SECOND TIME FACING FENRIS
Narrator: For those of you who don’t remember, or you didn’t do your research, Bill Barnhart joined Sin City Wrestling in August 2019 and he indicated publicly that he had three wrestlers he would like to face and he considered facing them as a Dream Match. They were Casey Williams, Griffin Hawkins, and Fenris.
CUSTOMER SERVICE IS NON-EXISTENT THESE DAYS
This incident took place in Lawrenceville, Georgia, when Bea ordered food online from McDonald’s, using her cell phone, and she sent Bill to drive to the location and pick up the food.
Bea: Okay, Bill, the order has been placed and I texted you the screen shot of the confirmation with the order number. You just have to go to the McDonald’s restaurant at 4915 Sugarloaf Parkway in Lawrenceville. The online order system said you just give them the order number and you can pick up our order.
Bill: Am I supposed to go through the drive-thru to pick up the food like I did when you ordered food from Kentucky Fried Chicken?
Bea: Good question. After I placed the order the website said you give them your order number and they will give you the food. I don’t think you have to go through the drive-thru but you can try. The other comment on the website said you can also enter the restaurant and give them your order number and they will give you the food.
Bill: I hope this works. Too many times people order food online then when they go to pick it up the restaurant either screwed up the order or they claim they never got it. I don’t trust Programmers to make any program work correctly. I should be back home in around 30 minutes since the McDonalds on Sugarloaf Parkway is only 2.5 miles one-way.
Bill drives off and arrives at McDonalds at 4915 Sugarloaf Parkway in about 5 minutes. He goes through the drive-thru and we hear the interaction.
McDonald’s Worker: May I take your order?
Bill: My wife made an online order and she sent me here to pick up the food. I have the order number.
McDonald’s Worker: You can’t do that.
Bill: What the hell do you mean I can’t do that? I have the order number! I’m new at this and I have no idea what to do to get my food! I came through the drive-thru but if you cannot do it through the drive-thru should I leave the drive-thru and park and walk into the restaurant?
McDonald’s Worker: Let me have you talk to the Manager.
After a short delay the Manager of this McDonald’s comes on the speaker.
McDonald’s Manager: We cannot give you your order as it isn’t in our computer system.
Bill: What the hell do you mean it isn’t in your computer system? My wife ordered the food online and paid for it so you damn sure need to give me our food! Do I leave the drive-thru and come into the restaurant so you can take the order number and give me our food?
McDonald’s Manager: Let me have you talk to the Assistant Manager so he can explain it too you better than I can.
Bill: * SIGH *
After a short delay the Assistant Manager comes on the speaker.
McDonald’s Assistant Manager: Sir we cannot take you order in the drive-thru lane. We also cannot take your order in the restaurant using your order number. You have to come to the restaurant with the phone that the order was placed on and only when you park in our parking lot will your phone send a message to us that you are in the parking lot and we will process your order and bring the food to your car.
Bill: What the F*ck! My wife has her phone at home but she sent me a screen shot of the order confirmation with the order code. I can give you the order code and you can fill my order. That’s what your website said we can do. I can park and come into the restaurant and show you the screen shot showing the order number.
McDonald’s Assistant Manager: I’m sorry but until you bring the phone the order was made on we cannot give you the food.
Bill: Damn! My wife has her phone at home! So you are telling me I drove 2.5 miles here so you can refuse to give us our food, now you want me to drive 2.5 miles home to get my wife and bring her to McDonald’s with her phone, and that means I will be making two round trips for a total of 10 miles and that doesn’t even account for slowness of getting our “fast” food. Shit! Damn! F*ck!
McDonald’s Assistant Manager: Sorry but. . .
Bill: Sorry your ass!!!
Bill speeds out of the McDonald’s parking area and heads home calling Bea on the way. Even Bea confirms the website said just park, go into the McDonald’s, show them the order number, and get the food. When the two return to McDonald’s Bea tells Bill to park in one of the Curbside Pickup parking spots so he parks in spot number 5. Bea looks at the sign and it says to park, then open the app on your phone that you placed the order on, then click on the I AM HERE button and your food will be delivered to your car in five minutes or less.
