An ode to Lazarus
Look up here, I am in Heaven, I’ve got scars that can’t be seen. I’ve got drama that can’t be stolen, everybody knows me now……
Sadness is upon me as I heard the news that the originator of evolving your life has passed away. Sadness to know now that he has now evolved upon the final stage of life into death. And yet we should not morn the loss, we should celebrate the life of one the greatest of all time… a true legend and an inspiration, even for me
My life has been a labyrinth of mazes and question marks, never truly understanding why I was here and why I had to be here. Always questioning what made me wish upon life or death, I just knew that I wouldn’t survive without Heroes… And now the world truly knows me now, but do they?? Or have they believed a blue bird would emerge upon their seats of their existence in the hope of believing that what they wish me to be. A description of what their so called Hero should look like, talk like and behave???
Unfortunately I am not their Major Tom, never wished to be anything of their hopes and dreams. Never wished for Fame to make me what they wish me to be. Always be one step before the masses before being accepted by the large crows. Because when you dare to live my life, you need to perform Under Pressure to be true to yourself… a notion that nobody apparently desire.
People have their ideals, the notion that life should be great and the desire to tell the other to Let’s Dance. Making me puke to understand that there is a side of me that wishes to destroy you. To be your Mr. Gravedigger you wish to say please to keep you alive for another few moments. Wishing to have your life flash before your very eyes for the final time. Asking yourself what you have done wrong?? Asking Ground Control to Major Tom whether you should take your protein pills and put your helmet on.
God does this even make sense?? Then again, did you ever understood the life of HIM? The Evolution of my life has been side to side to his and even I never understood until now. Because now I need to evolve without the one man that nobody even dared to question, so why would you do the same for me??
Planet Earth is Blue and there is nothing I can do…., tell me what it is that you would have done when the Space Oddity that you were was looking down upon us from Space?? My life has never been blue, it’s nothing more than just words that roll from my lips as nobody ever dared to look further than just that.. my words, melodic words that meant so much more than just the imaginary that fools like you would never understand. This may very well Not be America, but then again… what is?? Does the world truly know what makes you who you truly are?? Or are you just lost in your own life where Ashes to Ashes are the final memories of your entire existence?? I guess then you never were truly someone worth to be loved and cherished.
I will put on my red shoes and dance for you for one final time as it is my only way to thank you for what you have done for us oh Lazarus. As now Major Tom has finally met his final resting place somewhere in the Heavens as the Blue Bird is a hope for better things to come. Never hearing the words say that the Boys keep swinging.. You are truly a legend for the world, someone that never was afraid to experiment where others were to afraid to do anything else and get stuck in their average lives. Now I stand alone, knowing that I understood you…. As I speak to you Lazarus… May you Rest in Peace… while others are meant to suffer….
January 13th 2015
Looking back at Climax Control
Las Vegas, Nevada
Goth can be seen sitting in his hotel room, drinking some wine as he watches a rerun of Sunday’s Climax Control. Staring at the This is your Life show for Travis and grins while taking another sip from his wine.
Goth: Ask and you shall receive isn’t it Travis???
His eyes are glued to the television screen as his wife comes into the room with Pussy Willow.
Sapphira: Gerrit, you got company.
Goth turns off the television and turns his attention towards Willow as he grins.
Goth: Hello Willow, please take a seat.
Willow: Thanks Goth, so what can I do for you???
Goth waits until she is seated in a sofa next to his before he puts his feet on the table and rests against the sofa.
Goth: Isn’t life just great Willow???
Willow looks at him with a curious look upon her face.
Willow: I am sure that this isn’t the reason why you brought me up here to discuss the meaning of life now is it Goth??
He chuckles as he rests his head against the sofa while spreading his arms as he looks at the ceiling.
Goth: Sometimes I do tend to go philosophical from Willow, it gives you a reason to think about a lot of stuff. Whether the question would arise if there is a life after death?? Or whether you should not mess with destiny. Either way, the answer to this question always is a deafening no….,
His smile remains upon his face as he bends forward to the table and grabs his glass of wine
Goth: You want something to drink???
Willow shakes her head no as she starts off by asking him a few questions.
Willow: Goth, last week you asked me to help you deal with Travis. Giving him something to think about. Can I ask you what this was all about?? Besides the fact that you got assaulted during your title….
