jake protested as I sat on a bench in front of the Busy Bees kid’s ride, I wasn’t really paying attention to the rides and I didn’t even realize that it was a kid’s ride until I saw a group of children running out of the exit and towards their parents, and yes, me and the boys stick out like sore thumbs in our band t-shirts and jeans, are you really surprised by that fact? “You went on rides at Disneyworld and Six Flags.”
“Yeah, because they have roller-coasters and you know me, I’ve always been more of a roller-coaster type, even if I’m too short to ride most of them.” I responded as I rolled my eyes. “But this place? That Busy Bees ride is the closest thing this dump has to a roller-coaster and it’s a fucking kid’s ride! I don’t think there’s enough lube in America to make you fit into one of those carts Jake!” I added, and Jake went to respond but paused.
“Yeah, that’s a good point actually.” Jake responded as he glanced at the group of kids who went on the ride next. “Then maybe we should move? Just saying, three full grown adults sitting this close to a kid’s ride is bound to raise some red flags.”
“We’re not even facing the ride, besides this is our first, and let’s face it, last, time here so its not like we knew where the ride was.” I pointed out as a couple of country music fans walked by, they gave us odd looks but those looks quickly turned to one of disgust when I flipped them the bird and they stormed off. “You know what? Why don’t you go and pick out a place to eat from the map over there, I’m starting to get hungry.”
“Normally I’d argue that you ate at lunchtime but I’m getting hungry as well.” Jake admitted before going over to the sign and Shane turned to me.
“Not often that I see you this angry Jess.” Shane commented with a concerned look on his face and I rolled my eyes.
“The bosses booked me to wrestle at a theme park created by a talentless hack who’s apparently a legend in country music and I’ve still gotta deal with the shit from Amy and the morons in charge.” I responded with a frown and Shane nodded in agreement. “The sooner we can get this week over with the fucking better! Besides, there’s only two more theme park shows left before Summer XXXTreme, so it can’t get any worse, right? What are the only shows left after this one anyway?”
“Let me check.” Shane responded before getting his phone out which had the list of locations on the tour on it with the events that have already happened crossed off. “Next week’s Climax Control is from Dixie Landing in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, let’s hope it’s not a Dixie Chicks theme park, after that it’s Kemah Texas for the Kemah Boardwalk and then, as you said, it’s Summer XXXTreme time.”
“Good, the sooner we can be done with this tour the better, I thought being able to visit a theme park on SCW’s dime would be cool and all, but this tour has brought me nothing but bad luck.” I added before Jake walked over to us.
“There’s a place to eat near us, well I say near but it’s more like a twenty-minute walk if we don’t stop for a rest, the other places are too far away.” Jake commented, and we stood up ready to move. “If you want to do your promo now Jessie, go ahead, just watch the swear words around the children.” Jake added, and we started walking off and as Jake said I decided to get started on my promo.
“A metalhead, wrestling in a country music theme park against the wife of one of my hated rivals in Honor Wrestling, you know, I think the first Mass Effect game has aged about as well as a rotten apple left out in the Sahara Desert but there’s one quote from that game that comes to mind when I think of this match, “enemies everywhere!”, and that’s not even including Amy in the mix but this Sunday I’m going one on one with Selena Zdunich in a monument to a talentless hack’s ego with her wife Crystal Hilton/Christina Rose/La Paloma/whatever name she feels like using this week at ringside!”
Kill me now.
“Selena, I don’t know if you’ve been watching your wife’s antics over at Honor Wrestling but last week she got extremely lucky against me, I had her down for the three count and I don’t care what she says to the contrary, she was out like a light, but because Honor Wrestling is run by people who make Mark and Christian look like Mensa Members they didn’t think to include no time limit on the match and the match ended in a time limit draw! So the question is, will Crystal’s luck rub off on you in our match! No!”
Lightning doesn’t strike twice.
“Look, I know Crystal has probably been rubbing off on you all week in the hotel room but last I checked luck wasn’t an STD and neither is talent! Yeah, you beat Parand Ara in your debut match, but you know who else has beat Parand Ara? More than a handful of people, including me, twice! This Sunday I’m going to make sure that the only bright spot in the early days of your SCW career is that win over Parand because aside from that? Your luck’s been really shit Selena.”
Let me count the ways!
“Let’s see, after your debut match you competed against Lucy, Brittany and Nyla for the right to challenge Sam for the Roulette Championship, Brittany, obviously, won and went on to dethrone Sam and seemingly put her on the shelf for good but more importantly, if you had hooked your opponent’s legs just a second later, we wouldn’t be having this conversation because there’s a chance you would’ve been Roulette Champ by now! After that you went on to face Mercedes at the Supercard and how did that go for you?”
Take a wild guess.
“That’s right, you lost, again, and people get on my case for being a fluke! Hell, I’m trying to think of a bigger one hit wonder in wrestling, but no names are coming to mind Selena. Granted you might bounce back before the next Supercard but not only is that a big “might” but it won’t be at my expense, I’ve seen enough Bombshells with less tenure than me overtake me over the years and I refuse to be overlooked again, I don’t care who your fucking!”
It’s that simple.
“Selena, I’m not going to bring whatshername into this because I’ve got enough problems with your schizophrenic wife over at Honor Wrestling but she can take this match as my warning to her, as the clock ticks closer to our rematch for the title Crystal I’m going to be looking to make an example out of anyone and everyone I face including your wife and Selena, once I’m done with you, you had better hope that Crystal can pony up the cash to cover your hospital treatment because no insurance company will cover what I’m going to do to you on Sunday!”
And with that I decided to wrap things up.
“Normally the saying goes that I’m going to have to have eyes in the back of my head going into this match! Not this week, no, I’m going to need eyes on all four corners of my head for this match keeping an eye out for any antics by either Crystal or Amy! But at the end of the day, your losing streak will continue as I focus my attention on my ascension to the top of the food chain, where I belong! This is the heavy metal angel Jessie Salco signing off, Selena, your only hope is someone playing Country Music during our match and me fleeing the ring to get away from the awful music but don’t count on it!”
I continued to follow the boys as the scene fades.