Bill: It has already been five minutes so where the hell is the food?
Bea: Give them a few minutes more as we ordered a lot of food.
When it reaches the 15 minute mark Bea is the one who is getting upset over the delay of the food delivery. When her phone gives a chime she looks at the McDonald’s application and she reads the message: THANK YOU FOR YOUR ORDER. . .YOUR FOOD HAS BEEN DELIVERED TO YOUR VEHICLE. . .ENJOY YOUR FOOD.
Bea: What? I got a text saying thanks for our food order and to enjoy our food and that the food was delivered to our vehicle. No food has been delivered to our vehicle. Maybe they sent the food to another car. I’m going inside to find out what happened.
Bill rolls his eyes when he sees how upset Bea is. If you think Bill gets upset with poor customer service you haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen Bea go off on people for poor customer service. Bill knows what the McDonald’s workers are in for. When Bea enters the McDonald’s she notices there are a half dozen workers behind the counter and only two customers inside the restaurant. After nearly ten minutes we see Bea come out with two large bags of food and a cup carrier with four large drinks and she is struggling to carry the order. Bill helps Bea place the food in the car then they start driving home.
Bea: I can’t believe these assholes at McDonald’s! I told them we drove up 15 minutes ago and clicked on the app to let them know we’re here. I told them the app said our food would be delivered in five minutes or less. I told them the app told us our food was delivered to our car and yet no food was delivered. I told them after 15 minutes I had to come inside the restaurant. I saw that all of the workers were standing around doing nothing even though there were only two customers in the restaurant and they already had their food. The Manager told me she’ll have them get our food ready. When the food was ready they just handed it to me. I gave the Manager my evil look and I told her it isn’t my job to deliver my food to my car at the Curbside Pickup and she and her workers looked at me like I was an alien from another planet. I told them it is their job to deliver the food to my car but they just didn’t care and handed me to food to bring to our car. When we get home I’m filing a complaint with McDonald’s Corporate.
Bill: You know I’m strict when it comes to customer service and that also carries over to my wrestling career where I demend good performance from opponents. From this point forward I’ll never eat at McDonald’s again. I’ll get food at Wendy’s or Taco Bell instead.
Bill and Bea return home with their food. Iris gives them a look that screams WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG WITH MY FOOD and they laugh at her. They set the food on the dining table and eat dinner.
END OF INCIDENT
DREAM MATCH REPEAT
When the scene comes into focus we see Bill Barnhart sitting in a comfortable chair in the broadcast studio with the cameraman focusing his camera on Bill. Bea is sitting to the right of Bill in case she wishes to say comments during Bill’s presentation.
Bill: When I signed with Sin City Wrestling in August 2019 I mentioned that there are three matches I would consider to be a fulfillment of Dream Matches for me. One was against Casey Williams to get revenge for him being the first wrestler to hand me a defeat in my home town of Oakland, in my home area of the Bay Area, during a Hardcore Rules match in a Boeing 747 parked at Oakland Airport. The second was a match with Griffin Hawkins as I admire his work and he was a great Roulette Champion. The third was against Fenris as I admire his work ethics and dedication he has put into his work in the sport of wrestling.
Bea: Please tell the viewers how that match with Fenris went.
Bill: Going into that match on September 29, 2019, at Climax Control 249, I knew what Fenris was capable of. Even though he was smaller and lighter than me I knew he had great ring presence and could flip a match on an opponent in a flash. I performed well in that match and both of us came close to winning numerous times. Fenris did what he often does and that is to switch things up quickly and reverse the advantage the opponent had and he then had the advantage over me for the win. Did I get upset over the loss. Hell no! I congratulated Fenris on a well-deserved win and hoped that we would meet again one day. I hate it when wrestlers have great talent and waste it by not giving all they’ve got in matches. Fenris didn’t do that against me in that match. He gave it all he had and came out the winner and I admire that. When Fenris left the sport for a time I figured having a second match against him would never happen. Well look here at the Climax Control 288 card and you see that Fenris is back and I have my second Dream Match against him. This match is gonna be beyond enjoyable for me.
THE REASON FENRIS WILL LOSE TO BILL BARNHART
Bea: Since you are known as the Analogy King please provide your analogy to the viewers.