Goth: Now let’s not all go and look back at the past too often, it would look like I would be repeating myself over and over again Willow. Sure, if the record isn’t broken then don’t try to fix it. But why would I just keep on doing the same thing over and over again, even for a long winded persona as many would proclaim me to be… it would be too much wouldn’t you agree???
Willow: Well, I assume a change every now and then would…
Goth: A change is something too easy to be used. No, a change isn’t the right word. It is evolving to something bigger, something like David Bowie has done so many times in his life as he has now evolved to something beyond that what people can grasp…. At least not the simpletons that is out there.
Willow: Like???
Goth grins as he shakes his head no.
Goth: Oh no, I’m not going out there Willow. Who knows, I may end up with another bounty on my head just this time perhaps for a merely five bucks.
He grins as he takes another sip from his wine as he empties the glass and puts it back on the table.
Willow: But still that doesn’t answer the question of why???
Goth nods his head as he starts to think about it for a while.
Goth: You see Willow, me and Travis have a longwinded history since I returned to the SCW and I feel that I did not give him the credit for everything that he has done for this industry in the last year. And most importantly, giving me some credibility as a wrestler that he has given me so much. That I wanted to return the favour of some sorts….
Willow: By hiding under that cloak and attacking him??
Goth: Well I never said that the measures that I would go to would be the nicest now have I??? You see, I remembered how I became relevant and I wanted to return the favour. To thank him for getting in my life and now it is time for me to move on and kick him out of mine.
Willow: Strong words as you are in a war with the New Supremacy for total domination
Goth nods his head from the words that has been said by Willow.
Goth: True, but then again. I think that 2016 hasn’t been too kind for them now has it not?? And granted, they can brag all they want about me not having been able to defeat Sean Jackson. But having to watch Mark Ward lose his biggest meal ticket last Sunday to a man that was proclaimed to be the weakest link has got a nice ring to it wouldn’t you agree??
Willow: Well…,
Goth: It has Willow, because whether they would agree or just deny it. They have become aware of the fact that we are merely biting at their ankles and suck the life essence out of their miserable bodies. The wrestler of the year putting a bounty upon my head… for being at one week someone that is delusional, to have grown to a man that has risen to a value of 5000 bucks. It tells me that I’m under the skin of the confident jackass that is Sean Jackson.
Willow: Of course he would deny these allegations Goth…, I…,
Goth: But of course he would, doesn’t that not make it even more entertaining?? To see him smile the pearly whites that has become so evident… to hide behind a lawyer that needs to find him some loopholes to come out to the ring once more and be entertaining for us to bear?? Or is it the mere fact that in his imaginable world there is only room for one man and that is Sean Jackson…,
Willow: I was curious to hear your thoughts of Drake Green
Goth chuckles as he hears the name of Drake.
Goth: Oh Drake…, did you really had to do this?? Was it all worth it Drake?? To realize that by losing your integrity, that you would eventually lose everything?? And for what?? Because you knew you could not beat me on your own??? But it’s ok my friend… I can understand that fear will do stranger things to human beings… like walking out of your responsibilities as champion wouldn’t you agree Drake??
Willow: I am sure he wouldn’t Goth.
Goth chuckles as he nods his head
Goth: Of course he will, but that’s ok. I don’t mind being disagreed upon for once….,
Willow looks confused.
Willow: For once???
Goth rolls his eyes as he shakes his head.
Goth: Clearly sarcasm hasn’t been updated in your mainframe has it Willow??? I don’t give a damn what people think of me and what I am saying. They should better focus upon what I am willing to do inside that squared circle to regain what is rightfully mine. The World Heavyweight championship and I won’t stop at nothing to get what I want. Not even the future of this company
Willow: You already mentioned it a few moments ago, the bounty that has been put upon your head. Will that make things difficult for you to focus upon your match??
Goth grins as he rubs his chin for a few moments before answering that question.
Goth: You know something Willow?? That’s a real interesting question. I mean, it sure as will make some wrestlers out there want to take a risk and get a cheap shot in on me. But that’s ok, you see. I am used to be hunted by a lot of people, I am used to be gunned after for so long, it’s almost as if it is second nature to be wanted after by others. I just have to make sure that I take away the delusional hopes and dreams of people gaining a quick buck upon my expense. Just like I have done in issuing open challenges when I was the Roulette champion. It psyched people up, it made them step out of their own comfort zone and do something they usually wouldn’t do. And when the smoke has settled, it was me walking away smiling. And you know why I enjoy it??
