Author Topic: This is a joke right?  (Read 307 times)

Offline Jessie Salco

  • SCW's Heavy Metal Bombshell
  • Match Writers
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2003
    • View Profile
    • Jessie Salco
This is a joke right?
« on: October 10, 2014, 10:00:13 PM »
 Despite her loss to Crystal Hilton last week on Climax Control Jessie now had a chance to get back what was stolen from her at Violent Conduct II by the Mean Girls, however this chance came with a hitch, it was a Battle Royal between Jessie, Necra, Traci Paterson, Joanne Canelli, Orchid, Raynin of the Fallen and Trishelle Jordan, with the exceptions of Orchid and Trishelle all of these women have held the Tag Titles at one point or another, the only catch? The winner teams with Veronica as the other half of the Tag Team Champions, earlier this week on Twitter Jessie said that she actually wanted to lose the match for one but can she overcome that and win?

A small café, Chattahoochee County, California
October 10th, 2014, 11:00am

I may want my titles back but teaming with Veronica?

I don’t have the time or the patience to carry that skanky, anorexic, over tanned moron to a decent match every time we step into the ring together to team up for a title defense so no, I don’t’ want to win this match! Do I want the titles back? Hell yes! Do I want to win them back this way? Hell no! I’d rather just take them back from those morons by beating them in a match.

And then off course, Liz had to quit, good fucking riddance!

I’ve heard that she’s found new employment and I can’t help but feel sorry for the women in whatever promotion she’s ended up in because she’ll make their lives a living hell, much like she made the lives of the Bombshell Division hell.

As for my opponents, if it weren’t for the damn stip I’d be pretty excited for the match, first there’s Necra who I finally beat for the first time a few weeks prior to the Violent Conduct II PPV, then there’s Traci who I pinned to win the SCW Bombshell Tag Titles in the first place and Joanne Canelli who I’ve wanted a piece off since she beat me for the Bombshell Roulette Championship during the Team Erick debacle!

Combine that with the talents of Orchid and Trishelle Jordan, two Bombshells I’ve never faced before, and on paper I should be super psyched for this match, in practice however? The match is to determine who holds the SCW Bombshell Tag Titles with Veronica when the stip SHOULD say “last two Bombshells standing are the new champs”.

And don’t give me any bullshit about that being unfair to Veronica! She cheated to win those titles in the first place!

I need something to take my mind of this so let’s jump straight into the scene, Shane’s busy filling in the application form for Masterchef and we’re helping him out in any way we can, after this I’ll be meeting Katie at a local gym for a workout so it’s all good!

“Okay, name: Shane Croswell, street address….” Shane did say this part out loud but if you think I’m putting my home address and telephone number out in a promo knowing how crazy some parts of the SCW Universe can be then you’re just as moronic as the Mean Girls. “Facebook address, gender, male last I checked, no children, engaged to a wrestler….”

“They actually ask you for your spouse’s occupation?” I asked him and Shane nodded.

“Don’t ask me, I didn’t create this form.” Shane responded as he filled it in. “Grew up in Miami, Florida, US, what should I put down for occupation?”

“Just put down unemployed, that should cover it.” Jake responded and Shane nodded before putting that down as well as N/A for the other employment details. “Jessie, are you comfortable going into your match?” Jake asked as Shane filled in the rest of the application.

“What do you think? Winning this match will be a double edged sword.” I pointed out as Shane filled out the form. “I want the titles but I don’t want to team with Veronica.”

“Barbeque describes my style of cooking, been cooking for seven years, I cook every day, self-taught….” Shane trailed off as he filled in the form. “Jess, look at it this way, if you win you can sabotage the team so that they’ll lose to their first challengers and challenge the new champs when Amy returns.”

“Huh, never thought of that.” I admitted with a grin. “But I still have to win regardless so I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”

“Well if you say so.” Shane responded as he filled in the form. “Signature dishes, I guess I’d have to say the three dishes I made last week.”

“Yeah, why not go with that? Those were some great dishes.” Jake responded as Shane wrote down and described the dishes.

“Strengths: confident, willing to be creative, weaknesses: inexperience working with anything that isn’t meat, can sometimes get too creative.” Shane said as he filled in the form. “Anything I won’t cook or eat?”

“Didn’t you tell me that you’re allergic to seafood?” I asked him and Shane nodded before putting that down.

“Thanks for the reminder, I’ll still cook it but I can’t taste it.” Shane responded as he put it down. “My Masterchef dream, that’s easy, open up a Gourmet Bar and Grill with a Heavy Metal theme.”

“Now that sounds awesome!” I responded with a grin as Shane filled it in. “How long do you have left Shane?” I asked and Shane looked down the form as we got our latest refills.

“Just my profile, family info and whether or not I’ve been on TV, guess I’ll have to put down SCW for that.” Shane responded as he filled it all in. “Really the only things left are stuff like insurance, whether or not I smoke, have tattoos, which you know I do, or if I’ve ever been in legal trouble, why do you ask?”

“I’ve got my promo to do and besides, we both know that you don’t have a record so you have no problems there.” I responded and Shane nodded as I stood up. “If the waitress asks tell her I’m going for a cigarette or something.” I told them and they nodded, I don’t smoke but I figured it would be a good cover story and easier to explain than trash talking my next opponents, speaking of which….

“On paper, I should be excited for this match, me against Necra, Joanne, Traci, Orchid and Trishelle, I don’t know about you but that sounds like a hell of a match to me, however in reality it’s the idea of a sick joke as your putting five Bombshells who hate the Mean Girls into a match where they get a chance to team with Veronica as one half of the new tag champs, in case you can’t tell that prospect, to me, is as appealing as a root canal!”

First up is Orchid and Trishelle.

“I’m getting Orchid and Trishelle out of the way first, not because I don’t like them but because they are the only Bombshells in this match who I have never faced before, Trishelle has been impressive since her debut and Orchid frequently tore the house down as part of her team with Song so I know that I can expect a good fight out of them at the very least.

Next up is Traci.

“Traci, the one I pinned to win the titles in the first place, I’m not happy about this prospect either but I at least know I can expect a good fight out of you! You may be bigger and stronger than me but how well did that help you when you lost the Tag Titles to me and Amy? Yeah, I thought so!”

Next up is Joanne.

“Joanne, the last time we met you ended up cutting my Roulette Title reign short, if this isn’t the definition of irony I don’t know what is! That said thanks to the match we’ve had against each other in the past I know you’ll be a tough opponent in this match!”

Last but not least is Necra.

“Necra, my most recent opponent in this match and if it weren’t for the fact that I finally beat you two weeks before my first and last defense of my latest title reign I’d be nervous going into this match, instead I’m excited to face you again and I hope for your sake that you have stepped up your game since then because I have!”

And with that I decided to wrap things up.

“You may have noticed that I haven’t mentioned beating any of my opponents, there’s a reason for that and that’s the fact that this is the first match of my career that I actually want to lose! Sure, winning means I get another title reign with the Tag Titles but teaming with Veronica should be considered cruel and unusual punishment for anyone who isn’t a Mean Girl! This is SCW’s Heavy Metal Bombshell Jessie Salco signing off, to the other Bombshells in this match, good luck but for once I’m not in it to win it but if I do win then god help me because that means teaming up with a Mean Girl!”

I went to join the boys as the scene fades.