Bill: Everyone will agree that a Tarantula is a damn efficient predator and rarely does a foe get away unharmed. However most people don’t know that a Tarantula Hawk Wasp kicks the Tarantula’s ass more times than the Tarantula kicks their ass. I would say the percentage of the Tarantula Hawk Wasp getting the win over the Tarantula is 90 percent while the Tarantula fending off and killing the Tarantula Hawk Wasp is about 10 percent. Damn nice odds for the Tarantula Hawk Wasp when you consider an average Tarantula is from 4 to 11 inches in size compared to an average Tarantula Hawk Wasp of around 2 inches in size.
Bea: Here’s how it works. The Tarantula Hawk Wasp needs to lay her eggs so her offspring will survive and she needs a Tarantula to do so. She will boldly attack the Tarantula but she is so quick and agile the Tarantula loses 90 percent of the time. She gets a few stings in and the Tarantula is paralyzed but does not die as it is still alive but cannot move as it is paralyzed. The Tarantula Hawk Wasp then drags the paralyzed Tarantula to a hole in the ground, she lays her eggs on the Tarantula. When her babies hatch the eat the Tarantula who knows what is going on as it is alive but paralyzed. That’s gotta be one of the most horrible ways to end your life.
Bill: You’re probably asking how a small 2 inch Tarantula Hawk Wasp can knock out Tarantulas of 4 to 11 inches and the answer is simple. She is quick to get in and get damage done with her stings. She is quick and agile to get the stings in and back off so the Tarantula cannot grab her and bite her. Yes it really is that simple. The key is staying away from the agility of the Tarantula and getting in and out quickly like the Tarantula Hawk Wasp does to inflict damage. That, my friends, is exactly how I will work in this upcoming match with Fenris. I will get in quickly, inflict damage, and get out quickly, and by doing this over and over again Fenris loses to me. Yes it really is that simple.
TO BE THE MAN, YOU GOTTA BEAT THE MAN
Bill: One of the most iconic statements ever in the sport of Wrestling is TO BE THE MAN, YOU GOTTA BEAT THE MAN. I’ll not mention the wrestler who made that statement famous as I’m sure you know who it was who made the statement. Fenris I’m sure you feel you are in the same category as the wrestler who made the statement as you also have a stellar record in the sport of Wrestling. I believe that you believe you are the man to be beat in order for the wrestler defeating you to be the man. Only you can answer if that’s what you are thinking. But, Fenris, if that’s what the fans and other wrestlers think then so be it. After our match at Climax Control 288 I will be the man since I beat the man, YOU, by decisively defeating you. Easier said than done you think? Think again because it is easier for me to defeat you than it is for you to prevent me from defeating you. Please remember someone else who left the sport for a time then returned thinking having a match against me was gonna be easy for them. On April 24, 2020, at Climax Control 266, Kris Ryans returned to active status in the wrestling ring. He thought I would be an easy mark but I defeated him by submission with my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold. To this day he still claims I never defeated him. He claims what really happened was that he was bored in the match and threw the match to get it over with. Yeah, right, okay, if you believe that bullshit then I have a great bridge in New York you might like to buy and also some choice swamp land in Florida you may be interested in purchasing. Nah, Fenris, he didn’t throw the match to me. He came back from being out of the sport for a time and thought he still had what it takes to be competitive and I proved that he didn’t. I’m hoping you didn’t make the same mistake of returning to active status in the wrestling ring thinking you haven’t become soft from being inactive. Bea is there anything you wish to say as closing comments?
Bea: Fenris I’ll be in Bill’s corner as his Manager and I’ there to ensure your match goes according to the rules and that there is no cheating or interference. Keep the match on the level and I’m fine with that. Cheat or have people run in on the match and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.
Bill: Thanks for the closing comments Bea.
Bea: I could say I wish you the best of luck in your match with Fenris but I already know you don’t need to rely on luck when you have outstanding wrestling abilities.
Bill and Bea inform the Broadcast Studio staff they are done with their comments for today. The Staff works to make a smooth transition from live broadcasting to returning to regularly scheduled programming for this time slot.