Willow: I am sure that you are about to tell me
He grins as he nods his head before getting up and grabbing his glass, he walks towards the bottle of wine and pours something in.
Goth: You also want some??
Willow: No I’m fine.
Goth: You see Willow, I am not like those idiots out there that plays safe. I like to get ahead and do it on my own speed. The fastlane, taking a risk and don’t end up somewhere at the end of my career. I have been in the game just as long as Travis and all he can still be saying is that he is the future of the company. To idiots like that I keep telling them to keep on trying to learn a new trick as it may end up finding the secret of life. So when Sean Jackson put up a bounty on me, I just laughed. It made me realize that I have gotten inside the head of him, just like I have done to his buddies Drake and Travis. It’s what I do and I don’t even have to pretend not realizing it… because I am that damn good.
Willow: Speaking of Travis, you recently accepted his challenge to once again step foot in the ring with him as a rematch for the one you had prior to December 2 Dismember
Goth puts down the bottle of wine and takes a sip from his glass and enjoys the taste before swallowing the wine. Nodding his head as he leans against the table as he puts his glass down.
Goth: Travis wanted to undo the wrong that happened to him. I know it must be frustrating for any wrestler out there to lose a title match without even being pinned, being submitted or even outperformed. The problem is for Travis that he got outsmarted, tricked into getting caught for something that he didn’t do… and now he wants retribution for it. The guy wants to step up and become the one thing that he has wet dreams about every single night for the entire time that he has been in the SCW. The only fed that apparently he never had the chance to become a champion!!
Willow: He blames you…
Goth: He can blame me for all he wants, maybe he should also blame me for the rash that I will give him during our match. I don’t mind, because it only shows that he is just still a whining bitch over what happened last year when I became champion and his little assistance. God, do I have to relive that moment for over five years when he is going to issue another challenge with me for another match?? I want to move on, deal with bigger fishes and not mind the low minded idiots like him.
Willow: Errr..,
Goth: You do realize that I have to act nice to him?? It is not like I am trying to hard, but just look at him.
Willow: What??
Goth: He is someone that needs to be held by the hand, guided into a situation that he feels comfertable and then he will deliver. The problem at it is that when the moment comes to finally feel comfertable is the moment when the bell has rung and the three counts are being called everywhere.
Willow: You mean….,
Goth: No, I mean the guy is a nutcase. I’m not going into the history lessons that I am so certain that he will deliver to us again. Showing that he has evolved into an even more boring nutcase that still needs to invent the wheel for crying out loud. So I am giving him a favour, I stroked his ego and made him feel special. I made him remember all the idiots that didn’t know then what would be happening at this very day and feel bad that they spend so much time into creating a career that hasn’t.. and I repeat. HASN’T achieved anything glorious into the SCW.
Willow: But he has held many championships elsewhere… I…,
Goth: Yes he did,k there’s a reason why the Indy leagues are being referred to the minor leagues. There’s no shame into being a big shot there and come up short here. It’s realization that you just work here to earn another lousy buck. While others like me make them eat dirt.
Willow: So what will your intentions be after this match.
Goth grins as he grabs the glass of wine and drinks it before placing it back on the table.
Goth: After getting through with Travis, I am intending to knock on the doors of the SCW members of staff and get me that title match and be a true champion. Not someone that just plays champion, not someone that cannot handle real competition compared to that giant idiot Casey Williams. And if I have to beat that big oaf, then so be it. Because I am the very best in the SCW and the entire wrestling industry and there’s nothing that anyone out there can do about it..
With that Goth grins as he walks off and we go to a commercial break.
My mama said, “To get things done
You’d better not mess with Major Tomâ€
To some people things in life start to get to become an addiction to them, something that makes them lose control over their own wellbeing. To have that mental rage that keeps them awake at night, unable to think about anything else than that one thing that they need.
Things like that makes people weak, almost to the point where their reality slowly alters to that of your needs. Wishing for the morning to come where you would be able to withstand that what drives you insane. Promising yourself and others that this was the final time that you would allow yourself to fall prey to your own delusional thoughts and needs… how pitiful are you to believe your own lies??
“Ashes to ashes, funk to funky
We know Major Tom’s a junkie
Strung out in heaven’s high
Hitting an all-time lowâ€
Is it your own wish to fall down from grace?? To crawl through the mud of insanity as you need that one shot that clears your mind… even if it is for merely a few moments. Having your brain suck out every life essence. To make you feel like a human being, while in reality you are far fetched from it??
Do not drag me into your own misery, as your life has no meaning to me anymore. To hear your begging voice, trembling with your own need. Your need to be normal once more, while with every step you drag yourself deeper into your own misery. And for what?? Because I am the one that makes you Major Tom??? Major Tom is weak, Major Tom has fallen from the heavens and dropped with his face into his own sins.
“Ashes to ashes, funk to funky….
We know you are a junkie.
Strung out in heaven’s high.
Hitting an all-time lowâ€
Friday 15th of January 2016
Another moment of Travis Nathaniel Andrews
The six sided ring in the E Center in Laughlin, Nevada can be seen as the lights shine bright upon it from high above the arena. The entire arena is completely empty, except for one seat on the third row where Goth can be seen sitting. Having his feet on the seats of the chair in front of him on the second row. His hands are locked behind his head as he stares at the ring, completely focused upon it before he shows a sinister grin as he notices the camera crew coming closer to him.
Goth: How much more do we need to tangle Travis???
Goth chuckles as he closes his eyes and lets the name Travis roll from his lips in a whisper as he continues to talk.
Goth: Can you promise me that after this is over and I somehow end up victorious that you could let it slide and move on with your life??? Or will you come up with another cunning scheme to get back at me?? It’s almost as if you are so addicted to that one quest that it really starts to get sad wouldn’t you agree?? I mean seriously Travis, will you be reminded to be the one that always attempted to get one step ahead of me and….
Goth grins as he re opens his eyes and stares into the camera.
Goth: And fails every time??
Goth: Oh I know there is not much for me to say as you will get enraged as your pearly whites will work overtime as to distract us from your rambling and think whether it’s fake or you are very fortunate with your tooth brush. But let’s not move away for what it is truly all about now won’t we Travis???
He sighs as he slowly starts to dig his fingers into his hairs and let them run through them.
Goth: It’s fascinating to see how your determination is so grand to prove to the world that neither of us has ever made a real pinfall attempt or a submission that caused a decision. Is that oh so important for you to prove that to the world??? Is that why you aligned yourself with cowards like Drake Green and Sean Jackson???
Goth: Oh I am sorry, you mean the man that took away my championship as you and Sean Jackson as well as Mark Ward were mere bystanders right???
He grins as he moves his finger from left to right to say no.
Goth: Shame on you Travis, is that what you like to tell your grand children when you are an old and gray haired fool that you never did anything of such of things?? Or is it merely the fact that it depends on how you look at it??? And tell me Travis, how do you look at it?? As the man that is the victim?? That has gotten injustice served upon you?? The man that now feels that he has the right to demand things, just because sugar daddy Hot Stuff Mark Ward is holding your hand and tells you the things you wish to hear?? Making you feel that there is finally someone that understands you?? That knows your needs and fulfils them with his broken promises???
Goth: Is that why you joined Drake and Sean?? To finally cash in to your promises to avenge whatever it is that is holding this tight grip upon you?? Oh I’m sorry Travis, this is 2016 and I do not intend to look too far back as others may do over and over again. I don’t feel like to be a broken record in an age where streaming movies and music have taken over the old age of decay. And yet, isn’t it interesting that the classics still maintain a level of class that imitations never seem to understand???
Goth’s eyes are locked upon the camera as he is having a serious look upon his face.
“A little piece of you
The little piece in me
Will die… (This is not a miracle)
For this is not Americaâ€
“Blossom fails to bloom
The Little peace in me
Will die… (This is not America)
For this is not a miracleâ€
Goth: I know you may think to yourself what is this all about?? Then again, I never expected you to understanding a deeper meaning what words could mean huh Travis?? For you always to be right and others have to pass their opinion on others for their deaf ears as yours are a void. But it’s quite interesting to see how you try to grasp upon anything that makes you assume to have a full profit and momentum. I seriously question your intelligence as seemingly your own true passin is buying and selling hotels. But you see Travis, you putting down Raab for his heritage as a German makes me wonder… have you forgotten your own background as having a partly German, Dutch and Scottish background?? Proclaiming your own existence as that of the one that could ridicule others?? Is that how you envision yourself as a true American?? Or have you watched too many movies where the key line in their thin storyline was to own is to take and not leave anything behind??? As it does not matter to me whether you respect your own heritage or just adapt to another.
Goth: Your ideals are just as false as your own ability to maintain a high level of intensity inside that ring over there.
Goth points to the six sided ring in front of him as his eyes remain focused and determined.
Goth: You see Travis, you talk a good game but never live the American Dream of overcoming the odds have you?? Oh no, I’m not bashing the American Dream of overcoming all odds and achieve everything that you work for. But that’s the problem Travis, what have you done to work for?? What intensity besides of your acted role of being misunderstood every single week have you ever done?? Because this what you have envisioned you to have for your entire life is not a miracle… is not America.. it is a lie that has become more important than reality ITSELF!!
Him raising his voice for a moment causes him to grip the sides of his chair for a moment before relaxing again and showing his patented smile.
Goth: It’s for moments like these where I am pretty sure that you are awake late at night inside your bed. Having your sheets cling to your body as your head is tossing and turning. Trying to escape it, yet you cannot. And until that moment does not end Travis, you will never get over the fact that I am the one that constantly is a step in front of you. I never change, I never forget and I do in times forgive. Although for you, there is nothing to forget and surely not much to forgive.
Goth: Because you do not deserve anything of this sorts Travis, because your intentions aren’t pure and aren’t of that of a kind heart. All you proceed to obtain is Fame and nothing more than that. To obtain the Fame, to gain the momentum for once in your stinking life is to stop whining and do something about it. The fact that you got over the foolishness and challenge me has shown me that you finally grew a set of balls, the problem is that making me wonder whether it has yet to influence your intelligence to make a rightful decision.
Goth laughs as he closes his eyes.
Goth: And I wonder, wasn’t it that you wanted the same match again with me?? And yet, what has it become?? A mere standard match. Were you hoping that it would be a mere scientific match so that your ability would come out even more than it would be right now?? A real wrestling talent like yours would never make an issue like that wouldn’t you?? Or is it that you are relying upon tricks as well as that of Jackson?? If that’s the case then I would applaud you that someone has lowered to your own level…. I guess you aren’t alone anymore.
His sadistic smile emerges on his face.
Goth: Wasn’t it a while ago where you, the New Supremacy were comparing yourselves to us?? Wondering why I would align myself with nobodies like Samuel and someone like Raab?? And look at you now, already one man down and soon to have a supremacy that is short lived. Was that the future you had before yourself Travis?? To stand alone once again, just never expected it to happen this soon?
Goth: Not that it would make any difference for you and Sean now wouldn’t it?? Seeing that you all are in for this for yourself. I mean, first you have Drake that as of late likes to associate himself with brainless goons. To find some extra protection so that he can sleep at night with his care bear PJ’s on… and then there is Sean Jackson…, seriously have we ever seen him talk about Drake and you and mean believed a single word that he has sincere appreciation for the both of you?? Here we have the wrestler of the year, who would love to jump in and take over Drake’s place in no time to be the top dog of this two men solo gang that is the New Supremacy… and then there is you… a guy that waits his time, hoping that people will grow old and the only one that is left in this industry is going to be you. Ultimately having to either choose on closing the doors or pass on whatever gold that is left upon you. And then all of you dare to question why I rather choose for a unity that does what we say we will do… just ask Drake for crying out loud
He chuckles even more as he mentions the name of Drake Green.
Goth: But I will go into this ring with you, I will wrestle you Travis. I will take everything that you have to dish out and then just when you think you have me… I will mount a comeback that will make your head spin and your mind go bezerk. I will kick out at every pin attempt and break every submission. I will outsmart you at every cause when you think you have me beat. Trust me Travis, if you think that the week before December 2 Dismember was a nightmare for you… then don’t feel bad when I put on my red shoes and dance the blues. The blues that is your demise once more Travis.
Goth: David Bowie may never perform on God’s green earth anymore, but that will not stop him to sing about Heroes… and when the night is over, I promise you. One day, I have beaten you so badly that you will ultimately see me as your hero… Even if it was just for one day. I will beat you Travis, I will make you understand what the future will hold for you and why I am… The Greatest of All Time.
Goth slowly rises from his seat as he stares into the camera for the final time and grins.
Goth: Don’t worry Travis, when I’m done with you… you won’t be a Major Tom anymore… as you will be broken down and scattered across the ring… until Climax Control Travis… until then…
With that he walks off and the shot slowly fades to darkness.
